You Become Who You Surround Yourself With

Summary

The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast

Episode: "You Become Who You Surround Yourself With"

Date: March 10, 2026
Host: Candace Cameron Bure
Featured Guest: Madison Pruitt Trout

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast explores the profound impact that our friendships and communities have on our lives, choices, and faith. Candace and her guest, Madison Pruitt Trout, engage in a candid discussion about the necessity of surrounding oneself with people who uplift, encourage, and challenge you to grow—especially in the context of Christian faith. They share personal anecdotes about times when friendships led them astray and other moments when their community pushed them closer to Jesus. The conversation also addresses changes in community throughout different life stages—college, marriage, motherhood—and how to intentionally foster the relationships that matter most.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Your Circle

• Madison opens with vulnerability about poor decisions made because of the people she surrounded herself with.
  • Quote: "I have made some of my worst decisions because of the people that I was choosing to surround myself with." (00:00)
• They agree the old adage "life is like a roller coaster" is accurate—community makes life's ups and downs more manageable.
  • Candace: "Life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together.” (03:00)

2. Seasons of Life & Changing Communities

• Madison reflects on how community changes drastically after key life events, especially after college and entering motherhood.
  • “One of the hardest times for me was after I graduated college…everyone starts moving away and some people get engaged and some people stay single, and things just start changing.” (07:55)
  • Navigating this transition can feel isolating, but it’s an opportunity to seek out deeper, more intentional relationships.
• Both speakers note that making friends grows harder over time, but being intentional is key.

3. The Influence of Friends on Faith & Character

• Madison shares a personal story about getting influenced by peers and the realization that, while trying to bring others to Jesus, she was being pulled away from her own values.
  • Quote: "You become like those that you surround yourself with... show me your friends and I'll show you your future." (11:14)
  • Scriptural Insight: Referencing, “Bad company corrupts good character” to highlight the spiritual stakes involved. (12:30)
• Candace tells of a deeply uncomfortable experience where a friend led her to a place she never wanted to be, which caused her to reevaluate trust and boundaries.
  • Quote: “We made a hard U turn and walked right out of there. And it just was, like, so slimy and weird…we’re going to pause before we ever say yes to going out with that friend again.” (13:29)
• She also recounts a formative friendship with Shalene, a friend who lovingly but firmly kept her accountable in her faith.
  • Quote: “She wasn’t afraid to say, ‘Hey, friend, I’m checking on you. Because I know that I don’t see fruit in your life.’” (15:56)

4. The Qualities of Transformational Friendship

• Both emphasize the necessity of friends who sharpen, challenge, and inspire—not just affirm everything or enable bad habits.
  • Madison: “We should have friends that care more about our soul than our feelings in a moment.” (16:36)
• The best friendships are centered on mutual accountability, spiritual growth, and encouragement.

5. Community Through Life Changes

• Madison and Candace discuss specific examples of how their circles shifted with marriage and motherhood.
  • Madison: "Motherhood has been interesting...I don't really have a whole lot of other time, you know, to pour into other relationships and friendships." (21:55)
• Candace outlines how community evolves: from neighborhood and church friends to online friendships, emphasizing that key relationships can be sustained—even flourished—remotely.
  • Quote: “My community becomes about FaceTime. It becomes about certain apps that I use...girls’ trips, phone calls...My Bible studies have been online.” (24:08)

6. You’re Never Too Old (or Young) for New Community

• Candace shares a charming story about her 82-year-old father making new friends in a Bible study after moving to a new state.
  • Quote: “You’re never too old to start making new friends.” (27:14)

7. The Importance of Being Selective and Intentional

• Madison likens friends to the flu: "You're gonna catch whatever they got." (30:10)
  • She explains the importance of choosing friends whose lives inspire you, challenge you, and reflect qualities you want to have.
• Candace: “Community can come in all forms, in person, online. You're never too young, too old to make new friends. But it really is important to find the type of people that you want to be in community with...” (29:40)

