116 - The Past Times with Randall Blythe - part 2

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Episode 116 - The Past Times with Randall Blythe - Part 2
Release Date: March 15, 2025

---

Introduction

In Episode 116 of The Dollop by All Things Comedy, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Randall Blythe for the second part of their deep dive into historical oddities. This episode, titled "The Past Times with Randall Blythe - Part 2," traverses a myriad of bizarre and intriguing stories from the past, delivering laughter intertwined with insightful commentary.

---

Rock Star Banter and Guest Introduction

[00:58]
Gareth Reynolds kicks off the episode by introducing Randall Blythe, who brings his unique perspective to the discussion. The conversation quickly veers into playful banter about Randalls' rock star status.

Dave Anthony:
"If I were to refer to myself as a rock star, I would call myself a budget rock star."
[01:38]

Randall Blythe:
"I drive the same truck I've driven since 2009."
[01:46]

This lighthearted exchange sets the tone for the episode, blending humor with genuine discussion about Randall's life and career.

---

Book Tour and Creative Pursuits

[03:41]
Gareth highlights Randall's multifaceted career, mentioning his upcoming book release and book tour scheduled for February 18th. Randall emphasizes his creative drive, stating:

Randall Blythe:
"I'm constantly running around because I am so creatively obsessed."
[03:57]

This segment underscores Randall's dedication to his craft and his commitment to engaging with his audience through various mediums.

---

Food Poisoning Tales from the Stage

The conversation shifts to comedic yet relatable anecdotes about dealing with food poisoning during performances.

[05:56] Dave Anthony:
"I did a show at a culinary school in South Carolina... and I immediately got food poisoning. I was the last guy on the show, and I was like in the back throwing up."
[07:31]

[06:00] Gareth Reynolds:
"I think he's running from what's inside of himself."
[06:11]

Both Randall and Dave share their experiences, highlighting the unpredictable challenges performers face, all while maintaining a humorous undertone.

---

"Guess the Year" Segment: The Elusive Train Mystery

[09:15] Dave Anthony:
"Guard hid hand grenade. Traveler says, oh, boy."
[12:00]

In this segment, Randall, Dave, and Gareth attempt to date a peculiar newspaper story about a security guard who planted a hand grenade in a passenger's purse to test airport security. Their guesses reflect the absurdity of the scenario:

Randall Blythe:
"September 30th, year 1783."
[09:48]

Dave Anthony:
"1899."
[10:30]

Eventually, they settle on the correct year:

Gareth Reynolds:
"It is the Richmond Times Dispatch."
[11:35]

The trio's interplay adds layers of humor as they dissect the flawed logic behind such a misguided security test.

---

Birds in the Car: A Florida Fiasco

[30:00] Dave Anthony:
"Andrew Alif has had to resort to hitching rides because his car is for the birds."
[31:00]

The discussion moves to a comical yet frustrating story of a man in Florida who abandons his car after discovering sparrows nesting in his glove compartment. The absurdity of the situation is amplified through the hosts' witty commentary:

Dave Anthony:
"He grabbed the hand grenade. Hold the pin for the hand grenade. Intending to throw it away from us."
[13:22]

This segment highlights the lengths to which individuals will go to reclaim their personal space from unexpected wildlife intrusions.

---

Dog Poop Pickup Service: Entrepreneurship in the 80s

[33:51] Dave Anthony:
"Doug Thompson is an entrepreneur in what most people would call a dirty business."
[34:11]

Randall introduces a local entrepreneur, Doug Thompson, who started a dog poop pickup service using unconventional tools like a rake and fishnet line. The hosts riff on the ingenuity and humor behind such a venture:

Gareth Reynolds:
"He's throwing dog poop from people's yards and then throwing it in others."
[36:10]

Dave Anthony:
"He charges $10 a month for stopping. Buy a one dog yard once a week."
[36:30]

Their playful mockery underscores the entrepreneurial spirit of the era, portraying it through a lens of exaggerated absurdity.

---

Environmental Catastrophe: Bowling Green's Cave Fumes

[59:38] Dave Anthony:
"Winding for miles beneath the streets of this Southern Kentucky city is the Lost River Cave... the largest city in America built entirely atop a cave system."
[62:19]

One of the most intense discussions revolves around Bowling Green, Kentucky, grappling with toxic fumes seeping from underground cave systems into residential areas and schools. The hosts delve into the environmental and health implications:

Dave Anthony:
"Chemicals entering the cave stream apparently are being trapped underground where they generate toxic fumes that rise through crevices to the surface."
[61:08]

Gareth Reynolds:
"Welcome to the Trash Forest."
[60:11]

The segment balances dark humor with serious commentary on environmental negligence, highlighting the ongoing struggles of the community.

---

Airplane Payphone Madness

[44:24] Dave Anthony:
"The airplane telephones are designed to be billed directly to your personal credit card... you make a call."
[46:32]

Recounting a bizarre story from the past, the hosts discuss an individual's obsession with using the payphone on an airplane, leading to exorbitant phone bills:

Gareth Reynolds:
"I'm gonna break your hand for your own good."
[51:37]

Dave Anthony:
"As awful as that is, the bill very well could have been as much as $300."
[54:05]

Their exaggerated portrayal of airline telephony struggles offers both nostalgia and comedic relief.

---

Stroh's Brewery Closure: The End of an Era

[43:36] Dave Anthony:
"Stroh's Brewery, Richmond. This is a column..."
[43:43]

The hosts discuss the humorous tragedy of Stroh's Brewery in Detroit shutting down after 135 years, reflecting on the decline of a once-dominant beer maker:

Randall Blythe:
"Stroh's would just slit its own throat. It's one of the best beers in America and they killed themselves."
[43:43]

The conversation serves as a commentary on corporate self-sabotage, wrapped in their signature comedic style.

---

Conclusion

[71:19] Randy Blythe:
"We're all gonna die. And just think of how much worse it's all gotten."
[71:26]

As the episode wraps up, Randall, Dave, and Gareth reflect on the various stories discussed, blending humor with a touch of existential musings. The final remarks encapsulate the show's essence: finding laughter amidst the absurdities of history.

---

Notable Quotes

• Dave Anthony:
  "He grabbed the hand grenade. Hold the pin for the hand grenade. Intending to throw it away from us."
  [13:22]

• Randall Blythe:
  "September 30th, year 1783."
  [09:48]

• Gareth Reynolds:
  "Welcome to the Trash Forest."
  [60:11]

• Dave Anthony:
  "As awful as that is, the bill very well could have been as much as $300."
  [54:05]

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 116 of The Dollop masterfully blends humor with historical quirks, offering listeners a rollercoaster of laughter and contemplation. Through Randall Blythe's engaging storytelling and the hosts' comedic flair, the episode provides a memorable exploration of the past's most peculiar headlines.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast week. We go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week. Round two of Randy Boy. Hi, Randy.

[Randy Blythe]

Round four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, round four. Round two of today.

[Randy Blythe]

Round two of today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're good for two.

[Randy Blythe]

I am.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's because you got that rock star stamina.

[Randy Blythe]

I'll go for mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you like being called a rock star? What do you think of that?

[Randy Blythe]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that why?

[Randy Blythe]

Because.

[Dave Anthony]

What about a cock star?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you like cock and roll?

[Randy Blythe]

Cock and roll.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where I put my wiener in sushi.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, you are technically a rock star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you like to. What do you like? What do you go with?

[Randy Blythe]

If I were to refer to myself as a rock star, I would call myself a budget rock star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Randy Blythe]

I came here in a Nissan Rogue.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but Rogue, I mean, look, you're against the system.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a rental. You at home drive a Bentley.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You drive a Tesla with the doors that go up like the Lamborghini side.

[Randy Blythe]

We've seen it. I drive the same truck I've driven since 2009.

[Dave Anthony]

I get that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who would you call a rock star?

[Randy Blythe]

I have rock star friends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who?

[Randy Blythe]

Like my friend Duff McKagan Rockstar. That's Rock stars. The dude, let me tell you, I.

[Dave Anthony]

Went when I went and saw Guns and Roses like, whatever, right before COVID that dude plays a punk song, and I was just like, just do more of this for the show. Well, do I know he's an old punk guy. Yeah, but, like, he's a fucking legit punk guy.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

He was in Guns N Roses, but he was always a legit punk guy. And when he came, I'm so glad that he played that punk song. I was like, yes.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. Duff is a wonderful human being.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a rock star.

[Dave Anthony]

He seems like it. He very much seems like it.

[Randy Blythe]

He is a real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a rock star. I hate to say it. I'm sorry. You are. But you know what else you are?

[Randy Blythe]

Look, Duff is married to a supermodel.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, he is.

[Randy Blythe]

I. As a not rock star. No supermodel would ever. Look at me. I love my girl, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

She's my supermodel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's great.

[Randy Blythe]

But she was not in Rome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She might have been in Rome.

