103 - The Past Times with Trae Crowder

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds – Episode 103: The Past Times with Trae Crowder

Introduction and Guest Introduction Released on December 9, 2024, episode 103 of The Dollop features comedian Trae Crowder as the guest. Hosted by Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds of All Things Comedy, the episode kicks off with Gareth welcoming Trae to the show. The hosts humorously discuss Trae's growing success, promoting his tour and upcoming special, "800 Pound Gorilla," set to release on January 21st. Trae engages in playful banter about his tuxedo cat, establishing a relaxed and comedic atmosphere right from the start.

Main Content

1. The Newspaper Guessing Game At approximately [02:20], the trio begins their signature segment: analyzing a random old newspaper. Trae is tasked with guessing the publication year without prior context. His initial guess of 1861—temporarily placing the discussion in the Civil War era—turns out to be 1889, as revealed by Dave Anthony at [05:44]. This slight miss sets the stage for the historical deep dive into the 1889 Pittsburgh Dispatch.

2. "Murder in Fashion" and Jack the Ripper Copycats The headline "Murder in Fashion" serves as the focal point for the episode's first major discussion ([06:17]). Dave introduces the topic by connecting it to the infamous Jack the Ripper, leading to a humorous exploration of murder trends in England during that period. Trae quips at [07:04], “Murder's also real hot right now. Very fashionable right now,” highlighting the dark humor inherent to the episode.

The conversation delves into the phenomenon of copycat killers, with Gareth sarcastically noting how these imitators undermine the original notoriety of figures like Jack the Ripper. Trae muses, “Copycats never become famous. They’re just trying to get in on that,” underscoring the absurdity of such behaviors.

3. "Stole a Brick House" – A Tale of Eviction and Vandalism At [25:27], the hosts introduce a bizarre story titled "Stole a Brick House." Ms. Jane Ross, a wealthy widow from Jefferson County, is the protagonist who neglects her property. Trae explains how eviction led neighbors to each take a brick from her unattended home, progressively dismantling it. Dave humorously summarizes, “Get free rubble,” as brick after brick is removed by the community.

The conversation evolves into a mock-analytical discussion on the motivations behind such acts, blending historical context with comedic exaggeration. Trae adds, “People are crazy around here,” emphasizing the ludicrous nature of the story while maintaining the episode’s lighthearted tone.

4. Coroner Jurisdiction Battles Later in the episode, around [58:51], the hosts examine a story about quarrelling coroners in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. The feud over jurisdiction in handling cases where injuries and deaths span multiple counties becomes fodder for their trademark satirical commentary. Trae jokes, “Traditional coroners now have Volt limits,” poking fun at the inefficiency and absurd bureaucracy depicted in the newspaper.

5. Additional Headlines and Comedic Interpretations Throughout the episode, Dave, Gareth, and Trae explore various other newspaper headlines, each sparking a flurry of jokes and historical insights. From peculiar robberies like the "Stole a Brick House" incident to exaggerated tales of coroner disputes, every story is dissected with a blend of humor and mock-serious analysis. Noteworthy is their take on societal norms of the 19th century, with Trae reflecting, “This was the era when a dude could just run away with a teenager and then switch sides,” drawing parallels to modern societal issues.

Reflections and Modern Parallels Interwoven with the historical discussions are reflections on contemporary society. The hosts draw humorous comparisons between past events and present-day issues, such as the impact of propaganda on public perception and the evolution of law enforcement practices. Trae’s anecdote about friends dealing with eviction and property neglect adds a personal touch, bridging the gap between history and today’s societal challenges.

Conclusion and Guest Promotion As the episode wraps up, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds turn their attention back to Trae Crowder, promoting his upcoming special, "Trash Daddy." They commend his performance throughout the episode, ensuring listeners are aware of his growing career. Trae humorously teases future appearances and interactions, maintaining the show’s engaging and friendly dynamic.

Notable Quotes

• Trae Crowder at [07:04]: “Murder's also real hot right now. Very fashionable right now.”
• Trae Crowder at [10:21]: “Maybe we can train them to not lie, and then they'll have to tell us when they murder."
• Trae Crowder at [44:50]: “Get free rubble.”
• Trae Crowder at [55:16]: "This is an Electric Man X man."

Final Thoughts Episode 103 of The Dollop masterfully blends historical analysis with sharp comedic wit, anchored by the dynamic interaction between Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and guest Trae Crowder. By dissecting quirky old newspaper headlines and relating them to both past and present societal quirks, the trio delivers an engaging and entertaining episode that resonates with both history buffs and comedy enthusiasts alike.

Transcript

[Unknown Announcer]

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour, and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okotsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Cheng, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, Trey Crowder. Hi, Trey.

[Trey Crowder]

What's up? It's about time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you for joining.

[Trey Crowder]

It is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you wanted to do it in person.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, that is true. I did. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I remembered that, and I didn't want to do it with you in person.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. So it just was never going to happen. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's never going to happen.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Just. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So close that opportunity off. And Dave also passed away two years ago, and we use an AI, so we don't want to let that cat out of the bag.

[Trey Crowder]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. Yep. He's. It's getting better, too. It's really learning his ticks. Yeah, it goes. It says, I'm going to block you a lot, too. Fucking. I like.

[Trey Crowder]

I like that kitty cat back there, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Trey Crowder]

Point out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, thank you.

[Trey Crowder]

I got a tuxedo cat that owns my household. Yeah, little like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I knew I liked you.

[Trey Crowder]

Cream and gray colored crackhead one, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cream and gray. Dave, jump in whenever. AI Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

I have an actual crackhead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, now we know Dave's real. All right, Trey, let's get into it. You. First of all, you are wildly successful. You're too big for this show.

[Trey Crowder]

Not true, but I appreciate it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, good. That was a test. You're going on tour and people can go to your website, Trey Crowder.com. but we should point out the Trey is spelled T, R A, E. Yes, I'm sure has gotten in the way of your life. And then also your special is coming out on 800 pound gorilla. When is that coming out?

[Trey Crowder]

January 21st.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so probably near when this will come out would be.

[Trey Crowder]

That would be great. That would be ideal if it works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we'll talk to Burns, our producer, who didn't tell you to record a local. And also take stories from the show for your other show that you did with Corey, Ryan Forester, who was on the show once and played a fart voice memo.

[Trey Crowder]

I know. I was. I was going to bring that up because, like, to hear Corey tell it, that was like a legendary moment in the history of your podcast. You know, the people, everyone. He's in the annals of the pastimes and the dollar anal. Yeah, Right. As it. As it were. And so I was, you know, I feel like I should tell people I'm the. I'm the second fill to the legendary, you know, fart man.

[Dave Anthony]

Corey, for your second. Your second part. Your second part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I tried to actually find some of my farts in my phone because I knew that was a thing you had done, but I think I've just, like, texted mine to him, and now they're just committed to the ether.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I have a folder. I. I don't think we. Yeah, he is a folder, and I don't think we want to open it up for our guests.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, everybody bring their farts every week. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That. We're like a fart promotion show. Even though Dave did have a fart.

[Dave Anthony]

We are setting up a1,800 number where people can just call in and put. Put their farts in. Just voicemail with your Farts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, 1, 800, yes. Fart was available. And boy, did we jump on that. But. All right, well, listen, Trey, this is not just a show about Corey's farts. We also go through this newspaper. You heard the intro. So how we like to start is the guest will guess what year they think this paper's from with no context. If you want a headline, Dave can give it to you. It's not going to help. And then I'll guess, and then Dave will probably say that you won the guessing game, even if you didn't.