8. Faith & Friendship—Biblical Inspiration

• Both reference biblical principles of community, accountability, and the power of friends to “carry you to Jesus” when you’re stuck.
  • Discussed the story of friends lowering a paralyzed man through the roof (31:58).
  • Candace: “I would not have come through the entertainment industry for the last 40 years...without all the people praying for me.” (32:21)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Fun without regrets, fun without shame. And what ended up happening was these friends ended up influencing me for the worst..." — Madison (11:17)
• “Have you thought about reading this? Or what do you think about this?” — Madison, on the value of friends who challenge and inspire (16:36)
• “We need those people that are going to make us sharper.” — Madison (16:36)
• “If you want to reconcile...if they choose not to, it’s really out of your hands at that point.” — Candace, on unresolved conflict (33:39)
• "Friends are like the flu. You're gonna catch whatever they got." — Madison (30:10)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00: Madison’s opening reflection on the importance of who you surround yourself with.
• 03:00: Lighthearted talk about roller coasters as a metaphor for life.
• 07:55: Madison on the challenges of building community post-college.
• 11:17: Madison’s story of peer influence and faith.
• 13:29: Candace’s story about boundaries, negative environments, and lessons learned.
• 16:36: Discussion of accountability friendships—“iron sharpens iron.”
• 21:55: Madison and Candace on how community shifts in marriage and motherhood.
• 24:08: Technology’s role in building and sustaining community.
• 27:14: Candace’s story of her father’s new friendships at 82.
• 30:10: Madison’s analogy—the contagiousness of a friend's influence.
• 31:58: Reflecting on biblical examples of supportive, faith-driven community.
• 33:13: Listener Q&A on unresolved conflict and Christian forgiveness.

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Listener Q&A Segment

Question: If you've made attempts to reconcile with a fellow Christian but they don't want to, what do you do?

• Both hosts agree: Forgive, set boundaries if needed, and surrender the unresolved issue to God.
  • Candace: “If they choose not to [reconcile], it’s really out of your hands at that point.” (33:39)
  • Madison: “Our role is to forgive. Our role is to pray...to not carry any bitterness or resentment.” (34:31)

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Takeaways

• The people in your proximity shape your character, faith, and the trajectory of your life.
• Intentionality is key—seek friendships that sharpen, challenge, and push you closer to your values and to God.
• Community changes with life’s seasons, and adding/removing relationships is natural and necessary.
• Technology can effectively extend and nurture meaningful connections.
• Forgiveness and healthy boundaries are essentials when reconciliation isn’t possible.

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Visit: candace.com/together for resources and the private podcast community.
Madison’s Book: Linked in show notes.

“Be grateful all day, every day.” — Candace (35:58)

Transcript

[A]

I have made some of my worst decisions because of the people that I was choosing to surround myself with.

[B]

Like, please share There we have a moment. I'm really intentional about what I put on my body and in my body. And so many brands that we've trusted over the years have quietly been bought out and filled with new ingredients. That's why I think you'll love the Van man company. They're committed to real old school products. No fillers, no corporate nonsense. Their grass fed tallow bomb is incredible. The fatty acids are almost identical to your own skin, so your body recognizes it immediately. One balm it can replace your lotion, your night cream, even diaper cream. A little goes a long way. And people love their miracle tooth powder and it's made with real bone hydroxyapatite. It's the same mineral that your teeth are made up with.0 fluoride or foaming agents. And their pearl eye cream. It is packed with tallow, wild caught pearl powder and nourishing oils that actually support the delicate skin around your eye. So if you're ready to switch to products made with integrity, go To Vanman Shop Bure and use the code BURE. That's B U R E for 15% off your first order. Van Man Real ingredients, no exceptions. There's a lot going on in the world right now and sometimes it feels overwhelming. But the Bible reminds us there's a steady foundation beneath it all, a source of hope that can't be shaken. The promises of scripture were first made to the people of Israel. Right now, there are thousands of people who share these foundations of our faith who need our help. Many in Israel and Eastern Europe face everyday challenges like getting food, medicine and having their basic needs met. That's why I'm sharing with you about the international fellowship of Christians and Jews. They've been providing real help and Hope for over 40 years. If you want to learn more or get involved, visit ifcj.org that's ifcj.org. Life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candice Cameron Bury Podcast. We're here to talk about real life, the challenges, celebrations and everything in between. Madison, Pruitt, Trout and I want you to know how good life can be when you build deep friendships with the people around you. There are more honest conversations ahead today and we're answering listener questions to join a private podcast chat. Become a [e-mail] together, where I also have a monthly livestream and exclusive member challenges. Come join Us. Maddie, I had to do that intro,

[A]

like, five times, but you crushed it every single time. And I feel like now I know your intro. Like, I feel ready to do the next one.