[Randy Blythe]

Like, walking the carpet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The carpet.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't have a call. Walking the carpet is it. They do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's the catwalk.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, sorry. I don't fucking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now. You're not a rock star.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm not a rock star. I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody does. Nobody says, like, in Rome. And then those little walkie finger guys. People don't do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So listen, models, you're gonna walk the carpet.

[Randy Blythe]

And it's also. It's in Milan. That's where Fashion Week is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right? Okay. All right, fine.

[Dave Anthony]

I love Fashion Week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop talking. But you're more than just a budget rock star. Author.

[Randy Blythe]

Author.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you're a raconteur. Can I call you that? A rock on tour. But you have a new book coming out February 18th.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you're also doing a book tour. Yes, for your book. But you're not just gonna stand there because you are so creatively obsessed.

[Randy Blythe]

Nervous energy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't want to sit there and. Steve, stop.

[Dave Anthony]

He's running from what's inside of himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like you aren't.

[Dave Anthony]

Like you are. And quietly meditating and accepting what is. He's constantly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everything Dave's. Because Dave does is because he can't fight his dad.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's dad was a hell of a guy, by the way. You can go to.

[Randy Blythe]

I heard you killed him. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's 100% and it's not.

[Dave Anthony]

You literally admitted it this morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I didn't. I said, we hung out on the day, died drinking.

[Dave Anthony]

And then things got bad at night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was sad to hear he went. It was awful. But you're not going to be reading chapters from your book. You're going to be telling other stories.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes. Running around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And from what I've heard, they're great. Right?

[Randy Blythe]

Well, you know I have good stories and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you have a lot of good stories.

[Randy Blythe]

All the best ones I have are normally at my expense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you've kind of lived two lives. You've lived the one and now the one that you're reporting on.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes. The, the stupid currently in and the really stupid one I used to it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which was wild but. But people can go to randybligh.net spelled.

[Randy Blythe]

Blythe yeah r a n d y dash b l y dash t dash h e dot net go there for you can pre order the books and you can get tickets and I'm going to be ending the tour March 12th, 13th and 14th here in California.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it true that Dave and I are going to be up on stage for the one in la? I heard that. We're going to be up there hanging out.

[Randy Blythe]

Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even if we're just bottomless. Bottomless. Yeah. Well, we'd like to call it Skin Centaurs Full of Viagra. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rock. Rock hard Rock stars.

[Randy Blythe]

Rock stars. And I will be donated any proceeds from the California shows to Habitat la.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When you're performing, do you ever have to go to the bathroom? What do you do if you have to go to the bathroom? On stage?

[Randy Blythe]

Myself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You do. Have you ever pissed yourself on stage?

[Randy Blythe]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, great. All right. Well, Dave, have you Piss myself on stage.

[Dave Anthony]

Like what are you doing if you go to the bathroom and you're on state. You're also a performer by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm. But it's different. Different.

[Randy Blythe]

I, I, I bet you've never had to do this. Which multiple guys in my band have, not just me. Had a trash can ready behind the.

[Dave Anthony]

To vomit shit, shit, shit on stage.

[Randy Blythe]

Dude. Look, let me tell you something, bro.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Randy Blythe]

When you have food poisoning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh right, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you guys eating?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're getting great food.

[Randy Blythe]

I tried.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right now you are.

[Randy Blythe]

This is Lamb of God, not Led Zeppelin, bro. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like undercooked lamb.

[Randy Blythe]

You're in different countries, different bacteria. You know what I mean? But literally we've had to have a trash can back there because now I've never done this. People do not give a if you have food poisoning or have some sort of stomach bug or whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is crazy.

[Randy Blythe]

They wanted and you're in London. Like my guitar player Mark had fucking horrific, horrific food poisoning one time and still went on stage and he was gray and just didn't move the whole time. I like stood near him. I was afraid he's going to fall over. But I've done that before, so when you, when you.

[Dave Anthony]

I did that. I did a show at a culinary school in South Carolina, a culinary, culinary school. And they were like, the students want to serve you before. And I ate the food and I immediately got food poisoning. And I was the last guy on the show. And they, and I was like in the back throwing up and, and they're like, call my name. Ran out.

[Randy Blythe]

Let's go, funny man.

[Dave Anthony]

45. Exactly 45. And then ran off. Went right back to the back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, see, I've. Okay, two things. One, Dave has had food poisoning. And cancel the show before I did get off.

[Dave Anthony]

I couldn't get off the floor that time.

[Randy Blythe]

That happened to me in Vegas, actually. I ate sushi here in LA with my buddy Stick. And then we went to Vegas and I got off the bus the next morning. I was like, at the House of Blues. I was like, all right. And then all of a sudden it was just like, oh, all wrong, you know, and then I was just throwing up and shitting uncontrollably. And the doctor came and shot me in the ass with something to make me stop puking. Yeah. And then I was in my bunk and I just remember my tour manager, Brian, opening the bunk and being like, are we going to have to cancel? He's very non emotional. He. Are we going to have to canc. Cancel the show? I'm like, yes, Brian. And then passed out. But that's, that's the only time I've ever canceled a show due to sickness. I've done it with it. But you, you made it through with food poisoning at a culinary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, culinary is how you said it. I, I one time was about to explode on stage and I was like, literally 20 minutes in.

[Randy Blythe]

I was a comedy club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this is within the last year. And I was like on stage. Like, oh, boy. And I was 20 minutes in where it started. And by the end, I, you know, I keep my time and I'll normally do a little more than whatever, 45. But I was like, it was 44, 39. And I ran, ran off stage.

[Randy Blythe]

Thank you very much. You've been great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it was like that. Yeah, it was like.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you that day eat any van eggs?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. You want to know what I blame it on?

[Randy Blythe]

Comedy club food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No wings, no Ricola. I had too many Ricola.

[Dave Anthony]

What does that even mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, we're gonna guess what year this paper's from.

[Dave Anthony]

That's too many wrinkles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rico roll.

[Randy Blythe]

I heard that someone recently, they found out they were shitting their pants because they couldn't drink Pellegrino.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not crazy. You're not supposed to drink too much sparkling water.

[Dave Anthony]

It's got a lot of stuff in it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, just like Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

Fecal stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Randy, we're gonna guess what year this paper is from. Well, it's actually French for the crap. Okay. What year? Do you think that you were two years off on the first one?

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got any theories?

[Randy Blythe]

Yes, I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm gonna go ahead and say even though you never asked for the date, I just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're more than welcome.

[Randy Blythe]

September 30th. Year 1783.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? I know. That's old. That's too old. You got cocky, sir.

[Randy Blythe]

I know, because, like, I didn't know if they had newspapers here yet or not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They did. They were just, like, real weird.

[Randy Blythe]

I know. That's what I was hoping for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were just, like, River Sprite, Storm's capital. Yeah, that's fine.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm from Virginia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna. Well, okay. Do you want to guess where I bet you this paper is close to where you're from? Do you want to guess where it's from?

[Randy Blythe]

Newport News, Virginia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I'm gonna guess. Why are you mad at me already, asshole?

[Dave Anthony]

Do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

1899. No, shut up. And I'm gonna say Richmond.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it's Richmond. You already knew that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I didn't.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you did.

[Randy Blythe]

I did not, you whore. Are you cheating?

[Dave Anthony]

There's no way Burns didn't tell you. He didn't tell me, so you're disqualified. What year is Richmond, Virginia? 6-3-18. 1985.

[Randy Blythe]

Sorry, 1985.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wouldn't you think I would know the year then?

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, boy. All right, now, this could be a good one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This could be.

[Randy Blythe]

You did know. I did not know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why are you taking his side, slut? You do not call me that.

[Randy Blythe]

Not fair. What are you talking about? I lost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did. You got it right the first time, basically. And he normally. Who won?

[Dave Anthony]

He did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You won, okay?

[Dave Anthony]

He was disqualified.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dad likes you.

[Dave Anthony]

He was disqualified.

[Randy Blythe]

You were disqualified.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. You're both getting a little too worked up.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm just upset. You were. Trollop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the podcast. That's the other podcast.

[Dave Anthony]

He can't be trusted. It is the Richmond Times Dispatch.

[Randy Blythe]

The Times disgrace as it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ooh. Well, boy, you got a lot of insider knowledge, don't you?

[Randy Blythe]

They were always pretty good to me, I guess.

[Dave Anthony]

Guard hid hand grenade. Traveler says, oh, boy.

[Randy Blythe]

Guard hid hand grenade. Now, is. This is a city jail.

[Dave Anthony]

This is an airport. Guard put a hand Grenade into a passenger's purse to test airport security at.

[Randy Blythe]

I see.

[Dave Anthony]

No, this is in El Paso AP story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy fuck.

[Dave Anthony]

To test airport security, but instead gave the woman and her family the scare of their lives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honey, there's. What is this? Looks.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God. Jump on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it a turtle?

[Randy Blythe]

So the guard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. The good. The TSA agent or whatever they were called back.

