119 - The Past Times with Ronny Chieng

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - Episode 119: The Past Times with Ronny Chieng

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Introduction

In Episode 119 of The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds, titled "The Past Times with Ronny Chieng," comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds delve into a slice of history alongside their special guest, Ronny Chieng. Released on April 4, 2025, this episode offers a humorous yet insightful exploration of early 20th-century newspaper articles, reflecting on societal norms, military quirks, and everyday life of the past.

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Guest Introduction and Banter (00:58 - 03:03)

The episode kicks off with Gareth Reynolds welcoming Ronny Chieng to the podcast. The hosts engage in light-hearted banter, teasing Ronny about previous appearances and playfully commenting on Dave Anthony's evolving appearance.

Ronny Chieng [02:04]: "So he's always been like that, but now his face matches the person, right?"

Dave Anthony [03:02]: "Oh, okay."

The friendly exchange sets a jovial tone for the episode, highlighting the camaraderie among the hosts and their guest.

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Primary Discussion: Phoebe Hunt, the Centenarian (03:12 - 10:04)

The trio begins by examining an article from the Hollis Times dated January 5, 1900, which chronicles the life of Phoebe Hunt, affectionately known as Grandma Hunt, who celebrates her 100th birthday. This piece serves as a window into small-town life in Hollis, New Hampshire, and the reverence held for elderly community members.

Dave Anthony [07:03]: "She kept an open house and greeted all who came in the same cordial manner, which has made her so well beloved about here."

The discussion touches upon Phoebe's longevity and the communal respect afforded to her, reflecting societal values of the time. Ronny Chieng and Gareth Reynolds interject with humorous observations about modern perceptions of age and health.

Ronny Chieng [07:11]: "They kept their posture straight, making her appear almost like she has scoliosis, but she's just thriving at 100."

The conversation segues into musings about historical life expectancy and the romanticized view of the past, with Ronny humorously questioning the plausibility of someone living to 100 in that era.

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Secondary Discussion: British Soldiers and the Boer War (10:14 - 22:07)

Transitioning to another article, the hosts explore the portrayal of British soldiers during the Boer War. The Hollis Times features an article titled "British Soldiers at Play," highlighting the soldiers' engagement in leisurely activities such as polo, golf, and football amidst the harsh realities of war.

Dave Anthony [13:11]: "The British soldiers chase their foxes and play foot races while shells are dropping around them."

Ronny Chieng and Gareth Reynolds dissect the juxtaposition of war and play, offering comedic takes on the incongruity of soldiers indulging in sports amid conflict.

Ronny Chieng [21:04]: "Playing golf in a war zone is very crazy."

The discussion extends to the strategic absurdity, questioning the military efficacy of such behavior and lampooning the glorification of British military prowess.

Gareth Reynolds [19:22]: "What makes you think this land that isn't ours at all is yours? It's ours."

The hosts critique the colonial mindset and the portrayal of British soldiers as both formidable and absurdly preoccupied with leisure, highlighting the humorous contradictions in historical reporting.

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News and Notes: Judas the Ox and More (26:00 - 43:52)

The podcast then shifts to lighter news snippets from the era, including the tale of Judas the ox, a crafty steer known for leading other cattle to their demise in the Chicago stockyards. The story anthropomorphizes Judas, attributing him almost heroic qualities despite his role in cattle extermination.

Gareth Reynolds [54:05]: "So Judas the cow is now, like, eight cow sizes. And they're like, Judas, what's going on?"

The discussion serves as a satirical take on animal behavior and human-animal relationships, blending dark humor with historical anecdotes.

In the "News and Notes for Women" segment, the hosts explore articles focused on women's roles during that time, such as raising mockingbirds and the introduction of women-specific fashion accessories like transparent driving veils.

Gareth Reynolds [57:12]: "Keep those legs together, girls. No one wants to sniff the clam."

Ronny Chieng's critique of the mockingbird's incessant noise adds to the humorous dissection of outdated societal expectations and gender roles.

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Humorous Interludes and Cultural Commentary (43:58 - 62:55)

Throughout the episode, Dave, Gareth, and Ronny intersperse their analysis with humorous reflections and modern-day parallels. Discussions range from the absurdity of early 1900s innovations—like one-fingered gloves—to the cultural implications of marketing and technological advancements.

Dave Anthony [33:49]: "Maybe it's time to bring it back."

Ronny Chieng's musings on cookbook narratives and the frustration with overly verbose recipe introductions resonate with contemporary audiences grappling with similar issues online.

Ronny Chieng [31:29]: "I also hate how we all talk about the algorithm like it's a mystery. It's like some human wrote it."

The trio also touches upon the early use of cocaine, humorously questioning the awareness and regulation of substances during that period.

Gareth Reynolds [44:15]: "Wow. I thought that was prime time. Cocaine was like sugar."

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Conclusion and Sign-Off (62:55 - End)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts wrap up their historical exploration with final humorous takes on driving accessories and the societal norms of the 1900s. Ronny Chieng expresses appreciation for the educational yet entertaining journey through "past times," while Gareth Reynolds briefly promotes his upcoming stand-up tours, blending the show's historical focus with contemporary endeavors.

Gareth Reynolds [63:24]: "You can go to GarethReynolds.com for all tickets of information."

The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks to Ronny Chieng and a playful farewell to listeners, maintaining the show's trademark blend of humor and insightful commentary.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ronny Chieng [07:11]: "They kept their posture straight, making her appear almost like she has scoliosis, but she's just thriving at 100."

• Dave Anthony [13:11]: "The British soldiers chase their foxes and play foot races while shells are dropping around them."

• Gareth Reynolds [21:22]: "What makes you think this land that isn't ours at all is yours? It's ours."

• Gareth Reynolds [54:05]: "So Judas the cow is now, like, eight cow sizes. And they're like, Judas, what's going on?"

• Gareth Reynolds [57:12]: "Keep those legs together, girls. No one wants to sniff the clam."

• Gareth Reynolds [44:15]: "Wow. I thought that was prime time. Cocaine was like sugar."

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Final Thoughts

Episode 119 of The Dollop masterfully intertwines historical narratives with modern humor, offering listeners both laughs and reflections on how much society has evolved—or perhaps, how much it hasn't. With engaging discussions, sharp wit, and the dynamic chemistry between Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and Ronny Chieng, this episode stands out as a testament to the enduring allure of historical comedy.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Ronnie Chang. Ronnie, thank you for joining us.

[Ronny Chieng]

Thanks. Thanks for having me on this thing. I have been on this before. We talked.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you've been on all. You've been on.

[Ronny Chieng]

You just said, finally we have this guy back. Finally have that guy on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back, back, back.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, you said, finally we have him on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll play the tape again. I mean, I'll stop the whole recording.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm just gonna. I'm gonna take the side of our guest and I just say, you're being rude. And you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, all right.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. And.

[Ronny Chieng]

And I do take your point, though, that Dave is becoming sexier. I haven't seen him in. In person in a while, and something's working for him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We had dinner the other night at a friend's house, and he showed up like he was gonna try to. And it was like there was one woman and she was married, and Dave showed up. Drink a gin.

[Ronny Chieng]

So he's always been like that, but now his face matches the person, right?

[Dave Anthony]

That's basically it.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now he's got that pervy gray beard. Ronnie, you're. Listen, I. You're doing very well. You're doing so well that you're. No, no, no. You're now in the stratosphere of when we ask what you want to promote, you don't even need it.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. That is success.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, it's just. Whatever. If I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have such a meager follow, what's the point of even. What's the point Promoting?

