117 - The Past Times with Lee Camp

Summary

Summary of "The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds" - Episode 117: The Past Times with Lee Camp

Release Date: March 24, 2025

Hosts & Guest:

• Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds, creators of The Dollop podcast.
• Lee Camp, comedian and host of Unredacted Tonight, joins as a special guest.

---

Introduction & Guest Welcome

The episode kicks off with Dave Anthony promoting Hulu's stand-up comedy specials before transitioning to the main content. Gareth Reynolds warmly welcomes Lee Camp to the show, highlighting Lee's independent venture, Unredacted Tonight. The hosts engage in light-hearted banter about Lee's new show, addressing his challenges with YouTube's platform policies.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds [00:58]: "I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Lee Camp."

---

Guessing the Newspaper Year

As per the show's format, the hosts attempt to guess the year of the featured newspaper. Lee initially offers a humorous and imprecise guess but eventually pins it down to April 23, 1891, from the Sioux City Journal in Sioux City, Iowa.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony [04:38]: "Thursday, April 23, 1891."
• Gareth Reynolds [04:35]: "So this is a very Native American. It's going to favor the Native Americans."

---

Main Story: Mayor Campbell's Incident

The central narrative revolves around an incident where Mayor Campbell allegedly became sick and sleepy after drinking cider. The newspaper article suggests he was either drugged or excessively intoxicated. The hosts dissect the event, blending historical facts with comedic speculation.

• Temperance Movement Context: Dave and Gareth discuss the era's temperance movement, which was gaining momentum leading up to the Prohibition era in the 1920s. They humorously speculate on how similar incidents would be perceived today.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony [06:16]: "The local papers are filled with sensational articles today insinuating that Mayor Campbell was either drugged or drunk..."
• Gareth Reynolds [13:47]: "This was a big temperance time. Oh, was it in places like Iowa? For sure."

---

Comedic Analysis & Banter

Throughout the discussion, the hosts and Lee Camp interject with witty remarks and jokes, often veering off into humorous tangents about alcohol, historical figures, and contemporary parallels.

• Alcohol Consumption: The conversation humorously debates Mayor Campbell's drinking habits, the difference between cider and whiskey, and societal perceptions of alcohol intake during that period.

Notable Quotes:

• Lee Camp [05:06]: "Turtle Island Times says."
• Dave Anthony [17:06]: "I told him I knew he had been drugged... You drive around all night so his wife doesn't see."

---

Other Historical News Highlights

Beyond the main story, the episode touches on various other historical events reported in the newspaper, including:

1. Great Britain in Africa: Discussions about struggles over nitrate mines in Africa, highlighting colonial tensions and economic dependencies.

   Notable Quote:

   • Dave Anthony [21:34]: "Captain Pratt of the Bark On Away... the chief source of revenue for the government, the nitrate mines."

2. Portuguese Political Turmoil: A brief look into anxiety over a potential revolution in Portugal, reflecting the political instability of the time.

   Notable Quote:

   • Dave Anthony [23:02]: "He expressed fears that a revolution is about to break out, in which event the lives of foreigners will be endangered."

3. Mafia Investigation in New Orleans: Analyzing a grand jury's inquiry into the lynching of an Italian prisoner, the hosts humorously critique the justice system's handling of mob-related crimes.

   Notable Quote:

   • Dave Anthony [37:04]: "Swindler's working for East."

---

Interactive Segment: Animated News Reporting

Towards the latter part of the episode, Gareth Reynolds introduces an animated segment produced in collaboration with Lakeside Animation. This segment humorously visualizes the newspaper stories discussed, adding a layer of satire to the historical analysis.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds [62:11]: "We're starting to animate some of our episodes... It's a really awesome animation of the Rube."

---

Closing Remarks & Promotions

The episode concludes with promotional plugs for Lee Camp's Unredacted Tonight and the newly animated segments. The hosts express their appreciation for Lee's participation and encourage listeners to engage with their animated content.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds [62:39]: "Thank you, Lee. Always a pleasure. Thanks, buddy."

---

Engaging Insights & Humor

Throughout the episode, Dave, Gareth, and Lee Camp excel in blending historical facts with sharp humor, offering listeners both entertainment and a quirky perspective on past events. Their playful interactions and witty commentary make the history examination both informative and highly engaging.

Memorable Moments:

• The humorous debate over the meaning of "loaded" cider versus whiskey.
• Imagining historical events through a modern comedic lens, such as the portrayal of Mayor Campbell's condition.
• The playful mockery of old newspaper reporting styles and their sensationalism.

---

Conclusion: Episode 117 of The Dollop with guests Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and Lee Camp delivers a rich, entertaining exploration of historical events from April 23, 1891, blending factual analysis with incisive comedy. The episode stands out for its seamless integration of guest interactions, humorous banter, and insightful commentary, making it a must-listen for history enthusiasts and comedy fans alike.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

The dollop is brought to you by Hularius Stand up comedy now on Hulu. Hey, everybody, you know Hulu, right? Yes, it's the streaming service Hulu. What other Hulu is there? Well, Hulu has a bunch of new stand up specials that are not just funny, they're hoo larious. Because they're Hulu and the specials are hilarious. I get it. You get it, right? Yeah, very funny, Hulu. Anyway, they're launching new exclusive standup specials from awesome comedians like Jim Gaffigan, Lida glazier, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr, Chris DiStefano, Jessica Kirsten, and tons more. A new stand up special drops every month, so mark your streaming calendar. Plus, Hulu has a huge library of stand up specials to check out. So if you're ready to laugh your face off and find out what's really hilarious, go to Hulu and get your stand up fix now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Lee Kane. Welcome back, Lee.

[Lee Camp]

Thank you. I've missed you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nervous?

[Lee Camp]

Very, very, very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is big. We gotta reach. We gotta reach, Lee. You have. Your show Unredacted is now on YouTubes.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah. So it's on YouTube. It's a little bit everywhere. I've brought back my. My show, my TV show, my comedy news show. Redacted tonight, but it's called Unredacted tonight.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

And it's completely independent this time.

[Dave Anthony]

Is this one Russian disinformation or is this not Russian?

[Lee Camp]

We did, I did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We did have one person tell us that we had on a Russian misinformation. I did.

[Lee Camp]

I did eight years of Russian misinformation and now I've done. I finished my term in the gulag. And. And this is. I've been. I've been gone from RJ for three years and this is completely independent. And it's just me losing a lot of money. Is what it is now true in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Russia that Google's called Gulag?

[Lee Camp]

Yes, that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I thought so when does the show. Where can people find it? Because I. I watched the last episode and as always, I'm just tremendously impressed with. With what you do, but also write all of it and it's great.

[Lee Camp]

Aw, shucks, it is. It airs 7pm Eastern, 4pm Pacific on Thursdays. What's your YouTubes? Yeah, it's YouTube.com moment of clarity. It's. It depends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Back on the back.

[Lee Camp]

But after everything.

[Dave Anthony]

Everything YouTube has done to you, you're.

