115 - The Past Times with Randy Blythe

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - Episode 115: The Past Times with Randy Blythe

Introduction

The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds is a comedic podcast where the hosts delve into peculiar and intriguing moments from history. In Episode 115, titled "The Past Times with Randy Blythe," released on March 7, 2025, the duo is joined by Randy Blythe, the frontman of the heavy metal band Lamb of God. The episode intertwines historical anecdotes with humorous banter, offering listeners both entertainment and enlightenment.

---

Tour Announcement

The episode kicks off with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds announcing their upcoming comedy tour slated for March 2025. They enthusiastically list their tour dates and favorite cities, showcasing their camaraderie and comedic chemistry.

• Dave Anthony (00:00-00:57): Announces tour dates in cities like Tempe, Albuquerque, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Dallas, Houston, and Austin.

• Gareth Reynolds (00:09-00:57): Echoes Dave's sentiments, humorously declaring each city as their favorite and adding playful jabs, such as calling non-fans "Dallas holes."

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds (00:40): "If you don't like it, you're a Dallas hole."

---

Introducing Randy Blythe

Gareth Reynolds introduces the guest, Randy Blythe, sharing his excitement about attending a Lamb of God concert. The discussion highlights Randy's dedication to his fans and his personal interactions during the show.

• Gareth Reynolds (01:11-01:29): Introduces Randy Blythe, emphasizing the unexpected crossover.

• Randy Blythe (01:29-02:00): Describes his VIP experience at The Forum, dedicating a song to Gareth, and mentions notable backstage figures like Bill Burr and Mark Manson.

Notable Quotes:

• Randy Blythe (01:41): "The pulse of Lamb of God. Truly one of the greatest shows."

---

Randy Blythe’s Book Tour

The conversation shifts to Randy Blythe's upcoming book tour, scheduled to coincide with the podcast's release. They discuss the launch events, including an in-conversation with metal legend Alex Skolnick at Arena Powerhouse Books in New York.

• Randy Blythe (02:35-03:05): Announces his book's release on February 18th and provides details about the tour locations in New York, Philadelphia, and California.

Notable Quotes:

• Randy Blythe (02:35): "RandyBly.net," where fans can find more information about his book tour.

---

Humorous Banter and Personal Stories

The trio engages in light-hearted exchanges, sharing personal anecdotes and amusing stories. Dave Anthony humorously recounts his attempts to provoke a fight on Twitter, while Randy and Gareth respond with witty retorts.

• Dave Anthony (02:17-03:19): Talks about threatening to fight Danzig on Twitter.

• Randy Blythe (02:32-03:19): Teases Dave about stirring trouble and his inability to confront Danzig directly.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony (02:15): "For years, I would threaten to fight him on Twitter."
• Randy Blythe (02:27): "I don't think he's aware of because he's fucking pussy."

---

Main Historical Segment: The Submarine S17 Incident (April 4, 1927)

The core of the episode revolves around a historical event involving the submarine S17 crashing into the Mare Island Bridge in Vallejo, California, on April 4, 1927. The hosts dissect newspaper clippings from that era, blending factual recounting with comedic embellishments.

• Story Overview:
  • Submarine S17, a newly overhauled vessel, was on a practice run when the drawbridge failed to rise.
  • The submarine attempted to reverse but couldn't turn, leading to a collision that damaged the bridge minimally (~$10,000) but left the submarine's condition unclear.
  • As the bridge failed to accommodate the submarine, chaos ensued with rocks flying in the air, causing injuries to bystanders, including a Japanese waitress named Kunio Tanaka.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony (07:42): "But he was the guy that he was aiming at. So he should have taken the most."
• Gareth Reynolds (09:16): "I don't like him."

Comedic Elements:

• The hosts personify the bridge and submarine, attributing motives and emotions to inanimate objects.
• They insert humorous dialogues imagining the submarine and bridge conversing during the incident.
• Discussions about the ineffectiveness of trying to stop the submarine and the exaggerated chaos that followed.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Gareth Reynolds (11:12): “How is that's, like, against the model?”
• Dave Anthony (12:18): “It could be a booze cruise.”

---

Submarine Puns and Wordplay

Throughout the historical recount, Dave and Gareth engage in pun-laden conversations, making light of maritime terminology and the absurdity of the situation.

• Examples:
  • Playing with words like "pinioned" and "booze cruise."
  • Imagining the submarine having a personality, such as "hunting down the bridge."

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony (17:42): “Randy is closer. It is April 4th, 1927.”
• Gareth Reynolds (23:36): “The bridge was damaged to the extent of $10,000.”

---

Additional Historical Anecdotes and Modern Parallels

Post the main story, the trio branches into related historical tidbits, drawing parallels between past events and contemporary issues.

• Divorce Colonies in Nevada:

  • Discussion about Nevada being a hub for easy divorces in the 1920s.
  • Critique of modern divorce tourism and its societal impacts.

• Technological Advancements:

  • Humorous takes on early 20th-century technology versus today's AI and robotics.
  • Conversations about Roombas and their modern equivalents.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony (30:05): “But like I said, I think he's going to hit some hard times coming ahead head.”
• Gareth Reynolds (39:03): “If you’re walking and cleaning, you’re not getting babies. The nuclear household will fall apart.”

---

Interactive Segments and Listener Engagement

The hosts encourage listener interaction, referencing Randy Blythe's online presence and book tour. They also share humorous hypotheticals about surfing and interactions with technology.

• Surfing Jokes:

  • Imagining surf sessions with heavy metal themes.

• Robot Household Helpers:

  • Debating the effectiveness and potential dangers of robotic assistants.

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds (38:48): “What you know, Roomba? What have you picked up on?”
• Dave Anthony (46:36): “If that happens when I'm not there and I'm not.”

---

Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode nears its end, the hosts and guest reflect on their discussions, express gratitude to Randy Blythe, and tease future collaborations. They conclude with a heartfelt message to listeners, encouraging them to pursue their passions and maintain mental well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds (65:11): “Jesus, Dave's a cop. Some of these days you'll miss me, honey.”
• Dave Anthony (65:13): “Jesus, Dave's a cop.”

---

Conclusion

Episode 115 of The Dollop masterfully blends historical exploration with comedic flair, anchored by the dynamic presence of Randy Blythe. Listeners are treated to a mix of factual storytelling, witty repartee, and engaging personal anecdotes, making the past come alive with laughter and insight. Whether you're a history enthusiast or a fan of stand-up comedy, this episode offers a delightful journey through time with a heavy metal twist.

Final Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds (65:10): "Don't kill yourselves. Yeah. Thank you."

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

We're going on tour. And this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been a while.

[Dave Anthony]

March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

That is on March 16th. And then we go to Albuquerque, New.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever, we've ever gone to.

[Dave Anthony]

That's on March 17th. And then we go to Oklahoma City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is our fav. We often say that it's our number one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to. That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, our favorite city, without question.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we head to Dallas, Texas, on March 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our favorite city.

[Dave Anthony]

There's never been a better city than better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you don't like it, you're a Dallas hole.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you. And then we go to Houston, Texas, on March 21. City, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas, on March 22 at the Cap City Comedy Club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best in the entire world. Number one city in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get tickets@dollar podcast.com tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week. The Great. And people were surprised at this crossover.

[Dave Anthony]

They were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I said, Randy Blythe last. Randy Bly it is. It's me, Randy Bly. The pulse of Lamb of God. Truly one of the greatest shows.

[Dave Anthony]

You cut off the head. Is there a lamb I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of the greatest shows I've ever seen at the Forum. Also one of the greatest VIP experiences I've ever had. But right before, right before a song. Randy goes. This one's dedicated to my friend, Gareth Reynolds. Holy. It was amazing.

[Randy Blythe]

Sold out for him. Vip. The backstage was hopping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We had the backstage.

[Randy Blythe]

Your brother, Bill Burr, Mark Manson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was awesome.

[Randy Blythe]

A bunch of Danzig and all these other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't get to do the Danz and Crow. I missed him. I still believe.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know if I can go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or I still believe him to not be real.

[Randy Blythe]

He's.

[Dave Anthony]

For years, I would threaten to fight him on Twitter, so I don't know if I can be around him. I would just randomly say, I'm ready to fight you whenever you want. Dancing. And he never responded.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't think he's aware of because he's fucking pussy. I don't think he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think that's for the best.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he can't. He's scared.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I get it. Well, you're doing it again.

