What Does Going to Church Have To Do With Your Body?? - Lisa Whittle

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Episode: What Does Going to Church Have To Do With Your Body?? - Lisa Whittle
Release Date: September 16, 2025
Host: Candace Cameron Bure
Guest: Lisa Whittle

This episode delves into the relationship between Christian community, spiritual gifts, and the tangible impact of church involvement and mutual support on the physical and emotional well-being of women. Candace and Lisa explore the biblical idea of the “body of Christ,” how social and cultural expectations drive women to do it all, the dangers of burnout, the challenges of asking for help, and the importance of friendship and support—both in faith communities and in everyday life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mom Guilt, Hospitality, and Spiritual Gifts

(03:32–08:08)

• Candid conversation about never being “room moms” and the corresponding guilt.
• Both Lisa and Candace discuss how their daughters noticed their lack of “room-momminess”—but their sons didn’t care.
• They discuss spiritual gifts, with Lisa noting hospitality isn’t high for either of them, and describing how she and her husband complement each other when entertaining.
• Discussion on the importance of knowing one's spiritual gifts to function well in the church community.

“We maybe have never known our spiritual gift. And that's really important... the way that we're gifted is a spiritual endowment.” — Lisa Whittle [08:26]

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2. Overwhelm, Burnout, and Delegating Help

(10:36–15:13)

• Modern women are told they need to have and do it all; social media amplifies the pressure.
• The biblical model is a “whole body theology”—different members with different gifts.
• Discussion about burnout from over-functioning, guilt from not doing enough, and the freeing reality that we’re not meant to do everything.

“You don’t have to be all the things and do all of the things, getting burnt out… someone ends up unhappy or you're unhappy or overwhelmed or frustrated and all of that.” — Candace Cameron Bure [13:41]

• Both share how learning to delegate was a process; Candace discusses getting her first assistant and how hard that was to accept.

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3. Pride and the Challenge of Receiving Help

(16:30–19:13)

• Lisa shares her struggle with receiving prayer and help, even from friends, realizing her comfort in being the strong one made it hard to accept care.

“You need to work on receiving.” — Lisa Whittle, quoting God in a moment of conviction [18:12]

• Discussion on why women struggle to ask for help: feelings of being a burden, not being worthy, or perceiving their problems as insignificant.

“If I ask someone else for help, then I'm going to burden them in some way.” — Lisa Whittle [19:14]

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4. Burnout Hitting the Body: Real-Life Stories

(22:30–28:14)

• Common burnout symptoms: Candace notes she gets physically sick when she’s overdoing it.
• Behind-the-scenes of Candace’s overwork—flying back and forth between The View (in NYC) and Fuller House (in LA), and how it physically broke her down.
• Emotional story of her husband helping her get back home when she mentally and physically broke down in Central Park.

“Oh, it brings me to tears. I've never been cared for in that way... he just picked up all the pieces and got me where I needed to go, which was home.” — Candace Cameron Bure [27:27]

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5. The Biblical Case for Limits and the Role of the Church

(32:09–36:43)

• Lisa and Candace reflect on what happens when Christian women internalize the message that they should be “enough” for everything—leading to exhaustion.
• Lisa stresses the Bible doesn’t teach we are meant to do it all ourselves: “We were never meant to be enough. That's actually a really freeing message.”
• Drawing from the animal kingdom, Lisa expounds how certain creatures naturally divide tasks for survival and well-being, echoing how the church body is to function (meerkats, elephants, fish examples).
• The eye-opening perspective: sometimes stepping back allows others to step in and God to work through them.

“I found the profound limitlessness in my limitedness through that verse.” — Lisa Whittle [34:17], referring to “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

“The world didn’t stop revolving… there isn’t a problem that’s so big that other people can’t solve or it can’t be fixed. And it’s not to say that you're replaceable… but you don’t have to do everything.” — Candace Cameron Bure [35:34]

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6. Friendship, Community & Seeking Support

(40:58–46:33)

• Listeners ask about finding friends and community—Lisa and Candace discuss the real struggles of adult friendship, putting oneself out there, and the benefit of persistence.
• Practical ideas: joining community events, leagues, church ministries, and being vulnerable enough to walk into spaces alone.
• Acknowledgment that online support is valuable if in-person support isn’t available.

“It might take some time... But I think you can find community if you really find it.” — Candace Cameron Bure [46:05]

“The animal kingdom... does things in order to increase their quality of living, their chance of survival, and to make life easier on themselves… but we don’t really do things like that.” — Lisa Whittle [39:20]

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7. Modesty, Parenting, and Guidance

(47:22–48:27)

• Parental guidance in areas like modesty and holiness: both are adamant that parents must teach and guide their children, rather than waiting for them to discover these principles independently.

