104 - The Past Times with Ryan Rogers

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds – Episode 104: The Past Times with Ryan Rogers

Introduction and Tour Announcement (00:00 - 01:11) While the episode begins with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds announcing their upcoming March 2025 tour, highlighting their favorite cities, this segment serves as a brief introduction before delving into the main content. Although informative, it sets the stage for their comedic exploration of historical topics.

Guest Introduction: Ryan Rogers (01:11 - 01:47) Gareth Reynolds welcomes Ryan Rogers, marking his return as a guest. The trio engages in a light-hearted conversation about the diversity of their past guests, with Ryan humorously expressing a desire for increased representation.

Diving into Historical Newspapers (01:47 - 27:55)

Choosing the Newspaper and Setting the Scene (04:10 - 07:00) The core of the episode revolves around analyzing an old newspaper from January 8, 1885, the Northern Tribune from Sheboygan, Michigan. Gareth and Dave attempt to guess the year, with Ryan playfully underestimating, leading to their discovery of the 1885 edition.

Analyzing "Parrot and Monkey Time" (07:00 - 09:00) The hosts dissect a peculiar headline: "Parrot and Monkey Time." Ryan explains it as "an argumentative relationship in which two partners fight continually." The trio humorously debates the literal interpretation, imagining chaotic interactions between parrots and monkeys, complete with absurd explanations for baboon anatomy.

Social Events and Game Nights (09:00 - 22:00) The discussion shifts to a report about a New Year's social event with excessive kissing, leading to humorous speculations about the aftermath. They explore old-time social games like "Drop the Handkerchief" and "Blind Man's Bluff," reimagining them with modern, risqué twists. For instance, "Drop the Handkerchief" evolves into a lewd scenario involving ass grabbing, much to Greg's (Gareth) chagrin.

Highlighting Historical Figures and Disabilities in Congress (22:00 - 46:00) Dave and Gareth navigate through exaggerated and satirical biographies of historical Congress members with disabilities. They humorously critique the overly respectful and descriptive language used in the newspaper, mocking the portrayal of these figures. Notable quotes include:

• Gareth at [38:25]: "Hey, welcome to the age poorly section of the paper."
• Ryan at [42:00]: "It's a newspaper threat for sure."

The conversation mockingly laments the antiquated attitudes towards disabilities and the inefficacies in historical political systems, drawing parallels to modern-day political satire.

Contemporary Political References and Humor (46:00 - 56:00) Bridging the past with the present, the hosts reference contemporary political figures like Madison Cawthorn and Lauren Boebert, infusing current events into their historical analysis. They joke about the absurdities of political scandals and media portrayals, maintaining their signature comedic tone.

Conclusion and Album Promotion (56:00 - 63:29) As the content-heavy segment concludes, Ryan Rogers promotes his upcoming album, "Last Seen Alive," scheduled for release in June 2025 during Pride Month. Dave and Gareth thank him for his participation, reiterating their appreciation and hinting at future collaborations.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony at [08:33]: "Because in nature we know that parrots and monkeys argue constantly."
• Gareth Reynolds at [21:54]: "It's like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, but with a glory hole."
• Ryan Rogers at [50:44]: "If I was out and someone was hitting on me and I was not interested, I'd go like, 'Hey, dude, I'm a cop and this place is about to get raided.'"

Insights and Themes:

• Satirical Examination of History: The episode masterfully blends historical analysis with sharp satire, highlighting the absurdities of past societal norms and political practices.
• Humor in Obscurity: By focusing on obscure newspaper headlines and stories, Dave, Gareth, and Ryan uncover hidden gems of humor, showcasing their ability to find comedy in unexpected places.
• Modern Parallels: The hosts draw parallels between historical events and contemporary issues, providing listeners with both entertainment and a reflection on how much (or how little) society has changed.

Conclusion: Episode 104 of The Dollop is a delightful mix of history and humor, led by the engaging trio of Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and guest Ryan Rogers. Their comedic exploration of an 1885 newspaper offers both laughs and a unique perspective on the past, making it an entertaining listen for history buffs and comedy enthusiasts alike.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

We're going on tour. And this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been a while.

[Dave Anthony]

March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

That is on March 16th. And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Truly never city we've ever gone to.

[Dave Anthony]

That's on March 17th. And then we go to Oklahoma City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is our fave. We often say that it's our number one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to. That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, our favorite city, without question.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we head to Dallas, Texas, on March 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our favorite city.

[Dave Anthony]

There's never been a better city than.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you don't like it, you're a Dallas hole.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you. And then we go to Houston, Texas, on March 23, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas, on March 22 at the Cap City Comedy Club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best in the entire world. Number one city in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get tickets@dollop podcast.com tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Ryan Rogers. Hi, Ryan.

[Ryan Rogers]

Hi, guys. How are we doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. Welcome back.

[Ryan Rogers]

I'm happy to be back. Hey, how many returning guests have you had?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't like to get into that stuff.

[Ryan Rogers]

Oh, I want to hear it. I want to hear it. And how many gay ones? I want to go on the record for diversity and inclusion reasons for the past.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we've definitely had.

[Ryan Rogers]

Name one gay person. Gareth. Name one gay person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holmes. Dave Holmes. Four times.

[Ryan Rogers]

You know what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Very gay. Very gay.

[Ryan Rogers]

Always living in the shadow of Dave Holmes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Liz, you asked, but I will say you might be our second gay returner.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, you're doing it.

[Ryan Rogers]

The numbers are going up, and that's only fairy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we have a whole. We have a whole board where we do gay, black, straight. We really are very aware of it. It's like how super bowl pools are done. That's right. We have one of those, which is why we wanted to have you back. We thought you were a pretty good guest, but for a gay guest, you're great. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

I'm telling. I'm telling. RuPaul. Or whoever's in charge. Gay people don't have leadership. That's a problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's true.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, and that part of the problem with being a straight white is that I want to be the gay leadership, but just not gay.

[Ryan Rogers]

You guys have no one in charge. It's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's really. I mean, Tucker Carlson has kind of taken it. It's pretty tough.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. We're not happy with what's going on at all. Speaking of which, tonight you're headlining a gay show and then two burlesque shows.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And New Orleans. Very New Orleans.

[Ryan Rogers]

And there's a crawfish eating contest after all three of them.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that's where I would go to fuck. Yeah. I love the crawfish. That's all I eat when I go there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, if I may, through process of elimination, you hate gay shows.

[Ryan Rogers]

Me.

[Dave Anthony]

Me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, Dave. Because you mentioned crawfish. And Dave gets active. But then gay show nothing. Burlesque show nothing.

[Dave Anthony]

So I eat as much at the gay shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you. Really?

[Ryan Rogers]

Well, they don't eat food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wanted to find my way in, but that was better.

[Ryan Rogers]

They're eating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So talk to us, Ryan. You have a album recording you're doing and then you're releasing it. Where can people follow you, be a part of that and then also hear the album when it comes out?

