125 - The Past Times with Naomi Ekperigan

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds Episode 125 - The Past Times with Naomi Ekperigan Release Date: May 16, 2025

Hosts:

• Dave Anthony
• Gareth Reynolds
• Guest: Naomi Ekperagin

---

Introduction and Welcome (00:34 - 01:44)

The episode kicks off with a humorous welcome as Gareth Reynolds introduces the show’s format: delving into historical newspapers selected by Dave Anthony. This week, they welcome their returning guest, Naomi Ekperagin, affectionately dubbed the "first guest in our studio."

Notable Quotes:

• Naomi Ekperagin (00:55): "We found love in a hopeless place."
• Gareth Reynolds (01:00): "Don't stop."

The trio engages in playful banter about their appearance and the dynamics of having Naomi in the studio, setting a lighthearted tone for the episode.

---

Main Story: The Check Swindler Shootout (02:02 - 11:25)

The core of the episode revolves around a 1922 newspaper article from Brazil, Indiana, detailing a dramatic confrontation between police and an alleged check swindler, William Hansen.

Key Events:

1. Police Chase:

   • Hansen attempts to cash a fraudulent American Express check.
   • Police officer Captain Michael Glenn apprehends him, leading to Hansen’s escape attempt on the fire escape of the Circle Theater.
   • A shootout ensues, with Hansen firing at the crowd and police reciprocating as they climb the fire escape (04:10 - 14:33).

2. Consequences:

   • Hansen falls severely wounded but survives by grabbing the rope of the fire escape, despite losing part of his hand (26:00 - 27:10).
   • Captain Glenn escapes unharmed by grabbing the rope, while Hansen suffers injuries but is expected to recover (26:16 - 27:10).

3. Legal Outcome:

   • The episode humorously speculates on the legal implications of Hansen’s actions, including temporary insanity defenses and the straightforward nature of early 20th-century law enforcement (28:00 - 31:37).

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony (05:24): "Número 22. Here we go."
• Naomi Ekperagin (10:27): "Mike Glenn is a second traffic cop? These are..."
• Gareth Reynolds (27:05): "That came out better."

The hosts dissect the absurdity and dramatization within the newspaper reporting, blending historical facts with their comedic interpretations.

---

Side Discussions and Humorous Interludes (11:25 - 35:22)

Throughout the episode, the hosts veer into various tangents, maintaining an entertaining flow:

1. Amigo Chino and Social Media:

   • They discuss a real-life figure, Amigo Chino, who escapes on TikTok by uploading his adventures, highlighting the blend of modern social media antics with historical storytelling (16:28 - 21:43).

2. Pranks and Consequences:

   • The conversation shifts to modern-day pranks gone wrong, such as Luigi Mangione’s incident at a mall, drawing parallels to historical events (20:10 - 21:10).

3. Radish Debate:

   • A humorous debate ensues over the merits of radishes versus Brussels sprouts, paralleling the detailed and sometimes nonsensical reporting of old newspapers (34:03 - 38:13).

Notable Quotes:

• Naomi Ekperagin (11:12): "But also, it's a bad check. Wouldn't you just be like, don't cash the check?"
• Gareth Reynolds (35:18): "Radishes are maybe the worst vegetable."
• Dave Anthony (38:09): "Are you still reading the stupid articles?"

These segments showcase the hosts' ability to interweave historical analysis with contemporary humor, keeping listeners engaged through relatable and amusing topics.

---

The Mayoral Address: Ms. Mary McFadden vs. Male Vampires (56:10 - 63:02)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on another intriguing newspaper headline about Ms. Mary McFadden, an 80-year-old mayor combating "male vampires" during Prohibition.

Key Points:

1. Ms. McFadden’s Speech:

   • She humorously compares enforcement efforts to a small boy trying to dry Lake Erie with a cotton sponge, emphasizing the futility and grandiosity of Prohibition enforcement (56:17 - 59:22).

2. Vampire Legislation:

   • McFadden outlines her anti-vampire agenda, blending the absurdity of fictional vampire warfare with real historical policies (61:00 - 62:26).

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds (56:17): "Earth was like a small boy trying to dry up Lake Erie with a 1oz sponge."
• Dave Anthony (61:41): "I think it's time yeah. Go after the vampires."
• Naomi Ekperagin (59:30): "They want help."

The hosts use this fictionalized account to explore themes of law enforcement, societal fears, and the interplay between reality and myth, all while maintaining their signature comedic style.

---

Conclusion and Final Thoughts (64:07 - 66:32)

As the episode nears its end, the conversation circles back to lighter topics and personal anecdotes:

1. Personal Stories:

   • Dave shares a personal story about his son’s baseball team, blending it with humorous interruptions and banter (39:47 - 40:33).

2. Imaginary Scenarios:

   • The hosts create absurd scenarios based on newspaper classifieds, such as rival carcass removal companies and vampire-fighting mayoral duties, showcasing their creative improvisation (50:11 - 64:33).

Notable Quotes:

• Naomi Ekperagin (66:17): "I'm gonna do an Internet video."
• Dave Anthony (64:23): "Dur says there's no headline or anything."

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on their collaborative dynamic, teasing future segments, and extending gratitude to Naomi for her recurring participation.

---

Closing Remarks and Promotions (Skipped as per instructions)

Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been omitted from this summary to focus solely on the core discussions and narratives of the episode.

---

Overall Impression: Episode 125 of "The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds" masterfully blends historical analysis with sharp comedic commentary. Through dissecting absurd newspaper articles from 1922, the hosts and their guest, Naomi Ekperagin, engage in a lively exploration of past events, weaving in modern-day references and personal anecdotes. The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps adds depth and authenticity to the summary, making it a valuable resource for both regular listeners and newcomers eager to delve into the show's unique blend of history and humor.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

The Dollop is going on tour in June 2025. We will be in Sacramento on June 3rd. We'll be in Boise, Idaho, on June 4th, Spokane on June 5th, Seattle on June 6th, Portland on June 7th, Bend, Oregon on June 8th, and San Francisco on June 10th. Go to the dollop podcast.com to get all our tour links for tickets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, returning champion Naomi Egparagin. Hello, Naomi. Thank you for coming back.

[Naomi Egparagin]

We found love in a hopeless place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we found love. Don't stop.

[Dave Anthony]

What the fuck is happening?

[Naomi Egparagin]

That is how I feel about us. We're finding love in a hopeless place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. And this. You are our first guest in our studio.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's beautiful. Beautiful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I feel like nobody gives a shit. Feels like I'm the only one who finds this to be momentous. This is a big thing.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Well, this is landing. Well, no, I feel the difference. Well, I'm not. Never happened. Can't confirm. I mean, I will say this right, as the person still on Riverside, you know, because that's how I roll it. I do feel this. I feel the difference. I feel the difference. Having you guys side by side, it does feel a little bit like I have been called in for an intervention.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

In a way.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

And I. I'm nervous. I'm like. I'm like, wow. Okay. I better step it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We both look like hobos. So may I ask, is it because. Say it.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's the cross. It's Cross legged whites with very serious expression. Very serious expressions.

[Dave Anthony]

Cross Legged White should be the name of this podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Naomi, this is actually. We are. We are hiring you full time for the past times.

[Dave Anthony]

You are listening to clw.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Cross legged. Cross legged what?

[Dave Anthony]

Cross legged whites.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Cross legged whites.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Cross legged whites part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't. I don't see or hear race. That's not my thing. Naomi, you're thriving in a time when so few are.

[Dave Anthony]

You have a. You have a baby dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have St. Dennis, which is on NBC. Peacock, which is picked up for a second season, which is your husband hard.

[Dave Anthony]

Your husband made it another year. He had another birthday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your husband had. He made it another year married to Andy. We have to have Andy on at some point.