[Trey Crowder]

I mean, what. So what's the range we're talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, we did a 1600 once.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't even know with Adam Conover, but he kept being like, this is fake.

[Trey Crowder]

So I think it removed the transcribe town crier.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it was like. It was like a guy who's like, imagine if trees took ladies.

[Dave Anthony]

That happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then we did a 2001 one recently, so that's kind of your range. But I would favor in the middle of those.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I must say 1861.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great guess. It's a great guess.

[Trey Crowder]

It just that just like, when I think 1800s, I think the Civil War era, because I'm from Tennessee and that's all we ever talked about when I was a kid, so. And I picked the beginning of it instead of the end for some reason. I don't know. Can I just say I defaulted to that part?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. Let it go, man.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, let it go. I mean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're wearing a Dodgers hat, so this podcast might have a civil war.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The podcast is hostile already.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Right off the bat. I know. Yeah, I've got, like. I've this at. Anybody doesn't know made this. If you're. If they're watching it, can they watch.

[Dave Anthony]

This or just some can watch.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, they can't watch it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Trey Crowder]

I do have a doctor's hat on. I'm also wearing a Lululemon shirt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Trey Crowder]

But I. But this is my real accent, I promise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No, you really are Los Angeles.

[Trey Crowder]

I've never made any know. That's kind of my whole thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You do yoga?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, a little bit. Now I can't get into tea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Trey Crowder]

I mean, sweet tea, obviously. Yes. I eat meat, of course. I don't compost either. I mean, I'm not. It's like, you know, it's all relative. I'm like. I'm like the biggest hillbilly in my, you know, Burbank neighborhood or whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, if you moved to Beverly Hills.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Now we have a sitcom.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, I think they did that once, but I don't remember.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Trey, so 1861. That's a good guess. I'm gonna go 1900.

[Dave Anthony]

You're a idiot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the year, Dave?

[Dave Anthony]

It's 1889.

[Trey Crowder]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trey wins. Trey wins. Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Wait, so it's like, prices, right. Rules, you can't go over?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's just the. Dave always says one time, I guess, the right year.

[Dave Anthony]

But, yeah, vibe wise, it was wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what he said.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And that's the same way with this one. Vibe wise, much more on top of it, Trey. You just. Dave, it's the Pittsburgh Dispatch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, nice.

[Dave Anthony]

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think there was a Sunday time for us to react to that. And I think we both did the right thing. Trey. Nothing.

[Trey Crowder]

All right. Pittsburgh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Trey Crowder]

This is when they came up with Putting Fries on sandwiches, which, by the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way, headline Shout out for Manny's.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

January 13, 1889. Year of our Lord Jesus Christ. Some circles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

Important man rides a mini motorcycle. Murder in Fashion is the headline.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's in Fashion?

[Dave Anthony]

Murder in Fashion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Murder.

[Trey Crowder]

See, the more things change, where they stay the same. Murder's Also real hot right now. Very fashionable right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Very much.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. So I didn't know that. You know, it had its moment in the sun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Murders having a moment.

[Trey Crowder]

It is. I mean, it objectively is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Murder is having a big name.

[Trey Crowder]

Murder's so hot right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's really hot.

[Trey Crowder]

Ask my white woman why everybody's doing it. Loves it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've got a murder.

[Dave Anthony]

A wave of bloodshed. This is one with a bunch of headlines. A wave of bloodshed sweeping with a resistant, resistant, resistless rush over England. Oh, A wave of bloodshed sweeping with a resist resistance Rush over England. Okay, There's a lot of. There's a lot of stories on the front page from England. So I don't know if they. This is like an English immigrant paper or something. But the police powerless. An epidemic of burglary Also worrying detectives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Secondary could be connected.

[Dave Anthony]

Murder is the fashionable thing. Just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sorry. Jose. Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

Jose.

[Trey Crowder]

Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Jose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's murdered. He's murdered a chair.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, what did the chair do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, keep going.

[Dave Anthony]

There's no victimless murder is the fashionable thing just now in England. The success of the Whitechapel fiend. Okay, that's Jack the Ripper.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

So he started a trend. This is not about Jack the Ripper. This is about a Jack the Ripper copycat.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. Because once you hear about, you know, so you're in England at this time and you hear about how he did it, like cutting them open and doing. You're just like, I gotta get in on that.

[Trey Crowder]

I've always thought that copycats are kind of weird. I mean, I guess, you know, they're not the most mentally stable, but it's like you never. The second guy never gets the, you know, the attention of the first guy. You know what I mean? Like, the copycats never become famous. Like, they, you know, like. I don't know what they're trying to get in on. Everybody's always that. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What about Ted, the opener?

[Dave Anthony]

IER two?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I. They got to spilling two.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Nobody cares.

[Dave Anthony]

No, they don't. But they. But I guess they do it because they think that they will get attention. Right?

[Trey Crowder]

I mean, that's what I've always assumed. Because otherwise, why do it exactly the same way? Plus, they just call it copycatting, so it makes it seem that way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That must really.

[Trey Crowder]

It's never worked once, so I don't know why anybody ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does it really piss off the copycatter. Like when people like, oh, a copycat are like, I'm doing my own stuff.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm taking the heads off. He's ripping. I'm. I'm.

[Trey Crowder]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm decapitating.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I don't know, man. I think they get into it. I think they purposefully just, you know, steal all the first guys material and just. Just only use that, you know, so they deserve to be called hack. Well, hacks is. Yeah, I don't know. They probably would like that, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're a hack. You're damn right.

[Trey Crowder]

I appreciate that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why I carry this little ax.

[Trey Crowder]

Also a bit of a slash, if I don't say so. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

So it has spurred many, many imitators to emulate his awful crimes. As. As the police and detectives seem unable to obtain any clue to the perpetrators, it is suggested that young Britons be trained to tell the truth so that when they do murder, they may go straight away and tell of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, that. Is that.

[Trey Crowder]

So that's what they think the problem is. Or the answer is. Just can't help but fib.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean? It's like, you know what?

[Trey Crowder]

Maybe not. You can't train them not to murder. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's out straight away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what?

[Trey Crowder]

Try that. But we maybe can train them to not lie, and then they'll have to tell us when they murder. And that's a step in the right direction.

[Dave Anthony]

What's the bigger crime? The killing of the lady? Or that saying, you didn't do it, your son's dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But the truth is, whoever did it is really in a bad spot because they're fibbing. We've got a fibbing issue. It's so similar to, we don't have a mass shooter problem. This is a mental health crisis.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, let's address the attitude of the people doing this rather than really try to address the obvious problem. We don't have a murder issue. We have a bunch of scoundrels not being honest.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, but you know, it's not. They didn't call him Jack the Fibber. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would be a great one.

[Trey Crowder]

He also wasn't being very forthcoming about it. One constable pitch that wasn't what people cared about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The real crime here is fibbing. We've got to jack the fibber on our head.

[Dave Anthony]

Tories are exulting because the Parnell Fund in America is growing smaller. Sackville's defense, admittedly weak. The Belgian queen and her daughter go into, oh, this must just be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you shifted To a new story.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, that's what I.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, I think. I think it's a description of what's coming up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. What is a coming attraction in the papers? Oh, cool.

[Trey Crowder]

Next time, Fibbing Spree.

[Dave Anthony]

English Fibbing Spree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really want to read that.