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, it's my sophomore album. My first one is called she Is Me. This is my debut album and it's on all streaming platforms. You can find it on Apple music and Spotify, etc. But this next album is called Last Seen Alive. Ryan Rogers, Last Seen Alive. And it's going to be. We're recording it December 28th at Sports Drink Comedy Club in New Orleans. And then it'll be out on Burn this records for June 2025 for Pride Month. That's their Pride Month release. So the gays are. They're taking 2025 back. Someone has to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Over my dead goddamn body. They are gaze tooth and nail.

[Dave Anthony]

That's really a white guy year. I think 2026 is more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you had a good run. It's time for the straight whites back in. Well, Ryan, you know how we do it on this podcast? We're going to go through this weird newspaper. We'd like to start with a guess as to what year the paper is going to be from. I'm sure you. You're a listener, so I'm sure you know why I can't guess first, because then I'll automatically lose. So why don't you guess what year you think this paper could be from?

[Ryan Rogers]

Hmm? Let's go 1908.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's pretty good. Pretty good. Dave's little poker face. And he seems into it, but it's also. I think we're going to go 1951.

[Dave Anthony]

You what? It's 1885.

[Ryan Rogers]

No one was.

[Dave Anthony]

Ryan, of course. Ryan was so much closer than you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course he was weird.

[Ryan Rogers]

Why are you so bad at this? Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not. Yeah, no.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't like how the longer you do this, the worse you get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got one right once the year, and I was.

[Dave Anthony]

You did, though. Well. Vibes. All right, this is January 8, 1885. It is the Northern Tribune from Sheboygan, Michigan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so close to Wisconsin. We got a Sheboygan in Wisconsin?

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't know they had one in Michigan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Fucking assholes.

[Dave Anthony]

Why would they do two?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's a great town. When you go to the Sheboygan in Wisconsin, you're like, how has this not been franchised? It is hopping. It is hopping. It's popping headline in there.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah. At the Sheboygan Crawfish Boil Gay bar, for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. It's called Cheboy Skin.

[Ryan Rogers]

She. Boy Skin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Boy skin.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, what does Sheboygan mean? I want you to tell the people, since it's your. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sheboygan is. Well, it's Native American.

[Dave Anthony]

Which. Which tribe?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Menominee.

[Dave Anthony]

But. Okay, sure. Yeah. Well, yeah. No, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, and what it means is it's. It's a. It's. It's what their springs used to sound like.

[Dave Anthony]

The. The metal springs or the creek.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think?

[Ryan Rogers]

I think you nailed it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank God.

[Dave Anthony]

That was close.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How dare you.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so, the Northern Tribune, on the front page here, there's a section that's just called the City, and then it's a list of things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the idea of the paper.

[Dave Anthony]

List of things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a paper. What we're doing is a paper.

[Dave Anthony]

First item here. There is a rumor that some of the old boys had a parrot and monkey time New Year's night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the greatest.

[Ryan Rogers]

A parrot and monkey time is an expression. It's an expression. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Ryan Rogers]

We're having a parrot and monkey time.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the whole. That's all there is.

[Ryan Rogers]

And the old boys did that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's exactly right. It sounds like something Jimmy Buffett would write and then, like, crumple up and be like, too experimental. Monkeys. I'm pushing.

[Dave Anthony]

Parrot and monkey time. Is an English phrase that was first used in the 1880s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Paris and monkey time.

[Dave Anthony]

And then it doesn't say what it means. Cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. Shit. Nice.

[Dave Anthony]

Awesome.

[Ryan Rogers]

You have to bring it back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's got. I agree with that. It's got to be just debauchery on some level, right? Are you looking at updates?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, I'm trying to, but it doesn't say what it means. It just says that it exists. It says it's now obsolete, if you guys can believe that. Oh, you have to pay for the Oxford dictionary now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So go time, if you ask me.

[Dave Anthony]

Nope, it just says dictionary slang. It just says how it's used. Nobody says what it means.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Ryan Rogers]

It's not an urban dictionary.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, here we go. An argumentative relationship in which two partners fight continually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. One's a parrot, one's a monkey.

[Ryan Rogers]

That's great.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. So. Because in nature we know that parrots and monkeys argue constantly.

[Ryan Rogers]

Sworn enemies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, sworn enemies. Yeah. It's a strife based culture.

[Dave Anthony]

They. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But by the way, the makeup sex. Incredible.

[Ryan Rogers]

Hot. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know if you've never seen a monkey bang the. Out of a parrot. You've not lived.

[Ryan Rogers]

You gotta watch the parrot bang the monkey, though, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really. Yeah, that's pretty good too.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a one time deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And then it's parrot out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Actually, a lot of people think that's how the baboon's anus was formed.

[Dave Anthony]

Why are you talking?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. It just slipped out and it was a big error. Should we talk about the baboon?

[Dave Anthony]

Can you take me?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Should we talk about the. Bam. Well, the parents. I'm picturing a toucan's nose being multicolored. And then I was kind of picturing it sliding into a monkey's ass. And then sort of wizardry happens. And then the anus becomes the baboon anus, which we all know is funny because every baboon. Hold on, I'm talking. Every baboon looks like a clown just ate it.

[Dave Anthony]

True.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. The defense, Reg.

[Dave Anthony]

But all you. You still only have a monkey and a parrot, so I don't know where a baboon comes into the. Like, are you. Is he. Is the monkey getting so hard by the parrot that it also becomes about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Picture the tropical colors of the parrot and then picture it a monkey.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. And then it turns into a sort of baboon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no. It's just the. It's. I'm talking about like evolution. So I Picture Darwin being like, very interesting. And then, like, over time, eventually you just find out that the baboon was created because one day a monkey fucked among a parrot. Fucked up monkey. And that then a baboon asked Gareth, we get it.

[Ryan Rogers]

You saw Wicked. We get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I've seen it four or five times and it's really good. No, but I do think that it's. It's worth exploring how the baboons anus started. I mean, I'm not the only guy who's obsessed with that.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's a very. Yeah, a lot of comics are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. Yeah. It's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, next. The down train was late again in the morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Big deal.

[Dave Anthony]

The snow this week has improved the slaying very much.

[Ryan Rogers]

These are just sentences.

[Dave Anthony]

These are just sentences, but they're complete.

[Ryan Rogers]

The whole time I was like, are these just fragments on, like, pieces of thought?

[Gareth Reynolds]

But now notes folder on his phone just. Yeah, that might have legs.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. It's what he's seeing in the town. It's what he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did they call a shooting around the holidays of slaying? Am I bad on this episode?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's not good. Okay. One lady who attended the game social at the town hall Saturday evening wrote to her absent husband that she had not enjoyed so much. So much kissing in one night since she was married.

[Ryan Rogers]

Damn. Okay, this is good.

[Dave Anthony]

What the fuck? And she wrote to her. She wrote to her husband.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

And then they put it in the paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I don't know who's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's. There's a lot going on there. And that's a bad relationship.

[Ryan Rogers]

No, I think it's good 90s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone's definitely jacking off to this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone's like, oh, it's awesome.

[Ryan Rogers]

Someone's doing that now.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it might be also happening.