[Randy Blythe]

There you go. Trying to stir a fee between me and Glenn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you've got your new book coming out.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes, February 18th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's the day of the book tour, too. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

The book launch is in New York. Book launch parties in New York at Arena Powerhouse Books. I'm doing an in conversation with my buddy Alex Skolnick, metal legend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go. To find out the information for the book tour.

[Randy Blythe]

Randy Bly.net and we should say Bly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is spelled like Blythe.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, Randy Blythe. Yeah. And then from there, it goes to Philly and ends out in California, March 12th, 13th and 14th. And it's going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How much do you want to say about what you're doing on the book tour?

[Randy Blythe]

Let's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can say whatever well, you're working on. You don't want to just sit there and, like, read from the book.

[Randy Blythe]

No, I'm not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're trying to come up. You're providing different stories, then that's in the book. Then that's in the book. And I've heard some of the stories, and they are. The fact that they're not in the book must be. It really says a lot about the book. But the fucking story he sent me is so amazing. I mean, honestly, I. I was with Luke. We were in the van listening to it, and we, like, stopped to go to, like, a hyvee to get some food. Luke got deviled eggs, and it was disgusting. But we were. I mean, we were just silent. We were just silent. And I every now and then, would, like, throw out an idea because the story is so great.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm glad you enjoyed that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And there's. You get an extra finger in the story.

[Randy Blythe]

Let's just say, yeah, yeah, there's an extra finger involved.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Extra finger involved.

[Randy Blythe]

It's all good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think of that, tough guy? Still gonna fight Danzig? I didn't think so.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I'll fight Danzig anytime he's ready. Like, I've been literally saying this for 10 years. Danzig, wherever, whenever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you told me a story about Danzig. Like, he found a cat under the tour bus.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, his bass player told me about it. But, yeah, Glenn is really into cats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he, like, found a cat under the bus, and then that cat was his on the.

[Randy Blythe]

Well, yeah, he rescued it. He.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he's very cat That's a classic. That's a. You found me Trope Road cat. This is my road cat here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Glenn's a good dude, though. He. We auctioned off a portrait I took of him for hurricane relief a while ago after the things hit Asheville.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

So it's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you guys are getting aid from that. We here in California.

[Dave Anthony]

We're not getting anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

You guys aren't getting anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're gonna make some changes.

[Randy Blythe]

You do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got notes.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, thanks for joining us.

[Randy Blythe]

Of course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And truly, that show at the forum.

[Randy Blythe]

Was awesome, so I was so happy you could. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we.

[Dave Anthony]

Can we put the camera on Randy here for a sec?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why.

[Dave Anthony]

Why is Bill Burr the only guy with his podcast advertised on in this studio?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, don't.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't know Bill. Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We want to know. You want to know.

[Randy Blythe]

Do you want. You want me to message him?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You might be able to get Bill on our podcast easier than the company that we work. Bill's company that we work.

[Dave Anthony]

I've known bill for 20 years. I should be able to get him on Bill know.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, I've discussed you with Bill.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a great avoider.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. I'll ask my drummer to be like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Follows me on Instagram that if I make it happen.

[Randy Blythe]

You can get me on Marin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I really don't think you'll have an issue getting on Mar.

[Dave Anthony]

I can get you on Marin.

[Randy Blythe]

Really?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's actually here. You want to do it now instead of this?

[Randy Blythe]

Mary's here. I. I would love to meet him and send him my book.

[Dave Anthony]

Dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, dude. He. I guarantee.

[Randy Blythe]

I would love to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I guarantee you he'll let me text him.

[Randy Blythe]

He is the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what's great about Marin's show. The best. Like, you get a lot of. Do you find this. Do you get a lot of mugs and hoodies?

[Randy Blythe]

You know what I did? You know what I did for Christmas for. For Lisa?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh? Your lovely Lisa.

[Randy Blythe]

I. Lovely Lisa. It's her birthday today. Happy birthday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Birthday.

[Randy Blythe]

Shout out. And Lydia, I sent. I ordered one of the mugs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Marin mugs.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're the best.

[Randy Blythe]

They. It was like $110.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy. But they' you get it for free.

[Randy Blythe]

You get it for free. And that's what I'm hoping I'll give.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The mug is the best because it podcasts. You do a lot of podcasts. You get a lot of mugs. Comedy. You got a lot of hoodies, like stand up or whatever shows. They're always giving you hoodies. But the Marin mug rises above all other movies. King mug.

[Randy Blythe]

That was her Christmas present.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. Well, now you get one for free.

[Dave Anthony]

I think the best mug is the. The cat. Hang in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, it's similar to Marin's mug, but a little more artistic.

[Randy Blythe]

Do you have cats?

[Dave Anthony]

Classic. I had. I've. I had cats. I've had three cats in my life. All gone and. But now I have dogs because I have a son. And dogs are better for young boys than cats.

[Randy Blythe]

That sounds really weird.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it totally. No, it's not a study.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just not a study. All of a sudden you can't go.

[Dave Anthony]

Outside and play fetch with the fucking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

You're out of your fucking mind. This is the craziest shit that's ever happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One time I put tuna on a boomerang. That cat. All right, all right, Randy, look, we're going to do the premise of the show now.

[Randy Blythe]

Let's do the premise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you want to guess what year you think this is from now that you're. Again, the good news is, no matter what year you guess, Dave will say that you're closer than I am. Because Dave has, like, some.

[Randy Blythe]

No, there's always a reason about this. Last night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Randy Blythe]

January 20th, 1925.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. That is no joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will say that I think it's the first time I think I've lost before, I guess.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you totally lost. January 20, 1925.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll say. I'm going to price this right.

[Randy Blythe]

A little over a hundred years ago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going to go January 21, 1925. I'm going to do what I can.

[Dave Anthony]

Randy is closer. It is April 4th, 1927.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Damn, dude. You were right there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

So we're still in the Roaring Twenties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Things are.

[Randy Blythe]

Things are about to roar up, I would guess. And if you know any. That you know about history.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Randy Blythe]

From learning from him. You know what happened after the Roaring Twenties, Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We had the me Flowing thirties.

[Dave Anthony]

It was all good.

[Randy Blythe]

Everything was great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we started eating cats.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, it's probably not gonna happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're eating cats.

[Dave Anthony]

You shouldn't say that. I feel like you might want to retire that. Just because he's a monster.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How long until he eats a cat on stage? It's his closer. It's like Gallagher's watermelon.

[Dave Anthony]

I like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Before I get out of here, we found this one. Den Glanzig sent this one to us. This is a Den Glanzig one.

[Dave Anthony]

I love being in the group of people. Who don't like any of them. There's people like, I hate. I hate Trump. Democrat. Nope. Hate them, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the best. That's the best that I. That's my favorite. We were talking about how when you post, like, when Elon did a Nazi salute and you post whatever it is about it, and you get all his little sick of fans go, yeah, dude. He was saying, my heart goes out to you. You know? And you're just like, how the fuck did you end up here? And you like. And then they're like, well, I guess you're sad. Biden's gone Cry laughing emoji. He's not coming back. And you're like, I don't like him.

[Randy Blythe]

No. I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't care.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't like any of them.

[Dave Anthony]

Aaron. Aaron has a picture of him and Danzig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa. I love that he's sending that.

[Randy Blythe]

I have many pictures of me. It's great, too.

[Dave Anthony]

Put it up on the. Go ahead and.

[Randy Blythe]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

G.D. yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Shout out to G.D. yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our man. All right. Never eat.

[Dave Anthony]

This is the Honolulu Star Advertiser.

[Randy Blythe]

Honolulu.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yep. I thought, you know, you're a surfer. April 4, 19, 20.

[Gareth Reynolds]

27. That's the three fingers, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Submarine Rams Bridge Causeway on trial cruise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A submarine. Oh, hit a submarine, hit a cruise.

[Randy Blythe]

Hit a bridge.

[Dave Anthony]

Hit a bridge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How is that's, like, against the model?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, sometimes a bridge will move.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're blaming this on the bridge?

[Dave Anthony]

Got to be the bridge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think this is a submarine cruise.

[Randy Blythe]

The submarine was maybe not even fully submerged.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's. I think they came up. They were like.

[Randy Blythe]

Maybe they were looking with the periscope, like, trying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe they hate the bridge.

[Randy Blythe]

What is that thing?

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe the bridge is one of those ones that it's up and then it just slams down, forgetting what a drawbridge. This happened in Vallejo, California. The submarine S17. Not a good name.

[Randy Blythe]

I was going to say little Ubot right there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Call it whatever, Frank. Give it a name. Maybe it's mad. That's why it hit the bridge 17.

[Randy Blythe]

Is it hunting down the bridge?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nine. Nine.

[Randy Blythe]

Nine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The bridge. The bridge.