[Dave Anthony]

I thought it was the start of the story, but okay. It is sad to have to say so, but murder in its most unattractive shape is becoming positively fashionable on this island.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who is this Sacha Baron Cohen character?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, they got the Go gossip columnist to write about, write up the murder spree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I wanted to talk about the dresses. There's no. We need you to cover this murder.

[Trey Crowder]

Someone's being.

[Dave Anthony]

Someone's being naughty and people like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That blood splatter look on your face is majorly in.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, you are. That is slaying. Slay Got. Got slain that queen. But did they. Would they say murder in its most unattractive fashion or what? Something about, like, they like.

[Dave Anthony]

Unattractive shape.

[Trey Crowder]

Unattractive shape, yes. It's like, you know, hangings. Sure. Or whatever. Yeah, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So last year.

[Trey Crowder]

You can't be disemboweling people. That's pretty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So last year. Let's see. The guts.

[Dave Anthony]

Stories of wanton butchery come from every part of England to help the sale of the dull London papers and to increase the growing panic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. It's like Murder Beetle Mania. Yeah, it's everywhere.

[Trey Crowder]

Also, like, that seems to imply that it's like that's the reason for it is, you know, is to move papers or whatever. I mean, I know if it bleeds, it leads. But it makes it sound like the. The London Times, Piccadilly Times, or whatever it was called was out here like, you know, splitting these ladies open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Did you know that. Did you know that that actually happened in Brazil in, like the 80s? Ever heard that story? There was a guy, I always forget his name and the name of the show, but there was this like, like kind of Cops type show. It was like a documentary crime show covering, like, gang violence and cartel, like, violence in Brazil. And I said, 80s, it might have been the 90s, but it was super popular. Like, and they. They had like, footage of gangland killings and all this stuff. And then people started noticing, and it was real. Violent and crazy because it was all real. Then they started noticing that the camera crew would get there sometimes, like before the cops. They'd, like, be there to watch it happen. People are like. People like, this is like. Like that Jack Gyllenhaal movie, Nightcrawler. Except more brutal and also real like. And they found out the producer and host and presenter of the show and creator of it. Who was this ex cop? He. He was like exploiting his gangland connections to set up these executions and stuff. And making sure that his camera crews were there ahead of time to film it and all this. And he got caught doing it. And. Yeah, it was in Brazil in the 90s.

[Dave Anthony]

So he got. So he got caught being successful. I don't understand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's illegal to produce amazingly.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I'm sorry. That's fucking crazy. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

That is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so Brazil.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, very Brazil. Yeah. The British maiden is fairly hysterical. The matron is chronically faint. And the steady Britain painfully worried in his mind. While the citizen with Tennessee's not toward law abiding gives daily evidence of the spirit of emulation which fires him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not sure what happened, but they did say, Tennessee, Trey, you want to pick it up?

[Trey Crowder]

Tendencies.

[Dave Anthony]

Tendencies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, damn it.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, I thought that too at first. And I was like, hey, leave us out of this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

You know, they. At some point, it was like, you know, a law back then. Any story at this time had to at some point mention that women are hysterical. Like, that got brought up, you know, and it's like, well, they are being, you know, split open on the. I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And freaking out about it.

[Trey Crowder]

My wife won't shut up about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She won't go buy food at night for me anymore. I mean, it's really impacting the fellas.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

This patent favorite phrase of Toryism, crime ridden England. It may be incidentally mentioned it is not quite as popular as it was for Ireland, unlike England and Scotland has yet to furnish an instance of a desire to outdo the Whitechapel fiend.

[Trey Crowder]

You know, I wonder who they were like, blaming this on. You know, they had to have somebody. They were blaming it. You know what I mean? Like, it's all. There's always a crime spree in the cities. They're always crime rated or whatever. And it's like, I don't know if they had immigrants yet. In fact, at the end of that, they were like, they pulled a 180 on me. We're like, ireland and Scotland got this figured out, which I did not see coming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they always do. Ireland and Scotland are always like, we're doing way better.

[Trey Crowder]

No, I know that. But this is English people reporting, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

I didn't think they'd give it up for Ireland and Scotland, but I think that's a.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a way of saying, like, this is how bad we're so up that we're worse than Ireland.

[Trey Crowder]

They are doing better than we are, which is gross. And I think animals over until they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can find the scapegoat there. To your point, before, they are being careful and being like, women are a problem.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I mean, they are now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, women are really a problem in this.

[Dave Anthony]

The White Chapel's murder. The White Chapel murderers exploits were promptly and universally credited. Credited to some foreigner, an American preferred. On the ground. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How dare you?

[Dave Anthony]

Probably right. On the ground that the slaughter of the defenseless women was incompatible with the noble instincts of Englishmen.

[Trey Crowder]

Okay, so, all right, there it is. So I was just a little bit ahead of it. It is funny that we were the, like, the Muslim refugees of the day. I guess the Americans were. But. But, yeah, I knew that was coming. It's like, this is far too improper for an Englishman to have done. But also, I mean, that's not true, right, like, because this, they are the Whitechapel murder. That is Jack the Ripper. And like, I mean, they famously never figured out who was.

[Dave Anthony]

They didn't. But they. They think because of, I think the way he, like, operated and. And the way that he cut women up, that he was an educated.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, like new anatomy and stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Like a doctor type. So, yeah, they. They think he was from the upper class.

[Trey Crowder]

Right. Yeah. Educated, yet savage. Must be American. Lacking in decorum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

After every murder, he was heard to shout awesome ranch. All over this body. More ranch fingerprints.

[Dave Anthony]

But this characteristically British theory has been damaged by the readiness which the English mind has shown to imitate the Whitechapel methods. And the American with the low hat theory is gradually being abandoned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What.

[Dave Anthony]

What is that they're saying? They're saying what I just said. Yeah, they're saying, yeah, we're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're.

[Dave Anthony]

We're like, yeah, low hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're low class.

[Dave Anthony]

We're shitty Americans.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh, okay. I thought they literally meant, like, I know everybody wore a hat back then, so it's like, just, if you're gonna go around murdering Low hat down.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, you might be right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is such a great time when there weren't cameras everywhere. You could just be like, I didn't see him. He did the.

[Trey Crowder]

You know, that's all it took.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's good. He clearly knows we're looking for him.

[Trey Crowder]

So much for that. Then onto the case.

[Dave Anthony]

I was watching an English soccer game this weekend, and there was a bugler because it was like, whatever their Veterans Day and He was in full military uniform, but. So he had the. You know, the hat on like they do when they're dressed up in their formals. But the brim came down to his nose, so you can't see. The brim came straight down from his hat and touches his nose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was brim dish. I'll answer this, Dave. You've seen the. The guards at Buckingham palace also.

[Dave Anthony]

Very same thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pretty bad.

[Dave Anthony]

But they can't see with that. That's really dumb.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They can. It's just. You're like.

[Dave Anthony]

But not.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, maybe for the bugler, it's like. Maybe they don't want him to be able to see because if he beholds all the carnage, he won't be hitting the notes as well. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like.

[Trey Crowder]

It's like a horse with blinders on.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Trey Crowder]

But in front of. They're like murder blinders for the bugler so he can keep the tunes going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then maybe for your soccer match, Dave, they didn't do it, because then he'd be like, wait, people are wearing regular clothes?

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. I look crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You lied to me.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's. That's the.

[Trey Crowder]

Do they still. Do you think? Do they still. I think now in war, they just, like, blast Metallica through. Like, they're like shared headsets.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Shredded people.

[Dave Anthony]

They're actually just playing metal. They're playing Metallica from the warehouse they're working in while they tap a button.

