The Wounds We Carry: What Hidden Body Trauma Are You Still Holding Onto? -Lisa Whittle

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Wounds We Carry: What Hidden Body Trauma Are You Still Holding Onto?" Featuring Lisa Whittle

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
• Host: Candace Cameron Bure (CandyRock)
• Guest: Lisa Whittle
• Release Date: August 12, 2025
• Description: Life is like a rollercoaster with its ups and downs, but it's better when shared. Join Candace and special guests for authentic conversations about living with kindness, class, and purpose.

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Introduction

Candace Cameron Bure opens the episode by welcoming listeners and introducing the theme: exploring hidden body traumas and the wounds we carry. She introduces her guest, Lisa Whittle, highlighting their mutual interest in spiritual growth and purposeful living.

Personal Stories of Body Trauma

Lisa Shares a Traumatic Experience: Lisa recounts a distressing incident from her college years. At 21, while leaving a dinner with a friend, she encountered a man who unexpectedly exposed himself in a lewd manner. She describes the overwhelming feelings of shock and violation.

• Notable Quote:
  "My brain is trying to compute what's happening, and I pull out of the parking lot... Traumatized by what I had just seen."
  [08:19] Lisa Whittle

Candace Reflects on Personal Incident: Candace shares her own experience of an inappropriate encounter during a lunch meeting with a coworker. She describes feeling violated and the subsequent emotional turmoil, including shame and embarrassment.

• Notable Quote:
  "He started kind of trying to sweet talk me... my hair on my arms stood up and it felt so awful and violating."
  [16:46] Candace Cameron Bure

These personal narratives set the stage for a deeper discussion on how such experiences impact one's sense of safety and body image.

Impact of Traumatic Experiences on Women

Lisa delves into how women often carry unrecognized traumas, such as unwanted sexual advances or lewd comments, which they may not label as traumatic but profoundly affect their wellbeing.

• Notable Quote:
  "Women carry these things, and they don't even regard them as traumatic experiences. But your soul is a part of your body. You take these things in, and it all matters."
  [12:35] Lisa Whittle

Candace adds that feelings of unsafety are pervasive, especially for women who travel alone or work in environments where they feel physically vulnerable.

• Notable Quote:
  "I always just feel unsafe, especially if it's dark or things like that, in a physical sense."
  [13:37] Candace Cameron Bure

Body Shaming and Its Long-Term Effects

Candace's Experience with Seventeen Magazine: Candace shares a poignant memory from her teenage years when she was rejected by Seventeen magazine for not fitting their physical standards despite her efforts to improve her appearance.

• Notable Quote:
  "They didn't think you were pretty enough to even be in your magazine. And it shapes you."
  [24:05] Candace Cameron Bure

This rejection deeply affected her self-esteem and body image, showcasing how societal standards can leave lasting emotional scars.

Lisa Discusses External Comments: Lisa talks about how seemingly harmless comments about appearance can perpetuate body shame and contribute to unhealthy body images.

• Notable Quote:
  "We're always scanning the room to see if we are the biggest or the thinnest in every room."
  [25:28] Lisa Whittle

The Complexity of Compliments and Body Positivity

Candace's Struggle with Compliments: Candace expresses the conflicted feelings that arise when receiving compliments about her appearance, especially when they're unsolicited or tied to weight loss.

• Notable Quote:
  "When I'm getting compliments on losing weight... it did not feel like a compliment."
  [35:40] Candace Cameron Bure

Lisa's Perspective on Compliments: Lisa emphasizes the importance of shifting focus from appearance to affirming the whole person. She argues that compliments should celebrate a person's character, intelligence, and spiritual depth rather than their physical attributes.

• Notable Quote:
  "You're so multifaceted, and that's just a glory mentality. That is to do all things to the glory of God."
  [43:26] Lisa Whittle

They discuss how societal norms often prioritize physical appearance over inner qualities, leading to superficial validation that can harm self-worth.

Spiritual Insights and Healing

Lisa on Whole Body Theology: Lisa introduces the concept of "whole body theology," which integrates spiritual healing with physical and emotional wellbeing. She shares how her faith has been instrumental in overcoming body traumas and finding holistic healing.

• Notable Quote:
  "If that does not change the way that we are able to heal from all of the things we've witnessed... there's no hope."
  [46:58] Lisa Whittle

Candace's Emotional Response: Candace reflects deeply on Lisa's insights, expressing how spiritual understanding provides a foundation for true healing and freedom from body-related traumas.

• Notable Quote:
  "It's the only place where freedom comes."
  [46:58] Candace Cameron Bure

They discuss the interplay between body and soul, emphasizing that spiritual healing addresses the root of emotional and physical wounds, offering lasting relief beyond superficial solutions like diet and exercise.

Listener Question and Further Discussion

Listener Question from Eliana: Eliana asks for advice for young women struggling with body positivity while finding it difficult to maintain consistent diet and exercise routines, feeling trapped in an endless loop.

Candace and Lisa's Response: They acknowledge the complexity of body positivity and differentiate it from their theological approach. Lisa highlights the importance of having a biblical foundation for body positivity, rather than relying solely on cultural movements.