“I think we have to guide our kids.” — Lisa Whittle [47:45]

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8. Healthy Habits & Go-To Meals

(48:27–50:50)

• At listener request, both share their favorite easy healthy meals.
  • Lisa: Simple baked or pan-cooked salmon.
  • Candace: Her “Covid salad,” a finely chopped, almost-all-green salad created during filming quarantine—arugula, cucumber, fennel, green onion, avocado, pumpkin seeds, with a homemade vinaigrette.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On gifting in community:
  “Being in alignment with what you are spiritually gifted to do is super important. It has helped me determine a lot of my yeses and no’s so that I don’t have a lot of work overwhelm.” — Lisa Whittle [09:11]

• On mom guilt:
  “My boys didn’t really say much about it. I would volunteer on occasion, but never a room mom… But Natasha noticed it all the time because she'd be like, I love Jessica’s mom and she's the room mom.” — Candace Cameron Bure [04:30]

• On learning to delegate:
  “To get my very first assistant, which was about 10 years ago, that was really hard for me. Because I was like, wait, but I can do all those things.” — Candace Cameron Bure [15:09]

• On being forced to rest:
  “God’s like, I need you to slow down and get some rest.” — Candace Cameron Bure [22:34]

• On asking for help:
  “There’s an expectation that we’re going to owe someone or just a discomfort there.” — Lisa Whittle [19:13]

• On feeling replaceable vs. letting go:
  “It's not to say that you're replaceable… but you don’t have to do everything.” — Candace Cameron Bure [35:34]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Mom Guilt & Hospitality — 03:32–08:08
• Understanding Spiritual Gifts — 08:12–10:36
• Overwork, Burnout, and Delegation — 10:36–15:13
• Asking for Help & Barriers to Receiving — 16:30–19:36
• Candace’s Burnout Story — 22:30–28:23
• Limits, Biblical Balance, and Church Community — 32:09–36:43
• Friendship and Building Community — 40:58–46:33
• Parenting Guidance on Modesty — 47:22–48:27
• Favorite Healthy Meals — 48:27–50:50

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The tone is honest, warm, and encouraging—full of humorous asides and earnest self-reflection. Both women stress growth, vulnerability, and the necessity of functioning in community rather than isolation. Listeners are invited to let go of the “do it all” myth, identify their own strengths, and step into relationships (in church, family, or friendship) with honesty about both their limits and their gifts.

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Transcript

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Hey really quick. Before today's episode, I am going live on Tour for the first time this fall, November 20th through the 23rd in four cities. We will have fun and games, audience questions, full house trivia, real talk about women's health and fitness and more. Get [e-mail] tour oh it brings me to tears. I've never been cared for in that way. Like my husband's such a good caretaker. I've never felt more loved from him and I felt. I've felt so much love from him in our 29 years of marriage. But in that moment he just picked up all the pieces and got me where I needed to go, which was home. When it comes to healthcare, it can feel overwhelming and expensive, but we share really simplifies it. It's the simplest non reimbursement health share on the market and it's built around people helping people with weshare members share in each other's medical costs in a faith based community that focuses on four important cost, network, community and freedom. And just for listening, Weshare is waiving the $149 application fee. So don't wait. Get your free non obligation quote [e-mail] candice or call 855-230-2523. That's 855-230-2523. As the days get shorter and the air turns crisp, there is nothing better than coming home to a cozy spot that feels like a warm hug. That's exactly what Cozy Earth's bamboo sheets and bubble Cuddle blanket bring to your home this fall. They are so soft and comforting and you'll want to stay wrapped in them all morning. Their they're temperature regulating, made from bamboo viscose that naturally wicks away heat and moisture so even as the weather changes, you stay perfectly comfortable through the night. And the Bubble Cuddle blanket. It is plush, it's warm, it's big, it's heavy. It is beautiful with a textured design that is perfect for snuggling up by the fire or with a good book. You can try Cozy Earth's risk free with their 100 night sleep trial plus a 10 year warranty to keep you cozy for years. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code CCB for 40% off. And if you get a post purchase survey, make sure that you let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here. Because this fall your bed should be more than a place to sleep, it should be your happy cozy place. Cozy Earth makes that possible. Life is like a roller Coaster. But it's better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Burry Podcast. We share open and hopeful conversations about life's challenges, celebrations, and everything in between. Lisa and I are talking about the power of the church and how the body of Christ can help your body heal on YouTube. Click below to subscribe, then tap the bell to get notified when we drop new videos. Come join us. Hi, Lisa.

[Lisa Whittle]

Hi.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I have been loving our conversations. I always want to know because you have three kids. I have three kids. They're roughly the same ages.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

All in their 20s now.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yep.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You do have one married, right?

[Lisa Whittle]

One married.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay, one married. So do I. One married. But this always tells me a lot about a person's personality.

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm scared. What kind.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Were you ever a room mom or what kind of like school mom were you when they were in elementary school?

[Lisa Whittle]

What a good question. This is gonna expose me.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay. No, not a room mom.

[Lisa Whittle]

And do you know, one time my daughter said to me, now the boys, my two oldest are boys, never did they say this to me. Well, one time my daughter said to me, mom, I wish you were the room mom. And I never was. Were you? No. Oh, yay. Okay. I feel suddenly better. Okay.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's. It is so funny because it's the same thing. My boys didn't really say much about it. I would volunteer on occasion, but never a room mom. And but Natasha noticed it all the time because she'd be like, I love. I love Jessica's mom and she's the room mom. And she's so crafty and she brings this jeans, brings that. And I'm like, let me go to the grocery store and pick up the pre baked, Whatever.