[Trey Crowder]

Do drones track? It's pretty different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's Seinfeld's on.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Not quite as much pomp. War drums, sad bugler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, do you have any job openings? Yeah, still got my trumpet ready to.

[Trey Crowder]

Go, G. Yeah, I mean, that would. I mean, that is way more, you know, metal and hardcore, obviously. Just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I watched a. I can't remember what the Netflix movie is called, but it's with one of the Hemsworths. Where?

[Trey Crowder]

Extraction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

I. I. There's two of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, is that the drone one?

[Trey Crowder]

Wait a minute, you think? No, that's. That's the other Hemsworth and Russell Crowe. That's called Land of Bad Children. So I have to watch, like, dad movies. Movies. You know, like, after they go to sleep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I was gonna say land a bath with your kids.

[Trey Crowder]

With them. When them and my wife are asleep, I have to sit there with whiskey and, you know, be, you know, be upset while I watch a Russell Crowe movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that one was so goddamn funny because they are trying to provide the action from a drone room.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And at the end, he's Russell Crowe is piecing together some stuff to run back to the drone place to change.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like the droning.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're like, well, they really are working so goddamn hard to give you that, like, action plot point for him where he's shopping, and then he's like, wait, I've got to, like, figure out this drone now.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, it is. It's also like, we were just about how, like, the shifting in technologies and war customs and stuff have, you know, pushed out the buglers and other sundry other military positions. But it's actually kind of worked in Russell Crowe's favor because it's like earlier in his career, he played, like, the salt. He could play the super soldier dude or whatever. We had drone rooms like old, fat Russell Crowe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Can still.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's eating Bugles.

[Trey Crowder]

Being those movies. Now it's just Bugles. Bags of Bugles. Bit of a bugler, myself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So true. Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Pouring them into his mouth.

[Dave Anthony]

I had to. I had to watch that movie because the name is yes. With our propaganda. Has. Our propaganda has gotten so bad that now we're just like, yeah, bad, bad place going in, like, terrible.

[Trey Crowder]

No good at all there.

[Dave Anthony]

Sending in our assassins to land of bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you can't watch, like a war movie from the 80s anymore because you're like, they shouldn't be there.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah. It's also like that with like. Like some, like. Well, I mean, obviously there's still a ton of cop movies and stuff like that, but like, for the, like, 21 Jump street, that reboot, which is awesome and super hilarious, but there's like a part I remember re watching that it, like, you know, in 2020 or whatever, and it's still very funny, but there's parts where they, like, are pulling their guns out and just, you know, shooting in the air and like, in the other guys and doing desk pops and stuff like that. And it's like, it just plays a little differently when you know that, like, cops really be that way. Well, you know, they don't just shoot them up in the air. I saw one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

On Instagram. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But no, it would good to make a movie like that. Like a cop movie, but from, you know, like a. The criminals really start trying to frame the criminals as the good guys in the story. Just trying to feed people and trying to go home to their wives too.

[Trey Crowder]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And, you know, like, that. That should shift at some point because that's the same, like, when you grow up in that propaganda era, it takes a while to start to be like, now, wait A minute.

[Trey Crowder]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, what they showed me is different than what I'm watching.

[Trey Crowder]

That's part of the reason the Wire was one of the best shows because they were actually nuanced with all that they showed. The cops being terrible.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the shield also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, and cops. I mean, we're all saying the same thing. Go ahead.

[Unknown Announcer]

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Dave Anthony]

This is another London story. Must have her cigarette. A society sheet accuses the Comitesse de Paris.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love when he does French. I don't know, it's my fetish.

[Dave Anthony]

Comtesse. I've never seen this word before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Slower.

[Dave Anthony]

It must be some sort of title of smoking a short clay pipe. And not in private either, but as she drives about. What?

[Trey Crowder]

Has she no shame?

[Dave Anthony]

What the fuck?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's awesome.

[Trey Crowder]

Women can't do anything in public back then other than sit demurely smoke or, you know, have her mouth open or just doing anything at all that has.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Waving, eating or jacking me off.

[Trey Crowder]

Lady. This is probably too.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, a pipe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Play pipe.

[Dave Anthony]

She might be hitting the crack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm hoping it's weed.

[Dave Anthony]

This is probably one of the tales for which society sheets are famous. Cigarette smoking by women, however, is becoming more common every day in England where it used to be considered an awful crime and only yesterday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Trey Crowder]

But then they invented those little extended cigarette holder things, you know, and those.

[Dave Anthony]

Look cool for later.

[Trey Crowder]

That turned it. That turned it all around for them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then the dude started doing it. It was like, what are we at? That was like their neutral bathrooms.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were like, what is a woman? Yeah, what is a woman?

[Dave Anthony]

And only yesterday I heard a certain well known woman mourning because she had been over two weeks at a house where she could not smoke cigarette cigarettes after dinner without exciting comment and had been troubled by her nerves in consequence. So she was getting shamed she couldn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Smoke and she wanted to smoke. Yeah, she was having withdrawals, which I've had.

[Trey Crowder]

Super relatable. Yeah, we've all been there, but I've certainly been there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, completely. Where? I mean, that would Be like, the best way to do it is to just put you in a room.

[Trey Crowder]

But although I don't, most cigarette smokers I know, like, wouldn't be stopped by the scorn of the lady of the house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I mean, I'll just sleep in the street, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I watched two of my friends, I was in Alaska a couple days ago and I watched two of my buddies have a cigarette outside. And I was like, it was freezing, right? And I was like, I remember those. Those are never good. Those are never like, that's never the enjoyable cigarette.

[Trey Crowder]

When you're like, yeah, he's like all huddled up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your lungs are already giving you cigarettes out there.

[Trey Crowder]

There's some camaraderie to it though, you know what I mean? Because I started smoking, I was 16 and I mean, I still vape, but hey, I switched off the hard stuff a while ago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Trey Crowder]

And anytime I see a friend of mine I haven't seen in a while or just meet a person who still smokes actual cigarettes, part of me is honestly kind of like, good for you, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Hanging in there, Hanging in there. Sticking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, when you see them, you're like.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh, yeah, you guys are still out there doing it, huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep fighting, man.

[Dave Anthony]

Keep fighting.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, we all gotta die sometime, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Soon, bro. Totally.

[Dave Anthony]

Not much of a prodigy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Another London story.

[Trey Crowder]

I hope this is about an 8 year old, right? Terrible chimney sweep, I say. Been voted the worst chimney sweep. And what a fool of London.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at him, he's all chalky.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Wait, I keep forgetting this is a Pittsburgh newspaper. It's just a lot of them are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pittsburgh Dispatch.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Obsessed with England. Murder and just on England.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, okay. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

It's got to be for expats, right? It's got to be for the English who moved over. Another juvenile prodigy has just made his debut. Debut at St. Petersburg where he hardly comes up to the average demanded of project prodigies nowadays.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a. This kid sucks.

[Trey Crowder]

Throwing tomatoes at a middle school or whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, it's so shitty.

[Trey Crowder]

And to put in the newspaper, every, every adult, I feel like, should have an understanding. It's like if you're in a scenario like that and then the kid starts and it's not that great. You all just kind of sit there sort of awkwardly and then like politely clap at the end. You're all thinking like, oh, that. Well, that didn't go as well as he'd hoped it would, the poor thing. And there's a reporter like, yes, worst trombonist ever or whatever. Like what? Like what was he doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Euthanize the 8 year old?