[Lee Camp]

Well, they're still the biggest platform. For those who don't know, they erased The Redacted Tonight YouTube channel, which had a quarter million subscribers, and all the videos are gone and it's banned around the world. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's cool. You know, energy's up. We're feeling good.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what? You could get it back. Just reach out to Trump.

[Lee Camp]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm telling you.

[Lee Camp]

Let me just. In case YouTube is an issue. Linktree.com league camp. Just go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. There we go. That's better. All right, Lee. Well, I don't know if you remember, but we like to guess what year this newspaper might be from. Seems like you didn't. But you get to guess first. I mean, again, it could be anytime. Really.

[Lee Camp]

Anytime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would favor when America existed.

[Lee Camp]

America exists. Okay. Not Turtle Island. You mean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could be the Turtle Island Times.

[Lee Camp]

Okay, I'll go 18. It's good. 98.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great guess. It's a great guest, Lee.

[Dave Anthony]

How was that a great guest? What are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right in the zone.

[Lee Camp]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's in the zone. He's right in the zone.

[Dave Anthony]

Say your really bad answer and we'll move on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

1908, 10 years later.

[Dave Anthony]

You're wrong. You're wrong, Gareth. You are wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he right?

[Lee Camp]

Because otherwise.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he's basically that I'm wrong, has.

[Lee Camp]

To leave now, right?

[Dave Anthony]

No, the year. Year is 1891.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, all right.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was closest. Dave. I've literally gotten it right two times. Lee. The reaction's been less than this.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the.

[Lee Camp]

Not a big hug and high five.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you can get it. Away you go.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get the number right. But if the vibe is wrong, makes no sense.

[Lee Camp]

It's called tough love, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where's the love part? Tough.

[Dave Anthony]

Thursday, April 23, 1891. The Sioux City Journal. Sioux City, Iowa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is a very Native American. It's going to favor the Native Americans.

[Lee Camp]

Turtle Island Times says.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Turtle Island Times.

[Dave Anthony]

This is. Yeah. This is one of the many cities we named after the people that we killed. The liberated first head. Yes. Liberated. The first headlight. Well, this. It's a three headliner. The mayor took a drink. He said it. He said it was cider. But Des Moines. Des Moines Marshall says it was loaded. Death lurking in the water. This is the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait.

[Lee Camp]

Lod.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lauded or whatever. Is that what it is?

[Dave Anthony]

Lauded? Loaded.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How's that spelled loaded, like a loaded gun. Like, so he drank loaded. A loaded.

[Lee Camp]

Was loaded. Mean alcohol.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It must mean like a ton of.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. You guys have said this before on these episodes. There was not much to talk about in the news back.

[Dave Anthony]

That's correct. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They'll get you, though. Sometimes they'll be like, horse murdered man. And you're like, whoa. But. But for the most part, no, it is like you do kind for this time.

[Lee Camp]

The mayor took a drink.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The mayor took a drink.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a big. It's a big news. It's big news.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The local papers are filled with sensational articles today insinuating that Mayor Campbell was either drugged or drunk yesterday afternoon and giving publicity to all sorts of sensational rumors.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How great is it to drug the mayor? Oh, if you could pull that off.

[Dave Anthony]

We should do it all the time. All mayors. Although the mayor of New York seems drugged pretty often.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would not say that the mayor of LA seems not drugs.

[Lee Camp]

So the fact is this saying that someone else drugged the mayor, because actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'S probably his camp floating that out there because he was shitfaced. Just like, you know, my wife goes both ways. People are like, all right, Mr. Mayor, it's time that they were, like, putting his coat on him. Smell my finger.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that part of the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been in his bottom.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay. I was wondering if that was part of the mayor character.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's part of the. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's Mayor.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay. I thought you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If we weren't on Zoom, potentially.

[Lee Camp]

Zoom is introducing a smell your finger option.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that under Settings?

[Lee Camp]

Yeah, Settings.

[Dave Anthony]

The facts seem to be that Mayor Campbell and Alderman Smith went over to the Fifth Ward about 10:00 yesterday morning to look for dumping ground. For. Look for dumping ground. For dumping ground. Okay. They were accompanied by James O'Callaghan and James Hagerman. They drove all to the bottom on the east side, inspecting different locations. And they drank a glass of sweet cider at a grocer's named Johnson without unpleasant effect. Later, they drank a glass at a little grocery store.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pleasant effect is such. Without crazy way to be.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how you say it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They felt it. I know.

[Lee Camp]

How does they feel?

[Dave Anthony]

Good.

[Lee Camp]

The best dumping ground is it just like Native American through it.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, especially Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You always say you want to see a lot of road signs and barbed wires.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, I want it. Yeah. I want to see, well, roadkill. And I want to see dead animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

I want to see. I want the main Thing is, when you're standing there and it's very quiet, you want to see a paper blow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Through, you know, tumbleweed. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's almost like. It's almost like nature saying, this is your spot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's sweet. It's a nice way to get away.

[Dave Anthony]

And maybe a hobo tells his wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That he's going to go to the dump and he'll just go to a landfill and smoke cigarettes for hours. He's told me off air.

[Dave Anthony]

I got to think about stuff.

[Lee Camp]

And the dump's the best place to do that. Yeah, absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Plus, they give you a lollipop if you act like a child.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't you keep reading?

[Dave Anthony]

People probably don't. That. That's an old. That's a thing that us old people remember. If you. If you went to the dump, they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That actually true.

[Lee Camp]

They do a lollipop at the dump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is absolutely bonus.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe it was just our dump. I thought that was a dump thing. See, they give the dump and he'd give out lollipops to the kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was trying to kill you.

[Dave Anthony]

You know how he was with my dad. My dad was probably trying to kill me.

[Lee Camp]

They give. The only place around here that gives my kid a lollipop is the wine store, which is nice because it's like the. The haggard dad comes in with the kid to get some whiskey and the kid gets a lollipop. It's lovely. Yeah, it's a family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go. We know your dad's not there. Have this.

[Lee Camp]

Absentee father. Tastes sweet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You like Jerry? I want a dad. Have a cherry one.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what are interesting things is when you tell a story of your childhood from the 70s, and midway through you realize, oh, that wasn't everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or how about this where you're like, oh, that's abuse. Like, you'll be going through it. They always put me in a cold tub to just teach me a lesson. Everyone's like, what? You're like, remember when you were a boy and your dad would throw you in a cold tub just to kind of teach you a lesson? You get so called, you'd shiver and turn blue.

[Lee Camp]

Do you remember when they'd slap you in a wet sock when you said their first name right? Everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Did everyone else have a timeout attic where they could lock it from the outside and you'd have to go there?

[Dave Anthony]

So later they took. Later they drank a glass at a little grocery store. Oh, I already said that. After which. Oh, no, I didn't. There's a Different one. Later, they drank a glass at a little grocery store at the south end of East 8th street, after which the mayor became deathly sick and sleepy, vomiting and falling into a stupor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they're framing drunk as death's door.

[Lee Camp]

Also, did they notice the reporter behind them shot down every glass of liquor they have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so fun.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, if you're drinking at 10am it means you haven't stopped. Not that you're beginning, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Potentially for sure, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Potentially for sure is my new album, by the way.