[B]

You could.

[A]

No, I'm kidding.

[B]

I'm not ready Verbatim. Maybe next week you do it, or you can close out the show.

[A]

It's making me want to go to a theme park and get on a

[B]

roller coaster, though, because life is like a roller coaster. It is a good analogy, though, don't you think?

[A]

Do you like roller coasters? Do you do or do they, like, make you feel like. My. My husband doesn't love the roller coasters,

[B]

so I used to love them, and now since I had kids, my mom

[A]

says that I haven't tried it since having Hosanna.

[B]

Yeah. Now I get very ill on a roller coaster. Interesting.

[A]

I just don't trust them anymore. I think I have trust issues. And there's just been lots of stories, so I just.

[B]

There have been that have been awful. Yeah. I don't. If it's, like, a little fun, baby one. I'm fine. Like, Disneyland, roller coasters, the Small World are totally fine. I mean, I can do the Incredicoaster or whatever it's called, the incredible roller coaster, but that's about it. I don't really want to do, like, a Magic Mountain type of.

[A]

No, that's fair.

[B]

Roller coaster.

[A]

Full commitment.

[B]

It is, yeah. Used to like it as a teenager, and not anymore, because I like to keep my stomach where my stomach should be.

[A]

Should be.

[B]

Not the drop, not. Oh, like, in my throat or. I don't know. I don't want it.

[A]

No, we're good.

[B]

It just makes me feel bad. I was just thinking about you being a new mom and what you're most excited for about the future.

[A]

I was so close, or am so close with my mom, and it has just been so cool now getting to raise my daughter. I mean, she's one, but already I have developed so much respect for my mom and moms in general and also just have the time of my life. Like, hosanna does everything with me. I mean, sister is in separation anxiety phase. So I'm talking. Goes to the bathroom with me, sometimes showers with me, and sometimes I'm like, you know, I need a second. But most of the time, I'm like, this is the sweetest thing. So I am just so excited for all of the little moments. Getting to see more of her personality, getting to teach her the Bible, and getting to, I don't know, just, like, go through. I Just love all the little moments. Even just like the everyday moments, like sitting out. We have a little front porch swing and that's one of our favorite little places to just hang and sit and so, yeah, I'm just really excited. I've tried my best to document. Like, I don't want to forget anything, so I've tried my best to document. Even like on my notes app, there's a little sweet, special moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, I don't know. I'm just. I'm excited. What, what would you say, what were like, some of your favorite, I guess like seasons of life when your kids were younger?

[B]

It seems like forever ago, which is crazy. I. I've loved. I've really enjoyed every season. I love the little baby phase. It's not a phase, but little baby, baby age when they're not even walking yet because you just get to hold them and cuddle and all the things and I love that. And little harder. What you're slowly coming into for me, the running around when you have to have eyes on them at all times when they're little toddlers. I mean, there was a time in our life where we didn't go out to dinner for a couple of years with them because it was just. It was a lot. Our three kids and trying to get em in a high chair at a restaurant and mind their manners. We were just like, we're not doing this.

[A]

And are they close to age? So that it was pretty quick.

[B]

They are 18 months and two years.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Or 23 months. So they're all pretty close in age. But I've really enjoyed every season and I would say just do that. Try and stay in the moment as much and enjoy it because it's. Everyone says that it goes really fast, but it really, really does.

[A]

Oh, already. I'm already like, wait, I feel like I just had you. How are you? Already went. So I know I'm gonna be that same mom that just says that forever. I'm just like, wait, time is really flying too fast.

[B]

I know, but it's sweet.

[A]

I agree. So far, every season has just been special.

[B]

Good. Well, you're just at the beginning. So much more to come. So enjoy it. We're talking about community today and I'd love to hear how you found your community, because community really changes, not just season of life, but really your age. And I feel like for the most part, it's easy to make. To have community and make friends when you're younger, but it gets a little more challenging when you're older and Then when you get married and if you move to a new city. So I'd love to hear your story of community.