• Notable Quote:
  "We're going back to the Word and that's how it's gonna change us."
  [50:25] Lisa Whittle

They emphasize that true body freedom and consistency in health routines come from a deeper spiritual alignment rather than transient cultural trends.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Candace and Lisa wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of addressing hidden body traumas through spiritual and holistic approaches. They encourage listeners to seek healing through faith and community support, moving beyond superficial affirmations to embrace their full selves.

• Final Quote by Lisa:
  "Whole body theology... That's the thing we, most of us have been missing."
  [48:10] Lisa Whittle

• Candace's Closing Remark:
  "Be grateful all day, every day."
  **[52:12] Candace Cameron Bure]

---

Key Takeaways:

• Recognition of Hidden Traumas: Many women carry unrecognized body traumas that impact their self-esteem and sense of safety.
• Impact of Societal Standards: Rejections and body shaming from societal institutions like media can have long-lasting emotional effects.
• Complexity of Compliments: While intended to uplift, comments on physical appearance can perpetuate body shame and hinder true self-acceptance.
• Whole Body Theology: Integrating spiritual healing with physical and emotional wellbeing provides a comprehensive approach to overcoming body traumas.
• Need for Deeper Affirmations: Shifting focus from appearance to affirming the whole person fosters genuine self-worth and healing.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "My brain is trying to compute what's happening, and I pull out of the parking lot... Traumatized by what I had just seen."
  - Lisa Whittle [08:19]

• "They didn't think you were pretty enough to even be in your magazine. And it shapes you."
  - Candace Cameron Bure [24:05]

• "You're so multifaceted, and that's just a glory mentality. That is to do all things to the glory of God."
  - Lisa Whittle [43:26]

• "Whole body theology... That's the thing we, most of us have been missing."
  - Lisa Whittle [48:10]

• "Be grateful all day, every day."
  - Candace Cameron Bure [52:12]

---

This episode of "The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast" offers a profound exploration of how hidden body traumas affect women's lives and emphasizes the importance of holistic and spiritual approaches to healing. By sharing personal stories and thoughtful discussions, Candace and Lisa provide valuable insights and encouragement for listeners seeking to overcome body-related wounds and achieve true self-acceptance.

Transcript

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And they go, we have another meeting with Seventeen magazine. And I'm like, this is going to be it now. They're going to put me in the magazine because I've lost £20 and I'm a little bit older. And I sat in that meeting and then we're like, well, are they going to do it? And they went, yeah, they, they, they noticed that you looked better, but they still don't think you're the right fit for the magazine to put you in it.

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

Life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Bure podcast. We're here for real conversations about life's challenges and everything in between. Today, Lisa Whittle and I are talking about the body wounds that hurt the most and how healing begins. Come join us.

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

Hi, Lisa. Hi.

[Lisa Whittle]

Here we are again.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Here we are. I'm dreaming of a matcha latte right now.

[Lisa Whittle]

I am too. I'm with you. I want a vanilla latte with oat milk.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Mmm.

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm ready.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, I don't. I gave up coffee five years ago. I mean, I didn't give it up. I, I just choose not to drink it anymore because it didn't make me feel good. But I actually don't have caffeine at all. Like very little caffeine. But today was a matcha kind of day. I love dreaming of it.

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm not on the matcha train, but I have been told that I should Be. So I. I'm interested. I'm curious.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm. Here's the thing. I'm just like, if you like coffee, drink coffee.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. You like matcha?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Drink matcha. Coffee does not do well. My body does not like coffee.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So I like the taste of it.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But it doesn't sit well with me. So I stopped drinking it five years ago. And you couldn't pay me to even have a sip of it because I don't want my body to feel bad.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right. Well, why would you go back now? You've already detoxed from it. It's been five years. It's. No. Yeah. And I'm not a fancy coffee person. That might hurt the feelings of some of your listeners. I'm not. I'm not. I want to be a coffee snob. I do. I really one of my, like, I don't do New Year's resolutions, but a couple years ago I was like, I want to grow something, like a. Like grow herbs. That was something I wanted to do. And I also wanted to like learn how to make really, really good coffee. I've never gotten there, but I want to do it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So what do you have? Like drip. I mean, do you do drip coffee or do a don't tell?

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm really, really. I just don't care. I don't care that much. I just want my coffee in the morning. I just want one cup. My husband would say, I usually don't even finish it. And it's true. So I'm really not. I'm not a coffee snob. I'm not. I have a very basic order when I go somewhere. So like, this latte today is kind of a luxury for me.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Got it.

[Lisa Whittle]

Because I'm really just like a very basic coffee. Whatever. But yeah, like, I don't, I don't like hotel coffee. Hotel coffee usually is terrible if it's like a regular.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right, Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Normal hotel coffee. Yeah, it's terr.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But I used to drink. I used to drink coffee until five years ago. Then I started drinking matcha, which I love matcha. Like I love it, love it. And I'm more of a purist, so I drink it with hot water only.

[Lisa Whittle]

Okay.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And people always say, like, matcha tastes like grass. I can see that. Depending if you have like, not very good quality matcha, but a high grade matcha, I don't think tastes like grass. I think it's delicious. But then if you have a latte and you put whatever you milk choice is that to me is like very luxurious. Which I don't do very often. And I'm gonna have one today. I'm gonna have a matcha latte today. But, yeah, I went from drinking a matcha every day to just, you know, I'll maybe have one or two a month. Yeah, I just cut a lot of caffeine out and my body feels better for it.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. Yeah, it's true. I, I, I really, I was telling you this. I cut at one point. It was like, it was 10 years ago. I cut sugar, dairy, and caffeine all at one time.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

How were your headaches?