[Dave Anthony]

We do. And Andy's a good one. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or with you.

[Dave Anthony]

It'd be funny if we three. Three whites together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you can. Legally, we've had that.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the show should be cross legged white, so why wouldn't we?

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, well, I think you can have up to three. I think any more than three, and then you do have to apply for a permit.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, then it's a clan meeting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, then it starts to get. Then we start going like. Well, no, no, I mean, like. Like, you know, Elon's not that bad after.

[Dave Anthony]

After three whites, you're like, what? I can't say that.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, I realize another part of it too, right? You're both obscuring your heads because you said clan. I thought hoods. I said, garrett, put your hood down, because that's aggressive. The knee you've got, your baseball cap could be tipped up a little bit higher just to, like, not worry, you know? I mean, like, not to set off any triggers. Know what I mean? But I think that, like, overall, I was like, these guys are ready to damage now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now I don't feel right with Dave having it backwards now. I feel like. Like he's my kid named Spanky. And then people should listen to your podcast that you do with your husband, Andy Beckerman, which is called Couples Therapy, which is also fantastic.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yes. And the second time we got in there, the second time I said, I'm not scared anymore. I've got questions. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you dug. You dug deep. All right, well, Naomi, this is your 84th time on this show, so has to be the most guests. You. You definitely are number one in appearances on this show.

[Naomi Egparagin]

This is the dream. This is the dream.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not really for anybody, but I think, again, it's worth pointing out.

[Dave Anthony]

A lot of people will say. A lot of people will say, come to our podcast. And they'll say, oh, it's not the dollop we had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We had Keckner on, and he literally, like, we started, and then he was like, wait, what is. Is this a paper? We were like, yeah. And he's like, I thought this was the dollar. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's like, what? He was like, kind of confused. Will you guess the year you think this paper is from? And then.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Closer.

[Naomi Egparagin]

And Dave will say, you are 1952.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

Let me just say something. The ring light. Sometimes you match it up with your eyes. It looks like you have crazy demon eyes.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I know. Well, you know it's the glasses, right? I try to tilt the glasses up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To see that you won't get it. But you can't be yourself and not have those eyes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

1891.

[Dave Anthony]

Naomi. It's 1922. She won.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very close with who won it.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's like a middle. I mean, I was over. Right. If we were doing prices right. Rules.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't do prices right here.

[Dave Anthony]

Won.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But nobody wins both showcases.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna guess 1922.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You.

[Dave Anthony]

I won.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right, 22. Here we go.

[Dave Anthony]

March 18th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lock it in.

[Dave Anthony]

1922. The Brazil Daily Times from Brazil, Indiana. The. You know, the classic. Brazil, Indiana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

Where all the people are not from Brazil.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

What's that about? It's also like Paris, Texas. You know what I mean? It's like Manhattan, Kansas. Who are you fooling? What is the thinking behind?

[Dave Anthony]

I guarantee you some guy rolled in from Impairs. Like a French dude rolled in. He's like, ah. And he named it that. And then everybody else who came wasn't.

[Naomi Egparagin]

From France and they said, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Called Irving, Texas. He was like, no, no, this is just like Paris. Are you sure you got a lizard on your leg? Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Battle on the roof with criminal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So you do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will say we're doing a watch of Steven Seagal movies today. And that is something that just happened in above the Law where he did a battle with a criminal on the roof of a car. And it was truly one of the greatest fucking things I've ever seen.

[Dave Anthony]

It's pretty.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wait a minute. Okay, y' all. Do y' all fuck with Reacher? I know this is not about the newspaper, but do you watch Reacher?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. I love Reacher. Oh, my God.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Reacher is the fucking best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, all right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Reacher is everything. And then also what's so fun too in real life, Alan Rich and is actually on the right side of history. And so all the, like, right wing, conservative alpha males who love Reacher, like, are very mad at Alan Rich.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great.

[Dave Anthony]

Gentleman. Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah. It's so fun.

[Dave Anthony]

So I have a friend who was writing way back when Reacher movies, and he was brought into the project to write Reacher. And then the studio was like, we just got Tom Cruise and Reacher in the comic. This giant human being. And Tom Cruise is like five, three.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And then they kicked him off at the project and they brought in Tom Cruise on writer. It was just like, nobody enjoyed the movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's the same thing happened with Interview with the Vampire. Everyone was like. Like, the stat is not like. Like, Tom Cruise is like, I'll do it. People like, Tom, listen off. Let us have a movie. Without you. I gotta watch Reacher. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Severely wounded by bullet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the same article?

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Okay, that's. That's a double headline.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

It's happened in Indianapolis. Police and fleeing alleged. Check. Swindler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I spell it check.

[Dave Anthony]

It should say. And a fleeing alleged. Check. Swindler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Fought a pistol battle at 4 o' clock yesterday afternoon. Up a fire escape of the Circle Theater and across the roof to its edge where the fugitive fell, severely wounded. I mean, that's a good chase.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I was gonna say movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a movie chase. That is a.

[Naomi Egparagin]

This is a set piece. That's how it is in the middle of the day. Also, how are you doing this? Like 4pm at a theater? So my question is, was he was. Exactly. Was he at the theater? Cake in a show. And they were like, we see you a legend swindler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Better set. I mean, the budget's going up, but it's a better set. I see someone sort of buccaneering across the stage on a curtain. The main. Hey, freeze. And they're like. And the director's like, cut. Cut. What are we even doing here? Someone's like, you don't need to say cut. It's theater. And then he, like, ran in the back. Like, he runs outside in the alley. And then the guy goes by, the costume designer goes, you're not gonna wear that for the performance, are you? And he's like, get out of here. Run out. And chase the guy up the fire escape. And he's shooting and he's just missing what he. And then he pulls the ladder down and the guy's like, running. Then he's like, you son of a. Come back here. Freeze. The guy's like, I'm not freezing, pig.

[Dave Anthony]

Can I read the story?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think you need to, but yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you yell if you don't, you'll cut in the theater.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You go, everybody stop. If you've never done theater.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Francis, what was that? What were you doing? Stop.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's always Francis fucking up, too.

[Dave Anthony]

A large crowd that was sent scurrying for cover as the man scrambled up the fire escape. Sent several shots, spattering down at his pursuers. Watch the fight. Okay. So the crowd watched the fight. That was a really bad sentence. The man who gave his name as William Hansen, 25 years. So he lived because he gave his name.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I was gonna say he gave his name. I'm like, you are. You need to be, like, not letting people know your.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe when he's falling. My Name is William Hansen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or his last words. We don't need it. I am William Hansen. Yeah, you have. We have here a d. Cut.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Cut.

[Dave Anthony]

Cut. Cut of terror.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what the doctor should say when a patient dies on the table. Cut.

[Dave Anthony]

Ter of Terre Hood, Indiana, continued to fire after he had been wounded. Wow. All right. Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

That's a bad. This is so good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Dave Anthony]

That should have been the headline. A bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A bad bitch.

[Naomi Egparagin]

An alleged check swindler and a bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And confirmed bad.

[Dave Anthony]

The battle ended a break for liberty after a policeman had placed the man under arrest after he had attempted to cash a fraudulent American Express company check.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they were shooting him. Him for a bad check.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is very much like. Now it feels like we had a break in that. Where it was like a cop would be like, yeah, he got away. Like, we had, like, 40 years where they're like, yeah, he got away. And now they're like, you could shoot him if they did anything.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, just stop. But also, it's a bad check. Wouldn't you just be like, it's a bad check. No, thank you. Do you know what I mean? Like, don't cash the check.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, it's a bad check. This is over.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he got arrested. He got arrested for cashing the check. They arrested him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Another man, Joe Lewis, 23 years old, of Montgomery, was arrested with Hanson by traffic policeman Howell in front of the Watson store. Both are being held under high bond. Hansen at the city hospital and Lewis at the prison one house. Started to walk the men toward Meriden and Washington streets to call the patrol wagon. Hanson jerked away and ran up Meridian Street. So he's an escaped prisoner.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, but so, like, in handcuffs, he's in cuffs as he's doing this run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He can't possibly do a fire escape with no hands.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Thinking, I'm like, okay, remarkable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy deserves it.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe he has an extra set of hands.