[Lisa Whittle]

Exactly.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And bring it in. And I like, I love children. And I, But I'm, I just was never the room mom.

[Lisa Whittle]

I couldn't get it together. Listen, I had my second son trained to sign up for paper plates or the cups.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes.

[Lisa Whittle]

And so he, he got to the point where he would race. When they would put the sign up sheet out, he would race to it. So he would be like, that's so funny, Lisa Whittle. He would sign up next week. The reason why is because one time he signed me up to make flan. Flan, of all things? Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Was it like, was it culture?

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes. It was like cultural day. And he signed me to make flan. And he came home and he said, mom, I've signed you up to make something. I said, oh, great. What was it? What is it? And he said, flan. I Said what? So I literally was like, okay, let me pull out a recipe book or whatever. I. I could not believe. And so I said, son, from now on, it's paper products. That's what you're signing me up for. True story. So he learned his lesson. So every. Every time after then Lisa Whittle next to any paper products.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, yeah. Totally tells me so much about a person.

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm just grateful you didn't say, oh, yes, I was the room mom for.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So many, you know, and I wasn't working either. It's not like I couldn't have been the room. I mean, my kids were my full time job. And aside from Bible study at house and then playing tennis and having lunch with the ladies, that was about it. So I could have. But it's just. I don't know. That was never my strength. And I'm so grateful for the women who love being room moms. I'm like, yes, you do that. And I was just. I'm good at delegating, like, supporting. But yeah, couldn't.

[Lisa Whittle]

I don't know, they probably had the gift of hospitality.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes.

[Lisa Whittle]

And that is not one of my spiritual gifts. It isn't. I score so low in hospitality. I mean, I'm almost off the charts.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So funny. I don't know that hospitality is high on my list either. Although we host and entertain a lot. But Val and I are a really good team. And so he. Because he sets up beautifully, he cooks, he picks out the flowers, he arranges the flowers, he does all of that kind of stuff. And I can do it. Of course, he does it much better than I do. And then I'm the one. I feel like I'm the swizzle stick. So I'm good at. When people come in, I buzz around to make sure everyone's talking, everyone's meeting, start up some conversations just to make sure people don't feel like they're alone or they don't, you know, or they're just in a conversation. And so I like being the swizzle stick. And I love having people over. I love that. But I don't know that the gift of hospitality is high on my. What am I saying? Like, on my list of attributes.

[Lisa Whittle]

So here's a question for you. Do you know what your spiritual gifts are?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Not offhand, but I've done several. Like, we do one in our company, the strength finders test, we've done that. Like all our employees, we do that. So I know what some of those are. But spiritual gifts, you know, like, lead me through them.

[Lisa Whittle]

What's interesting about our spiritual gifts is a lot of us take, you know, personality tests, but we maybe have never known our spiritual gift. And that's really important because the way that we're gifted is a spiritual endowment. And it's super important in the way that we operate in the body of Christ. So a lot of us maybe have never understood that, but everybody has at least one, right?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

My friend Aaron, she has a gift, the gift of discernment. She would say, yes, that that is her spiritual gift. And I'm like, how do you know? And then she'll be like, because God. I just know. Like, God gives me that gift. I'm very good at discernment. So how would I find. Figure out what my.

[Lisa Whittle]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Okay, I'm test. Yeah, no, it's. No, it's. It's really exciting because a lot of people don't know what theirs are. A lot of people. But I've been on this, especially after writing this study, I really pressed in with a lot of my friends and said, do you know what yours. Do you know what your gifts are? I actually made my whole family test because I wanted to know what everybody's spiritual gift was. It made perfect sense. And I actually retested myself because I wanted to know, like, what are my gifts? Making sure they were what I thought they were, because I think it's very important, even for work, your work. There are many things that throughout my life, especially as I've gone on in my ministry and career, that are great opportunities that I could say yes to. But being in alignment with what you are spiritually gifted to do is super important. It has helped me determine a lot of my yeses and no's so that I don't have a lot of work overwhelm. Because when I'm operating in my spiritual gifts set, there's just such a sweet spot there. It makes perfect sense for what I'm doing because that's how God has gifted me. And the. The whole point of the body of Christ is to work together. The body helps our body not experience the overwhelm. So we talked in earlier show.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, and that's what we're talking about, by the way, on the show today.

