108 - The Past Times with Jen Kober

Summary

Summary of "The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds" Episode 108: "The Past Times with Jen Kober" Release Date: January 17, 2025

---

Introduction

In Episode 108 of The Dollop, titled "The Past Times with Jen Kober," comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by guest Jen Kober. The trio embarks on their comedic exploration of historical events by dissecting a peculiar newspaper from the year 1869. True to The Dollop's format, the hosts blend humor with historical analysis, offering listeners an entertaining yet informative experience.

---

Main Discussion: Analyzing the 1869 Newspaper

The core of the episode revolves around unraveling the contents of an 1869 newspaper from Arkadelphia, Arkansas. Dave Anthony reads various articles, which the hosts and Jen humorously interpret and expand upon.

1. Tenant Default Case

• Overview: The newspaper details a court case involving a tenant who defaults on rent.

• Comedic Analysis:

  • Dave Anthony [12:02]: "An incident in a justice's court... the defendant, an unredeemable scamp, fond of liquor."
  • Gareth Reynolds [14:14]: Elaborates on the tenant's drunken state, leading to humorous banter about the tenant's characterization.

• Notable Quote:

  • Gareth Reynolds [15:22]: "He's the strangest thing since sliced bread."

2. Naming Conventions in 19th Century Arkansas

• Overview: Discussion on how streets and roads were named during the 1800s.

• Comedic Analysis:

  • Jen Kober [13:37]: Highlights the practicality and mundanity of numerical street names like "1 Southeast, 2 Southeast."

• Notable Quote:

  • Dave Anthony [13:55]: "If you're always number one, does that make you superior?"

3. Culinary Mishaps: The Monkey Chef

• Overview: A whimsical story about a monkey trained to assist in a French nobleman's kitchen.

• Comedic Analysis:

  • Gareth Reynolds [44:15]: Describes the monkey's misadventures, leading to humorous scenarios involving hawks and partridges.
  • Jen Kober [52:15]: Introduces the concept of "monkey sauce," blending absurdity with culinary terms.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Dave Anthony [47:04]: "Let him Disney Legal."
  • Gareth Reynolds [50:34]: "The protein breaks it down. What you're having now is hawk with what we call the monkey sauce."

4. Public Health Remedies in 1869

• Overview: Examination of outdated medical remedies featured in the newspaper.

• Comedic Analysis:

  • Dave Anthony [58:29]: Reads a mock recipe intended to cure smallpox, blending genuine historical practices with absurd ingredients like "foxglove" and "newt."
  • Jen Kober [59:12]: Critiques the effectiveness and safety of such remedies humorously.

• Notable Quote:

  • Gareth Reynolds [59:31]: "We got big old pox for a child."

---

Guest Spotlight: Jen Kober

Throughout the episode, Jen Kober not only contributes to the comedic discourse but also promotes her own stand-up comedy special.

1. Crystal Light Anecdote

• Description: Jen shares her unique method of preparing Crystal Light in a "Wonder Woman cup," providing humorous tips on making it frothy and cold.

• Notable Quote:

  • Jen Kober [02:35]: "It's not just pink lemonade; it's an adventure in every sip."

2. Promotion of "No Flies on Me"

• Description: Jen discusses her comedy special, "No Flies on Me," recorded at Brad Garrett's club in Las Vegas, emphasizing its humor and availability for free on her website.

• Notable Quote:

  • Jen Kober [06:19]: "Join me in my Wonder Woman cup; it's where the magic happens."

---

Comedic Improvisations and Banter

The episode is peppered with improvisational humor, miscommunications, and playful jabs among the hosts.

1. Microphone Troubles and Technical Glitches

• Description: Early in the episode, Gareth experiences microphone issues, leading to humorous exchanges about sound quality.

• Notable Quote:

  • Dave Anthony [04:44]: "Gareth, you're a genius at being silent."

2. Satirical Takes on Modern Issues

• Description: The hosts draw parallels between historical anecdotes and contemporary societal issues, infusing satire and wit.

• Notable Quote:

  • Dave Anthony [57:06]: "That's bullshit. Now he's got a way for you to figure out how to get rid of your smallpox."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dave Anthony [14:32]: "Men's rights in 1869? That's like asking cavemen about modern technology."
• Gareth Reynolds [30:00]: "That's a Cobb. Always a Cobb in the mix."
• Jen Kober [50:25]: "It's a cocky monkey with a black tie."
• Dave Anthony [58:57]: "If you can have, fight for men's rights and get a recipe for smallpox. I feel like it's a banner day."

---

Conclusion

Episode 108 of The Dollop successfully marries history with humor, offering listeners a delightful journey through a bygone era's peculiarities. With the addition of Jen Kober, the episode gains fresh comedic perspectives, enhancing the overall experience. Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds continue to excel in making history accessible and entertaining, ensuring that each episode of The Dollop remains both educational and amusing.

---

Additional Information

• Jen Kober's Comedy Special: "No Flies on Me" is available for free streaming at jencobra.com.
• Upcoming Tours: Gareth Reynolds is embarking on a comedy tour across various cities, promoting both his performances and The Dollop podcast. For tickets and information, visit garethreynolds.com.

---

Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's substantive discussions and comedic elements.

Transcript

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Hey, podcast listeners. Roy Wood Jr. Here, and I want to tell you about my new stand up comedy special. It's hoolarious and it's streaming now on Hulu. I did this special because the world has lost connection. We don't interact like we used to. You won't talk with your mom on the phone for 10 minutes, but you'll listen to a stranger talk on a podcast for an hour. You can listen to the podcast and call your mom that too. We all just need a little perspective. So don't miss my new stand up special, Roy Wood Jr. Lonely flowers. Now streaming on Hulu.

[Dave Anthony]

We're going on tour. And this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been a while.

[Dave Anthony]

March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

That is on March 16th. And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We never love the city we've ever gone to.

[Dave Anthony]

That's on March 17th. And then we go to Oklahoma City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is our fav. We often say that it's our number one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to. That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, our favorite city, without question.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we head to Dallas, Texas on March 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our favorite city.

[Dave Anthony]

There's never been a better city than better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you don't like it, you're a Dallas hole.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you. And then we go to Houston, Texas on March 21. City, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best city in the entire world. Number one city in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get tickets@dollar podcast.com tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, speaking of podcasts, that's exactly what this is. Welcome to the past times. This is the intro to the show. This is where the podcast sort of lets you know what it is so that people go, oh, okay, there's a ruse. There's a game to this. Now I'm gonna dive into it. It's called the Pastimes. You know it each. Shut up, Dave. Each week we go through newspaper. I'm being meta from a random date in history picked out by none other than the Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest, the great Jen Cobra. Thank you for coming back, Jen.

[Jen Cobra]

Of course. I had to get done with you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're a hit.

[Jen Cobra]

I'm glad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm glad people loved you and. And we fell in love with you in the last episode. But even more when you revealed that you're drinking beverages from 1992. Crystal Light.

[Jen Cobra]

In my Wonder Woman cup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In my Wonder Woman cup.

[Jen Cobra]

First, here's what you have to do because this keeps it cold. You have to put the crystal light. I get the single packets, snip them off with a scissor at a diagonal angle. Easier to pour? Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jen Cobra]

Pour into the water bottle, shake the out of it. Then I pour it into my Wonder Woman cup so it's all nice and frothy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you do a lemonade crystal light. And for those of us who thought crystal light just sort of pink lemonade. For those of us who thought crystal light was gone. It's just. This is big.

