114 - The Past Times with David Koechner

Summary

Podcast Title: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Episode: 114 - The Past Times with David Koechner
Release Date: March 1, 2025
Host/Author: All Things Comedy

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Introduction

In Episode 114 of The Dollop, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds invite comedian and actor David Koechner as their guest to delve into an intriguing historical event chronicled in an old newspaper from 1878. The episode combines comedic banter with a deep dive into the peculiarities of the past, offering listeners both laughs and insights.

Tour Announcements and Warm Welcome (00:00 – 01:40)

The episode kicks off with Dave and Gareth excitedly announcing their upcoming comedy tour across various cities in Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas. Their enthusiastic promotion sets a lively tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:
Gareth Reynolds (00:09): "It's the best."

Following the tour announcements, Gareth warmly welcomes David Koechner to the show, expressing genuine admiration for his work.

Notable Quote:
David Koechner (01:35): "I admire you both greatly. And I'm speaking that from the bottom of my heart."

Guest Interaction and Introductions (01:40 – 06:00)

Dave and Gareth engage in a humorous exchange with David, highlighting his likable personality and fan interactions. The conversation touches on David's experiences with fans and his ability to handle public attention with grace and humor.

Notable Quote:
Gareth Reynolds (02:55): "People are always like, I don't want to bother you. You already have."

David shares a relatable story about dealing with persistent fans during meals, emphasizing the awkwardness that can arise in such situations.

Introducing the Historical Newspaper (06:00 – 11:00)

The hosts introduce the premise of the episode: examining an old newspaper picked by Dave Anthony. David is tasked with guessing the publication year based on the provided headline and content.

Notable Quote:
Dave Anthony (05:25): "We're gonna go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony."

The headline under discussion is: "A terrible array of fatal sunstroke in St. Louis and elsewhere."

Analyzing the Heat Wave of 1878 (11:00 – 22:00)

David initially guesses the year as 1995, referencing his time on Saturday Night Live. However, upon further discussion, it's revealed that the actual year is 1878. The conversation explores the severe heat wave's impact on St. Louis, including fatalities and the lack of air conditioning during that era.

Notable Quote:
Dave Anthony (11:14): "Which I consider to be a racist name."

David Koechner (10:16): "And in my interview with Lorne Michaels... I said, by the way, do you know that 500 people have died this summer from heat stroke?"

The hosts humorously debate the challenges of living without modern conveniences like air conditioning, both in the past and present.

Comedic Anecdotes: Open Mic Experience (07:00 – 09:00)

Gareth recounts a humorous story about performing at an open mic while both he and David were "very high." David's impromptu attempt to close the set with humor leads to laughter and camaraderie, showcasing their chemistry.

Notable Quote:
David Koechner (07:41): "Were we high already?"

Gareth Reynolds (08:39): "It was so goddamn funny."

Continuation of the Heat Wave Story and Social Behaviors (22:00 – 38:00)

The discussion continues with the newspaper article detailing the extreme heat's effects, including how both humans and animals sought water sources like rivers. David and Gareth embellish the story with imaginative and comedic scenarios, such as bathing next to a gazelle and dealing with unusual wildlife behaviors.

Notable Quote:
Gareth Reynolds (22:33): "Or whatever."

Dave Anthony (22:54): "You have always wanted to be in a pond or a river washing your under balls next to a gazelle."

The conversation veers into environmental commentary, satire on climate change perceptions, and the absurdity of historical events.

The Parasol Kid and Further Histories (41:00 – 55:00)

The hosts introduce a subplot involving "The Parasol Kid," a fictional character linked to another newspaper story about a boy interacting with a parasol during the heat wave. This segment is rich with slapstick humor, playful banter, and creative storytelling.

Notable Quote:
David Koechner (41:14): "He was flying over the ocean with his umbrella."

Gareth Reynolds (43:52): "This is a juicy one."

Humorous Culinary Discussions: Gravy and Eating Habits (46:00 – 54:00)

David introduces a satirical piece on the dangers of excessive meat and gravy consumption during the heat wave, poking fun at dietary advice and cultural habits related to food.

Notable Quote:
Dave Anthony (46:58): "Depending on it. A very large proportion of the physical ills of life come from too much eating."

Gareth Reynolds (50:11): "If they docs, I could dox Trump. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."

The segment intertwines humor with mock-seriousness, creating an engaging and entertaining narrative.

Closing Banter and Tour Promotions (55:00 – End)

As the episode winds down, the hosts and David engage in playful exchanges, blending historical analysis with contemporary humor. They promote each other's work, particularly highlighting David Koechner's tour dates and online presence.

Notable Quote:
Gareth Reynolds (67:39): "Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information."

Dave Anthony (69:03): "You always make me laugh so hard."

The episode concludes with light-hearted farewells, maintaining the comedic spirit throughout.

Notable Quotes Summary

• Gareth Reynolds (00:09): "It's the best."
• David Koechner (01:35): "I admire you both greatly. And I'm speaking that from the bottom of my heart."
• Gareth Reynolds (02:55): "People are always like, I don't want to bother you. You already have."
• Dave Anthony (05:25): "We're gonna go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony."
• Dave Anthony (11:14): "Which I consider to be a racist name."
• David Koechner (10:16): "And in my interview with Lorne Michaels... I said, by the way, do you know that 500 people have died this summer from heat stroke?"
• Dave Anthony (22:54): "You have always wanted to be in a pond or a river washing your under balls next to a gazelle."
• Dave Anthony (46:58): "Depending on it. A very large proportion of the physical ills of life come from too much eating."
• Dave Anthony (50:16): "Gravy floating around. No napkin in my shirt."
• Gareth Reynolds (67:39): "Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information."

Conclusion

Episode 114 of The Dollop masterfully blends historical exploration with comedic improvisation. Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds, along with guest David Koechner, transform an old newspaper article about a 19th-century heat wave into a tapestry of humor, satire, and insightful commentary. Listeners are treated to a unique blend of educational content and laugh-out-loud moments, making it an engaging experience for both history buffs and comedy enthusiasts alike.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

We're going on tour. And this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been a while.

[Dave Anthony]

March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

That is on March 16th. And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've never left the city we've ever gone to.

[Dave Anthony]

That's on March 17th. And then we go to Oklahoma City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is our fav. We often say that it's our number one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to. That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, our favorite city, without question.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we head to Dallas, Texas, on March 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our favorite city.

[Dave Anthony]

There's never been a better city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you don't like it, you're a Dallas hole.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you. And then we go to Houston, Texas, on March 21. City, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas, on March 22 at the Cap City Comedy Club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best city in the entire world. Number one city in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get tickets@dollar podcast.com tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and. And I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week. And normally I say the great, and I don't mean it this week. I do mean the great. The great David Koechner. Thank you for joining us, David.

[David Koechner]

I'm humbled. An honor in the presence of both of you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pleasure.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[David Koechner]

I admire you both greatly. And I'm speaking that from the bottom of my heart. I love what you guys do. I love your brilliance, which I can't even touch the hem of. Of your brilliance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you'll grab just.

[David Koechner]

It's just remarkable. And I really appreciate what you're doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we love you. We. We have independent loves of you and a mutual love. And that might sound like, you know, we're master, but we're not ma. We're not masturbating about it. I don't know if anyone's.