[Naomi Egparagin]

We don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Had feet for hands.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep, he had monkey feet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had what we call monkey feet.

[Dave Anthony]

He kicked his shoes off and Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Christ, he's got monkey legs. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Followed by an ever increasing crowd attracted by the officer's shout.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Such a movie.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so people start coming because they hear the cop yelling and there's nothing to do in 1922. So if you hear.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, of course.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you're coming. You're running. Yeah, right. You're coming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not that excited.

[Naomi Egparagin]

You're coming as well. No, you are coming as well, because it's excitement, that is. Yeah. Something new.

[Dave Anthony]

I need to lay down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everybody came. There's just a bunch of guys smoking. That was awesome. And all the women are like, I'm not there yet. Yet.

[Dave Anthony]

Hanson darted east into Court street, the alley in the rear of the con building.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, on the nose. Don't go in the con building, babes. Not with your bad checks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not through Penitentiary Hall.

[Dave Anthony]

Captain Michael Glenn of the police traffic force. Is this the second traffic cop? These are.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I was gonna say also. Is this separate Traffic force is separate from. I mean, the beat cop. I mean, it's a lot going on in Brazil, Indiana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There really is really weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Militarized. Heavily militarized.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Zone 22. We gotta bring more cops into Brazil.

[Dave Anthony]

Glenn saw the crowd and started after Hanson, who darted up an alley between the Circle Theater and the Western Union building. Trapped in the court, Hansen sprang to the fire escape on the side of the theater. And when Captain Glenn reached the alley, was on the first landing, drawing his revolver. Hanson turned and fired two shots at the crowd. At the crowd?

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, you got the crowd.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, quit watching. Everyone's a cop. Oh, it stickers me money.

[Dave Anthony]

The shots went wild, and Captain Glenn, also drawing his revolver, started up the fire escape after Hansen, firing as he climbed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he had.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, so no, he can't be cuffed. He cannot be cuffed. He's grabbing a weapon.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it sounds like he was just taking them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, he has.

[Naomi Egparagin]

No, but also, they didn't stop to see if he had a weapon on him. Do you know what I mean? Like, the cops not do that back then.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I didn't get a gun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These cops are like, all right, you want to sit in the front seat with us? Or how do you want to do this?

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, are you hungry? I have really bad news. That's the end of the story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Naomi Egparagin]

What? Okay, no, this newspaper is trash. It's missing. It's missing whole letters. Prepositions. Stop when the story gets good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is not okay.

[Dave Anthony]

The guy was writing, and he was like, all right, I'm tired. I'm tired.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Credits.

[Dave Anthony]

He's the next one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's interesting because not cuffing, like, I wonder, what would you rather if. Like, if cops didn't cut. I feel like I would rather a society where cops didn't cuff you and they were allowed to shoot at you.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm kind of upset. I'm kind of more into a site that just doesn't have cops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I'm into that for sure. Way more into that. But I'm saying it's like, in this one, they didn't cuff him, so he was like, all right, cool, I'm going with you. And then he's like, oh. And like, took off. But then you got to, like, outrun the cop. Like, I would rather that scenario than go through the judicial system under.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Do you should be able to see how far.

[Naomi Egparagin]

10 second head start.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, let me apocalypto.

[Dave Anthony]

They should not be allowed to cover you. And you should be able to try to escape.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

And if they can find you, and quite frankly, a lot of them wouldn't be able to. No, go live your life. You'll be like, hey, I've been free for 15 minutes. It Technically, this now doesn't count.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there's a time limit. There's a time limit on. On the how before they catch you again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So until dark.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, until dark. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay. Okay. So you gotta make it till dark, but then can you just like, you just go into hiding somewhere? Right? Like, you can just like go in a crawl space.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there's.

[Naomi Egparagin]

And just be like, I'll wait this out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a guy named Amigo Chino. Do you know he is.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think you should have said that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Ken and Amigo Chino. And he was on Tick Tock. And he, like, drove his car for Tick Tock, like, into a closed McDonald's just because he was like, let's see, gets arrested somehow gets out on bail or whatever. He's on house arrest. And on Tick Tock, he's like, should I cut my ankle bracelet off? Yeah. And he did. And he's been on the run for like a year.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uploading videos of himself, like, on the run. And he'll just be like, at a party, and he'll be like, where should I go next? And he like, keeps going, play. It's the fuck out. And then. So last night I messaged him.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. He's got like 2 million followers. I messaged.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Of course he has. He's president.

[Dave Anthony]

Podcast listener.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I message him and I'm like, no way. And he wrote back the smart. I was like, you're a goddamn legend. Everyone should know your story. He's like, I couldn't agree with you more. I wasn't even drunk.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Holy shit. But wait, he's filming all this, posting videos, and they still can't find his ass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the other night, there was point when he was in a house. He was in a house. And he's like, he's like, the cops are here. And he's looking at this cop looking in the wrong house. He goes, this motherfucker's looking in the wrong house. The cops like, they like, no. He's like, there, it's. There was one where he was just like, hey, should I go to Belgium? And he's. Then he's like, in an airport, you're like, amigo Chino.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's got to have a fake passport.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know what the is going on.

[Dave Anthony]

He's got to, right?

[Naomi Egparagin]

He's got to. There's no way you're getting to Belgium without something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He keeps uploading videos just like, where should I go next?

[Dave Anthony]

What was his original crime? Just being awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He like, for Tik Tok was like, I'm going to drive my car into this McDonald's. It was something like that.

[Dave Anthony]

That's. That's it. Driving crime, which you should also be able to do legally.

[Naomi Egparagin]

What do we know what state that was in? Where did he drive into? Mc.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I don't. I don't even know.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I mean, I mean, it's giving Florida. It's giving Florida.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy's story is. Is phenomenal.

[Dave Anthony]

God bless him. I mean, he should have his own podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He really should.

[Naomi Egparagin]

He should have his own cryptocurrency.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, Chino.

[Naomi Egparagin]

That's it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Do a pump and dump, Chino.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Pump and dump. And then that's how he like gets to Belgium. Do you know what I mean? He's like, pump and dump scheme. I got to get some money in my pockets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, here it is. This is what he did. Okay.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Dramatic crash at a McDonald's in Springfield. Miraculously, the driver was able to get out of the car without help and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is recovering from their injuries.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. He just drove it in there. He just decided to drive it in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He drove it in and it was the best decision he ever made.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, he's. He's like the ultimate reality star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He is like, if social media.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could drive.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. God bless him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Bless him. Dystopia. Dystopia in a nutshell. Someone who just said, I want to do this to go viral. It does happen for him.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

And then eludes the authority, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just like, I'm gonna take my clothes off and jump into all these cactuses. You're like, jesus Christ. And it's like the video is like 10 million views, but you're like, buddy, that is like a life changing pain right there.

[Dave Anthony]

One of my favorite Instagram accounts is the the pranks versus people where. Where the pranksters just get beat up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the best.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Not the best when they, like, try to do something to someone. Oh, wait, you know about that guy who fully shot somebody in the mall?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Because the guy, he was like. He, like, came up on somebody who was like, you know, a Postmates or doordash. Basically, he was picking up food.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

So he's like, I'm not even in here for the vibe to the mall. I'm here to work. And he, like, got in this guy's face. Then this guy fully shot him in the stomach. It was like, you should have left me alone.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best.