[Dave Anthony]

They changed drivers at the stable a little afternoon and returned to the stable between two and three. The Marshall, learning the condition of the mayor, got into the hack and drove about the city till evening. And by that time, the mayor had recovered sufficiently to be taken home. They drove. They sober drove him around for hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what they did to Yeltsin. Please, guy.

[Lee Camp]

They totally did that to the Elton.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they'd be sitting on the tarmac with the Elton. They'd be like, how close is he to being able to do the handshake on the run? We're about five to six hours away from him to be handshakeable.

[Dave Anthony]

And then he doesn't even do the handshake. He just dances.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He came out there and, like, give him the finger. They'd be like, that's all we're going to get today.

[Dave Anthony]

You got the finger and dance.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You just come out and be like, hey, he wants to see my nutsack for us. Get in the limo.

[Lee Camp]

You know, they do that same thing with Trump because he's high off spray tanner or whatever. Got away 15 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you're doing him the favor of assuming the whole body looks like that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I refuse to believe that. When he gets naked, it's just pale and shitty and pink. And then the face is just the color of a pancake.

[Lee Camp]

Listen, you turn that body orange, it doesn't change how disgusting it is.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's better, especially if you're lifting up his titties. Mr. President, can we spray orange under your tits?

[Dave Anthony]

No, but he. It doesn't though, because he puts it on himself. And so there's just. There's just areas of white, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, his back is like, completely white. With, like, handprints.

[Lee Camp]

No, he sprays it on a pole and then rubs his back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like how a bear itches himself.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, joy.

[Dave Anthony]

Marshall Stutsman says this morning Mayor Campbell was not intoxicated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He is the guy picking up the pieces. This is the press secretary, basically, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He is the victim of one of the most damnable plots ever concocted. When I heard of the affair, I went in and found him lying in the hack, as pale as a cloth. His eyes were clear, and he had no appearance of having been drinking. He was simply intensely sleepy.

[Lee Camp]

On the dastardly plot was to follow him around pretending he was drinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's. Well to say he's drugged, basically, or some. Or he's just super tired. It. It is. It always amazes me how long the bullshit's been going on, because if there's any time to just be like, yeah, the mayor got faced. And that would come across as relatable, I would imagine. It's like 1898, people be like, yeah, that's our guy.

[Dave Anthony]

This was. This was a big temperance time. Oh, was it in places like Iowa? For sure. Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

It was headed into prohibition, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Prohibition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When was prohibition? I. I think.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it's the twenties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's what I thought. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

But it took a while to get cooking. But places. Places leading up to the national one. But if you can imagine this happening with something else today. Leading up to the. The national ban, there were state bands and local bands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Strange.

[Lee Camp]

Have you guys ever talked about the fact that the US Government poisoned certain, like, alcohol shipments because they knew people were stealing them, like Sterno or something?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I haven't done that. Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

And so they. They poisoned some of them and literally killed people.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, they were doing an illegal thing, Lee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn't be drinking. Did you ever think about that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, yeah, that'll teach him. His days of drinking are done. He's passed away.

[Lee Camp]

You've got a fair point there.

[Dave Anthony]

I told him I knew he had been drugged. Not wishing to alarm his wife, I had him driven around till evening. Should that. Well, that's what you do when a man's been drugged. You drive. You drive around all night so his wife doesn't see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely. That's what they say. The first thing to do is elevate his legs and drive him around for five to six hours.

[Lee Camp]

And in 1898, what kind of vehicle are we talking about? Is this horse and buggy driving around?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's a horse. And. Yeah, horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The horses are like. We passed this place. Where's this guy going?

[Lee Camp]

Can you drunk drive on a horse and buggy? I think that's fine. Fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. I mean, imagine the first crash in a horse and buggy from being drunk. Buddy, how did you Not. He saw. It's coming, like a mile and a half away.

[Dave Anthony]

And the horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The horses are trying to stop. Yeah, yeah, right.

[Lee Camp]

How did you hit that at three miles an hour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go.

[Dave Anthony]

If he had been intoxicated, he would have been all right after vomiting.

[Lee Camp]

This is some investigative stuff, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

An admission.

[Lee Camp]

You're digging deep on this.

[Dave Anthony]

He's just digging a hole for the mayor. Stop talking. After getting over the attack, he showed every sign of having just come out from under the influence of opium or some drug of that sort. Okay, now you're not helping him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, he clearly. I mean. Yeah, just like alcohol.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Mayor Campbell was at his office today. Apparently as well as usual. He said a quote. Some of my overzealous friends, and I believe they are real friends, are making a mountain out of a molehill in this matter. I hired the carriage of O'Callahan and Hagman, who is a German newspaper correspondent. I drank two glasses of cider, which did not agree with the medicine I had been taking for the grip. So he had the flu.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So good.

[Lee Camp]

Look, if there's one day I just. One day to take some hits from the flask, it's the dump site picking day. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's the day to do it. You get to get shitfaced on the day you're looking for a dump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also like that he. So he can admit to having some, but just not getting hammered.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he drank two glasses. He's saying there's no way two glasses of cider got me drunk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm an alcoholic. It wouldn't hit me.

[Lee Camp]

It wouldn't hit me like that.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm saying he was already drunk when he got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I drank poison most of the time.

[Dave Anthony]

It made me deathly sick and sleepy. And that is all there is to it. And this talk of a conspiracy to drug me is without a particle of foundation. There was no room for any crooked work. I took a smoke, but when offered whiskey, declined, saying, I never drank. Right. So this is when cider is not drinking, but whiskey is drinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the best.

[Dave Anthony]

These are the days.

[Lee Camp]

These are the days.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like gaming drones. The amount of wine where they're like, more water.

[Dave Anthony]

And Lee, do you remember the. The ads that they had when they had that let's stop people from drinking period, which was 70s, 80s or something. But. But the guy would be. There was a guy that would come on and one of these little promos, and he would say, I was drinking. I was drinking, you know, 18, 24 beers a day and thinking to myself, it's just beer. And everyone was like, what's happening right now? You were. You were drinking. How much?

[Lee Camp]

24. That's like a hobby. That's a. You have to really like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's something you compete. That's like competitive boozing, like you're trying to win something.

[Dave Anthony]

I took. Okay, I got that. Oh. Callahan tasted it and smelled it and remarked that the stuff would kill a man and threw it under the seat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not how you do that.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how you do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, that'd kill a man. You're like, that'd kill a horse. You don't just say what you are. Like, you got to be hyper. You got to make escalate comedically. That'd kill a me. You.

[Lee Camp]

You wanna. You want a rhino?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly like, that'd take down a family of giraffes.

[Lee Camp]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would kill me.

[Dave Anthony]

Your notes on this story is that O'Callaghan wasn't good enough with comedy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't love the quips.

[Dave Anthony]

He threw it under the seat. But the party twice asked me to drink after I got sick. Did I know that they drove to the livery stable and changed drivers? No, but I went to sleep in the back, and that may have been done while I was. While I was asleep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sir, stop talking.

