There is power in asking. Think about it in the business world. Selling is asking, isn’t it? I remember when training for sales with IBM I was taught to ask for the order and not to be shy about it. To ask again and again. And I was carefully taught how to ask. So, there’s no doubt that there is power in asking. So, why are we often shy and reticent to ask for something?

Well, for one reason, asking for something is humbling, isn’t it? It’s admitting a need and acknowledging that you don’t have total control in some area. You need something that you don’t have and you have to admit it.

Also, asking sets you up for rejection. The answer could be “No.” Recently I was in a position of asking for something really significant; it wasn’t for myself but for an important project at my church. I knew who to ask, but for weeks I procrastinated about asking because I didn’t want to get a negative response. When finally I asked, the reception I received was far more favorable and pleasant than I had imagined. But regardless of the response to my request, as long as I didn’t ask there was no way I was going to get it!

There was a lot of pride in my attitude toward asking. If the answer was no, I would have to tell everyone involved and I might look foolish. Or I might lose their confidence in me. So, instead of asking, I wasted time worrying about how I would look to others if the answer was no. Not only foolish of me, but prideful as well.

In the book of James we read, “You do not have because you do not ask God” (James 4:2b). I wonder how many blessings we’ve missed for ourselves and others because we simply have not asked God. Please understand, I’m not talking about asking for frivolous things or for selfish reasons. But as Christ-followers we have a Heavenly Father who invites us to ask him for what we truly need, for blessings for ourselves and others. He expects us, as his children, to ask him for help, and yet how often we do not have what he would give us because we do not ask.

A few years ago, I was stuck in an airport for two days because of weather-related cancellations, trying to get home, trying to locate my luggage, standing in long lines and hoping to get on a flight soon. As I was standing in one long line with probably fifty other people, a woman who looked like she had some authority walked by, and I just nicely stopped her and asked her a question. She said, “Come to my office,” so I followed her and for about an hour she made phone calls and arrangements, and I walked out of there with a free hotel for the night and a seat on a flight the next day. I asked and got special treatment, not because I deserved it any more than the others in that line, but because I asked.

As I said earlier, studies show that women are far more reluctant to ask things for themselves than men are. For example, men are more likely to ask for a raise than women are, and when they do ask, women ask for much less than men do. Women will freely ask for the benefit of others but are reluctant to ask something for themselves.

Notice how freely children ask for things. They don’t hesitate to ask Mom or Dad for whatever it is they want at the moment. And they keep asking until often we parents give in just because they keep asking. Jesus told a parable about a widow who kept asking an uncaring and unkind judge for justice against her adversary. Finally the judge decides to grant her request, not because he wanted to do the right thing, but because she kept bothering him. Jesus said, “And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly” (Luke 18:7-8a).

In other words, we have a kind and loving God to ask, not a wicked judge, and yet often we give up asking him to meet our needs. Jesus taught us to keep on asking; don’t quit. What have you given up on asking for? Jesus taught us to be persistent in asking.

In all areas of our lives we have to ask for things if we’re ever going to get what we need, succeed at our jobs, complete our tasks. . . whatever! But of course we don’t always get what we ask for, do we?

What are some of the reasons that we don’t get what we ask for? In James 4 we are told:

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures (James 4:3).

Motives—what are our motives for asking? Receiving what we ask for depends largely on why we are asking for it. So, we have to examine our motives. Asking God—or anyone else, for that matter—for frivolous things, unnecessary things that are simply for our own selfish desires, just doesn’t motivate God or people to want to grant our requests.

I remember a woman asking me to pray that God would send her a husband. Well, in itself that’s not a bad request, but her whole motivation was selfish: I want a husband to take care of me. I don’t like being single. God owes me a husband. That was her attitude, and it wouldn’t impress God or anyone else, I don’t think.

Secondly, we sometimes don’t get what we ask for because we don’t know how to ask. For example, be specific in what you ask for. If you need some money for a very good reason, not because you’ve been a poor steward of your money, you should be clear about why you need the money, how it will be used, and how much you really need. If you’re asking someone to donate money to a good cause, be prepared to give a good explanation of how the money will be used and the good it will do.

When you’re asking for a change in circumstances, like a better work environment, instead of asking that the boss make the situation better for you, ask for the change because it will benefit the company or organization. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself what would motivate that person to want to grant your request.

Maybe you’re job hunting right now, or looking for a raise or a promotion. If so, you really need to know how to ask, because the way you ask will in large part determine your success. And the way you ask will be controlled by the questions you ask yourself.

For example, do you ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I not able to find a job?” Those kind of questions will simply discourage you. You’re telling yourself negatives that affect the way you behave. Are you thinking: I’m too old, or I’m overqualified, or I’m just not aggressive enough? That kind of thinking just provides you with an excuse for why you’re not getting the answers you want.

Instead, ask What can I do to make a better impression on an interview? Or, How can I show that my age is an asset and not a liability? Now you’re asking yourself questions that can lead to positive results. These are constructive questions, not destructive ones.

If you want to ask better questions, begin by examining the questions you are asking yourself. And be ready to change the way you’ve been thinking. Once again I’m reminded that everything begins in our thought lives. If you think wrong, you ask wrong. If you think according to Philippians 4:8—thoughts that are true, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy—that kind of thinking will lead you to positive, constructive questions. And that certainly includes the questions you ask yourself!

I find that I must be intentional about choosing good questions to ask myself—questions that will help me rather than discourage me. I have to bring those questions—those thoughts—into captivity and make them obedient to Christ, as we read in 2 Corinthians 10:5.

So, today think about the questions you ask yourself. Are they constructive or destructive? Asking right questions begins with right thinking.

Ask and keep on asking. That is a principle that we see in scripture. We are to be askers—and persistent askers, at that. Have you learned the power of asking? We have to ask with right motives, we have to be specific when we ask, and we can’t give up easily. That is true if we’re asking something from God or from our boss—or anyone else for that matter.

There’s an important biblical teaching when it comes to asking God for something.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him (1 John 5:14-15).

The Apostle John gives us a really startling principle—one that almost seems too good to be true. Whatever we ask, we have! Is that what he said? Yes, that’s what he said, but there’s a qualifier—if we ask according to his will. So, that means our motive has to be for the glory of God, not just for our pleasure. And it also means that we need to know what God’s will is so that we can ask in accordance with it.

You can’t short-change God’s Word in your life, because knowing God’s will in any particular situation is a function of knowing the Word better and better. God reveals his will through his Word and through his Spirit, who usually reveals his will to us through the Word of God. So, how much time do you spend in God’s Word?

Romans 12:1 and 2 says that we can know what God’s good, pleasing and perfect will is by offering ourselves as living sacrifices and being transformed by the renewing of our minds. That transformation happens more and more as we immerse our life in the truth of God’s Word.

Do you see the progression here? We need to know God’s will in order to ask appropriately and therefore get what we ask for. In order to know God’s will, we must know God’s Word and be sensitive to the Spirit of God who resides within us, as Christ-follo...