[Randy Blythe]

Nine.

[Dave Anthony]

We're not there yet. It's 1927, so this could.

[Randy Blythe]

It's coming, though. It's coming.

[Dave Anthony]

This a Trader submarine. The submarine S17 on a practice run on the surface today, crashed into the causeway supporting the Mark island drawbridge. Mayor. Sorry, Mayor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So was a drawbridge.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're right. So did the bridge hit the submarine? You should know.

[Dave Anthony]

No. Members of the crew were injured. The S17, a new large type. So it's a big boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I love when they're using the military terms, a new large.

[Dave Anthony]

A new large one has recently been overhauled and was being tested to rejoining the fleet. As the underwater craft approached the Mare island bridge, the draw failed to rise and attempts to stop the ship by reversing its engine fail. You can't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't turn on a submarine.

[Randy Blythe]

No. There's no brakes.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I still think. Couldn't they just be like, let's go under. They have another card to play. They're not a boat.

[Dave Anthony]

They could. Maybe they can't dive that fat. Maybe they weren't ready. Maybe this. There's probably guys all over the deck, you know, waving, and that's what I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kick them off, see Bridge.

[Dave Anthony]

See, there he is. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's not a booze cruise.

[Dave Anthony]

It might. How do you know? It could be a booze.

[Randy Blythe]

It was a service cruise.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it's a. It's a celebratory. We just were taking out for the first time cruise. So it's. It's a. It's a boost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. All right. I mean, I would say get your head in the game, but.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The whole bottom of the sub. Everyone's just. And drinking the whole.

[Randy Blythe]

Playing Dungeons and Dragons.

[Dave Anthony]

Playing Dungeons.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love how that is where you're the rock star and you're the one throwing in Dungeons and Dragons to the drug party.

[Randy Blythe]

I agree. Randy, have you ever met any submariners?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, usually people don't pronounce it like that, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, My brain's trying to figure it out.

[Randy Blythe]

They don't.

[Dave Anthony]

Subs. Are you talking about subs?

[Randy Blythe]

Submariners, People who serve.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. You're. You're. For. You live in Virginia all that time, you know, you're all about sailors and sub.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, all the time.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, in California, we don't say submariners. We say ship guys.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, ship guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We say underwater boaters.

[Randy Blythe]

Well, we called them growing up because the world's largest naval base, you know, the navy guys come up, but the submariners. It gets weird down there. I talked. But we called them bubble heads because they were like. They were just under, but they come out from underwater, you know, two months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And it's a little weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Well, you, like.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like when you come off tour, your brain's like, not. Yeah, it's the same way, but you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Still able to like, go to like a tree if you want like, to. To have no choice but to be down there like that. Like, I was. I was real high on a plane once and I.

[Dave Anthony]

That's weird. Is that the only time?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. And I was really going, like, I can't get off it, like, started to. With me a little bit.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm in the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're real high up, but I can't do anything about it.

[Randy Blythe]

You're realizing your utter lack of control, the limitations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And so I would imagine on a submarine. You know, it's probably one of those things you think is that when.

[Randy Blythe]

That when you. Your pants. Were you the one that. Your pants on the plane?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the good news about this podcast is we both our pants on a plane.

[Randy Blythe]

On a plane.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's on the album. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I shit my pants.

[Dave Anthony]

Crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I shit my pants once and then also was too high. But they're separate stories. I did. When I was too high on the plane, I did also take my boxers off, but that was just because my head started playing tricks on me and said, go to the bathroom and get your boxers off. But Dave. Dave was with Drew Carey when he shit.

[Dave Anthony]

I was on a ship. I was on a plane going to.

[Randy Blythe]

I went to Disneyland with Drew Carey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, did you shoot your pants?

[Dave Anthony]

Isn't that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've got to shit if you want.

[Dave Anthony]

That's like the star experience because you're at the front of every line. It's great.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. But yeah, it was a Drew. And we were going to the Netherlands straight from the World Cup. The World cup game ending. We all went straight to the plane. That means there's a bunch of drunk Dutch people on there, and they all have to use the bathroom. And I also have to use the bathroom. So standing in line for the bathroom, I slowly shit my pants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Randy Blythe]

I have only shit my pants once as an adult.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. I see this.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't believe only once.

[Dave Anthony]

I would like to. I wish I could say only once on the peloton.

[Randy Blythe]

Only once. And it was hot. It was in the summer. Me and my ex were out with another couple and they were house shopping. So we were like, oh, let's go look at houses with them. And it was in, like August, and I was drinking a Starbucks iced mocha.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're about to make one.

[Randy Blythe]

And we were going to different houses, and none of the houses had running water because they're for sale. Oh, I love how bad the water. So I'm like, I gotta take a shit. So finally I was like, honey, they'll give you a ride home. I gotta go home. So I'm riding home. Riding in. In my old. It was a cop car, a buddy of mine had told me. And I'm riding home and I'm, like, cramping up at traffic lights, but still doing the stupid thing and taping 6. Taking sips of this coffee. It's like an idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And it was hot. And I made it all the way up to the front steps of the house. I got my key into the door and turned the door and it just exploded. And I was wearing shorts. Camouflage cut off, camouflage shorts.

[Dave Anthony]

Beautiful. Looks like an extra camera down.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. I was holding him at the bottom and I ran into the bathroom. Right. And I took him down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And somehow when I released the plant, the pants, I don't know what happened. Went everywhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I thought you were going to say you like.

[Randy Blythe]

It went everywhere. And then I sat down on the toilet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For what?

[Randy Blythe]

And I cried. I started crying. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God, man. And then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a traumatic one.

[Randy Blythe]

And then I got up, I took my pants off. There was all over the toilet. L. I ran out. I grabbed some paper towels and I ran into the house and wept. Swipe. Like, wiped up a little bit that I had trapped while weeping. Yeah. I was still crying. And I came in, and then my ex came home and she was like, what's going on in there? And I'm like, nothing. Leave me alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's like, did you. Your pants?

[Randy Blythe]

And I'm like, oh, God, they're shorts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

First of all, they're shorts.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't know why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wish they were pants.

[Randy Blythe]

I burst into tears.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We burst into a lot. See, that is, to me, is wild because I was having this conversation.

[Randy Blythe]

I was sober, too. That sucked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That does suck. I was having this conversation with a club manager, and she was like, I've shit my pants once. And as an adult. And I was like, men just shit their pants. We just shit more.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we did once.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you've only done one. Like, I would say two to three times a year. I.

[Randy Blythe]

Women pee their pants more as they get older.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I pee women's pants, which I'm legally not allowed to do anymore.

[Randy Blythe]

How did we get to shitting our pants from the submarine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're down there, you shit.

[Dave Anthony]

You're shitting your pants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shit in your pants.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

As the underwater craft approached the Mare Island Bridge, the drawbridge failed to rise and attempts to stop the ship's engines failed. The S17 veered sharply and crashed the bridge. Because the submarine is still pinioned Beneath the draw. Oh, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Damage to the vessel cannot be estimated, although it is believed the wreckage will be slight. The bridge was damaged to the extent of $10,000. If the bridge was damaged at 10,000, then the submarine was way worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, we can't tell because they're now merged.

[Randy Blythe]

They're pinioned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. That's. The name is very good.

[Randy Blythe]

I haven't. I haven't used that in quite some time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I pinioned my pants on a flight opinion.

[Dave Anthony]

Awful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was stuck with the toilet. I could assess the damage.

[Dave Anthony]

You will.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that is a. That is. The first story in the Honolulu paper is about a California drawbridge submarine.

[Dave Anthony]

It looks like a lot of these are not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I guess $10,000 back then, it's like the Baltimore bridge kind of.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I guess. Why does it keep doing this? I'm having issues here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's going on?

[Dave Anthony]

It just keeps it. When I tell it to back up, it's. It's going haywire.

[Randy Blythe]

It's like that's what they were trying to do on the submarine. They're like, back it up, back it up, back it. Back it up. Full reverse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back it up.

[Randy Blythe]

Didn't work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you tried talking before?

[Dave Anthony]

Here's a. Here's a headline. Fists flailing rocks fill air in a bombardment of flying rocks staged by Magalito Amstad at King street and Deschelane yesterday afternoon. Four persons were injured, among them a Japanese girl who was sent to Queen's Hospital with a fractured right ankle.

[Randy Blythe]

Where is this?

[Dave Anthony]

This is in. In Honolulu.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, in Honolulu.

[Dave Anthony]

According to captain of police, POA in Amstad and Terado Brasilo were engaged in a fistic encounter.