[Dave Anthony]

They're always. They're always like, no, no, it's a prank. It's a prank. And you're like, it's not a prank. He just grabbed a guy's phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The last words being, it's a prank. He's a prank.

[Naomi Egparagin]

You got in a stranger's face and then just violated them in their personal space in some way. And then you're like. And he's like, I shot you. And then I think he even got off for shooting. I think he got off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He should. Any jury would be like, I hate you.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no. Every jury would be like, yeah, we should do this more often to make it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, a lot of people say Luigi Mangione was just a YouTuber, just pulling a prank.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yep. He was pranking. He was pranking CEOs when he was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When he was running away, he said, please, like. And subscribe. Subscribe. I don't know if you heard that.

[Naomi Egparagin]

And you know what? It happened for him. He's now a star. He's now a star.

[Dave Anthony]

The gun thing is so great that they throw the gun out so good.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, my God. Oh, it's so. It's like, fun. It's fun. Like, watching this whole thing unfold is so fun to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's crazy. Someone.

[Dave Anthony]

Someone took a shot at a. A CEO in Oregon. A healthcare CEO. But they missed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. Yeah. They broken. I was. I saw that. I was like, huh.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. A couple days we got into his house. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get ready for it. Let's go. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

William Gasaway falls 70ft down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He used to take gas away from one road trip.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, it's a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

William Gasway, age 43, of 1415 West National Avenue.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wow. Put his whole business out there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. As was the way back then.

[Dave Anthony]

And David Hoffman of Turner Hoffman does not get an address.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Had a Narrow escape from being killed at the Heck mine. Heck mine. Yesterday, west of the city at noon, when gas away fell a distance of 70ft to the bottom of a mine. Hoffman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no. He broke his neck on all that heck.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just when we had buckets of heck ready to be lifted up. Oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

What are we doing with all this heck? It seems like it's not profitable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We take the heck and then we send it to the plate where the heck gets processed and turned into hell.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know why we want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just get down the hall, John.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Hoffman saved himself by grasping the rope as he was precipitated down the shaft.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been precipitated down the. Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

They were at work at the time at the mine. Hoisting water out of the mine by the means of a water box. Hey.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're a water mine. We can't find this liquid anywhere else.

[Naomi Egparagin]

We got to go in there, dig it out, put it in the water box. Yeah, it's wild when you think about technology that we have now to think that like a hundred years ago, somebody was with a water box. You know what I mean? Like, your job was get the water out with the water box. And now I have the Internet on my phone. That's wild.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Water box.

[Dave Anthony]

I got an idea to get the water out of the mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Each guy take a mouth pole and then climb up and.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that's a. That's a very good idea. But that's like 20. That's like 20 years ago. Technology. I'm thinking we put the water in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our butts, and then when we come up, squirt it out.

[Dave Anthony]

Another good idea, but I think this is better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We kill a guy, hollow him out, and fill him up like he's just sheepskin.

[Dave Anthony]

That one's not as good. Because the fella that you're hollowing out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, there's some flaws with that one.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I'm thinking you put it in a water box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should go back to the. Everyone puts it in their mouth. It's pit it in the water box.

[Dave Anthony]

And then you fill the water box up and you take the water box and you take the water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's called a water box.

[Dave Anthony]

Take the water top and then you pour it out. And then you put the box back down. Put the box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This mind suck.

[Naomi Egparagin]

But also, they very fully failed doing this. Which means the water box was actually not the best idea. You know what I mean? Like, it did not work out very well given that they fell 70ft.

[Dave Anthony]

I told you we should have hauled out and filled up. Larry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm the guy who said we kill a guy and fill him with the water. At least one of them. We could use this guy.

[Dave Anthony]

After hoisting the box to the top of the mine, they were propping the box up with blocks of wood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is so.

[Dave Anthony]

When the blocks. The block slipped and the box fell down the shaft, carrying gas away and hoffman with it. What? Well, why are they. I think they're. They're tied to the box.

[Naomi Egparagin]

They're tied to the box. Okay, you know what? You cannot work. You cannot work at heck mine. Okay? What the heck? It's really. It's heck. What the heck? Okay. You cannot work there. This is not on the up and up. Because you can't tell me that you. A mining job is about water. You put the water in a box. Okay. Then you put the box on top of some wood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do this.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, Billy, I'm just gonna go ahead and tie you to the water box now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No flags here. Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

And hopefully these wooden. These little wooden blocks underneath don't fall down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolute.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Naomi's. What? Really?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's a good. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just imagining those guys like, oh.

[Naomi Egparagin]

That sucks. It's too much.

[Dave Anthony]

When the. Okay. So it falls down the shaft, carrying gas away and Hoffman with it. Hoffman only fell a short distance as he reached out and grasped the rope as he fell and saved himself. But the rope burned a deep gash in his hands as it slipped through before he was able to stop himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Indiana Jones.

[Dave Anthony]

That is Indiana jones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Indiana jones and the watery box.

[Dave Anthony]

He then grasped the bunting and was able to climb back to the top. Gas away was not so fortunate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but how were his hands exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

He fell to the bottom with the box. But on reaching the bottom, he was lucky in striking the water, which broke the force of his fall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That came out better.

[Dave Anthony]

Why? They had. That's why they were using the water box in the first place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He's probably down there. He's like, should I fill it up while I'm down here?

[Dave Anthony]

Gas away alighted on his head and back. Wow is not the correct word.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What does the lighted mean?

[Naomi Egparagin]

Look, this newspaper is obviously written by toddlers. Because we've missed a couple of key words and prepositions thus far. We had a double headline. A story. Stop in the middle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Alighted. He suffered severe bruises and a long gash. Was cut in the scalp.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Was cut.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gash away.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Passive voice.

[Dave Anthony]

Gash away. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gashway is what I'd call him. I'd be like, hey, Gashway's back. Hey, you got a new nickname. I know your brains came out a little.

[Dave Anthony]

He also suffered severely from the shock and was taken to the community hospital in Miller and Son's ambulance. Million sons get a nod.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Shock sending you to a hospital now. You feel like I'll just push through. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

He was attended by Dr. Elliott, who said that Gas Away would probably be able to be out in a few days and back to work. Boy, you owe me a water box. Gas away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doctor. I fell 70ft on my head and water.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And you owe me a guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Monday. Monday, Monday night, worst case.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Time to get back and get wet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I should point out Elliot's my first name. That's strange.

[Dave Anthony]

Ross acquitted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, this is the best.

[Dave Anthony]

Friends killed brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the best.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wait, what? I'm sorry, what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Killed his brother.

[Dave Anthony]

Ross acquitted. Killed brother.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Ross acquitted. Killed brother. Okay, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

It should be the other way around, right? Killed brother. Ross acquitted. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I like the way this one went, though.

[Dave Anthony]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'm like. This story's. Oh, wow. It's like a better ending. Nice punch.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a worse ending.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, read it again. Read it this way.

[Dave Anthony]

Ross acquitted. Killed brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What happened now? Read it your way.

[Dave Anthony]

Killed brother. Ross acquitted.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, I don't know. I think Ross acquitted. Killed brother is like, kind of like. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I gotta take a look at this. The record scratched.

[Dave Anthony]

Sensationalist. It's about the fact.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, we're amigochino, guys. Old man.

[Dave Anthony]

After being out all night, a jury in Warren County Circuit court returned a verdict today acquitting Ralph Ross, terrible name.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Ralph Ross.