[Ryan Rogers]

It's me too.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's see, there's more. J. Dr. J.B. patterson arrived up from Rogers City with Paul Mazewski, supervisor of the town of Krakow, who he was taking to the asylum for the insane at Kalamazoo. He having become insane over the prediction that the world was to come to an end the first of this week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's.

[Dave Anthony]

He was placed in the asylum Tuesday. The doctor returning to Sheboygan last evening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a little like your Twitter, Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

What does that mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a little, you know, predictive for the world ending all the time.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you talking about? Every 10 days, I would say 11, but I hear you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Last Monday at Alex McDonald's camp on Black River. A young man named Charles McDonald got seriously hurt by the careless throwing of an ax by another man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the What? This is 1890s.

[Dave Anthony]

Who's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who's what? They're just throwing axes, bro.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you mean, bro?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bro.

[Ryan Rogers]

How was he injured?

[Dave Anthony]

It says the bit of the ax entered the back, cutting a fearful gash. So he got hit in the back with an ax?

[Ryan Rogers]

He kind of. He kind of got hit with an axe. He kind of got hurt in the lower back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He slightly got axed.

[Ryan Rogers]

That doesn't feel like news.

[Dave Anthony]

Kind of knew, like everything else we've heard.

[Ryan Rogers]

I want to go back to the cheating lady.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could be related. Have you ever seen the footage of. I think it's on Fox. Is it Pete Hegseth who's. It might be Pete Hegseth who accidentally throws an ax into, like, a band player?

[Dave Anthony]

Shut up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, there is. It's like, there's so.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that is him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it him?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is. This is some Heg set shit.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it is. Heg says shit. Yeah, Classic. Drunk and stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, classic.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's. It's. We're saying it's drunk stuff. It's a guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To be fair, he was drunk. To be fair, he was drunk.

[Dave Anthony]

Always drunk. He said always drunk. That's the thing we've learned about him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But kegs.

[Dave Anthony]

He's the drunkest man in America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's awesome.

[Ryan Rogers]

Is this how the first ax throwing gym started? You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. Very well. Could be.

[Dave Anthony]

They. One guy threw it, another guy, and then they were like, we should make like a wall or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone was like, we should serve beer here.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, that's straight people culture. Axon gems are so hetero coded to me.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you. Have you ever been to one?

[Ryan Rogers]

Have I? No. I thought so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The level of offense in your voice.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it is crazy to have a bar where you throw axes. I mean, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, you're betraying the streets. Shut the fuck up.

[Dave Anthony]

I've never been to one. Because there's ax throwing.

[Ryan Rogers]

You could have an ax throwing lesbian bar and call it the hatchet Wound. That could be cool. You know what I mean? Is that an idea? That's something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shark.

[Dave Anthony]

Straight guys staring at me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's the number one idea of this episode so far. I want to beat it. But that's since Bamboo set. A low bar. Yeah, it's a lesbian ax throwing establishment.

[Ryan Rogers]

I'm performing there later. I should have said that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, Fourth show. I forgot.

[Dave Anthony]

Frank Rolo opened the Sheboygan Gymnasium in the bank block last evening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He has things arranged for furnishing any amount of exercise. Indian War clubs in several different sizes. What just happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey.

[Dave Anthony]

What just happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, it's me from the future. No, no, no. Hey, hey. No.

[Dave Anthony]

What just happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey. No.

[Ryan Rogers]

That feels like an SNL sketch. Anything you would need to exercise. Like Indian War clubs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, boys, get ready to work those delts. What do you.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you do with it? Because, I mean, it's. It's like. It's the same thing as. Idea wise as a shillelagh. It's like a. It's like a club with a thing on the end that you can hit people with. What are you doing in an exercise? What are you doing?

[Ryan Rogers]

You're trotties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You're training. You're training. Yeah, it's.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a Pilates thing.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was a Native American, right?

[Dave Anthony]

I did not. I did not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. Pilates. Was a Native American woman. Yeah. Pilates.

[Ryan Rogers]

She's on the gold dollar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, she's on our golden dollar. Idiot. Pilates.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Indian War clubs in several different sizes. Vaulting bars, ladders, boxing gloves and other devices. For now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's taken on the lalanne vibe that I'd expect.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

It's all old timey, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, for sure. I love that.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a ladder. There's a ladder.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A ladder. Well, what. We've talked about this before on the show, but, like, running was considered an awful thing for you until, like, 1840 or something. They were like, what the hell are you doing? You're gonna die, fatso.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. I mean. Okay. So to those sedentary pursuits, the gymnasium will furnish excellent exercise and recreation.

[Ryan Rogers]

A gym open. That's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't hate it. I mean, I hate parts of it.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean. Yeah. There's one part of it I think is specifically very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Looking back, there's a part I do.

[Ryan Rogers]

Hate that this is the first equinox and we're learning that in real time.

[Dave Anthony]

The social given by the Ladies Relief Society at the Town Hall Saturday evening was well attended and enjoyed by old and young.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool.

[Dave Anthony]

So all. All the people, all ages.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Old at 44 and young at 2.

[Ryan Rogers]

Nobody made it till 2. Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's true. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Copenhagen, Blind Man's Bluff, Drop the Handkerchief, and other old time social games I love.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Drop. Drop the Handkerchief's the best game. Now we're talking yeah, just the nicest ass sniffing. What the drop. Drop the handkerchief could not sound more like. I mean, that really is just a euphemism. I went over to a place, dropped a handkerchief and let's just say we're having a baby.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm picturing like you drop a handkerchief and go reach out and pick it up and someone grabs your ass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're such a disgusting man.

[Dave Anthony]

It later become known as ass grabbing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

What are the other ones? Besides this pervy one?

[Dave Anthony]

Besides the purview one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Swipe your debit card.

[Dave Anthony]

Foot on the ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Two eyes, look ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Punt the camel.

[Dave Anthony]

Touch the jacket. Smell the belt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ever played anteater de Venom the snake?

[Dave Anthony]

You guys want to play a game of ox cart?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. Everyone. Come over here. We're going to drop the handkerchief and clean the pumpkin.

[Dave Anthony]

The first one is Copenhagen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Copenhagen.

[Ryan Rogers]

What do we think that is Great question.

[Dave Anthony]

It is a great question because what's going on in Copenhagen then?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hashish maybe? Or maybe. Maybe there's no foreplay and you just get dark early.

[Ryan Rogers]

Pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not really. Nobody laughs.

[Dave Anthony]

It is a board game. It.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's what? A board game. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. I mean, it could be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We. We were. We had a show in Copenhagen one time, Ryan, and it was awesome. But it got dark at like three. And our hotel, when we checked in, they had a. They. They had a like just full bar. And so when you checked in, you were able to go like, I'll take a beer too. And then I was like, that must be great for when people don't have the rooms. They're like, it is the best. And Dave's room wasn't ready. So we're like, that will have a beer. So we had a beer. We went walking around. We got. We. And then we just came back to the hotel and they just served us. It was 24 hours. They just kept serving us to the point where neither one of us remembered anything. And the next day when I came down for breakfast, they were just like, how. How are you today? And I was like, okay. Why? And they were like, you were very intoxicated last night.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

First of all, that's. That's on them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A.