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The truth is, I got nothing to promote, so thanks for having me on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're great. You are crushing it, so there's no point. I would like to promote the Dollop tour. We're going on tour. This should probably be out after that. Who gives a. Okay, life's a prison. Life is hell. We're into it.

[Dave Anthony]

We have another tour in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no. It.

[Ronny Chieng]

Let me. Let me guess. You're going to Australia.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Actually, no.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't want to go out of the country because we might not be able to get back in.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a dream it would be.

[Ronny Chieng]

You guys were, like, the forefront of touring podcasts in Australia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

You guys were that first wave.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Since then, there's been so many waves that that first wave gets kind of. It's not as big of a wave as it used to be. And then that wave's drinking a lot more because the waves, like, I used to be so big, and now I'm just like a regular wave.

[Ronny Chieng]

You know what I mean? No. You guys, in Australia, you guys, everyone loves you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're very big here, too, Ronnie.

[Ronny Chieng]

I mean, yeah, you're big in America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Too, but we're so big. We're promoting on the podcast.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, we're the. We're. People call us the. The Joe Rogan of podcasting.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Which is huge. That's a huge compliment. You're the Joe Rogan of vintage newspaper podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a niche Rogan. We're a niche Rogan.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We still love mushrooms. Ronnie, the way. I don't know if this was the way we did it the first time you're on the show, but we're going. We're gonna guess what year this paper is from.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the winner gets nothing. So that's exciting. So if you would like. You can guess first. No, I will say no.

[Dave Anthony]

No clues. Just guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I will say you'll win no matter what, because Dave's a shithead.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, wait. Am I supposed to guess without hearing Dave at all?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Ronny Chieng]

Guess what the. Is this price is right. Without the. Yeah, that's right.

[Dave Anthony]

Wouldn't the prices right be better?

[Ronny Chieng]

So I have nothing to read off of other than Dave's face? Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Dave's face is looking pretty way back, though. It seems it's gonna be pretty far Back. I'm gonna go with 1930.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great. That's great. And that is what Dave. Dave's face to me is screaming, 1872. Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, it's 1900.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

We're close, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. No, I don't think.

[Dave Anthony]

Boom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Dave Anthony]

January 5th, 1900, the Hollis Times. From Hollis, New Hampshire. Close to where this cat is from.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, yeah. I used to live there. New Hampshire represent. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Ronny Chieng]

I used to live. And only now as an adult back in America do I know how random a place New Hampshire is to be?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, right.

[Ronny Chieng]

But when I was there, I thought it was great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's a pitch. Can we drop the New Hampshire do. I mean, we're not. We're not really, right? Do we need a separator?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, back then, everything was new. Everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, back then. I get it. Back then, they're like, holy fuck, New York. Now it's like, yeah, it's Hampshire. I'll fight this and I'll fight you.

[Ronny Chieng]

Dave, you want to drop the New from New Hampshire?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm ready to go Hampshire. And York. New York, too. It's just York now.

[Dave Anthony]

What about Jersey?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep it Jersey.

[Dave Anthony]

Jersey kind of already is. Nobody calls it Old Jersey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I want to call it, Old Jersey, because that's the smell.

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, then how are you going to differentiate it from your home homeland?

[Gareth Reynolds]

In England, nobody's making. Look, if someone's that lost, then we don't need them to survive.

[Ronny Chieng]

All right. Hampshire n. The New makes it. Dave is right. You can go Jersey without the New Jersey. The Hampshire is.

[Dave Anthony]

No, Hampshire sounds weird without anything else.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. Doesn't roll off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think the people listening are. Yeah, we're off topic, but the people listening are on my side. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Should we call Main A. Like, what do you want to do? How far do you want to take this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Call it manuscript.

[Dave Anthony]

You want to call it Michigan?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please start reading, please.

[Dave Anthony]

Hollis. Time is. There's no headline here. Ms. Phoebe Hunt, known as Grandma Hunt, was a hundred years old. Wednesday. That's old for then.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, 1900. 100 years old. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's 200 in today's years.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

She was born in Wyndham on January 3, 1800. She is the only centenarian in this section, if not in the state. Yeah, well, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's surprising.

[Dave Anthony]

There's like, eight people in New Hampshire at that point, so.

[Ronny Chieng]

Right. And one of them was 100 is crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She had to be Very ready to die.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I think at this, at this point you got to wonder if she's a witch.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Especially from the Northeast, like 100, 100 years now. Like, I wonder if, like, you know, if you're born in, in. If you were born in 1924 and you live till now, you'd be like, the world is different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God.

[Ronny Chieng]

If you're born in 1800 till 1900, you're probably like, ah, it was pretty much the same.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. You're like, oh, there's kind of a car.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. We had horses and wheels and fire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's better holes to poop in.

[Dave Anthony]

That's it. That's the biggest thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Better.

[Ronny Chieng]

And the whiskey's better, whiskey's worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now up to 50 of your kids live Crazy.

[Ronny Chieng]

Crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

We're going back. The event brought much joy to herself as well as to relatives and friends. She kept open house and arrayed in her best cap and dress, she greeted all who came in the same cordial manner, which has made her so well beloved about here and which many society people might well imitate. Okay, she's, she's lived strictly a temperate life, never smoking, as do some old time ladies. Always cheerful. She's fond of standing erect before one and saying, ain't I straight? Which indeed she is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I do that and that's a crime. I mean, isn't that like time?

[Ronny Chieng]

I know, I know English is my third language, but I have no idea what that meant. Like what?

[Dave Anthony]

I know. I've never heard of it in my life. Ain't I straight?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ain't I straight? She talking about posture. She like, wow, look at me. Yeah, cuz she's old. So she's like, her spine should be curving and she should look like scoliosis under skin, but instead she's just like.

[Ronny Chieng]

Ain'T as trait again in 1900s, even if you're perfectly healthy, you probably look like you're scoliosis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Got to look horrible.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, everyone has scoliosis. They didn't abnormal babies look, yeah, regular.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Spine people are like, look at you, John, you're ill.

[Dave Anthony]

She made a visit to Pelham last fall, riding in a wagon both ways. Many of our pastors have reason to thank her for the soft socks. She just knit them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so life well lived.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, that's a nice story to start out with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is very small town paper. Boring.

[Ronny Chieng]

She was. Yeah, well, she was an entrepreneur. She made her own socks. She had a car. She was still going around. She went to Pelham. I wonder how Far that is on a wagon.

[Dave Anthony]

It's got to be a ways if she.

[Ronny Chieng]

And also back then, you know, you go on a. On a wagon ride to Pelham at 100 years old, you probably would die.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

So she, you know, she was adventurous is what I'm saying. And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And straight. And straight.

[Dave Anthony]

Very straight curved.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

She's a straight old, alive thing.

[Ronny Chieng]

That's very heartwarming actually, to live to 100 in America now, much less now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's shocking. Well, I remember seeing like something where there's some city that has the most like in Japan where it's like the most hundred year olds.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they have like, they have a parade for you. So you, like, people are like, I'm gonna do it. And then they get a parade and everyone's like, way to go.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. I think they're called. They're called like blue zones, where people live to be a hundreds. I can't believe New Hampshire was a blue zone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Ronny Chieng]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No way.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No way. No. Now I. There are probably a couple of blue zones in America, but they have to be like Hawaii or they have to be like separated from.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From the mainland.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They cannot attach to this tumor.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, when you're in Hawaii, you're like, oh, airs. Air's clean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

How about that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the thing in that, in the blue zone thing that when you. You talk to the old people there, a lot of them are just eating sweet potatoes. They're just like potatoes. You're just like, wow.