[Jen Cobra]

It's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, people. What is it running?

[Jen Cobra]

What's it running for now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I was just gonna ask what is like, what are we doing price wise?

[Jen Cobra]

I don't know if you remember back in the day, a box of that was about 469 and now it's 238 at the Walmart. Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

It's going backwards.

[Jen Cobra]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I don't know what to say about that. I got to be.

[Jen Cobra]

It's real good, y'all. If you haven't given it a taste, you need to go back in that Wayback machine.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't hear Gareth. Can you hear Gareth?

[Jen Cobra]

I can't hear Gareth either. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, you're a idiot. Are you muted? You know what? This is maybe the way we should do the podcast. You're listening to the past times where we read a newspaper from back in history and it's just me and.

[Jen Cobra]

Gareth is muted somewhere in the Ethernet.

[Dave Anthony]

To be fair, this is Gareth's first time podcasting, so these things can be really, really hard. Now I can hear your speak.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi.

[Jen Cobra]

There you are.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. So here's what's great, Jen. I'm going to tell you what's great, Dave. Most times people can't hear Dave with his microphone. Dave, not happy. I unplugged my microphone once. He's ready to go. He's shellacking time. Okay, you know what it is?

[Jen Cobra]

He's pickled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's pickled and he's advertised that very clearly.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth keeps his mic too high, so it makes things hard talk to talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To Burns about whose audio is good. Whose audio isn't. Whenever.

[Jen Cobra]

Girls, girls, you're both pretty. You're both pretty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Burns. Who's consistently got good audio and who's got problematic audio? Oh, he's gone.

[Jen Cobra]

What just happened there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that anger?

[Dave Anthony]

Apologize.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you doing? I didn't apologize for anything.

[Dave Anthony]

Apologize.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That scared us. No, I'm not going to apologize, David. Unfortunately, we can't do it without Dave's paper, Jen.

[Jen Cobra]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are we good, Dave, or do we need to start?

[Dave Anthony]

Apologize.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I'm not going to apologize. You're saying the things that are crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

I can hear an echo.

[Jen Cobra]

I can, too.

[Dave Anthony]

So apologize.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shit my pants. Okay, so can you hear an echo?

[Dave Anthony]

No, I don't hear an echo.

[Jen Cobra]

Now.

[Dave Anthony]

Now I don't hear an echo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right, we're good. Are we rolling?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. When? We will try. I just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are we going.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody trusts you. At this point, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At this point, I have lost credibility. Do you think we need to redo the intro or are we.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure Burns will be. If he can piece together my audio, he'll be able to figure it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why are you so upset? You said the same thing to me.

[Dave Anthony]

What? I was listening. I couldn't hear you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jen, welcome back. I believe we've talked about Crystal Light. What can we promote for you, Jen? You have a special. Where can people find it? It's called All Flies on Me.

[Jen Cobra]

No Flies on Me.

[Dave Anthony]

So different, man. You're not coming out of the gate very well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is what cost me Late night with Seth Meyers the hosting job.

[Jen Cobra]

It's what? It's going very well. Is what I think it's going very well. I am. I have a special, no Flies on Me that was recorded over at Brad Garrett's club in Las Vegas. Brad Garrett produced it, so it's pretty funny. And you can see [e-mail] for free. Absolutely free. You just click on the little thing and it shows you the little thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feels like quite a reveal. Yeah. I don't know. Careful. The dance didn't help, but my mother and I were watching Wheel of Fortune the other night. Things are fine. And every time this guy picked a letter, he did a little side ship shimmy that was like, dare I say rapey? And my mother and I picked up on it early and we were like, this is going to ruin the entire episode. And every time you feel like. Yeah, completely. Yeah. And then he had his way with Ryan Seacrest over the wheel.

[Jen Cobra]

Well, that. That Ryan Seacrest loves to bend over a wheel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's why he says Seacrest out All right, so, Jen, you know what we do on this show? We're raising money for ourselves. And. And we are going to go through a newspaper. You heard the intro. You get to pick what year you think it is. You'll take a guess? I will definitely take a guess. Even though there have been more acts of war committed in my direction lately. Even with that. What you. It could be. I. It could be 1700s, could be 2000.

[Jen Cobra]

It was. It was so weird last time. I can't imagine it being weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was super weird last time, but I'll be honest, that's. It could be weirder. It could be. I don't know. It's not. Okay. What was happening in the journalism.

[Jen Cobra]

Let's see what. Let's see what Dave came up with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So pick a year as a guest. As a guest. As a guest with a guest. And then I'll go after that.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you. Did you do crystal meth light?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Crystal meth light.

[Jen Cobra]

Crystal light. So I'm just guessing a year is what you're telling me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

1978.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Great work. I'm gonna go 1835.

[Dave Anthony]

Jen wins. It is 1869.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not. But Jen, you do see why.

[Jen Cobra]

A great. A great year for biscuits. Isn't that the name of the biscuit company? 1869 biscuits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Look it up.

[Jen Cobra]

This is Southern. 1869 was a brand of biscuits down here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I like my favorite part of this. Look it up. You're in front of a computer. It was.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pillsbury, 1869 biscuits. Buttermilk biscuits.

[Jen Cobra]

Yep. They're real good.

[Dave Anthony]

I do love a buttermilk biscuit. That is a good biscuit.

[Jen Cobra]

Here was the great thing. They made some 1869 biscuits. They were already baked, and they were in a little eight pack. You bought them already baked and you just put them in the microwave for like 15, 20 seconds. Boom. They're perfection.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, they were real good, but now they're gone.

[Jen Cobra]

Real good. They don't make them anymore. Yeah, done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

I mean, I haven't seen them in years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Seventies. The seventies was the heyday.

[Jen Cobra]

Yep. I used to get that. Remember that squeeze margarine? I put the squeeze Margarine on the 1869.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even remember that.

[Dave Anthony]

So you're a health. You're a health nut.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't even know we were squeezing. Yeah, parquet.

[Jen Cobra]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

I got some in the fridge now because they still sell it in Louisiana. I'm living down in 1869. Christ, I'm gonna win this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we Go, Jen. You, by the way, in 20 years, you're gonna have some great lawsuits pending. Squeezing margarine. All right, well, you've won. Even though I would say you're further away than I was. But I guess about okay. I feel like only metric would be that if I were okay. It seems okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the paper is the Southern Standard from Arkadelphia, Arkansas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Arkadelphia.

[Jen Cobra]

I've been there there. You have school there. There's a school there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This show is going to be four hours. Every weird thing that said. You're like, they used to make race cars.

[Jen Cobra]

I just. You picked 1869 in the South. Do you hear my accent? I live here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is it called?

[Dave Anthony]

What city?

[Jen Cobra]

Arkadelphia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like Arkansas Philadelphia.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They were like, look, that city's fancy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's make one.

[Jen Cobra]

It's also a city of brotherly love. See what it did? I did that. Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

That's good. I get it. Yep. So it's February. February 13, 1869.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Valentine's Eve.

[Jen Cobra]

The day after my birthday. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is all happening. This is Jen. Bingo.