[Lisa Whittle]

I didn't say that, but yes, we talked in an earlier show about the overwhelm. It was. I believe it was in the first show about how we are exhausted. We are always constantly about talking about how we want rest. We need rest so desperately. And I think a lot of that does come from maybe a packed schedule and all of that. We talked about the fact a lot of it comes from mental exhaustion. Yeah. Because we have so much information overload, especially regarding our bodies. But I think another element of it is we are being constantly told by secular culture, you must do everything. You must be good at everything. You must have your hand in everything. Social media has blown that up in a big way because we're constantly looking at things on social media and saying, oh, yeah, I've also got to do that, and I need to keep up with that body or not. We're just seeing so many things that we feel like we should also be doing. That is not biblical. If you have a whole body theology, you understand that the body of Christ was created in with parts. Different body parts, different functions. I'm not good at everything, Candace.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

You aren't either. You aren't gifted in every way. You and I weren't probably meant to be a room mom because that's. We're not high on hospitality. Right. So rather than spending our life feeling guilty about that, which I've. I've had plenty of mom guilt over that, that needs to be a release that we understand we're not supposed to. That's not really our territory. And that's not to say you never should push yourself to do something that you're not naturally good at, but it's not to spend your life saying, I really should do this other thing over here. Well, what if you're not really gifted to do it?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

No, you really probably shouldn't. You should let someone who really is gifted to do it. Jessica's mom, who really is good at, like, doing all the little pencils and all the things. Let her rock it out. Yeah, she's gifted to do it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

But what we. What we're talking about here today is the absolute overwhelm we have in our bodies from not understanding this biblical principle. Because you know what happens? We as women will allow our bodies to be completely broken down before we ever ask for help. So, for instance, we will allow our bodies to just keep going, keep going and going before we'll ever take a nap, before we'll ever ask for help with our kids. I mean, here's the thing. We might need help with someone picking up our kids from carpool, but we will actually offer to pick up someone else else's kids from carpool before we'll even ask someone to help pick up our kids. Because why? Well, we don't want to ask for help. Yeah. And we Will overwork. Do you, Candace, have a problem with anything that I'm talking about?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I. Sure. I've gotten really good at delegating, though.

[Lisa Whittle]

Okay.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I have. Over the years. And, yeah, there's, there's. When there's a pressure that I feel that, like, I should be good at that. I should be good at that. And you kind of push yourself to, to, you know, you're like, it's fitting a square peg in a round hole. It's like, you know, you, you don't have to be all the things and do all of the things, getting burnt out. There's been major times in my life, especially when I had gone back to work when my kids were a little bit older, and then trying to balance all of that and having a really hard time saying no, especially to the things that you want to say yes to. But then you know that the more practical or the emotional things that you should be saying yes to versus the things you want to say yes to, like, you have to say no to one of them. And it's like, how do I choose which one? And can I just. So you want to try to do everything, and someone ends up unhappy or you're unhappy or overwhelmed or frustrated and all of that. But I think in the last, probably 10 or 15 years, when I started my company and, you know, I have a, I have a team, I have employees. I have people that work for me that. To get my very first assistant, which was about 10 years ago, that was really hard for me.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Because I was like, wait, but I can do all those things. I don't, I'm fine at doing that, but yet more and more things were on my plate, and it's like, no, it's time. It's time you learn how to delegate. And I learned it more in business than with my family, with my kids, as a mom.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

What about you?

[Lisa Whittle]

I, I, I mean, same in many regards. I didn't have an assistant until I was in my 40s. I thought I could just do it all myself. I think for me, there was. It was a matter of financials, too. I thought, you know, I don't, I don't want or I don't need or I can't pay someone to do that. And I think a lot of women are in that space where they would love to have some help, but they, they, they maybe feel like they don't have the money to do that. They don't have the money to do that. That's. That's real. And so we can get Very inventive. In some ways, it's kind of cool, you know, because we. We can do a lot of things ourselves. So I'm a big proponent in women learning to do things ourselves. It's made me a very creative person in that. In that sense. But I also think there's a lot of pride involved, too. It's like I don't want to reach out and ask for help, you know? There was a period in my life, Candace, where the Lord really convicted me about even allowing people to pray for me. Because there was.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That surprises me.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. No, there was, because I really felt like I like to be in a position of strength. It's a comfort place for me. Okay. Because I do operate in that way. Well, like, that's a way God has gifted me to be a strong person in people's life. And so I'm not playing a role there. I feel very comfortable there. I'm terrible at a lot of things, but I am good in a strength position. So for me, I like to pray over people. I like to pray for people. So I remember I was asked to be on a weekend retreat with a group of speakers. I actually didn't know any of them except for one. And so already that was vulnerable for me because I. I just. I don't usually like to be in spaces like that. Safety again.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Trust. Like, I don't know them, so. But I was there, and I remember I had already made my exit plan. I was going to go ahead and leave before everyone else. And so I went there. We had the weekend together, and we were getting ready to leave, and. Or I was getting ready to leave, but everyone was sitting in the living room. We've been doing like a kind of a, you know, just a chat time. And so I said, okay, guys, you know, I'm getting ready to leave. It's been great. And I'd love to pray over you guys before I go. And so they were like, oh, yeah, that'd be great. And so I prayed over everybody, and I was getting ready to go out the door, and one woman, there was a snag in my plan. She said, I would love to pray over you. And I said, oh, okay, yeah, great. Because I didn't want to be rude, obviously.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Sure.