[Ryan Rogers]

When you start drinking at 3pm and it's dark outside, it's 8pm you know what I mean? Where it's like. And then you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what we found. Are we. We were betrayed by this. The outside. We were like. We were fucking hammered. And we were like, it's 6:10. Like, this is crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. I think it's a dice game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay?

[Dave Anthony]

It is. You roll the dice, choose a shape of the common board and draw it on the player sheet. Players score points for completing rows and columns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You would think that if life was so fucking boring, you would at least be able to come up with better. Like board games. Like our board games. Now beat the shit out of these 1890 board games.

[Ryan Rogers]

And no one's playing them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. And they needed them.

[Ryan Rogers]

Right? See, that's why Drop the Handkerchief was like number one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The handkerchiefs of fucking winner Chip was.

[Dave Anthony]

The thing to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just so good.

[Dave Anthony]

And then there's Blind man's Bluff, which is blind tag.

[Ryan Rogers]

Glory hole.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, glory hole. But it's blind glory hole. There's one glory hole and everyone drops their pants and runs around with a heart on. And whoever gets it in the glory hole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, but with a glory hole.

[Ryan Rogers]

Some boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone find the hole. Don't. And no peeking. No peeking.

[Dave Anthony]

That's it. Those are all the games.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Crazy. Okay. Yeah. A big great ride. No notes.

[Dave Anthony]

Some of the older games were carried back to the days of their youth and entered into the sports with a gusto that surprised the more youthful present. And they strove as hard as any to sip sweet nectar from ruby lips. Wait, what? I do not know what just happened.

[Ryan Rogers]

So it was a game night. And then it turned into.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds like it turned into a lot of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot of naughty sweet nectar from Ruby. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

And maybe that relates to the woman earlier who's. Who wrote her husband that she kissed a lot of people at the social. So maybe she went to a game night.

[Ryan Rogers]

And around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then they played one game with my ruby lips. Did you know Hank can make nectar? We would have cleaned it up easier, but someone had dropped the handkerchief about an hour before.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we played the Blind man Glory hall thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then we played Blind man Glory hall.

[Ryan Rogers]

He's like, I'm never leaving town again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What?

[Ryan Rogers]

Like I've been gone for two hours.

[Dave Anthony]

You left town And I'm full of cum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. It's a letter he reads. Jesus Christ, Eileen. This is insane. I didn't know how else to kill you.

[Ryan Rogers]

It's like I'm at work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. I'm so sorry.

[Dave Anthony]

I went to get supplies in the next town.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. The party, it just was crazy.

[Ryan Rogers]

And he's just like. How's. How's the baby? How are our kids?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, oh, the kids. They're playing Copenhagen.

[Ryan Rogers]

I hope not.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, all Right. That was really fucking insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm just gonna say that I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The parts we made up made it worse, but.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, yeah, no, always. Whatever we make up always makes it worse. But I really want to know what the Ruby Lips thing was. But we're not gonna know. We're never gonna know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll show you. Off air.

[Dave Anthony]

The Lansing Republican says rather a funny incident occurred at ex Governor B. Gole's farewell reception. One of the ladies callers had absorbed the idea that the reception was be given by the incoming governor rather than the one who term just ended. And under the impression that she was talking to Governor Alger, she clasped Mr. Bagalo's hand in her own and with intense enthusiasm informed him that she prayed to God day and night for the last six months that we might once more have a Republican governor. And now she sincerely thanked him that her prayer had been answered. It is said that the expression on Governor Begola's face as he heard this surprising conversation of frankness was worth going 75 miles to witness and nearly deprived him of the power of speech for the next five minutes. So the news story, if you're following on the news story, is that she.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Went, we should dig this journalist up and just kill him again.

[Dave Anthony]

She went. There's a lot of words here that shouldn't be a part of this. There's no editing whatsoever. But she went. She just. She went to the. The leaving governor's affair and said, I'm so glad to have the new guy in. And she was talking to the old guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. And that guy was.

[Dave Anthony]

She's a fucking idiot. I mean, that's a big part of this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

She's an idiot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, that. I mean, that's like in today's politics, a story like that would be considered heartwarming.

[Dave Anthony]

Heartwarming, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What do we think she would be drowned.

[Ryan Rogers]

What do we think the barrier was? She just. It was so long ago that she just didn't know who they were. There's no faces. Like, she just went to this reception, you know, and she goes up to Joe Biden and she's like, I'm so glad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, how do you. You're at. I mean, it's. It's the wrong party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You probably knew less of what the politician looked like back then. Yeah, but you're still at the wrong party, Dave. Jesus.

[Dave Anthony]

Gone to the wrong house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pick up the goddamn handkerchief. Let me talk. No, there's no, it's no excuse, but it is like, you know, here's here's one I have. I was on the road once with my buddy Jessica Walters, who was on Arrested Development.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then, remember, I can't remember this woman's name. It's horrible that I can't, because she's so funny. She's done a ton of shit. She was on Just Shoot Me. I think her name's Wendy something. Do you know who I'm talking about? Anyway, she's a much.

[Dave Anthony]

I know who you're talking about, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She'S a much younger actress. She's probably about 35 years younger. And I was at the airport, and my buddy went up to her and.

[Ryan Rogers]

He goes, wendy Malik.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wendy Malik.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he goes up to Wendy Malik, and he must have known her a little. And I almost said, you're amazing on Arrested Development, but for some reason I didn't. And then when I walked away and looked her up, I was like, that would have been the worst moment of my entire life. Yeah, seriously, because she looks so much younger and. Yeah. So, you know, my point is, this woman and I have a lot in common.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not a good point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not a good point. But it is a point.

[Dave Anthony]

But okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think that matters.

[Ryan Rogers]

So the headline should be, I got you. So the headline should be, dumb bitch makes honest Mistake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll be right back. No, the pastimes will be right back. Hey, everybody. You guys know how much we love Rocket Money here on the show. Look, you probably have some stuff in your Ryan. Mute Ryan's micro. So you probably know how much we love it when we find things with Rocket Money. Rocket Money? You got some stuff in your bank account and you don't know where it came from? Well, Rocket Money is going to help you get rid of all those foolish things you didn't know you were paying for anymore. Oh, my God.

[Ryan Rogers]

Ryan, do Squarespace now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Squarespace. We love Squarespace. Squarespace is build your website. You got two things you can do. Squarespace.com, dial up.

[Ryan Rogers]

Pretty litter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pretty litter. This litter is going to turn colors if your cat's got weird piss. Pretty litter. Pretty little.

[Dave Anthony]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Any I do ad requests anymore?

[Dave Anthony]

It's not great. Yeah, we're fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve is more like Steve and Eve. That's right. Listen, we're supporting everybody right now. If you're part of Adam and Eve, you're gonna need some Pretty litter. Pretty litter. Don't drop the handkerchief. Otherwise your litter is going to be red.