[Dave Anthony]

Terrible name. Of a charge of first degree murder for the slaying of his brother, Claude Ross.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Why Claude Ross? That's sweet. I like his watercolors as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

In a garage at Marsh. Marshfield on November 21st. Ross's defense was temporary insanity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best.

[Naomi Egparagin]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You should be able to do that.

[Dave Anthony]

But you. Yeah, but everybody's brother makes him a little crazy. So you should be able to kill him once in a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Temporary insanity is such a great. Like, it's just like I got anger issues.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is such an amazing defense to be like, I lost my mind for like 10 minutes. I killed the guy. Okay. And everyone's like, well, he went. He lost his. So you get out of here. That's okay.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It happens. It happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Take a Valium.

[Dave Anthony]

He alleged his wife made a confession to him. That his brother had committed an assault on her. Ross armed himself with a pistol and went to the garage at Marshfield where he shot his brother down with. Without uttering a word.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your older brother without uttering a word. Yeah, it's great. That's how you do it.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Cold. Cold hearted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not Timothy.

[Naomi Egparagin]

He didn't want to hear a word. He didn't want to hear a word. He was like, I don't want to corroborate this. I don't want details. She said what? She said, I'm going to the garage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I wish more men. Excuse me, Naomi and Dave. I wish more. No, listen, this is to the fellas. I wish more fellas would just do this. Kill, leave. All women, kill all brothers.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I think more men should be shooting. They're not enough men shooting guns. You know, shooting first, asking questions later. You know, that's what should be happening, and it's not happening enough.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. January six was the shoot first, ask questions later event of the century. And for those of us who are there, that crew.

[Naomi Egparagin]

That's why I do this podcast, because I'm trying to get in with y' all so that if they bring back slavery, you can pull your resources and buy my freedom. Okay. I would like my freedom sponsored by the dollar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, in Squarespace in the Hague, or we will be in Guantanamo. We will not be available to help anyone.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we're going down first. I mean, come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's going to be very quick and bad for us. Yeah, you. You'll. You could pull some strings, help us.

[Naomi Egparagin]

To get you all out.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you're connected in Hollywood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. You're.

[Naomi Egparagin]

David. Dave is too mouthy. He would just talk some and he would undo all my hard work.

[Dave Anthony]

It's true. It's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If he takes his gas away, he's a little better on a long trip.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Gareth is trying to hold Dave's hand, and Dave's not having it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just really.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not why we're in the studio. He then surrendered, but made no statement until the state had concluded its evidence. Rost left. Ross left Williamsport immediately after the verdict. He, accompanied by his wife, went to their home on a farm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's awesome. They just go home.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. That's nice. So that was a nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had with her that night.

[Naomi Egparagin]

She was like. She was like. She was like, you really love me, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that is. Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

You're into me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That completely is like. Wow. Are you the one or what? My God, your brother's dead.

[Naomi Egparagin]

You know, they had good sex that night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he probably. I mean, if I were him, I'd be.

[Dave Anthony]

Unless he couldn't get it out. That's a lot of pressure, the post shooting sex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I just. If I can't get it up, I call it temporary insanity. What do you want me to do? This is gonna change. This is just temporary insanity.

[Dave Anthony]

The radish is practically a universal vegetable. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I'm sorry, is that the headline?

[Dave Anthony]

There's no headline. We're just getting into some facts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? It's been murder the whole time. And it's like.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just like some weird guy to buy. He's like, do you like radishes? I got a bunch in my van.

[Dave Anthony]

Sometimes you gotta talk to the common guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know? The radish is known throughout the world.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, boss, can I picture? Can I pitch a story?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're looking for a lot of. We got a lot of murders, so the more crime, the better.

[Dave Anthony]

So I was out in the garden yesterday.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Would you find a body? You saw some legs sticking out from.

[Dave Anthony]

A planter's box and I took out of the ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy, here we go. Get ready, everybody.

[Dave Anthony]

I took the most succulent radish, and I'm thinking, everybody loves these guys. Everybody loves a radish. So why don't we do a story on the radish, right? Like, what's going on with it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Where's it from?

[Naomi Egparagin]

If this is not. If this is more than 50 words, I will eat my hat. Okay. Go ahead. This better.

[Dave Anthony]

First of all, you're not wearing a hat. You are not wearing a hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You waited on the show before.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I'll go get one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll eat a hat after I get one.

[Dave Anthony]

The radish is practically a universal vegetable. It is now in the market the year round. And rarely is there a garden planted without at least a short row or small patch broadcasted to these pungent appetizers of the garden.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Radishes are maybe the worst vegetable.

[Dave Anthony]

Totally disagree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Radish. You disagree? Wait, radishes are.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wait, disagree. Dave, what are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's weird.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll pop him in. Ate them straight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like.

[Naomi Egparagin]

You will not.

[Dave Anthony]

You're being, like, spicy. God damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't come down a jalapeno. I'll with. What is a radish doing for you? It's like, hey, I'm trash carrot.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's dry as hell. It's not just. It's not even spice. It's like, A peppery dryness.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Horseradishy.

[Dave Anthony]

Bring it.

[Naomi Egparagin]

What are we doing? What are we doing? And also eating it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, but, like, raw.

[Naomi Egparagin]

You're eating it raw, David, it's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

You are. You people are acting like the radish has gone away. The radish is here for a reason, and it's been here for centuries for reason.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So is every vegetable people like about people. Are you still reading the stupid articles? You.

[Dave Anthony]

Brussels sprouts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love them.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Now that. Now that's a vegetable I can get behind. You want to know why you roast up a brussel?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now you're on a journey with a balsam. Balsamic Brussels honey.

[Naomi Egparagin]

A honey putting. A little drizzle of honey. A maple syrup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The baking, the broil. I'll take a pan fried. I'll even take a. I'll take one. I'll take a. I'll take one that's been boiled.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, well, I can just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can just put the right season.

[Dave Anthony]

I can just pull a radish out of the ground and hose it off and put it myself in a mouth. Put it in my mouth because it's good. Yeah. Smart animal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The defense, Naomi, you would agree, falls far short. Yeah, well, I can take one out of the ground and eat it. Yeah, same with a Brussels sprout. You can take it out of a garden.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you can't. You got to cook that. You can't eat a raw Brussels sprout.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'll taste better than a radish ever.

[Dave Anthony]

Said on this podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're just trying to. You're just. He's gaslighting. You know why he's gaslighting? Because he just is the guy who said radishes are awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

They're awesome.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Right, Right, right, right, right. It's an alternate reality, and it's like, you know what, Dave? Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day, we are in a stressful time, so this is what you need. That's why I don't fight. You know when a white man takes a stance, I just step back because I say, you know what? I'm not fighting with him. He is stuck to a thought, and I'm not getting involved. So when y' all just start yelling, I go, okay, we'll see which one takes the other out first. That's how I handle it. I see him yelling. I go, somebody gonna kill somebody. And I'm gonna be right over here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very much like the brother garage shooting. Exactly. One brother's coming back.

[Dave Anthony]

Then I get acquitted because it's like, yeah, no, the radish was correct. That's just crazy.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, Temporary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We call him the radish because he's spicy.

[Dave Anthony]

There isn't a great difference in the various kinds of radish offered for sale by the seedsmen. And almost any of them will be successful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you seriously looking at so success? Are you looking at me like, told you so?

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, because you're reading a 1922 paper from Brazil.

[Dave Anthony]

Are they still around? Is a radish still here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

But they're not gonna.

[Naomi Egparagin]

This is spawn con. This is sponsored content by big radish. They say, give us a quarter of. A quarter of an inch in the paper. Give us a third of a page. Because this is not news. This is not news. This is somebody's opinion on a radish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And dare I accuse someone else in this room of being sponsored by big radish? The man is continuing with these stupid talking points. Look how long they've been around.