[Dave Anthony]

That's my statement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did I need to eat my throw up with my hands like I was drinking water from a waterfall? No.

[Lee Camp]

Should we mention his publicist was smashed when he was saying this stuff?

[Dave Anthony]

Smith and O'Callaghan deny any intention to disgrace the mayor, so they're putting on the. Yeah, the cab company or whatever it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so it's either he was. He's saying he wasn't drugged, but he also wasn't drunk. He had two siders that disagreed with his medication.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's it.

[Lee Camp]

Was this a time when being drunk as the mayor would have gotten him fired? As the mayor.

[Dave Anthony]

It would have gotten him. Yeah, it would have got him in a lot of trouble because I think he's. That he was saying he's not a drinker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So classic.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's still not a drinker because he wasn't drinking whiskey. He was just drinking cider, which is essentially like what babies drank back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is. That's what comes out of your mouth.

[Lee Camp]

Put in the baby bottle. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And now some international news right away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So really not a lot going on.

[Lee Camp]

Nope. That was it. That's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, now to Belgium.

[Dave Anthony]

The latest from Chile. Great Britain has trouble in Africa. Portugal in turmoil Fava at home. We're not going to read all that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love Great Britain has trouble in Africa. What a good way to put it. Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

One's a continent, just like it does. Just. Africa just doesn't matter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's some struggles over there. I don't want to get into it, but there's been some land pushback from certain people.

[Dave Anthony]

Captain Pratt of the Bark On Away, which arrived from Coletta Buna, Chile, says the rebels had everything their own way when he left there. The chief source of revenue for the government, the nitrate mines. It's a nitrate mine that I don't know. Okay. Is in the hands of the insurgents, and President Bal Maceda and the cabinet are unable to secure money. Their friends are becoming disheartened, and their towns are being burned. Yeah, well, that's very disheartening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those two are tied together.

[Lee Camp]

Okay. Nitrate is a chemical compound of nitrogen, oxygen. So. So is this the time when there was, like, lacking nitrogen in the soils?

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Maybe they need nitrous. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. For. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. That's still a thing. Right?

[Lee Camp]

Gareth knows exactly what we're talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is when they were trying. Is my mic on? This is when they were trying to get much more nitrate inside of the soil.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah. Can you tell us a little more about that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. So they went into the soil. I mean, my mic working? I can't even tell.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So. So they went into the. So a lot of the far. And thank you for tossing that this way, Lee. Yeah, yeah. So sorry about that. So a lot of the. The soil they were discovering was low on a lot of minerals and compounds. They relied on compounds. They found a lot of nitrate in the mines. I will. One second. I gotta get going in one minute here, guys. But. But. So they. They were discovering really already. I gotta take a phone call. Why are you sweating so much wearing this, Pat? It's inside. So, yeah, I should go. But there was a lot of nitrate in the soil. Finish this story. I'm going to take this call. Be right back.

[Dave Anthony]

Thanks. Why you just lean over?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh?

[Lee Camp]

By the way, exactly how his.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm on the toilet.

[Dave Anthony]

You said you were g. You had somewhere to go and then you just leaned over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's a count. I have a council here. I'm having my counsel. I'm talking to my counsel. My hand. I have a hand hand.

[Lee Camp]

Council. Yeah, the right hand man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Their friends are becoming disheartened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Am I not muted?

[Dave Anthony]

No, you nailed that. Their Friends are becoming disheartened and their towns are being burned. They have virtually imprisoned the President and his disgusted army. The words they're using are amazing. It's like they got. They got to the d. Part of the. And those residents who have been compelled to stand by them are sadly in need of food and ammunition. I mean, this sounds like they're. They're. Everything's being burned down and they don't have any guns and food. Like, it's not good. It's written in a way that I'm supposed to be on the side of the oppressors. And. Yeah, I'm thinking, good for them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Burnt. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's a very common theme with our papers.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And then here's Portuguese fear of Portuguese revolution. A correspondent of the Times of Madrid's Madrid says that grave anxiety is felt over the state of affairs in Portugal. He expresses fears that a revolution is about to break out, in which event the lives of foreigners will be endangered. Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what we already know, based on the skew of the last one, that this probably means there's some probably occupying people who are going to try to take their place back would be my guess.

[Lee Camp]

Oh, so that's the way. That's what I mean by foreigners is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they're like, yes, the colonized, whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I think that. I think they're saying that people who are there from like, Britain, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's sort of like when they're like, when they. When it's like, they'll be like, listen, everyone in the embassy leave Iran, or like, something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not looking good for us anymore.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Because I heard foreigners. I was like, you mean the tourists are in trouble?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what you're like. Well, it could be. It could be like some British people, like, gosh, I was by the pool this morning and his blokes come up and he's told me, you know, and they're like, well, why are they so mad now? All of a sudden, these people aren't giving me our turkey legs.

[Lee Camp]

This is horrible. This is the difficulty Britain's having in Africa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, exactly. Same thing I tell you. All of a sudden the milk has turned with these people. For some reason, they wanted living wage in a home again. It's awful what they've done to us.

[Lee Camp]

We're gonna be out of nitrates by June.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We need to get more bloody nitrates. They eat it. The British are so sickly. They eat nitrates. That's nice.

[Lee Camp]

That's what happened to the teeth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's our fluoride.

[Dave Anthony]

The dollop is brought to you by Hularius. Stand Up Comedy now on Hulu. Hey, everybody, you know Hulu, right? Yes, it's the streaming service Hulu. What other Hulu is there? Well, Hulu has a bunch of new stand up specials that are not just funny, they're hilarious. Because they're Hulu and the specials are hilarious. I get it. You get it, right? Yeah, very funny, Hulu. Anyway, they're launching new exclusive stand up specials from awesome comedians like Jim Gaffigan, Ulayna glazier, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr, Chris DiStefano, Jessica Kirsten, and tons more. A new stand up special drops every month, so mark your streaming calendar. Plus, Hulu has a huge library of stamp specials to check out. So if you're ready to laugh your face off and find out what's really hilarious, go to Hulu and get your stand up fix. Now the crow, Cleveland 8 Gareth, you want to take a guess? No, it didn't taste good and he partially denies swallowing it.

[Lee Camp]

Cleveland is a guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Ex President Cleveland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, motherfucker.

[Dave Anthony]

Who had an opportunity to read his views on the silver question as printed yesterday, said this morning to a reporter, quote, I have read the report and it seems to me that it has been embellished and expressions put into my mouth never uttered by me. While some of the opinions may be regarded as partly my views upon the subject of silver coinage, yet there are many other expressions credited to me that would require considerable weeding out before the supposed conversation could be strictly turned an accurate report.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, we're disappointed.

[Dave Anthony]

Disappointed.

[Lee Camp]

I mean, is it amazed just how differently presidents spoke back then? Like, that would trump and be. It'd be like, didn't say it. Lies, lies, lies. That'd be it. That'd be the whole.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the guy who said it's an idiot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

First of all, he lied.

[Lee Camp]

Idiot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He ain't pro.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we all used to like the whole. Anytime you. Yeah, everybody's like, doesn't speak as well.