[Ronny Chieng]

The secret was potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Always. British soldiers at play nice. There is one thing and not a new thing to be noticed about the British soldiers in South Africa, which bodes ill for the boors.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

It is that Tommy Atkins takes his luck in the field with the same matter of fact ease which in other times has made the British soldier seem unbeatable by any save of his own blood and bone.

[Ronny Chieng]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

I think Tommy Atkins is some kind of athlete. Right? That's what I would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he's the Atkins diet.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is maybe.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wait, that's him. It's also weird. It's also weird to. For you Americans to. At 1900s to praise the British like they were unbeatable, but America beat them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was tough because we love their colonialism, but also, you know, we're happy to be away from them. But we were like.

[Ronny Chieng]

You hated the T. Yeah, yeah, but.

[Dave Anthony]

We, we were back. We were back on board at this point. We liked him again.

[Ronny Chieng]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Because at some point we're both like hey, we both like killing.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, we both like such a. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Will they, won't they?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. It's, you know, I mean it's something you can't understand but killing non white people, it. It's. It's a really bonding.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's addictive. Yeah, it is, it is. I know. I read, I read like I read the 1776 book with and man they were fighting man the English and the. So this is 100 years earlier. They were like when the. I don't need to tell you guys this. You guys are well educated Americans who, who deal with history every single week. But like when, when the US declared independence from the UK Great Britain sent everybody to invade New York.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Like the book describes New York harbor as like the, the hundred ship invasion of. It was just all British ships. Everyone was their pants because the British were like, you guys want to be independent? Okay, well we're sending everybody. They sent everyone so invader. Yeah. And they still lost. It was crazy. It was crazy to fight a superpower and win America fighting. That was insane. But anyway, now they're fighting we.

[Dave Anthony]

Now we lose wars all the time. So we ourselves, we.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're losing a war inside of ourselves. Yeah, Pretty handily too.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. We're fighting wars that. Yeah. Just intangible cultural wars and we're losing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's good. His generals may walk into ambush and get him jolly well peppered with mouser leg jolly well pepp with mouser lead pencils so shot. That's what. Right, that's what that is Jolly well peppered with Mauser. That's. But he keeps his appetite and spirits and indulges in his sports whether it is in ladies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Point of this article, this article about. It's like a happy piece about a.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's a. It's a fluff piece for the British.

[Dave Anthony]

About how to play sports.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like Stephen Miller on the COVID of Vanity Fair. Like what makes it tick.

[Ronny Chieng]

Sorry Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

Sporting.

[Ronny Chieng]

What was the headline? Was that headline?

[Dave Anthony]

The headline was British soldiers at play.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Whether it is in Lady Smith, Kimberly or MIF King, the Britisher's chief concern when he is not rushing out to fight is that when off duty he may indulge in the same pastimes which would fill his chunky 12 stone body with joy on the green of his home village or in the fields of his squire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy shit.

[Ronny Chieng]

I guess Chunky was like positive in the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. I think there it sounds like he was just like skin and sausages.

[Dave Anthony]

What? Gareth, what's 12 stone?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, well, it's 14 pounds of stone, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot. Yeah, it's. It's. He's a big boy and he's indulging, so what he likes to do is fight. And then he's like Peter Dinklage, but fat and big.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. What's that in. What's that in kilograms?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, boy. Oh, we can't do. Yeah, converting. Okay.

[Ronny Chieng]

I'm sorry.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, baby. Come on over. Pounds, baby.

[Ronny Chieng]

Pounds. I still can't figure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can't.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, I can't figure out the. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's gotta be tough.

[Dave Anthony]

There's no reason to.

[Ronny Chieng]

Look.

[Dave Anthony]

It's all going away. We're gonna stop existing soon, so you don't need to keep knowing it.

[Ronny Chieng]

We'll learn it just in time to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't learn Fahrenheit.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The sons of most other races lie behind siege walls with straightened faces, tense nerves and beating hearts while they expect new strife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, are we in a. What are we in right now?

[Dave Anthony]

An article. So now he's talking about. Yes. In the. In the. In the fighting with the British. The other side are very tense and nervous, hiding behind walls in the war while the British play sports.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

But your blooming British beggar highs. H E H I E S. Is that a word?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Never heard of that. Hies himself to a comfortable corner behind the battlements where he may cut cards or shake the dice pot.

[Ronny Chieng]

That's not a sport.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His sport is cheating.

[Ronny Chieng]

His sport is degenerate gambling. His sport is rolling dice in a corner. That's awesome. That's really funny. And also, I think they were talking about. If I. The article, they say that this is British stationed in Africa. I think.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Okay. So who are they fighting in Africa?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the boars. Yeah, it's the Boer War. So it's the. Yeah. You're fighting people who want to. Want to live there.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ridiculous. It's such a funny. It's. Even war is such a funny, unfair term for what that is.

[Ronny Chieng]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fighting a war. We the cause of having everything and them wanting to exist. Jolly on. Then here's some dice. Yeah. And then you, like, see him out, like, playing dice, and he's like, hello. And they're like, jesus Christ. Oblivious.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Between scraps, he plays polo, golf and football, just as he does at home while shells are dropped around him. And Irish, Scotch or English, he thinks he is the luckiest soul on Earth to be what he Is. And as he is. This is crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is.

[Dave Anthony]

It's amazing. It's an amazing puppy.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. They. They play golf and. What was that? The other thing? Polo.

[Dave Anthony]

Polo and football. Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

The big three.

[Ronny Chieng]

They had a full on. You know, it was. It like. They had like an English country club.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

In the. In the war zone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they're also actively, you know.

[Ronny Chieng]

Killing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Killing. Probably like nearing genocide.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they're just like, I say, fancy a bit of a pony golf? Do you?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. To play golf in a war zone is very crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shells dropping around him.

[Ronny Chieng]

You're trying to drive this thing. You're trying to hit a nine iron into the hazard as the horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The horse is spooked again for some reason. Good Lord.

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, I. I wonder why. What was the. Do you guys know the context of, like, America's attitude towards that particular war.

[Dave Anthony]

In the bar war or the pro. Oh, they were. Oh, they were Dutch. So. So the. The boars were Dutch.

[Ronny Chieng]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So I take it all back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so they're. What? They're. So the English and the Dutch are fighting over Africa.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Of South Africa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That's so classic.

[Dave Anthony]

That's cool.

[Ronny Chieng]

Classic Europe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Classic white. Yeah, it's just classic Europe.

[Ronny Chieng]

White Europe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What makes you think this land that isn't ours at all is yours? It's ours.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sure people were screaming about that.

[Ronny Chieng]

That.