[Lisa Whittle]

But I was so uncomfortable, and. Because this was not a part of my plan. And so everyone was like, yeah, yeah, we want to pray over you. And so then they all were praying over me suddenly, and I was so uncomfortable. And I got in the car to go home, and the Lord spoke to Me. And he said, you need to work on receiving. And I just really. I just really dealt with that for like an hour and a half on the way home. Like, what is this that I can't receive? And I. I can't even receive prayer from someone. And I don't know whether. I don't know whether it was a pride issue. I don't know whether it was a. Just uncomfortable being uncomfortable. I don't know.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

But, you know, it's great to be a giver, but it's also important to receive because I think a lot of us in many ways feel like that there's. There's an expectation that we're going to owe someone or just a discomfort there. Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Or that you're being a burden in some way.

[Lisa Whittle]

You're being a burden. And women have this weird thing about it. If I ask someone else for help, then I'm going to burden them in some way. And honestly, Candace, I don't think we even know what our limits are. Yeah. Very many times. I mean, what happens when you reach a limit? Do you recognize it in yourself?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It was, you know, it was with a friend of mine, and she was going through a really hard time, and so much so that she. She didn't want to talk or share about anything. She was really becoming reclusive. And I kept pushing and I. She. She shared some things with me. And I said, thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for sharing me with me. I think you need to share with someone. And I met. Was it very trusted. I very trusted friend. And. And she just kept saying, you know, I feel like it's just not anyone else's problem. And I feel like I'm just adding on and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. And I. It just makes me feel even worse about myself that I have to. Would share any of my problems. I can just talk to God about it. Even though she was very much struggling with it all, like, but that's what community's for. And I said, that's what I'm here for. And I said, I want you to think of it from this perspective, like. Like you're actually denying the work of God's hands and feet. The people that want to pray for you, the people that want that love you so much, like, we are. We are to do that for you. And I know it can be scary. I'm not saying announce your problems on a public platform, but to share with one person, with two people that you trust is not a burden. Allows me to do what I can do for you when I know I can't tangibly fix anything for you, but that I can be praying for you and asking God to be in, like, over the things that you're going through, that allow that, just that make. Actually makes me feel good. And I'm not trying to be selfish about it, but please ask for. Please ask for it.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah. Why do you think we don't ask for help more often? I mean, really and truly, is it. Is it that we are afraid? Is it that we don't. We're.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

We are for a multitude of reasons.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I think it. One, it can just feel weak. It can. And. And who wants to be weak? Especially from someone when strength is your go to. Your. Your go to. No one wants to feel like they're weak. And I think, again, feeling like a burden, like my problem isn't big enough to share. Other people have bigger problems I don't want to add to someone. I'm just becoming another burden. I think it can come from not feeling worthy enough, that, yeah, they're. They're bigger things in the world to have to. I'm not worthy of sharing the things I need help with. There are a lot of reasons.

[Lisa Whittle]

How do you know when you're trying to do everything?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I've had some really clear signs in my life when I've burnt out, and a lot of times I just get sick. I get run down. So that's like the. That's the easy sign. God's like, I need you to slow down and get some rest.

[Lisa Whittle]

I mean, let me just say it this way, because when I, like when I see you, even on social media, you're always filming a movie.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm always filming a movie, and I'm always on my personal airplane.

[Lisa Whittle]

Okay? So people from the outside might say, candace works all the time. Is that fair? Is that not fair? Have you adjusted your life to that? Am I getting in your business right now?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You're looking at me like, don't get.

[Lisa Whittle]

In my business, Lisa.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I work a lot, and I really enjoy it, but I am prone to overworking. However, in the last few years, with the help of my husband, we've found much better balance in our life. And I recognize how unhealthy my work has been at times in my life, because I do. I want it. It's. I want to do all the things, and I think that's part of the issue. It's not even that I'm afraid to say no or I'm not allowing people to help me it's that I genuinely want to do all of these things, but that has created very unhealthy balances for my marriage and with my children. And so that's why. That's why, as horrible as the pandemic was, yeah, it was the best thing that could have happened to me because it literally shut me down. It shut us all down.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But then I had to take inventory of the things that were most meaningful and what actually mattered in my life and recognize like, oh, I'm missing out on all of these things. I'm. I don't have a balance. I've lost some relationship with my children or my husband because of all the things that I'm doing. So. So now I very much recognize it. But I have to schedule my time. So do I work really? Do I work a lot? I do, except that. And you can ask my team, you can ask my assistant or anyone that works with me or my husband is that I am precious about my time and I schedule it out. Like, I'm not working these three days. I will be with my husband and unless there's an emergency, it can wait until Tuesday.