[A]

Yeah. One of the hardest times for me was after I graduated college, because I feel like high school and college you're in, even though that, of course, has its own struggles. I'm not saying that it's easy to make friends in those environments, but you're at least all in the same area, the same place, in the same season of life. As soon as you graduate college, it's kind of like, unless, I mean, you and all of your friends, you know, get engaged at the same time or stay single at the same time and live in the same place. It's kind of like everyone starts moving away and some people get engaged and some people stay single, and things just start changing. And these friends that you've built and cultivated for years, you know, it's like, oh, wow, we're not in the same place and season of life anymore. And how do I deal with these things changing? How do I not fall into comparison and cheer you on? In your season of getting married while I'm single, are you landing your dream job while I'm stuck in doing something that I don't, you know, necessarily love doing right now? So that was, for sure a challenge for me. I would say one of the hardest seasons of my life was right after I graduated college, because I remember having a really hard time first having to figure out how to navigate, you know, finding friends when you're not just all together all the time and it's easily accessible. But now you graduate college and you're kind of like, okay, what do I do? Do I just, like, go out and introduce myself to strangers? Like, do I join a book club? I don't know, like, how do you make friends? And it feels so weird to be like, how do I find my people again? How do I make friends again? But that was a very real thing for me, and especially because all of my friends. I alluded to this in another podcast, but a lot of my friends got married right out of college, and I was newly single again. And so even just that in and of itself was really difficult because all of my friends were, you know, married and going home to their spouse and every night after work, and, you know, it just looked so different. And so it was a very lonelier season of my life. I would say that was one of the hardest seasons. But I have learned throughout my life, middle school, high school, college, post college, married, now momhood, just the importance of finding the right People finding godly people to surround yourself with. Because I've just seen how much it's affected my relationship with Jesus, who I choose to surround myself with and in so many different ways. You know, I do believe that your company will either lead you closer to Jesus or further away. Your company that you keep will either, you know, push you to sin or push you to God. And I have seen that to be true. And I would say even in the smallest of ways, like surrounding myself with people who I don't know, just like really find joy in spilling tea and like talking about other people, I can get caught up in that or wrapped up in that or, or hanging out with people that I don't know really value or have a place of over emphasis on worldly things and success and looking a certain way and fitting in a certain way. That can very much impact then how I view myself and what I see as important and how I start dressing and how I start acting. So I've seen such a big how important it is that we find the right community and how much it really does impact us. I have made some of my worst decisions because of the people that I was choosing to surround myself with.

[B]

Like, please share moment.

[A]

Yes. So I did not have a big past with like drinking a lot of alcohol, but I did have a couple of moments where I found myself into some trouble. And I had this one moment where I got really drunk. I didn't quite know how shots worked and so I took some shots and I was like, I feel fine. And so I kept taking more and I got really drunk. And this was a long time ago. And I started counseling all of the people who didn't believe in Jesus and telling them that they should believe in Jesus and why they should believe in Jesus. And they're like, what are you doing? And they're laughing with me and they're like, but we're having so much fun. What do you mean? Like why we don't need to go to church, we don't need to follow Jesus. Like, this is fun. We're having so much fun. And I remember when one of those girls said that I just had a, this like gut wrenching feeling of, oh, she said we're having so much fun. Like, she included me in this, in this engagement with sin and getting caught up in doing something that I know I shouldn't be doing. And for me, I walked away from that, experiencing real experience, realizing that, you know, I was hoping to encourage these friends to follow Jesus because I know that Jesus is the best and the way to true life and true fun. Fun without regrets, fun without shame. And what ended up happening was these friends ended up influencing me for, for the worst and pulled me into, you know, their, their sin and their sin struggles. And again, I made my own choices. Nobody forced me to do that. But the company we keep has a big impact on the choices we make and who we become. You know, there's all kind of quotes out there of like, you become like, those that you surround yourself with and show me your friends and I'll show you your future. I mean, there's so much out there that speaks to this. And it's true. I mean, scripture talks about it. Bad company corrupts good character, which I believe the opposite to be true, too. That means good company will promote good character. And I've seen that to be so true in my walk with Jesus.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. Well, thanks for sharing your em. I mean, what about you? I don't want to put you on

[A]

the line with an embarrassing story, but, like, have you seen that to be true of, like, when you hang around certain people, you're like, oh, they kind of pull out. Maybe the worst of me or the