[Lee Camp]

We're.

[Dave Anthony]

We're dumber. We're dumb. We're dumber people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you also used. You used to get busted, like. But you also. They also use. Like, you do miss the days when, like, they would get caught and be like, God damn it, I gotta resign now. You're like, they're not gonna do anything. Like, they'll just simply be like, you.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I didn't do it. And if I did off, I didn't do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you could prove it. All right. You.

[Dave Anthony]

Threw oranges at them. Finally they spelled it Ponoma, California, but it's Pomona.

[Lee Camp]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

So we'll give them that. The presidential party I'm going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it too late?

[Lee Camp]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Is it too late?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's in the next week 1. What is time? If we could write letters to these from the future and maybe the City.

[Lee Camp]

Tribune will write a retraction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. We've got a letter from the future. It's correcting our spelling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's all it is.

[Lee Camp]

Great Scott.

[Dave Anthony]

The presidential party made a short stop here this afternoon. Only two hours notice had been given, but the whole town turned out and the president made a brief speed. Two hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is so.

[Dave Anthony]

So they. They up. They up. They must have. You don't just all a president just also goes somewhere with two hours notice and give a speech.

[Lee Camp]

Maybe he's trying to find Snider, trying to be hammered.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Trump would do that, though. That feels like he. That, that.

[Dave Anthony]

No, because he sells tickets. His whole thing is about making money off the rallies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

True. Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah, that's true. And he only speaks at places where he can be on a stage that's 900ft from any other living human being because he doesn't want to be near anyone. So he loves them. He's not like that Waffle. He's not. Not at waffle houses hugging babies. No, he's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no. Remember when Biden went to the Waffle House after he lost the debate, though?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like how that dude, everyone's like, yes, you should lay down, put syrup in him, see what happens.

[Lee Camp]

It'd be great if he was campaigning. While laying down was all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How would it be if he was still campaigning? Nobody told him he lost and he was out. He's still on the road.

[Lee Camp]

I don't think they have. I think he's at a nursing home right now thinking he's president, talking to plants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got. We got to get going, man.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. There's no way he lasts four years. And just having Trump talk about him after he dies is going to make liberals heads explode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's as sleepy as he's ever been. The sleepiest Joe Biden. Someone told me it was open casket. You couldn't even tell. It looked like he looked like he when he was campaigning.

[Lee Camp]

Trump at his funeral.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just like burning noises, rolling his eyes on his phone.

[Lee Camp]

He's lazy. He's Just lazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trump tweeted during this, during the funeral that the super bowl should be moved to Mar a Lago.

[Dave Anthony]

He said the audience would have to excuse him from extended remarks as he had been subjected to such a strain that his brain needs irrigation to put it in trim again.

[Lee Camp]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

The references to irrigation was loudly cheered. It's talking about booze. He's talking about booze.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so what is.

[Dave Anthony]

He needs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is what I would imagine so.

[Lee Camp]

Many euphemisms for booze back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I would. I love the irrigation one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is awesome. I need to go self irrigate. Yeah, but. But I would imagine that you would be like, I would think at this time. I mean, as any time that if you are running on, like, I like to get wet. Like, people be like, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. 100. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why, like the mayor was like, just be like, I got faced.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

I guess it depended on whether you had staked your reputation on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Not being a drinker or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah. Like, yeah. Like today, if your whole thing is that gay people shouldn't exist and then you're in a bathroom stall paying sex from a man or you're the head.

[Lee Camp]

Of the Child Protective Committee or whatever it was called, and it turned out he was a pedophile.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Lee Camp]

Congressman Foley or something.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure, why not? People are going to cheer that one, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been on the road all day and I get.

[Lee Camp]

Really.

[Dave Anthony]

As a boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Lee Camp]

I like a boy as much as the next man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I had five kids in my car this morning. We drove here together. I let one of them drive.

[Dave Anthony]

Although the way things are going, that might actually happen, honestly, even close.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would not be crazy if like Don Jr. Was like marrying a 16 year old.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. Let him live.

[Lee Camp]

No, we're there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are.

[Dave Anthony]

The reference to references to irrigation was loudly cheered. Postmaster General Wanamaker and Secretary Rusk also spoke. The speakers were showered with roses and presented with a. With mammoth naval oranges.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

And the headline was through oranges at them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they didn't. So the headline was salacious. That didn't even. They handed oranges to. To them.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The headline was a lie because if you could go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you could go heave oranges at politicians, that would be awesome.

[Lee Camp]

I mean, I think that happened back then, but this one was not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'd be great.

[Lee Camp]

These were loving oranges just to hit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rick Scott with a melon.

[Lee Camp]

Cantaloupes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cantaloupe. At Rick Scott's cantaloupe.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Lee Camp]

I think we'd be living in a different reality now if that shoe had hit George Bush.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

I just hadn't ducked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you, one of the greatest moments, probably my greatest moment on Twitter was when I tweeted something along those lines of like, whatever. Like it might have been the anniversary. I was like, you know, just, well, how he deserved to get hit by that shoe or something like that. And the guy who threw the shoes on Twitter and he. Oh, yeah, he subtweeted me. He was like, I tried my best or something like that. Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Lee Camp]

He spent like a year or two in prison for that.

[Dave Anthony]

That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then he was like. But then I was like, twitter is still okay with me. This guy and I are connecting.

[Dave Anthony]

That was pretty great. Yeah, it was awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. It really was upsetting how good he was at dodging the second shoe.

[Lee Camp]

It's because he used to own a baseball team.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's because he didn't sell Farragut anymore.

[Lee Camp]

You know, if a shoe flies by you, you should always expect a second one coming.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Lee Camp]

That's so true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess.

[Lee Camp]

I guess it's a good lesson of life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, if there was only a third. If only. Can I borrow your shoe?

[Lee Camp]

Unless it's a one legged man who threw a shoe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Or a guy just came with shoes. Jesus Christ. What is this, a Payless stop? Dude.

[Dave Anthony]

It'S sad. That's our. That's our only hero from the rack war.

[Lee Camp]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's trying to think if there's another one.

[Dave Anthony]

There's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your name? Cindy Shehan.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Mafia investigation. The grand jury is looking into the New Orleans necktie party. A murderer. Ford will hang a woman's strange crime. Okay, those are all together. For some reason, the criminal district court is crowded each day. 270 prominent citizens have been summoned before the grand jury to testify relative to the lynching of the Italian prisoner at the parish prison. As the witnesses do not include the leaders of the mob or the men who took part in it, the conclusions are that the grand jury summoned the witnesses for the purpose of learning the public feeling about the affair and whether or not the mob represented public sentiment in the action it took. Oh, so the mob killed their own guys? I think. And so they're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're saying they're allowed to do that?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I think. I think they're. I think they're. I think that's the thing is they're like. Is this. Okay. Did the mob do good?

[Lee Camp]

Could you imagine courts ever caring about public sentiment?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Lee Camp]

How do you feel about this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we should probably consider what the people want. Imagine that would be incredible. But, yeah. So the mob is basically saying the mob's gonna Mob.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's what we do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys like, what do you want?