[Lisa Whittle]

My headaches were terrible at first. Then I got used to it and I felt incredible.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

So I might revisit that at some point. I need to.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Would you say sugar, dairy, and caffeine? Yeah, I mean, those are, those are the big three.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah, they are.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I know.

[Lisa Whittle]

So your body adjusts and you're better for it. Honestly, you really are better for it. So at some point now I feel.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Now I feel that I didn't, wasn't trying to just talk diets here. Now. That wasn't my, I don't even consider.

[Lisa Whittle]

That really a diet. I consider that just some of the things in your life you, you might not need to consume in your body. So I'm not saying I'm doing it right now, but I might eventually again.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

One day because I felt great. I think that our lattes have arrived.

[Lisa Whittle]

Oh, exciting.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay. We just had a slight little pause because our lattes came.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And then I tried wine, and it tasted like it was made with coffee water.

[Lisa Whittle]

The funny thing is. Well, it's kind of funny slash sad is you are building it up so much, so excited. And then you got it and it was like, wah, wah, totally.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I just passed it along. I, I'm not going to drink mine. But you, you have yours, I got mine, so.

[Lisa Whittle]

Sorry.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's okay. It's okay.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah, I'm exc.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Today we're going to be talking about. Oh, another heavy topic.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right. The segue into segue.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's the wounds that hurt. And deeper wounds than just getting a bad matcha latte. So the wounds that hurt and, and how we heal from them.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. The interesting thing, though, I think is a lot of times we don't even regard things that have happened to us as maybe wounds or even traumas. I was thinking about when I was in College, freshly 21, and I was having dinner with a friend of mine and we were parting ways. She got in her car, I got in my car. And I remember that I was driving to the back of the building. Like, I had to go around the back of the building to go out. And so I drove my car to the back of the building, and there was. It was like a little incline. And it was right about dusk, so it was still kind of light outside. But also, I remember my headlights were on. And as I was driving around the back of the building, I remember seeing a man, and his back was. To me, was standing by his car. And when my lights got onto him, he turned around at that moment and he lifted his shirt over his head, dropped his pants, and made a number of lewd gestures with his parts, private parts. In a matter of, like, 10 seconds, all this just, like, happens. I mean, we'd call it flashing, I guess, is what you call it. You flash.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That's like a nice way of saying, right?

[Lisa Whittle]

I mean, I don't even know what it's called. Flashing is what like. Yeah, I think it was called. But I remember that all happened in a matter of 10 seconds. My brain is trying to compute what's happening, and I pull out of the parking lot, and I remember thinking, you know, here I am, this young woman. I just witnessed this thing, and I'm like, okay, what do I do? Do I drive to the police station? Where is the police station? Are they gonna do anything? By this point, this man's gonna be long gone. I can't describe the man because he pulled his T shirt over his head, right? And then I'm like, I've gotta go to night class. So what did I do? I drove to night class, and I sat there with everybody else and learned the history of modern business or whatever I was learning. Traumatized by what I had just seen.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And I think for a long time. Well, for a long time, I never told anybody about it. I wasn't even thinking about it, because in my mind, you know, it was just something that happened. And I just sort of, you know, went through whatever my day was, Went through the next day, went through the next day, but carried sort of this traumatic experience with me. I don't. I never remember telling my mother about it. I never remember telling. Maybe I told a roommate about it. Knowing me, I probably just was like, oh, my gosh, guess what happened to me? And we laughed about it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right, right, right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Because it was just, you know, something weird that had happened. But the thing is, Candace, like, that's traumatic. My eyes. My body, because my eyes are part of my body, took in something that I had never asked for, that I had never wanted That I didn't know how to process. It was traumatic to me. And I think I never really even thought about that. But what I've thought about since is the fact that so many of us as women have faced traumatic experiences like that. And we've just cooked dinner that night, or we've gone to night class, or we've gone to work, you know?

[Listener]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Maybe it was like lewd comments on the street. I mean, I remember being hired at 16 to go work. It was my first job. I worked at a swimming pool center, and I was surrounded by men constantly. Why did my boss pay me attention and take me as a special employee to go fly in a helicopter to scout out sites? I'm 16, right?

[Listener]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Why did I get hired at a lumber yard at 18 with all these other young women? And I just thought, well, that's so cool. I get to work with people my age. I was working in a. In customer service, answering questions about chicken wire. I knew nothing about chicken wire. But now looking back, I'm like, there were a bunch of young women, attractive young women that are working here. Right. And it's like, you make these connects, but at the time, you just think, oh, I just got a job. That's so cool.

[Listener]

Right?

[Lisa Whittle]

And we're just holding these things. Not every experience I had in those situations were traumatic, but certainly there were plenty of them. There were plenty of comments made. There were plenty of, you know, just gestures. There were plenty of things that happen. And I think women carry these things, and they don't even regard them as traumatic experiences. But your eyes are part of your body. Your. Your soul is a part of your body. You take these things in.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And it all matters.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

I was. I saw something on social media not long ago, and it was a. A post.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It was.