[Jen Cobra]

Buy a lunch. Yeah, you got to go.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, this. Not bankrupted. If those who owe us do not make satisfactory settlement in a few days, we intend to place all our assets into the hands of the officers of the law for collection. PE Green can be found at the store of Fred Green and in whose absence Fred Green will make settlement. Come and pay as suing will be very expensive to the debtor Green and brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very. It's like an email.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it is like an email.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not like a. It's not like the first story in a paper.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Jen Cobra]

Well, it's. That's how they had to serve people back then, I bet was to just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Print it just like, whatever.

[Jen Cobra]

Say you're looking for them and that they better pay you this. And that's how you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This paper has one edition. Clark. You.

[Jen Cobra]

Had Lewis and Clark gotten there? I don't think Clark was a name yet. They're still on the colors. They got green. Next is gonna be brown and white, black. They haven't gotten to the Clarks yet. Jesus. That was when they started jobs. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why it was so hard to name roads back then. They were like, language is not ready for mass. Every town is a main.

[Jen Cobra]

I'm telling you, down here. Some of these smaller towns down here just number the streets. We got 1, 2, 3.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

One southeast, two southeast, three south. They just numbered.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't.

[Jen Cobra]

The odd ones go this way. The even ones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't hate it. I don't hate it. No. As someone who's lost constantly, you think.

[Dave Anthony]

That would help you be less lost? I think it would make you more lost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I'm just meant to be lost.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, do you even know the difference between six and seven?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know that. Seven, eight, nine, Boom.

[Jen Cobra]

Boom. Talk about the Wayback Machine. That was a good one. That was a fourth grade joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm in a lot of debt, Jen. They're gonna take my fingers.

[Jen Cobra]

The Greens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Greens are.

[Dave Anthony]

An Austrian dramatic author, Mr. Sasha Massage, has written a play, our Slaves, the leading idea of which is men's rights.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Jen Cobra]

Men's rights.

[Gareth Reynolds]

1869. Jordan Peterson, just the like.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God. There were even divorced dudes in 1869.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just wearing his weird riddler suits, just like you see, the male psyche is also under attack. Okay, I know we have literal slaves. Women are not allowed to leave the house. But the real victim of society is the man. The man is not able to do what he wants. The other day, I punched a woman for looking at me strange, and some friends told me I was out of line. What year is this, I ask you? So that's what the play is inspired by.

[Dave Anthony]

His argument is that in our society, the husband is a slave of the wife for whom he must. He must work at his desk, in his office, etc, while she leads a truly Olympian life.

[Jen Cobra]

You know what it is? He married a narcissist. He married a narcissist who's like, you get in there and you work. If you want this, you get in that office and you work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do.

[Jen Cobra]

You don't come out. You don't come out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A bunch of money, but I've got the pussy.

[Jen Cobra]

No, you need to have this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's as my place.

[Jen Cobra]

I'm going to go live the most Olympian life in the living room.

[Dave Anthony]

In.

[Jen Cobra]

Our home, in the parlor. So I'll be here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's at a psychiatrist. So she set up an American Gladiator arena in the living room and told me if I wanted a pussy, I needed. I needed to go to the work.

[Jen Cobra]

To write letters with a quill pen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I needed to quit. So.

[Jen Cobra]

God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. What's also amazing is that the wife was probably like, well, I'll go work. And he was like, not an option woman.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait. His plan of reform is to liberate man by giving women work and culture.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Jen Cobra]

He was the first feminist. Really.

[Dave Anthony]

Progressive.

[Jen Cobra]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's called a woman's right to choose. For the man, they're like, you idiot. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. An incident in a justice's court. A few days since proceedings were commenced in the court of his honor, Judge H. Yeah, see, they.

[Jen Cobra]

They're just going through the letters now.

[Dave Anthony]

Just. H Against a defaulting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I thought that was the first. There's the name. Completely.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the whole name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Judge H. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Judge H. Against a defaulting tenant. The plaintiff in the case was a venerable lady who transacts her own business and dispenses with the services of an agent. The defendant, an unredeemable scamp, fond of liquor and is always under its influence. He likes to party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's scampi. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To me what a scamp is. Yeah, That's a town drug medical scamp.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A rascal with the booze.

[Jen Cobra]

Yeah, I like that. He. That they said she was venerable. So she's a lady and he's the tramp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yes, legally. From Judge H.

[Dave Anthony]

By accident, the parties met in the judge's office the day before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's super weird.

[Dave Anthony]

The trial. The tenant.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Accident.

[Dave Anthony]

The tenant to. Yeah. By accident. The tenant, to use a homely expression, was evidently disguised in liquor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Jen Cobra]

Liquor. You brought her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we'll be right back. I love saying in disguise of liquor.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how I'm gonna say it from now on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

That's amazing. Before the case.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I don't know why, but, yeah, they did.

[Jen Cobra]

You do know why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, you do.

[Jen Cobra]

That's what happened to judges A through G. Yeah. That's how they got to Judge H. The A through G. They all. They all kept drinking with the clock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now it's Judge A. A. We've gone through the Alphabet twice. Twice.

[Dave Anthony]

He staggered around the room as if his legs would certainly give way. And the spectators expected every moment to see him reel and tumble to the floor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

His voice was or appeared to be drunk, and his utterance was thick and slow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's so weird to tiptoe around alcoholism in this era.

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, everyone's drunk.

[Jen Cobra]

That's how the Arkansas accent happened. It was drunk Austrians. And I started talking like bears that I was drunk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll have one more whiskey.

[Jen Cobra]

That's what drunk Austrian sounds like. That's what you don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then I was basically. He should not be driving. He's Austrian.

[Dave Anthony]

But this was not perceived by the lady who. What is that? Wrathful at. His treatment of her was only auctious. What? The auctions to express her mind to one who appeared so little sensible of her claims. I don't know what that means. Let's just move on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

With this subject in view, she strode up to her tenant and thrusting the sharp point of her spectacled nose in close proximity to his face, demanded, and so you won't pay me, sir? In a voice that, like her personal must be person, was angular and sharp. Eh, ma'am? Me, what say ye?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the drunk guy trying to defend himself in a court of law over tenants rights or something.

[Jen Cobra]

This is how it's written.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He's obviously not just not paying his rent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, ma'am, He. What you say?

[Jen Cobra]

He.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the stenographer.

[Jen Cobra]

Like, this is where the accent came from, what he signed. Huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ma'am, ma'am, please, decorum.

[Jen Cobra]

It's one word at a time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, sheesh.

[Jen Cobra]

Shucks.

[Dave Anthony]

I say you are a selfish man. A brute, sir. And again the sharp nose was thrust into his face while the head of the irate dame bobbed spitefully. He stopped paying his rent to her. He's making it sound like she's.

[Jen Cobra]

Plus, she's got that pointy nose. Once you have a square nose, you've done for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I also love. This is pre bailiff. Because everyone's like, well, it looks like you're gonna beat the. Out of each other.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, let him go. Let him go.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

This is.

[Jen Cobra]

This is pre names. We just have Judge H. We've only go. We don't even have full name people running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I like that. I like the idea that the two could sort of mix it up from their own little tables a little bit. She can get his face, you know, it'd be a little more nfle. I'm into it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Jen Cobra]

I like that she has the spectacles that you hold, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

That's what a lady she is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no, I definitely think that that.

[Jen Cobra]

Was the first picture I picture. Madam. The puppet. Madam. Do you remember Madam?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Jen Cobra]

Yes. Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

Dad, you don't know Madam? Gareth. Madam was the one. Did you ever watch Solid Gold when the guy died. When the guy died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. What is this?