[Randy Blythe]

Fistic and rocket.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they're fighting. They're fist fighting on the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Randy Blythe]

It seem as if they had the aloha spirit.

[Dave Anthony]

No, not the aloha spirit. Shortly after 1:00 yesterday afternoon, when Amstead discovered that he was getting the worst of the battle, he broke away and ran to a nearby rock pile.

[Randy Blythe]

It's a convenient.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's right.

[Dave Anthony]

You use what's there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's right. I think we're all saying that. That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. That's what you do. You're getting your ass kicked. You go, you're like, what do I have?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, what's the rock?

[Randy Blythe]

The nearby rock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A rock pile is perfect. Now this Japanese girl, I don't care for her involvement, to be quite honest with you.

[Dave Anthony]

In short order, the air was filled with Flying rocks. And Amstad apparently was not particular who was on the receiving end.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You see, there's Aaron.

[Randy Blythe]

This guy was fast. The air was filled.

[Dave Anthony]

He's just throwing rock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also. That's what you would rather he read in the paper than the sort of. It's a little too poetic for a rock fight.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, no, they're using like the language is a little too Fist fight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you should just be like. So then this guy runs over to a pile of rocks and he starts throwing it at the guy you're not like.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's hitting everybody unfaithful in his fist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He headed towards the pebble pile.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. Basilo was the first victim of the bombardment. He was treated at the emergency hospital for a deep cut on the forehead and abrasions about the body.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so he keeps up way more than this.

[Dave Anthony]

But he was the guy. He was the guy that he was aiming at. So he should have taken the most.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, but yeah, still he lost.

[Randy Blythe]

When it was in the pugilist stage.

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And then he took it to missiles.

[Dave Anthony]

And then it was different, which is.

[Randy Blythe]

And then changed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's right.

[Randy Blythe]

He's just like beaning Japanese chicks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, listen, I mean, she was walking by.

[Randy Blythe]

She's walking by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She had a comment right in the ankle.

[Randy Blythe]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

El Kilohia was an interested spectator. Was treated for a deep cut on the chin. So. So he was just. Oh, this is kind of cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boosh.

[Dave Anthony]

Right in the chin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I don't understand why we the Japanese. Is it because she's a child that we led with? There's facial injuries.

[Dave Anthony]

It's because she's a child.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's sick of age being what an injury defy. You know what I mean? It's like, no kids get hurt. Oh, I'm the crazy guy. All right, whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

Jellicin. Fragnar.

[Randy Blythe]

What the. These are not Hawaiian sounding names, but Hawaii, Hawaii.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Lord of the Rocks.

[Dave Anthony]

A massive mix of sure, sure. Which is the Portuguese and the Japanese. There's been a whole bunch of people that have Jalikin or Yalikin. Fragnar. Another spectator was struck on the forehead and also was a surgical treatment. This guy's getting a lot of faces.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's doing pretty good.

[Dave Anthony]

Two things that going on here. He's hitting a lot of faces. But also, do people not know how to move their heads?

[Randy Blythe]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Like there's a rock coming at you.

[Randy Blythe]

If you will remember, it's not just a rock coming at you. He said the air Was filled with rock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he's really.

[Randy Blythe]

It was like a meteor shower, maybe.

[Dave Anthony]

He has giant hands and he's picking up scoops and just throw it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think once rocks start coming, it's. It's pretty bad. Like, it doesn't need to be a shitload. If it's like three rocks are in the air, that's bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Kunio Tanaka, employed as a waitress in a nearby restaurant, Stepped out of her place of business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh. So she.

[Dave Anthony]

To watch the afraid just in time to receive a heavy rock on her right ankle and fell to the pavement. Okay, so she's not a girl, she's a waitress. She's a. They made it sound like she was a child.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can't be a girl and a waitress.

[Randy Blythe]

A waitress.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but they were making her sound like a child. This is a child. I don' As a child.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And she got ankle shotted. So that's of all of them. Is the depending on.

[Randy Blythe]

On the rock, I mean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No.

[Randy Blythe]

Well, to the ankle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, not good.

[Dave Anthony]

That hurts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not saying.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it definitely hurt that she fell to the pavement. The girl was given first aid at the emergency hospital and then sent to Queen's Hospital. At this stage of the proceeding, spectators lost interest.

[Randy Blythe]

Well, the Japanese chick is out. All right, we're done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm surfing.

[Randy Blythe]

That's all. Yeah, boring, boring.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The sub hits a br.

[Randy Blythe]

Dude, it's three to four out back at the bay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're going low on rocks. Let's get out of here.

[Randy Blythe]

They lost interest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is strange.

[Dave Anthony]

Olmstead kept up his hurling of rocks until police officer Sam Akela broke through the barrage and placed him under arrest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would definitely not have left.

[Randy Blythe]

Like, everybody left. And he's just angry, throwing rocks at nothing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At this point, I'm not saying I'm glad the cops show up to something, but you shut up. But you still. You hang around for. You know what I mean? You're like. This plot got a little thicker.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Daddy's home.

[Randy Blythe]

Daddy's home.

[Dave Anthony]

Daddy's home. Daddy's home's a better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what they should say, too, by the way, before they break down a door illegally without a warrant. And he's home.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, what was that?

[Randy Blythe]

Archie Bunker?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, that was Archie Bunker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He would come home, Daddy's home.

[Randy Blythe]

No, he wouldn't say, daddy's home.

[Dave Anthony]

What would he say?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna be racist.

[Randy Blythe]

A meathead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna sit in that chair and be a little racist.

[Randy Blythe]

Yo, eat it.

[Dave Anthony]

I think he came in, he Said, ah, cunt.

[Randy Blythe]

You know, the. They. Yeah. The crazy thing is, if you look at how old that actor was, how old was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He wasn't that old.

[Randy Blythe]

Wasn't old at all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because he still had in the heat of the night to do.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. He was in, like, his 40s or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

40S back then was so different.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They were much older looking.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. Like high school students.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was like, 31.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. Like mustaches.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Bald. Like, they get out of high school. They're like, well, that's it. I'm in the factory. Straight to factory. You look 40.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the face that Cole built.

[Dave Anthony]

If they want divorces, let them have them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, there we go.

[Dave Anthony]

I disagree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

And we're going to get rid of divorces here in America soon. Oh, this is Reno, Nevada. Out of Reno, Nevada.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

The people know what they want. Why not give it to them? Governor Fred Balzar said today in asserting that he is thoroughly in sympathy with the new law, which makes Nevada the easiest state in the matter of divorce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's careful because it sounded like Nevada. Like, well, you got to think they're going from Vegas, Right. And then they're like an hour and a half away. Like, this is not working.

[Randy Blythe]

This is not working out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we should probably undo this in Reno.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come to Prim. But they're like, number one for abortions. Like, each city in Vegas is just welcome to Prim. Number one in HIV testing.

[Randy Blythe]

That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

This like, going to Vegas to get divorced. Okay. But going to Reno, man, it's sad. That's a sad marriage. Reno is the saddest town in America. It's. It's somehow worse than Atlantic City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There is no question that Nevada is the worst state to drive through in my. It's Arizona, but I would say it's Nevada.

[Dave Anthony]

I still think it's Texas.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you get some good. It's so big that you get it.

[Dave Anthony]

All, but that go on for more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a time suck. Oh, but Nevada is where you're like.

[Dave Anthony]

Nevada'S not like, we should try to sell it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should try to trade it for Greenland.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The biggest little city in the world or something.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

The first time I went there, I. I was out squatting on the west coast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Randy Blythe]

And a friend of mine from the East Coast I'd met on the streets was like, do you want to get the out of here? And I was like, yes. So we got in a van that a friend of his had. Had no gas cap.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we put not by the way, those are recommended.

[Randy Blythe]

We put a sock in it so it looked like a Molotov.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And we were like, spare. Changed our way back. But one of our first stops was in Reno and we took acid there.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure. That's a terrible place.

[Randy Blythe]

And it was a horrifying experience.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a really bad place.

[Randy Blythe]

It was, it was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That sounds like a sentence.

[Randy Blythe]

It was really versus a choice.

[Dave Anthony]

It's the opposite of being like, you should go out in the forest and take pink acid. This is like, not well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even I've done mushrooms in Vegas. And even that is not a great idea because eventually you're like these poor people.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like someone's just at a slot machine and you're like, ma'am, go find a home.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's. That was the thing about, oh, my God, fear and living in Las Vegas was that I just wouldn't want to be that high in Vegas. No, ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Reno is even worse.

[Dave Anthony]

Reno's terrible. Reno's awful.