[Trey Crowder]

Send them to the minds.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he's not even eight.

[Trey Crowder]

The canner. He's not even eight. Oh, I thought I was. I thought I was going too far when I said eight earlier. I was like, there's no way eight is too young.

[Dave Anthony]

But he is already four years of age.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God. No, I mean, in a way that's good because he might be too young to be damaged. Yeah, you might be like just under.

[Trey Crowder]

The water, I think an entire concert hall booing you off stage or whatever. Something that sticks with you. I don't care if you're in preschool when it happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, stage parents, they probably read them the reviews and were like, see, you're not doing great.

[Trey Crowder]

This patch was none to impress.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you understand?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He plays. He plays only Chopin. Besides which, his father has to work the pedal. His father has to work the pedals for him on account of the shortness of his legs.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, they didn't even need to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It because he can't do it. He's got tiny legs. It's like the kid was on the Tonight Show.

[Trey Crowder]

Don't waste our time if you're going to come up with those short little four year old legs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God.

[Trey Crowder]

What? They don't make stilts anymore. Put stilts on them, pops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, four year old prodigy caught her four year old leg.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, you need to go to the circus. Let me show you how to put stilts on kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me know when he can touch.

[Trey Crowder]

The pedals, make them perform adequately.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Until then, my review's in. Thumbs down.

[Trey Crowder]

It's just nothing but Chopin too. And it's like, I bet it was pretty good. I had a lot better than I could have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Imagine if you saw a four year old playing Chopin. Right? Right. Yeah. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

I wouldn't. I would be like, wait a minute, his legs aren't touching the pedals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You shove the dad. Get out of here.

[Dave Anthony]

His name, which will keep him from being very well known is Raul Kozulski.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't even know. They just cheated on the name. Or his lack of skill.

[Trey Crowder]

Name.

[Dave Anthony]

One time the English were not taking swipes at the polish.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, I think I was thinking the same thing. I was like, when he got to. Which a name which history will surely have forgotten in no time. You know, that's what I thought they were doing. But then I think they were just like, yep, you got to change that name, kid. This is never going to work. But yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's probably not a stage name at all. No.

[Trey Crowder]

If he wasn't a little Polish kid, then maybe he could have. You know, they might have been a little. A little easier on him all over.

[Dave Anthony]

Evicted with trouble. This is. I mean, it's got to be Dublin. But it says Bublin.

[Trey Crowder]

That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. I. I would guess that's drinking shade.

[Trey Crowder]

Could also be a place in Pennsylvania.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're definitely just ripping the English paper off fully because Pittsburgh's not going to be like, here's a little bubbling.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They're just taking dispatch stories from.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just like. This is like someone handing you a decoupage, like three ring binder.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you doing? What? Coupage? What do you. What do you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would you rather me do the French? Is that what you like?

[Dave Anthony]

It's not who you are. It's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big day. I'm a big micro fiche and I'm a big day coupage. And you know that about me and jewelers Loop. I'll dance.

[Trey Crowder]

Damn, bro. Yeah. I kind of know what microfiche is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those other two things I have, it's like minnows.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Yeah. Tiny little fish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tiny little fish. When they got fish as a baby, I say macro fish.

[Trey Crowder]

You look at the macro fish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You understand Temple. Microfiche. Barely can see. Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Okay, so what this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is.

[Dave Anthony]

This is. This is an A paper for. For English expats in. In America. And. And there is no Bublin. So they clearly just didn't care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dublin shade or whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

Dublin. It's Dublin, right?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

A party of officers engaged in evicting a tenant named John Heaney from his holding on the estate of Lord Lurgan in County Armagh today met with a vigorous resistance the inmates of the house, assailing them with boiling water and pitchforks. Yeah, because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice follow up.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. They. They've. They've. They've lived through the potato famine. They know how fucking terrible you are. Irish used to really fight back against proletariat buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we are. We also really have undersold how great hot water can be in battle.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Hot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hot water. Well, you know, for sleep on it.

[Trey Crowder]

They were doing hot oil.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

That goes even worse. It goes way worse. You definitely prefer. I mean water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Trey Crowder]

Water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no, it's oil. Oh, that's bone.

[Trey Crowder]

Now I'm really mad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's bone.

[Dave Anthony]

Really good for your hair, though. It's really beautiful. Yeah, it really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you get that kind of like the magic shell you used to put on ice cream. It's kind of that vibe.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love it. I love it.

[Trey Crowder]

Does it say why this part. These people were being evicted or whatever? Because I'm sure it's like. Like comically evil, probably. I'm sure I'm not remotely deserved or anything. And yet the brutes pushed back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're unable to bang their wives. All of a sudden, they've got a.

[Dave Anthony]

Spine, the inmates of the house, assailing them with boiling water and pitchforks. A bailiff was stabbed and Lord Lurgan's agent and a policeman were seriously injured. The riot act was read. Oh, and then a number of arrests were made. Heaney is a prominent member of the National League. So he's a baseball player. He's a. He's a go go. Yes, he's a baseball player. He plays for the Reds.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a go fuck. Go. The English guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Which everybody is, I'm about to say.

[Trey Crowder]

Very popular back then.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Very popular. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Still today should come back.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I think in Ireland.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh, that's never go fuck. The English party is still going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One thing, it's great that, say, Brexit was like, we want to focus on our domestic issues. And then every other country is like, oh, yeah, we're probably done.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I had a. My wife went to England with a friend of ours who's English. Sorry, Ireland was someone who's English. And she said the difference of the way she was treated when her friend wasn't with her was amazing.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh, wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's really nice to be, like an American. Like, to be treated better as an American in a foreign country.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because you're not with, you know what I mean, people. Oh, finally. Oh, we've got a sane American here. Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

So you said you. You said. You mentioned that the riot act was read.

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Trey Crowder]

Like, is that. Was that a real thing? Was that. You know what I mean? Like, I'm glad when. When there was some unrulyness, some civil unrest bad, someone came out and read, now I must read unto the. The riot act, that that was when you could all be properly executed and published.

[Dave Anthony]

It's basically the same as when cops say this is protest, the illegal gathering. So, yeah, once they read the riot act and it basically, it's like, there's. There's a few people here gathered together and we're gonna crack your skulls.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was these. Stop resisting.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Father Merriman, a priest of the Castle Connell, has received three summonses to appear in court to Answer charges of inciting tenants to commit outrages. So there's the good guy.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Daly, proprietor of the Connaught Telegraph, has received three summonses under the Crimes act for publishing articles calculated to incite people to commit crime. Okay, so that's all there is. But. So it's like they were just evicting someone from their house because they couldn't afford to pay rent and.

[Trey Crowder]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So people were like, we should kick the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out of the. Boy, would they enjoy this era.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. And there was a priest actually being like, Christ. Like, you know, which.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's funny, I was talking to my mother about this this morning. Like once, once the politicians started dragging the church into that, it really was when it all got so much more complicated. Like, for sure. It was like, you know, because my mother was saying how she goes into a church and she still feels comfort. And I'm like, that existed for so long and then the second that it all kind of be like kind of merged with the like, you know, like the fascism and the like the politics, you were like, yeah, it's just a lot. It's just that line being blurred is like, yeah. Now religion became like a turn off to so many people because, you know, the specificity, whatever, it was like a place to go hang out or be, whatever. And then the second that you're like, well, no, because they are making children have babies.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah, they definitely. They definitely still had like, you know, they still had like cardinals and stuff who were cozied up to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There were issues.

[Trey Crowder]

Arch dukes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There were issues.