[Dave Anthony]

When the puppet is this. Hold on, Gareth. When he.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd rather not.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, now type in. What's her name? The puppet?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Madam.

[Dave Anthony]

Type in Madam. And. And car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And car.

[Dave Anthony]

Because I believe this is the puppet that when the puppeteer died, he left money so the puppet would be driven around in a car for years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Looking at the puppeteer, I'm not trying to be rude, but he definitely banged It Madame puppet and the car left to her.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, maybe it's a different maybe it's a different maybe. Think of a different puppet.

[Jen Cobra]

I'm confusing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, how about this? I'll go with you on this one. Following flowers death. The Star tabloid reported madam was buried with him.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Flowers bequeath the puppets and his estate to a friend. Oh. Manager and ultimately his caregiver. But he wasn't buried with it. That was fake.

[Jen Cobra]

Oh, God. That was weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was weird for sure. I never seen this puppet before.

[Dave Anthony]

There was a guy who puppet was hysterical.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not okay.

[Dave Anthony]

That was a funny. That puppet had some quips, man.

[Jen Cobra]

That puppet had. Had jokes. Yo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That puppet is still around.

[Dave Anthony]

I thought you said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that was a rumor in the start. I'm just looking at a drawing of the puppet with Elon Musk. I should stop looking at the puppet.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, yeah, it's not. Honestly, it's a. It's a scary. It's a scary puppet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you saying I should have a puppet? Am I picking up on that? Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's. It's time. It's time to take your phase is level.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh? Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

I have. I have pictured you with your hand up somebody's ass for a long time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're doing a podcast with him.

[Jen Cobra]

The puppet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's so mad. He dropped out of focus.

[Dave Anthony]

I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's up with that?

[Dave Anthony]

That's worse.

[Jen Cobra]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Madam, the puppet is awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so these tourists. These two are still talking in the judge's chambers. Don't you come so close, ma'am. Don't you come so close with your nose. Your nose is long, ma'am. And sharp. Awful sharp.

[Jen Cobra]

That's a way of. That's. That's whistle dog. Whistleblowing right there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that is. Yep. Winky winky.

[Jen Cobra]

And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, you all know who I'm talking about. They're right here in our city of Arkadelphia. Or as I call it, Philly Saw.

[Dave Anthony]

Philly saw would have been so much better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's right there.

[Dave Anthony]

Philly.

[Jen Cobra]

Philly saw is what I am now gonna call it.

[Dave Anthony]

My nose, you brute. Is not as long as your conscience. No, just. Just. But I don't want to spy Spider Man. You see, I'm drunk, and I don't want to spite your nose. Spoil my nose.

[Jen Cobra]

Sir, that's Arkansas right there. They tell you that they're drunk. Like you didn't know. I love been drinking. Yeah, we can tell. Paw, Paw, get back in your trailer. We know. Like. But. But they don't I don't want to give anything away, but I've had a couple of beers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm about to tip my hand in the direction that might shock some of you in this. I've developed a bad drinking habit over the past two to six years.

[Jen Cobra]

I might have a problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, what if I told you I was on a blackout? What did you think about that? Like a constable revealing a murderous problem. I am fucking hammered out of my titties.

[Jen Cobra]

I'm shitface.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been shitfaced the whole time. Your wieners caught your zipper. That's right. Some of y'all are playing checkers. I've been playing Risk mixed with Battleship the whole time. What? I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okie dokie. He's talking to a pinata.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. So she says, spoil my nose. Sir, would you strike me, sir, answer me, sir, am I to apprehend personal violence? And again, the offending pro. I don't know what that word is. Was thrust into the fellow's face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where's the goddamn judge? I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

No one's here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The judge is like, this is pretty good.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, at one point, it's inspecting, so there's people watching, is enjoying a drink.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

Little moonshine. And he's just kicked back, maybe eating a biscuit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, could be this is the year they were invented.

[Dave Anthony]

No violence, ma'am. But you see, ma'am, I'm drunk. I acknowledge the corn. And you're no beauty I ain't to be deceived, ma'am. You ain't no beauty I Surprising the woman I can bear makes me sick Sort of roused my stomach, ma'am. And when my stomach's round, ma'am, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Flings up, wow, that's good. End. Good closing argument. The jury's like, wow, that's pretty good.

[Jen Cobra]

What could rent have been like, five, eight dollars? Yeah, like, this is all. This is all for, like, a little bag of change.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

This seems like a lot of abuse to take. Let this drunk just live where he lives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I acknowledge the corn. I'm wondering if that is like a way of saying drunk, maybe.

[Dave Anthony]

I acknowledge the I'm drunk as corn is alcohol.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, acknowledge the corn is an expression to admit the truth of an issue or confess a charge. Okay, well, I acknowledge the corn.

[Dave Anthony]

We should start saying that should come back. That's a great. That's like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Most of what this guy said is pretty good. Could be brought.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, he's not all right. I acknowledge the corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I found a bra in your suitcase. I acknowledge the corn. I'll acknowledge this corn for you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, it is. Needless to say, the nose was hastily withdrawn and the gentleman with the riled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stomach went his way like Pinocchio.

[Jen Cobra]

He's got bubble guts from being drunk and she's got a big nose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a bad combo. And I like the way that he's just sort of like, I understand you have a condition, a big fat nose. She's like, it's just a thing. I understand you're different than the rest of us. You have a witch's face. The right there on the side. You got a couple corns.

[Jen Cobra]

That's a cob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or is that your nose, sir? The judge is like, what's my role? Remind me what I do. That's a solid opener.

[Jen Cobra]

Yeah, That's a great opening art. That's the front page.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the front page.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. We're still on the front page. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Hey, podcast listeners. Roy Wood Jr. Here, and I want to tell you about my new stand up comedy special. It's hilarious and it's streaming now on Hulu. I did this special because the world has lost connection. We don't interact like we used to. You won't talk with your mom on the phone for 10 minutes, but you'll listen to a stranger talk on a podcast for an hour. You can listen to the podcast and call your mom back too. We all just need a little perspective. So don't miss my new stand up Special, Roy Wood Jr. Lonely Flowers. Now streaming on Hulu Louisiana.

[Dave Anthony]

A gentleman from Natchitoches.

[Jen Cobra]

Let me correct you right there, sir. You are not close. That word is Nakadish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

I know.

[Dave Anthony]

Jen, stop me.

[Jen Cobra]

I didn't do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, Dave, none of those letters are there.

[Dave Anthony]

Jen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave. Let me preface it. Jen. On this show, there. Dave's been hurt by people at our shows shouting at him about pronunciations. So you're not coming in on the ground floor of this operation. And in addition to that, to acknowledge the corn. That word does not sound possible. I promise you.

[Jen Cobra]

I do a whole bunch of jokes about it.

[Dave Anthony]

Let me do. Let me. Let me spell it. Let me spell it.

[Jen Cobra]

N A, T, C, H, I, T, O, C, H, E, S. And now say it. Nakadish.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. No. Wrong. You know what that is? That's the Worcestershire sauce of Louisiana.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, it is.

[Jen Cobra]

That's my joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is what it is.