[B]

best of me, of course. I mean, listen, I have some really weird, embarrassing moments. Although I, I, I, I shouldn't say embarrassing. For me, they were more shameful of going to places where I thought, like, oh, this person's a friend and I'm going to be cool and do this. And yeah, I went to a party once with Val because we were married. And it ended up being this underground party that was an S and M, like, sex thing that was so dark and demonic. And we walked in and my eyeballs were popping out of my head. Cause I saw stuff I've never seen before in my life. And I'm looking at Val going, like, how, how are we here? What is happening? And the one person that invited us, but we made a hard U turn and walked right out of there. And it just was, like, so slimy and weird. And I was like, we're going to pause before we ever say yes to going out with that friend again. We just had no idea what we were walking into. And it was so disgusting and gross. And at the same time, one of my best friends today, her name's Shalene, and I've been friends with her since I was probably 15. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and just a very close friend today. And some people might know listening to her because she was with me on tour on my live tour. But when I was probably like 17 or 18. And Charlene's like five years older than me. She was kind of like my cool big sister. And she sat me down on her couch one time, she was already married. Like, she was married in her early, like, very early 20s. And she was like, how's your walk with God? And I looked at her like a deer in headlights, going, like, what are you talking about? Why are you even asking me? Because I didn't really have a relationship with God. I believed in God, but I wasn't walking with God, pursuing God, going to church, reading my Bible at that time. And when she asked me that, I felt so convicted and embarrassed. But she was a good enough friend to go, how's your walk with God? And I was kind of like, well, what do you mean? She's like, well, tell me, are you reading anything in the Bible? Are you. Have you learned something at church? I just. I want to know where you're at. And I had nothing to say. And she knew it. I mean, it's why she posed the question. And she was very gentle about it, but she's a big personality, so she was just like, okay, well, when we get together next time, I want to hear about what you're doing. I want to hear that you're in the Bible or you're this. And I just love that about her friendship and that kind of community that she wasn't afraid to say, hey, friend, I'm checking on you. Because I. I know that I don't see fruit in your life. And as a sister in Christ, it is for me to ask you about that and to check up and. And see where you're at and motivate you into a better place and a right place with God.

[A]

Yeah, so good. And it talks about in proverbs like iron sharpening iron. We need those people that are going to make us sharper. And I think we so fear having those kinds of relationships where friends don't just affirm everything that we're doing. Yes, but that's not the kind of relationships that God called us to. We should have friends that care more about our soul than our feelings in a moment. Having friends that'll ask the hard questions or say the hard things that make you better and that lead you closer to Jesus is the best kind of friend. Not just the one that's going to affirm whatever you're doing or affirm your sin, but finding those. Those friends that'll actually make you sharper. And I talk about that in my book, Just what it Looks like to have faith filled friends because that changes everything. Those friends that aren't afraid to hat like you're saying with your friend that's not afraid to have those hard conversations or, or even encourage you in a certain way. Like hey, have you thought about reading this? Or what do you, what do you think about this?

[B]