[Lisa Whittle]

Did. So did. Did any of the burnout play into any of the reason why you left the View?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. So we kind of talked about that in. Was it the last. Last week? We talked about it, yeah. And talk about the body, keep score. I mean, that's what we were talking about. But. But I had. There was such burnout because when I was doing that show, I was living in Los Angeles but working in New York. So I was flying every single week on a Sunday night to do the show live. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, fly home Friday, back to la, spend Saturday with my family and get on a plane again Sunday afternoon. So for two years I did that and then was also filming Fuller House on the second year. So then I was doing on my hiatus weeks, which means the weeks that I'm not filming on Full House. I was flying to New York, doing the show, and I didn't realize the toll that it had taken not only on my body, but my mental, you know, clarity and all of that kind of stuff. So, yeah, I got to the point where that last day on the show, I was walking through Central park back to my apartment, and I couldn't take another step. My body broke. I. I could. It was again, was another very out of body experience, but it was a. It was more of a traumatic response to some. Just so many feelings and emotions that had gone through me. And I Had. Had. I called my husband on the phone. I'm like, I'm in the park and I can't. I can't. I don't. Like, I don't know what's happening to me. He was like, sit down, sit down. Am I calling an ambulance? Am I calling the police? Like, what. What am I doing? And I'm like, I don't know. And he goes, just sit there and wait and, you know, I'll get back on the phone with you. Just don't move. So I did. He called me back. He said, I've got an airplane ticket for you. You're getting on a flight. It leaves in four hours. I've called an Uber. They're gonna come pick you up. And can you walk to your apartment? And I said, I think I can. I think I can make it. And anyway, yeah, he. I got in that car eventually. I got on that flight. I've never. Oh, it brings me to tears. I've never been cared for in that way. Like, my husband's such a good caretaker. I've never felt more loved from him. And I felt. I've felt so much love from him in our 29 years of marriage. But in that moment that felt like, you know, you talk about a ride or die, and it was like, that was it, man. He just picked up all the pieces and got me where I needed to go, which was home.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And got me in my bed where I didn't get out for two weeks. You know, it was. It was just a lot. And so what were we even talking about?

[Lisa Whittle]

I don't even care. Because I'm like, who cares?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

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[Lisa Whittle]

What's really crucial that people are hearing is, you know, number one, the toll it takes on our body.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes.

[Lisa Whittle]

But number two, like, sometimes we don't even really recognize or regard what overworking and like forcing our body to do and be all things. We are limited people. Yeah, we are.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And you know what's interesting, Candace? As I'm listening to this, I'm thinking about my own overwork story because like you, I actually really like to work. I talked about the fact in one of the other shows that I wrote six projects, three. Three books and three Bible studies in three years, which is really crazy. I mean, the deadlines that I was on. I mean, I remember writing a book in eight weeks. And that's just ridiculous. Like, I would never coach or advise anyone to do that because your body will break in half.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

I mean, it just breaks like you. It breaks down. You're. You mentally break down the space you have to get in to write things like that. It's just ridiculous. But one thing I remember is that, you know, people, well meaning people would say, like, girl, you just love to work. It's good. It's okay. People will support you in your sickness.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

And you have to understand that these are things that. That you have to be very self aware about.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Being led by the spirit that lives inside of you. And also know that these messages that we're getting from secular culture all the time of, like, you can do it all these. This is why the you are enough message is not the message that we need to believe we were never meant to be enough. That's actually a really freeing message. I love strength. I love strong women. I love the idea that I can do in many amounts of things. Like, I love the idea of limitlessness. If it were true, it's just not true. What I found is that I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. And I found the profound limitlessness in my limitedness through that verse. That's biblical theology, and that's really important. And so if we want to do it our way and we want to try to do and be all things, that's fine, but that's not the way that's meant to be. And so how does that relate to our bodies? Well, I think we heard the story there breaking down in Central Park.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Lisa Whittle]

Because at a certain point, even though, like, yes. You know, there's a fulfillment in doing your work, and that's great. And, you know, I'm sure you had your reasons for taking at the end of the day your body's your one and only body. Yep. You still, when you have a whole body theology, you're operating with a glory mindset. So does this bring glory to God? If you're in the middle of Central park breaking down at that point, it was no longer bringing glory to God because he loves you, because he's for you, because your life can't be as kingdom minds with as kingdom driven in that moment as it normally would be.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And you know what I learned when I got home? Because of course, a couple days went by and, and I, and I, I'm not exaggerating. I didn't get out of bed for a couple of weeks. It was difficult. And. But yet on probably that third or fourth day, I'm going, but what are. What, what's the show doing? I've got my contract. Like, I'm. I'm supposed to be working right now. And my husband was like, just stop. Just, just. It's taken care of. Don't worry about it. I'm like, well, did, did my agent call them? Did they, like, are they. What's happening? Are they freaking out? Are they getting a new co host of, like, sit in for me, like, what's. Stop. Like, what I learned is the world didn't stop revolving. Like, it, Life kept going on, right? And it was like, there isn't a problem that's so big that other people can't solve or it can't be fixed. And it's not to say that you're replaceable. That's not the message I'm saying. But it's like, there, there's just a point where it, it will keep going. You can ask for help and people can help you and it can get taken care of. That's so you don't have to do everything.

[Lisa Whittle]

That's so true. And that's so good. You know, I think I spent a lot of time, even in friendships, just sort of like thinking about how I should be better at. We'll take friendships, for instance. For instance, being a better friend, I thought I should be everything that friendships say I should be. So I should be everything in work, I should be everything as a mom, I should be everything as a friend. Even though talking about the spiritual gifts, because as a body, you know, we're all gifted differently. We all have different body parts. I thought, you know, I should be a better friend because I don't remember my friend's birthdays. This sounds so crazy, but it's true. I'm like, I'm not a good Friend, because I don't remember my friend's birthdays.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Well, you know, they have like an app for that. You just put your friends birthdays and they'll send you a text reminder.