[Lisa Whittle]

Well, actually was a real. It was two men talking. And one of the men asked the other man, he said, you know, when was the last time you felt unsafe in your body? When you were just walking down the road? And the guy was like, I don't know. You know, it was. I can't even think of a time. And the other man said, well, you know, I asked my daughter about it, and she said, every single day, I feel unsafe every single day. And I thought about that, and I thought, yeah, in some way, I mean.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

In a physical sense, I would say the same thing. I'm alone a lot because I. I travel alone. I'm at work. I'm. When I'm shooting my films and, yeah, just physically walking and not having the presence of another person. But even. And, and I'm a very petite person, so anyone can overpower me. I mean, I'll put up a really good fight, but I really will. But yeah, like, I always just feel unsafe, especially if it's dark or things like that, for. In a physical sense.

[Lisa Whittle]

And I think we think about that for our daughters too. Right. Like, I mean, I thought about. My daughter's really small too. She's really petite. And I'm always thinking. And she would have put up a good fight too, but I'm thinking she's all these miles away. Me in college, not that I could do anything, but I'm thinking to myself, you know, what is going on with her all the time? I'm thinking of her safety constantly.

[Listener]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Like, it's always on my mind. I'm thinking, and I think from an early age, we're. We're always aware our body could be violated.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Like, that is a predominant thought for women. My body could be violated at any time.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And even, like, what happened with me being flashed there, that violation, it was a traumatic experience, but it was also a reminder my body is not safe in many situations. And I'm independent like you. I travel all the time as well. And I think even, even going to college, I literally got in my car, drove 16 hours to go to college by myself. That was before cell phones. I remember driving and getting my own hotel room and getting on a payphone and calling my parents and saying, I'm here halfway. I'm fine. Yeah, I mean, that's. I was super independent.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

So I wasn't like a scaredy cat by any means. But like, those things of safety keep coming back. So I think there's that. And I'm sure as people are listening to this, they're thinking of their own body journeys and they're thinking of their own traumatic experiences and feelings along the way.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I mean, one just came to mind and I'm. It's like, it's kind of weird to share this, but I'm going to share.

[Listener]

It.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Because it wasn't. It wasn't that long ago. I mean, I was still in my 30s. It was, you know, probably 10 years ago, but I'm like a full woman adult. Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And I had had lunch with a co worker. No, not an actor, so don't try to start guessing, like people that are listening, but someone that just, you know, that I had known from work. And I thought, you know, and normally. Let me preface this by saying, like, I normally wouldn't go have. I mean, I would not go have dinner with a man that is not my husband or anything like that. But this person was like, hey, I'm in town. You want to grab lunch? Yes, absolutely. So we grabbed lunch and by the end of it, he had had a couple of drinks at lunch. I did not. I mean, that's not. Yeah, there wasn't even a thought in my mind. And towards the end of, he wanted to was like, hey, what else are you. What are we doing now? And I was like, I'm going to do errands, but that's about it. And he was like, well, let me go with you. And I'm like, no. And I'm like, that. That's kind of weird. And I was kind of giggling because I was just like, this is. This is weird. And I didn't even make the connect yet. And then it started.

[Lisa Whittle]

He.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

He started kind of trying to sweet talk me a little bit and I was like, okay. And then he put his hand on the back of my head and started stroking my hair. And it was so creepy. And like the hair on my arms stood up and it felt so awful and violating, even though he wasn't hurting me or anything. But I was just like, you don't have permission to touch me. And then he said something that I can't repeat, but it was very lewd and was just implying, you know, come back with me and these are the things you could do to me. And it was like, excuse me. And I was so shocked and embarrassed to even hear the words that he said. I felt shame in the. That moment, like, and I giggled at it. And I was like, no, that's so silly. And I really gotta go. And I just left.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And I walked away from that. And I'm like, what in the world just happened? And why do I feel like I.

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

It just like it came out of nowhere. And then it's like all of the, the things that I'm like, what did, what did I do? What did I do? Were there signs? Did I mislead? Did I. Was there anything that I did to imply that this was not just a, like a friendly business lunch, you know, and then you, you go, you can just spiral into all of the things. And I. And it like, no, like, this was a man that was trying to take advantage of a situation and blah, blah, blah. But like that I. I couldn't even speak it out loud to, like, my best friend for a. A long time. Like, I didn't even want to tell the story, because I. That's how gross I felt from it.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes, that. That's really profound that you shared that. Because I think that's what happens when we do have traumatic experiences like that. First of all, I think we struggle to even say anything about it, but then even to label it as trauma because obviously. And again, I don't come as a therapist, so I just want to be clear on that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

But those things are traumatic. They are traumatic. Whether that's a clinical trauma, I don't know. I'm not trying to say that it is or is. But it is traumatic. Yes. To go through these types of things, especially with what we already struggle with in our body for women. We don't come from sort of ground zero with this. Come already having these, these inner dialogues with ourselves. We already come with all of these struggles that we feel. We already feel guilty enough about all manner of whatever. Plus we might come with baggage of, you know, thoughts of purity and thoughts of, you know, whatever. All manner of whatever. And so then to go into this situation like you were just talking about the prevailing thought is just exactly what you said, which was, what did I do here? Where did I go wrong? So there is sort of this body shame that comes over you in that moment. And I mean, even when I went through that when I was a young 20 something and I went through that, where I was flashed, there was even the thought that I had, was, did I do something here? Should I have gone a different direction in the parking lot? Ridiculous.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Had nothing to do with anything I did. This was this man's sickness. It was his illness, not mine. But I think that is where we go to. And so we really don't even want to talk about the traumas. And the number of things like that that have happened to us, we often just don't even regard. And so I think it's really important that first of all, this is not a measurement of like, how traumatic was your experience. This is not the home of things.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, please. Because obviously I know there's a lot more trauma than what I just shared with you. Much more horrific. Yes, absolutely.