[Trey Crowder]

But like lower level priests like Father Merriam of Castle O'Connell or whatever, which is all just Barry on the nose. But like that guy, he was like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you can't put him on the street. He'll have nowhere to sleep.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

It's unholy Christ. The father wouldn't stand for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I've got some holy water here. Shall we boil it?

[Dave Anthony]

Stole a brick house.

[Trey Crowder]

Not easy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this a followup?

[Dave Anthony]

No, this is a new story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

This is Louisville, Kentucky.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, finally.

[Dave Anthony]

Fact. A highly peculiar robbery was reported to police today. Ms. Jane Ross, a wealthy widow who resides in Jefferson county, is the complainant. She owns or did own a two story brick building on 15th street between Kentucky and Prentice. This is that portion of the village known as California.

[Trey Crowder]

Okay. All the homosexuals are at.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that what's going on?

[Trey Crowder]

I doubt it. Gold letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where they're wearing dodger hats and doing yoga.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It is so funny. It is a Very quiet suburb, inhabited mainly by working people. The house had eight rooms, a nice stable, another outbuildings, and was valued at about $2,500. A tenant moved out of it one year ago, leaving it in fairly good repair. And as the owner demanded a stiff rent, there has been no one living in it since. This didn't trouble Ms. Ross much as she does not need money. It happened that she was never interested in her property enough to pay it a visit until yesterday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Man, that guy who was like in there just like taking a like scrubbing his back with like her bath brush in there just like eating whatever he could find when she comes home. Oh, hi.

[Dave Anthony]

I think you missed the headline though.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, I think, I think it's a different thing. I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was it?

[Dave Anthony]

The headline.

[Trey Crowder]

She showed up and it's just an empty field. Right. Is that what happened?

[Dave Anthony]

The headline is stole a brick house.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. And she probably thinks, you know, 1800s. She thinks it's like some kind of warlock or magic or something or some kind of like, you know, illusionist or something like that. Like Christian Bale from the Prestige pulled this off when in reality she hasn't been there for two years. So.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

People just been hauling off brick by detroiting it. Yeah, right. Slowly detroiting it. Yeah, exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

There are boys in the neighborhood and these began a work of destruction by breaking the windows with stones. Then some tore down and carried away the front fence. Perhaps other people concluded at this point that the house was a stray one for they tore down the stable and other outbuildings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

The shutters, doors, windows, floors, etc disappeared.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's got to be great when someone's like, should we start doing the inside?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

California does not have many brick pavements. And the idea struck some people that these pavements were good things. This is why large loads of bricks began to leave the house. And in short time all the neighbors had paved yards and sidewalks.

[Trey Crowder]

Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that why not.

[Trey Crowder]

Sometimes it works out. She wasn't using any of those bricks.

[Dave Anthony]

She wasn't anyway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right. You know, it's. If we replace based a brick house with Bezos the stories also. Awesome.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just take everything piece by piece, spread it out.

[Trey Crowder]

Robin Hood it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. But I mean especially when it's actually worth something. But dude, this is a hundred percent on this rich old lady. Like you can't, you can't just leave a building.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Completely unattended for any amount of time. Like just like neighborhood kids. And one day someone is going to be like, hey, when's the last time everybody saw somebody in that building.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Trey Crowder]

I can't remember the last time. And then we're like, well, let's throw rocks at it. Right. And they break the wood just because that's fun to do. And then when no one shows up about that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Then you just start throwing more rocks. The next thing you know, like, let's just take it all. Let's just take it all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna do the chimney.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Crazy when the day that someone's like, let's go inside, you know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think? Crazy to take the floors.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trey, what do you think about the listeners who called that stance anti woman?

[Trey Crowder]

What, me?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, just. We're reading some of the emails on this episode already.

[Trey Crowder]

It's just anti landlord. Okay. Anti absentee landlord.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We just.

[Trey Crowder]

If we just thought is a woman, then. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If that falls into your. Okay. We just wanted to give you a chance to kind of clear up to some of the. Because we've been getting a lot of emails about that.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, man. You know, Heartless capitalist pig supersedes woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, good.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The walls crumbled away and fell in. And in a short time, as scarcely a semblance of the house remained. However, and possibly few of those who. Who were appropriating a few bricks at a time had any idea that they were committing a theft. Right. Because they just. At some point, they're just seeing rubble. So, like, I should just go take.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a Home Depot.

[Trey Crowder]

Free rubble.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Free rubble.

[Trey Crowder]

You guys heard there's free rubble over here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they started a rubble bin.

[Dave Anthony]

The owner came in yesterday to see our property was getting along.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello. There was a house here.

[Dave Anthony]

Where do I put my money?

[Trey Crowder]

But she almost fell out, you know, got faint, and that's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Again, there's probably, like, two guys taking, like, some of the foundation. She was like, excuse me. Like, hey, lady, we're stealing this house before the owner comes back. Get what you can.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Did you hear? Free rubble. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get free rubble. That's a nice fan.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

After she had recovered from the shock, she made inquiries of some of the neighbors and learned what had become of her house. She knew she couldn't make nothing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is the neighbor update? Yeah, a bunch of people were taking it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Everybody just took a little piece.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everybody just started taking pieces.

[Trey Crowder]

They're, like, moving over to, like, stand in front of the new sidewalk that they have behind. You know what I mean? It's like. Yeah. I don't know. People just. People are crazy around here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Her weather vane on their house. If we find the bastards that did it, we'll help you get them because that's a crime. It's a crime against you.

[Dave Anthony]

She took her loss coolly. Across the street is a sand pit. As she turned to leave, she remarked, well, I'm glad my property isn't over there or they would have stolen the lot too. Do anything with it. God, rich people are just like, so, you know, charging too much for rent and then doing nothing with the property off you got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, what do you think about some of the listeners who are sort of saying you're echoing Trey and Trey's anti woman stuff? I think we should just try to get ahead of that a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, obviously, you know, people, I just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Want to give you a chance to kind of clear this.

[Dave Anthony]

We've been getting. We've been getting accused because we are not, you know, fully on board with Kamala, how misogynist and racist we are. And I would just like to say that's why.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it doesn't sound like you've cleared this up as well as traded, but. But it just wanted to give you the opportunity, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but we're deeply. This is a deeply massaged. His podcast. That's what we do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a lot of messages about how from people who say, hey, why is. You guys are just coming across how much you hate the undervalued in society on this show and.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, we do not like.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, no, yeah, it's so much easier to punch down. You know, punching up is hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. Your shoulders way up there.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You just get on your knees and.

[Trey Crowder]

Just start way looking down. Nothing.

[Dave Anthony]

Did punching up get Tony Hinchcliffe to Madison Square Garden? No.

[Trey Crowder]

No, absolutely not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

That's what success is. That's how you do it.

[Trey Crowder]

Absolutely the best. Yeah. So this is not exactly the same thing, to say the least, but what my friend's mom, when we were kids, we just hang out his house all the time. And she was a very sweet lady. And she let these two meth heads stay in her house for a while. Right, Cool. She was like, cool. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, yeah, nothing can go wrong because.

[Trey Crowder]

They need a place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, this story is going in a good direction for sure.

[Trey Crowder]

And they abandoned those two meth heads. Abandoned a non functional, rusted out 1982 Monte Carlo in her driveway. Right. Like when they finally left, they just left it there. It didn't run. It looked terrible. They left it. It was. It sat there for at least six months. So one day, I'm like 14 years old with all my buddies over there, and his mom's gone, and we're all hanging around on a Saturday, and. And we were, like, throwing a bowling ball off the deck onto, like, you know, beer cans and things like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course.