[Dave Anthony]

Didn't you mean Adam and Steve? You said Adam, you Said Steve and Eve, Steven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eve. That's the way it's supposed to be. Steve and Eve. That's right. Listen, my main complaint about that argument about Adam and Eve is it should have been Steve and Eve, as in Steve. It was just a different guy. It's still biblically sound, but it was Steve and Eve.

[Ryan Rogers]

That is so close to the Lauren Bacall High Point coffee commercial that you don't. I don't think you realize how close that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't, but I love it.

[Ryan Rogers]

Do you know it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

It's the funniest on the planet.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's great.

[Ryan Rogers]

Oh, my God. Where she's like, my favorite time of day is night. And she's like, oh, my God. It's about decaffeinated coffee. It's fucking funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a good start.

[Dave Anthony]

There's just another. Well, Senator Palmer says that the Republican Party has only let go to spit on its hands. Look out, Fritton 1888.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyone wanna.

[Dave Anthony]

Anybody?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyone info? So why don't you.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I let you guys have these. These are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I got very little spitting on the hands.

[Dave Anthony]

Republicans spitting on the hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Definitely not Mike Johnson doing that.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. It's gotta be.

[Ryan Rogers]

That's a Lauren Boebert thing, right? Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. She did that at Beetlejuice.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

While vaping.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, she's my favorite congresswoman who's jerked a guy off while vaping at Beetlejuice. Without question. Nobody does it better.

[Ryan Rogers]

I have to run for Congress then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, it's great.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm all for it. Like, it was the first thing she did. I was like, oh, she's nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the amount of guys who online were like, hey, man, she's pretty hot. Like, she got hotter than when she did that. And it was like, we need to figure our shit out. Because some guys are like, hey, you know what, though? I want to throw her out of Beetlejuice for jacking me off. You're like, what?

[Dave Anthony]

Democratic papers are giving great prominence to the story that Mr. Cleveland has actually refused to accept a cask of rum presented by an admirer, notwithstanding the fact that the cask was covered with velvet and had golden hoops and faucet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is awesome gay. This is gay, but awesome gay. And by the way, this is how Crown Royal started.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it sounds like it's Liberace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's awesome. It's my booby bourbon.

[Dave Anthony]

For a Democrat, it certainly was a trying ordeal, but Mr. Cleveland intended that the refusal should bamboozle the St. John. Ites.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure, whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

In. In quotations. Into the belief that they had not made much of a mistake in aiding in his election. So he's saying it's a setup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I agree. It.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that what he's saying? It's a setup to give him a very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they're trapping him.

[Dave Anthony]

Ostentatious.

[Ryan Rogers]

Were you going to say fruity?

[Dave Anthony]

No, I was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you were.

[Dave Anthony]

I wasn't going to say fruity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you were.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, I've been around long enough that my mind doesn't let me think up those words anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I was talking to someone about this recently, about how I have a thought bouncer now.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Before a joke, my thought bouncer is like, is that. Man, be careful. Be careful. Just be careful. Be careful with whatever you're trying for here. It could be a miss. A miss.

[Dave Anthony]

I think there's a lot of comedians that don't have the ability to have that thought bouncer.

[Ryan Rogers]

No. Have you ever met a comedian?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're brain dead now, but now it's like comics are like so into the idea of like. Like, I can't get over watching the gymnastics of fuck you cancel culture, and yet it's not real.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, I. It's like my favorite thing to watch is to watch comics be like, well, what are they gonna do? Cancel me? And the answer's like, no, no.

[Ryan Rogers]

No one knows who you are. First of all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, first of all, nobody knows who you are. But then also the idea that it's like, people have always gotten mad at people who were dickheads.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's just like part of everything. It's just now there's social media, so it's just this whole new thing.

[Dave Anthony]

When I was starting out, you would go on stage and if you went over the live with a joke, the crowd be like, boo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. And that would be like, I'm being canceled. They're shadow banning me.

[Ryan Rogers]

This is what Austin is. You know that, right? That's what it is. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't know.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yes. One after another all night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God. How great would it we. We should start a petition to fully cancel Austin. We're gonna cancel it.

[Ryan Rogers]

I think a lot of people would be behind that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But the mother.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, we're canceled now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I can't. I can't go on record personally.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah. I didn't say that.

[Dave Anthony]

Because you're still trying to get on Rogan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Listen, Not. No, you know my stance. If I never get on there, he should be a pariah. If I have an opportunity to Be on there then. He's a great guy.

[Ryan Rogers]

I've been pretty clear, honestly. Same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how you get a. That's how you get a special on Netflix now. Yeah, Rogan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. Yeah. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

And no one else gets him anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm actually. If I ever go on Rogan, I'm gonna release it as my special.

[Ryan Rogers]

That's funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just eliminate all the interior. Just gonna be like, that's it. I think I'm good. I'll cut out what he says. And that's my new special.

[Ryan Rogers]

That might be one of the funniest things I've ever heard. That's hilarious.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way. I went on stage last night and talked about the CEO, and I gotta say, not a lot of people are on the CEO side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is crazy how unified we all are. It's so fun. That's probably why it's called United Health Insurance. Because we. Everyone was like, yeah, cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we should do that more. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There wasn't even that normal, like, three to four hour duration where you're like, what's the line with jokes here? You were just like, oh, yeah, let her rip. We're all good here. It was like 10. It was like 10 people were like, excuse me. He had a family. And you're like, excuse me. So did the millions of people he over.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. And all the people he killed. Yeah. Okay. Well, we. We've met our stand. Claire. Miss Clara Sack Rider. My God. Oh, my God. Clara. Clara.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got to call bar with that name. I mean, that's. That. That is full prank setup.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm looking for Clara. Last name Sackrider.

[Ryan Rogers]

She's. She's on this season of Drag Race uk. That's the name of one of the girls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sack Rider. Yeah. Last name's Ryder, first name's Sack. Looking for a Sack Rider. Anyone hear a sack rider?

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. Claire Sackrider of Heart, goes to all the fires in the village. Of Heart. Heart of Heart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Christ. You guys heard about that sack writer from Hard. By the time she left, it was soft. That's all. Sack rider for you.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. Clara Sackrider of Heart, goes to all the fires in the village and lends a hand in fighting the flames.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll bet she does.

[Ryan Rogers]

Damn hero.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

The Argus nominates her for chief of the department. There's a. I think there's hidden meeting. Yeah, there's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a lot not being said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think definitely an uphill battle either way.

[Dave Anthony]

This just seems like code the whole thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. This is an interesting headline. Maimed statesman. How well, Gareth, I'm ready.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I'm. Listen, I'm salivating how well I remember.

[Dave Anthony]

What may be called the total cripples in Congress during the past 20 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Should have probably jumped in with what I had prior to that. Obviously waited a little too long, but here we go.

[Dave Anthony]

All told, there were four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, welcome to the age poorly section of the paper.

[Dave Anthony]

I think he's being positive about them. I think he's saying, like, that's one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of those hardest things. Like, the strangest things, when it's like, someone who's being, like, super progressive, but the terms are awful. Like, they'll be dropping the N word and be like, n words have rights, Edwards. I'd be like, it's. Yeah, yeah. But, sir, please. Oh, my God. No, look, stupid broads should be allowed to drive. Sir. Sir, I'm. Unless I'm an ally.

