Summary4 min read

Episode Summary: The Daily Blade #209 – Loving Your Wife Starts With Loving Jesus

Podcast: The Daily Blade: Joby Martin & Kyle Thompson
Hosts: Joby Martin & Kyle Thompson
Episode: #209 – Loving Your Wife Starts With Loving Jesus
Date: October 20, 2025

1. Overview

This episode kicks off a week-long focus on biblical manhood and specifically explores what it means to be a godly husband. Pastor Joby Martin roots the discussion in Ephesians 5, emphasizing that loving your wife starts with loving Jesus first. The core message is clear: spiritual leadership in marriage begins with personal devotion to Christ, not just practical tips or relationship "hacks."

2. Key Discussion Points and Insights

Rooting in Scripture (Ephesians 5:21-33)

Joby reads and breaks down Ephesians 5, focusing on the expectation for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church (00:20–02:15).
- Key emphasis on mutual submission:
  "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
- Addresses the tendency for men to focus on their wives’ roles and redirects attention:
  
  “If you'd spend less time on how she should act and more time on where you need to tighten up, trust me, your marriage would be better by the time you get to verse 25.” – Joby Martin (00:39)
The calling of a husband is sacrificial and sanctifying love, not self-serving authority.

The Two Biggest Decisions in Life

Joby highlights marriage as the second most critical decision, after deciding who is Lord of your life (02:16).

“The first biggest decision that you will ever make in your life is who is your Lord.” – Joby Martin (02:22)
The ability to be a godly husband hinges on having first surrendered to Christ.

Loving Your Wife Flows From Loving Jesus

If you don’t revere, know, or love Jesus, you won’t have the foundation needed for biblical marriage (02:36–03:20).
- The necessity of the Spirit’s power over mere practical advice:
  
  “Tips and tricks will not be enough. Communication styles will not be enough. A book of love languages will not be enough. You need the power of God working through you.” – Joby Martin (03:03)

Abiding in Christ as the Source of Marital Fruitfulness

Citing John 15:4–5, Joby underscores that nothing fruitful can come apart from Christ:

“Apart from me, you can do nothing. In other words, do you know what you can do apart from Christ to improve your marriage? The answer is nothing.” – Joby Martin (03:35)
True improvement in marriage flows from deepening relationship with Jesus: drawing nearer, abiding in His Word, and removing sin that impedes that relationship.

The Fruit of the Spirit in Marriage

Joby names the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) as essential qualities for husbands:
- Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (03:56)
“We are talking about fruit that is produced by the Spirit in you. And this is what you are going to need to be the husband that God has called you to be.” – Joby Martin (04:05)

The Right Order: Move Toward Jesus First

Rather than moving toward your wife to “fix” your marriage, first move toward Jesus, so you can be the man and husband God intends (04:25).

“For the sake of your marriage and the sake of your own joy and the sake of your children, first start moving towards Jesus so that you can be the man that God has called you to be.” – Joby Martin (04:31)

3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

"Who you marry will be the second biggest decision that you ever make in your entire life. The first biggest decision ... is who is your Lord?” (02:19)
“If you don't know Jesus, I don't know how to tell you to be a husband. Because the Bible's gonna tell us that we are to love our wives like Christ loved us.” (02:51)
“Tips and tricks will not be enough. Communication styles will not be enough... You need the power of God working through you.” (03:04)
“Apart from me, you can do nothing... to improve your marriage? The answer is nothing.” (03:38)
“This week we're not talking about tips and tricks. We are talking about fruit that is produced by the Spirit in you.” (04:05)

4. Timestamps for Important Segments

00:20–02:15: Ephesians 5 explained, the role of husbands in loving sacrificially.
02:16–02:36: The two most important life decisions – lordship, then marriage.
02:37–03:20: Why knowing and loving Jesus is core to biblical husbandry.
03:21–03:55: Abiding in Christ and scriptural foundation for marriage transformation.
03:56–04:25: Fruit of the Spirit is the mark of a godly husband, not superficial techniques.
04:26–end: The exhortation to move toward Jesus for the sake of marriage and family.

5. Closing Thoughts

Joby Martin lays a practical yet profound foundation for biblical marriage: loving your wife starts with loving Jesus. The episode never veers into marital “life hacks,” but instead insists that authentic spiritual transformation is what yields a fruitful, joy-filled marriage. This sets the stage for the upcoming week of devotionals on manhood and marriage.

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Transcript3 lines

[00:01]
A
Welcome to the Daily Blade. The word of God is described as the sword of the spirit, the primary spiritual weapon in the Christian's armor against the forces of evil. Your hosts are Joby Martin and Kyle Thompson, and they stand ready to equip men for the fight. Let's sharpen up.
[00:21]
B
Welcome back to the Daily Blade. We're going to spend all week on what it means to be a godly husband. We're going to be rooted in. In Ephesians, chapter 5, beginning with verse 21, the Bible says, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Verse 22 says, Wives. Now, there's a couple of more verses after this, but honestly, fellas, this is not for you. That's for her. And if you'd spend less time on how she should act and more time on where you need to tighten up, trust me, your marriage would be better by the time you get to verse 25. The Bible says, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. He who, for no one, has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. All right, boys, who you marry will be the second biggest decision that you ever make in your entire life. That's right. The girl that you decide to marry will be the second biggest decision that you ever make in your life. The first biggest decision that you will ever make in your life is who is your Lord? And so the number one decision is talked about here. In chapter 5, verse 21, it says, Submit to one another. That's talking about your marriage. So the way that you are going to be able to submit to one another as a husband and wife, is this out of reverence for Christ? So let me ask you, boys, do you revere Christ? If you don't revere Christ if you don't Know Jesus. If you don't love Jesus, if you have not submitted and surrendered your life to the lordship of Jesus Christ, then I do not know how to tell you how to be a husband. I mean, at that point, it's just a crapshoot. Hopefully you chose wisely and your personalities match up, okay? But if you don't know Jesus, I don't know how to tell you to be a husband. Because the Bible's gonna tell us that we are to love our wives like Christ loved us. And what you are going to need in order to be the husband that God has called you to be is you are going to need the power of the Spirit of God working in and through you to pull this off. Tips and tricks will not be enough. Communication styles will not be enough. A book of love languages will not be enough. You need the power of God working through you. And the good news is, if you have surrendered your life to Christ, then anything is possible for you. John 15:4. Jesus says this, Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit apart from me, you can do nothing. In other words, do you know what you can do apart from Christ to improve your marriage? The answer is nothing. But what you need to do in order to improve your marriage is draw closer and closer to Jesus to lean into his word, to abide in his word, to cultivate the things that stir your affections for the Lord, to cut out the sin that is hindering your relationship with the Lord. And Jesus says that as you abide in him and he abides in you, then he through you, will produce or bear much fruit. And what is the fruit that Jesus produces in the life of the believer? Well, we don't have to guess. Galatians 5. 22 says. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Against such things, there is no law. So this week we're not talking about tips and tricks. We are talking about fruit that is produced by the Spirit in you. And this is what you are going to need to be the husband that God has called you to be. So before you even start moving towards your wife, for the sake of your marriage and the sake of your own joy and the sake of your children, first start moving towards Jesus so that you can be the man that God has called you to be. Come back tomorrow and we'll keep digging in.
[05:04]
A
Thank you for listening to today's episode. Before you go, if you want to help, equip other men for the fight, share this podcast around and leave us a five star rating and review. Stay sharp.