[David Koechner]

No, that sounds. That sounds like. That sounds like Goldilocks to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

[David Koechner]

We're poor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're a Chiefs fan. Your Chiefs are in the Super Bowl. This will probably air after the super bowl, but you're on the You're a road dog. People know you from a tremendous amount of things. So many we can't even really mention. But you're at david-keckner.com for your road dates, and people should come and see you. You are truly not only one of the most hilarious guys, one of the nicest guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Who's one of the good guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of the good guys. People. When people meet David in public to get a picture, they walk away and they're like. They're the bigot. They're the biggest David Keckner fans of. They're always like, gu's. Unbelievable.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Literally every person.

[David Koechner]

You know, my goal is in that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[David Koechner]

Don't leave anyone with a story. How was he?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

Nice guy. End of story. How was he? Kind of a dick. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I. I honestly think people do have stories, but they are all positive. They're. David's the kind of famous guy who'll go, let's get a picture. And people like, I wouldn't even. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't want a picture. You're taking a picture, and we're all gonna be smiling.

[David Koechner]

They're always, always going, I don't want to bother you. You already have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. See, this is behind the smile, right? This is behind the smile.

[David Koechner]

Over time, it is. I have learned to dispatch this with aplomb. You know, I organize it. I say one person handles the camera, will do all the pictures one at a time. Now you. Now you. Now you. Because that way it's done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've got to have a. A quarterback to run the camera, operate, because you can be sitting there for five minutes hearing the same material you've heard from a group of people trying to take a picture before, and you go, I don't. I'm not laughing as hard as everybody else here.

[David Koechner]

Right. Right. Yeah. The only time I'm a bit prickly is if I'm sitting, having a meal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

You know?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

And that's when they come up to you or better, sit down at your table.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. I haven't had that. I've had people. I had a guy. I remember one guy came and stood next to me, and I was just eating, and he just kept standing there, and I was like, hey. And he's like, I'm a big fan. And then he just kept standing there, and I'm like, okay, so this is now really uncomfortable, and I feel weird eating. Everybody feels weird except you. You feel good.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. But, you know, also, when the levy breaks, all bets are off. And now there's a Line. And like, he did it. Oh, good. We're picture time. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, we're lucky. There's never a line. We never have a line. There's like, one person. We don't. We're not. We're not line famous.

[David Koechner]

Well, then they're not paying attention.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. That's what we keep yelling around.

[Dave Anthony]

Do we just go out on the street and scream that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. We've been in a lot of trouble. All right, David. Well, listen, you know, you know the premise of the show. We're gonna go through a newspaper, it's gonna be old. Dave will have picked it out, and we're going to guess the year.

[David Koechner]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you get you as the guest, get to guest. Get you as the guest, get to guess first. I have been drinking. What year this could start from 1700. I think that would be safe. Or it could potentially go, you know, it could be 19. Our. Our latest was 2001. So it's up to you.

[David Koechner]

So I have to guess the exact year. Do I have a range?

[Dave Anthony]

If you don't guess the year, we don't go on with this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have a range. That can be a range. The good news is you're going to win because Dave will say you win no matter what.

[Dave Anthony]

That's not true. You've won a couple.

[David Koechner]

Gareth or Gar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[David Koechner]

Remember what happened last year?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

At this time of the year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

David. I don't know your middle name.

[Dave Anthony]

Sean.

[David Koechner]

David. Sean Elliott will provide me no quarter. Because last year we beat the San Francisco 49ers. You did, for the second time in four years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're saying they cheated, Dave?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they cheated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting.

[David Koechner]

I thought you were addressing me, Gar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Never, sir.

[David Koechner]

Commonly know that your parents call you Gar?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. I've been trying to keep that under.

[Dave Anthony]

Wraps for a long time.

[David Koechner]

Have you taken that out of your routine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was recorded, therefore no longer in the routine. I can't believe you remember that.

[David Koechner]

My favorite things in the world.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Well, can I tell a story very quickly? Very quickly. So David and I were going on the road for a very stupid show, and. And we were in New York hanging out, and I had some pot. I think I'm okay to say that I had a little pot and David and I smoked a little pot and we went to an open mic and we had been talking all day about this show we were taking on the road and how we should end it with music. David was like, always end with music, always end with me. And I'm going, yeah, I totally Agree. I was kind of writing it. It was like a corporate thing, whatever. So. So we go to this open mic, and David says he doesn't really want to go up. So I go up.

[David Koechner]

Were we high already?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We were high.

[David Koechner]

I'm not very good. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I should point out we were very high.

[David Koechner]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we were very high. And we go to the show and I do my set. And then after I do my set, David says, you know, I. I think I will do a set. I mean, you know, we're talking 15 people in the room, and. And so David goes up and he. He's, you know, you're doing well. I mean, it's very warm because this is an open mic, and David Ker. So people are like, jesus Christ. This show was like, $2 and whatever. And then at the very end, not knowing how to close out, David just starts doing this. Like, I wish we could all leave together. I love the audience. So. And all this, and everyone's sort of looking like, what the is going on? And he gets a laugh or whatever, and then he comes down, he sits next to me, and he goes. Always close with music.

[David Koechner]

Oh, dear God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was so goddamn funny.

[David Koechner]

I was making myself right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You were. You were. I feel. I look back on it and I think it was a joke just for me. And it was. It made me. It, like, worked for everyone, but I was dying. I was like. He just riffed a song just to close the music, per our conversation. All right, David, guess the year. What year do you think?

[Dave Anthony]

Just pick a year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Any year you're gonna win, no matter what. That's the good news.

[David Koechner]

No, wait, wait. Am I guessing a year now for a story?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, just guessing. Guess the year. No, we're not giving you guess a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Year of this paper.

[Dave Anthony]

Guess the year.

[David Koechner]

Wait, guess a year of. I thought I was going to hear a story and guess a year. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you want a headline? I'll give you a headline.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Old paper.

[David Koechner]

I'll give him a headline.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot like the dollop. We're going to go through an old newspaper. So this paper will probably be. You Centric, I would guess. And the year. You guess what year this paper will be from.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's the headline. A terrible array of fatal sunstroke in St. Louis and elsewhere.

[David Koechner]

It's 1995.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I'm going to guess.

[Dave Anthony]

Just went with the. He's like, when was it really hot?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll go 1922.

[Dave Anthony]

It's 1878.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it was always hot.

[David Koechner]

Can I tell you the reason? I guess 1995.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

That was the big.

[David Koechner]

Because you said it's EU centric. Now I understand. Because it was St. Louis, but you said you centric. That was the year I was hired onto SNL and there was a heat wave in Chicago.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

They killed 500 people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

And in my interview with Lorne Michaels, because that's the third thing you do. You do two auditions, you do a sit, then you're flown out for the final. And we're talking. And I mentioned that because Lawrence want to talk baseball. I don't know anything about baseball. And I was talking about the paper. This. I said, by the way, do you know that 500 people have died this summer from heat stroke? And Lauren said this. We're done talking about that now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you were like, this is not gonna happen.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. Heat wave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God. Oh, wow. About. It's specifically about that one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I got the book.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. The opposite of Lauren. We're not. We're not weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Yes. It's 1878. It's July 14th. 1878. Is the Kansas City Journal from Kansas City, Missouri.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I had a feeling.

[David Koechner]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Where there's a team called the Chiefs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[David Koechner]

Nothing.

[Dave Anthony]

Which I consider to be a racist name. A terrible array of fatal sunstroke in St. Louis and elsewhere. This afternoon was the hottest of the season. The mercury ranging between 9 and 4 world clock from 90 to over 100 in the shade.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, so a shady 100 is hot. It also really, what we're dealing with now is far worse. A hundred. It's like that. It was like that Christmas this year.

[Dave Anthony]

How so?