[Randy Blythe]

Now he's doing. The guard is just like. I think I'm ready to do a little explosive.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because this is when there's no security at all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why not a gun?

[Randy Blythe]

Back when you could joke about hitting bombs and stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No, when you literally remember when people could walk you to your gate.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like your family. Like, what's up?

[Randy Blythe]

Bye.

[Dave Anthony]

Ken Bryce, 29, and his wife Carol.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't like his name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't care for it either.

[Dave Anthony]

And his wife Carol and their six month old son Justin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hate Justin. Am I the only one furious Justin. Little piece of shit went through crying all the time. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Went through security at El Paso International Airport Saturday after their carry on baggage came through an X ray machine. Bryce saw a grenade in his wife's purse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like how he saw it. He saw it. What? On X ray.

[Dave Anthony]

He probably just went to pick it up and saw it.

[Randy Blythe]

Honey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

What's going on? We're taking these fuckers down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We will show them last flight to Bolivia.

[Dave Anthony]

My first thought was for the safety of my wife and son, said Bryce. I grabbed the hand grenade. Hold the pin for the hand grenade. Intending to throw it away from us.

[Randy Blythe]

What the fucking Christ?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, this is.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what I would do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. I would probably leave.

[Randy Blythe]

I would grab the wife.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And the kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd leave the kid. I didn't. I didn't like the kid from the beginning.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Yell some fucking wild ass shit. That would get me canceled today.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm picking it up and I'm throwing it. Because you know how there's always a TS guy, TSA guy that's in charge and he's got like a little podium thing over on the side. I'm throwing it right at him and I'm yelling down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, here's what I'm doing. Eating it.

[Randy Blythe]

Why? At him?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Why him? Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two birds, one grenade.

[Dave Anthony]

To get to the top of tsa.

[Randy Blythe]

You're a piece of the top. The guy. The guy Checking your ID in 1985 is the top. It's the heights security.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave hates any power structure that Guy Dave's like, it should be a co op.

[Randy Blythe]

Dare you try and keep us safe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Should be a co op. Dave. How could they make this? It should be a co op.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So this guy, he reaches to grab it because he's gonna throw it. He's gonna throw the fucking.

[Randy Blythe]

Also, why is this dude in his wife's purse?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I think that they. It's probably. If a guard put it in there, it's probably open and you can see it. I would imagine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But he's still getting a little sneaky with those eyes. And his wife's.

[Randy Blythe]

But this. And this is also in Texas.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Where it's totally normal.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, totally. Grenades.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We gave them away when you all walked in.

[Dave Anthony]

So intending to throw it away from us, not thinking about all the people coming up the concourse, a security guard grabbed them.

[Randy Blythe]

Family first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Honestly, Security guard grabbed my hand and said, no, don't touch it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's my craziest Interact.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, this is not. This is.

[Randy Blythe]

Was this sanctioned?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just gonna say this guy just went rogue. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Then the guard told me that they had put it there to make sure their machines were working properly, but they weren't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He noticed it, but he.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that they could see it probably.

[Randy Blythe]

This is insane.

[Dave Anthony]

This is insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The 80s were awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Insane.

[Randy Blythe]

Like, what? Like, why wouldn't they just like, okay, now we're gonna do the test. Have their own little bag. They said, like, Let me take Mrs. Johnson's purse.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And put this. We needed to be right beside her gummy bears and her birth control. And like, let's just see what the happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We gotta put it in a real lady's b.

[Randy Blythe]

Make sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you doing?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because they had to been testing the. The guard on the machine and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then did he slip it in the bag prior to, like, he just.

[Randy Blythe]

Like Houdini, like, have a grenade.

[Dave Anthony]

The guard dropped it in as it was going through.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Then the guard told me they had put it there to make sure their machines are working properly. And Bryce said the guards did not say whether the grade was live or a dummy.

[Randy Blythe]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, don't mess with Texas.

[Randy Blythe]

Keep them on their toes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Mess with Texas. I think. I think mess with Texas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let them. How about instead of don't mess with Texas. All podcasts move there. That is nuts.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that is nuts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The 80s were really great. They really were they?

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, come on. Come on.

[Randy Blythe]

I thought they were kind of Megan. Horrifying. Like, decade and materialistic yeah, but it was before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was like, we've been. We hadn't paid the tab fully yet.

[Randy Blythe]

Day glow occurred first, then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Not good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

No, not. None of this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. Yeah, yeah, Right. Yeah, exactly.

[Randy Blythe]

Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I think that we're saying the same thing. What a decade. In a good way. Yeah, exactly. Well, did it. Was it in her bag?

[Randy Blythe]

Well.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we don't do Reagan impressions on this podcast.

[Randy Blythe]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

And Trump is retired because he's a fascist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I could.

[Dave Anthony]

You're done with Trump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't believe you're president. I can't believe that there was a time when I wasn't.

[Dave Anthony]

I would recommend not doing it because, like, literally in like, three weeks, people are gonna be like, it's not funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's an homage to the best president. Sir, if you're watching, which I hope you are, you're the best. Unbelievable.

[Dave Anthony]

I think you're a fat rapist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the express. The express viewpoints of Dave Anthony on this podcast are not shared by his co host who thinks you're unbeliev. Unbelievable.

[Dave Anthony]

People are gonna get mad at me because you could say you can make fan of Trump without saying he's fat. Let me just say something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

The entire Nazi mystique is based on hyper masculinity. So you actually do have to attack them for their physical state.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I also.

[Dave Anthony]

Sorry, but that's the truth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also think you're allowed to. You're allowed to physically shame the billionaire class and the fascist.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it's true. Like, if you don't want to attack the fascists for their physical state, then you're literally just giving them the masculine lane to do what they want with. So. No, I disagree. It's actually very stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Plus, I like my fascists a little chunky. Am I the only one who likes them?

[Dave Anthony]

A little bit of thickness on there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

The fruits of their labors.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I like it. I like the idea that he's got.

[Dave Anthony]

A train hidden in red tape. I know. It could be either one, couldn't it? You guys are not sure. Yeah, either one.

[Randy Blythe]

And is. Please tell me, is this in Richmond?

[Dave Anthony]

No, this is.

[Randy Blythe]

Damn it. I'm thinking out on Staples Mill Road, the Amtrak station. There's this just. Train just covered. Covered in red cellophane tape. Just like.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Everywhere. People coming. The. The. The. I forget what it is.

[Dave Anthony]

The train.

[Randy Blythe]

But there's a specific line to take it from New York to Richmond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Shut up. Leave him alone. Just quit saying train, train, train.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm getting like Rain man here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Train, Train man.

[Randy Blythe]

Train man tape.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Definitely 4:45.

[Dave Anthony]

This is @ a Moscow, Russia.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, of course it's red.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Soviet efforts to find a communist. Yes.

[Randy Blythe]

How could you read this?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Randy Blythe]

On this podcast with me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

You know he's a capitalist, a blue blooded American.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You like Reagan? Reagan. Your.

[Dave Anthony]

Your career.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Randy Bly high fiving of Reagan on a podcast. No change tickets.

[Dave Anthony]

Soviet efforts to find a missing freight train produced a lot of bureaucratic buck passing. But not the 28 ruble.

[Randy Blythe]

Passing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's better.

[Dave Anthony]

Prabhda complained yesterday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Passed the ruble.

[Dave Anthony]

So they can't find a 28 car train. That's a big train to lose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet an oligarch took it.

[Dave Anthony]

Not then. This is all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I thought they were starting.

[Dave Anthony]

No, not even close. A train consisting of 28 freight cars with crushed rock left the Tomasza Gorodowski factory.

[Randy Blythe]

Well done.

[Dave Anthony]

June 24, 1983. So this is two years ago. Soviet newspaper said it left, but it didn't arrive.

[Randy Blythe]

It did go through like Siberia.

[Dave Anthony]

This sounds like a movie.

[Randy Blythe]

Like the beauty. Bermuda Triangle in Russia.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Bermuda Bermuda Triangle Train situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Not come out of tunnel in Russia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Train lose you. I don't know. It's all right. I'll work. I'll have to keep going and I'll have a better one now.

[Randy Blythe]

You guys been to Russia?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. I want to go.

[Randy Blythe]

I don't know if you do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to go check it out. I just want to be like. I want to be like Fly on the wall.

[Dave Anthony]

The head of the factory in the Ukraine wrote the management of railways in Russia where the train was headed, as well as investigators in Moscow. I don't know what the fuck that sentence was. But the Russian Railways office responded by turning the problem over to the railway officials in Bilo, Russia, which in turn passed its right back to the rail office. So they're passing the buck. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where is the train?

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody knows. Eventually the problem ended up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is like the Malaysian plane.