[Dave Anthony]

First. Who gave way was grand old Thaddeus Stevens. He was always lame from an ill formed foot.

[Ryan Rogers]

Oh, well, now we're going to describe each one of them individually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's go slowly.

[Ryan Rogers]

Love it. Yeah, totally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want to say walk us through it, but get us through it.

[Dave Anthony]

I have heard he did not walk at all until he was six years old. He always walked with great difficulty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, first.

[Dave Anthony]

Never. Never could walk far. And during the last few years of his life, he could not walk at all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was lazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Every day he was taken from his home near the Capitol by two strong colored men in an easy chair, which they hoisted on their shoulders. And thus, the great commoner was born through this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't use the word commoner.

[Ryan Rogers]

Wait, commoners?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, commoner's the problem, sir.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't have two black guys carry you in. A lazy boy in common.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a lot of issues. And the one you picked was not the one I thought.

[Ryan Rogers]

No. Every sentence got worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every sentence got worse. Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Holy. Crowds usually gather to see him pass and rev.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They did. They were probably. That's awful.

[Dave Anthony]

They reverently lifted their hats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, way to go. That's the dream. Someday I want to end up like that guy.

[Dave Anthony]

He was put down in his place in the house, and when the session was over, he was taken back to his house and put to bed. Well, that sounds like a lot of. That sounds like a lot of our current congressmen who. And women who can't really do anything else.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but that's alcohol based. Because they're also faced.

[Dave Anthony]

Mr. Stevens often laughingly spoke of the two colored carriers as his pallbearers.

[Ryan Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just get through it.

[Ryan Rogers]

Well, at least you had a sense of humor about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. I bet not all three of them did, but one did.

[Dave Anthony]

They were probably thinking, God, I wish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're like, oh, that'll be wish.

[Ryan Rogers]

Drop them. Oops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Am I right, guys who work for me despite. Never mind. Yeah, hilarious.

[Ryan Rogers]

Wait, did they say it was a. Did they say it was a Lazy Boy, or did we say it was a Lazy Boy?

[Dave Anthony]

No, I think we threw that in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Ryan Rogers]

It was funnier then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's what it came out of. He was like, I guess you could call me a Lazy Boy. And one guy was like, well, that's pretty good.

[Ryan Rogers]

That's how the Lazy Boy was invented. And they had to subtract the two black guys from it, you know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Does it come with the two black men? We need to figure out this business model a little bit better.

[Dave Anthony]

Another helpless cripple was Dara Darwin Finney.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

We've really. This is really a gold mine of just horrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But again, he's talking about them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

He. It's reverence. He enjoys what they. He's saying, this is great. This is great stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It's just hard.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oliver Morton, I think one of the biggest men ever in Congress was another helpless paralytic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. You know what? I don't think he's trying to be positive. I think he's a. I don't help.

[Dave Anthony]

I think he's. I think he's saying that even though their bodies are messed up, that they could still do their job. I think that. I think he thinks he's being because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because another useless piece of. With a heart of gold.

[Dave Anthony]

Most people then were like, well, that person's broken. Throw them away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I think he's having the counter offending them.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

This feels more like a creative writing exercise than it does journalism. Like, there's so much description, Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It's a lot of buildup. You're like, and what's the story? Hold on. More useless than a mermaid on land.

[Ryan Rogers]

He's just finding 24 ways to say differently abled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Ryan Rogers]

Not good ones, but he's doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

He was never out of pain. He too had to be carried into and out of the Senate chamber in a chair. He was a poor man and could ill afford the low coup he was obliged to own.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The real headline is there used to be a Poor guy. In the Senate.

[Ryan Rogers]

Were all of these people. Did all these people hold office?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, everyone were reading. Everyone reading about held office.

[Ryan Rogers]

Okay. That's the craziest part to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Ryan Rogers]

That there's just like half a dozen people that they're being carried in for session.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As well as you would imagine back then. I mean, think about, like, how long it has taken for us to have certain. Like. Like we just have our first trans con. Like, it takes so long for anyone who's not considered, quote unquote, like in the mainstream to get. And yet in this era, they're like, let me walk you through the 20 greatest cripples of Congress. It's like. It is a little shocking that even back then they were like, that was happening.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, Thaddeus Stevens was a huge anti slavery guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

The first guy that we read.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah. We all know that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The other helpless state statesman of the four I alluded to was Alexander Stevens. He was truly a phenomenon. Built of nothing but skin and bones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He never weighed most of us.

[Dave Anthony]

He never weighed more than from 80 to 100 pounds. Such a little bit of a thin face, skeletal hand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You never saw God. What's his secret?

[Ryan Rogers]

I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jealous.

[Ryan Rogers]

He's got my gold. Wait. So wavy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what? You've got that look I'm after.

[Ryan Rogers]

So gaunt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

I like the way your face sinks in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm really sick.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's beautiful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Help.

[Ryan Rogers]

I keep picturing Anna Nicole Smith's husband. That's like, you see J. Howard Marshall.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Oh, that was a sexy pair.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that guy. What are the odds they ever did?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. They did. Yeah, they did 100. They did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, man.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What a.

[Ryan Rogers]

All right, roll the tape.

[Dave Anthony]

For him. He had. Or a pump or whatever, but he was doing it. A rich guy like that. He's doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just like an oil well pump on his, like, almost ready.

[Ryan Rogers]

He had two black guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just slowly, like. All right, man. There you go. Keep building, guys. We're getting closer. Bring her in.

[Dave Anthony]

He had such skeleton hands. You never saw yet how bright his eyes were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd like to do it on my side. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

And what exhibitions of energy. His voice was one of the strongest and clearest I ever heard. And when he spoke, my masters wheeling his chair backward and forward in the space in front of the speaker's desk. He was listened to by the whole house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

He had to be taken home in his chair too. He had a body servant, a young, a black man, 6ft 4in height and admirably proportioned. Mr. Stevens used to say, chuckling quietly the while, that he did not know what should do when Sam died. What he should do when Sam died. Oh, he didn't know. He didn't know what he was doing. I don't know what I'll do. My slave dies. Oh, we have fun. All four of these men are now dead. Three of them certainly were great. And it seems to me. Wait, is that three are great? I don't know. What's the other one? Four dead.

[Ryan Rogers]

Three of them are great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the. This is insane.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, three of them certainly were great. And it seems to me that the places of Thad Stevens and Governor Morton never can be filled. Well, that was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's a tell. As to who two of the good ones are.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, what the. Did I just read?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, it's just horrible. I don't even know where. I feel like we. That we got so thrown in the deep end of that pool that I don't even know where joke territory was or wasn't.

[Ryan Rogers]

Here's the only.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, we let it rip back there, but I'm like, what was. What the actual fuck just happened?

[Ryan Rogers]

The only thing I know for certain is you know how Sam Mendes is doing that movie about the Beatles where it's four different movies and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

That's what they're going to do with this Showtime original series.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. About these dudes, the Carry Ons.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I mean, it's just crazy that the guy was trying to be nice about all that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a good guy.

