The Daily Blade, Episode #210 - Joby Martin // Why A Godly Husband Puts Her First

Release Date: October 21, 2025
Hosts: Joby Martin & Kyle Thompson

Episode Overview

In this devotional episode, Pastor Joby Martin and Kyle Thompson dig into biblical foundations for Christian marriage, focusing specifically on the call for husbands to embrace selfless, Christ-like love. Drawing from Ephesians 5 and Philippians 2, the discussion challenges listeners—especially husbands—to center their marriages on mutual submission, humility, and service, reflecting the sacrificial example of Jesus.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Foundation of a Godly Marriage (00:20)

• Mutual Submission:
  The hosts underscore that a strong Christian marriage starts with the principle of mutual submission, as outlined in Ephesians 5:21:

  “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

• Not Built on Worldly Things:
  • Marriage shouldn’t be founded on “finances, sex, or romance” but on Christ and sincere friendship.
  • Commitment is important, but it’s a “byproduct of the fact that you have been redeemed by the gospel.”

2. Commitment vs. Submission (01:30)

• Married to the Person, Not to Marriage Itself:
  • Joby emphasizes that lasting marriages are not about abstract commitment or endurance, but about daily, practical submission to the person you married:

  “Because you’re not married to marriage. You’re married to that person.”

• Biblical Model from Philippians 2:
  • Paul’s call for believers to “do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit,” but with humility, to treat others (and specifically, one’s spouse) as more significant than oneself.

3. Evaluating Selfishness and Scorekeeping (02:30)

• Challenging Men on Selfish Expectations:
  Joby gets real with listeners, asking:

  “Do you give in order to get, like in your marriage? Are you keeping score?” (02:34)

  • The wrong attitude is thinking, “I pay all the bills, so she ought to give me sex and sandwiches? Don’t do that.”
• Gospel-Rooted Giving:
  The standard is not reciprocity but sacrificial love, modeled by Christ.

4. How Far Does Submission Go? (03:30)

• Some May Worry About Being Taken Advantage Of:
  Joby addresses common fears:

  “If I treat her as more important than me, what if I get taken advantage of? … You should take it as far as Jesus took it towards you.” (03:40)

• Ultimate Example: Jesus’ Humility
  • Philippians 2:5-8 is read in full, highlighting how Christ “emptied himself... humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

5. Practical Application For Husbands (04:30)

• Immediate Next Steps:
  • Go home and apologize for selfishness.
  • Ask: “How can I help you? How can I serve you?”
  • Like Jesus, “dress yourself in the form of a servant” and treat your wife as “more important, more valuable, more significant than you”—serving her wants and needs.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mutual Submission:

  "Essentially what it means to mutually submit is just, you make somebody else's deal, a bigger deal than your deal."
  — Joby Martin (00:36)

• On Marrying a Person, Not Marriage:

  "You're not married to marriage. You're married to that person."
  — Joby Martin (01:50)

• Calling Out Scorekeeping:

  “Do you give in order to get like in your marriage? Are you keeping score in your marriage? ... Don’t do that. That’s what the Bible says.”
  — Joby Martin (02:34)

• How Far Does Submission Go?:

  “You should take it as far as Jesus took it towards you.”
  — Joby Martin (03:40)

• On Serving Like Christ:

  “You are to treat your wife as if she is more important, more valuable, more significant than you, and serve her wants and needs.”
  — Joby Martin (05:16)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:20 – Ephesians 5 and the call to mutual submission, friendship as foundation
• 01:30 – Commitment vs. submission and what that looks like practically
• 02:30 – Addressing selfishness and the dangers of keeping score in marriage
• 03:30 – How far should a husband go in serving? Looking to Jesus as the ultimate example
• 04:30 – Practical steps: apologies, service, and servant-hearted actions

Tone & Style

• Encouraging, Direct, Challenging, and Pastoral:
  Joby speaks both candidly and compassionately, urging listeners to honestly assess themselves and model their lives on Christ’s sacrificial example.

Bottom Line

This episode calls husbands to a radically biblical standard: putting their wives before themselves, not out of obligation, but as a natural fruit of the gospel’s work in their lives. Listeners are challenged to abandon selfishness, reject transactional scorekeeping, and embody the servant-heart of Christ—starting today.