[Dave Anthony]

The problem ended up at the central office in the Rail Ministry in Moscow. The staff of this section finally concluded that it was impossible to do anything since all the documents concerning shipments were kept for only one year and then destroyed. The newspaper article listing examples of bureaucratic squabbling among government agencies wondered how the railways could destroy documents each year. So this train just. They don't know what happened to the train. And this two years later. And they're like, no one knows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoever got it. It's a great story.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean it Doesn't. Didn't. It didn't vanish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. There's some people, like.

[Dave Anthony]

Then we're talking, like, that's an episode of Scooby do, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And we don't have that here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His name is D. Scooby. Much different here. And instead they never. They never solve mystery.

[Dave Anthony]

What's his name?

[Gareth Reynolds]

D. Scooby. And Shaggy, he just, like. He had a bit of vodka head. And then you got scrappy. D. And they don't drive mystery van.

[Dave Anthony]

What do they drive?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mule. Mystery mule. And they ride him everywhere to squares and whatnot. And instead of ripping mask off at the end, they take at face value who guy is. Guy. Is he in Russia? You run train on yourself? Come on.

[Randy Blythe]

It's killer Russia, man.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a family show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was.

[Randy Blythe]

Dude, the first time we played Russia.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God, don't tell me there's a train stuff Running a train.

[Randy Blythe]

No, it's just we had been. I can't remember.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What year is this?

[Randy Blythe]

I don't even remember roughly. We've been sometime in the, like, 2010, I guess. But we had been on tour and we flew and it took like, 24 hours to get to Russia. And we landed in Moscow and It was like 7 in the morning, and it was rainy and grim. And they're like, okay, now we go to radio station to do.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like, stand up.

[Randy Blythe]

And we were like, no. No, we do not. Yeah, we go to sleep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And they're like, no. And like, the promoter and our, like, manager at the time, because it's like, what the Are you guys doing? We're like, we're going to. But he's like, go do the interviews. We're like, you. We weren't picking it up. Like, the promoters there, the old mob, right? They were not stoked, you know. Luckily, they let slide. Then we went back and played St. Pete and. And Moscow again. And two of our crew guys, our lighting guy, for some reason, the visa got fucked up for our lighting guy, and they let him into the country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, shit.

[Randy Blythe]

And we're at the hotel, and then the police, Russian police come and bring this thing, and they're like, you have to leave Russia within 24 hours or we will take you to prison where you will remain for at least two weeks before we'll deport you. I don't. I don't know why that was the thing. You got to get put in prison for two weeks before you get kicked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out, but their way.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, but it was like. We were like, oh. So we had to buy Our lighting guy a ticket, you know, and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you do morning radio. Yeah, morning radio. Or a lighting guy go to jail.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, you do morning zoo. You spend weeks.

[Randy Blythe]

Welcome to Borski and the bear. I went to the Kremlin in, like, I mean, it was cool and shit. I walked around, but then I was. When I still drank and I did. I bought some. One of those nesting dolls, the babushkas. You bring them home. And then I decided I wanted to try vodka while I was in Russia. So I went to this, like, by myself, kind of working class bar, which is the type of place where I would go drink. And I just sat in there and I ordered some vodka and I realized that everybody was just staring at me and I just took a couple of shots. I was like, I think I should leave.

[Dave Anthony]

You have the long hair.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

So I think. I think maybe I should leave.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

So I think you guys should go do. I'm down a dollop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm still down. Like, we get. We have to, like, have it. It's all redacted. Yeah, it's like two minutes. Dave's like, January, not sure. 18. Never mind.

[Randy Blythe]

Putin would love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Pooty's a. Pooty's a big fan. He's a big fan.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth. The pastimes is brought to you by factor factor meal situation. Chef made gourmet meals, super easy to make. Come right to your house. You cook them up in like two minutes. And then you're sitting down eating, and you're like, how did this happen? This is incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe there to be a genie chef inside of each factor meal. Whose there as a guardian to help you prepare it.

[Dave Anthony]

I wish I could counter that, but I can't. It sounds totally right on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's grounded in reality.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Factor arrives fresh, fully prepared, perfect for anybody, any active lifestyle, non active lifestyle, whatever. You got it. Factor factors ready for you. You can lose weight, lose 8 pounds in 8 weeks with factor keto. They got a bunch of different things you can do, like calorie smart and protein plus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the keto to my heart, is some great vegetarian options. And boy, howdy, do they have it. I have the chipotle spiced potato and pepper ball. And Dave, let me tell you, that's how you live. That's life.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, yeah, I mean, I. I didn't even cook it. I. I eyed that one. I. I did the Baja shrimp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting. Oh, interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

I had like a cauliflower, rice, broccoli, the little lime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll be Honest, I'm uncomfortable with how much you're reveling in it. I told you what I had and said it was good but like kind of noises.

[Dave Anthony]

I more had the food make love to me. I don't know what you did, but that's, that's what I thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The genie who came in the meal.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, well, so we eat differently. They also can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies and breakfast and grab and go snacks and more items. You've done the smoothies, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I have. Took them on the road with me last time I went on the road.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there you go. So Gareth loves them. So eat smart with Factor. Get started@Factor Meals.com Factor Podcast and use code Factor Podcast to get 50% off your first box. Plus 50%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's 50%.

[Dave Anthony]

50% off your first box. 50 shipping. That's fat. That's Code Factor Podcast@Factor Meals.com Factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Which one of us was watching a video, man?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This woman. This woman. She opened a Pepsi and it went all over her. I mean, all over her.

[Dave Anthony]

That's fine. Factor the dollop is brought to you by hilarious stand up Comedy now on Hulu. Hey, everybody, you know Hulu, right? Yes, it's the streaming service Hulu. What other Hulu is there? Well, Hulu has a bunch of new stand up specials that are not just funny, they're hoolarious because they're Hulu and the specials are hilarious. I get it. You get it, right? Yeah, very funny, Hulu. Anyway, they're launching new exclusive stand up specials from awesome comedians like Jim you Afigin, Ulayna glazier, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr, Chris Destefano, Jessica Kirson and tons more. A new stand up special drops every month, so mark your streaming calendar. Plus Hulu has a huge library of stand up specials to check out. So if you're ready to laugh your face off and find out what's really hilarious, go to Hulu and get your stand up fix. Now. A bird in the car is worth hitching rides to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

What I think they're trying to do, Burn in hand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two in the book. I think they failed the bird in hand.

[Dave Anthony]

This is out of Pensacola, Florida. Andrew Alif has had to resort to hitching rides because his car is for the birds. Got another one in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not happening.

[Randy Blythe]

So that's really just not a story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so far.

[Dave Anthony]

So far.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So far it's a. It's a Terrible.

[Randy Blythe]

It sounds like his car broke down and you need to hitch.

[Dave Anthony]

Alif gave up using his car May 24 after he found that a bird believed to be a sparrow had built a nest and laid eggs in his open club.

[Randy Blythe]

Sparrow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is a very mighty python. While you've got sparrows in your motor.

[Randy Blythe]

I sure wasn't a robin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's just sparrows in your motor.

[Dave Anthony]

You're talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The bird. Quiet.

[Dave Anthony]

And laid eggs in his open glove compartment. This is a gift he had. What? The window was open, right? Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I don't know.

[Randy Blythe]

Where is 5?

[Dave Anthony]

This is in Florida.

[Randy Blythe]

Nothing ever happens in Richmond.

[Dave Anthony]

No, we're not. No one's. No one. Yeah. No one's doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just from now on, every story is in. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is Richmond.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I just didn't have the heart to put them. I just didn't have the part to put them out. She can have my car as long as she wants it. He said, I love this. In the meantime, Alif said his wife Jackie, is driving him to his job. And I love their car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy gave his car up to.

[Randy Blythe]

Birds, to a bird nest, because it's.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just gonna be a nightmare when he gets back in it. It's gonna.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he's not. No.

[Randy Blythe]

You're done with these everywhere. Sparrow's over.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, his car is over. I don't think he realized that, though. I think he thinks it's. It's alone. Like, he's like. He's like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, I'll come back.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a sparrow. Hurts.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what he thinks he is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But he's gonna go back and be.

[Randy Blythe]

Like, what state was this in? Oh, Florida. Oh, of course.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that was weird. Man cleans up after dogs so owners don't have to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Maplewood, Minnesota, a man cleans up dogs pooping.

[Randy Blythe]

And this was in the Richmond Times Dispatch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. All right.

[Randy Blythe]

I think things have at least gotten a little better with that paper since then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe you want Richmond stuff, so. I bet it all.

[Dave Anthony]

I know he doesn't want. Yeah, it's gotta be something. Armed with a rake and a fishnet line.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. I know how you don't clean up dog shit. Rake and fishnet. Hey, it's everywhere.

[Randy Blythe]

Just throw it out.

[Dave Anthony]

Armed with a rake and a fishnet, lined with a garbage bag. But why do you have the fishnet?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was this before we had the bag in hand? Technology.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think we had dog poop bags back then.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm Seeing him throwing it, like using the net as a cast net. You know what a cast net is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, like a. Yeah, I can.