[David Koechner]

We're talking about climate change. That's not real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, we're not. No, we're not. Big.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[David Koechner]

I was just in. I was just in Texas. I have this bit in my set about searching for a replacement fuel, a clean burning replacement fuel. And I start by saying, you know, we all know that climate change is real. And you're in Texas, in Austin, and you think, well, they. And then you get this grumbling going on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're like, this is just the premise. Premise grumbles.

[Dave Anthony]

Nearly 30 cases of sunstroke reported at the city dispensary and hospital during the day. And fully as many more have probably occurred in which the authorities have no record hosted saying that, yeah, there's people out there who are like, right in a house somewhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Or whatever.

[David Koechner]

Rotting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Yeah. Just bubbling.

[Dave Anthony]

Nearly every physician one meets can report from one to three cases in his private practice. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean really does like we on this country a lot, obviously, air conditioning wise. This country we are killing unlike any other. Yeah, we did, we did respond in some capacity.

[Dave Anthony]

I went to, we went on vacation to Scotland and we got to Glasgow and there was a heat wave and there was no air conditioning in the. It's a fancy hotel. No air conditioning hotel. You can't even open the windows. It's just like you're just gonna die in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So hot. You'd take your own life if you could.

[David Koechner]

Good swing there, my friend. I couldn't even attempt it. And do we know why? David, you're going to finish the story.

[Dave Anthony]

Why, why there's no air condition? Because it's not. Not supposed to be hot there heretofore. Because it hasn't been for years and years.

[David Koechner]

Right. For now it is. Since they built that hotel.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were never like, yeah, why would you air conditioner.

[David Koechner]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, they really do think that. Yeah, yeah. And they don't even like my mother lives in England. There's not. The most they'll do is one of those wall like super glued wall units that's like at most where if you stand in front of it, you're like, oh, that's nice.

[David Koechner]

For a second I thought you were going to make the sound of the air conditioner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going to Michael Winslow my way through this.

[David Koechner]

You said, you said, you said those wall. Those, those wall. I thought you g. Those. I was gonna say, David. That Gareth. That's a fan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's what they call him. Okay.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. I mean the amount of electricity we consume in this country.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it's crazy.

[David Koechner]

It's just, you know, people, people don't understand that a. Your, your, your charger which is plugged in all the time to the, the wall and when you walk away from it, it's leeching. Every, every single one of our outlets is leeching electricity all the time. Have you guys been, you've been to New Zealand?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes.

[David Koechner]

And each, each wall outlet has turn off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they do in a lot of European countries too, where they turn it off. Yeah, that you have. You just also when you go to hotels, they'll give you a key and your hotel room key, you have to slip into a thing to power you. I mean, the first time you go in there as an American, you're like, they gave me a shit room. And you got to put your key in a thing to power your room. And then when you leave, you have to take your key to come back in your room. So there's no power while being used.

[David Koechner]

The entire unit is shut down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

Common sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And here we would. Common sense shoot people at the front desk for this decision.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. I need a new room. I'm checking. Checking out this hotel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Koechner]

The other night, I was speaking to. Just to give you the. The way America thinks. My. My touring partner, Rob Bear, and I, we were having. He was having a. A whiskey at night, and I no longer drink, so I was having a pint of ice cream.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I thought.

[David Koechner]

And I told her, I. I said, I don't drink, and this is my last vice, and I have to get rid of this because I am pre diabetic. And the woman couldn't wrap her head around it. She's like, what do you mean? I said. I said, my doctor said, I. I can't do this anymore. What do you mean your doctor said that? I said, well, my doctor. My physician, who I've known 20 years, she says, well, that's a doctor. I mean, and then she followed up with this. I mean, this is America.

[Dave Anthony]

That's so perfect.

[David Koechner]

Doctors don't know. You're right. You're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. I'll just listen to this lady giving me ice cream.

[David Koechner]

It's. It's tough when you're trying to have a conversation with adults who are near your age and just finding points of interest or things to discuss, and then after a couple minutes, you're like, ah, I just want to end this because it's boring. You can discern quickly, like, oh, there's. There's. There's no curiosity in your mind.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

That's all I am. And so I don't care to talk to you more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why an assistant can be good for that, I would imagine. You. Does your assistant travel with you?

[David Koechner]

She's my production partner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. No, she doesn't, because that would be helpful if you could just give the signal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[David Koechner]

No, she's. I don't think she would still be working with me if she traveled with me. Which you agree. Pig. You don't know. That'd be kind of fun, though, if half the job was just travel. You shook your head no.

[Dave Anthony]

Very upset with G. She's very upset.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Paige is furious.

[David Koechner]

Not. Not even a. Like a big no. Just this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right. Not dismissive. A dismissive no.

[David Koechner]

Not. Not even worth a full head shake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just no. No. Yeah. All right. David. David Anthony.

[Dave Anthony]

Sixteen deaths have occurred today from this cause alone, and 22 burial permits have been granted in three days. It is not unusual to have the same degree of heat here. But so many cases of sunstroke and so many deaths from that cause in the same length of time have never been known before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, buckle up, Thomas.

[Dave Anthony]

Man who. A humorist. Humorous writer. On the Republican of this city over the signature of IX Polk fell dead in the streets of Elston today from a sunstroke. He had numerous friends in New York.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? That last part's pretty weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, they took it. They took it from anonymous deaths and then they personalized it, right? The guy you guys all know, the funny writer, he's dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had friends in New York.

[Dave Anthony]

The sun hath taken him.

[David Koechner]

Was he a writer or just a humorist?

[Dave Anthony]

He was a humorous writer.

[David Koechner]

Are you. Were you aware of him?

[Dave Anthony]

No, I. Yeah, I'm one of the people that didn't care that he died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[David Koechner]

This is from the same paper, correct?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[David Koechner]

What year was it?

[Dave Anthony]

1878.

[David Koechner]

What year did Twain die?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not your go.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. I don't know why we gotta.

[David Koechner]

I just wonder why we. I just want to know if Twain felt actually.

[Dave Anthony]

He's alive. He's. He. He's. He's like 43Q.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Says he's still alive. Oh, yeah. Back then I thought you meant now.

[David Koechner]

The reason I'm interested was. Was Twain secretly happy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Well, he did. Yeah. He had some issues with other people. He was a big. He liked to get into fights with people. So maybe. I'm sure he didn't. Look, I'm sure he. He is the exact type personality that would just be like, God, you're writing. It's just not funny. It's. He would very much be that guy.

[David Koechner]

Twain's brilliance still resonates and it does still just astounding. I mean, yeah, it's. It's. It, you know, as they say, and I think I'm quoting Gar Rental Reynolds. Wit is brevity of the soul. I think that. That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a lot of people give me credit for that.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. I'm sorry. Sorry. It may have been Oscar Wilde, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyway, that was me.

[David Koechner]

That was you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He stole a ton of my dude.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. Though he predates you. He certainly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. Still.

[David Koechner]

Did you. I. I know we were short on time, but I just feel like a buddy of mine read several tomes on Twain. Twain had a. A group of gentlemen, and I think they were called the Sunshine Club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh.

[David Koechner]

Are you aware of this? And they invited. They would entertain 13 year old girls at these.

[Dave Anthony]

I know it hurts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It never feels right. Never felt right.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a different story. But the hot weather, this is like a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the whole thing's hot weather based.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The hot weather drives both man and beast to water. The cows stand in river and rivers nearly all day and bathers are numerous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so man and beast are bathing together in the same holes?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, the cows. Yeah, the cows and horses are getting in the river and people are getting in the river.