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't know that. But again, you'll find that I don't read about war. It is now. So in South Africa, it. We're still in the same story. It was so in Spain when, waiting behind their entrenchments for Napoleon to come and eat them, the British soldiers chased their foxes, sent far from home, ran foot races, wrestled and played their games. It was so when they followed Marlboro to meet the great Louie, taking along with them their spurring gamecocks and fighting dogs. That's not. That's. I feel that's not as sportsmanish.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wow. These British really liked their games. Right. They were like, yeah, we're gonna war. We're gonna bring our games.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's written like that Rolling Stone article about Bert Kreischer that got Van Wilder made. This guy's a cuckoo.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what is that about Napoleon eating? What does that mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, for Napoleon to come and eat them. Napoleon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are we.

[Ronny Chieng]

I think it's a metaphor. Okay. Yeah. And yeah. I mean, they're obviously referring to when the French came. The French attack England.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Were they cannibals, though? It wasn't eating people. Are you Saying, sure, yeah, why not? Okay. Feels like pretty ambitious.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, most people aren't cannibals that you accuse of being cannibals, so why not accuse the French?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trump will be doing that in no time.

[Ronny Chieng]

Eating people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, saying other people are eating them.

[Dave Anthony]

And while eating people, though, he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Well, he'll eat people.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. So the British are fun loving warmongers. That's right. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Good attitudes about.

[Dave Anthony]

Was. So when Charles watched Cromwell and the King Killer's Ironsides chased the Royalists. Only then both sides by turns fought and played games and love their sports betwixt their bloody battles.

[Ronny Chieng]

Do you think. Do you think the. So the superior officers were like yelling at them the way people yell at people using phones now? It's like, stop holding your game and stand to post.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got people coming in cutting cards.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

War guys.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seriously, it sounds like this article actually makes. If I was the Dutch reading this, I'd be like, let's just attack these folks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're overestimating their power.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they're all playing games all the time.

[Ronny Chieng]

They're playing games.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Polo.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, I'm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

War. Sounds okay.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, sounds. It's like a nice camp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

The dollop is brought to you by hilarious stand up comedy now on Hulu. Hey, everybody, you know Hulu, right? Yes, it's the streaming service Hulu. What other Hulu is there? Well, Hulu has a bunch of new stand up specials that are not just funny, they're hoolarious because they're Hulu and the specials are hilarious. I get it. You get it, right? Yeah, very funny, Hulu. Anyway, they're launching new exclusive standup specials from awesome comedians like Jim Gaffigan, Ulayna glazier, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr, Chris DiStefano, Jessica Kirson, and tons more. A new stand up special drops every month, so mark your streaming calendar. Plus, Hulu has a huge library of stamp specials to check out. So if you're ready to laugh your face off and find out what's really hilarious, go to Hulu and get your standup fix now. The member hastened to obey. Former member Reed had a great moral influence over the members and whether willingly or unwillingly they were want to obey his requests. One afternoon when the house lacked a quorum, one of its messengers was dispatched to hunt up an MC at Harvey's, a famous restaurant in town. Quote, the speaker would like to have you come up to the house as there is no quorum, said the messenger to the member who was enjoying a broiled lobster. You tell the speaker to go to thunders.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He said, I'm going to finish my lobster, guy. I don't know, but I hate government, but love this guy somehow.

[Dave Anthony]

Bring it back. Go to thunder. Bring it back. That needs to be a saying that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We say, so he can eat lobster.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, but that. That's a good New England man, right there.

[Dave Anthony]

It is.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. He's eating lobster and he's telling the whatever to go himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's not. They need a quar.

[Ronny Chieng]

Things never change.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'd be Ted Kennedy in, like, 50 years. Like, I'm having a blow job. Can't you see I'm in the middle of having my sucked.

[Ronny Chieng]

I mean, famously. You guys know. You guys know that, like, lobsters were like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they were like trash.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they still are to me. I think it's. It's like eating a rat. Like, why would you eat it?

[Ronny Chieng]

It's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would eat rat.

[Ronny Chieng]

You know, cockroach.

[Dave Anthony]

You would eat rat. Well, it's just an excuse to eat butter. Right? That's the whole thing with the lobster.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, it is. It's very much like the oyster. We've talked about the oyster before for where it's like anything. Where they're like, douse it so you don't taste it. But lobster is still gross. Okay.

[Ronny Chieng]

I mean, I think the. The thing with lobster is that you. The amount of meat you get per lobster is so, you know, you kill this thing and it's like, you get to eat, like, a tail. That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. And it's a lot of work.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, yeah. To crack it open. And also, by the way, lobsters are biologically. Lobsters are biologically immortal. So if we didn't eat them for their tail, they would live forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that true?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should not be eating them.

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, we kill them because they could live forever. But we.

[Dave Anthony]

That's why. Taking the Earth, they can take over the Earth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Humans. It is amazing because if we were ever to actually, like, dip into that, philosophically, we would be like, this is. Look, we believe in balance. But these, if they live forever, we should not eat them. And instead we have them in tanks. Like, help, Help. I'm like, that one looks juicy.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, it's awful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awful.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I don't eat them, so I don't know what.

[Ronny Chieng]

You know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I remember.

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, you should. It's actually delicious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're tasty.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I like the smaller version. I like the crawfish.

[Ronny Chieng]

Crawfish is even worse. It's like, you kill like 1 million of them to have, like a bite.

[Dave Anthony]

But the way people are like, eat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The brain, suck the brain. Like, that's where I'm like, not in.

[Dave Anthony]

Grow up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy that you're anti the thing with more meat and no brain sucking. And the tiny little version where you got to eat brains. You're like, now that I like. I love sitting in some weirdo's yard with eating off a newspaper.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. So the speaker would like to have you come up to the house as there is no quorum, said the messenger to the member who was enjoying his broiled lobster. You tell the speaker to go to thunder. I'm going to finish my lobster. Very well, sir, assented the messenger. I will do so. And he left the room hurriedly. But as soon as his back was turned, the belligerent member rushed down by the back stairs through a side door into a cab and was up at the house long before the arrival of the messenger. What the just happened?

[Ronny Chieng]

He chickened out. He. He talked tough, and then he got scared and then he went to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

He told the messenger to tell his boss to go himself. I'm eating lobster. And then he was like, actually, I'm a. And then he jumped in the cab and got there before the message.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he was probably eating with someone who's like, that's pretty important. He's like, I should go.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. It's the 1900s equivalent of unsending a message.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Yep.

[Ronny Chieng]

He unsend the message and he went.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you just see. You just see that? That's what I love on WhatsApp, where it's like someone deleted it. You're like, that's even worse. Are you doing over there?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, he unsen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Say to me.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, he got there before his own. You got to his boss?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah. And it must have been so satisfying when the messenger came in and was like, he told me to go to thunder. He was eating lobster. He's like, boy, what are you talking about? I've been here for 10 minutes.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Christ. Butter shining on his double chin. Sound like me.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you want to know the. You know one of the topics that are hot right now on newspapers.com?

[Ronny Chieng]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this okay?

[Dave Anthony]

I just noticed it. Number one is bread recipes. And then. So you're looking. You're looking through newspapers for old bread recipes.

[Ronny Chieng]

No people. I think I could see someone going like, I want to make a vintage bread.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I could definitely see that in Silver Lake I could definitely see that.

[Ronny Chieng]

Some hipsters going like, I want to make bread the way they made it in 18 when yellow fever was a. Oh, typhoid loaf. Yeah. When scarlet fever was a thing. I want to taste what that was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyone want a scurvy roll?

[Ronny Chieng]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Also Thomas Edison, the Invasion, 1939. Invasion of Poland, Bonnie and Clyde, the Ed Gein murders and Humphrey Bogart. That's what's hot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ed Gein murders.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Those are good nipple belts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Was it a nipple belt?