[Randy Blythe]

You throw them for bait. You can get them really big. We catch shrimp with them sometimes. And he's got it like a plastic line thing and there's weights all the way around it. So he takes it and he's like. And huge, like 12 foot. Let him cook like net with plastic lands. And then when you pull. Yeah, just like when you throw it in the water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

It closes up and it's like the weights keep it on the ground and it's scooping a whole yard full of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then when he like empties it, there's still an octopus somehow in it.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like. Ah, come on.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, Randy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

You're a lunatic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, you watch yourself.

[Dave Anthony]

What is the rake for in this?

[Randy Blythe]

To pick up any. Any strays they you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he clearly knew about plastic.

[Dave Anthony]

Doug Thompson is an entrepreneur in what most people would call a dirty business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'm a shipman.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm a netter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My dad was a netter. I'm a shit netter.

[Dave Anthony]

I want to get into a business where it's just a constant flow of product. Like it never stops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'll tell you the future dog. You want to. You want a future oil property dog.

[Dave Anthony]

He makes money cleaning up the yards of dog owners or non owners who find evidence that they had unwanted visitors.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it could be their dog. It could be a nobody, nobody knows dog. But you go out there, you net up that you're talking.

[Randy Blythe]

Does he go door to door? Be like, you see any dog in the yard?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's throwing dog in some.

[Randy Blythe]

Pick it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's picking up dog from people's yards and then throwing it in others. What did you check?

[Randy Blythe]

I got my rake.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. He's 34. So this is. This is. You're way too old. Is this something that a teenager might do to make some extra money back then? But 34, like, no, I think it's too late to be in the dog shit business.

[Randy Blythe]

It is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, you guys didn't want to celebrate the 80s, but then you're hearing about entrepreneurial spirit like this. This is the backbone of the American economy.

[Dave Anthony]

What, talking to the sharks? Okay, so I got a fish net.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I just throw a bunch of dog shit on the floor. How many times does this happen to you? Sharks. Is that actual dog shit? It's human shit. I couldn't find a dog, but pretend it's from a dog. Leave.

[Randy Blythe]

Hold on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me tell by my margins, I.

[Dave Anthony]

Want 10% of done closed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't wait to work with you, Mr. Cuban. I'm Mr. Wonderful. Whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

Thompson, 34, recently distributed more than 6,000 flyers advertising his pet mess pickup service.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. At last.

[Dave Anthony]

A service designed to give busy people a little more time the for relaxation without worrying about this thankless chore. The flyers are thankless chore.

[Randy Blythe]

At last.

[Dave Anthony]

So far, he and his sister Diane. Sister Darcy, 40.

[Gareth Reynolds]

40.

[Dave Anthony]

She got into the dog ship business as 40.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, dude, when your calling happens, you.

[Dave Anthony]

Go have six customers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why are they in a paper?

[Randy Blythe]

Six customers, 6,000 flyers, six customers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're in the whole 100 grand?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I have six customers and have inquiries from 30 other people. Hey, what the are you guys doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're picking up dog. Are you interested?

[Randy Blythe]

What's the net for?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Check your yard. Yeah, we got a big net and we're loving the shit.

[Dave Anthony]

I guess my only inquiry is how old are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm 34, but don't worry, my sister's 40. We're crushing it out here. We got a net, a rake, and the shit gets everywhere when we're done. That's our slogan. The shit'll be everywhere. Never seen it be netted before.

[Randy Blythe]

At last.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Finally.

[Randy Blythe]

Finally.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus. So far, okay. Six customers, 30 other people. He charges $10 a month for stopping. Buy a one dog yard once a week. A two dog yard 17 and a three dog yard is 23. I love animals, so it doesn't bother me. Well, you're not actually working with animals, just so you know. You're working with. I love animals. There's nothing about animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's got a bone.

[Dave Anthony]

Plus, I've got a lot of ambition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He does. Yes, he does.

[Dave Anthony]

But in the wrong direction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he doesn't. This is a good legit, I, I.

[Dave Anthony]

Guess I, this is a service. I could see. I was gonna say someone building an app for. I was, hey, I got in my yard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Bing. And the guy comes over crying and picks it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I, I, there's a buck.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, I would, I would like that. That wouldn't be like, I don't mind going out and doing it, but it wouldn't be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You love it.

[Dave Anthony]

You said, yeah, I'll do it with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mouth, find peace.

[Dave Anthony]

But I guess for some people it would be a great service because it would be dogs and you don't want to deal with the. Because the is the worst part.

[Randy Blythe]

How much dog?

[Dave Anthony]

A lot.

[Randy Blythe]

But like a lot if you stay on top of the. It's not like it's like, oh, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is.

[Randy Blythe]

Okay. It's a gargantuan pile of Clifford lives there.

[Dave Anthony]

You get away from me. Like if you're. If you're sick or you're a slack motherfucker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You sick, though.

[Dave Anthony]

I get sick once every two weeks. I get it. I get pneumonia. I've had pneumonia seven times this year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They've had pneumonia.

[Randy Blythe]

Can we talk about this? Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cats. Cats, way better.

[Randy Blythe]

They in a box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way better.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, one area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way better.

[Randy Blythe]

Scoop it once a day, by the way, or you get the robot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just gonna get the. If you don't have the litter robot. Get the gun.

[Randy Blythe]

You back it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm back. I'm opposed to all AI, but the litter robot is a absolute game changer. It is the best. I can't.

[Dave Anthony]

What's the code?

[Randy Blythe]

Promo code.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Promo code. Promo code. Jose poop.

[Dave Anthony]

You did a promo code on our past episodes. But I'm wondering.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm wondering if Lydia would like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love it.

[Randy Blythe]

She's scared of everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It they get. Listen, there's Jose. At first they're like, is this a ufo? And then very quickly, they're in. They're gonna use it. And then your life is easier. Way easier. Litter robot.

[Dave Anthony]

Anyway, I'm gonna try to teach my dog Pablo to go out on a surfboard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know if that's connected.

[Randy Blythe]

What type of dog is it?

[Dave Anthony]

It is a labradoodle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a Swayze.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, he's one of those little ones.

[Dave Anthony]

He loves the water. And I do have an 11 foot board.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So who's gonna clean up the dog poop from the ocean? That's the question.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody.

[Randy Blythe]

Does he have a little life jacket?

[Dave Anthony]

I'll get him one.

[Randy Blythe]

You got to get one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Some of them like it. Yeah. They love surfing. Some of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would love to get out there on your 11 footer with you.

[Dave Anthony]

I. I tried to get you out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to be on your board.

[Dave Anthony]

I've tried to get you out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to be on your board.

[Dave Anthony]

You won't do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to be in a Bjorn on your chest while we do it.

[Dave Anthony]

El Paso supports right not to wear coat and tie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

It's hot in El Paso.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Wearing a tie or a coat in El Paso's hot summer sun could get people in trouble with Mayor Jonathan Rogers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Imagine a city with a dress code.

[Dave Anthony]

Who has more or less banned them both until Labor Day. Into it, Rogers has proclaimed quote, that the coatless and tie a season shall be effective immediately. And that the mayor or any members of council may inform. Course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

This proclamation with all immunity that pertains to their office by cutting off any and all ties worn at any and all occasions. Formal and informal.

[Randy Blythe]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Into it.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, Texas, just relax and just do something. Just say, yeah, that's.

[Randy Blythe]

That's where the Alamo is, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, That's. That. That your. Your. Your anger is directed at them because you feel like it's just more.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, just. Just saying, hey, you're not going to be like, we're going to cut off your tie. Just go, yeah, you guys don't have to wear ties.

[Randy Blythe]

And our drum tech is from Texas.

[Dave Anthony]

Right This.

[Randy Blythe]

And he makes, like, funny T shirts. And. And I told him I. I wanted to make him a T shirt. I had a design I wanted him to make, and it just says, welcome to Texas. We'll kill you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And a little more straightforward.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I was in Texas, I went into this. I wore a mask into this convenience store. And this guy goes, whoa. And I go. And he goes, why are you wearing that? And I go. I go, I have Covid. Which I didn't. But I go, I have Covid. And he goes, kovitz fake. And I was like, well, this guy. This guy wins. I was like, this conversation's over. Very effective.

[Dave Anthony]

I love to wear a mask in an elevator in a hotel. And the elevator opens up and I just look at people. I go, I think I have Covid. And they go, oh, they all stay on the elevator.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do the fake cough.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, this is sad. Staff. Sad as Stroh's shuts down oldest brewery.

[Randy Blythe]

Stroh's Brewery, Richmond.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, Detroit. Damn it. I don't know. I can't find one store story.

[Randy Blythe]

Nothing ever happened in Richmond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop it. Now you're getting. You're getting. All right, there we go.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm trying to find back this truth.

[Randy Blythe]

Like, there's lots of great stories from.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do us a favor. This is our producer Burns, who. Who probably looked up most. Look in the camera and just tell him to go himself.