[Lisa Whittle]

Because there are many, many things that are far deeper and all those things, but we're not in comparing those. But I think the important thing at play here is whatever has happened that you have seen, experienced, gone through that might have been traumatic for you, that's something that's really important to. To bring to light, to bring into the light so that God can heal that. And I also want to say and this is on a lower scale. But even comments, even criticisms that we've had in our body, those things stick with us as traumatic things.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Of course they do. I mean, I could just tell you so many of them.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right, because those are the.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Also the things that you remember.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So much because they hurt so badly. I think I've shared this before too, but like when I was, I think 16, I was fifth, maybe the first time was 15. And I am on Full House. I went to Seventeen magazine in New York, but I was an actress, I'm on a hit show. So my publicist with my mom, we go there trying to see like, oh, maybe they would put me in the magazine, maybe even on the COVID And I sat with the woman who was working there at the time and they, you know, had the meeting with me and then we left and a couple days go by and we call the publicist and we're like, so are they going to do an article or something? And they said, no, she just, they, they just don't think she's the right fit for the magazine. She doesn't physically look like what we're looking for for the magazine. Which was the biggest blow to my ego and my heart and my 15 year old mind that my body. You couldn't even do a piece and put a picture of my face on the interior of a magazine because I. You didn't think I was pretty enough to even be in your magazine. And then I went back like a year later and if you remember, if anyone watched Full House, there's like from one season to the next and I think it was from like either from season six to season seven or something in the opening credits where the theme song from Full House is playing. I'm riding an exercise bike where it would say my name. Because that summer I had lost like I think almost £20 or £15 to £20 I had lost between the season. So I was feeling good, I was feeling better. So I went back and Now I'm, I'm 16 or close to 17. And I was go, I, they took me back to, into New York, we're doing press and they go, we have another meeting with Seventeen magazine. And I'm like, this is going to be it. Now they're going to put me in the magazine because I've lost £20 and I'm a little bit older and I look, I look good, I feel good. And I sat in that meeting and we went back and then we called and we're like, well, are they going to do it? And they went, yeah, they. They. They noticed that you looked better, but they still don't think you're the right fit for the magazine to put you in it.

[Lisa Whittle]

Wow.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And it's like, I mean, that shapes you.

[Lisa Whittle]

It does.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That shapes you. Things. Things like that. But, like, I'm 49 years old and I'm still talking about it.

[Lisa Whittle]

Still.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Because it.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It hurts so badly.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes. And, I mean, your story represents thousands of stories. Thousands, Candace.

[Listener]

I know.

[Lisa Whittle]

I mean, I remember one time I had a friend who told me. She said, oh, Lisa, I. We were going to go to the lake. And she was telling me, she said, I'm really excited to go to the lake with you. And I said, oh, I can't wait. We're going to have so much fun. And she said, yeah. She said, you know, I'm always going to the lake with friends that are skinnier than me. And she said, I'm really excited to go with you because I'll feel like I'll feel better. I'll feel okay. And it was almost like as soon as she said that, she wanted to reel it back in. Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

She realized what.

[Lisa Whittle]

She realized what she said. And of course, then she went into the whole thing of, like, you know, just because, like, we're kind of the same size and I'll feel better and all this, but the words were already out.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And, you know, it's just like I was talking to you in another show about how we're always scanning the room to see if we are the biggest or the thinnest in every room. As long as I'm not the biggest, I'm okay.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

But, boy, if I'm the biggest in every room, it's a problem.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Totally. And I'll. I will say the same thing, because even as I. As. As we're sharing and I just told my story about 17, I will have way more people, and this has been my whole life to say, but don't you realize, like, we were so happy that you were D.J. tanner and you were the same size as me or that you had cheeks or you just, you know, weren't stick thin? Because I felt like, oh, there's someone on TV that looks like me.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And so I hear that all of the time. And while as an adult, I am very, like. I am very grateful. I'm like, yeah, Lord, thank you for that. But there's still that part of me that it doesn't hurt any less that I'm still. I'm. It's. It's like a backhanded compliment and I hear it all the time. And still to this day they go, everyone does. Like you're so tiny in person. You just seem so much bigger on tv and we, you know, you just those cheeks and those this and the that and and I know that so many people mean it's so loving and n but I'm like, but it still just hits in a place that doesn't always feel good. I mean, now as a grown woman, I do take that differently, but it's like growing up my entire life, you want to hear the compliment in which they mean it by but the words were already said and you don't feel good. I don't know about you, but I love to colorfully mark up my Bible and Mr. Pen is the company dedicated to creating pens and highlighters specifically to be used in your Bible. How cute is this? The ink doesn't bleed through the page and there are so many color palettes to choose from paired with their other products like transparent sticky tape, sticky notes and tabs and washi tape and you can create the perfect combinations to make studying Scripture an even more meaningful experience. With over 1 million 5 star reviews on Amazon, they are the most popular Bible highlighters and pens on the market. That's why I use them. Whether you're looking to deepen your faith through study and reflection or or simply need a reliable pen for taking notes During a sermon, Mr. Penn has you covered. To get 10 off your first Mr. Pen order, go to Candacepens.com Join me in diving into the Word in 2025. Go to Candicepens.com to get 10% off your Mr. Penn order.

