I’m examining Christian lamenting. You could describe it as a prayer language, which God encourages us to use when we’re in deep grief or anger or confusion. But this desperate prayer, as raw and painful as it may be, intentionally maintains trust in God’s character. Some have characterized lamenting as “crying human but lamenting Christian.”

I have a note taped to my desk that says, “Today I will not complain about anything!” It’s there to remind me complaining in general is not good, not biblical, and should not be the language of a Christ-follower. Yet when David was hiding in a cave, running for his life from King Saul, he begins Psalm 142 like this:

With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him (Psalm 142:1-2).

He complains! Guess he never saw a sign like mine! But here’s the thing: David is lamenting to the Lord about a very grievous, frightening situation. There’s a difference in biblical laments and sinful complaints. Remember when the children of Israel were in the wilderness, having been miraculously rescued from slavery in Egypt. And what did they do? They complained! They complained about the food, about missing what they had in Egypt, about not having water, and they complained to Moses and to God. That is sinful complaining.

I’ve done more than my share of it, too, haven’t you? From complaining about the weather to having to deal with a difficult coworker or not getting a raise, complaints can truly become our language. We have to be intentional about not complaining and griping, and truly learning to give thanks in everything, as the Bible says.

But a biblical lament is not a complaint against God; it is an appeal to God, and it’s based on trust in who God is, on what he’s done for you in the past, on his very character. Lamenting should move you along toward finding that peace that passes understanding, even when your questions are not answered. Complaining, on the other hand, will keep you mired in selfish attitudes and bring you down.