[Jen Cobra]

I was in Massachusetts. I was looking for Worcester, and they were like, you know, we don't Cross watches. It's called Wooster. Like, rooster will win a W. Some people say Worcester. Like you're a wuss Worcester or Worcester. But nobody ever says watches. And I'm like. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna take you down to Louisiana and bring you to Natchitoches and see what the you call it. I'm gonna drive you to Chocolatoulas street in New Orleans and see what the you call it. We spell go with an X. Like, don't play with me. I'm Louisiana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No flies on me. Jenkober.com.

[Jen Cobra]

That'S right.

[Dave Anthony]

All flies on me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All flies on me is gonna be my special where I'm gonna do the boss. The Massachusetts version of your stuff.

[Jen Cobra]

It's literally. It's literally. Natchitoches is the town that has the little Christmas festival. It's where they film Steel Magnolias.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Oh, well, now we know.

[Jen Cobra]

There it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's my favorite film about a diabetic. Go ahead, Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

A. A gentleman from Nakadish Painters informed us while in the city that a Frenchman, a gentleman of ex. Excellent practical talents and of superior scientific attainments, intends to plant in the coming year several acres of poppies to manufacture opium.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is such a great era when you're like, my plan is to make heroin over here. How's everyone doing?

[Jen Cobra]

A Frenchman from Louisiana. And now Natchitoches is north Louisiana. We don't really claim that down here. It's like the top of the boot. I'm down here in the. In the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're in the heel.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

So that. That's the top of the boot. You might as well be Arkansas. That's why he's there in Arkansas, because it's very close.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And my plan is to grow. I'm going to make heroin here.

[Jen Cobra]

I'm going to make heroin, opium right here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pretty straightforward.

[Dave Anthony]

He says that an acre of poppies will make £50 of opium worth 15 to 20 dol dollars a pound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great that he's like, wow, I will be a drug dealer. You're more than welcome. Huh?

[Jen Cobra]

He will be providing many jobs, right? Is that what it's saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I call it. We will mix it eventually with our other crop called cotton, and together we'll call the two Opium and oxycontin.

[Dave Anthony]

We hope to hear a favorable, favorable report of this experiment next fall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

None of the people we gave it to came back to report they've all been missing.

[Dave Anthony]

A young man. A young man eloped with A young girl from the vicinity of Springfield, Ohio. Pursued by the irate father of the girl, he overtook them standing by the brink of a swollen stream through which they could not pass to the other side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this written from the perspective of a kidney stone?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know what just happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It just seems very strange.

[Dave Anthony]

It's very weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a swollen stream and yet I can't get past.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, I don't. I don't understand how they can't get by him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But until an iron pen came down and broke me into a hundred little mes.

[Jen Cobra]

That is hysterical. Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus.

[Jen Cobra]

All right.

[Dave Anthony]

In this dilemma, like Lord Yulin's daughter, the heroine preferred to meet the rage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone's a heroine.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Francois, it's me from Nekobeach.

[Dave Anthony]

We know. Francois, go away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is spelled Nietzsche with a radish at the end.

[Dave Anthony]

The heroine is preferred to meet the rage of the stormy skies, but not an angry father. I don't know what that means. But instead of plunging into the roaring flood and drowning his bride while one lovely hand was around her lover, as did the chief of. Oh. Oh. This is like he's comparing it to some folklore thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

The chief of Old's Isle, the young eloper, simply pulled out a big blunderbuss and drawing a bean on the old man swore he would institute a view of daylight through his composition in less than two minutes if he didn't climb out of that, like, a thousand gun. I mean, what's happening here is he keeps using all these phrases in. In quotations, and it's just making it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But his blunderbuss is a musket. So he pulled out his musket. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So he pulled out his musk and threatened the old man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The old man immediately climbed and the happy pair returned to Springfield to be solidified.

[Jen Cobra]

We gave him some poppy seeds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. His last words to the couple was, do whatever the you want. I'm gonna ride this pony.

[Dave Anthony]

You should be able to kill. You should be able to kill some writers. That. That's what I took away from that.

[Jen Cobra]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Be able to murder them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know if that's.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's like a Southern thing. You can kill a writer if they really don't write well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that's what. That's what.

[Jen Cobra]

That's what happened to MSNBC down here. You notice they don't have a Southern cube yet.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that right? I thought that's what. James Carville was all alone.

[Jen Cobra]

He is alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's Just sitting there.

[Jen Cobra]

He had to go marry a Republican just to be able to say what he said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Yeah. And now he's down there. Like, he's lost, like, many steps, but he's just, like, trying to still do turns of phrases from there. People like, I'm not sure that makes sense. He's like, I was hotter than a crawfish outside of a rock factory.

[Dave Anthony]

But, Garrett, that is hot. No, that's hot. Because the crawfish is. That means the crawfish is not in water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's better than a toilet that couldn't flush twice. They're like, james, your Internet's bad. No, it isn't. He's like, I'm sorry.

[Jen Cobra]

That man's collection of LSU gear alone is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

I could imagine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I can't shame him for what he dresses like. That's literally what I wear to the grocery store. But every time I do see him, I'm like, sir, you have milkshake on your news shirt. Like, I know you're mailing it in, but holy.

[Dave Anthony]

I was. My son has a ex. LSU picture is a coach of his. And I was over at this house in the garage where he does his, like, instructions. And I was just sitting there, and I looked over, and he's got a purple fly swatter. I'm just like, jesus, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everything just.

[Jen Cobra]

It's.

[Dave Anthony]

It doesn't have to be everything.

[Jen Cobra]

I am living in Baton Rouge right now, and I am telling you, the grocery store is all decorated in, like, what. What does Albertsons have to do with the football team?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Jen Cobra]

This is. Everybody needs to support is what I keep getting told. And I don't know what to do because I really live in Los Angeles. But the lucky thing is the Lakers and LSU are the same.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is lucky.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

As long as I just buy purple and gold things without any kind of writing on them, I'm okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I lived in. I took a year in Idaho, and I just lived. And I had a Boise State sweater I bought at the airport, and I would wear it to the store, and someone would come up to me and be like, if you can, and blew that. And I'd be like, what? And then I'd remember what I was wearing. I'd be like, I just. You take the shortest route. I'd be like, he's out of his mind. And they'd be like, I don't know if he's out of his mind, but his foot's hurt. I'd be like his foot is bad. Jesus Christ. In Albertsons, I'd be like, yeah, it's.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, sometimes Boise State should be shut down because you shouldn't be allowed to have a blue field.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Dave Anthony]

It's absolutely criminal.

[Jen Cobra]

I agree bluegrass was in Kentucky.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. They stole it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so where were we? Was this the crawfish one that I just said?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Is there crawfish? I just alluded to crawfish in a regional.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, that was you. Okay, never mind. So the cook, I was totally confused. I was like, where's the crawfish recipe?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it really did.

[Dave Anthony]

But I gotta say, and I think I've said this before, like, one of my favorite things to eat in the world is crawfish in Louisiana.

[Jen Cobra]

Oh my God. So good.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just.

[Jen Cobra]

I have it. I haven't really worked to a science. Like I don't. I have a twist and suck method.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is one move. See, it's one where. And I'm gonna say you people. And I mean it in a non offensive. It's when you guys are like, you gotta suck the brain. That's where I'm like, I'm out.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not the brain, you idiot.

[Jen Cobra]

No, it's not the brain. You're really sucking the spice out of the body cavity, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what this guy told me behind Dunkin Donuts one time. That's what the guy said. A Dunkin Donuts trash like the dumpsters. He was like, don't think of it like you're sucking the brain out. Just like it's a milkshake for my nuts. I was like, sir, you promise you'll give me munchkins? He was like, yeah, I work here. Long story short, I had to pay for my munchkins. Anyway, let's get back to the paper.