[Dave Anthony]

He made a nipple belt. Yeah. He also made lampshades from skin things.

[Ronny Chieng]

I love, I love how long you guys have been doing this, that you guys know all this. It's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is getting sad.

[Dave Anthony]

Look.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And when you know how sad it is when I know things, that's how. That's how we know the show's gone on too long. Like if I know things. Probably time to call it. Like, if I'm saying stuff like, wasn't that right when the canoe was invented? Yeah, it was. And I'm like, I remember that. It's like, what are we doing anymore? The whole ruse of this is knowing nothing.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, Ed Gein used the whole body, which is. Which is what, like Native Americans did with the buffalo. See, so maybe he is. Was more advanced that we give him credit for.

[Ronny Chieng]

He was many things, but he was also environmentally conscious.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he was. Yeah. Yeah. Ate the teeth, everything.

[Dave Anthony]

One fingered gloves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. That is mind bending. I can't really wrap my head around that one.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. Is it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that a mitten?

[Dave Anthony]

Is it a mitten? I don't know because is a mitten too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. Well, it's like I could see them having the great thumb debate back then.

[Dave Anthony]

Does the thought, is the thumb included in the one finger glove or is the thumb separate? That's what we're gonna find out.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's a glove with a penis.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's the penal glove.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've come up with a one fingered glove.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it fits here too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not. Straight.

[Dave Anthony]

Gloves had long been made in very great variety. But a novel thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What an awful. Like, if I was reopening this paper, I'd be like, I'm not reading this.

[Ronny Chieng]

You, you, you scroll, you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's that. No, let me get to some bread recipes. Yeah, it's. You know what it is like? It's like whenever you do open a recipe online and the first fudgeing page of it is just some weird dive into this weirdo's world. Or they're like, I've always really enjoyed eggnog, but the holiday season is so much more. You're just like, where's the fucking recipe? Like, that's what this is.

[Ronny Chieng]

Like, the intro's too long. The intro is too long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The history of gloves is pretty fast.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know why they do that? I found out. You want to kill them because Google made some sort of thing that your recipes would only get bumped up if you included a story or some sort of narrative before you got to the recipe crazy. So they made all of the people sharing recipes who wanted to get hits crazy. It's terrible. Everybody hates it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely awful.

[Ronny Chieng]

That's so stupid.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

And. And I also, on a kind of separate point, like, I also hate how we. We all talk about the algorithm like it's a mystery. It's like some human wrote it. So just tell us what the you want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly. Yeah, yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Stop with the mystery. And we have a whole sub industry of people who are. Who are hired to help you figure it out. Some guy made it. He just tell us what it. Just tell us what it is, we'll do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guy. Oh, that guy. The guy who is like, that guy.

[Ronny Chieng]

I think. I think recipes need a short story at the start, so we're going to, like. Just fucking tell us that. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's so musky. Just be like. And then there'll be a short story at the beginning of every recipe. Like, okay, now people need to show the end of what they're putting up first. They're like, al, are you okay?

[Dave Anthony]

Do you think people will buy fewer musk flavored treats in Australia now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Musk. Oh, what, like, musky. The scent. Musk.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a. It's a flavor down there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it?

[Ronny Chieng]

I know.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Like candy and stuff.

[Ronny Chieng]

I don't think so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Candy. Candy.

[Dave Anthony]

Something else.

[Ronny Chieng]

Musk is a scent. I know. I don't know about candy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've never heard of.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe if you.

[Ronny Chieng]

If you go to Australia, I think you'll be unfortunately surprised. Surprised at how many people outside of America are maga.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, musk. A musk stick. A musk is a. It's a thing.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, man. You know about Australia? I never heard of a. Must.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Never heard of a mustache.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, there's a whole. They're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what impregnated Grimes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mic. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

Gloves have long been made in very great variety struggle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The gloves have often been made. Why? Just tell me what's happening. Gloves have always had quite a ride.

[Dave Anthony]

But a novel thing in this line is a one fingered glove, or perhaps it might be called a one fingered mitten in which the thumb and first finger are provided for precisely as they would in any glove, with a covering for each, while the other three fingers are enclosed in a mitten like part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Actually very lobstery. It's a very lobster clawed design. So you get a free finger, a thumb, and then you lump in the three. Ronnie is doing actually a very impressive job. There's really good dexterity on that.

[Dave Anthony]

It's Star Trek. Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

This is Ninja Turtle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that is ninja. That's what that. Yeah, that is what it was.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. And this. No, this is dumb.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. Pick a lane. Are you a glover?

[Dave Anthony]

Because what we're saying is just do a glove, Right?

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, I'm saying if you, if you want to do some dexterity, some put some articulation into your glove, you wouldn't do thumb, first finger, and then three fingers because that's uncomfortable. You would do thumb, two fingers and then another.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're pitching hoof. Okay.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, but even that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's not great, but I get that A little more. Yeah, the Spock lock.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I say pick a lane. Well, look, obviously it didn't last because. Yeah, I've never heard of this style of glove or mitt, I guess. Yeah, it's a glitton.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe it's time to bring it back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's not what anyone's saying.

[Ronny Chieng]

The Japanese, like invented like the boot that had a separate toe. I think it's called like a Toby thing. Where they were the first people to like put a slit in the boot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Ronny Chieng]

Army boot. So that the toe was separated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

And then that allowed them to basically conquer half the world because they figured out.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, what just happened?

[Ronny Chieng]

So amazing.

[Dave Anthony]

Because it was more comfortable for them.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, because they were able. They were able to grip slippery ground more in Southeast Asia. And so they just had a grip advantage and they, they just defeated half of Asia.

[Dave Anthony]

These are the kind of facts that Joe Rogan loves.

[Ronny Chieng]

And I think you separate the toe, you conquer the world, you separate the mitten and you get nothing. Yeah, you get like a. You get arthritis. You know, I mean, because you got to do that the whole time and then you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, so it hurts. Yeah, finger pain.

[Ronny Chieng]

Good idea. Wrong body part. And it's the difference between, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'S what the America was doing. He was like, what. What happened with this we're gonna do. We're gonna conquer the world with our free figured mitten. Like shark tank. They're like, we see your margins. They're not good.

[Ronny Chieng]

Dude, shot tank is hilarious. If this was the first shot tank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So great. Welcome to Glitton Out. Right away.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, mittens are warmer. But a driver must wear gloves or have at least one finger free to enable him to handle the reins. Oh, so this is before like a car. So you gotta have.

[Ronny Chieng]

Holding the reins.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Have a glove.

[Ronny Chieng]

Have we have it? Yeah. Have a glove.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Backward step. We don't need it.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The one fingered glove is made for the special convenience. With the thumb and forefinger free, he can handle all the lines. All right. While his hands, he can do way more for the west for the rest of them. Protected as they would be by mittens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You guys just don't get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's just obviously very stupid.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. One finger gloves are also bought by shipping clerks and bookkeepers and others around markets. Yeah. Because you gotta.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Again, you cannot pitch me on the great advantage of having one fingered free when we have five.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, maybe you don't want these three fingers to be lonely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Super weird pitch.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what I mean?