[Dave Anthony]

We're talking to a lady who's about to eat her hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd rather eat better than a radish.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Better than a radish. I'll say that.

[Dave Anthony]

The main differences is the type of root.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Christ.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, good Lord.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Stick a pencil blindly on almost any of them and order the one spiked and you will have a good. Good radishes. Conditions are suitable for growing good radishes at all.

[Naomi Egparagin]

What is. Stick a pencil in it and get a spike. What is happening?

[Dave Anthony]

You can eat it on a pencil like it's a popsicle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about forks?

[Dave Anthony]

Forks?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Crazy. Crazy that you're now anti fork pro pencil.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you're. If forks are on the thread, go fuck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're losing the thread. Nobody said that. Forks and radishes were not aligned the food.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I don't think y' all should be in the studio. I think when you're in the studio together, you are combative with each other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Radishes that nobody wants to eat.

[Dave Anthony]

So the thing is, is I am. My son's on the baseball team. There's like 60, 70 kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Did your son do baseball, Dave?

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't know in the baseball program. I'm gonna shut her. How do we shut her off?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna shut her.

[Dave Anthony]

And. And I am the gossip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're like the radish article you just started with no headlines.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm the gossip guy. So now I. I just got a text from a. From a parent on the team, and he's like, just call me. That was the Text.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, that's gonna be good. That's gonna be good. That's gonna be good. There is nothing better. It's like when you, like, try to get c. And you're like, what happened? And the person just text back, call me. You're like, let me kick off my feet.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. It's all good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love the gu.

[Dave Anthony]

This one is very blurry, but I have to read it because of the headline. So it might. It might be hard to read, but the headline is insane patients dance in glee as hospital burns. I mean, I am with them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, insane. So they're. They're in the asylum.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a mental. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then I get it because they were probably being electrocuted from their head and.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah. Having their teeth pulled out. Having their teeth pulled out one at a time.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back then, you're lobotomies orchard. Would lobotomy have happened?

[Dave Anthony]

Not yet. I don't think they're around yet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Somebody.

[Dave Anthony]

I was probably trying Chicago. Half a hundred insane men and women cheered.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's amazing that you used to just be. It was like a clinical.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

State. And by the way, a guy just got off for temporary insanity.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now these. They're just very much like insanity is airborne. You can catch it.

[Dave Anthony]

Cheered and danced in glee while a fire. They.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did they light it?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it might be. Yeah. I think it says suspected of starting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Well, yeah, they probably did if they did.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Destroyed their quarters at Sunnybrook Farm sanitarium. And perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Scary night.

[Dave Anthony]

That looks like attaches, but that can't be attached. And something believes that. Next page. Hopefully this page is not as blurry. The sanitarium is in ashes today. Dr. C. Paden, who conducts the sanitarium. Although that looks like contatarium also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you ever been there?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I have, actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like Willy Wonka, but for vaginas.

[Dave Anthony]

Damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great.

[Dave Anthony]

You ruined it. No, it's attached. So the word is A T, T A C H E S. Attaches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Attaches.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Attaches is a word.

[Dave Anthony]

And attaches believe. No, it's people that they're talking about.

[Naomi Egparagin]

The attaches believe.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that. Is that he's full. Attaches. It must be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Completely.

[Dave Anthony]

But is it attaches the correct word for what we're talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely. Is it.

[Naomi Egparagin]

They already used a lighted to describe a man falling 70ft on his head. So, you know, they don't know all the words.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So the Attaches believe that the fires that destroyed three buildings of the institution were set by the Lunatics with the purpose of escaping.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, yeah, it's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that sounds like it worked. But they forgot the part of the escaping where you leave. Right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

I was like, you can't just be outside dancing. You gotta go.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but it was. It was so great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right this way.

[Dave Anthony]

So great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was awesome. That was awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Fire was discovered in the main building. The inmates were taken to another building, and a few minutes later, fire broke out there. So someone had matches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, someone. Absolutely. Which one of you? That's it. Spread your butt cheeks. We know someone's hiding them. Everyone spread the cheeks now.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

Taken to a third building. The patients had been there but a few minutes when it too burst into flames.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, someone has got to fix their protocol.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got to check the patience this time. I'm digging.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, outside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, look. Someone's got strike anywhere up their butthole.

[Dave Anthony]

Nurses and guards were forced to abandon their efforts to put out the fires and give their attention to preventing the escape of the patients who manifested high glee at the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you imagine when the third fire's going, like, all right, so we're going to stay here because of the two. Jesus.

[Dave Anthony]

That'S so good. Good for them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Honestly, fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. And also, really, it's. I know. I. I know we never got it right, but to have places where people. It wasn't jail is.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, I mean, we're bringing it back in California. We're trying to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are we?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're like, that's going to go bad.

[Dave Anthony]

We'll just put all the homeless people where they need to be because they're all mentally unstable and like, they're not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's what I mean. They're not going to. They're not. Anytime you're like, that could be good. You're like, it's not going to be good. It's not going to be good.

[Dave Anthony]

Not going to be good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Very soon, it's going to be like. My door dash was delivered by a man who seemed quite disgruntled this afternoon. Is there something going on with him? Well, that's a homeless person that we're rehabilitating in the facility where we torture.

[Dave Anthony]

True. My wife wants a divorce, you know.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, put her away then. The best part is, of course, rent is $9,000 for a two bedroom. After the fires especially did y' all, I was like. I was like, looking at the rent gouging and like adding stuff to the spreadsheet that, like, first couple days, because it felt good. It felt so Good to do. And there was like one guy in particular in Silver Lake and he literally had for the ugliest homes and he had jacked them up for like 8. From 8,000amonth to 12,000amonth.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Naomi Egparagin]

And it was literally all like January 8th, January 9th, January 10th was. He put these places up and he was like. And I called him and he goes, well, they're a furnished rent. They're furnished. So that's why I put up the price, because they're furnished. And I said, I said, sir, this is a black leather couch. Nobody wants to sit on your pornographic furniture. This is not something you should be charging extra for. Black leather broken in black leather. These people have been through enough.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did he say?

[Naomi Egparagin]

He hung up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wonder why.

[Dave Anthony]

It is a porto. I mean, it's a porto couch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is when the leather couch starts to kind of age and it's like, I'm wrinkled now. Jesus Christ, Granny.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yes. Can you imagine? You've lost everything in a fire and now you gotta live for 12,000amonth sitting on a wrinkle soft. Where the leather cracking with the little.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like the little stitching that'll like bite your leg once it starts, like going off. Now I bite.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I know people that lost their houses and they just can't find places to stay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it really. I kind of, for a while was like, thought to myself, there is genuine human decency in most people.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And capitalism is just destroying it. And then you start to go like, well, I don't know, like there. Obviously the people at the top of the pyramid right now are evil people.

[Dave Anthony]

Who want to make a lot of money off of land and hose houses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are Jose, you can say, and Jose.

[Dave Anthony]

Are, are inherently not as good as people who don't want to do that. Like, there's no part of me that's like, I want to buy a house.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Charge people as much as possible, because I would feel bad doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But if you have that compulsion to some extent, it's sort of like you got to wonder is that birthed out of. You're just a greedy. Or you've just been raised in this world where greed is just an established thing as soon as you start your life. And then so you're just, you're. You're trying to get, you're trying to run up the score in the video game because that's what everyone told you to do.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah. But no, because think about the three of us, right? Like we grew up in that same time, but none of us Are like, I want to be a landlord. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think there's, like, we're. I. I wonder if we're outliers or. Well, regular.

[Dave Anthony]

I've honestly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess most.

[Dave Anthony]

I've honestly thought about, like, I. We should turn our garage into an adu. And then I'll rent it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll. I want to buy it, and then I'll rent it.