[Trey Crowder]

And then someone plays, like, break stuff by Limp Biscuit, you know, while we're throwing this bowl. Next thing you know, it goes on the car. We grab every weapon inside and just tear that car all to just absolutely destroy it. Tear down this box, basically, with. With yard tools and whatnot and a bowling ball. And they got really upset with us. And who did?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The meth heads?

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. Well, because his mom. His mom, very rightfully so, was like, what the. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But a lot of damage.

[Trey Crowder]

She's like, I have to tell these. So she told them that we had done it, and then they, like, charred. Went to the cops and charged us and all this stuff and made us, like, pay the full amount for it or we were gonna have to go to juvie and all this.

[Dave Anthony]

Even though they had full amount.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it was $8.

[Trey Crowder]

No, it was. They got, like, the Kelly blue. It was not the actual value. It was the highest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who hasn't the Kelly Blue book screwed over?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, it was like. I think it was like, $2200.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Trey Crowder]

Which was. Guys, it was scrap at that point. Yeah. Right. And so, you know, I relate to these people in the gay part of Louisville 200 years ago or whatever. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

There. There are women listening who are like, I don't understand what happened. And it's like you. If you have never experienced the joy of throwing a rock through a window.

[Trey Crowder]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

You just don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should point out that anyone who doesn't identify with that this is really the energy that runs the United States and its military. Yeah. This is gen. This is what happened. A bunch of white dudes are in a room lift, biscuits on, and they're like, you know, Kosovo seems like slim picking.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. But that would look cool exploding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That could be fun to drop bowling balls on that population. Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

From a drone. From a drone, yeah. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, bowling balls that explode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The women that the. The women that the dudes eventually let run with them also throw rocks to be part of the pack. So it's all. It doesn't change when you get the L. Disgusting take.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, let's get back to the paper. I think we're good. Okay. Sorry, everybody. Ally, I don't understand this one.

[Dave Anthony]

That's confusing White Cap lunacy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go.

[Dave Anthony]

It has attacked the weak minded in Suffolk County, New York. The White Cap mania has attacked several little towns in Suffolk County. In Flushing, this notice has been served upon all members of a social club which meets between 1 and 5 o'clock every Friday morning. Headquarters, White Caps. Flushing division number 82. And then there's a response. Special order. Dear sir, you are hereby requested to remain at home with your family evenings and stop visiting hotels, drinking whiskey and neglecting your business or take the lash. The White Caps guys are going out and drinking and they're being threatened by temp temperance.

[Trey Crowder]

Okay, so the White Caps are like a temperance gang.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it sounds like funniest gang, by the the way. Yeah, I take that gang serious. Like Mormons. Like they are.

[Trey Crowder]

Speaking of Mormon gangs, did either of you ever see the Buttercream Gang movies when you. Okay, we got showed these in school. I'm pretty sure they were actually Mormon, but it was definitely like a Christian thing. But it was a gang. It was a g. The Buttercream Gang. And the whole thing was they were like this gang of little white Christian kids who like did good, bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hilarious.

[Trey Crowder]

Look it up. Dude's real thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my. Wait, George Joseph Gordon Levitt was in it.

[Trey Crowder]

Wait, really? I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It looks like it.

[Trey Crowder]

True.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe not.

[Trey Crowder]

It was definitely like there was like a series of them. And I mean, maybe there was just the one movie, I don't know, but I feel like I remembered multiple ones. But yeah, the Buttercream Gang.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe it isn't. Joseph the kid looks just like. That is hilarious.

[Trey Crowder]

A gang of do gooders refuse to give up on an old friend who falls in with a bad crowd.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The sweet natured Buttercream Gang is about to lose its fearless leader, Pete, who moves to Chicago.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, it's like they. The like the Missions or whatever they have is like, you know, an old lady falls down in her house, you know, and that type of thing. Or they stop a bully from being mean to a young and then they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just start taking her house apart brick by brick.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He ought to be insulated. This is from Boston. A new feature of the electric car system was brought into startling prominence this morning. Police Lieutenant Briggs boarded a car and the moment he stepped upon the platform, he received an electric shock that made him helpless. He was completely paralyzed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it a Tesla?

[Dave Anthony]

No, he'd be on fire. He was completely paralyzed. And the other occupants of the car lifted him to the ground with the intention of carrying him into a neighboring house. Then another singular Phenomenon was noticed the moment Lt. Briggs touched the ground. The electric current passed from his body and he recovered the use of all his faculties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was now the lawnmower man.

[Dave Anthony]

He was weak, but otherwise he was uninjured.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, this was just back when they were still working all the kinks out of the whole electricity. Figured out how all that really goes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I feel like they still haven't. Because that's not how it works. Right. The second you get all these shocks through and you're put on the ground, you're like, I'm better.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, I know the only thing, I mean I, you know, I know that like it takes the fastest route to the ground or to a ground. Yeah, you got it. Ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So like grounding ground.

[Trey Crowder]

So like I could see that. Look, it's crazy that it would stay lightning dumb, but like I'm electricity dumb, but I think I could see that. But it says before that they all picked him up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Which I think that part I'm pretty certain. That is not how it works. Like if I would touch him, they would have been all, you know, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mean, we really need to. Look, we're doing a lot of weird shit in this country. Would be a good time to sort of test to see if someone suspended by non metal wires can hold a charge just forever. Forever.

[Dave Anthony]

You guys, you guys are missing what this is.

[Trey Crowder]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a lawnmower man.

[Trey Crowder]

He's a cop.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a cop. Just like all the cops fake the fentanyl thing. And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he just, he's doing.

[Dave Anthony]

He's doing a thing for attention.

[Trey Crowder]

He like. Yeah, he like tripped and fell off of the trolley or whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

It was like blasted new fangled electricity. Dangerous to a hard working man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was a Terminator for eight minutes until I got up.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, the lieutenant is said to be susceptible to electric shocks. Having once been in a house when it was.

[Trey Crowder]

We all are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like how that's unique.

[Trey Crowder]

This guy's particularly susceptible to electric shock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's got a volt limit.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy can only take so much voltage. He's about 10,000.

[Dave Anthony]

It's because he's. It's because of previous. Okay. Having once been in a house when it was struck by lightning, from the effects of which he suffered a severe shock. So he's got a little extra argument.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's not a little bit. This, this is an electric man. You're trying to blame it on whatever. You're like trying to blame it. You're. You're burying the lead you're missing the point.

[Trey Crowder]

This is an Electric Man X man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, nothing happens to you if you're in a house when it's hit by lightning. You don't get electrified.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know Dave. That's part of his origin story. And when the car gave him. I'm not even going to do that. This.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you're not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. It's like trying to explain how to play piano to a four year old who sucks.

[Dave Anthony]

Looking for their husband. Is that in New York?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm doing that.

[Dave Anthony]

Two very young women are trying to find their husband. Constance constant white. Two years ago, Mr. White.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just every guy back then white as well. Hello. Also a constant. White. White.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Two years ago, Mr. White induced Amelia Madonna, 14 years old, to run away with him. That's just how it was.

[Trey Crowder]

You'll have that. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back then White. Let's remember.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He lived with her happily.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm afraid you're a bit old.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, until the age of 17.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. I normally like younger girls.

[Dave Anthony]

You're grossing me out. Your breasts are perfectly taut and I hate it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

He lived with her happily enough until six months ago. Then he deserted her after a quarrel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're just different.