[David Koechner]

Right. So this isn't. This is in India.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, that's right. Right.

[David Koechner]

Okay. Okay. So we're guessing another date.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, same day. This is all one paper.

[Dave Anthony]

All. We're just gonna do one paper the whole time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is taking over. But I've often wanted to be like, you know, next to a gazelle, drinking while I'm kind of washing my under balls. Just sort of like we're all. And we're all. And I'm all. We're all going like, hey, I hope there's not a crocodile under here.

[Dave Anthony]

So I just want to kind of frame this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You have always wanted to be in a pond or a river washing your under balls next to a gazelle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And like the. With the St. Louis wildlife. Like the gazelle.

[David Koechner]

Sir.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, go ahead. The two Davids are really ganging up on the one. Garth.

[David Koechner]

Sir, I'm just. Are you at the zoo?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, I'm at the, like, park. There's like a menagerie maybe at best.

[David Koechner]

Sir.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, go ahead. David Keckner with a follow up.

[David Koechner]

A gazelle is not he. His habitat is not St. Louis.

[Dave Anthony]

True.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, mine, I'm not supposed to be in the. Everything's kooky. There's a heat wave. We're all doing stuff that's a little out of the ordinary. Gazelles and I are, I guess. I mean, what.

[Dave Anthony]

I guess we're wondering why there's a gazelle next to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a bunch of them.

[Dave Anthony]

It's non native habitat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why am I in St. Louis? I'm from Milwaukee. I live in L. A. What am I.

[David Koechner]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, we're all doing crazy. Let me finish for you guys. We're all doing crazy shit.

[David Koechner]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you consider the gazelle to be a ball friendly animal?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what? You know how the watering hole is. It's the Vegas lake. What happens in their state? We're all doing stuff. Who's. Great. What? Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

I've seen water holes, like, they actually. You can watch live YouTube streams of water holes in Africa, and I've never seen anyone go to one and wash.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Their balls because it's not hot there. This St. Louis heat is almost 100 degrees.

[David Koechner]

I'm sorry, I'm not gonna keep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't. I can't keep doing. I can't keep. Just for clarify, anyone listening right now is going, oh, my God. One guy is so right, and then the other two guys are being awful to him.

[David Koechner]

Well, I agree. I agree with you. I agree with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I just.

[David Koechner]

Different clarification.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Koechner]

I think your last statement was, it's not hot there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I believe St. Louis hot there.

[David Koechner]

I believe before that our. Our friend David Sean said, that's in Africa. It's not hot in Africa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not St. Louis. Heat wave hot. No. Oh, no. Yeah.

[David Koechner]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're all okay. I don't know. I don't know why we're.

[David Koechner]

You're right. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. Thank you.

[David Koechner]

What's your middle name?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Patrick. But I don't want you to use that for any sort of fraudulent purposes. But it's Patrick.

[David Koechner]

My. My son.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I trust you.

[David Koechner]

My son's coming back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, good. See? Well, now we're a little bit more.

[Dave Anthony]

90 or so kids, right?

[David Koechner]

I thought we were in the entire time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay, good. All right, good.

[David Koechner]

It's only your. Your incredibly thin skin that has provoked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You into something, by the way. Thin skin, that's the under balls.

[David Koechner]

Is that called a bring back? I'm not in comedy. Is that a bring back?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a. That's a force back, folks.

[David Koechner]

Just so you know, folks, in the idiom in which we work, which is comedy, people try to sometimes attach themselves to some of our language. There's a thing we all call a callback when there is an appropriate reference that might fit in, comedy wise, into whatever piece of comedy we're doing. It's not a bring back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's not a bring back. And let's also point out that the callback is very helpful to the weak joke, which is why I felt very important to utilize.

[David Koechner]

Okay, I have one last thing to say about you and the gazelle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then we got to move on because it's just the whole media circus around this gazelle me thing has just been crazy.

[David Koechner]

Last thing. Okay, if I may.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, you may.

[David Koechner]

Of course, the thought that ran through the gazelle's mind when you parked yourself next to it and it was polite enough to not run was this. Jesus, I hope nobody thinks he's with me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So one time I was praying for a Crocodile to bite its head.

[David Koechner]

That was the least of its concern.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he was also. The other thought was, this guy's gonna dip his balls in the water I'm drinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Is this real?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I go balls first, drink second. I want to taste myself.

[David Koechner]

You're a gentleman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a twin.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Koechner]

I just have to make note, I got two bent over turtles from David. Sean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yes. Yeah, Maybe more than I've had my career with, Dave, to be quite honest with you.

[Dave Anthony]

A small boy with an umbrella was overtaken by a young whirlwind yesterday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

And as he didn't, he got popping. And as he didn't feel like making a balloon ascension himself, he let go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's happening.

[Dave Anthony]

He let go. A balloon ascension, like fly up like a balloon. He let the old parasol go up alone. It sailed around over the trees and houses for a few minutes and then dropped. And the boy recovered it again.

[David Koechner]

This is in the paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's such an almost story. Like, had he held on, then you got a story. But this is just an umbrella went.

[David Koechner]

Who? Okay, what was the name of the man who passed? Whose last name was Man?

[Dave Anthony]

Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was it?

[Dave Anthony]

Gary Mann.

[David Koechner]

No, not Gary Mann. From. Formerly of Comedy Central. The humorist who passed away in that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the guy. Humorous guy. Oh, I can't believe you just said Gary Mann, who I believe is very much alive.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Yeah, he is. Mason. Thomas. Thomas Mason.

[David Koechner]

Thomas Mason, man.

[Dave Anthony]

No, just Thomas Mason.

[David Koechner]

Oh, I heard wrong. Okay. Would you believe this? The last article published by Thomas Mason was that report.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would be very fitting for the parasol boy.

[David Koechner]

First of all, who reports that story?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very strange to be this early in the paper with a story like that. I agree.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the reporters just like walking around like, ain't nothing happening in this hot town.

[David Koechner]

Whoa, boy. Come here. Come here, boy. Do you have a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the hell just happened?

[David Koechner]

How are things with you in this heat wave, son?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, sorta.

[Dave Anthony]

Let me look.

[David Koechner]

Let me lick the tip of my lead pencil and then write it down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a juicy one.

[David Koechner]

Would that become a thing? You lick the titan of your lead?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great question. It's great.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Why did they do it, Busta? It must have had an effect or.

[David Koechner]

Else they wouldn't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It couldn't. No, it couldn't have.

[David Koechner]

But in the time period when they did that, it was lead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, it was lead. And I would imagine, like ink. I could understand giving a lick well over pencil and lead. You're right, David. There's probably a lot like, boy, this tongue cancer is just killing these reporters. What is the connection?

[David Koechner]

Gareth, I know that you are. Have stated that you feel your have been unfairly attacked, but I don't think myself nor the other David would understand you saying, oh, I could see licking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, I. I'm out of the two. I'm saying out of the two. Which one is. Which one leans on liquid more. I. You can the ink. You've never licked a pen. Come on, get out of the ivory tower, you two. Get down into the trenches with the guys.

[David Koechner]

I. I had to stop building it. They wouldn't let me have any more ivory.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So now it's just kind of like a. Like a ivory garage.

[David Koechner]

Well, no, the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The ivory shed.

[David Koechner]

No, it's not. I didn't that far. I mean I. I got the. The foundation was made of ivory and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[David Koechner]

You can't even see it, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that. I guess in retrospect, the worst part to have.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

But anyway, who reports that story?