[Ronny Chieng]

I take it back. I was being stupid. I said you should go one, two fingers and two fingers. I'm assuming your hand is open all the time, but if your hand is closed all the time, then the 1 1, 3. Actually, you. You know, if you do finger. If you do finger. Yeah. It's reporting guns. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Finger guns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't, I don't hate the double. I still like this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I don't think that's as useful as the. Yeah, because the finger pointing. What if you're a guy who does this all the time?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that, that's like, literally the target is like the shooter audience. He's like, unfortunately, the mitten does not provide me my separating point. And sir, let me show you the glitton. Now, this is great.

[Dave Anthony]

Where. Where more or less of the business must be attended to outdoors. A man can't very well handle a pencil with mittens on his hands, but he can swing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You gotta pick a lane. You gotta pick a lane. Are you writing or are you. You know what I mean? You take it off. It's actually very similar, you know, the glove technology now where they're like, you can use your phone. With the glove, they don't work either. There's not. You know what I mean? It's gloves. It's just gloves.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's just gloves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pick a lane.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, it's gloves. We don't need to reinvent the glove. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trying to like text with a glove on is very maddening now. Yeah, they're like, yeah, go ahead.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, no, you go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have nothing.

[Ronny Chieng]

Sorry, No, I was just gonna. Is this like an ad or is it like an article?

[Dave Anthony]

No, this is just a story.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's probably an ad.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's really not. It's just. That's just a guy. Because the next story is about a rough rider's bicycle. A cycle designed to go over rough country has been tried on the Horse Guards parade. For the purposes of the trial. The parade was made into rough country with slabs of timber and miniature heaps of brick. The machine is said to have cleared these with ease and its writer to have cleared them with comfort. If this be so, the public will soon be a better customer for the invention then the War office. Half success is better in such a contrivance than none at all. The cycle is exceptionally sensitive to obstruction. And anything that tends to brace its nerves against ordinary difficulties of that sort will be a great boon. Dirt bike.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was.

[Ronny Chieng]

It was like reading. Not many people could read back then, and they also. They also made the language really tough. So even if you could read, you couldn't understand what was.

[Dave Anthony]

I know.

[Ronny Chieng]

You know?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they put way too many words in. Constantly.

[Ronny Chieng]

Too many words. And it's. Yeah, it's very comp.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, this is how you do this story. Hey, they made a. They made a bike that can go over rough road. We gotta like, bricks and. Yeah, it rides over bricks.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. This might have been the. This might have been like the Tesla of the day. People were like, whoa, this bike can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go over rocks because if you tried to take it up a rock, it wouldn't move.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, but this one could.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I guess.

[Ronny Chieng]

Was it like a penny farthing, one with the big front and the small bag or.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. But I will say that I do believe the Boer War had. Was the first time that people used bicycles in the war.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's hilarious.

[Ronny Chieng]

Which war?

[Dave Anthony]

So that's in the Boer War, the one we're just talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The bicycle. That didn't last very long, it seems, did it? The bike.

[Dave Anthony]

The bike in war.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know, but I feel like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Move past that pretty. I mean, imagining people. Bikes for war.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is good times.

[Ronny Chieng]

It was a good like two months of that tech. Yeah. Before it became.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, imagine like trying to bat like. I think that would. Like. The horse does all the work for it. You don't need to like, focus on what the horses, the bike. I would Imagine when there was incoming fire, you would just be like, oh, yeah. It just resulted in a lot of British people on there. Like, oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Harder to shoot out from under you.

[Ronny Chieng]

How to shoot on the bicycle as well, because you got a bag.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, maybe.

[Ronny Chieng]

I love how, like. Like, you know how, like, like 90 of our. Our society and technology is from military technology. It's pretty cool. Yeah. It'll be pretty wild if, like, bicycles were invented for war. I didn't even.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. It's just something like Q would pitch to James Bond, like, his next item. James. It's called a wool bike.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh. And that's how, like. And that's how, like, what's it called, like, X Games BMX biking was. Came from that. Yeah. You know. You know those. What do you call the dress? You know, dressage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Dave is a big dressage guy.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. The horses, the little dancing. Yeah. And then someone was asking what. What that was like, how does that relate to war? Because all the Olympic Games are like war games. Right. You know, like, javelin is like throwing the spear. And then, you know, and marathon was like scouts scouting and then running back to tell the general the information. Dressage. Yeah. So dressage was. Was it? Yeah, it was. It was. After you killed someone on your horse, you trained your horse to stomp on them so they would die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's way fucking darker than what I imagined.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Yeah. So dressage was like, if you injure your opponent, this horse will come and finish the job by, like, stomping on his head. Yeah, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got really mixed feelings about that, but I'm pretty much in. And I think we should bring it back where if you're performing dressage, you should have, like, someone you don't like under your horse.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Competition that should be allowed to stomp them.

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, I'm sure that's what they're visualizing, the competitors. They're like, wow, this guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Has a sport ever become less exciting from one move? You take out the horse. Murdering dressage is like, what are we watching?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. Just horses doing the tango.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That's really insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

This is just a blurb. Since the dawn of history, those nations which have flourished most have cultivated some form of athletics, man.

[Ronny Chieng]

Really? On this.

[Dave Anthony]

But everybody does. All. All countries have athletic. Every. It's. Everybody has that. There's nobody.

[Ronny Chieng]

This is the New York Post. Why is this so pro sports?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And a man is a man when he's doing it. Period.

[Ronny Chieng]

Good guys just love sports. Really. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The next article is about Kids using litter bike.

[Dave Anthony]

The cocaine habit is spreading death and desolation throughout this country. It would seem about time that the law making process, both state and national, should make some move to prevent the spread of the nefarious traffic in the drug.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Ronny Chieng]

1900S, I thought they were all down.

[Dave Anthony]

With cocaine, but I think, I think they're now starting to realize like, hey man, this is getting kind of weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really?

[Ronny Chieng]

In 1900s? Wow. I thought that was prime time. Cocaine was like sugar. They just put some coke in your, you know, whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doing bumps off of lobsters.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, yeah, I thought that, man. 1900s there was some guy was like, hey listen, this is a problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great run though. Like, I mean it really takes so much for us as a society to be like, everyone's getting a little crazy. Like everyone at 5am like they're kind of geeking out a little bit. Like they're getting annoying. Like just at a saloon with some guy. Like, never also tell you about the time that I drank all that ale out of a barrel, but the guy didn't even know. Like, yeah, you'd ever tell you about that time. You're like, jesus Christ, saloon's weird.

[Ronny Chieng]

Where did they. Did you guys know where they like. Cocaine wasn't coming from Mexico back then, right?

[Dave Anthony]

It was, I think it was, it was.

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, okay, okay. All the way to northeast. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. You couldn't get.

[Dave Anthony]

Well because it was a. It was a pharmaceutical. So the, the pharmaceutical companies would have been the ones buying it and pushing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Handing your pharmacist the prescription for cocaine.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm just so. Doctor, listen, on Friday I have. It's called a party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, you're going to. You want to have a good time?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going to write you eight milligrams. We're calling this an eight ball. Eight milligrams of church.

[Ronny Chieng]

And.

[Dave Anthony]

And I'm going to Vegas also the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Next week is what I do. If this chach is too much and they don't have it, get low grade booger sugar. It's the same thing.

[Ronny Chieng]

Do you think those guys who were like, were thinking like, hey, we should just produce this in the US Was there ever u. S made cocaine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I've had it and it's pretty much baking soda. It's like, somehow it doesn't make you chatty, but your dick still shows drinks. This is all downside.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wow. And. And this guy who was writing about is probably in the minority, right? He was like, hey, cocaine might be bad for us. I was like, shut Up. Shut the up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Chuck.