[Trey Crowder]

Classic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know what it is about you and I, but you just didn't.

[Dave Anthony]

Ever since you hit puberty, you're freaking me out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You really want to play with your friends a lot, don't you?

[Trey Crowder]

This is also like. It's the era when like a dude could have run away with a teenager who's utterly, completely dependent on him. And then one day he can just be like. Like this ain't it. And then move like three blocks over to the other side of the same town. And then just. That was that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

You know, and everybody was like. Would say to the 16 year old girl, what did you say to. Yeah, what did you do? Yeah, from a pipe. Oh, well, see, there's your problem right there.

[Dave Anthony]

Two days ago she learned he had married Ms. Daisy Feist, 15 years old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For sake. She walking around and everyone's like, how are you, Constant?

[Trey Crowder]

And he's like, you know, I married her at 14. He's like, I am now 36. So, you know, I thought 15 would always be only right. I'm not. I'm not a lunatic playing the field illegally.

[Dave Anthony]

When she went to his house in Harlem to see about it, when he saw her, he ran away and he now cannot be found.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you believe this piece of.

[Trey Crowder]

I just don't know why you. Why did he have to marry him. I highly doubt. They were like, you know, fetish rich debutant. That is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he could get.

[Trey Crowder]

He runs away, like, on site. Like, she saw him and he turned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's like, 15, and he's like.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

37.

[Trey Crowder]

All right, last one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. What a night.

[Dave Anthony]

The coroners of adjoining counties quarreling over jurisdiction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've got quarreling coroners.

[Trey Crowder]

Yep. Classic.

[Dave Anthony]

This is Bethlehem. That's Pennsylvania.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I mean, there is a. There is a Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It could be the other one, because.

[Trey Crowder]

I did a real hidden show there once. It wasn't that great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, really?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah. Some kind of venue in front of Hulking, like, rusted out.

[Dave Anthony]

I've seen. I've seen that venue, I think. Yeah, it looks interesting.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, it is kind of. I mean, it is kind of cool in a wild way, because it's like a monument to the Rust Belt or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It's like some massive foundry that's been abandoned for years. And it's. All right. And it's like there's a huge window behind you, and that's your view. Is that this, you know, dilapidated piece.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of machinery, Some factory owners. Like, I was gone for two years. What the Is this?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, right. Yeah. By foundry people gradually just taking apart in the background.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you think he needs this?

[Dave Anthony]

Corner Weaver of Northampton county and Corner Kemp of Lehigh county have been quarreling for months over their jurisdiction in holding inquests on bodies of persons who are injured in one county and die in another.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Trey Crowder]

This is actually the. That is inciting incident for the Vince Vaughn vehicle, Apple TV original Bad Monkey, which I just started last night. Not to plug that movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that right?

[Trey Crowder]

That show kind of. Yeah, they find that. Yeah, they find. They find a. They fish up a human arm, and they don't want. They don't want to have jurisdiction of it because, you know, it's bad for tourism. They're like, shove it on Miami, Dade County. And Miami's like, that ain't our arm. That's your arm. So it's quarreling. Coroners upset about, you know, corpse jurisdiction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, that's how that shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Where did you live? Or where did you die? Who gets it? I mean, I think where you die.

[Dave Anthony]

Where you die.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, it's also like that. Did you ever see that show the Bridge People? Yes. You know. Yeah. It's like there's a body, a dead body that's on the border of the United States and Mexico. And they try to figure out. So, like, you know, this comes up a lot, I guess. Yeah, it's like people just don't want to do. You know, nobody wants to work anymore, guys. It's like, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Soon once we get rid of the micro workers, we'll finally just be able to have American coroners again.

[Trey Crowder]

I mean, when you're talking about like cadet, when the workload is cadavers, I would probably press to, you know, keep mine as light as possible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, but when you talk to like people who work in that industry, they love it. They love it.

[Trey Crowder]

They love.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

No more cadavers. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, they want more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

They need to reboot Quincy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trey. Dave's been pushing this for about two years on the show. Dave. Well, it'd be great if you like someone set up a pitch meeting for you at Peacock and you just walk in and they're like, all right, great. You're like, we need to reboot Quincy.

[Trey Crowder]

I could.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then they're like, you guys have my email, right?

[Trey Crowder]

They're like, that's a great idea. Exactly what we've been looking for. Matlock's doing great, you know, Good idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's always unfortunate when those shows are. I'm like, no, stop this. And then they're like, the new Matlock is awesome. And everybody.

[Trey Crowder]

I'm like America's number one new show. Yeah, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

What was the. Is that. Is Matlock the one that's on Max or hbo?

[Trey Crowder]

Whatever. Cbs. It's on cbs. Most watch network.

[Dave Anthony]

Colin Farrell does.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He does the Penguin priest prequel or whatever.

[Trey Crowder]

The Penguin and Matlock are pretty different, but.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I don't agree.

[Trey Crowder]

I don't agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Very similar.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh no, I'm not thinking of Colin Farrell. I'm thinking of the guy from the Russians.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quincy.

[Trey Crowder]

The Russians, the Americans.

[Dave Anthony]

The American.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, you're all over the place right now. The American star, Matt Harry Mason. Matthew Reese, who stars in reboot of Perry Mason.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That hbo without you we would be cutting this of sex it be 20 minutes.

[Dave Anthony]

That was a mess.

[Trey Crowder]

I got it covered.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but that. That was a great show. But they canceled it. That was a great show.

[Trey Crowder]

Pretty sure it's since been canceled, unfortunately.

[Dave Anthony]

Because Zlov or whatever his name is a dumb. Yeah. On Wednesday, James A. Rig, a railroad breakman, died here from injuries received by falling from a train at Allentown. Election. Horner Weaver promptly held an inquest. But while the body was being taken to Lee Lee Heighten, where Rehg had resided, coroner Kemp intercepted the body at the Allentown depot And held a second inquest as each corner expects his usual pay for his services. The next fight will be over the payment of the. Oh, it's about them.

[Trey Crowder]

They get paid on a body basis per corps. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They wasted their time.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, and none of these. And usually coroners back then, I mean, still now they don't have to have any experience. They're just a guy. Like you can just be a guy and get the job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I thought, I mean, have to be elected. Am I wrong?

[Dave Anthony]

No, it everywhere is different. Some places are elected, some places you get picked by them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, the electing a corner is also so hilarious to be like, great, I'm torn. I mean, I like the policies of him, but I just hate the tweet. Tweets. I hate the tweets.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, look, Bob is so good with dead bodies, but it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the tweets. The tweets.

[Dave Anthony]

I get it, I get it, I get it.

[Trey Crowder]

What kind of platform or whatever does a corner even have to, like, run on? What are the differences in coroner?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna bring them back to life.

[Dave Anthony]

No, we don't want that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm the guy giving them your blood. What?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do they want? I'm mad. Trey, thank you for joining us. As we said, people can go to your website, treycrowder.com for your stand updates. And then you've got a special coming out.

[Trey Crowder]

It's called Trash Daddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Called Trash Daddy. It's great. In December, you had a great episode and you didn't even have to play a fart memo.

[Trey Crowder]

So I think that's keep that in my back pocket.

[Dave Anthony]

But yeah, don't go low brow like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The other guy Corey calls his anus's back pocket.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't got to leave now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure does.

[Trey Crowder]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Thanks, buddy. Appreciate it.

[Trey Crowder]

See you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of these days. You'll miss me, honey. Some of these days.

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