I know, I think that sometimes, especially when we're, when we all call ourselves Christians, it's, it's easy to understand that a lot of us are in different places within our walk and if we're in a more complacent relationship, like we're not actually pursuing relationship with God, but we know Jesus, we're not questioning our salvation. It's easy to just walk that road as a lukewarm Christian and yet we need those people in our lives to say like, hey, I see this and there's a boldness about it and it can only prompt us forward or we decide another fate for ourselves if we want to walk away Grand Canyon University, an affordable private Christian university based in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona, is one of the largest universities in the country. Praised for its culture of community and impact, GCU integrates the free market system, a welcoming Christian worldview, and free and open discourse into 369 academic programs with over 300 online join a nationwide community of learners redefining what online education looks like through academically rigorous, industry driven programs that can spark bold ideas and prepare you for a future that matters. In addition to federal grants and aid, GCU's online students received nearly $161 million in institutional scholarships in 2024. Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University Private Christian affordable. Visit gcu.edu myoffer to see the scholarships you may qualify for. You don't have to overhaul your whole life in 2026 to feel better. Sometimes it starts with something as simple as your snacks. That's why I love masa chips, you guys. They are so good. They become one of my favorite pantry snacks because they're made with real intentional ingredients. Just three of them. Organic nixtamalliized corn, sea salt and 100% grass fed beef tallow. That's it. No seed oils, no mystery ch just real food. And they don't just sound good, they taste incredible. Snacking on masa feels completely different than regular chips. I feel satisfied, light and energized. No crash, no bloating, no sluggish feeling afterward because they're made with real food and they're more filling and so I'm not mindlessly reaching for another bag. Personally, my favorite is original. If you want to give Masa a try, go to masachips.com bure and use the code BURE. That's B U R E for 25% off your first order. Or scan the QR code. And if you don't feel like ordering online, MASA is now available nationwide at Sprout, so be sure to grab a couple of bags I've shared about 316 Financial before, but I wanted to come back to it because they're offering something right now that I think you'll really appreciate. When you open a 3:16 financial savings account and maintain an average balance of $5,000 for 90 days, they'll add $250 to your account. I love that this is a thoughtful way to grow your savings while also being intentional about stewardship and generosity. And the account itself is impressive, earning 4.05% annual percentage yield with no minimum balance to earn it and no monthly fees. So if you're looking for a strong savings option with purpose behind it, this is worth checking out. You can learn [e-mail] Candice and be sure to use the promo code Candice when you open your account. Banking services are provided by 316 Financial, a division of Premise bank member FDIC. Deposit accounts can be opened with as little as $1. Check out full offer [e-mail] Candace has your community changed drastically since you got married? I mean, or because you guys moved?

[A]

Yeah, I'd say in every season it's definitely looked different. I'd say honestly entering into motherhood has been maybe even harder than when we first got married because when you first get married I feel like finding your other couples depending on where you are and what your situation is, at least for us. My husband was working at a church so finding other couples. We immediately joined a couple's small group through our church and found those life giving friends. But I would say motherhood has been interesting because it's like okay, I feel like if I'm giving my time to my husband, my daughter and then work, I don't really have a whole lot of other time, you know, to to pour into other relationships and friendships. So it's definitely I think for me made it like who do I really want to invest in and who do I really want investing in me and who is actually pushing me closer to Jesus and making me look more like Jesus and helping me do more for Jesus. And those were kind of the three things that I always looked for in a relationship. Do they make me look more like him? Do they make me, you know, want to be with him more and do they help me do more for Jesus? Which kind of speaks to like, you know, different things, Identity, purpose, you know, your day to day faith and walk with Jesus. But finding those friends were really important for me. But I do think it's a continual, like you have to keep putting yourself out there even when you find those friends. Like it's a continual, you have to keep working for it. I mean, have you seen that throughout different seasons? Like I would even love to know how has that been even as your kids have gotten older? Because I've seen, you know, through different people in my life or even looking at for my mom like she. A lot of times it was centered around what my sisters and I were kind of going through in that season of life and who we were spending time with and our friends, moms and so what has that been like for you and raising a family?

[B]

Yeah, community has looked different at all stages and seasons of life. And it does get harder as you get older. And it is, especially when you have kids, it really becomes about who your kids are hanging out with. Then you become friends with their friends, parents, or if you're in sports. We found a lot of community within our neighborhood, which was nice.

[A]

That is nice.

[B]

Obviously community can be found at church and I always feel like that's the best place to start and find community because you're looking for people that are like minded, that want, that have some of the same goals that you have in pursuing your relationship with God and making godly decisions and wanting to have fun nights together that aren't going to be about doing bad things. And the other part for me that I'd like to point out is that sometimes community for me is not always in person. And I think that that can be for a lot of people. And so I'd like to encourage all of you listening if you're like, but I don't. I live in a city and it's hard to make friends or I just haven't found my church yet. I can't find good community. I do a lot of community online, to be honest. I do a lot. There are people that I know some of my best, not some of. I don't have any of my best friends that live in the city that I live in. We're all scattered all over the US so my community becomes about FaceTime. It becomes about certain apps that I use like Marco Pol, like video messages, it's voice to text messages, girls, trip it's girls trips, it's phone calls. And I have a lot of prayer time over that, over phone calls and even Bible studies. My Bible studies have been over. They've been online. It's like I'm doing a Bible study with people all over and we have a meeting time or we have a zoom call and we study that way. So it's not the end of the world if you do not have a person or people that are right in front of you. It's the best when you do. I absolutely love it. And we do have. We have great friends that. Where we live. But when I say, like my ride or die, the people that are truly pouring into my life in a biblical way, they don't live near me. And so. And that's okay. But you find ways. That's the beautiful thing about technology today, is that you can find community literally anywhere in the world. And I love that. It was so cute. My mom and dad, I talked to them the other day and they moved to a new state to be where my sister Melissa is and with her family. And she has five kids, she and her husband. And so my parents have now, I guess it's been just about a year that they've lived on the east coast and they've never lived outside of California. Like, born and raised. That's a big difference. And so they're in this little community. And my dad said we met some new friends. And my dad is 82 and my mom's 75 years old. And they're spry and spunky and great and all of that, but it was the cutest story. And I'm like, see, you're never too old to start making new friends.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