[Randy Blythe]

Like a cloud settles over Methopolis.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what's crazy about Reno is if you go there on like. Because I had to work there Christmas week as a stand up once and not sad. All these Japanese people come because it's not a Japanese holiday. So they know. They just take over the casinos.

[Randy Blythe]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so it's just what you do is you throw rocks their way.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What I always do.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I do.

[Randy Blythe]

Did you get lots of yucks from Japanese?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, Dave's huge in Japan.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm big. Yeah, I'm really big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Real big in Japan. They love it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, back to this. The last session of the legislature reduced the time of residence for divorce seekers in Nevada from six months to three months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Dave Anthony]

Divorces should be granted in a month if it is found that the people want them in much short. In much a short time. The governor said it's all a question of public taste. And just now that seems to be swinging toward easy divorces. I. I can't believe this is still going on in 1927. I thought it would have been already.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not surprised.

[Randy Blythe]

So this was the beginning of the breakdown of the nuclear family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank God.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Randy Blythe]

Right there.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Randy Blythe]

In Nevada.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the whole west was like. Well, they divorced colonies. Like is what they're called. Yeah, they're divorced colonies. So you would. Especially earlier you would have to go to, like a place to get a divorce. So these western cities, like, made like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was their.

[Dave Anthony]

That was their thing. Like We're a place where you can get divorces. So then people would have to go live there for six months and spend money and.

[Randy Blythe]

Really?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so you would have to have residency to get. Now, see, that's a. That's a movie. That would be a movie.

[Dave Anthony]

That is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You gotta live together.

[Randy Blythe]

Nevada. Instead of everybody moving there to avoid paying income tax. Like everybody from California.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

That has moved there. Yeah, it was everybody going there to avoid paying their wife anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, it would also be like the arguments in that state. It would be like it's a state of people who just want to get divorced there. So just be like, I told you.

[Randy Blythe]

I guess the couples have to move there. Can you imagine, like a neighbor that would be. You've just had it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

With your wife.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're like, let's go to Reno. Trying to find the apartment together.

[Dave Anthony]

And I think you probably have to live together.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, we have to live.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

A little house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These closets are nice. Shut the up, Reno.

[Dave Anthony]

Who gives a about your closet, Reno?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like this tub. Well, I fucking hate it, Jack. Yeah, shut up, Sheila. So do you guys want to sign the lease? Shut the up. She's doing my head in again. I'll be in the car. Sign whatever. He does this all the time. This is why I can't stick around with a guy like this. You think he's gonna commit to a lease? This guy can't do anything for three months. I can hear you.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know what's great is that I. I just explained divorce colonies to Gareth, even though we did a whole episode on them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, I remember. By the way, we're just gonna do. We're gonna start to do. Like, in certain places, if we add a show, we're gonna start to go. Dave is gonna pick an old script that we did years ago and we're gonna redo it and both be like, what the.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, because we've done so many. So it's not just me.

[Dave Anthony]

It's me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

It's all me. I don't remember anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay on that.

[Dave Anthony]

But US boasts one lonely billionaire.

[Randy Blythe]

Only one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. There are 207 persons in the US with annual income 1 million 7 with annual incomes of 5 million. And there's one billionaire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is sad.

[Randy Blythe]

So sad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's sad. Not. Not sad for the billionaire. But it's like we could have just kept it there. Yeah. We could have beheaded him and then been like, here's.

[Dave Anthony]

So that's what happen. That's what happens to you guys. So let's, let's not do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a money hoarder and that's a big problem for us here.

[Dave Anthony]

It doesn't say who it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also crazy in that year to be a billionaire.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, no. 27 like that's massive. Yeah. No, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well only because we're, we're about to go through, you know but there are inequality. But, but even then it's like there are.

[Dave Anthony]

But there, there are still the guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's probably like a trillion.

[Dave Anthony]

The Carnegie's and like the guys who are just way out front.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but even then, I mean that is a lot of money in 27. Yeah, I mean that's, that's like what Musk is about to be.

[Dave Anthony]

Well I, but I think, but like I said, I think he's going to hit some hard times coming ahead head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't agree.

[Randy Blythe]

You don't agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think good times ahead for Elon and I support him.

[Dave Anthony]

He really stepped in it in Europe. He stepped in it. Europeans don't like. They don't like that.

[Randy Blythe]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Because they went through it. It didn't work out well. They don't like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'd like to learn their lesson.

[Randy Blythe]

What are you talking about? It was great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'd like to learn their lessons here.

[Dave Anthony]

R.F. burn, a resident of the Dowsett track was treated at the emergency hospital last night for cuts over the right eye and under the chin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rocks.

[Randy Blythe]

Rocks.

[Dave Anthony]

Fists.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fist, Right, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Rocks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean just some rocks are flying through the air in Honolulu all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean I have.

[Dave Anthony]

It was one thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a bunch of rocks. He could have quite an arm.

[Dave Anthony]

According to officer Isaac Isaacs. Burn collided with Isaac Isaacs. No, Alvin Isaac. Sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's awesome. Them.

[Dave Anthony]

According to officer Alvin Isaacs Burn collided with a telephone pole on Dowsett Avenue near his home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so he ran into a pole.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm hoping that he wasn't driving. I hope or surfing like surfing they put. You know back then they had poles out. Back then they had poles out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And by the way that would be a better business model what we have now.

[Dave Anthony]

When neighbors came to Burns assistance he made several wild swings at.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's just leave me by the pole.

[Randy Blythe]

Boy.

[Dave Anthony]

Boy, I love this guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm trying to help you. You into a pole. Pole came at me.

[Randy Blythe]

We're gonna finish this. Me and the pole. Street justice boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we go. It's a Jason Stam character.

[Dave Anthony]

He made several odd swings which failed to connect but which Resulted in his falling to the pavement several times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he faced?

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He is causing several injuries.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, all right. That makes a lot more sense. Sense?

[Dave Anthony]

After being treated at the emergency.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't like the way this guy looked at me. You got a problem, Wireman.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a pole outside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't care where he's from. I'm German. You don't see me acting like that.

[Randy Blythe]

But you standing up so straight for boy. I think you're better than me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, just because he's tall and made of wood. You lost. He got me pretty good. Hey, you're all right, Poke. I misjudged you.

[Randy Blythe]

Shake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put it there pole.

[Randy Blythe]

Now you don't want to shake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wait, wait, wait. We got a big tough guy all of a sudden. Again. Jesus Christ.

[Randy Blythe]

He goes at him again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come here you. I'm splintered. I love pole. I love you.

[Dave Anthony]

You're my little popo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

After being treated, he was locked up for the night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why?

[Randy Blythe]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

That makes sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What happened happened.

[Randy Blythe]

He had to go night night.

[Dave Anthony]

Pole fighter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The poll's there on the other end of the phone. Hey Paul. I know we lost it a little bit last night. Say something.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm downtown pole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Paul, I need you. But you're my one call. Who's you? What you want call to be the telephone pole.

[Randy Blythe]

The telephone pole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This shouldn't be a hard one to connect. Which part?

[Dave Anthony]

Gay time on Randam. Say the students.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've had that. I had a real gay time Randam.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it's a ship.

[Randy Blythe]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

It might be the sub Ram Dam Ram Randam Ryom. Maybe R Y N. Okay.

[Randy Blythe]

On the ram them. I think it's gay time on the ram.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gay on the rain dam. Maybe gay on the wraith. That's what I'd call it. That'd be the Evite. We're getting gay on the ray annually.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a you United news story out of Paris. Petting their way around the world. Some of the students on the ss. Yeah, petting Rhymedam first co educational floating university in history.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, floating you boat.

[Randy Blythe]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a fun that should be hitting a bridge.

[Dave Anthony]

No, they made a rich. They made a fucking floating university for rich kids. And they. They. They fingered and across the ocean.

[Randy Blythe]

That's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like I don't like he led with finger.

[Dave Anthony]

Finger. Fingerboat.

[Randy Blythe]

We have the ferry sometimes in Europe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys go on the ferry.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what is it exactly?

[Randy Blythe]

Fairy goes from Sweden to Finland and it's just and what it is is because we have buses and all this. You know, you put the buses on there and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so right.

[Randy Blythe]

All these cabins. But Swedish. Young Swedish people and young Finnish people will be like, oh, let's just take the ferry over to Sweden and bang the whole way and. And then back and they just get completely faced.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

The whole time.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And there's lots of hooking up up. There's just vomit everywhere. You get a cabin that's awesome. You know, but we call it the ferry.

[Dave Anthony]

How long is the ride?