[Lisa Whittle]

Here's the funny thing about this, like, I'm just not. I don't have the gift of administration. I don't have the gift of hospitality. My gifts are in prophecy and discernment and shepherding. So those just don't even match. Right. So of course I'm not gonna be good at not only being the room mom, but not, not remembering birthdays. Whereas my friends that are gifted in administration, they're the ones that are like, happy birthday to your son or happy anniversary to your son. Right, totally. But the point being is, I think for a long time we have loathed ourselves for everything. From not working well enough to, you know, not offering our neighbors to have a play date with our kids because they offered us one four years ago. To, you know, oh, I'm really tired. But if I lay down, that shows my weakness, you know, to, to not being a good friend. And the problem is the body is meant to help our body because if our bodies break down because we think that we're supposed to do everything, then we don't understand biblically the way that we were supposed to operate. The interesting thing is the animal kingdom does understand this. I was reading this because they have a group mentality way that they do things. Of course, this is the animal kingdom was created by the creator.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

So they do things in order to increase their quality of living, their chance of survival, and to make life easier on themselves. Fish form bait walls to keep danger away. Elephants live in herds and they keep their babies in the middle to protect them. And then the meerk cats, which are the lesser known animals, split up jobs among themselves to do different tasks, to work together, and to accomplish things and fight off loneliness. I mean, the animal kingdom. Yeah, but we don't really do things like that. We're like, okay, I have to do all things. So if we want our bodies to break down less, we have to operate in the way that we're supposed to, which is the body. I have a chair in my office. It's really pretty to look at. It's gorgeous. You would love it. Because we're the decorating twin flames.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes.

[Lisa Whittle]

But it's, it's like this gorgeous, like white velvet. But when I put it, I put it in my office and it has a leg that's was like missing apart. But I just kind of screwed it in anyway. And so it sits in the corner and it looks gorgeous, but it's, if you sit in it, you kind of wobble until. Right. And so it looks good, but because it's missing its part, it does not operate in the way that it's intended to operate. Really simple illustration of the way that we're supposed to operate as a body. And so if we don't understand that, then we're just going to keep being exhausted.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So I, I have a. This is a listener question which I think is great based off of what you just said. Kristen asks. I still struggle finding friends and my community. Any advice?

[Lisa Whittle]

It, you know, I think adult friendships are really hard. We're just like all little six year old girls still wanting to be invited over.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That's so true. It kind of never changes.

[Lisa Whittle]

It doesn't change.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, you can still feel left out. Like you're sitting alone at the lunch table or maybe your DJ Tanner in the phone booth alone eating your lunch.

[Lisa Whittle]

I mean, it's kind of true. I don't know. I think it's hard to know without knowing like circumstances like where you live and what, you know, all the things I always want to know the details of, like what have you tried and you know, and all that. I think it's, it might sound a little cliche, but I think it is just being the friend that you want to have. It really is.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's also putting yourself out there. It is that, you know, when my, my, when my son had moved.

[Lisa Whittle]

Out.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Of la, it took him a couple of years to really find good friendships and we were so proud of him because there's just not a lot of young people in that community in general, it just tends to be older people where he is. And so he had to make such an effort to say, okay, where's the high school basketball game? Or the, or where, where are they playing bocce ball? I'm going to join a league. Where is the church? Even though that wasn't necessarily the church he was going to on Sunday mornings, had to drive a little farther because they had a young adult ministry where some people that I can. And to show up alone, to show up alone is a really scary thing. And he did it. He kept going. He kept going and just put himself out there. And it was the coolest thing to watch because I was like, lev, go you. I'm like, I don't know that I would do that. I probably just hole up and go like I'm just not gonna have friends, friends. But that, that is the risky thing, but it really paid off. He has some amazing friendships, but it took a few years to find them. And so, yeah, I. I mean, I don't know what Kristen, what you've tried, but whether that's. If you have kids, whether that's in schools or church community, or finding things that you enjoy, whether it's, you know, like a league, a bowling league, a tennis league or something, it can be hard. But to keep pursuing is nice. I've also had friends that have really tried, like, move to new cities, and a year or two years later, they're like, I just don't think my people are here.

[Lisa Whittle]

That's actually.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That happens.

[Lisa Whittle]

That's actually such a good point, too. And I also want her to know that it is hard for a lot of people. I will say community is hard for a lot of people when. And I think that's important to say, because when we think that we're alone and that we're the only ones that can't find friends, it does feel like, what's wrong with me? Even. Just something came to mind when my husband and I were going through something really difficult recently. I remember he came home one day and said, I thought through all the people that I could call about this. Now my husband has friends with tons of people, but when he was thinking through a list of who he could call when we were really burdened about a specific issue, he said, I couldn't think of one person, because sometimes there are really deep issues that you think through people and you think, could I call them about this? And he said, I couldn't think of anybody. And you get to the point in your life, too, where you become sort of the mentor of everyone. And at some point, and your parents are at a certain age that now you're protecting them from things that are hard. And it becomes harder and harder to find someone to mentor you as well. And I know we're not talking about mentorship, but that's also difficult. So I just want her to know it's tough. It's tough.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

But I love your thought about putting yourself out there.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It just might take. It might take some time. The other thing is, I'll just from my own experience, because I travel so much. Like, I'm always jealous of couples who have another couple friend that's like their best friends, and they do everything with Val, and I don't have that. We've never had that. We have friends. But. But there's. A lot of times it's like he has the guy friends. I have the girlfriends. And it's not necessarily the guy and the girl that are married.