[Dave Anthony]

It is highly probable there was an.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Italian guy in the mob.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no. If there was, Dave, It's a spicy meatball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We get paid 50 every time he says that.

[Lee Camp]

By who exactly? Meatball Company.

[Dave Anthony]

Arrested my case. Espici Meatball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Dave, you're going to lose.

[Lee Camp]

The money FUBU pays us every time we. I don't know why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's actually. Remember Quibi? It's from. We don't know why, but quibi pays us 50 times $50 every time. Dave. Spicy meatball.

[Lee Camp]

It's the only thing they're still funding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Apparently, they still have a little money in the kitty, and it goes to Dave's meatballs.

[Dave Anthony]

It is highly probable that the grand jury will not be ready to file its report for a week or more. The report will be a long and exhaustive one. It is understood, giving the full history of the Mafia in New Orleans. The report is likely to be a strong presentation of the citizens explanatory of why the grand jury has refused to find any indictments against the men who engaged in the lynching. Detective O'Malley talks defiantly and says the people who called for his apprehension. Yep. Yep. Appreciate Culver's apprehension are now sorry they have got him. They'll be glad to get rid of him, but they can't. And he will yet have them pillared as murders of innocent and helpless men. The Italians did not kill Hennessy Omali ads. Hennessy's last words were, never mind me, catch Devereaux, not catch the dagos, as has been reported.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those are going to be my last words.

[Lee Camp]

Wait, they hanged all these people because they thought one dude said catch the diggers? No, no, wait, guys, that's not what I said. Wait, wait.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I said as the day goes.

[Lee Camp]

As the day goes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As the day goes. Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really is.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. This is why we do the podcast.

[Lee Camp]

I didn't say waps. I said do Wop. Do what? Do up, damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do up.

[Dave Anthony]

Three out of the 45 Sicilians who arrived yesterday were arrested before midnight for carrying murderous knives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Murderous dies. I love that length.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that's for cutting salami.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the one you want. Yo, come on. That's my garlic knife. Chill.

[Lee Camp]

And they said they arrived that day. So it took them less than a day to get arrested.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, three of the 45.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Three of them were like, that's not for cutting.

[Dave Anthony]

The Italian console says he has proof that all but two of the men lynched were Italian subjects. Some had registered and voted, but this was due to ignorance of the law on their part and to sharp practices on the part of the politicians. This could not alter their status as Italian citizens. Oh, I. There was a big. I feel like there was a big Italian murder thing that happened around this time in New Orleans. And then everyone started killing the Italians. I think that's like they assassinated someone. And then. And then everyone went crazy and was like, well, we should just kill all the Italians.

[Lee Camp]

Kill all the Italians.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't hate it.

[Lee Camp]

I mean, it's a good. Yeah, it's a fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't hate it. It's something to do for a little while.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, could be fun.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's just not. I just. I'm saying don't judge it. You know what I mean?

[Lee Camp]

Yeah, I. I'm sure the black people were like, yes, kill all the Italians.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not us. They're like, you still, too. And the Italians.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. Basically Italian black guy. Okay, so this is just a bunch of little one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, these can sometimes liner.

[Dave Anthony]

The question is, what show will Barnum have in the next world?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he's gonna just. In the next world?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I think he died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe Space Bar. Oh, space Barnum.

[Dave Anthony]

No, not space. Barn. I'm not space. Like, when he's like, no, he's like, that's space. But you don't go to space when you die. What religion did you just make up? You just made up a religion.

[Lee Camp]

First of all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

First of all, where are you pitching? You go when you die.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm not. But there. But these people think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe you turn into dust. You become a tree, and then you turn into dust and you go to space.

[Lee Camp]

Wait, you guys don't play paintball? Paintball. When you die, I thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that right? I like this one.

[Lee Camp]

I thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm listening to Lee a little bit more than. I hate this.

[Dave Anthony]

So, like, eternal paintball. Does the paintball game stop?

[Lee Camp]

It's tough to say, yeah, it might be eternal. And I think it.

[Dave Anthony]

Because that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have never thought about this theory.

[Dave Anthony]

Paintball hurts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not when you're gone. It's awesome. It just goes through you. It's endless. You never. It's one long game of capture the.

[Lee Camp]

Flag while playing paintball it's heaven is paintball doesn't hurt. Hell is it always hits you in the balls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And your gun's empty.

[Dave Anthony]

These are bad. This is a bad heaven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, now that you've heard. Now that you've heard. Lee's. Dave, may I walk you back to space? Barnum.

[Dave Anthony]

No, they're both welcome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This seat's still available at my table, my friend.

[Dave Anthony]

Are they floating around?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who are you talking to? Lee or Gary?

[Dave Anthony]

You. Yeah, they're float. They're just floating around like so there's odd, odd characters and animals and stuff just floating around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go back to leave for a little while. I don't like.

[Lee Camp]

Do you have to consult with your right hand man?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have to hold on. What was I talking about last night when I was self irrigated?

[Dave Anthony]

There are great many things in corn besides corn juice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, this is an awful thing to hear. Oh, corn juice. We sell that at our shows. Lee, you should come to one.

[Lee Camp]

Okay, yeah, that, that and meatballs, we do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave. I mean, if you want to get another 50 from Quibi.

[Dave Anthony]

I, I just. What was corn juice something that people enjoyed? Did they, did they squeeze now the corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll. It was a fall on the thing of necessity. When you eat corn. It's juicy.

[Dave Anthony]

It is juicy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quite sweet.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

You know, you'll see a lot of the kids walk around sucking on corn cobs. You've seen that, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm not saying I want to drink corn juice, but if someone handed me corn juice, I'd be like, I'll try it.

[Dave Anthony]

I would try corn juice. I like corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sweet corn could be pretty good. Now, I'm not saying we should be.

[Lee Camp]

Doing it, but my grandfather was a farmer and they called him a corn Jew. Does that count?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll be right back. Hey, Lee, we just. The network just called.

[Lee Camp]

They want to make a pilot, baby.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Corn Jew.

[Dave Anthony]

People. People get weird when you eat corn. Like you give a blowjob, huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep reading.

[Dave Anthony]

If you eat corn, just like talking about. You guys don't do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do. I do two. I do two. One from each end.

[Lee Camp]

Wait, is this the heaven you're proposing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Lee Camp]

Well, well, well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look who comes crawling back. Welcome to space.

[Lee Camp]

Everyone blowing their corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meet the shucker.

[Dave Anthony]

The president of the Cotton Farmers alliance in Georgia is opposed to a third party just now the Democratic party is good enough for him and he thinks that a third party is unnecessary, hazardous and unwise. So far as regards to Democratic party's interest in the South.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is depressing.

[Dave Anthony]

He says outright I have all confidence that the Democratic Party will give me its. US relief this week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unbelievable.

[Lee Camp]

We've been doing this for 110. 18, 30 years.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, 130 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, just give the Democrats a chance.