[Randy Blythe]

It's. It's like 24 hours. Oh yeah. So like. Yeah, so there's time for.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, there's.

[Randy Blythe]

But they have like. It depends on what time of the year you're going as well. And whether it's a week or weekend. Because sometimes old people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like. I love old.

[Randy Blythe]

And then like they have like bars and lounges.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Humpa bands and stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Old Swedish people dancing or what.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love to bang. To like polka or like some tuba stuff. Yeah, yeah. That's great. Boy. That would be.

[Dave Anthony]

If you get a tuba out. I'm hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would. I think you're.

[Randy Blythe]

The fair is a lot of fun though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like the sound.

[Randy Blythe]

This sounds like a proto fairy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Well, I like that. This is a school. This is a college.

[Randy Blythe]

An educational.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Educational fairy fairy. Kill who, would you.

[Dave Anthony]

They pointed out that the pastime is not unknown even in old fashioned dry land colleges. So they're saying people are banging on. This isn't just on a boat.

[Randy Blythe]

Sex is not nautical. Like educational nautical activity is not exclusive to boats.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Randy Blythe]

You got students have sex.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Randy Blythe]

You're telling me people have sex on dry land?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, dry land universities like, like we've forgotten. Like we're in water world. Like tell us about the dry land universities, Papa.

[Randy Blythe]

I've never. I've never had sex on dry land.

[Dave Anthony]

I haven't either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I haven't.

[Dave Anthony]

I have no idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. But I'm finished.

[Randy Blythe]

This is fascinating.

[Dave Anthony]

There was a.

[Randy Blythe]

History is awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

There was a certain amount of necking on board, but no more than I saw at the University of Colorado last year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guy like on there, like. Well, there's a little bit of their dry humping, but that's not enough. Enough.

[Dave Anthony]

That said George T. McClure of Boulder, Colorado. A junior junior. The students received mail in Perry, but some of them did, which caused them to face their landing in New York with some apprehension.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So they knew that. Everyone knew it was a.

[Randy Blythe]

Parents have heard that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Everyone's like, they're on the fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

They learned in newspaper clippings and letters of petting parties and highly charged cocktail parties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

From Cologne to Constantinople.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the.

[Randy Blythe]

I love how they're like lyric. I know that loan to Constantinople.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heavy petting is great petting party. Also the confusion of like, did you get off like. No, we're at sea.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you finish? No, I'm Swedish.

[Dave Anthony]

From the coed side, there was a denial of any wild parties or unusual necking. Although it was admitted that the college rule of going to bed at 9 o'clock was broken with fairly regular consistency by those who sought first hand knowledge of astronomy. Huh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean there's no doubt astronomy.

[Dave Anthony]

I want to look at the stars. Oh. And I'm bringing my finger and you with this finger. It's a finger boat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let it go.

[Randy Blythe]

It is finger boat. The finger boat there was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sounds like something they serve at like an English cocktail party. Have you had a finger boat? Have a bit of finger boat. It's like an eclair banged an egg salad sandwich.

[Dave Anthony]

There was a certain amount of proposing on board, but I doubt whether the engagements will hold. The co ed said some people got engaged on the.

[Randy Blythe]

I love you.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the guy. That's the guy.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't love you no more.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the guy who gets it for the first time. He's like, I need to be with you forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you think anyone's ever proposed during a 69? I hope that's happened. I really hope in the history of Todd time someone's been 69ing and been.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, that's just what you say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up. Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Faster.

[Randy Blythe]

Right there, right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

Once off the ship, many of them will be forgotten. Of course there were sheiks in the sky school, just like on land. But I dare say there was more. I think they mean guys who are like, you know, how did they spell chic?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ladies.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no. S H E I.

[Randy Blythe]

Okay. Not like C. H, I, C. No, no.

[Dave Anthony]

I think they're. It probably means ladies, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I don't know. It's. To me, I thought you were like Muhammad bin Salman was on board or something.

[Dave Anthony]

But I dare say there was more necking back home in school than on the decks, which you must remember, afford little privacy. School officials point with pride.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There aren't rooms.

[Dave Anthony]

There's gotta be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But there's probably one large open.

[Dave Anthony]

No, but it's probably like a they're probably like dorm roomy situation. So you do it out on the deck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What you Do.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. Finger. I'll finger it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop suggesting everything's a finger.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. It's pretty. Pretty common to be like, hey, you want to finger Blast. Shuttleboard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want to go out for dinner and then maybe I'll finger you afterwards. I'll wash my hands and dinner.

[Dave Anthony]

Shuttle. Shuttleboard. Finger.

[Randy Blythe]

If it goes down, it's fingy in the dinghy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's confusing for the cab in the dingy. What about the dinghy? D. Finger in the dinghy. We'll hit it.

[Dave Anthony]

The school officials point with pride to the fact that only 13 boys had to be shipped home for drunkenness. Although admitting that it. That the next classes will be selected with more care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The class.

[Randy Blythe]

Only 13 boys had to be shipped.

[Dave Anthony]

13 guys got shipped off because they were shipped.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Only 13 last year was 250. We've really tightened it up over here.

[Dave Anthony]

That's really amazing. Like God. God bless those.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That really should be like a 1927.

[Randy Blythe]

And that's the story of the ferry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And that was the first fairy.

[Randy Blythe]

It was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was awesome. That was. That's how I met your mama. Proposed when her muff was in my mouth and I'd cocked her face. I mean, that's the reason why we don't hear about those anymore. Because it was probably just insane. They were probably headed to Reno for divorces right after.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

Swordfish. Whale duel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, come on now.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Randy Blythe]

He's getting like some sharknado tape.

[Dave Anthony]

I pay for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would absolutely.

[Randy Blythe]

Sword fish. Whale.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dude, who you got that? It's tough.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm going to give it to the swordfish.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm giving swordfish too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, although you know what swordfish gets in there. Stuck once over and can't get out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The whale can. The whale can do some damage and.

[Dave Anthony]

And the sword like the blubber. Like you wouldn't be able to pull out of the blubber if you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've pulled out of the blubber. But that was the 80s. The eye. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh. True confessions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was on a fairy and I'd never been so full of blow. Blubber. I pulled out.

[Dave Anthony]

Several schools of whales were seen on the way back to Honolulu. A number disporting between the steamer and land and others out beyond toward the ocean. At one time a swordfish leaped out of the water. He was evidently engaged in a bout with some whale. What became known of this fight will never be known, for the steamer kept on its way and the whales Were finally lost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is an article about nothing.

[Randy Blythe]

Just total lie.

[Dave Anthony]

Nothing happened.

[Randy Blythe]

Nothing happened. The swordfish was not fighting the whale.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he jumped up.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, he jumped.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And that's it. And they're. Oh, they're fighting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guy was like earth only finally a well swordfish battle. We didn't see it, but we're sure it was the thriller in Manila of aquatic fighting.

[Dave Anthony]

That's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, see that. That is a non story. That's story.

[Randy Blythe]

I saw a fish jump.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I'm making something up.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me tell. Hey, let me add a little pepper this time. I saw a fish.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't know man. That's kind of great. I see dolphins when I'm surfing. All. I mean, this is making me like. Have you ever re evaluate how I need to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You need to go deeper. How further out.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, you gotta break it. I need to tell my surf tales to my friends.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever gone out like a boat an acquire or something to see all the flying fish?

[Randy Blythe]

Oh yeah, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Those are awesome.

[Randy Blythe]

It's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you ever gone real far on land and seen the walking fish?

[Randy Blythe]

Yes, they're called snakeheads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they're crazy. Crazy.

[Randy Blythe]

An invasive species.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't you two surf together?

[Randy Blythe]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there. Is there a reason?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, because we don't live on the same coast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but couldn't you guys maybe surf? I don't know how it works. We could work out a plan and meet each other.

[Dave Anthony]

Now you need to stop talking now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How does that work? Could you paddle your boards out there?

[Dave Anthony]

Not a thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In your little suit.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever surfed on the Great Lakes?

[Randy Blythe]

No, but my friends have.

[Dave Anthony]

Because someone. Someone was making that offer. They would hook me up if I was ever there. And then went. Winter.

[Randy Blythe]

It's mush.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds terrible.

[Randy Blythe]

Very cold mush.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

[Randy Blythe]

My buddy sent me some pictures. Yeah, like waist high. Yeah, it's just beach break.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe you guys meet in the Gulf of America and go for one.

[Randy Blythe]

You know what? If we're gonna meet somewhere to surf, why don't we like meet somewhere warm with good waves?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he makes a good point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Send David DocuSign.