[Dave Anthony]

Go yourself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go.

[Dave Anthony]

He did pick another Richmond paper from the 1800s, but there was nothing good in it. This is better to the whole thing. San employees left Stroh's flagship brewery for the last time Friday, ending the family owned company's 135 years of making beer in Detroit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is when, like, if a family business closed, we were like, wow, this is newsworthy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As Opposed to now. And like now it's an Amazon store.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like we're going to a funeral, said Helen Sienkowski, who worked as a microbiologist at the plant for four years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know if I need a microbiologist in my beer.

[Dave Anthony]

Work will always be there, but not like it was at stroh's. Stroz Brewery Co. The nation's third largest beer maker, announced in February that it would close its 71 year old brewery on the eastern edge of downtown Detroit, saying it was the least efficient of its seven plants. And then Stroh's would just slit its own throat. It's one of the. I have to do that as a Strohs.

[Randy Blythe]

Stroz.

[Dave Anthony]

Strohs. I have to do that as a podcast sometime because they, they. They were the number one beer in America and they killed themselves. It's the crazy.

[Randy Blythe]

Did you ever do stuff about the Coors? I can't remember if. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, one of the guys from Coors killed himself in Virginia Beach.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Randy Blythe]

At a fancy hotel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Really?

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did he drink his own beer?

[Randy Blythe]

No, he jumped out the window.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so you drink.

[Dave Anthony]

Did he yell Kors on the way down?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course I did.

[Randy Blythe]

Head for the Rockies. It's pretty famous hotel. Like Fitzgerald has stayed there Ming way.

[Dave Anthony]

And other people didn't make it. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe it's the hotel. Yeah, it's like the Shining.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a column. So this is a local column, I guess. Bob Green.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, good old My name Bobby Green.

[Dave Anthony]

Phone in sky is high Living. As soon as I stepped onto the airplane, I knew I was in big trouble. There on the wall of the plane, right next to the restroom was assigned public telephone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no. Right near the.

[Randy Blythe]

On a plane. Did they have these?

[Gareth Reynolds]

They did, yeah. They had plane. They had phones on planes.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you remember phones on planes. Right. Where you could.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You, like, swipe your car?

[Dave Anthony]

You could swipe a car. It was in the seat and you could swipe a car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Diane, I'll be landing at five Life, but this is. I have a grenade in my handbag.

[Dave Anthony]

This is when there was just one phone on the plane.

[Randy Blythe]

Dude, it's it. I remember smoking on the plane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

That was great.

[Dave Anthony]

Horrifying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, I never.

[Randy Blythe]

You bring them back.

[Dave Anthony]

I know the war.

[Randy Blythe]

Bring it back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Smoke?

[Randy Blythe]

Not anymore. I'm from Richland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I only smell.

[Randy Blythe]

Dude. We. I smoke Marlboro Reds for years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, I never got to know if.

[Randy Blythe]

We had smoking on planes. These. These children running around being Animals and jumping in my lap and wanting to play with my iPad. It'd be over because I just hand him a Marlboro.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am. I'm very on board with this.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you?

[Randy Blythe]

I'd be like, have a Marlboro. And the child would smoke and it would calm down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you just put it out on the kid's hand. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Give your kid a Benadryl, get him on the plane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can't blow dart them.

[Randy Blythe]

So there's this one. So there was a pub, public phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Near the shitter.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, near the shitter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just right where you'd want it to be. Some guy's taking a huge crap in there.

[Dave Anthony]

I've been aware that payphones were about to come to the nation's airlines. Stories about the predicted advent of airborne phones have been appearing in papers for several years. Okay, so here on a Republic Airline flight between Detroit and Los Angeles, the pay phone is real. I felt myself begin to perspire. My pulse quickened. I am addicted to telephones Day and night. I am on the phone more than any person I know. If I see a phone just sitting there, I pick it up and I make a call.

[Randy Blythe]

What are you wearing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Super weird compulsion.

[Dave Anthony]

The airplane telephones are designed to be billed directly to your personal credit card, American Express, Visa, whatever. You put your card in a slot in the console and you remove the wireless receiver and you take the receiver back to your seat and you make calls. Wait, what? So there's a phone up there and. Because later on they would put him in the back of the seat.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, I vaguely.

[Dave Anthony]

Now you go and you get it from up there and then you bring the receiver back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The receiver. So it's like a walkie talkie kind of deal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's not. Doesn't have a cord.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Cause I think they had. I believe by 85, they had phones in your house that had the antenna. And you. You had like an antenna, maybe.

[Randy Blythe]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The cordless.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what we're talking about.

[Randy Blythe]

The cordless.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Flexible. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you. Yeah, no, you're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You didn't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, the cordless. Gareth. Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't care for your attitude.

[Dave Anthony]

It's funny. That's it.

[Randy Blythe]

So he. This person is perspiring, thinking about the phone.

[Dave Anthony]

He says, you get your bill a month later. Rates are 750 for the first three minutes, regardless of where you are calling in the U.S. ludicrous. And 125 for each additional minute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's like.

[Randy Blythe]

Remember, like the long distance bill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, My God, the long distance bill was crazy, Crazy when I had one of the first early cell phones. So it wasn't just like, you can call wherever. So you would, when you're traveling, it would, it would like put you through all these different phone companies. So you would get a bill like for having used nine phone companies on one call.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, right.

[Dave Anthony]

Hammer you, you'd be like. And I remember I got like a 7 or 800 phone bill once because I was traveling and making phone calls.

[Randy Blythe]

So this, this whole thing with the one phone in the back by the shitter. Right. That's where it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

The statute of limitations has got to be up on this. But it reminds me, I do. Do you know that the, the phones, they're, they're back there where the, the airline attendants, the stewardesses or whatever, they pick them up and talk to like, the ground. Yes. We were, we came back from Europe. This was several years ago. I, I know it was at least 10 years ago because I'm not going to say his name. I won't say our guitar player Willie Adler's name. But he, we were coming back and he was shitfaced. And we were coming into dc, right? And he, he picks up the phone that the, the, the, the stewardesses talked to on and somehow he figured out to press which button so that would go over the intercom.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Randy Blythe]

So he was like. We were. It was a little bit bumpy. And then you just hear him. I saw him do it. And you hear over the intercom. Oh, boy. What the was that? We're coming in and still bumping a little bit, A little bit bummer. And he's like, oh, boy, oh boy. The whole plane was like freaking. We were dying, laughing, dying. It was so much. Oh, boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'S so great to imagine. Pilots still miked up in there also.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, he used to do crazy. I mean, I used to do. We landed in Heathrow and he stole one of those, like, high vis like vests.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Randy Blythe]

Our bus was pulled up, up in the front to load up and he just started directing traffic at Heathrow like Trump.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. Like back when you could still do that. He's just like, right over here. Yeah. Just pointing people to go different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Drunk.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Drunk as. While we were like, waiting for the rest of the crew.

[Dave Anthony]

The only way to do it.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. So good, good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great. It's great to have someone in the band who lands hammered in his good bit.

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, dude, that's helpful. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

We Were in the. In the air more. Another five minutes when I made my first call. Five minutes. First call. I put my credit card in the slot and took the phone back to my seat. It was amazing. I spoke with colleagues at the newspaper. Zooming through the airs at eight miles a minute. Eight miles a minute and the connection clear as can be. I made a brief conversation, hung up. Within minutes though, I was hurrying back up the aisle to grab the phone again.

[Randy Blythe]

I made the score.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guess where I'm calling from.

[Randy Blythe]

I need to talk.

[Dave Anthony]

Honestly, I down the number, had another great conversation. I found that I couldn't stop. Every time I went back to put the phone back, I thought about another excuse to call someone.

[Randy Blythe]

He just like, call it Taco Bell. Are you guys open? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really is like one of the. It's like, I'm the gadget guy guys. But it's like in reality, if you were next to this guy, I'd be like, sir?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna break your hand for your own good. For everyone's good.

[Dave Anthony]

I tried to stop. I really did. I knew it was becoming expensive, but I could not let the phone stay in the resting place.

[Randy Blythe]

This guy is just pre. Is it a man? A woman?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a dude. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

He's. He's. And predicting the future. He is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I keep thinking of.

[Randy Blythe]

He's predicting the future.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I also, there's something now where they're like toying with the idea of you being allowed to do zooms or face or fucking phone calls.

[Randy Blythe]

Do not do that on a plane with me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Dave Anthony]

They're going to ruin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because people completely agree.

[Randy Blythe]

It's going to be.

[Dave Anthony]

They'll do horrifying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They will. And it'll be. It's already hell.

[Randy Blythe]

It is. But it's like people have zero manners.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there are times where, like there will be someone talking on the plane now. And you're just like, are you doing.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. What are you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, what are you do. This is a shared. It's.