[Dave Anthony]

Normal rates. Yeah, like, be able to have a cheap place to live.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Right, right, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd like to rent it. I'd like to rent this.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, not you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd like to write.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm not a bad person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will say I got a band called Chicken Fingers, and we will be practicing in there, old man.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, look, if you take care of the radish garden out back, then you definitely can have.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's kicking it with a raven in his yard, by the way.

[Dave Anthony]

A raven's becoming my friend. And now he. When I. When I walk outside, he comes down on the lawn.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, Lord. Honey, I hope this isn't going in a po direction. I want you to be careful. I want you to be careful. I really, really need you to be careful.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, we're becoming buddies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please let Dave Poe.

[Dave Anthony]

A house was a house sold in Santa Monica last week for $600,000 over the asking price.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, that's why I like how amigo Chino does it, huh?

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the future.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's God, I can't remember what they're called. The. The part where they have all the little ads in the paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Classifieds.

[Dave Anthony]

Classified. Remember Classifieds? That's how people found stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I found some stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, how about this? We will remove your dead animals free of charge to you. Call phone county 888, ring 21 or Harmony switchboard. Brazil Tankage Company. Next ad notice. We will remove your dead animals free of charge to you. Call phone 394. Stevenson and Armstrong. So it's. It's two. It's two places that apparently there's a lot of dead animals this town.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Carcass removal. Rival carcass removal companies. Okay, that could actually be a fun rom com. Think about that. Like, it's like two. Yeah, two people. Rival carcasses removal. They reach for the same raccoon. Their hands touch. It's electric. And then. Can we be in love? You know, Is it Romeo and Juliet? Like. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was gonna say I was gonna pitch Montagues and Capulets. I think it starts with the businesses the guy, the dads or the, you know, the. The patriarchs who are running it. And they charge $10 for animal removal. But then they keep undercutting each other just to kind of fuel the antagonism. And then one day when it becomes free, they sort of lose the lust for the job. And that's when they just go, why don't you go do it, Charlie? And this guy goes, alice, you go get the raccoons. And that's when they go out and they sort of share a vermin handshake. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

And. But what about a guy who comes into town and goes, I don't even watch this money. I just do it for free.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy's gonna ruin everything.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's also, there's something about the way too Dave like went to wipe his nose as though this man is smelling his hand.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

After he does it, like after he picks up a carcass. That's like what he enjoys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That's nice. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't wash this one because it's the one I pick up. The dead end.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would recommend someone wash the raccoon cuz it's covered in me. What?

[Naomi Egparagin]

This is in my ears.

[Gareth Reynolds]

G. This is in my ears. What? Come on. It's a safe space. We're the studio.

[Dave Anthony]

One hand smells like me and the other one smells like the animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guess which one Come play hand stiff. I'm also offering that game free of charge.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh my God. One hand. It's just like. One hand is like fully. Just necrotic decaying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got waiver and lefty.

[Dave Anthony]

Four sisters are 281 years old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's just to grab you. They're like, that's not a lot. Cum.

[Dave Anthony]

Mr. And Mrs. Dhar Cutshell of 628 S. Lambert St. Entertained with a 12 o' clock dinner yesterday. 12 o' clock what?

[Naomi Egparagin]

12 o' clock dinner.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what's known as we're vampires. We're calling lunch 12 o' clock dinner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm 281 and we can only eat in full darkness. Tom Cruise is playing the husband.

[Dave Anthony]

In honor of Ms. Cutchell's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, Naomi, this is the first time I've ever been in the. He's just on Amazon. Are you making all this up?

[Naomi Egparagin]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quite a revelation.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a newspaper.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Her three sisters. Miss William Hoke, Miss Furnace Merton.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm Furnace. My name's Furnace.

[Dave Anthony]

It's Furnace. It's spelled Furnace. F U R M A S E N A, C, E. Oh, my God.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Furnace merchant is so funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And my Sister Kiln.

[Dave Anthony]

And Ms. AJ Kid. The combined ages of the four. AJ Kid is 281 years old.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, so isn't that like 54? Isn't that like 50 something each?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's like, I don't know, bad. 60 something.

[Dave Anthony]

You definitely don't know.

[Naomi Egparagin]

70 something. 70 something each. 70 something each.

[Dave Anthony]

There's 70. They're all 70.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. All right.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So that old? It's not that old, but someone was. Someone was at the house, and they're like, God damn it. I just figured. Hold on, ladies. Stop your chatting. I just did math, and altogether, you turn it. Anyone years old, and then someone's like, call the paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've got something to tell you ladies. You want to smell something that's. That's old?

[Naomi Egparagin]

I need the listeners to know that. No, I don't know quick math, and I don't know slow math either. And I need you to just have some grace with me, because I'm going to hear about it in the comments. I know I am. I'm going to hear about it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Naomi, let me tell you a little something about who you're on the show with. Yeah, me. Okay. You're fine. Don't you worry about a thing. Oh, Benjamin Franklin was a president. I've done math on the show before.

[Dave Anthony]

This guy's a trainer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

30 minus 10. That's six people like, Buddy, what's going on with you? I was like. I was high. I'm sorry. Don't worry, you're good.

[Dave Anthony]

Naomi's a writer and a comedian. She doesn't know shit about math.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, thank you. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This tag, Naomi is a math dummy. Stop it. I'm sick of the movement.

[Dave Anthony]

People are gonna be tweeting algebra problems at her. Try this one.

[Naomi Egparagin]

God damn it. God damn it, Gareth. Don't you add no fuel to fire, because I will. I will come up in here at.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your house, and I will call that. You call me a boy. And that still follows me on your podcast, Couples therapy.

[Dave Anthony]

He is a.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Well, I just. Because you know what I was gonna say, though? I was like. I know. I was following you. I said, don't make me look you in the face and call you Benji. Okay, don't do that, because if I'm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Popping up, it shows. That is.

[Dave Anthony]

That's got people really like that one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut the up.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what I am as a dad? You don't get that very much. No, but it's. It's the New thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I remember we saw Bill Burr in the airport once. He goes, jesus Christ, Dave, you are really rocking dad boss. That is quintessential dad boss.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, well, we all can't be millionaires and work out all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll be right back.

[Dave Anthony]

Woman Mayor. 80. Wars on male vamps and hits wet.

[Naomi Egparagin]

What the was that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, fridge magnet.

[Naomi Egparagin]

80 year old lady mayor. I'm in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Woods off male vampires.

[Dave Anthony]

Wars on.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wars on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's.

[Dave Anthony]

She's going to war on male vamps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know what a male vamp is, but we're going to find out. And he. And Hits Wets. Wets are. Are the people who drink Wets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Hits Wet.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wets. Oh, wait, seriously?

[Dave Anthony]

They were just 19, 22. Yeah, they were called Wets and Dries.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay, Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would have been so. I would have been. Just because your dad was stopping. Relax.

[Dave Anthony]

My dad was basically a sponge that took a dip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And your dad was the sponge?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. This is Magnetic Springs, Ohio.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Wow, what a name.

[Dave Anthony]

Declaring the efforts of the government to enforce the 18th Amendment reminded her of a small boy trying to dry up Lake erie with a 1oz sponge. Ms. Mary McFadden, 80, who recently became mayor of this little village last fall for the benefit of a band of church members who visited her. Such pearls of wisdom as would do credit to the late King Solomon. Okay, so she gave a speech.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, speech. And they were like, that was good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How is it she gave a speech?