[Dave Anthony]

I have the answer. I have the answer. By the way, the old material of solid graphite was very dense and did not leave much of a mark on paper. In order to leave a clear mark on the paper, people would wet or lick the end of a pencil to make it flow like a pen.

[David Koechner]

Oh, it was so.

[Dave Anthony]

It was like liquidy. The grab. The graphite was like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that liquid. It was graphite though.

[Dave Anthony]

It would make it. Yes, but then I get. When you. When you made it wet, it would get a little liquidy type.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Dave, now you're just kind of working blue.

[Dave Anthony]

And I don't think a lot of things.

[David Koechner]

When you touch the end liquidy, your mind went blue. Mine didn't. Even though the was pencil.

[Dave Anthony]

I was talking. The last thing I said, I was talking about a penis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. I wasn't even.

[David Koechner]

Which was pencil? Like if it's correctly manipulated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

Correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The tip. Tip got liquid.

[David Koechner]

I heard tip. David. Sean. Is it S E A N S.

[Dave Anthony]

E A N. Yes. The Irish.

[David Koechner]

Yes. How old was the boy?

[Dave Anthony]

I think he was. I think it said he was eight.

[David Koechner]

Wait a minute. So somebody interested. An eight year old?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean he could have been younger. I mean, I'm surprised they didn't put in his address in they. They used to do that all the time. They'd say where he lived.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm surprised the boy let go, if I'm being honest.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As a boy, there's no way would have had the wherewithal to let it go.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the reporter was probably standing there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Going, don't let go. Grab it.

[David Koechner]

But it was. But wait. It was windy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, windy during a heat wave that is also us.

[Dave Anthony]

A whirlwind. You get hot wind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, David.

[Dave Anthony]

You get hot wind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[David Koechner]

Yes. Gar. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's just. Come on. I. I know I'm the guy who washed his balls next to the gazelle and just said lick the tip, but I'm also saying, let's come on now. We don't need to do hot wind stuff. We're better than that.

[David Koechner]

Well, I'm just curious that it. People are dying and suddenly there's a convection oven going on too.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Hot air blowing pies around. Maybe hot air does hot air stuff. We don't know.

[David Koechner]

You are the one who put an end to our wrist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now we're done. Now we're done. From now on, Bl.

[David Koechner]

Hot air blowing boys around. How dare you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From now on. Come on. From now on. David's hat has now moved to the. The style of a youth.

[David Koechner]

From the.

[Dave Anthony]

From the 30s. If you'll.

[David Koechner]

If you'll excuse me for just one moment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't wait.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, what is it going to be? It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I can't.

[David Koechner]

He's.

[Dave Anthony]

He's run to his hat collection and that's what we.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Definitely gone. It's definitely.

[Dave Anthony]

Definitely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David has left the frame of the podcast and.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's come back with no hat.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, we thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now he's got a bowler hat on.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, of course he has a bowler at his house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That looks awesome. This is perfect.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a good look for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a great look.

[David Koechner]

Not everybody can wear a hat. I do declare. It is in your head whether or not you're gonna wear a hat.

[Dave Anthony]

I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Truth.

[Dave Anthony]

I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Truth.

[Dave Anthony]

A married couple in Kansas City, Kansas. Where is that in relation to Kansas City, Missouri?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't ask David where things are. Look at what happened.

[David Koechner]

I know. It is. It is right across the border, there's the border of Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas. Just. It's called State Line Road.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. And then there's Kansas City.

[David Koechner]

There is no. There's no geographical separation from the two cities. They do exist together. Geographic.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[David Koechner]

But Kansas City is in Missouri.

[Dave Anthony]

Gotcha.

[David Koechner]

The population of Kansas city is nearly 600, 000. And the population of Kansas City, Kansas is. Eat my ass. That was terrible. I should have come up with something better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't. I have no notes.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's. There's no reason to not have a Missouri Kansas battle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would also say you sold that pretty well, so. Yeah, no, it wasn't.

[David Koechner]

That was. That was not good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I'm the guy who's doing the blowing boys stuff. I'm telling you, I liked it. You want my approval on this sort of stuff?

[Dave Anthony]

What you were doing blowing boys stuff?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, just read the paper.

[David Koechner]

I'm desperate for it.

[Dave Anthony]

A married couple in Kansas City, Kansas, adjourned to the banks of the Kaw. The Kaw. K A Y. Is that a lake River? K A K A W. Sorry, K.

[David Koechner]

A W. There would be many, many tributaries there. Yeah. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

To the banks of the car. Late last Friday for a bath.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. A bath.

[Dave Anthony]

Were they having late Friday, Friday night, a night bath?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, well, just. Gosh, it's just. I hate to be the one who hearkens, but I remember someone on this show talking about a bit of a bath and being treated like some sort of lunatic heretic by a gang of Davids. And now a couple's doing it and we're all fine with it.

[David Koechner]

Okay, Are we? Yet? I don't know. I don't think he's not. I don't know if we're fine with it.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. The story's just begun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The story has just begun.

[Dave Anthony]

They were molested by some boys and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, all right. Hey. Okay, okay. Let's.

[David Koechner]

All true. Is this true? Is this true? Yes. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Hey, let's refrain. Yes, please. David, read on.

[Dave Anthony]

They were molested by some boys and men which caused the swimming gentleman to rush to his clothes on the shore and draw a six shooter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, okay. Please just be very clear with what happened. A couple was on a date and then a group of men and boys came over and.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, you say date. They're night swimming. I don't think it means fondled. I think in this term it means they were bothered.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I. I was trying to pull back from molested as to what it means today. I meant physically bothered though, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, they were. I don't know if they were physically bothered. They may have just been. Just been annoyed.

[David Koechner]

May I interject?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, yes.

[David Koechner]

I'm a fan of REM and one of my favorite lines from the song Night Swimming by REM Night swimming. They cannot see me naked. Like, why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, Mike, just let's.

[David Koechner]

What's. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Admissible, by the way.

[David Koechner]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

All right. Continue, please, sir.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so then the guy goes to the shores to get his gun.

[Dave Anthony]

And he grabs his gun. This scatters the crowd.

[David Koechner]

Crowd?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So there's a few, apparently a flock, but. But one of them soon returned with a butcher knife. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of the crowd?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, guy from the crowd came back with a butcher knife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were ready to go.

[Dave Anthony]

I just want to point out that this guy doesn't know how to fight a gun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

True, true. You know, that's fair. That's true. That's this.

[Dave Anthony]

And it was. It was expected blood would be shed. But a peace meeting was held and everybody was satisfied they had a lake treaty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

During the look at David.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They wait.

[David Koechner]

Wait, how long Wait. Why didn't the couple leave?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is a lot of good questions.

[David Koechner]

Home or to a nearby butchery. Ask to borrow the knife or steal it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

Don't anybody move. I'll be back in 10 minutes with a butcher knife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your shakes are on hold.

[Dave Anthony]

And they're just like. We're just trying to swim.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Naked.

[David Koechner]

Here's the weird part. Men and boys. Hey, boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

Let's all get down there and have a little turn at that woman.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You ever molested a couple of nudies?

[David Koechner]

Just gonna make the man watch. Years from now, they'll call that cuckolding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're trying to invent cuckolding in the lake tonight.

[David Koechner]

But you gotta make that man sit in a chair and enjoy it. Who reported this story?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a great question.

[Dave Anthony]

That is a good question.

[David Koechner]

It was the eight year old boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it was the Parasol Kid.

[David Koechner]

The Parasol Kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was flying over the ocean with his umbrella. Oh, my.

