Podcast
The Connected Life
Hosted by Justin and Abi Stumvoll · EN
The Connected Life is a thought-provoking conversation about all the beautiful and messy ups and downs of life. Join Life Consultants Justin & Abi Stumvoll as they share vulnerable stories and practical wisdom that will lead you on a journey of connecting with yourself, others, and the world right in front of you. Their authentic, no-BS style will make you laugh, challenge you to dig deep, face your fears, and inspire you to love yourself and others more.
22episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
372: The Fantasy of Fixing People Pt. 3
Feb 1601:05:27Tap to summarizeMost of us don't set out to control people—we think we're helping. We say it's love, protection, or just wanting the best. But underneath, codependency often looks like playing God, trying to save others from pain so we don't have to feel it ourselves. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the subtle ways control sneaks into relationships: when someone else's choices feel like a reflection on us, when regret from our past makes us overprotective, or when fear of future consequences drives us to intervene. Through honest stories about friends, family, and faith, they unpack why pain is sometimes the very teacher people need, and how trust, boundaries, and invitation create space for real growth. If you've ever exhausted yourself fixing others or confused control for love, this conversation will help you release the weight and find freedom in letting people be fully themselves. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →371: The Savior Complex Trap Pt. 2
Feb 901:04:15Tap to summarizeSo many of us grow up believing that love means fixing, managing, or predicting other people. It feels safer to silence our needs than risk being "too much." But what if that survival strategy is actually what keeps us disconnected? In part two of this three part series, Justin and Abi continue their conversation on codependency, sharing how growing up in chaotic homes taught them to avoid vulnerability and chase the illusion of peace. They unpack what happens when we don't know our own needs, why denial keeps us stuck, and how self-awareness becomes the key to real connection. Along the way, they explore how faith often reinforced control and what it looks like to reframe love through trust, autonomy, and compassion. If you've ever felt like your very existence is a burden, or you're exhausted from controlling people in the name of care, this episode will help you find freedom and breathe again. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →370: Growing Up Codependent Pt. 1
Feb 200:57:56Tap to summarizeSo many of us confuse codependency with love—believing that fixing, managing, or rescuing others is the way to feel safe and connected. But what if that "care" is really control in disguise? In part one of this three part series, Justin and Abi get personal about how childhood instability, unprocessed grief, and toxic empathy shaped their patterns of over-responsibility. They unpack how codependency forms as a survival strategy, why hyper-vigilance can feel like compassion, and the hidden cost of carrying emotions that aren't yours. From childhood memories to marriage struggles, they share what it took to untangle those dynamics and begin choosing connection without control. If you've ever felt exhausted from fixing everyone else, wondered why you can't stay out of someone's emotions, or longed for healthier boundaries, this conversation is for you! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →369: Emotional Immaturity in Relationships Pt.3
Jan 2601:04:16Tap to summarizeMost of us want to be emotionally mature—calm in conflict, clear about our needs, and kind even when we're hurting. But no one really teaches us how to get there. In this episode, Justin, Abi, and Rachel unpack one of the most overlooked skills of emotional maturity: distress tolerance. They explore how learning to stay present with uncomfortable feelings—like shame, rejection, or fear—can completely shift the way we handle conflict, communicate needs, and repair in relationships. You'll hear honest stories about moments when they wanted to escape, react, or fix things fast—and how they learned to stay grounded instead. If you've ever been accused of overreacting… or felt powerless to stop yourself from shutting down, blaming, or spiraling in conflict, this conversation offers a compassionate pathway to building inner strength. Don't miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →368: Emotional Maturity: Letting Love In Pt. 2
Jan 1901:02:35Tap to summarizeMost of us say we want to be loved — but for many of us, when it shows up at our doorstep, it stirs up panic, self-doubt, and the urge to run. But what if allowing people to love us could feel comfortable and completely normal? In this episode, Justin, Abi, and their long-time friend Rachel unpack what it means to build emotional distress tolerance—not just for pain, but for goodness. They explore why being seen, supported, or chosen can feel so threatening when your nervous systems is used to disappointment or self-reliance. From unexpected gifts to unwavering kindness, they share personal stories of the discomfort that arises when love challenges your core beliefs about worth, safety, and identity. Lastly they discuss how expanding your capacity to sit with uncomfortable feelings—without numbing, blaming, or ejecting—can radically transform your relationships. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by love, unsure how to receive it, or scared it might not last—this conversation will help you grow your capacity to let love in, one moment at a time. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →367: The Key to Emotional Maturity Pt. 1