[Randy Blythe]

We have this technology.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we do.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, we can do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like this for you guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Silence while we think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that a headline or are you upset?

[Randy Blythe]

I say that often.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's yelled that at me a lot during the show.

[Dave Anthony]

Silence while we think. It's a podcasting moment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

From a circular received. The yesterday of today was the today of yesterday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hate this article more than anyone we've ever done.

[Dave Anthony]

Try that on your cerebral organ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You writer, the whole thing. My cerebral organ? Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Use that in your brain. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

It was silent while we think that's. It should have just stopped there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It should. That's filler silence. That's paper filler silence. It's like a dad writing an article to his son. Silence while I drink.

[Dave Anthony]

Abusive phone calls traced to ex husband.

[Randy Blythe]

Surprise, surprise.

[Dave Anthony]

This is just amazing. Who would have thought Ms. Rudolph Stein, a nurse employed at the Robinson home notified captain of police POA yesterday afternoon that a man was continually ringing her up on the telephone and using abusive and profane language.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why did you leave me?

[Dave Anthony]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Click. I think I know who it is.

[Dave Anthony]

In cooperation with the telephone company, a trap was set. Oh, and about 15 minutes later, Captain Poa was told by telephone officials that if he would go to 236 South.

[Gareth Reynolds]

King street, they traced the call.

[Dave Anthony]

He would find another author. He would find the author of the profane language.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice way of putting an abusive call.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I hopped into an auto. I mean, I don't care what year it is. You don't say that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's fine.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't give a. Like it's 1901, 1927.

[Randy Blythe]

He should have been fired.

[Dave Anthony]

No one goes, I got into an auto. No, you didn't. You're already lying. The cops lie, said Captain Poa. And just as I made my entrance at 236 S. King St. I found Rudolph Stein in an intoxicated condition telephoning.

[Randy Blythe]

And I knew he was German.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, two giveaways.

[Randy Blythe]

Just a drunken German. He just infuriated. Did I not do my best to make you happy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I tried everything. I gave and I gave this relationship and I cave.

[Randy Blythe]

Everything was good. And an orderly. Alice is in Orden. But you left any rain? Nein, Nein.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You scheisser. We have no idea who this is.

[Randy Blythe]

It sounds like my German ex husband.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We gotta trace the call. He's being very specific.

[Dave Anthony]

He was in an intoxicated condition telephoning to his former wife and using.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know who it could be.

[Randy Blythe]

October Schnauzer.

[Dave Anthony]

Stein switched literally Baby Hogan dust boot described by her in her report to me. Stein was taken to police headquarters and held for investigation. What? There's no investigation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're going to fingerprint him.

[Randy Blythe]

He's drunk his.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'll admit I did it. Well, we got a further dig.

[Dave Anthony]

Telephone authorities will swear to a warrant this morning on charges of using profane language over the telephone. That's that. That's when you could get charged for that. Swearing over the phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, harassment. Because I remember. I remember when I found out about. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

When you found out that you couldn't do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Star Six Star. The invention of Star 69. They did not come on the news and be like, there's new technology to stop prank calls. They let the parents, let the kids know.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we'd been pranking this kid for, like, months. And then all of a sudden, the one day we were sitting there, and this. My friend's mom came in, and she goes, whatever. I won't say the last name, but, like, Mrs. Is on the phone. And we were like, the actual fuck. She was like, I guess there's something called Star 69. And they traced the callback, and we were like, fucking toast, dude.

[Randy Blythe]

My. My buddy Brian, and he was really good at prank calling. Him and his friends in his house they lived in were just prank calling all the local businesses, restaurants, and was the best, like, hilarious shit. But he was telling us about this, and, you know, oh, we pranked this place and told him, you know, we got ahold of something bad, and now we got the shits, and they need to, you know, we're gonna call the health department, blah, blah, blah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he started crying. He's like, flashback.

[Randy Blythe]

And I'm just. Yeah, I'm just laughing. So then I get this idea. My buddy, his wife, she was a schoolteacher with a very strict voice. So we pranked the caller, and it was like, hello, is this Brian Carlton? Yes. This is before we had contact. Yeah. He's like, hey, this is Janet Ludlow down at AT&T. And we've received many, many calls from different local area businesses saying that you've been pranking them, complaining about this. And he's like. And she started listing the restaurant precisely everything thing. And it's like, you know, this is a federal offense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Randy Blythe]

You know, and he's just like, oh, so great, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then what? You gave the reveal?

[Randy Blythe]

No, no, no. Just let it ride.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Just let it ride, dude.

[Randy Blythe]

Still is like, let it ride for a while, man. Yeah, he was. His pants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet.

[Randy Blythe]

How did they know about McDonald's? How did they know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was so niche. Yeah, it was an accidental one. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

So good.

[Dave Anthony]

It's so advanced. Now, Finn. There's a kid in Finn's class who just poses as young women online and just gets thousands of dollars from old dudes by pretending he's Going to go like, there's a guy in Germany he was getting thousands of dollars from because the guy thought that he was going to fly out like a 16 year old girl. The bang. And then he'd just get thousands of dollars and then it'd be like, off, you loser. And she keeps the money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy 100%.

[Randy Blythe]

How old is this child?

[Dave Anthony]

The kid, the guy doing it? He's. He's like 16.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh my God. So he's like catfishing these who are pedophile creeps.

[Dave Anthony]

That's so I am.

[Randy Blythe]

This. Is everything closed and for it? Yeah. Both opposed and really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like weird when you're fighting like pedophilia with capitalism.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. A 16 year old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Are they, is he, is he doing cryptocurrency or something in order to get the payment? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, imagine trying to get your money back. He gets all crypto reporting it to the police.

[Dave Anthony]

Like so he's got, he's got an entire forum of all these pedos that he just sucks money up from. And then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't say it like that.

[Dave Anthony]

And then when they get to, when they get to like, I want to fly you out, here's the money. Then he blocks them and they go away.

[Randy Blythe]

That's fucking crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And that's how he's gonna pay for college.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is gonna get on a boat.

[Randy Blythe]

Bumming pedophiles out and it's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The world, I mean, look, I know that they're, they're problematic. It's a site. But I always say let them know. I mean, even a pedophile let them down easy. That's what I've always said. What, break up with them.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, Aaron, can you cut that?

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I'll say it into the ca. I, I've. Hi. Hey, everybody.

[Dave Anthony]

You're not even looking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trump's a pet. Look, my point is, what's our sponsor?

[Randy Blythe]

Let's move on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What we got?

[Randy Blythe]

We're going down in flames.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, come on.

[Dave Anthony]

Our sponsor is Ashley Madison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy, that's tough. Do you want to date Ashley Madison?

[Dave Anthony]

Do you want to date someone who's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was the one real.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, that's, that's actually.

[Dave Anthony]

Madison's the one where they like when they did investigation, they found like nobody. They're just sucking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was dudes from people. It was crazy. Yeah. It was such a scheme. And the amount of men who were like, ooh.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, it's like married people who want to like around.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. But none of they were like, no women saw dudes talking to fake People.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Classic dudes.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, back to this. Whatever was happening in this. Sure. Stein is a former detective who has been separated from his wife for some time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he was a detective doing this?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. What a idiot. What a idiot. Like, dude, you knew you were gonna. You're a detective. Like, come on, man. So dumb.

[Randy Blythe]

Do not have cold tracing in Deutschland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it wasn't me. He's still holding the phone. I can still hear you.

[Dave Anthony]

There's no headline in this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That doesn't matter.

[Dave Anthony]

Dean. Ing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you doing German in.

[Dave Anthony]

Is it in?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

In English. I feel like it's in English. Of St. Paul's in London. Says there ought to be lady housemaids. This is good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But in 1927, that doesn't feel like lady housemate maids. That feels like non controversial back then.

[Randy Blythe]

Like. Like.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that's.

[Randy Blythe]

Isn't that kind of like just saying there ought to be gas stations where I can get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or like, there ought to be waitresses.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Also, until then, it was.

[Randy Blythe]

Were there a bunch of dude housemaids running around?

[Dave Anthony]

There's a lot of dude housemates.

[Randy Blythe]

Little French.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your door was quite dusty, sir. Also, bend over.

[Randy Blythe]

I'd like to turn your bed down, but I don't do windows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your laundry's done.

[Randy Blythe]

Your laundry's done. Jeffrey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your counters were quite muddy, sir. Would you care for biscuit shag, sir.

[Dave Anthony]

Also, the social status of domestic service should be raised so that it could be recognized as an honorable profession, as a human being. Honorable profession for the daughters of professional men.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a very. It's very strange because.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yes, because you go through a phase, obviously, where that is considered a female occupation.