[Dave Anthony]

This guy. What are you doing, Larry?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or the pharmacist has to explain to you. Like, has anyone explained to you how to use cocaine? All right, you're gonna want to. If you're at a bar, go to the bathroom, put it on the toilet seat.

[Dave Anthony]

In my gums. Can I put that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you want to do it? That's called a gummer. That's a good idea. Okay, yeah, absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Can I put some in a cigarette?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Yeah, you can actually snow cap it. We call it go for it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's best if I have a look. Looking glass. And you put it on your looking glass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Can I mix it with a downer?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're going to want to. If you want to try to go to bed about 5, 6 in the morning, you're going to want to take a little Xanax. Let me write you a little prescription for that. Hey, how great is our society, by the by?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Now we do this with fentanyl and oxy. Anywho, A citizens of Elder, Pennsylvania, has started and carries on a nitroglycerin and dynamite factory. Sorry, a citizen S. So a lady. A citizen S has started and carries on a nitroglycerin and dynamite factory. A miss of Rochester owns and operates a butcher shop. Two women of Passaic, New Jersey, have just been arrested for turning an illicit distillery. And yet there are some men mean and prejudiced enough to deny the advantages of female higher education. Wow.

[Ronny Chieng]

What a weird turn of the article. It became a pro female education article.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, is he saying that ladies can get it done?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gonna go to a recipe any second.

[Ronny Chieng]

He.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This.

[Ronny Chieng]

This. This guy is pro suffrage. He was like, women should be in school. Look, they made illicit nitroglycerine and explosives. So, yeah, clearly they can handle the workload.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And they're doing it without cocaine.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, yeah, that is very, very progressive for 1900 to be like, let's educate women. It was like, I told you we shouldn't have let them wear pants. Listen to what's happening now. Now they want schools, then they're gonna stop us.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's also amazing that they, like, in the. That they got arrested for it because you figure in the 1900s, nobody was arresting anyone for anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's so.

[Ronny Chieng]

And these dudes were. They got arrested for. For making explosives. Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

That's such a specific.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

You know, like, someone had to, like, someone had to, like, find out and then they had to alert someone who cared.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It had to be. It has to be egregious for them to be like, even murder. They'd be like, stop doing that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

They were like, either handle it yourself or so, man, these. These women, I wonder. Good for them, I guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Judas the betrayer. The decoy steer of the Chicago stockyards and his work. One of the sites of the great cattle yards in Chicago is an old white ox named Judas. An ox may rise to eminence by his cunning and wisdom as well as a man. And Judas has risen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is such a weird. This is like a Disney plot.

[Dave Anthony]

He came to the yards a good many years ago and while he was yet a frisky steer. And he was immediately purchased by one of the great packing houses and driven from the train to a distant yard. The life of most animals at the cattle yards is very short. A week at most. A few days after the arrival of Judas, the herd of cattle which occupied the pen with him was selected for killing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Select it. Congratulations, boys.

[Dave Anthony]

It's time. I hope you had a good week. The way to the packing house led down a long alley way at alleyway with high fences on each side, then up a narrow chute and into the building. And for some reason, the cattle seem to know what is coming for. They always object to being driven up the chute. Well, they smell them. They smell the death. That would be the thing. Animals don't run towards death. So that would be the thing is they're like, it smells like death. So they. They had this amazing cunning where they're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, don't go to probably hear the screams inside.

[Dave Anthony]

Screams of the other cow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's probably not great.

[Ronny Chieng]

I also, I. I know. I. I don't preempt this story. I don't know how it's going to end, but like it, you know, considering how religious everybody was back then, why would you name something Judas?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's throwing me off a little bit.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess there's going to be a betrayal is coming up.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. But, yeah, it's got to be. Judas was no exception. He plunged madly about among the herd, and the cattlemen had more trouble with him than any other. And now there's a little illustration of Judas in action. And it's basically just a steer walking down a area near a building.

[Ronny Chieng]

But you got to love the illustrations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know they were like, saying to the artist, like, look, we don't have time. But he was supposed to be, like, really upset. I don't know what to tell you, dude.

[Dave Anthony]

At last, however, he seemed to Realize that sooner or later he must go. And he made a. A virtue of a necessity, trotted quietly up the chute, and the other cattle followed after him. Thus he ran until he had just reached the door of the packing house. Then he turned and galloped down a side passage and escaped while the other cattle went onward into the building. So he found a. Okay, so I just want to say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, as a heartwarming story.

[Dave Anthony]

I. I'm not a guy. Yeah, it is our story. I'm not a guy who killed one cow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lived.

[Dave Anthony]

But if you're killing cows, would you not have a door for one to run out?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Would you not have an escape door?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, obviously.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've gotta have. Yeah. No, if they want it bad enough.

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, that. The escape door is for the breeding. That's the one you select to breed the next batch. Because, you know, this guy's the strongest.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Smartest and strongest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Judas had been so very clever that the good natured, natured cattleman let him go for that day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. They're killing hundreds of cat. The good natured cattlemen.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're what, a bunch of sweethearts.

[Dave Anthony]

They're being nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So sweet.

[Dave Anthony]

For geniuses to be appreciated and steer as well as a man. The next day, however, they drove him up again with another herd. And this time he made not the slightest objection, but trotted forward quietly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The other steer, horrendous.

[Dave Anthony]

This is like a confident leader. They behaved admirably.

[Ronny Chieng]

Okay, so this is. It's probably gonna end like Charlotte's web, I guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, honestly, like the fact that there was one feel good moment, and they're like. And the next day, Judas was ground beat. Okay. Awesome. What the.

[Dave Anthony]

Just as Judas reached the door of the building, he dodged again so suddenly that the men couldn't turn him and escaped as he had done before, while the herd behind him went craning into the killing room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. We know what's happened. Just highlight Judas. Stop telling us that. Every other one was dead within 30 seconds. And 80 others went on what they called a shock floor.

[Dave Anthony]

This is like. It's like the movie the. The Killing Field, where that lady wakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Up in the killing field, but Judas got it again.

[Dave Anthony]

Since then, Judas has been a regular employee of the cattle yards every day. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We now have him shepherd his friends.

[Dave Anthony]

That's why they're calling him Judas. Every day he leads up a herd of cattle, and every day he dodges just at the door of the building. So he's leading his fellow Cows to their death.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

So Judas is a piece of.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah. What a piece of. That's awful. Christ, that's awful. When, you know, desperate times, people do cows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That is. This. We've heard of this. We don't even need to cite the nightmarish people who take that role. But, yeah, it's fine. I mean, I'm still here, aren't I? Trust me, I'm doing fine. Awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm doing fine. He has saved the Cattleman no end of trouble and delay with a riotous herd since he began his service he has grown fat and sleek on the good living in the arch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So Judas the cow is now, like, eight cow sizes. And they're like, judas, what's going on? He's like, hey, fellas, let me show you to paradise. Just follow me over this way through.

[Ronny Chieng]

This alleyway and ignore the blood and the screams.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Judas, why are all these. It was just screams of joy. Follow me a little further. Oh, you're gonna love what's behind these doors.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's blood of blood of joy, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you so excited you're gonna squirt some out of you? You boys are about to have the time of your life. No man just, like, gets handfuls of more grass, like.