[Jen Cobra]

America runs undone.

[Dave Anthony]

Anyway, anyway, that's Garris crawfish story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyway, that's my crawfish story. It took place in New Jersey.

[Jen Cobra]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

The cook of a French nobleman whose chateau is in the south of France had a monkey which was allowed to free reign, free range of the kitchen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We do the dollop and this show. And most times there's something that chemically happens to me when I hear that a man owned a monkey. It just. The joy I feel just. It's terrible. But also the. It just steps up everything. When a guy's like, and I got a monkey. You're like, well, this is a good movie.

[Jen Cobra]

You have to watch Chimp Crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I tried to watch Chimp Crazy. It's a little too chimp crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I couldn't get.

[Jen Cobra]

But it did make me want a little tiny monkey. Oh, I don't want to say that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out loud, but I. I was.

[Jen Cobra]

I would never. I would never. I would never. I would never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But there's nothing wrong with wanting to put a capuchin in a diaper and take it to the mall with you.

[Jen Cobra]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're right to feel it. I feel it. Are you kidding me? I want to live in a cage with nothing but monkeys. How about that?

[Jen Cobra]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to start shaving myself till I'm covered in fur and they think I'm their papa. How about that?

[Jen Cobra]

I mean, they're so adorable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It's what a baby should be.

[Jen Cobra]

But you can't.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

And they don't talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. But they communicate. Listen. I listen. There's nothing wrong with sitting here playing with your nipples until milk comes out of them because you think you can be the leader of a capuchin family. Dave, you've said it a hundred times. You've said it so many times. You got Merchant. But we're not supposed to do it. Okay? There's nothing wrong with squatting over and walking like a monkey man and living in a tree and sleeping in a tree to show the capuchins that you're one of them. And if the government comes here just pretending that you're, you know, go and hide in a little cellar you made for yourself and call it the monkey dungeon. There's nothing wrong with that. That's expected. But you can't do it. But feeling it is. Right. So what keeps saying it, what you.

[Jen Cobra]

Have to do to. To sort of balance that feeling is a lot of self tanning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Self tanning.

[Jen Cobra]

Self tanning makes everything better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And what I. And what I do a lot of times is I'll go to the zoo, take my shirt off, and just sit outside the enclosure for a long period of time. And then when it's about an hour left and you got nothing to lose, lose the bottoms. That's fine. Worst case scenario, they throw you out when they're closing anyway. Dave keeps saying it. And he's right.

[Jen Cobra]

It.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's right to say it. But you don't do it. That's what you don't do. All right. Three, two, one. Squarespace. We're back.

[Jen Cobra]

Holy.

[Dave Anthony]

So a free. So the monkey has free range in the kitchen and which.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the best place to allow a monkey to have free ring animated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Let him Disney Legal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. And which was so intelligent that by severe training, its natural propensity to mischief had been subdued, and it was even taught to perform useful services, such as plucking foul, for instance, at. Which was uncommonly expert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Jen, are you gonna flag it?

[Jen Cobra]

There's a lot wrong with this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jen Cobra]

First of all, I do like how they're making it. Like working in a kitchen. Like, the way it. It makes prisoners, like, go straight. Have you ever seen that?

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yes.

[Jen Cobra]

It does the same thing for monkeys. They're mischievous and. And putting them in kitchen work somehow contains them. I do like that. And of course, they're good at plucking foul. All they do is pick gnats off of each other all goddamn day in the jungle. That's their natural propensity, is to pluck shit, which on scare people as. You don't want to be plucked by a monkey.

[Dave Anthony]

Hold on. I do want to be plucked by a monkey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, Dave, come on now. Keep.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll turn my mic back off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, Dave, Dave, this is a slope. What if Riverside. Riverside comes in, is like. This is the first show we've ever shut down. Here's what I'm going to flag. Two things. The first is the term severe training. Don't love it. Don't love the term severe training. Training is one thing. Severe training, I think, is a shorthand for abuse. The second is, imagine if you were at this fucking guy's house, you're eating some duck, and then all of a sudden, he reveals to you who the sou is. And the sous chef is just this little fucking chimp.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're just like, yeah, I'm in. I'm in, I'm in.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm like, the monkey did this. And he's like, yeah. I'm like, let's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

He's the sous chef.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

That's amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The hardest part of the dish is getting the cook to not jerk off every time.

[Dave Anthony]

And the monkey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Outside, the monkey. It was hard to train on the monkey, but the cook himself is horrendous. And the worst part is he calls it making the sauce.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. One fine morning, a pair of partridges were given to it to pluck, and the monkey took them to an open window of the kitchen, which looked directly on the park.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, damn it. I wanted.

[Jen Cobra]

Were the partridges in pear trees.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They better.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the only way they. Come on.

[Jen Cobra]

That's the only time I've heard of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Dave Anthony]

He soon finished one, which he laid on the outer Edge of the window and then went quietly on with the other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so wild.

[Dave Anthony]

A hawk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, a hawk.

[Dave Anthony]

Enters the story. A hawk, which had been watching his proceedings from a neighboring tree, darted down upon the plucked partridge and in a minute was up in the tree again, greedily devouring his prey.

[Jen Cobra]

What did that monkey do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He plucked the hawk.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, let's. The consternation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just for a minute I was like, oh, that's the end of the partridge. I forgot we're dealing with a monkey.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's a monkey with the wrong little hairy person. You eagle. The consternation of the monkey at this untoward adventure may be easily imagined. He knew he should be severely whipped for losing it. See, you're right. So this is a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's what we call severe training.

[Dave Anthony]

You will keep being beaten until you can make the business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no, no severe training. We're not b. Animal.

[Jen Cobra]

But we do want him to make biscuits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're very subject to the idea of him making biscuits.

[Dave Anthony]

Huh? He hopped about in great distress for some minutes. Then suddenly a bright thought struck him. Seizing the remaining.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Getting in the head of the monkey for a journalist is dynamite.

[Dave Anthony]

Amazing. Seizing the remaining partridge, he went to work with great energy and stripped off the feathers. Then he laid it on the ledge just where he had placed the other, and closing one of the shutters, concealed himself behind it. Monkey trap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. He just pulled the monkey trap. This monkey is way too smart to just be plucking.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you don't bring your bird into my monkey land.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Is that.

[Dave Anthony]

I think so. I think it is. I think it is.

[Jen Cobra]

Is that the end?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This monkey's. This hawk's.

[Dave Anthony]

The hawk, which by this time had finished his meal very soon swooped down upon the partridge, but hardly had his claws touched the bird. When the monkey sprang upon from behind the shutter, the hawk's head was instantly rung and the monkey, with a triumphant chuckle, proceeded to strip off the feathers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unreal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Jen Cobra]

Of a hawk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now we're eating hawk.

[Dave Anthony]

Now we're eating hawk. Yeah, we are.

[Jen Cobra]

Wow. It's a tougher meat, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I was just gonna say it's.

[Jen Cobra]

Just like he's jerking off into the sauce anyway, so we're fine.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a marinade Zay monkey has improvised.

[Jen Cobra]

The protein breaks it down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The protein breaks it down. What you're having now is hawk with what we call the monkey sauce.