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

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[Lisa Whittle]

I have people that say to me all the time, I'm so grateful for a Bible teacher that is a normal weight. I have people that say this to me or I am so grateful for a Bible teacher who is not super thin because I can really relate to you. So it's the same kind of thing.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Totally.

[Lisa Whittle]

Although you've had it for so many more years because you've been a public presence and on tv and so I can't even imagine the, just how that has felt for you. But it is, it is one of those things where you say, you think to yourself, I know this person means that in the most gracious of ways, but I think the way I feel about this is I really want us to get away from commenting a lot about people's bodies in general. I actually have a. I'm a little dogmatic about this, so forgive me if I get off on a little bit of a rant, but I don't really like complimenting other people's bodies in general. And I went to this some years ago, actually before I even studied whole body theology. I thought there's something innately wrong about this. This, because what happens is when we get into a lot of compliments even, I mean, even if you're, even if somebody doesn't appear to be struggling with it, even if they have lost a lot of weight, say, and we say, oh, you know, you look so great and we notice it, there's something that hits inside of our brain. It's almost like a dopamine hit right where we hear that compliment and we're like, oh, see, I did need to lose weight. Oh see, I wasn't okay. The way I was. Oh, see, I do look better this way. And we get into this, this real toxic situation where we are, we are looking to get those compliments and we need more and more them. We need more and more hits. And so I really resist that. I really don't like that. I feel like, first of all, our outward appearance should be the least interesting thing about us. Honestly. Women are smart, we are capable, we are incredibly intuitive. We have so much going for us, and all we can do is say, girl, you are hot, or you're beautiful. Now, look, I will say this. I love my girlfriends, so I'll be like, girl, you're hot. I mean, I'll. Sometimes we'll do that. I am not legalistic about, about this.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm really not. And I, I get that sometimes we need a comment to say you look beautiful, you know, and so that's fine. Yeah, I might do that with you. But I think we need to be careful. I really, really, truly do. Especially if someone has lost weight. Especially if we're commenting on someone fluctuating in their weight. I just think that's really dangerous because I know when I was at the height of my eating disorder disorder, when people would comment on my weight, that was just like music to my ears. Keep telling me I look really good. I look really thin. It's toxic.

[Listener]

Totally.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's so toxic. And I mean, all the things that you said, I'm like, yes, and I'm super guilty of doing all of those things. I mean, I have my little group of friends that we know that we joke in a way that we absolutely shouldn't because we're like. But we know that we're not, like, healthy about it all the time. So it's a little bit of a joke.

[Lisa Whittle]

Should I push you right now or not?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Girl, you look so good. You lost whatever and you like. And it is, it's like the dopamine hit. But we do it. It's like for fun and, but it does, it feels good. And then. And yet those are like, close people in my life where I can, how we have fun with it. But for the most part, it's true. Like, I, I, I don't always like receiving the compliment from people I don't know well or, you know, I remember I, I was at work, and again, I was, I was actually going through a harder time. I was just having trouble with our marriage, and we were just going through some things, and I just lost, I lost probably six or seven pounds, but that's a Lot of weight on me. And I came back the next season when we were doing Fuller House, and everyone was like, you look amazing. You look amazing. Oh, my gosh. What did you do? What are you doing? How did you lose the weight? Well, the thing was, I. I actually wasn't trying to lose weight. I was just going through rough stuff, and I was depressed and. And just. I lost my appetite because everything. I was so stressed out. So then when I'm getting compliments on losing weight, and it's probably, like, the one time in my life where it did not feel like a compliment.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And then they're like, what are you eating? What are you doing? How are you working out? And I'm just like, shut up. Yeah, shut up. Because this. You're. You're actually not making me feel good. And. Yeah, I. And I. I. You know, with people in especially. You were saying, like, fluctuating weight and all of that. Like, I've been on those journeys with my friends, and it's just like, we gotta figure out. Because I love complimenting, but it doesn't have to be about the body. It just, you know. But can we compliment your clothing? Can we compliment something, like, else that just doesn't have to do with your weight or, like your haircut or your. Or. I mean, because I do like complimenting the physical, but I don't always want it. I don't want it to be about the weight. And I don't like thinking that people don't think they're beautiful at whatever weight they're at.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right. Yeah. And I mean, this is hard for me. I'm just being honest. This is really hard for me because I also like complimenting. I also like compliments.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