[Lee Camp]

There's no need for another party. We've got all the choice we need.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can't do that right now. This is the most important election of our lifetimes. Come on. Horace bushwinkle is a. A new. It's an existential threat.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Horace Bush Winkle is as bad as it gets. By the way. We're going to run on his policies.

[Lee Camp]

He was pretty bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Fred Briggs of Missouri Valley killed 142 blackbirds at one shot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice.

[Lee Camp]

There we go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Finally.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a shotgun. He had to use the shotgun.

[Lee Camp]

142. Even with a shotgun.

[Dave Anthony]

I know. Even with a shotgun. It's crazy, but the only way you could do it is with just you. You'd like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think there's a finish to your sentence.

[Lee Camp]

No, there's another way you could put them in a bag is just say you did it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's true, too.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there's that. Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There was probably someone who's like, holy. Really? Yep. You're going in the paper. That is easy.

[Dave Anthony]

A festive cow at Boon caused a fight between a woman and a boy. Both were fined.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Lee Camp]

I don't see anything wrong with that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, there's no other.

[Dave Anthony]

That's it.

[Lee Camp]

A festive what? What is a festive cow?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, have you ever been to India?

[Lee Camp]

Actually, I was in Tibet. They have festive yaks.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, Same thing. But it's a cow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mayor had a festive yak in the back of the.

[Dave Anthony]

He says while looking at his phone, just totally festive cow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's got to be. Literally.

[Lee Camp]

That's a ska band. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They played Lilith Fair. I'm just seeing a lot of cowheads and wreaths. A lot of Mary.

[Lee Camp]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A Moori Christmas.

[Lee Camp]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which should be Merry Cowsmas if I'm gonna do it. Okay. I'll show you my favorite festive cow.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, people listening can't see it, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I don't.

[Lee Camp]

I can't even see.

[Dave Anthony]

He has a Santa hat on.

[Lee Camp]

Oh, there we go. Santa.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, And. And a sweater. He has a Santa sweater on. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He makes eggnog.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. What?

[Lee Camp]

A man comes straight out the utters. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

A man in one of the Dubuque churches went to sleep Sunday and snored so loudly that the minister was forced to stop his sermon and have him awaken. Awakened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is. Not that. Really.

[Dave Anthony]

That must happen all the time. Church.

[Lee Camp]

They didn't even give us his name. I mean, if you're gonna do the reporting. Do the reporting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would just wake up and be like, it's part of God's plan.

[Lee Camp]

Docs. This guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Where's he live?

[Dave Anthony]

Document docsis. Motherfucker.

[Lee Camp]

Where does he live?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got to get him. And then the next week, he's been killed. I hope Lee feels good.

[Dave Anthony]

Governor Boyd says the reason he did not issue an Arbor Day proclamation was because it was unnecessary. The statute, he says, provides that the 22nd day of April shall be Arbor Day. And there was no more. Oh. And there was no more use in proclaiming Arbor Day than there would be in proclaiming Christmas or the fourth of July. This is. This is what this story is. Jesus Christ. Get off my back, you idiots.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you celebrate Tree Day?

[Dave Anthony]

I.

[Lee Camp]

Harbor day started in 1872 in Nebraska.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. It's on the calendar. We do not need to say it every time. It's here, it's there. I don't need to proclaim it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's.

[Lee Camp]

What will the trees think? What will the trees think?

[Dave Anthony]

What.

[Lee Camp]

What.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you even celebrate Arbor Day?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, we all do. It's the. It's Tree Day. It's. We.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did you do?

[Lee Camp]

Did you even go to the woods on Arbor Day?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you even go to the woods?

[Dave Anthony]

I. I enjoyed the trees in my yard, and I gave them wreaths.

[Lee Camp]

Did you give him a festive cow?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't like trees. Oh, I've never liked trees.

[Lee Camp]

Truth comes out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Finally, you people.

[Dave Anthony]

Here. Here's the deal. Let me live my life and stop trying with all your tree. I. It's oppressive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What will you be doing today?

[Lee Camp]

You're gonna lose all the tree votes. I think you lost them. I think they're gone.

[Dave Anthony]

You tree people are about to find out that everybody is tired of your tree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We still have to vote Democrat. There's no other solution.

[Lee Camp]

What are you gonna do for shade now? What are you gonna do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my.

[Dave Anthony]

I built a house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mother. My mother's his friend who's a complete. Reads complete right wing conspiracy and, like, sends her the articles. He's one of those guys, and she's. She's like. He sent me this article. Could you read it and tell me why I should write back? And it was about the fires in California space Lasers. Jewish.

[Lee Camp]

Jewish space lasers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's even. It's better. It was a graph showing how the fires in California over time used to be worse, like in the 1800s.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I swear to God, I was, like, salivating. I was like, I cannot wait to write this reply to remind this man of one major difference back then with the way it was set up here.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was like, yeah.

[Lee Camp]

No bucket lines.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Idiot. What the are you talking about?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Lee Camp]

Was. It was the chart drawn in crayon?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. It was like. It was immediately. I was like, I'm honestly enjoying this article. It's so bad.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, take a chart with a.

[Lee Camp]

Dinosaur sticker on it with a grain of salt.

[Dave Anthony]

The one that's getting me. That's so hilarious. Is that the. That they're saying that Biden spread the bird flu with drones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've seen that one.

[Dave Anthony]

They're just. It's so great that they're good. That's how they're going to handle the bird flu.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They just can't. It's impossible. It's. The obvious answer is so impossible now that you have to go like, the.

[Lee Camp]

Drones were pissing bird flu.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, it was to hurt the farmers, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I remember them suggesting during Iraq invasion times that one of Saddam Hussein's plots was to fly things over and drop anthrax on us and all that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I remember that. Yeah.

[Lee Camp]

Oh, there were people covering their homes in plastic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I remember that, too. Where they were, they were like duct tape your windows. They were telling me to get a.

[Lee Camp]

Seal to duct tape the windows with plastic. And it was like, you realize you're going to suffocate in your house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they were like, this is a way to call the herd. Yeah, we want those people gone.

[Lee Camp]

I. I supported it wholeheartedly.

[Dave Anthony]

Cockney, Sterling and Ready Brumman fought for 300 near here today. Sterling was put to sleep in the 21st round.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Lee Camp]

Like, euthanized?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They finally killed them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this quarter man?

[Lee Camp]

Put him down Here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a little thing for you. Let me put this in your eyes. I don't feel good. All right. I killed the boy. You could have just thrown in the towel.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Lee Camp]

I didn't have a towel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're out of towels? So I put him down.

[Dave Anthony]

Then he'd be a coward.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I put him down, we forfeit. I killed my fighter with a syringe.

[Dave Anthony]

Imagine going 21 rounds and then losing. I mean, you are a bloody pulp. And there's no gloves. This is just fists.

[Lee Camp]

Oh, Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. Just dead. I mean, honestly. But this is your tartar and you're.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, I mean, we're going back to this with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Slap fighting.

[Dave Anthony]

I always bring this up when they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interview the slap fighters.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever watched.