[Jen Cobra]

It was literally the first hawk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jen, Jen. Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just plucked on the windowsill to be hawked up. Well done.

[Jen Cobra]

Oh God.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, this done. The monkey carried the two picked fouls. Of course it is. There's got to be more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is epic. This is like on the road.

[Dave Anthony]

He carried the two pick fouls to his master with a confident and self satisfied air which seemed to say, here are two birds, sir, just what you gave me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But the cook up with monkey dialogue in his head.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get inside the monkey head?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think so.

[Dave Anthony]

A good writer gets in the monkey head. What the cook said on finding one of the partridges converted into a hawk is more than we are able to tell now. You don't know now that the humans involved, you can't say what happened, how to end it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His weird little fake story. Maybe he didn't even know how to stick the landing. He was like. And what the cook said, I gotta go.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm too tired for coming up with monkey pitches.

[Jen Cobra]

And the first turducken was born.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

It's a partridge inside of a hawk inside of an eagle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We call it pawhawking. That would be a much better way for the song to end. And a partridge and a hawk. The monkey plucked on the ninth day of Christmas.

[Jen Cobra]

Four killer hawks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One beaten monkey with French guy and a hawk and a crawfish and a cream sauce. And the guy at Dunkin Donuts promised munchkins. Wow, that is an awesome tale that I hope is true.

[Dave Anthony]

I hope so too. I love to an act for the better. Regulation of public schools in cities and towns has been passed both houses by this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This feels more fictitious.

[Jen Cobra]

By both houses they mean there are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two houses in this town, both of.

[Jen Cobra]

Them the greens and the whites.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they decided, yeah, okay.

[Jen Cobra]

All right then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then it shall be.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, better is good. As used in this connection, better is a word of comparison. But it would puzzle the oldest granarian in America to find a rule by which comparison can be applied to nothing. There is no regulation now whatever. Public schools in cities and towns. And until there is some regulation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the bar is so low that this is just being considered some improvement. So better, they're saying is a term that doesn't even really make any sense because there's no. There's nothing to compare it to.

[Dave Anthony]

So they're saying better doesn't mean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's kind of some word better don't mean.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That's for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, it's James Carville on msnbc. Okay, well that's good also. Again, that ship has sailed. So now we do know what Better would be we just don't provide it. So. It's an interesting term.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Remedy for smallpox.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bite them off.

[Jen Cobra]

I was gonna say Windex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Twist them and then suck the brains out.

[Dave Anthony]

Get your monkey on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. The m. Have a monkey plucked.

[Jen Cobra]

You know what hulk feathers is good for?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

Small. You better hope you don't get the monkey pox.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, this is delay. Yeah. Really? This is delicious. What is this? This is a human picked smallpox from a monkey.

[Dave Anthony]

A correspondent from Stockton, California writes, I here with a append a recipe which has been used to my knowledge in hundreds of cases. It will prevent or cure the smallpox through. The pittings are filling though. The pittings are filling. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What though? The pittings are filling.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This better not be talking about doing what we were just joking about. They're like gushers of the body.

[Jen Cobra]

Ugh. Stop it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm Jen. Let's cook. Come on.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. No one's cooking right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Dave Anthony]

Everyone's just upset.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Relax.

[Jen Cobra]

The word pox is so old.

[Dave Anthony]

Tasty.

[Jen Cobra]

Delicious.

[Dave Anthony]

Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

When Jenner discovered cowpox in England, the world of science hurled an avalanche of fame upon his head. But when the most scientific school of medicine in the world, that of Perry, published this recipe as I can't read that for smallpox, it passed unheated. It is as unfailing as late and conquers. In every instance, it is harmless. When taken by a well person. It will also cure scarlet fever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is bullshit.

[Dave Anthony]

What now what are you saying is that vaccines work?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is rfkish. Now he's got a way for you to figure out how to get rid of your smallpox.

[Jen Cobra]

As long as you don't got nothing for this here polio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, that guy was just going on and on. Also, it'll kill scarlet fever monkey into shape, add RSV and shingles.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you say monkey? Is there a dead monkey I can drive home?

[Jen Cobra]

It's the same stuff that cures COVID 19.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oddly enough, the monkey's just plucking the. Like the pheasant. And then like rfk just hits it over the head with a hammer and just eats the monkey hole. That's what I'll be having.

[Jen Cobra]

I feel something in my brain. I think it's a worm. Oh, it could be that monkey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That worm in his head was like. And then he's like, root beer will kill you.

[Jen Cobra]

That worm was. That worm in his head was starving to death.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then they said, damn. And they said the worm just died in there. Which is also I'M like, really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they just were like, yeah, it's dead. So he's just like a bottle of tequila. He's just sitting there with like a little worm. Just like, dead. I would not. I'd be like, we need to.

[Jen Cobra]

I think we need to go in after.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think we gotta go ahead and make sure. Let's double check.

[Jen Cobra]

Let's see what's going on in that dude's head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello. Hello.

[Dave Anthony]

Here is the recipe as I have used it and cured my children of Scarlet Phoebe. Here it is. I might use it to cure smallpox.

[Jen Cobra]

You got a recipe for it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, that.

[Jen Cobra]

That seems safe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the buttermilk biscuits.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, this is. This is. Yeah, you're right. This is. This is crazy. This is RFK Jr. Sulfate of zinc. One grain. Talk. Fox glove. One grain.

[Jen Cobra]

I have newt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have newt. Fox glove. Do you guys have bat wing? Fox glove.

[Jen Cobra]

Is this cream of tartar anywh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry. Does anyone have that? I'm looking for corn of witch.

[Dave Anthony]

It's got to be mixed by a monkey.

[Jen Cobra]

I acknowledge the corn. I acknowledge the corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I acknowledge the corn. This is going to be an uphill battle.

[Dave Anthony]

A teaspoon of sugar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How's everyone liking their vaccine?

[Dave Anthony]

Mixed with two tablespoons of water.

[Jen Cobra]

Spoonful of sugar. Helps the vaccine go down. The vaccine go down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feeding this to a smallpox person. I'm sorry about this.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, when thoroughly mixed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were out of box of glove.

[Dave Anthony]

Take a spoonful every hour. Either disease will disappear in 12 hours or you will vomit. You'll die. You'll. You'll bleed out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or your small pox get big and.

[Jen Cobra]

You'Ll have large box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have big, big pucks. You're gonna have some of the biggest packs you've ever seen.

[Jen Cobra]

Macro box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got big old pox for a child.

[Dave Anthony]

Smaller doses. If counties would compel their physicians to use this, there would be no need of pest houses. If you value advice and experience, use this for that terrible disease. That is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, crazy houses.

[Jen Cobra]

That is some Arkansas right there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not great.

[Jen Cobra]

You know what? Arkansas is the only place in this country I've ever been offered possum to eat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And after.

[Jen Cobra]

After a show. It was delicious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did eat it.

[Jen Cobra]

You put anything in a crock pot with a brown gravy, it's gonna be good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They call it chicken of the attic.

[Jen Cobra]

Oh, I don't know what an attic is, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'S what happens when you take too much opium. You become a drug addict.

[Dave Anthony]

It's an above basement.

[Jen Cobra]

Yeah, well, in Louisiana we don't have basements. You dig three feet, you hit water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's. Imagine if the ducks.