[David Koechner]

Gareth. And we're close. When we finish writing our new western parody, we should include a character called the Parasol Kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we are close, but I. We're not so far along where we can't work this in which I like, correct? Yes.

[David Koechner]

In the. In the. The end of the third act. The reason there was no violence at the very end, the final scene. Because a great hot wind sprung up and took the parasol from the parasol.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yes. Yes.

[David Koechner]

Was there a cat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. No, that was me. I'll be honest. That was me. I do a lot of my stuff is cat based. But it would look like some tumbleweed. I think it'll work.

[David Koechner]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's fine.

[David Koechner]

This is. Can we tell what page that was on?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that was on page. That was on page two. That was on page two. We're still on page two.

[David Koechner]

What were they doing? They were gonna. They were gonna have their way with the woman. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I Don't. They might not have been. They might have just been because the couple was having a romantic moment. They might have been trying to bag.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not yelling at them. The gang who went into the lake.

[David Koechner]

Okay, but you're about to.

[Dave Anthony]

But you're literally going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me. Let me devil's advocate a little bit. Nudity in 1870, much different than now. It's not like the phone where you can just go anywhere and just Google tits. These. These. I mean, this group of men and boys were seeing some actual tits and water. Again, I could tell that I'm being judged by you two, and that's okay. I'm not speaking to you. I'm talking to my people.

[David Koechner]

You're not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. But. So you see some. You're.

[David Koechner]

You're gonna. Gareth, your people don't have computers. Go on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone's explaining to them what I said on this show. But. But so they. They see tits. It's activates a different thing. You know what I mean? Like, I. Okay, I'm done. I don't know why I keep adding like, okay, because I'm done. I am done.

[Dave Anthony]

It is a thing where. If there. If there was a guy who just happened to stumble across a couple of naked people in a pond, he would then go get everybody he knew at night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pond dog.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would be like, yeah, you can't.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait. You can't see them, Gareth. It is a pond at night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why I'm getting closer with my boys and men friends. Okay, hey, let's remember, I'm the guy who was washing my balls next to a gazelle, and I was treated like I should be taken out of the country.

[David Koechner]

No, you weren't. We found you endlessly fascinating.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

And so there in.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like the first. The first time you see a banana slug. Same thing. You can't believe what you're seeing. You poke at it. You're like, this is weird. That's what. That's how we treated you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David's pep talk. Way better than yours. By.

[David Koechner]

And then you unzip your pants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, now I'm like. I'm liking the direction. We're all.

[David Koechner]

You can't believe you're seeing a banana slug.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is this? Okay.

[David Koechner]

Hoping the banana slug will mistake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no, no, no, no. David. No, no, no.

[Dave Anthony]

This is what happens the first time you see a banana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you just look at it. You don't take your Pete. You're taking your Pete. Is that to see if it.

[Dave Anthony]

You see if they're friends. They look the same. They seem like they might be from the same genus. The same family, the same. So you put them together and see if they will.

[David Koechner]

Yes. Friend up. David. What you've introduced is that is. Is. Is like a Louis CK Joke. That was very good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David gets compared to him a lot. The name one difference. That's what I always say.

[David Koechner]

David has more hair.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

This is from the Trenton Gazette, which is Trenton St. Louis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean. Sorry. Trenton, Missouri. It's in Missouri. Also headline, overheating in summer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So they are. People are freaking out.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. People are freaking out. All trustworthy hygienists and medical authorities are unanimously recommending fruits and vegetables as the best and appropriate food for this season. And that the eating of much meat, rich gravies, etc.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you gotta put gravy. I say that even now. You put a pin in gravy when you're in a heat wave. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Hot weather gravy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You don't want to be. You don't want to be eating hot gravy during this time.

[Dave Anthony]

It hits a hundred. Let's get the gravy out, woman.

[David Koechner]

You're not fixing on making some gravy this morning, are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I was planning on it.

[David Koechner]

I've heard caution against it. Put your meats away.

[Dave Anthony]

Look at the thermometer, woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fruits and vegetables. I do understand that to some extent, because I would feel like those saltier meats would probably be worse for you. But summer gravy in general seems preposterous.

[Dave Anthony]

Let alone really terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Microwave gravy.

[David Koechner]

I do believe there's a time where every meal. Gravy was always served at every meal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is one. During the gout, you dip your.

[Dave Anthony]

You dip your bread in it. And yet there is. Go ahead.

[David Koechner]

My father was once reprimanded, and the entire family was embarrassed. My father is one of nine kids, and I'm one of the Koechners. And they are invited to the class family, which is also Klaus, but they were called class. And my father was young, and they're all there at the table, and my dad had prepared his plate and said, would you please pass the gravy? And the embarrassment was the shame. He retold the story many times. The shame was that he asked for gravy and there wasn't any on the table.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God. Oh, shame.

[David Koechner]

To the entire family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is quite a time. What, for him to be, like, lamenting that for a lot of his life.

[David Koechner]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told that story Many times on his.

[Dave Anthony]

On his deathbed, by the way. I didn't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm bringing that back. I'm bringing that back. I'm gonna. As an homage to your great father, I will be asking at every meal for the gravy to be passed just to show the shortcomings of every event that I'm at.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, there isn't any. Oh, no big deal. It's like when you flip the menu over and there's nothing, and you go like, oh, I. It's an adequate menu without the back.

[David Koechner]

Oh, I. You're not going to wait for the answer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, no. What? Okay, go ahead.

[David Koechner]

You're going. You're going. No big deal. But my dad, in earnest, asked for the gravy, and I don't. He. I never heard the end of the story. I think he was immediately either given a stern look.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He was ashamed. It was ashamed at the table.

[David Koechner]

It was an embarrassment to his family, apparently. Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[David Koechner]

And then.

[Dave Anthony]

And then after that, the. The dinner was probably very awkward.

[David Koechner]

I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There was probably a. There's probably a lot of people who are like, no, it's absolutely delish. I guess some of us would have liked some gravy, but most of us find the fixings to be adequate.

[Dave Anthony]

Or. Or maybe he just scoots back from the table and puts on his hat and says, excuse me, good day, and walks out the door.

[David Koechner]

I don't. I'm guessing he probably would not be excused without permission.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

At that time. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And then at the. At services on Sunday, the. The entire service is about ask, not asking for gravy. When there is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I know when you take an etiquette course, they teach you the forks first, and then the gravy asks. You want to make sure there's gravy in the gravy, Porter, son, have a.

[David Koechner]

Look around before you ask for things that aren't on the table.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I do think it's a great tactic to just, at any event, just be like, will you pass the sweet potatoes? Just. There aren't any. Like, oh, they'd be great. You guys like sweet potatoes? They're awesome. You should have them. At most more meals.

[David Koechner]

Yes. I would just say, oh, and then remain silent for the rest of the meal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gravy floating around. No napkin in my shirt.

[David Koechner]

Do you like gravy, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like gravy, yeah. Who.

[Dave Anthony]

I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Most meals I feel like could be wetter.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, look, one. Yeah, no, that's right. But one of my favorite. Yeah. Wet it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a big complaint.

[Dave Anthony]

That's why I often take my, my food and just dunk it in water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I'll pour. Whatever I'm drinking, I'll pour a little bit. Yeah, I do it like, you know those food eaters, like the competitive food eaters, how they dip their things in. I do that. I'm not about that. Taking the, you know, a bit of bread or maybe, yes, it's potatoes or some corn. Just pouring it in there.

[David Koechner]

I think that should be outlawed, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, fine. All right, David.