[Dave Anthony]

These are good people. Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And other people are like, you progressive weirdo.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, they're not. They shouldn't be allowed in there. That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that's. And yeah, that's. The counter is like, what are you talking about? Yeah, they don't have regular brains. What are you talking about?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, imagine knowing. Knowing how the right wing is today. Imagine how brutal they were to a guy who is disabled, who is anti slavery.

[Ryan Rogers]

But then there was Madison Cawthorn, though. Remember that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, true. And by the way, what a ride that guy took us on. I mean, you know, talk about that. That candle got extinguished. He didn't just fade away.

[Ryan Rogers]

Did they kill him? What happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I don't know. I think he probably is dead. But, man, I mean, when it was cut with those pictures of him banging naked, I mean, you were like, jesus, what the. How did he sneak in?

[Dave Anthony]

That was a good time oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And today's Republican Party. I think you could still get away with having, like, a black guy carry someone in and be like, relax.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop it.

[Dave Anthony]

100. They would. They would love that guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They would vote for him. Like, yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

Howie conciliated her. A conductor on the Boston and Providence Road tells the story of a young lady in this town. Of this town who entered the noon train for Boston. She seated herself opposite a gentleman who. From the first. With one eye at least.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this an eagle song? It Just Rings a Bell seemed to.

[Dave Anthony]

Be started staring fixedly at her, and she became indignant. Indignant. And inquired, why do you look at me so, sir? And he said he was not aware of having done so, but she insisted. I beg your pardon, madam, but it's this eye, is it not? Lifting his finger into his left optic. Yes, sir, it's that eye. Well, madam, that eye won't do you any harm. It's a glass eye, madam, and only a glass eye. I hope you'll excuse it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fake. Fake. Here's why I'm calling fake on this one, okay? In this era, a man ogling a woman was considered. I'm not saying that the woman's discomfort was not existing, but imagine if a woman said to a guy, like, are you staring at me? He'd be like, yeah, I wanted to see your tits.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, like, it would be like that. You might be right. But I don't know. I don't know in the upper brackets of society if that was the case.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here, let me. Let me rephrase it. I'm trying to look at your tatties.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yes, Much better. Yeah, much better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now you hear it.

[Ryan Rogers]

So the news story is she confronted this guy about looking at her, and he was like, I'm not. It's a glass eye.

[Dave Anthony]

My glass eye is. Is doing the business.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, I think that's fake too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

So it sounds like a fun line a dude would use.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it sounds like a. It sounds. It sounds. It's like a story for guys to be like, yeah, that'll teach him. Now they better let us ogle here.

[Dave Anthony]

He kept. He kept talking. I hope you'll excuse it, but upon my soul, I'm not surprised that even a glass eye should feel interested and pretty. A woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've got a big bulge in your pants. I've been twig hunting.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah, you're totally right.

[Dave Anthony]

It is. Yeah, it's so. It's bullshit.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, I used to do this thing. If I was Out. And someone was hitting on me and I was not interested. I would do this thing where I'd lean over, I'd get really close, and I'd be like, hey, dude, I'm a cop and this place is about to get raided, so you should probably get out of here. And it worked every time.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you serious?

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God. Yeah, it works every. That is so fucking good.

[Ryan Rogers]

It's true. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I don't think I've ever been hit on in a way where I'm like, I gotta pretend a raid's about to happen.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah. This place about to get ready. You should probably get out of here. Oh, thanks a lot, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks. Yeah. Close my tab out.

[Ryan Rogers]

This is why I had to stop doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, get your friend. Your friend's pretty hot. Could he come over here real quick? I have to talk to him real quick. And then we're going to do the raid. That's so good. That's just good in general. That's just a fun line. That's just. That's if you want to ruin everyone's night publicly. I'm gonna get out of here.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, it's good.

[Dave Anthony]

The snow plows out was out again Tuesday and done Good work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Ryan Rogers]

End of. End of story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

End of story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. No notes.

[Ryan Rogers]

Beautiful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Moving on.

[Dave Anthony]

The latest frightful example of the evils of the use of liquors and tobacco come from Wisconsin. Where. Where the else would it come from? Just put on a Packers game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's about. It's about when me and my buddies used to drink gold schlager and pound those one hitters.

[Dave Anthony]

In the following. Take it from a paper in that state. Quote, Bat Le Perrier. Le Perrier, Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. Bat Leperrier, Absolutely. Yeah. Bat Le Perrier. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

I wish I was named Bat. That's a great name, Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me tell you the beauty of America.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not too late for you to go by. No, it isn't.

[Dave Anthony]

It is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it is not.

[Dave Anthony]

Bat Anthony.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bat Anthony.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, dude.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going bad, Anthony.

[Ryan Rogers]

Do it at the mic this week. Go to an open mic and.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ryan Rogers]

And see if it works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just do a bunch of stuff about how you saw your parents killed in front of you and it made you want to be a comedian. And then when they give you the light, call it the bat signal. All right. They give me the bad signal. I should get out of here real quick. Some about laying roses on concrete where your parents passed away. Doesn't bring them back. All right. Doesn't bring them back. Don't listen to the rose guy. Thanks, everybody.

[Dave Anthony]

Bat Le Perier, who can daily be seen on the streets of Marshfield, was born in the Michigan Peninsula in 1778, his father being one of Astor's fur traders. He served as a scout and interpreter in the War of 1812 and was a soldier throughout the campaign in Mexico. For 95 years, he has used to pack, go, and will accept anything that comes handy in the way of liquor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Possibly the fact that the young man was born. Well, okay. Young. He's now like 95, they say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Possibly the fact that the young man was born in the salubrious climate of Michigan, that means very salubrious. May have had something to do in withstanding the usual evils attributed to the tobacco and liquors. This is saying that it is. It is a frightful example of the evils of the use of tobacco and liquor. And. And he died. He died on the street, or he's just seen on the street. He's just on the street all the time. But he's 95.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's.

[Dave Anthony]

They're saying it's bad, but then they're saying this guy just is constantly drunk and smoking. So it. He's alive. He's alive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you doing your Frankenstein? Are you doing your Dr. Frankenstein right now?

[Dave Anthony]

No one lives to 95 at this time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is. Listen, there are these outliers. They happen. My grandmother smoked forever. My grandmother smoked, then tried to quit smoking with nicotine chews, then kept the chews and kept smoking, and she was like, 96. They happen. Some people God just wants to keep.

[Ryan Rogers]

And then they run for president, and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then they're going to be the president.

[Dave Anthony]

But that one's not going to last long. How, Everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean? Are you saying Trump isn't going to last long?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean? He's going to die soon?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I don't think he's made me through four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ryan, you want to take some action on that? What do you want?

[Ryan Rogers]

You want me to do it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We. Rocket money. Rocket money helps you find unwanted subscriptions you didn't know about.

[Ryan Rogers]

Now I'm a Dave. I'm a Dave. 100%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, I think we're getting eight.

[Dave Anthony]

Ooh. Everybody was surprised at the agility of our heavy councilman in chasing after a kiss at the game social Saturday evening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's my glass eye, you fool. So he's trying to get it.