[Lisa Whittle]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I mean, most of the times it's not that. Yeah, but. But, you know, each of us enjoy the other person enough that we're like, yeah, sure, we'll all get together, but they're not like besties. We've never had it. I wish I did, but because I travel so much, I really have community on, like, for. With technology. Meaning. I'm not saying Instagram, but I'm communicating with a lot of my friends through app. I use the Marco Polo video app, and we're leaving video messages with each other, and that's kind of my communication. Even Bible study in the last years for me, I'm doing that online with my girlfriends, and I don't get to sit in person with them. And sometimes that's how life goes too. But I think you can find community if you really find it. I really hope you find it in person, because it's way better speaking as someone who doesn't have as much in person community.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah, that's.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But it's still there online for me.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yes, that is so true. Because the conclusion of that story that I was just telling. What is one of my friends that is sort of a mentor from afar. I voice memo'd her and her husband. Voice memo's back. And prayed for us over a voice memo. They live in a completely different state. So even though she and I have gotten to know each other through even speaking and being Bible teachers, there is a friendship that has formed there. So it's kind of a little bit of a different friendship than I would have assumed would be. What would help us in this season? It's been so beautiful, so. So it's okay to be a little, you know, have it be a little bit of an interesting way that you have a friendship. Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, for sure. Well, let's take another listener question. Just a quick one. Okay. Well, we kind of talked a little bit about this, but Jacqueline asked. I'm curious as to what role parents should play in encouraging modesty in fashion, or is it best to let our children discover it more independently?

[Lisa Whittle]

I. I think we have to guide our kids.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I do, too.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah, I. I would. I'd be real scared to think that without parental guidance that a child's just going to develop modesty. And I think it's. They develop their convictions and their, you know, their knowledge of what the Bible says about our bodies and about holiness and purity and all those things in the Word. Obviously, they're going to have their own relationship with the Lord. But we're their teachers, we're their parents, we're their guides and in their early life. So, yeah, that's my guide. That's my thoughts.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, those are my thoughts too. Definitely. Thanks for that question. Hold on, just gonna see. Very quick. Could you share your favorite healthy go to meals? Oh, do you have something that you like to order when you're out on the road or just. Or a meal that you make at home? That's your go to?

[Lisa Whittle]

Oh, I'm, I am. I don't do that much cooking anymore. But I mean, it would be something pretty basic. I mean, I love, I love like a quick salmon in the, in the oven. Yeah, I mean, I would just do a quick, a quick 12 minute salmon. Right. Yeah, we do. We are, Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I mean, do it in the pan. That's a great one.

[Lisa Whittle]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

My other, my go to meal. I've shared this on Instagram a few times and now after you guys listen to this, I will probably repost it because you'll be asking me, but I have. It's a terrible name, but I call it the COVID salad. It does not have Covid in it. Okay. But it was developed during the pandemic and it just, it got. It was. Mary Lou Henner and I were. We would quarantine for. And living together for months at a time while we were filming movies. And so we made this salad.

[Lisa Whittle]

What's in it? Besides not Covid, but like I'm. Now I'm intrigued.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So it's arugula.

[Lisa Whittle]

Okay.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And then cucumber, fennel, green onion, avocado. And then we toast some, some pumpkin seeds, pepitas, and then the dressing. So like that's it. It's basically a very all green salad, but chopped finely. And then the salad dressing is. Which is the only salad dressing I ever make. And I only make it. I don't ever buy jars of salad dressing because it's too easy to make great salad dressing that's just better for you and tastes better. And tastes better. Yeah. So extra virgin olive oil, lemon, a little Dijon mustard, salt and pepper. And then you just need some kind of vinaigrette. So sometimes I'll just use an apple cider vinegar because I always have that. But if you have like a champagne vinegar, like that can be great. Just a little touch of that, you know, mix it all up. But that's. That is my go to salad. I eat it several times a week. So does my husband. You could add broccoli. Finely chopped broccoli in there too if you you want even more.

[Lisa Whittle]

Okay, so those two things could go together. We have our salmon with our salad. Salad. Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay. Well, this was fun and another great conversation. Guys. We are in this together. We really are. And we want you to have the Whole Body guide as your next step. So Download [e-mail] or you can find it in the link below. You'll also see Lisa's Body and Soul Bible Study book, which is inspired much of our conversation. So pick that up too. Until next time, be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment all rights reserved.

[Lisa Whittle]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

One forgets mom 60th and never miss.

[Lisa Whittle]

A meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn more at WhatsApp.com.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained one who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. New Team the new fragrance by Miu Miu, defined by you.