Sometimes it seems the Bible gives us conflicting guidance. For example, in Philippians 4:4 the Apostle Paul exhorts us to rejoice in the Lord always, and in case we didn’t hear him the first time, he repeats, again I say rejoice. Christ-followers should be rejoicing people. That would seem to say we should always be positive, have smiles on our faces, and never feel sad. But then in Romans, the same Apostle Paul tells us to weep with those who weep.

King David in the Psalms repeatedly poured out his rawest grief and deepest questions to God. Over half of the Psalms are called Psalms of lament.

Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion (Psalm 77:7-9)?

That doesn’t sound much like rejoicing in the Lord always. In fact, it is a lament—a prayer of pain, a raw, honest expression of grief and sorrow. Think of how Jesus lamented in the Garden of Gethsemane when he confessed My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. And on the cross, he cried out with a loud voice, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? And there’s an entire book in the Old Testament called Lamentations!

Even a brief survey of Scripture confirms those who follow Christ will have times of lament in their lives. Somehow, we’ve often overlooked that biblical practice so many Christians feel guilty when they lament. But honest lament is not only permitted, it is encouraged in God’s Word. Could it be you need to learn to lament?

Please understand I’m not talking about throwing a pity party every time your feelings are hurt! But feeling sorrow and pain and hurt when life throws unexpected bad news or difficult dark days our way should lead us to honest and candid prayers of lament. The Bible gives us some guidance on expressing our laments—laments which lead to acceptance or deliverance or guidance and eventually to joy, whatever your need may be.