[Randy Blythe]

But you said also honorable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also honorable.

[Randy Blythe]

You guys just did the po Thing. The first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And I know a bit about Poe because he was from Richmond, representing. His mother wouldn't be too proud. His Mary is amen. He was a brilliant writer. But there's a little sketchy things. Sketchy things about it. But his mother is buried up the hill from where I used to live up in Churchill in an unmarked grave. Because she was an actress and she died in years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A great actress.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes. But at that time, even though people went to the theater, being an actress or an actor was a disreputable profession. It was almost close to, like, prostitution. The way they viewed it still is.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Randy Blythe]

But she's. She's buried up in. In the yard of St. John's Church.

[Dave Anthony]

Still unmarked.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes. Which is. They don't know precisely where she is.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Randy Blythe]

Because she was an actress and that's the same church where Patrick Henry said, give me liberty or give me death.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. Lots of history.

[Dave Anthony]

A lot of history. Yeah. Well, Poe, why don't you just run the show?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Dave, chill out. It's okay.

[Randy Blythe]

1776.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. What happened that year?

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so he thinks this would solve a great social pro program. It would temporarily. This is now the. Our newspaper talking. I think the real solution is to develop electrical apparatus to take the place of a. Of house rumbas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, they already go straight to.

[Randy Blythe]

AI Zumbas or Roombas.

[Dave Anthony]

What if we have a robot?

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Randy Blythe]

Is it. Is it the. Are they called Roombas?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Roomba. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, yeah. My buddy got one recently.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh yeah. Roomba are.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, I have one and he, he like showed it to me. He programmed it.

[Dave Anthony]

They're great.

[Randy Blythe]

It maps everything.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I mean, it tells Google where everything is in your house.

[Randy Blythe]

But I, I just wasn't impressed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Randy Blythe]

It seems like it took a long time.

[Dave Anthony]

It does take a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm not.

[Randy Blythe]

Where I could just be like, okay, we're done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. That's how I feel. I'm like, I'll get that done quicker. And it's not as big of a.

[Dave Anthony]

If that happens when I'm not there and I'm not.

[Randy Blythe]

I told, I told my buddy Patty that the thing is going to turn on him one night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Randy Blythe]

It's going to come out. He's got the one. It's got the stand and it goes. It backs in. It washes itself and comes out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Washes itself.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. And there's this little arm that comes out.

[Dave Anthony]

Little shotgun swings out and.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It also has a blade.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where is the money, Patty?

[Dave Anthony]

It can slice your Achilles heel. Yeah, it's. It's great. They're great.

[Randy Blythe]

Patty. Patty Platinum. He's one of my serent buddies, but we call him Patty Platinum because he's. He's got nice things. Well, but I, I question his vacuum cleaner purchase.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't have one.

[Randy Blythe]

Robot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave is surprising.

[Dave Anthony]

Call it the little robot that my wife hates.

[Randy Blythe]

Do you. So do you have like the Google all over your house?

[Dave Anthony]

Like, I don't use the. I don't use the one that's associated with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's wife is a robot.

[Dave Anthony]

It's an unGoogle one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Un. Google that.

[Randy Blythe]

Be a great.

[Dave Anthony]

I try to keep Google away out of my house for a lot of most stuff.

[Randy Blythe]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, we have the podcast emails, Google. But I'm trying to get away from Google.

[Randy Blythe]

Google say as we say.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we don't say that. We're not saying that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are.

[Dave Anthony]

We're not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've always said that. Stop. What's the matter?

[Dave Anthony]

For once, I didn't want to do a Nazi podcast. For once, I didn't want this to turn into a Nazi podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They want the roombas, the rumbas, and the hoogas. What do you know, Roomba? What have you picked up on?

[Dave Anthony]

The real solution is to develop electrical apparatus to take the place of the housemaids. Any woman good enough to be a good housemaid ought to be married and taken care of a family.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, this is just not. I did not see that coming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't either. I really thought that this is in.

[Randy Blythe]

1927 that was gonna come.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It felt.

[Randy Blythe]

We need robots.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It felt like it was gonna take a. Like, a suffrage. Like there was going to be a moment of, like, freedom. Yes. Freedom. Only to just be like, good Lord. How's she going to absorb all the babies if she's cleaning? It's like she's there to make pools and pools of children.

[Randy Blythe]

How can they be constantly birthing if they are out doing the mopping, the folding, the laundry, the dishes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you're walking and cleaning, you're not getting babies. The nuclear household will fall apart. It's what Elon said.

[Dave Anthony]

Where are we at with time?

[Gareth Reynolds]

One minute.

[Randy Blythe]

One minute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got one minute left.

[Randy Blythe]

We got one minute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've done a Google. We've done a Google hours. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Machine gun patrols.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Finally.

[Randy Blythe]

Finally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A little. You haven't heard everything yet.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm from Virginia, man.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. This gets him excited. 35 machine gun patrols.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, I'm on board.

[Dave Anthony]

And all have been detailed to duty at strategic points in the city by police headquarters. What the.

[Randy Blythe]

In Honolulu?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Seems like that's not aloha spirit.

[Randy Blythe]

No. They were keeping the alleys away.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Waves are good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were shooting the waves.

[Randy Blythe]

Duke Kahanamoko said enough. Yeah, you, Holly, get out of here. My sergeant turf.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I haven't understood what anyone said.

[Randy Blythe]

Go home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

All gangsters and hotbeds of disorder are being closely watched, and strictest discipline will be maintained at the polling places. Oh, it's for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Randy Blythe]

It's for the pole guy. The pole guy at the polling place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How am I polling?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Randy Blythe]

The pole guy, pool guy, the drunk pole guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. He's like.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't necessarily make the joke connection, but it's pretty good.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't believe what I just read. What happened to America history is that.

[Randy Blythe]

We'Re living in it.

[Dave Anthony]

That's it. That's all we're doing.

[Randy Blythe]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's pretty. Is interesting. The better time. We're doomed. Favorite part of that one. I'll go.

[Dave Anthony]

Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The. The fuck university. The. The water fuck universe.

[Randy Blythe]

I think that was, you know, the. The most. Just. I don't know, had the most zest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess it was when they made scurvy and STD finally. Yeah, that's what I. That's my favorite part.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not gonna weigh in?

[Dave Anthony]

No. I mean, obviously the best story of all these was the. The crazy swordfish whale fight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't agree. Never get better than that, Randy. People go to randyblide.net that's right. See your book tour.

[Randy Blythe]

You can read my substack Randonesia, which.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'm a big fan of.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're very. You're prolific. A prolific individual.

[Dave Anthony]

He's running from something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's running. He's surfing from something. Whatever it is, we're glad to have you.

[Randy Blythe]

Glad to be here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, this next one goes out to Randy Bly. I just wanted to dedicate something to you like you did to me. If David come to the show that night, he would have had a song dedicated to him too. Right?

[Randy Blythe]

He would have you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've never seen someone have as much energy. It was funny to me that I was like, we were just hanging out in a green room, and then he's jumping.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

20Ft, pouring water all over himself.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a rock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's full, but it's like. It's beyond just being a rock guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he's a. It's a particular type of rock guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's full body, that.

[Dave Anthony]

That type of rock.

[Randy Blythe]

I have to do all that to make up for the lack of talent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even think that's true. I don't even think that's true. But I'm gonna start doing that at our show.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gonna be a lot more jumping off of speakers.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Running around. This next pun goes out. I'm gonna do, like, that sort of stuff. Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right. Well, you're coming around for a part.

[Randy Blythe]

Two, so I will be here for a part two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Well, as always, we want to say thanks to everybody and don't kill yourselves. Yeah. Thank you.

[Randy Blythe]

Chin's up.

[Dave Anthony]

Later, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus, Dave's a cop. Some of these days you'll miss me, honey Some of these days. Oh, hey, doll heads. This Is Gareth part of the gear force? Listen, you're part of the gear force. Go to garethreynolds.com if you want to see me on the road doing doing stand up. You could find me in Brea, California. February 7th Eureka, California, for two shows. February 11th at Savage Henry, San Francisco. February 12th Sacramento, February 13th. Then I'll be in Naples, Florida, March 24th Charlotte, April 13th Raleigh, North Carolina, April 14th, April 15th I'll be in Virginia Beach. April 16th I'll be in Richmond, Virginia. Then I will be in Lutherville, Timonium, which is close to Baltimore, I believe. Goobie's Joke House, April 17 through April 19. Then I will be in Winnipeg May 29 through May 31. Go to garethreynolds.com for tickets and information.