I want you to tell me I look beautiful.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Words of affirmation or it's my love language.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right. So now everyone who sees me, they're going to be like, you look cool. They're not going to want to call me. Yeah. So, I mean, no, I mean, I get it, and I really do want it and all of those things, but we've got to get to the core of this, though. Remember, we're talking about wanting freedom. We're talking about being exhausted. We're talking about all the things. This is the reality of what we're living, Candace. And we have to say, okay, do I want compliments more than I want to be free? Like, all of these kinds of things. Like, we've gotten compliments all of our life. Every time we've lost 20 pounds, we've gotten compliments and at the end of the day, that constant desire to be fed those kinds of things that make us feel good for a few moments, it's not led us to the body freedom that we want. And so, again, this is not about legalism, because there's two extremes. There's this idea of liberalism and legalism. And so both are extremes and both are taking it too far. So you can be very liberal with the way that you do things, very legalistic with the way you do things, and so you get into the. The idea of everything is permissible where it talks about Paul in the scriptures, but not everything is profitable.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay, Right. So not everything beneficial.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right. Not everything is beneficial. Profitable. Whatever. Whatever. Translation. Looking at. So. So the reality is that if you've got, especially if you've got someone in your life that, you know, has struggled with an eating disorder, you know, that they're, you know, they're someone who has thrived off of believing that they were what they looked like then, it's really important to break from just constantly commenting on what they look like on the outside. And I think that's really important.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So how are. How can, how can we be a better friend and how do we help people learn that kind of behavior? Because I feel like that's one place for social media. I wish you weren't allowed to say those things.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

When people are like, you've lost too much weight. You need to eat a sandwich. What. What have you. You know, looks like you've. I mean, someone just said, like, time for wrinkle cream. And I'm just like, shut up.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah, be quiet.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I get. It's so. But how do we be a better friend and how do we teach people that we might not be super close to. Hey, it actually, like, doesn't benefit for those types of comments.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. I mean, I think that it is getting into a different habit. It really is. It's. We don't have to overcomplicate this.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

I don't want to objectify you as a woman. I really don't. And I know that we. We might think, oh, Lisa, that's a little silly, but really, if you think about what we're doing, in a way, it really is that we are so much more. We are body and soul. We are a whole person.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

I love that God made you as a gorgeous woman. I look at you, and you are beautiful to look at. But there's so much more to Candice. There's so much more to you. And so I really want to hone in on that. Because I want you to know that to the core of your being, I feel like it is robbing you if I just sit here and go, girl, you got beautiful eyes. You got beautiful hair. You gotta be like, I love fashion, and I love, love makeup, and I love eye color. And I mean, I'm an artist at heart. Like, I'm a creative. I am just a sloppy creative. You know, I love to just. I love all of it. But, like, I love who God made women to be. So I just. I just know there's a mind in there that's just much more fascinating to me than how beautiful your lips are. You know what I mean? And so it's weird because I feel like God has been working out whole body theology in me in ways that I would say way too ignorant to realize for a long time. And I think for a lot of us, that's true. When Shay was little, she was the most gorgeous child. Like, she had. Her hair was incredible. It's just this. She had this mane of hair that was wildly curly and just, I mean, gorgeous and hair that I don't have. And she was this teeny, tiny little thing with this big mane of hair. And everyone would stop me and they'd say, you need to put her in pageants. Like, she would win every single pageant.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And there was something within me, and I thought she would. She. She would. She would win all these pageants. Of course, every mother thinks that. But, I mean, I. I mean, I was like, I think she probably would, but there was something within me, Candace, that stopped me. And I thought, what if I teach her? That's. That's. That's all she is. I'm not shaming anybody that does that. But for me, I just thought, I want her to know that she's. There's more there. And so I think that it's just important that. Let's not get weirdly legalistic about this. If you want to compliment your girlfriend, that's great, but I think just being careful to not point out, like, you've lost weight, your body looks good, you know, all of those things. But just to say, girl, you're beautiful. I love you.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm so glad you're my friend. Follow it up with affirmations that talk about the whole person that she is and not honing in on weight.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Or your body looks good. Compliment your body goals if you want to. If you are telling me you want to get guns, then I might be like, girl, I see that you. You got those guns you're working towards. That's awesome. But I. What would hurt me so much is to know that I have fed into something that has robbed life from you. I don't want to do that to you.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Like, I love you too much. You're my sister. So I don't want to feed into something that's taken life from you, taking years of your life from you. And so I just take that really seriously. Now, I'm probably going to still tell you you look cute because you cute, but I just want to talk to you and say, like, I love you. You're a smart woman. You work hard. That's. I'm going to lead with that.

[Listener]

That. Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Because there's just. You're so multifaceted, and that's just a. That is a glory mentality. That is a do all things to the glory of God. I just feel like if Jesus would. Would want me to tell you things, it'll be far more about your whole beauty than it would be about.

[Listener]

Absolutely.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I mean, when you just said those and you were just saying it as an example, I mean, it got emotional when. When anyone speaks to your soul, to your heart. That is so much more powerful and meaningful to me than like, oh, you're so beautiful and you're whatever. All of those.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. And I mean, if you've ever met somebody that. That, like, the glory of the Lord shines through them all of a sudden, like, they are the most gorgeous person in the room. They are. You don't care if they're what size they. They are.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

No.