[Dave Anthony]

And guess what? In Trump's America, it will be. Sorry, Elon's America, it will be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There'll be no more dunking your breads.

[David Koechner]

They're gonna dox me. Did you see an anonymous doxxed, whatever his name is, or Trump, whatever you want to call him.

[Dave Anthony]

You gotta narrow down if it's, you gotta narrow down more.

[David Koechner]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If they docs, I could dox Trump. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

[David Koechner]

No, they doxed him. They, they gave out his Social Security. Oh, you hadn't seen that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no.

[David Koechner]

Shut up. Really? Anonymous put out as a revenge for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Elon being able to access everyone else's Social Security.

[David Koechner]

I think, I think this is just the beginning. I think they're going to go full out war, as they should.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, that would be great.

[David Koechner]

These are dark days, boys. I don't think it's going to last. It's going to collapse on itself.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

That Elon Musk tried to hire someone who's not a citizen of the United States for his doge.

[Dave Anthony]

Of course he did. Yeah, because he's trying to find an older person who understands the 1947 based code in the government systems.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How'd you like that?

[Dave Anthony]

None of the guys in America are going to do it, so he's going to have to try to find guys that are like, from some other country. Yeah, South Africa.

[David Koechner]

German.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Safe to say it's a clouse. All right, Elon. Pasta gravy.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, one of my, maybe my favorite thing in the world, it's such a simple thing to eat, but mashed potatoes and gravy just, I can't ever get in. Like, it's the best thing to me ever. Ever.

[David Koechner]

Yeah, I, I, my favorite is sausage grape gravy. Oh, with a lot of sausage.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, Gareth likes strawberries and a nice meat gravy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you got it. Stop it, stop. It's delicious. A lot of people like cream with their strawberries. Give me a mushroomy gravy. Let's Dance. You know what I mean? Yes, let's dance the profiles.

[David Koechner]

God, the way you talk makes me want to find a local pond and dip my ball. Yes, David, yes, just a quick one.

[Dave Anthony]

It feels so empty without the gazelle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Next to the gazelle.

[David Koechner]

Boys, I still don't understand. And again, to your point, Gareth, that the, that she may have been fully naked, but you know, in that time women weren't allowed, they were wore, they wore full.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

You know, full length swimming suits. So I'm wondering if she would even have been naked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

True, it, there's no excuse for a group of lures, men and boys, but.

[Dave Anthony]

Even, even a clothed, wet woman is going to be very titillating. Jesus.

[David Koechner]

Agreed. Agreed.

[Dave Anthony]

I say that, I say that today my wife will come home and I'll go get wet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Woman, gravy yourself.

[David Koechner]

Dave and I have similar tastes in boudoir.

[Dave Anthony]

We certainly do. Gareth, would you leave us now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a zoom, basically. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, back to the what we should be eating. And yet there is not one person in 10 who carefully and intelligent, intelligently follows this advice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

In hotels and boarding. No. Yeah. In hotels and boarding houses, people gorge themselves with meats and gravies and pastry and wonder how it is possible after such a strengthening meal that they feel so weak and shaky and nervous and out of sorts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nervous?

[David Koechner]

Nervous?

[Dave Anthony]

What's wrong, Jimmy? I'm a meat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nervous. I don't know. I, I, I, I should probably go, I should probably go upstairs. I, I don't know. I, I ain't right.

[David Koechner]

I get bacon on my breath.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm freaking out, Jimmy. I'm freaking out.

[David Koechner]

What happened?

[Dave Anthony]

I had a bunch of gravy and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know, covered in mutton. I don't know.

[David Koechner]

They know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everybody knows.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm seeing faces just like people. Demons coming at me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the poor maids in the hotels, they're like, good Lord, this man went through gravy withdrawal on these sheets. Look at that. He pollocked the wall with roast beef.

[David Koechner]

But the reporter, the reporter checked several sources.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

To finish this story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

Mind if I inquire about the eating habits of the people stating at your boarding house?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course, we're as regular as any other establishment. People come here, they get weak as can be, nervous, anxious. After going away, we fogo to chow the out of them for four to five hours. Then they go to the room, have hallucinations that they're walking on walls, tripping their balls off. And this is what we call lambo ding. And it happens quite regularly.

[David Koechner]

So then you would agree that is the cause of this excitement and nervousness is their intake of meats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's obviously meat based. I've never seen a person act strange unless they've been eating meats.

[David Koechner]

Thank you very much. You're welcome. Very good. Thank you so much. May I quote you in my article, please?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely you may. Might I recommend if you're having trouble greasing the tip of that lead pencil, put a little gravy on your tongue. There's no better lubricant I found in every facet of life.

[David Koechner]

Thank you for your advice about the tips there. But I believe it's a bit too. Too hot for gravy, wouldn't you say?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I don't know. Some people on the fringe are saying it can be too hot for gravy. Others of us recognize that there is no better hydrator than a sweet bubbling oven gravy.

[David Koechner]

May I quote you on that one, sir?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[David Koechner]

Okay. I. Oh, I'm sorry. I must go. A friend had informed me that I may want to go to the Crater River. Craw River, Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[David Koechner]

It's a good place for bathing at night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, absolutely. You're going to want to call your ball.

[David Koechner]

I'm calling my. I'm bringing my seven sons.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As you should.

[David Koechner]

Careful of the gazelle, man. The gazelle doesn't concern me. I'm concerned about the man standing next to the gazelle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, guys, that guy's had quite a run on this episode. The Ball Dunker.

[David Koechner]

He's the guy that started the crowd gathering by the. By the Craw River.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, look at this. He's dunking over and over. It's called a baltism, fellas.

[David Koechner]

Is it the craw or Cray River? Craw. Hey, guys, get to the Craw Kaw river soon as you can. You'll know why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If anyone needs to freshen their nets, I got a spot right next to me.

[Dave Anthony]

Depending on it. A very large proportion of the physical ills of life come from too much eating. There is but little danger of not eating enough. Okay, that is absolutely not true.

[David Koechner]

What is? Starvation.

[Dave Anthony]

The trouble with 9 tens of ailing and Chronicle complaining city people is in judicious and intemperate eating. Leave off eating so much meat and greasy compounds and rich pastry and try a simpler diet for a time. And our word for it, you will soon experience a great and marvelous change come over the spirit of your dream.

[David Koechner]

Of your dreams. Now, this guy was ahead of his time, I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it is so funny to think that Something like that back then would have been thought of as totally insane. And then now we really do make such a connection to like. Well, yeah, if you eat like, you feel like. Like to the woman who was giving you the pint of ice cream, it's like, yeah, no, there is a definite connection to. But back then, people are like, what's next? Women jogging? Shut up.

[David Koechner]

I'm still puzzled by this group of leering idiots who so wanted to stay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

When faced with a six shooter. Yeah, I want another look.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is how I want to go.

[David Koechner]

David.

[Dave Anthony]

We did an episode of the Dollop in which this. It was, I want to say 72 or something or. Yeah, no, maybe 60s, maybe the 60s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Still not that long.

[Dave Anthony]

But this woman worked on Wall street and she had big boobs. And so dudes started collecting themselves when she came out of the subway in the morning, they would sit and watch. And it grew and grew and grew until they were like. I'm not kidding, 10,000 men every morning. When she came out of the subway, hooting and hollering at her as she walked, swear to God, it's. It's the most crazy story you cannot believe. And it. It went on for a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She was just like a person. And she was.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, she was the person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She was the secretary. Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Is just mind boggling. Okay, this is the last. This is the last one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Insufferably dull.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. It's already good.