[Dave Anthony]

It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of the actual redeeming factors about flying is that the phones are kind of more docile than regular society.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes. Yes. Because they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There is one of the few things that's good about flying.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, it's. It's. Oh, it drives me nuts, dude. Nuts. It's like, I don't need to hear the details of your business meeting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's always appointment.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's always the big businessman, like, shut the up. Did Gabe send that over? Have Kathy resend The link. And then let's get into that around 12:45, if I can.

[Randy Blythe]

And I'm feeling the urge to throttle you right now because I know that guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Shut up. Shut up.

[Randy Blythe]

No, it can't happen. You know what if it does? Randy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

A. Ooh, Air. Randy is good.

[Randy Blythe]

Smoking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Smoking. No kids.

[Randy Blythe]

No kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Phones in the phones.

[Randy Blythe]

No phones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The. The open access to the intercom.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes. Oh, boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy.

[Dave Anthony]

Finally, flight. Finally, the flight attendant announced that we were beginning our descent into Los Angeles. And I returned the phone to its console. I hope you don't mind me saying this, said the man in the seat behind me who had been watching this for the entire flight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but there are hospitals for people like you. I quickly tried to figure out how much the calls had cost me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so much.

[Dave Anthony]

As close as I could determine on the flight between Detroit and Los Angeles, I had made close to $200 dollars. And Jesus Christ in 80500 bucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this guy's trying to do the thing where he's like, I'm like part of the few. It's like, you are such a prick.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. As awful as that is, every time.

[Randy Blythe]

He'S a Richmonder.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a local Richmond. He's Bob Green.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bob Green.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm gonna find you Bob Green again.

[Dave Anthony]

He's probably dead. As awful as that is.

[Randy Blythe]

We're broke, homeless. Oh, this is how all his money on phone calls.

[Dave Anthony]

The excuse. As awful as it is, the bill very well could have been as much as 300. It wasn't. And in my next column, I will tell you why. A hint. It has to do with pilots. Oh, what? So he could have spent more, but he didn't. So the pilots must have also been making phone calls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't understand. By the way. Nobody's clamoring from column two.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Randy Blythe]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's it. That's her.

[Dave Anthony]

I think we did. That's a wrap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Aaron, do we go to time? Five zero five zero. Fifty.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, we're at 50.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, let's go. So that was Bob Green, who you will find and hurt.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

A nine year nine. This is local news. A nine year old horse with a heart condition that caused the animal to faint in his stall has returned to show competition after receiving a pacemaker designed for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy.

[Dave Anthony]

What for the horse dying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is way better. But it's also. Why not just let it. The treatment of horses. I guess it is the. The beauty is that the horse got a pacemaker. It does sound like heart condition. Does sound Like a derby horse.

[Dave Anthony]

Call me Bucky, believed to be the only horse in the world with a permanent pacemaker, failed to win a single ribbon at the Devon, Pennsylvania Horse Show Friday, but easily cleared the low jumps. So that's nice.

[Randy Blythe]

It's got a pacemaker.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a nice story. It's a. It's like a Dick Cheney horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why it shot its friend in the face.

[Dave Anthony]

Big Mac. Is there no Richmond stories?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got one, Bob Green?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't. Yeah, I guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Air. Piece of.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there's really no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mother got a car phone, like right when that tech was like huge. And called her mother in England on the car phone once for like. Yeah, Basically this call was like one minute long. We were like, I wonder how much. It was like 450.

[Randy Blythe]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's like, mom, I'm calling you from the car.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my gosh.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna forget the first time I was watching a TV show and Quincy had a phone and his fucking Quincy.

[Randy Blythe]

Quincy mobile.

[Dave Anthony]

Remember Quincy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

He had a phone in like a station. His.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like his car.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know what Quincy was? It was a coroner who solved crimes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What coroner who solve crimes. So what, he get the body and then be like, let's figure this out.

[Randy Blythe]

Let's reverse engineer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I never.

[Dave Anthony]

I never came to understand why the coroner was doing the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He probably wasn't supposed to. They're like, jesus Christ, Quincy just put the formalda Hyde inside of the people. He was like, but who was she?

[Randy Blythe]

Who?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You ever wonder who she. Quincy, stop.

[Dave Anthony]

But that was on for a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it a write off if I put a car. A phone in my car? Car. He's a coroner.

[Dave Anthony]

Jack Klugman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I know. Cl. Yeah, I don't know. I don't.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, he had a. He had a. The coroner station wagon and he had. Which he had the cord.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would have been great to do the odd couple as coroners.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've got blood everywhere.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He's just throwing brains on the wall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Polluted caves foul some homes, comma schools.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Randy Blythe]

Polluted cave.

[Dave Anthony]

This is out of Bowling Green, Kentucky. Of course it's fucking Bowling Green.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you thoughts on Bowling Green? You've been there, I'm sure. We're not into it.

[Randy Blythe]

No, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was bad to spend like four days there. And we were like, this town is bad.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just franchises.

[Randy Blythe]

You guys went to Bowling Green?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We had like four days off and.

[Dave Anthony]

We didn't know where to go. And the cheapest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we were like, let's just go.

[Dave Anthony]

Where it's cheap, decent hotel was in Bowling Green. And that's why. Because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we just, like every day we were like, tonight we're not doing Chipotle. And then we'd be like, do you.

[Randy Blythe]

Know what we like to do now when we're on tour on the day off? And this started in Florence, South Carolina. All you have to do is. Whatever town you're in is Google. Is X a good place to live?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Randy Blythe]

And you will get a huge, like, just this range of invective of people being like, no, this sucks. No, it's awesome. How could you ever, like. Yeah, you know, it's amazing. I highly recommend it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then does that determine if you're gonna do a day off there or not? Or you just.

[Randy Blythe]

No, no, no, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're there.

[Randy Blythe]

I. I just like to know what.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you see what everybody feels about it?

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

On a day off, do you do anything or do you just chill?

[Randy Blythe]

Oh, yeah. I always do something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

Dip. Well, I mean, if you're in Florence, South Carolina, there ain't much to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what we found in bowling.

[Randy Blythe]

It's very much like train stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That's what Bowling Green was. It was like the town of franchise fast food.

[Randy Blythe]

But there, apparently, there is a downtown Florence, South Carolina, which I did not make, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, I. We were furious.

[Randy Blythe]

But do that next time when you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Randy Blythe]

Is. Is this. Or is this safe? Take the town and Google it. Safe. You'll get hilarious. Like, some of you are like, it's fucking great. Some of you are like, oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would shout while riding this.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, exactly. It's.

[Dave Anthony]

Winding for miles. Beneath the streets of this Southern Kentucky city is the Lost River Cave. What a haven for bats, crayfish, and poison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bro, we were too busy on land.

[Dave Anthony]

You missed the last part. Bats, crayfish, and poison. Chemicals, bro.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We were wasting our time on land. This is how Batman started.

[Dave Anthony]

For generations, residents have used the area's underground stream as a natural sewer to flush away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A natural sewer is like, such an American turn of phrase. A natural sewer, natural spring, a trash hill.

[Dave Anthony]

Absolutely crazy idea.

[Randy Blythe]

Look, it's the Trash Forest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Welcome to. Welcome to the Trash Forest. Forest.

[Dave Anthony]

It just goes into the watery underground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, beautiful. Just as God intended.

[Dave Anthony]

Like gasoline and industrial solvents.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Now the sewer is backing up. And officials say the 40,000 residents are threatened by an environmental problem found nowhere else in the country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, this is the thing.

[Randy Blythe]

When underwater.

[Dave Anthony]

Underground, all the liquid Nightmares Bats. Yeah.

[Randy Blythe]

And crayfish raised in a environment of shit.

[Dave Anthony]

This is where CHUD came from.

[Randy Blythe]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now the. The thing is, it's like when you see stuff like East Palestine, like when the train derails and just the water like all these man made disasters that are ruining our ecosystems and stuff it like go back to this and you're like they were doing it. We should have been like these 40,000 people should have just killed an oil executive. But instead we were like, hope it doesn't come here.

[Dave Anthony]

The 40,000 people are the ones doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, well, but there's also gas being leaked.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it's mostly them dumping their own stuff into the natural sewer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I still believe that the natural sewer.

[Dave Anthony]

Goodbye gasoline into the watery grave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very much like. It's like Willy Wonka. Welcome to the natural sewer. Augustus. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Whatever we do here will end up in the textbook. Said Nick Crawford, a geologist at Western Kentucky University. He proud chemicals entering the cave.

[Randy Blythe]

We are going to prove that people are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gas is water.

[Dave Anthony]

Chemicals entering the cave stream apparently are being trapped underground where they generate toxic fumes that rise through crevices to the surface. So it's just poisonous gas coming up.

[Randy Blythe]

Probably explosive too, I would think.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The fumes have been found in about two dozen homes, an apartment building and two schools around Bowling Green. Green.

[Randy Blythe]

Why does the house smell like the natural sewer?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know, but I like it. That's nice.