[Jen Cobra]

We don't even bury dead people. We do that above ground too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is going to be hard for us to convey. What an Atticus.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm realizing you're saying to me this is a place we shouldn't live. That's all I keep hearing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, your burials, I'm actually into there. In Arkansas.

[Jen Cobra]

Well, in Arkansas, the burials, I bet they can hit the ground. I bet they are underground there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're just doing mausoleums or what?

[Jen Cobra]

Yeah, well, in Louisiana they got above ground. Yeah, it's like. It's like above ground tombs. Yeah, you get buried above ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What about pools you don't have? You don't have in ground?

[Jen Cobra]

Pools there they do have in ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we have the technology to put pools underground, but the humans, we got to go above. Your honor, judge.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I'm calling on the whole area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean good Lord Mormon to get.

[Jen Cobra]

Her square nose out of my face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we're all saying the same thing. We will start putting the dead in pools.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a crock pot thing.

[Jen Cobra]

It's called Deadpool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll be right back. Squarespace.com.

[Dave Anthony]

An individual in Berlin undertook on a wager to sit for four hours in a barber's window without moving in place of the wax figure customarily displayed there. What is happening?

[Jen Cobra]

Has just been in the poppy fields. He stared at a wall.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, we gotta get rid of the wax figure we got here. Is anybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we just fired the wax figure. I would love to sit in the barber chair for a while. My wife has been very difficult for me to live with as of late.

[Jen Cobra]

She's living her Olympic life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's living her best life in the living room and making my life hell.

[Jen Cobra]

All I do is sit in this office.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want, you want my life? You want. Why don't you go sit at the barber shop's place in the window for four hours and see how you like it. Gabriella.

[Dave Anthony]

At three in the after. But it doesn't say why the wax figure is not there. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They unionized.

[Dave Anthony]

At three in the afternoon, he appeared at his post dressed in a white sheet with a huge wig on his head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Easy.

[Dave Anthony]

Surrounded by a fez cap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so just a normal person in a barber chair.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds like. Yeah, well, it sounds like grand poobah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. If the clan met the.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but it's Germany, so it's not the clan.

[Jen Cobra]

It'S not.

[Dave Anthony]

Not the clan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's the German reaction to that. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said about it.

[Jen Cobra]

Thank you very much.

[Dave Anthony]

Every effort was made by the bystanders to make him show some sign of life. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's like the British Guards, where they're just kind of, like, trying. Yeah, Razia. It's fun. It's Germany.

[Dave Anthony]

It's fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a good time.

[Jen Cobra]

Springtime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The party.

[Dave Anthony]

Street boys were tempted by the promise we had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The street boys. That's not a musical. But I thought maybe. I thought maybe more would happen. But you're all right to not do anything?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we had a Street boys.

[Dave Anthony]

Street boys were tempted by the promise of large rewards to make their most ridiculous grimaces and address him and all sorts of funny spectacles. But all in vain. He remained immovable until the clock struck seven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When he rose dead.

[Dave Anthony]

When he rose, bowed gravely to the astonished crowd and retired into the shop. How is this in a newspaper in Louisiana or Arkansas?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a good point.

[Dave Anthony]

Arc of arc of Philadelphia, D.C. you have better things to cover.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have to. If you're talking about world news.

[Dave Anthony]

This is the worst world news I've ever read.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some German guy just sitting in a barbershop window chair.

[Jen Cobra]

Yeah, but this you have to understand. Nothing's going on in Arkadelphia, Arkansas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nothing's going on anywhere this day. Yes, yes, yes.

[Jen Cobra]

So what could have been going on in 1869?

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're literally, like very.

[Jen Cobra]

No, there was one guy, he just sat in a chair and started a wall on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God damn it.

[Jen Cobra]

Put that in the paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put that in there. Hold on.

[Jen Cobra]

Dumbass. Sat in a chair, stared at the wall. Probably what had to be four hours. You put that in the paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you hear about the street boys? They were walking down the street, going where? The street boys. That was it. That was basically.

[Jen Cobra]

They had shells on their back and they kept eating pizza. It was very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Michelangelo. All right, you got one more, David?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. This is just one of those one sentence things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These are the best.

[Jen Cobra]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

Especially Shun Whiskey, Fast Women and the United States were the dying words of a man who was hanged in Canada the other day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how you do it.

[Jen Cobra]

What were the words again?

[Dave Anthony]

Especially Shun Whiskey, Fast Women and the United States.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how you do it.

[Jen Cobra]

Especially Sean.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Sean. I disagree with the first two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I push back, but I like the bold. I like the idea, like last words, especially a hanging. You have a real opportunity.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. You do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

And as a Canadian, to take that to be like you United States, so early on, I mean, 1869, we hadn't really. I mean, we'd done a lot of bad, but we hadn't really gotten deep in. We'd only been a country for 100 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyone who thought the US was bad back then, we were just like nuts. We're about to hit the nitro button. Yeah, last words can be great. Like a hanging last word. Like if your last words were just. Mine are just be like, my throat hurts.

[Jen Cobra]

But you know what, let me say this. There's not a lot of Canadians out there in the quotable universe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jen Cobra]

Not a lot of Canucks out there that people are just quoting. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So nobody writes down apologizing.

[Dave Anthony]

What's your last word, sir? Eh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sorry. I'm pretty. I'm. We're terribly sorry about that. This was a great misunderstanding.

[Jen Cobra]

I don't know what this is about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oops. I hope I don't hurt your rope. I hope your rope's reusable. Gosh, these gallows is pretty tall. Well done. Nice built structure. Idiot Canadians. You don't know how to die. Right. Go to the U.S. well, Jen, thank you for joining us with your crystal light, with your hawk. To us. People could see my special all flies on me. But your specials, no flies on me. Gencobra.com Absolutely. Thanks for coming back. Now, I'm guessing you thought the last paper crazier than this paper, but still it does show you. I mean, a monkey chef. Not bad.

[Jen Cobra]

No. Listen, if you can have. If you can have, fight for men's rights and get a recipe for smallpox. I feel like it's a banner day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Just to be clear, this was a recipe to stop smallpox. Nobody is making me recipe for smallpox. I shouldn't have eaten that.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, you sent a recipe to stop it. Oh me. I did not hear you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you put glove fox in this? All right, Jen, thank you so much. Appreciate it.

[Jen Cobra]

Thanks. Of course, guys. Thanks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of these days you'll miss me, honey. Some of these days. Oh, you like this podcast, do you? Then you're gonna love me on the road doing stand up. Go to garethreynolds.com if you are in Richmond Heights, Missouri. St. Louis. Let's be honest. January 7th, January 8th. Indianapolis, Batavia. Batavia. Someone said online. Illinois, January 9th through the 11th. Cedar Rapids, Iowa, January 12th. Minneapolis, Minnesota, January 15th through the 18th. Then I'll be in Buffalo, New York on January 30th. Rutherford, New Jersey. January 31st through February 1st Brea, California February 7th Eureka, California February 11th San Francisco. February 12th Sacramento. February 13th Naples March 24th Charlotte, North Carolina. April 13th, April 14th I will be in Raleigh, North Carolina. Virginia Beach April 15th Richmond, Virginia, April 16th Lutherville. Basically Baltimore, I think. April 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th. It cuts off there. And Winnipeg this summer in May. Go to garethreynolds.com for tickets and information. You're the Gear force. We need you. Gear Force. Hashtag Air Force Gear Force.