[Dave Anthony]

Warm. The warm weather has stagnated all social gaiety. In fact, even church festivals and benefit concerts have died natural deaths killed by the hot weather. There are no parties, no amusements, no. No weddings. And really, if we are to believe what some of the girls say, there is but little love making going on.

[David Koechner]

No, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that.

[David Koechner]

That's quoted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Plus some of the girls are saying too hot for. Too hot for men to.

[David Koechner]

Don't you come near me with that hot pecker boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Banana.

[David Koechner]

That's a bring back.

[Dave Anthony]

It's an old breakback that we know is one of the pleasant things in life that does not require any great effort. But the weather is either too warm or the bows are too shy. For the fairest of the fair in the cool of the evening may be seen dressed becomingly in their light delicate lawns or organies. Sitting on the doorsteps alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even know what organize is.

[Dave Anthony]

But yeah, I'm in. Sitting on the doorsteps alone, sighing like so many Marianas. He cometh not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa.

[David Koechner]

Marianne is a. Is a person who was considered weak of spirit. A Marianne.

[Dave Anthony]

I. I don't think I've ever heard that before.

[David Koechner]

Like, stop being such a Marianne about or something like that, I think. But that was that, Mariana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. And I cannot imagine it being a complaint of the women being that it's too hot for the men to.

[David Koechner]

I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The smell in 1870 off a hot man.

[David Koechner]

Plus, that's near erotica.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, it is.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, that's pretty scandalous for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes, for the time. Without question. That's too.

[David Koechner]

The other thing that gives me pause. What age are we living in which we quote a woman?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, now, again, David, as one of your reps, I would say you're in dangerous territory here. So the bowler hat has it. I think the bowler had changed his whole character.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, I really did.

[David Koechner]

I'm in 1876 now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His mouth changed. His tongue's never been more active.

[David Koechner]

Well, I'm a professional tip nutter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a lew. Shit.

[David Koechner]

God. Wow. Well, here's the other thing. They still wore three piece wool suits to work every day. Yes, and a hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, and a hat.

[Dave Anthony]

They always had to have a hat on. So you couldn't, for social reasons, not have a hat on. But you're hot as.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. And you're like, what must. The cultures growing under the hats must have been unreal.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, you know, just like coming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You didn't.

[Dave Anthony]

You really didn't want to smell ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God. Oh, the. The smell. You just be in the house, be like, something smells like rotting fit. And they'd be like, well, I don't know. Oh, Dan, it's your hat.

[David Koechner]

It is my hat. Because when I got home, I. I cleaned it with gravy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Couldn't be mine. I gave it the gravy clip.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not my balls. I washed them by my gazelle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I'll tell you one thing. It's definitely not my hat and it's definitely not my ball.

[David Koechner]

You know? You know, allegedly, and I don't know this to be true, that gazelle apparently offered. He said to Gar, you know, I notice you're having trouble dipping down, doing the squats to the water. Yeah. You don't have to squat down there. If you like, I could. I can get in there. I can clean that.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you pitching? Eliminating the middleman Gazelle.

[David Koechner]

Two things David and. And Gareth, you probably know this having long done your brilliant series the Dollop. Do you know when hats fell out of popularity quickly?

[Dave Anthony]

50S after. Oh, it was after.

[David Koechner]

It's 1963. 63. There was a Certain person swore he won. This person won an election in 1962.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[David Koechner]

Then he was sworn in in 1963.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, if he won an election, could it be LBJ 62, sir.

[David Koechner]

You're smart, David. 62.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, but yeah, he would have won in 60.

[David Koechner]

62 and sworn in in 63.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's a senator.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Silence noted.

[David Koechner]

Who?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a. It's a congressman or a senator.

[David Koechner]

It's a person of whose position is no longer this. This. This executive branch is no longer this. This title is no longer there. There's someone new who has ruined the word president. But whatever we have now, a JFK supposedly was a big reason that hats fell out of favor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[David Koechner]

Because it's hair was so beautiful.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I thought you're gonna say it was because he got shot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that'll be the end of this one.

[David Koechner]

And because he got shot. No, but apparently that's what I'd read.

[Dave Anthony]

Really?

[David Koechner]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Fascinating.

[David Koechner]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, David Keckner. The great David Keckner. People could go to David. David-Kerner. K O E C H N R dot com. You're going to be in Wyoming, in Nevada, in Michigan, all over Honolulu. Oh, I've been to the Blue Note. That's an awesome place, Albany. But you. You're always adding tour dates. So we thank you for joining us and we encourage you to come back because you are probably our most beloved guest. And. And let's all think a little bit about washing our balls going forward.

[David Koechner]

This is a. Oh, oh, oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, you can. No, you can. We would love. No, you're part of the show forever now. No, no, no, this is not. No, no. I don't know how to. This is the first time, I guess this thought. He's part of the show forever. I don't know. You're part of the show. You booked it. So we'll see you tomorrow.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Do you not know the podcast end. I feel you've done a podcast before, right? They end at something like. There's an ending to it.

[David Koechner]

I'm sorry, I don't know what the podcast at.

[Dave Anthony]

At some point they go do our.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lives for a little while.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Then we go. We go back into the world podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, I thought someone had pitched this to you a little bit.

[David Koechner]

I thought.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you had a better understanding.

[David Koechner]

This bit has nowhere to go. I. I started literally. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, David, thank you so much for joining us for real. You are the best.

[David Koechner]

You know. You know, I both. I think we all have the same regard for each other. And it. It's flattering to know you, and I love you guys. And God bless and thank you so much for having me, truly.

[Dave Anthony]

You always make me laugh. You always make me laugh so hard. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You are the best. You truly are the best. So people should come see you on the road, but also a person. They should find you if you're swimming anywhere.

[Dave Anthony]

If you see David eating, he loves this. Sit down and talk to him.

[David Koechner]

Everyone says this all the time. It's been your experience that you do a movie and you're maybe on location, and so you're hanging out every night, and you go, let's get together in L. A. And nobody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Poison.

[David Koechner]

There's only one experience that I've had that has held true. I did an episode. I did an episode of Twin Peaks, and Eric Edelstein and Larry Clark, my brothers. And we were the Fusco brothers. And we still get together, like, every. Every two months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Edelstein is one of the greats.

[David Koechner]

I love him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Edelstein is one of the greats.

[David Koechner]

I love him. I love Larry. It's. It's so much fun. But I would love to have lunch with you guys. And I know we're all busy and who can make it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's do it.

[David Koechner]

God, you know what? Now I'm thinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gravy.

[David Koechner]

I want to cook for you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, let's go.

[David Koechner]

And. And there will be. There will be gravy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we're in. Can't thank you enough, David. For real. Let's do this.

[David Koechner]

God bless. I will.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Thank you, buddy. Some of these days you'll miss me, honey. Some of these days. Oh. Hey, doll heads. This is Gareth, part of the gear force. Listen, you're part of the gear force. Go to garethreynolds.com if you want to see me on the road. Standup. You could find me in Brea, California. February 7, Eureka, California, for two shows. February 11 at Savage Henry, San Francisco, February 12, Sacramento, February 13. Then I'll be in Naples, Florida, March 24, Charlotte, April 13, Raleigh, North Carolina, April 14. April 15, I'll be in Virginia Beach. April 16, I'll be in Richmond, Virginia. Then I will be in Lutherville, Timonium, which is close to Baltimore, I believe. Goobie's Joke House, April 17 through April 19. Then I will be in Winnipeg May 29 through May 31. Go to Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information.