[Lisa Whittle]

You don't go like, oh, they're. They're kind of big, or they're, you know, or they're too skinny or, you know, they're. They look a certain way or their nose is that you do not care. You say, that woman is gorgeous.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Because the presence of God is oozing out of them. Like, I've met people like that, and that is the only person in the room that I want to talk to.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

The only person. And that is. That is the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that you are drawn to in a way that you cannot explain. Candace, I have lived my life wanting to be pretty, wanting to be thin, wanting to be hot, wanting to be noticed. That's not my goal anymore. I want people to see the presence of God in a powerful way. Where they say, I want Jesus.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Like, I want him. And that's shifted for me. Yeah, that's just shifted for me. I've been through traumas in my Body. I have seen far too much. I have been exposed to a lot of things. I've had relationships where I was not treated well. And the one who has saved my soul from that is the one who experienced pain in his body. For me, when Jesus died, it's medically known fact that he died of a broken heart, because when the. The Roman soldier thrust the spear into his side, it burst the pericardium, which was the watery sack where blood and water flowed out of. That is the ultimate intermingling of body and soul. Because he was wounded by his friends and the rejection, and he was wounded by his wounds. And so when it talks about by his wounds, we are healed. In the book of Isaiah, we are healed from our body traumas, from the wounds that he took on his body for us. Now, if that does not change the way that we are able to heal from all the things we've witnessed, from all of our. The criticisms, from all of the things that have happened to us in our body, then there's no hope. But if that changes us in some way, then we all have hope for every single traumatic experience that we've had in our entire lives.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And that is what has changed my life.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Amen. I mean, just sit on that, guys. Just like, seriously rewind and listen to this. This all over again. I mean, just what you just said, it's just I'm. I'm in tears because it's. Because it truly is so powerful and it's life changing, and it's the only place where freedom comes, the only place.

[Lisa Whittle]

We can talk about body topics. We will talk about body talks. Let's talk about all of the things. Let's talk about exercise. Let's talk about food. Let's talk about magnesium. Let's talk about. About being hydrated. But I. I know that those things have never saved me or helped me move into a place of health. Ultimately, they've made my body healthier. Sure, let's get rest. But there has to be a foundation for all of that, or else we are decorating walls of a house with no foundation.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Sticky notes all over mirrors of affirmations and whatever. But what's the whole picture? That's. That's it.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

That's the thing we, most of us have been missing.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Whole body theology.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, it's so good.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay, we're gonna go to a listener question.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

This one is from Eliana, and she asks, what advice would you give young women who are struggling with body positivity but simultaneously are finding it Difficult to stay consistent with diet, a diet and exercise routine, and feel like they're stuck in an endless loop. I mean, it's everything that we're talking about. I think, like, a lot of the questions that you guys. Thank you so much for writing in, by the way. Whether it was through instagram [e-mail] so many of you wrote questions. But I will say that there's been a theme that even though the spirit specifics may be different, the overall theme is very much the same from so many people.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. We're going to talk about body positivity in another show, which will be exciting because I think there's. There's a lot to learn about the difference between body positivity and whole body theology, which is not the same thing.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

I think what's interesting is it's a lot of it has to do with motive because body positivity is. Anytime culture sort of picks up on something that's. That may have great elements to it, but it's not the same as something being rooted in the Bible.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And so I like a lot of inspirational messages. I think some of them are great. I think a lot of them are great. But the Bible is different because the Bible is the word of God, and the word of God does not return void. It is living and active. So it's different from when it comes from our minds or thoughts, where we might put some great thoughts out there, but falls flat. Right.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

So I think, I think that is important to note that we can be encouraged, we can learn great things from experts out there, but we've gotta have that theological base. And so I think it's really important.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay.

[Lisa Whittle]

Well, like, I'm a broken record, but we are going back to the Word and that's. We're never gonna go wrong.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That's the only way it's gonna change us.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Because. Yeah, I'm. I'm. Okay, we gotta. We gotta save it for the next episode.

[Lisa Whittle]

So.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm sorry, Eliana, maybe I should have just saved your question for the next. Next one because. Yeah, I, I have things to say about body positivity too, and that whole movement that I, I don't. I don't have as many positive things to say about the body positivity movement.

[Lisa Whittle]

Agreed.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And some might be, you know, rooted in from bad places, but also like. But where, where my shift is is that, like, it needs to be rooted in the word of God and what God says about us. Us. Not just like, oh, I look so good and I'm gonna embrace whatever and not. I'm just not into it.

[Lisa Whittle]

No.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So and we're not saying that this is what you were talking about, but I get it. It's hard. We wanna feel good. We have trouble staying consistent with our diet and exercise. This is what your question was about. But wait till the next Is it the next episode we're talking about?

[Lisa Whittle]

I think it is.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Or just keep coming back. Keep coming back because we're gonna address all of these things. And and I just want to say thanks for joining us again. We have talked through some heavy stuff today and if you're looking for more encouragement, grab the free whole body [e-mail] or it's also in the notes. Lisa's body and soul Bible study book also walks through themes from this episode and I highly suggest that you go grab it and do it along with us. If you have a question about something going on in your life, you can ask. Ask that [e-mail] join us next week. Until next time, Be grateful all day, every day.

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

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