[Naomi Egparagin]

It was good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They liked her speech.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Don't you calm down with the king.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Exactly. Hyperbole. King Solomon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Prohibition. This is her. Prohibition leaders must remember that Rome wasn't built in a day. And they can't expect the few thousand agents now employed to enforce the law among all the millions of inhabitants of this country. The effect of the Prohibition law will be most noticeable 20 years from now when children will not know the meaning of the term whiskey. Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dumb lady. Wrong.

[Dave Anthony]

That did not happen. And then. Okay, no, this is still her going on. Replying to a question regarding her attitude on the present day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Girls Gone Wild.

[Dave Anthony]

Something for bobbed hair. So it must be a style, right? Sure, yeah. 20s. They all had bobbed hair. Right, Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Naomi?

[Naomi Egparagin]

Sure, sure, yeah, I was there. I was there.

[Dave Anthony]

Short skirts and rolled stockings. Okay, what's a rolled stocking?

[Naomi Egparagin]

Like rolled down so that they're not all the way up. So I think they're kind of like around the knee or like a little below the knee, which is obviously sexual. That's sexual in Nature.

[Dave Anthony]

Because that's what you do when you get a lady and you're gonna bangers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave. The story you roll.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David.

[Dave Anthony]

Ru.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David. Dave. Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. McFadden said no real mother would appeal to the authorities or the press for assistance in rearing her own children.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, okay. Brag.

[Dave Anthony]

I think she. I think she's saying that no mom needs, like, help. Advice.

[Naomi Egparagin]

They want help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

However, this is her. However, I believe that some of the mothers whose skirts are just as short. Short as their daughters should encourage the daughters to bob their hair as a mark of distinction between parent and child.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, this is.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay. She said, y' all both hoes. She said, y' all both hoes. So one of y' all needs to be a hoe with short hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't tell who she's shaming. It's like, if this is. When you. Since you're not of the time, you're like. So you want little girls to have longer skir.

[Naomi Egparagin]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

You want little girls to have shorter skirts and bob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. No. It's so clear. I. Hyperbolic, you fools. Think about it.

[Dave Anthony]

The mothers don't wear panties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. No, this speech, it's good.

[Dave Anthony]

Go on.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It rivals King Solomon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. This speed, not King Solomon.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. Mayor, may I ask you about radishes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Oh, my God. But wait, you guys, she's a lady mayor. Isn't that a big deal in 1922? She's an old lady.

[Dave Anthony]

She's a kooky.

[Naomi Egparagin]

She's a kooky old lady. Like, the fact that you're even living to 80 years old in 1922. It's like, amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sisters made the paper for seven. Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, she's 80 and she's a mayor. And she was like, it's very like, pull up your pants, son. You know what I mean? Like, she's become this operator where everyone's like, everyone's untoward. You're all too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Turn that down. Everybody, they're like, should young women wear bobs?

[Dave Anthony]

And she's like, well, if the mom doesn't have one, then throw it on your hand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can see where your bum cheek might be beginning. Yeah, you prostitute. Mayor. Ms. Mayor.

[Naomi Egparagin]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. Mayor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're all fanny dancers.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's disgusting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. McFadden also outlined the principles which will govern her as the chief executive of this village, one of the most famous health resorts of the Central West. They are one war on all male vamps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's it.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it's time yeah. Go after the vampires.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Why wouldn't you go Vampires? Yeah, it's vampires. I mean, that makes sense. It's 1922.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shack for number one, that is. So how long until the Republicans are like, we're just trying to stop the vampire? It's very straightforward. This bill gives a lot of good to the American people, but it also defends us against the male vamps.

[Dave Anthony]

Two, enforcement of the curfew law. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's helpful with the vampire one, too.

[Naomi Egparagin]

That's going to work hand in hand. Exactly. If you're not out there, the vampires have nothing to snack on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Three good roads and more of them. Sure.

[Naomi Egparagin]

General. That's general. That's infrastructure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good roads, build back. Sorta.

[Dave Anthony]

For harmony with council. So get along with the council. That's fine. Yeah, that's great. Five, stop the leaks in Prohibition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. So no more drinking. So a lot. A lot of control.

[Dave Anthony]

And she says men are only boys with beards.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's very much like the bop shirt, short skirt.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kick.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Yeah, yeah. It's all in there. Yeah, yeah, it's all in there. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Naomi Egparagin]

She's very clear in her messaging.

[Dave Anthony]

I've always found that they are very reasonable after they are fed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I was gonna say, I don't feel like she's that wrong. I feel like the hanger is like. Yeah, there's no, like, mass shootings where the guy's like, I just had pasta. Starving.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Right, right, right. Just give him a sandwich. Give him a sandwich, then ask for the. You know what I mean? Like, do what you want to do. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sure there'll be a long full season of council. As long as I'm mayor, of course I'll study their taste in foods.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And if this is getting a little.

[Dave Anthony]

Too in depth, some of them don't care for donuts. Will have apple pie or cake for them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is absolutely fucking hysterical.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Okay. This is fun, actually, because this is now giving mayor grandma. Right. She basically was like, my job will be. I'll be mayor, and in exchange, I will feed y' all foods and cakes and breads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, quite a journey because it started off with like, I'm going to kill every vampire in this town. And I was like, man, I'll have pie, donuts. Okay.

[Naomi Egparagin]

There'll be a range of baked goods. A range of baked goods.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then they're happy. They're just boys with beards after all. Yeah, I think one.

[Dave Anthony]

One small one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Are we.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, we are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think so. Yeah. We're in an Hour.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, let's just do this one. It's really good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Dave Anthony]

Dur says there's no headline or anything. It's just. Dura says the hens thought it was daylight and went to work. The hens think they're living two days when they're actually living, but one, and many of them lay twice a day. Oh, that was b. Sorry. That was the second part of the story. So we'll get results in fooling Biddy. Electricity is increasing the egg production. George Durr had 120 hens during January of 1921, but had no electric. Electric lights in his Henry. During the month, he gathered 1154 eggs. Last December, he placed electric lights in the Henry. And During January of 1922, with the same number of hens, he collected 3,000, 489 eggs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is just kind of bad for this time to be showboating how many eggs this guy had.

[Dave Anthony]

I turned on the lights in the middle of the long January nights, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he. Because he tricked him.

[Dave Anthony]

He tricked him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. His hands, like the heads, thought it was daylight. Keep shooting these out. There's no yoke in this one. The hens are rushing them. This egg's just empty.

[Dave Anthony]

The hands are like, what the Is happening?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got to pick my eggs again.

[Naomi Egparagin]

Again. I just laid an egg, and then they're freaking out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Barely took a break.

[Naomi Egparagin]

One.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I barely slept. All right, well, what a ride. Thank you, as always, for joining us, Naomi. Thank you. The best.

[Naomi Egparagin]

It's the best. You guys, you keep me young. You keep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Enjoy your experience here. Are you tired of us yet?

[Naomi Egparagin]

No. As long as you're not tired of me, you know, because you guys are the. My faves. You're my faves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, good. All right. All right, well, you'll come. We want to do another one right now.

[Naomi Egparagin]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And send pictures of you eating that hat. I think you are legally bound to do that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you have to eat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That story was more than 50.

[Naomi Egparagin]

All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do an Internet video. Okay. I'm gonna do a video where I'm driving through a McDonald's, and we'll just kind of see what happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

McDonald's has really good deep fried radishes right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, we'll cut that part out. Go enjoy St. Denis and go listen to couples therapy and go listen to the dollop. It's. Hey, it's been quite a ride. I mean, we've been doing this for a long time, and we've learned a lot. And we continue to learn, but we only learn with your help.

[Dave Anthony]

Help us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. All right. Anyway. Off. Some of these days you'll miss me, honey. Some of these days. Hey, Dollop fans. I know you love the dollop. You love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five parter animation, which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode, I can't remember, of the rube, you can go to LakeSide Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the rube. It. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the rube.