And I said, how did you. How did you make new friends, dad? And he said, well, was thinking, this is so cute.

[A]

I wish you guys.

[B]

It is. I wish you guys knew my dad because my mom and dad are. They're just great people. But my dad said, well, there was a. Like a. Kind of a Bible study in our community. So we, we went and they said, no, everyone is very nice. Not a lot of people talk to us just because whatever, they're new and everyone's a little older too. So I think they were just quiet people. And apparently there were some books and videos, DVDs that a guy had on the table that you could pick up and read or borrow. And a couple of the books or the videos had my brother on the COVID of them. And my dad picked one up and he said to the guy behind the Table. He said, oh, do you know this guy personally? Like, holding up the COVID And the guy goes, no, I don't know him. He goes, well, have you ever watched this video? And he just said, oh, well, yeah, he's a. He's a famous person. He was an actor, but he's, you know, pretty good evangelist now. And. And my dad goes, oh, okay. And he puts it down and turns and walks away. And the guy goes, well, well, why, that's Kirk Cameron. Do you. Have you ever seen any of his stuff? And my dad goes, yeah, a little bit. That. That's my son. And then just walks away because my

[A]

dad just thinks he's amazing.

[B]

Just so funny. He's like, drop the mic, you know. So he walks away. Well, anyway, the guy goes on. Then there's the luncheon. They're sitting there, they kind of go through the Bible study. And at the very end, he said, oh, and by the way, Kirk Cameron's dad is here and announces it. And he's like, Mr. Cameron, would you like to come up and say the closing prayer? Which my dad freaked out about because he just, like, he'll cry if he publicly prays. He just. He gets so emotional and.

[A]

Wait, I love that.

[B]

So cute.

[A]

So cute.

[B]

So he panics and. And. But anyway, because the. Then the guy announced it, he goes, then we had all these people that just wanted to come talk to us, and then we. We had. We made all these friends.

[A]

Wait, that's so cute. I'm obsessed. It is so true. You never graduate from, like, having to put yourself out there and make new friends. Hey, we got to learn from your dad. That is. That's beautiful.

[B]

Yeah, it was. It was pretty adorable. So community can come in all forms, in person, online. You're never too young, too old to make. Make new friends. But it really is important to find the type of people that you want to be in community with, because if they're not pushing you in the right ways or just hanging, not even pushing you, but hanging out with you in ways that build you up, encourage you, bring joy to your life, then you might want to find another group of people.

[A]

Totally. I always say, you know, friends are like the flu. You're gonna catch whatever they got. Like, if you're around them, you're gonna catch it. I mean, you just. You can't. You can't get away from it. You're going to become like those that you surround yourself with. And so if you're surrounding yourself with a bunch of negative people and complaining people, you're gonna naturally start being more negative and complaining. Or if you surround yourself with people who gossip all the time or people who, I mean, you have to really look at, man, who. Who are my people? What. What's my circle looking like? And are they people who are really wholeheartedly chasing after Jesus? Am I okay with becoming justice like them? And that's why, for me, surrounding myself with people that I'm like, man, I'm so inspired by the way you live your life. I am so inspired by the way you love your spouse. I am so moved by the way you love Jesus and love people and some of my very best friends. Like, those are the people that I. I do life with or those that I'm truly so inspired by. And we confess regularly. We hold each other accountable. We do life together. I love that you were talking about even just doing Bible studies. Like, we open up the word of God together and it's like, hey, what do we. I love that your friend asked you that. Like, what are you learning in. In the scriptures and, like, talking through, like, what God's teaching you? I think is. Is so important. And you look at even, like, we serve a communal God. Like God in and of himself is community. Even the Trinity, God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. We were made from community for community. We can't do life alone. We weren't made to do life alone.