[Dave Anthony]

So they're saying a heavy. A big. A big heavy guy was riding and chasing girls trying to get a kiss. And everyone was like, ah. How about that guy? Look at him move.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's a better headline. Fat man kind of rapist. That'll get you. He's whacking off in the bushes. It's a glass cock, you idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not looking at you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, relax. Stop it.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sorry, is my glass dick looking at you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm Weinsteining.

[Dave Anthony]

He doesn't have one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have what?

[Dave Anthony]

A dick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you never read the reports?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why? How did he rainforest cafe that plant. Then what? You know what?

[Dave Anthony]

It's like a. It's like a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the plants.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like a. It's been like infected with something and it's gone. It's like a. What's left of a stump. It's not. There's no dick there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a freak. Someone has to.

[Ryan Rogers]

On my work computer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, get out that work computer. Hey, Ryan, we wanted to talk to you a little bit about your googling.

[Ryan Rogers]

Why is Harvey Weinstein's stump, first of all, your wallpaper?

[Gareth Reynolds]

First of all, why is it the wallpaper? Second of all, it costs 5.95.

[Ryan Rogers]

Why is it the background on your Google? What is it like, your zoom?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the zoom background. Where are. Ryan, where are you calling from? My home. I'm near Weinstein stump. I just had to get out of the city for a minute.

[Dave Anthony]

We had just a daisy of a wedding item written up, but heard just before mailing that we had been misinformed. The next time Jeff Craig lies to us, we're going to kick him. Jeff knew we were just wild to get into that item. Just. I like Jeff. I'm on Jeff's side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, that's awesome. Lying to a paper just to fuck with them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that is good.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, they knew. He knew. They'd check into it and ask whoever was involved.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're like, you son of a. We have very important stories to take care of in this paper.

[Dave Anthony]

About the biggest mash we have made this season was at the supper table on the night of the soldiers of the soldiers dance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me tell you about the most potatoes we've squished. Here's an item.

[Dave Anthony]

Cranberry pie was the object on which we placed our affection. It is very seldom we get mashed on good victuals and when we get away. But when we get away from home we are wholly unimaginable that in respect we had a partner on either side who, however, that were ready to choke us off as soon as the vest buttons began to fly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So just a massive meal where everyone got real fat and giggly and if you were going to choke, someone was there for you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he got. Yeah, he got. Yeah. Someone stopped him from eating because he. Or else he would have kept eating. And like a goldfish, that's what RFK.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is going to be like. And I'm excited for it.

[Dave Anthony]

He is turning into a tomato.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really. I only try my RFA K impression on here, but I'll try it now again.

[Ryan Rogers]

Do it right now.

[Dave Anthony]

Do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm actually not turning into a tomato at all if I'm. What I'm actually doing is I'm trying to find a different. Wait. Take the seed out of the tomato and I will only try it on here. And I will say market improvement since the last time.

[Dave Anthony]

It's good, but it's hard to get that. It's hard to really get that gravelly thing where he's just like. He's just got rocks in his throat. Whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My. My throat rocks.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but see, you go ahead, man. Robert Evans did a four part behind the bastards on rfk and it is incredible. It's incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I'll listen.

[Ryan Rogers]

I mean, I can't make me so mad, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know it's going to be problematic, but I can't wait.

[Dave Anthony]

But I mean, he's a psychopath.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

He's truly a psychopath.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, you know, it's bad because they let him live.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that's how, you know, the government's like, all right, let him cook.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, let that one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's see what this guy's got.

[Dave Anthony]

That one goes, I. I just picked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Up a bear in a canal. Let him go. Let's see what this guy's doing.

[Ryan Rogers]

That one's okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Dave Anthony]

Last one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna make a coat out of Dalmatians.

[Dave Anthony]

Last one. Hank Bradley went blundering around in a careless way on the night of the dance and ran his right eye against Johnny Brooks fist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's glass. So Johnny Brooks hit him.

[Dave Anthony]

How did Johnny Brooks punch him? In the face? But it sounds like Hank was being an. And so that's why Johnny Brooks hit him. Because you wouldn't write it up. This.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Hank must be more careful in the future or sometime he will get hurt. Wow, this is like a threat.

[Ryan Rogers]

Yeah, it's a newspaper threat for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Newspaper is very specific. This is what Trump wants journalism to turn. He was A rude guy. And if he does it again, I will hit him with a car. He'll be hit with a car. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, shit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And once they hit him with a car, I'd like to mount his head on my wall. Yeah, okay, you fucking sicko. Just relax over there, rfk. I'm just saying it could be nice.

[Dave Anthony]

I made a code out of my sister.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe we grill him at the barbecue I'm having on set. Stop talking for a minute. You really. You're creeping me out, and that's actually saying something. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

I just want them to come back with a new season of Larry David and have Cheryl Hines be the dead wife. Oh, my God, they're no longer around. Wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, fuck. I can only imagine what it was like when he was like, I really am a big fan of the show. Larry Davis back. Getting him a drive on. Oh, shit. Well, Ryan, we've had some laughs, we've had some fun, We've learned very little. Remind everyone again where to follow you and where to go for your album taping and all that.

[Ryan Rogers]

This has been so much fun. I'm curious to see what we keep from this episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Might be a 15 minuter. It really might be. Yeah. Could be short.

[Ryan Rogers]

You can find me on Instagram @ryanairodgers or ryanrogerscomedy, it's my website. Or Ryan Rogerscommedy on TikTok. And again, my album recording, Last Seen Alive is going to be December 28th in New Orleans at Sports Drink Comedy Club, and it'll be out on Burn this records in June 2025. Thank you for having me, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We will have you back. We love you. Listen, like we said, we're not keeping track necessarily of how many gay guests we have, but you've been a really good one, so we appreciate it.

[Ryan Rogers]

It'd be better if you did and kept it on the wall, for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, we'll show you the wall next time. No problem.

[Dave Anthony]

We'll put it up right behind me. We'll put it right behind me over here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what we want to do. We want to be known as that. Hey, Dave, put another tick under gaze. All right, Ryan, thanks again, buddy.

[Ryan Rogers]

Such a pleasure. Bye, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, thanks. All right. Hi there, doll heads. Calling on the gear force. That's right. Stand up comedy. I got it. All right. I am going to be in Philadelphia on December 27th, 28th and 29th. Helium. You can go to Garethrons.com for all these. I will be doing cap city comedy in Austin, Texas. New Year's Eve 2 shows there. January 4th I will be in Burbank, California at Sweet Old Flappy John's Flappers, Batavia, Illinois. January 9th and 10th and 11th. It keeps coming in. Then I'll be in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. January 12th I will be at Acme in Minneapolis, Minnesota. January 15th, 16th, 17th, 18th. And then I will be in San Francisco. February 12th Sacramento. February 13th I will be in Lutherville, Maryland. I think it's Baltimore. April 17th at McGoobies. I'll be there April 18th as well. And I'll be there April 19th. Go to GarethReynolds.com for tickets and information. Join me Gear Force Used to be Garmin. Now you're gear for us. Gear threads dot com.