[Lee Camp]

Have you ever seen CTA analysis of slap fighting?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are they just going to have a show where they're trying to get someone to have CT by the end of the broadcast?

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever watched on YouTube the guys who have created their own, like, small town slap fight leagues? And it's just. It's guys, you know, they're obviously trying to get YouTube followers, but, like, they are having a slap fight league in like somewhere way out in the middle of Ohio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's backyard wrestling.

[Dave Anthony]

It is just. Yeah, but it's worse somehow. It's the craziest thing you've ever seen. And they have like 10 episodes going to find the champion. Yeah, it's bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I'd say who's watching it? But I think we just found out.

[Lee Camp]

It's all Dave. It's all just Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave commenting.

[Dave Anthony]

Daddy, the dollop is the sponsor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would be great. I would love, you know, imagine our fans if we were just like. And we're also brought to you by slap fighting. The slap fight league is now live back with a new season. Who will be the champion?

[Lee Camp]

It's like these backyard wrestling leagues where it's like this is nails in eyeballs. Whoever gets the nail in the eyeball first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is so bad. It's bad, but it is what happens when everything's failing. You're like. The entertainment becomes gory. Graphic. Demented.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good sign is what I'm saying.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Bogus Dakota sufferers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't know they had Bogus back then.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Oh, interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I didn't know that was.

[Lee Camp]

Some guy came. It was delivered, I think in 75. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The word burgess now means bull. Cocky.

[Dave Anthony]

Swindler's working for east. For East. Oh, sorry. Swindler is working the east for money on sympathy for Dakota. Two strangers. This is out of Buffalo. Two strangers. Strangers representing themselves as a. A. Payne and Christopher Rot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My name is A. H. Payne.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, to be fair, they're calling themselves A. H. Pain and Rot. Like they're. They're not real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're not real. I'm Pain. Good to meet you.

[Lee Camp]

Have you seen that awesome little cafe restaurant, Ah Bone Pain? I like that place. It's. It actually has some great food there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So my. My elbow keeps cracking when I move it.

[Lee Camp]

Or we just serve coffee we're not so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I. What happened was I was. I was trying to. I was climbing a ladder in my yard to get leaves out of my gutter.

[Lee Camp]

Do you want a chapatis?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. Do you want some food?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have health insurance, but I can pay out of pocket.

[Lee Camp]

We could put a creamy soup on that. We can put a creamy soup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It doesn't work like it used to.

[Dave Anthony]

I can turn it into a soup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When the fellow comes over, if he could maybe take a close look at the elbow. I think it could be coming from the shoulder.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you talking about this? The cook?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. The bone pain? Yeah. Whoever the guy is, whoever the specialist is, just.

[Lee Camp]

Just dip it in. Dip it in the cream of broccoli for a little while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, it burns.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that'll go away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I think that's gonna do it.

[Lee Camp]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys have food.

[Dave Anthony]

Lick your arm, you idiot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A weird doctor's office.

[Dave Anthony]

A. A. Payne and Christopher Rot of Ellendale, North Dakota, have been here sometimes soliciting subscriptions for the people of North Dakota whom they represented to be suffering for food, clothing, and money. The mayor wrote to the governor of North Dakota and has received a reply that the men are not authorized to collect money, and adding that there are no doubt some cases worthy of charity in McIntosh County. But neither the county nor the state resources have been exhausted. A letter was also received from the governor of South Dakota saying the people did not need help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the best part.

[Lee Camp]

The governor took the time to be like, they don't need any help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The people are like, well, first of all.

[Dave Anthony]

So these guys are just. It's a scam. And. And their way to fight the scam is to reach out to the states and be like, hey, are you. Do you guys actually need anything?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And they're like, no. What are you talking about? Even though they didn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great charity, though. We're here. I'm going to start doing that. I'm raising money for South Dakota.

[Lee Camp]

My name is. You're rotten. And we're here to help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My name's Ouch Wound. And I'm raising money just in general, for Delaware.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. But South Dakota didn't have any. They weren't involved. They were raising money from North Dakota. The South Dakota governor just jumped in because there's nothing to do there.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah. There's nothing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

More evidence that there should only be one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Further evidence that we don't need two.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I wish Democrats were smart enough to know how to play the game. Because that's the. They should be doing. Oh, we're going to take Canada. We should actually make north one Dakota, South Dakota one Dakota. And just watch. You just put them would be Trump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Trump the Democrat would be doing that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then they'd ask him why and he'd be like, because we keep losing both of them.

[Lee Camp]

I'm going to name it Trump Dakota.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trump Dakota.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, last one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Let's go.

[Dave Anthony]

Sioux City mentioned Huron, Heronite.

[Lee Camp]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Maybe that's a city of some kind. Could be a number of capitalists. All right, here we go. Big ones. Well, nice. Went from Sioux Falls to Sioux City by mistake the other day, having had their special car attached to the wrong train.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awesome. Ah, perfect.

[Dave Anthony]

Ah, that's so great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Little things. It's the little things.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. That's a small victory. That's all we have. Small victories you get in America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All we have. It's like when. Like when a politician gets an egg thrown on him. You're like, that's all we got.

[Lee Camp]

What do you want to bed? Somebody was like, sir, do you want it hooked up to the. Just do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sir. Is it Sue? Sick. Stop. Just put us on the train anyway.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The air was eating oysters.

[Lee Camp]

Yeah. Back to the olives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The error was not discovered until they were approaching the city. When it was corrected in the quickest practice practical way. It is not the first time the.

[Lee Camp]

Capitalists letting it go off a cliff.

[Dave Anthony]

Through the car just set on fire and then pushed off a cliff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We just burned them alive inside the car.

[Dave Anthony]

Are. It is not the first time that capitalists have made a mistake in going from a South Dakota to an Iowa City. Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Capitalists capital. I love it.

[Lee Camp]

Is that is rich Rich. Is that just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it would be good to just kind of. We need to find the right grouping for the nightmare. It would be good to just be like these, I mean, oligarchs. I don't know. Is that working? That doesn't seem.

[Dave Anthony]

We should. We should be calling parasites. Parasites is good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Robber barons. Cunts is good. Well, Lee, cunts should be the last part we talk about while you're here.

[Lee Camp]

Wrap it up on that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So redacted.

[Lee Camp]

Unredacted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unredacted. I'm sorry, I remember redacted Russian misinformation show. But really is great. And. And you write it all on your own, which is, again, remarkable.

[Lee Camp]

Thanks, Man Weekly.

[Dave Anthony]

He's tired.

[Lee Camp]

I. I know you have a team of writers for this show.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. We got Dave and two dogs. Well, thank you for joining us, Lee.

[Lee Camp]

Thank you. Yeah, Unredacted night. You can find it on my link tree linktree.com Lee Camp, really appreciate you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you, Lee. Always a pleasure. Thanks, buddy.

[Dave Anthony]

Not always.

[Lee Camp]

Some of these days.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'Ll miss me, honey.

[Lee Camp]

Some of these days.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Dollop fans. I know you love the dollop. You love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five parter animation, which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode, I can't remember, of the rube, you can go to LakeSide Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the rube. It. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the rube.