[Dave Anthony]

So highly are his services regarded that the Cattlemen provide him with a white blanket on cold days to keep him comfortable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is insane.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sorry, boy. It's time to put on my smock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, he's like Cruella deville. He's like, I have a code of dalmatian. Judas, what's going on? Don't worry about it. He's got, like.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that chinchillo pit cane?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Follow me, fellas. Let me show you how to dig these cool cats. What's going on with you? Judas took a human wife.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, you. You got blood on my chinchilla coat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna be murdered extra bad. I mean, you're gonna go extra paradise today. By the way, have I introduced y'all to Shelly? We're engaged.

[Dave Anthony]

And thus he is living to a green old age. But he bears the disrespectful name of Judas the Betrayer.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wow. I see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was.

[Ronny Chieng]

He was named after the fact. I thought I was like, why would you call this cow before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's a real nature nurture. If you name him Judas, yeah, that's what. Become a real betrayer. That is nuts.

[Dave Anthony]

This is. This is a little section called News and Notes for Women.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's gonna be awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep those legs together, girls. No One wants to sniff the clam.

[Dave Anthony]

What 1900 new jewel boxes. Treasure box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Blinking is a huge turnoff.

[Dave Anthony]

Treasure boxes for the odds and ends that get lost so easily if scattered about. The dressing table are circular in form of substantial Russian leather and fitted with a glass topped cover. Though this circle of glass, one can see what is in the box without unscrewing the lid, which is an advantage for the time pressed. Modern butterfly. That's. This was for women.

[Ronny Chieng]

I guess that was the. Like the page that the husband would be like. You can read this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, here's your section. Read about your little box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dirty money. There you go, Gladys. Now shut up for eight minutes and read that, would you?

[Dave Anthony]

There's some in this about your knickknack box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Good news. Now you can finally see through it without unscrewing it, you idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

One woman's pleasant occupation raising mockingbirds is furnishing a southern girl with an interesting occupation and good income. Her brothers catch the young birds in the nest before they learn to fly and convey them to the cages where as they grow, they are taught nearly everything in the way of a song or whistle that a mockingbird can acquire. And that is a great deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me not for the mockingbird.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the mockingbird is the worst bird. There's no worst bird on earth. The mockingbird is a hellish nightmare. They never shut the fuck up. They are just constantly screaming other bird noises. They're a terrible bird and they. They should all be caged like this.

[Ronny Chieng]

They're the ones that featured in that Looney Tunes cartoon where there was two black birds who are being total dicks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think they're crows.

[Dave Anthony]

I think they're crows. Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

Okay. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now the mocking.

[Dave Anthony]

The mockingbird, literally, the mugging bird, literally is a mountainbird. It just hears another bird and then does their sound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

And the. But the problem is a lot of times they like do it in the middle of the night because that's when they do their mating and they wake up.

[Ronny Chieng]

Eddie Murphy of birds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

They can do. They can do anyone. If they listen to it for five minutes, they can do anybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They mimic it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love it. In the middle of the night to do another bird's mating call to like try to other birds. That's awesome.

[Ronny Chieng]

Is that why they're doing it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so great.

[Dave Anthony]

The boy of birds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the bird. That'd be so awesome. Yeah. Just like a woman's like, oh, I think there's a cardinal up there. Hey, it's like catfishing. It's og Catfishing birds. You're not a cardinal. I'm not, but I'm really not a. How are you?

[Ronny Chieng]

Oh, no. They could go. They could just keep it up and be like, I. I am a cardinal. Would a cardinal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why they do it at night.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come out of the shadows. I shouldn't. Now lift up your feathers or whatever. However we do this.

[Dave Anthony]

However we do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Show hole.

[Dave Anthony]

After a course of instruction, the birds are rented for $50 a season. To the visitors who winter at the hotels and cottages. The birds furnish pleasant entertainment for invalids who spend a large part of their time indoors and will pay a price for the companionship of these faithful creatures.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is wild.

[Ronny Chieng]

Wow. They were like the first, like Spotify or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, seriously.

[Ronny Chieng]

And 50 bucks was a lot of money, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

In 19. It's a lot of money now.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ronny Chieng]

19. 1900. 50 bucks was like, you could buy a house or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Invalid. We want to do one more real quick, Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

One last one. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

A new. This is also in the lady section. A new veil recommended especially for driving has a transparent eye shield underneath.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is why through the old driving veil, just a sheet. What innovation is it to have a veil you can see? Good news, ladies. You. You've all been whining about how important vision was while operating a motor vehicle. Those days are over. Yeah. Seeing is believing.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. A transparent eye shield, underneath which it is said to protect the eyes from the dust is. Has becoming qualities too, without which a veil must not seek favor, no matter how useful it may be as a screen. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'S amazing that it's for dust. That's like the saddest.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just so weird. What about goggles? People like goggles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Dry. Hey, girls, how about some driving goggles?

[Dave Anthony]

A veil?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But why. But so men are just driving around without the dust. Really throws me for a loop in this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, your face is getting dusty. Yeah, sure.

[Ronny Chieng]

But like, I mean, these, these want. They want driving Ferraris, you know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's. That is very true. Like, so it.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I mean, you're talking about dirt roads, so I just think there's dust everywhere.

[Ronny Chieng]

I mean, but there was dust everywhere outside the roads too, you know?

[Dave Anthony]

True.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, true. If it would be worse walking while cars.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, no, that's true. Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's just. And our solution is veil only the women.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here you go, girls. Cover those stupid eyes.

[Ronny Chieng]

When I. When I. When I think 1900s, I do think dusty, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I do too.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I remember one thing I remember about like, I don't even know the D. I don't remember what year the Dust bowl was. But the one thing that always sticks with me is that if you had any plates or anything, everything had to be turned upside down before you used it. That and I'm like, I just can't wait to get back to it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we're coming back. There was a big dust storm in Dallas last week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go. Perfect ending. Ronnie, thank you for joining us.

[Ronny Chieng]

No problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Learned so much.

[Ronny Chieng]

I learned so much. Thanks so much for having me on. I love these. I think you guys really educating everyone on how much it sucked in the world in the past times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we're working. That's if we were to cut a promo that would 100 end up in it.

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's like when they say the name of the movie in the movie, it's just like, I don't know. I just have a beautiful mind. Well, thanks so much, Ronnie. Appreciate.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, I love you guys. Thanks so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go yourself.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'Ll miss me, honey. Some of these days. Hey there, doll heads. This is Gareth Reynolds. You know me, I'm from the Gare Force, part of the Dolla podcast. Love you, doll heads. Listen, I'm going to be doing some stand up comedy. You can go to GarethReynolds.com for all tickets of information. Naples, Florida, March 24, Charlotte, April 13, Raleigh. April 14. Virginia Beach, Virginia. April 15, Richmond, Virginia. April 16, Magoobies in Lutherville, Baltimore, whatever the hell you want to call it. April 17, April 18. April 19. Then I'll be in Winnipeg, Canada, May 29. May 30. May 31. I'll be in Chattanooga, Tennessee on August 8. August 9, go to garethreynolds.com I'll also be in the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins the following weekend. More dates being added. Coming at you. GarethReynolds. Com. You're part of the Gare Force, not the Garmy. Stop calling it that. It's getting weird. Another guy has that. It's Gare Force. Please help me. Love you mean it. Garethreynolds.com.