What If Better Communication Could Change Everything? A New Series with Jason VanRuler

Summary

Episode Overview

Theme:
This episode of The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast debuts a new series focused on the transformative power of better communication in relationships. Candace welcomes guest host Jason Van Ruler—a therapist, communication coach, author, dad, and husband—to join her in a six-week journey to help listeners identify their communication styles and improve connection with loved ones.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Communication as a Lifelong Journey

• Growth Mindset:
  Jason opens with the idea that communication is an ongoing journey, not a destination.
  • Quote:

    "You know, you never really go, okay, well, I reached the summit, and now everything's perfect. And I'm great at this. It's like, you can always improve." – Jason Van Ruler [00:00]

• Self-Reflection:
  Both hosts stress that even if you seem perfect communicatively to others, there’s always more to learn.

2. Welcome and Purpose of the Series

• Introducing Jason:
  Candace introduces Jason as the expert guest host for the new season, highlighting his qualifications and personal experience.
• Goal:
  The series will help listeners discover their communication types (peacekeepers, challengers, “safe” friends, etc.) and learn practical ways to deepen connection and navigate conflict.

3. Why Communication Styles Matter

• Impact on Relationships:
  Jason emphasizes that improving communication can transform not just families and friendships, but the world itself.
  • Quote:

    "If we could do conflict better. If we could do connection better, we could do relationships better. What I believe is that literally, the world would be a different place." – Jason Van Ruler [01:20]

4. The Role of Faith in Communication

• Personal Practice:
  Candace shares her habit of seeking God before reaching out to others with her problems, aligning spiritual focus with communication decisions.
  • Quote:

    "I always remind myself to take it to God first before I call my husband, before I call my girlfriend, before I talk to anyone else, to take it to God. He's like, bring it all to me. And I just love that about it." – Candace Cameron Bure [01:29]

5. Recognizing Different Priorities in Communication

• Not Everyone is a Peacekeeper:
  Jason and Candace discuss varying motivations—some people strive for peace in every room, while others may not prioritize harmony.
  • Jason: "It's not everybody's goal to have peace all the time. Sometimes one person's working really hard in a room going, I'm trying to make everybody peaceful and okay. And everyone else is kind of unaware because that's not as important to them." [01:44]
  • Candace: "I am not a peacemaker." [01:55]

6. Embracing Personal Boundaries

• Comfort with Saying No:
  Candace openly states she has no trouble setting personal boundaries.
  • Jason: "Let's just say that you can say no. That's. You have no problem with that?" [01:56]
  • Candace: "Yes. I have no problem saying no." [02:02]

7. Invitation to Self-Discovery

• Understanding Needs:
  Jason highlights the benefits of knowing your own communication needs:
  • Quote:

    "One of the fun things about this is it helps you know what you need." – Jason Van Ruler [02:04]

• Candace embraces the process:
  • Quote:

    "I love free therapy." – Candace [02:08]

---

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• "If we could do conflict better. If we could do connection better, we could do relationships better. What I believe is that literally, the world would be a different place." – Jason Van Ruler [01:20]
• "I always remind myself to take it to God first before I call my husband, before I call my girlfriend, before I talk to anyone else." – Candace [01:29]
• "I am not a peacemaker." – Candace [01:55]
• "Yes. I have no problem saying no." – Candace [02:02]
• "I love free therapy." – Candace [02:08]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00: Opening thoughts on continuous improvement in communication (Jason)
• 00:16: Introduction to the communication-focused podcast series (Candace)
• 01:10: Jason joins the podcast, shares excitement (Jason)
• 01:20: How better communication can impact the world (Jason)
• 01:29: Candace discusses faith and communication priorities
• 01:44: Peacekeepers vs. challengers, differing priorities (Jason & Candace)
• 02:02: Setting boundaries—saying no comfortably (Jason & Candace)
• 02:08: The excitement of "free therapy" and preview for the upcoming season (Candace)

---

Conclusion

In this engaging and accessible conversation, Candace Cameron Bure and Jason Van Ruler set the stage for a deep-dive into communication—a theme that lies at the heart of all relationships. They blend authentic personal insights, humor, and practical encouragement, inviting listeners to identify their communication styles and grow in self-awareness. As Candace reminds the audience, “Life is like a rollercoaster, but it’s better when we go through it together.” [02:08]

Upcoming:
The series officially kicks off next week. For updates, listeners are encouraged to subscribe on their favorite platforms or via Candace.com.

Transcript

[A]

You know, you never really go, okay, well, I reached the summit, and now everything's perfect. And I'm great at this. It's like, you can always improve. Well, you might be perfect for everybody else. We're going to struggle a little bit.

[B]

The next series of my podcast is almost here. My expert guest host this season knows that good communication is the most important part of any relationship. Jason Van Ruler is a licensed therapist, a communication coach, and an author, and he's also a dad and husband who knows how hard and rewarding good communication can be. Jason is joining us for six weeks of episodes, and he wants to help you discover your communication type. Are you always trying to smooth over the conflict in your family? Somebody who loves to challenge the people around you? Or are you the safe person all your friends come to when they really need to talk? Well, you're going to learn a lot from Jason, and he helps you figure out who you are and how you find great connection with the people you love the most. Jason, hi. Welcome to the podcast. Hey.

[A]

Thank you so much for having me on. I've been excited about this.

[B]

I love that we're talking about communication styles and types and figuring out just how to be better with one another.

[A]

Yeah. So we could do conflict better. If we could do connection better, we could do relationships better. What I believe is that literally, the world would be a different place.

[B]

That's why we're gonna learn how to communicate with each other better. I always remind myself to take it to God first before I call my husband, before I call my girlfriend, before I talk to anyone else, to take it to God. He's like, bring it all to me. And I just love that about it.

[A]

It's not everybody's goal to have peace all the time. Sometimes one person's working really hard in a room going, I'm trying to make everybody peaceful and okay. And everyone else is kind of unaware because that's not as important to them.

[B]

I am not a peacemaker.

[A]

Let's just say that you can say no. That's. You have no problem with that?

[B]

Yes. I have no problem saying no.

[A]

Yeah. One of the fun things about this is it helps you know what you need.

[B]

I love free therapy. The first episode comes out next Tuesday. Go to Candace.com to get email updates so you'll always be the first to know. And click the links to your favorite podcast platforms. Life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together.