[Dave Anthony]

It is the largest city in America built entirely atop a cave system.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the fuck that. First of all, that is.

[Randy Blythe]

That's why you guys did not have a good time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was. Yeah. That actually tracks very much for what we received.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Where tests show the fumes contain chemicals linked to cancer and several other human ills. Oh, the. The CDC called in to evaluate the health risk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the cdc?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's. And some we used to have. It's done reported that the chemicals pose no immediate threat. Oh, the CDC is doing its thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's fine. Go back to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Breathe deep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's fine.

[Dave Anthony]

But the agency issued a public health advisory to qualify the city for federal super fund cleanup Monday. Okay, this is classic cdc. So they come in to help so they can get superfood money to clean it up. But they're also like it's fine. Everybody just go about your day. We can't have people not working.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep going to work.

[Dave Anthony]

Keep buying. Keep buying. Kids in schools.

[Randy Blythe]

That's right. Consume, consume, consume.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a good.

[Dave Anthony]

The advisory was the first Involving health threat from chemical pollution.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Well, that's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

That's gonna happen a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That should be on like when you enter the city. Yeah, that should be on like the billboard as you enter the town Bowling Green. The first cancer induced town from fumes underground.

[Dave Anthony]

We really it up Bowling Green. Although. Although we did not feel like the chemical levels were high enough to have harmed anybody so far. It's certainly conditioned. We don't have to continue since Jeffrey works Lindberger of the cdc. That's not how it works. Well, no one's come. No one's vomiting blood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No one has cancer from that.

[Randy Blythe]

Children with the third arm growing out the forehand Y by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now it's like people are like, my nose is bleeding, my water's brown. And we're like shut. Shut the up. Shut up. It's fine. Just boil it.

[Dave Anthony]

An environmental health officer with the Warren county health department says about half a dozen of the affected residents have complained of symptoms including headaches, watering of the eyes, burning of the nose and throat. Remember when the CD said that no one's a. No one's. There's been really no one harmed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But even when you read that nobody has been read it close.

[Dave Anthony]

The symptoms usually go away after the area is ventilated. Well, when we blow open the winder.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There'S more coming in from the winder. Close the winder then.

[Dave Anthony]

A more direct threat than the chemicals is the danger of an explosion posed by the concentration of gasoline in the fumes.

[Randy Blythe]

Told ya, told you, told you. It's going to be explosive underground crayfish grenades.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know how that ended up in my handbag. I was just trying to go through security.

[Dave Anthony]

Gasoline levels found in several homes have approached to the point of explosiveness.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Congratulations, ma'am. Your house is legally explosive gas wise.

[Dave Anthony]

He also noted that Bowling Green has a history of mysterious house explosions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe. What? Oh, put on some spooky music and turn the lights off. I'm gonna put a flashlight under my chin and tell you one about the Bowling Green bombers.

[Randy Blythe]

Let me light a candle real quick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, damn it, this place stinks. Light a candle, damn it.

[Dave Anthony]

Jimmy's house blew up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We know there's been a lot of that going around. And I blame ghosts.

[Randy Blythe]

Jesus.

[Dave Anthony]

Two homes blew up in 1969.

[Gareth Reynolds]

With one blowing up homes and we're like, it should be fine.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

With one knocking three nearby homes off their foundations.

[Randy Blythe]

Explode known.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's been going around. There's a bunch of that going around.

[Dave Anthony]

Neighborhood the day of a Fatal blast. Residents said several homes reported smelling gas, but no one made the connection. Crawford says Quincy's there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I don't know. I don't know what it. I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

You smell gas and then a house blows up. But who knows what the fuck happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm going to see if the mayor will give me a phone in the car.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1981, residents of five houses in a nearby subdivision were evacuated temporarily while officials ventilated their homes of gas fumes. Me that. But it was not until late 1983 that the fume problem became widespread. This time, residents were complaining of something that smelled like solvents, not gasoline.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is definitely not. Not, this is not made by the people. This is definitely.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it's both.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

There's definitely industrial solvents.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Makes me think, yeah, there's no way.

[Dave Anthony]

This is just people dumping in.

[Randy Blythe]

This is some sort of industrial pollution.

[Dave Anthony]

George diamond remembers the day the fumes reached his house. I was working on in my shop in the basement and smelled something like paint thinner that made my eyes water and burned my nose. It got worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then my house exploded.

[Dave Anthony]

The gases gradually filled up the house and refused to go away. Go away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a gas exorcist.

[Dave Anthony]

I would have to sleep with two handkerchiefs under my pillow to stop my eyes from running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy.

[Randy Blythe]

Wait, I don't understand the logic behind that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm hoping, I'm hoping the allergy fairy comes.

[Randy Blythe]

Two hankies under the bed pillow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the. Oh, man.

[Dave Anthony]

Are your eyes running? Put two handkerchiefs underneath.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did, but they have been running still.

[Dave Anthony]

Diamond says officials from the gas company and fire department visit his house.

[Randy Blythe]

Nothing to see here.

[Dave Anthony]

Repeatedly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you put handkerchiefs under your pillow?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yes, sir. Before they discovered a crevice along the basement wall wall where caves fumes were entering the house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I don't know if calling it cave fumes.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, what you got here is cave fumes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've developed a butthole on your wall from the cave colon. Cave fumes said, no one ever can.

[Randy Blythe]

You imagine finding that out there. You're living in this.

[Dave Anthony]

You're living there. You're living in a poison house.

[Randy Blythe]

And you're just like, I'm a poison house that is on the verge of exploding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then they're like, the problem is cave fumes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. As God intended, officials ran a plastic pipe from the crevice to his roof where a fan was connected to draw the fumes up and away from the house.

[Randy Blythe]

We're just going to vent this boys.

[Dave Anthony]

We got to solve.

[Randy Blythe]

We're going to vent the cave fumes out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Solution. We've created a tail pop for your home. That's how we'll handle. We gave you a roof muffler, catalytic converter.

[Dave Anthony]

It worked. Diamond's wood shop smells like sawdust again. But he is concerned that the effects of.

[Randy Blythe]

That he might explode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That it's just gotta.

[Randy Blythe]

There's sawdust everywhere fumes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I'll be honest. The fact that that even happened has always sat with me. A little improper.

[Dave Anthony]

I feel there's some permanent damage to my upper respiratory system.

[Randy Blythe]

Hey.

[Dave Anthony]

Similar vans have been installed in two elementary schools where fumes are found.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

God damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is so infuriating, dude. It's so always going on.

[Dave Anthony]

And now. And now all the rich, all the. The choppers and all these. They're like, let's get rid of that little. Let's just get rid of those little pipes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right, Right.

[Dave Anthony]

They can't have anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're wasting so much on little pipes.

[Dave Anthony]

This is what they want to get rid of. So school officials say five classrooms where the gas was detected will remain closed until the air is tested.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then what we hear is math scores have gone way down. What's wrong with the youth?

[Dave Anthony]

Officials are trying to figure out how to get the chemicals out of the caverns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. I know how.

[Dave Anthony]

It can take several months and cost at least $250,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they won't do that. They won't do that. That. That's a lot of money.

[Dave Anthony]

Scientists are studying the feasibility of using a huge fan to suck the fumes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are the dumbest. We are so. We are. We're like monkeys with cable. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

Apparently two separate cave systems are involved.

[Randy Blythe]

There's another one.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, so I want to read that. Let me read that CDC quote again. Just so we have it down. CDC called and evaluate the health risk. Reported that the chemicals pose no immediate threat. Well, but that's a quote. Health advisory.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. No, you can tell. Just writing the article. You can tell that there's no immediate threat.

[Randy Blythe]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

The CDC has always existed to keep people working. It is not to keep you healthy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's cool. And what a great note to end on.

[Randy Blythe]

We're all going to die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're all going to die. And just think of how much worse it's all gotten. Yeah, this was 85 or whatever.

[Randy Blythe]

I'm gonna go back to my poison house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Like a Bowling green. Yeah. Well, Randy, thank you for joining us.

[Randy Blythe]

Thanks for Giving me the cave fumes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're welcome. Feel good?

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah. Awesome. I feel like I'm gonna explode.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I'm gonna explode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, cool. You guys are awesome. Well, go to randybligh.net.net Some guys had the dot com.

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah, no, no, I. I got it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did?

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You just stuck with the dot net.

[Randy Blythe]

Well, it was built as dot net and then someone else had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does it reroute?

[Randy Blythe]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you notice what happened with the sign behind Randy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Randy Blythe]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Swapped it from Burr Burr. Thank you, Randy. And screw you, Dave. Yes, and thank you, Aaron.

[Randy Blythe]

And I'd just like to say one more time, we're all gonna die. Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. There you go. There's the headline. Gobble gobble. Hey, dollop fans. I know you love the dollop. You love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. What? Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five parter animation, which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode, I can't remember, of the rube, you can go to LakeSide Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the rube. It. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the rube.