[B]

We weren't.

[A]

And I think too. I've just. I've just so seen. It's just. It's beautiful. God's design is just beautiful. And we're supposed to do life with one another. And I've just seen that in my own life. We need those people who are going to call out our blind spots, but also, you know, bring us the feet of Jesus. I've thought about the. The man on the mat who. His friends, like, lowered him down the

[B]

roof, and because of their. Because of their faith, he was. He was healed. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, how often do we. We're trying to, like, get ourself there, and we're. We're stuck on the mat and we can't get where to go because we're not doing life in community. I mean, has that been true for you? Have you had moments where you're like, I feel stuck on the mat, and you had to have your friends literally, like, carry you to take you before Jesus.

[B]

I know that people have. I honestly feel like I have would not have come through the entertainment industry for the last 40 years in the way that I have, which has been very Positive without all the people praying for me. There are so many people that I've never met before that have sent messages or that I eventually met, but saying, like, we've been praying for you since you were a little girl, and it is so honoring that they would do that. But I know those prayers have just carried me to kind of go through entertainment unscathed in that way.

[A]

Yeah, praise God.

[B]

Yeah, praise God for sure. Okay. Should we answer a listener question?

[A]

Yeah, let's do it.

[B]

This is from Carrie Ann. If you've made attempts to reconcile with a fellow Christian but they don't want to, what do you do?

[A]

Candace, what do you do? I'll let you answer that one first. That's a really good question, because conflict in relationships is inevitable.

[B]

Yes, It's. There's always going to be conflict somewhere along, along the road, and not. Not everyone's going to want to reconcile because you might not see eye to eye on it. And I think it feels more hurtful when it's a fellow Christian.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know what the circumstances and whether it's a theological issue or someone just did something that hurt your feelings and they don't think that they were in the wrong or whatever, don't want to acknowledge it. I think that Jesus teaches us to forgive. I think that's the first thing. Whether someone. If they don't want to reconcile, it's okay. They don't have to. It doesn't mean that you can hold a grudge and not extend forgiveness, but you can forgive and still choose to have boundaries and not continue a friendship with them. So it just, it depends on. On what it is that you want out of it. But I would say your piece if, if you want to reconcile that you would have attempt to do that. And if they choose not to, it's really out of your hands at that point.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And I've had relationships where it's felt like that on different sides, but it's hard. It's like we. We were made to. We want to, like, always be good with everybody. And so feeling like you can't reconcile is a really hard place to be. But that's where it's just like ultimate surrender, where you're like, lord, I have done my part and I just have to give it to you. I'm not meant to carry this. I love what you said of as long as it's up to you. Like, our role is to forgive. Our role is to pray. Our. Our role is to not carry any bitterness or resentment or you know, when someone starts talking about that person, have like a scoured look on our face or make some comment, you know, but just to the Bible says don't repay evil with evil. Even if they're in the wrong and they've done something wrong. Bless them, love them, pray for them. Even if that looks like from afar, even if that looks like with some boundaries up. But yeah, I think that's the best posture we can take is just one of, of love and forgiveness and strive for unity. Try to make amends. And if it's not, if it's not, if it's not possible, then be like, okay, God, it's yours.

[B]

And I would pray for that peace that you would have peace. Especially when they're not willing to reconcile that God would give you a peace that you're not turning and spinning that relationship in your mind constantly that you could move on from it. So hope that helps, Carrie Ann. Okay, guys, come back next week. And don't forget we have a free Dare to be True guide for you this season. It's [e-mail] along with a link for Maddie's book, which is what started this whole conversation. I hope that you'll join me and other listeners in the new Together community where members encourage each other, join in monthly challenges, and have a private podcast chat. You can find those [e-mail] together. Until next time, be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment. All rights reserved. Kayak gets my flight, hotel and rental car right so I can tune out travel advice. That's just plain wrong, bro.

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