Jan 1200:58:44Tap to summarizeMost of us were never taught how to be with uncomfortable emotions—only how to avoid, suppress, or get overwhelmed by them. The unfortunate result is disconnection in relationships and more suffering. But what if the real secret to healing and creating secure relationships isn't about fixing the pain, but learning how to be with it? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by longtime friend and consultant Rachel to unpack the rarely talked about skill of emotional distress tolerance—what it is, why we need it, and how it becomes the key to emotional maturity. They get personal, sharing how PTSD, eating disorders, conflict avoidance, and financial stress exposed the places where they felt fragile—and how they built emotional strength, one small challenge at a time. If you've ever found yourself avoiding painful or difficult circumstances and want the skills necessary to get healthy and become a badass at facing life, this convo is a game-changer! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →366: A Nervous System Reset
Jan 500:59:09Tap to summarizeMost of us don't realize how disconnected we are from our bodies, our emotions, and the present moment. We live in constant motion, pushing through exhaustion, ignoring discomfort, and calling it normal. But no amount of thinking our way through life will ever replace the deep safety that comes from being connected to ourselves. Justin and Abi are back from their sabbatical... sort of. In this episode they explore how dysregulation in the nervous system affects everything from our relationships to our ability to live out the healing we fight so hard to experience. They share personal stories of burnout and living in survival, and how their recent sabbatical has been a complete game-changer. If you've ever felt like you're doing all the "right things" and still not making the progress you hope for, this episode is an invitation to slow down and start fresh. Your nervous system doesn't need you to try harder—it needs to feel safe. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →365: The One Thing That Changed Our Marriage Pt. 1 - Greatest Hits
Dec 2901:04:59Tap to summarizeWe've all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we're not proud of. Suddenly, we're asking, "How did I get here, and how can I stop this from happening again?" Yet, we often repeat these cycles, unsure of how to break free. It's challenging for everyone involved—but there are solutions! In part one of this two-part episode, Justin and Abi explore how our nervous system can throw a massive monkey wrench into relational dynamics. They also share critical telltale signs of a dysregulated nervous system. Lastly, they open up about their own marriage and apologize to one another for how their dysregulation has impacted each other. This two part series is a game changer for any relationship. You won't want to miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →364: There's Hope for Your Relationship - Greatest Hits
Dec 2201:09:10Tap to summarizeMost of us don't realize how much of our relationship pain is rooted in old stories—until those stories start playing out with the person we love most. It's easy to blame our partners for the chaos in a relationship. But what if the truth is that we're all just scared kids trapped in adult bodies, equally making messes as we search for safety? In this raw and redemptive episode, Justin and Abi share the full arc of their healing journey—from trauma bonding and codependency to finding internal safety, building emotional resilience, and learning to love without self-abandonment. They reflect on the missteps, the meltdowns, the moments that nearly broke them, and the powerful shifts that changed everything. Together, they paint a picture of what it means to stop trying to fix each other and start healing from the inside out. If you've ever felt stuck in patterns you don't understand, judged yourself for how you react, or wondered if your relationship could really change—this episode is for you. Don't miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Transcribe →363: Love that never fails - Greatest Hits
Dec 1501:03:47Tap to summarizeIn this heartfelt episode, Justin and Abi discuss the profound impact grief and suffering have on humanity, exploring how the radical love of God can overcome the despair and hopelessness we all face during overwhelming and painful experiences. Justin shares his personal journey of nearly losing Abi to her illness, revealing how his breaking point became a turning point for hope and freedom. Abi reflects on how her struggles have redefined her understanding of God's love. Together, they offer a fresh perspective on suffering and fondly recount the goodness of a Creator who has remained tangible and faithful throughout their journey. If life has been a bumpy ride for you, this episode offers a new lens—helping you see beyond the suffering to a faithful, loving Creator who willingly steps into the messiest parts of the human condition. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
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