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Dave Anthony
The Dollop is going on tour in June 2025. We will be in Sacramento on June 3rd. We'll be in Boise, Idaho, on June 4th, Spokane on June 5th, Seattle on June 6th, Portland on June 7th, Bend, Oregon, on June 8th, and San Francisco on June 10th. Go to the dollop podcast.com to get all our tour links for tickets.
Gareth Reynolds
All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times Podcast. Each week, we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history. Hello, Andrew. Thank you for joining us. And I've never seen it before, and neither are you. It seems like you threw your microphone before we started. Was that.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, right when we. She then knocked it over. She's like this.
Andrea
I was just really excited.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Andrea
And angry at the same time.
Gareth Reynolds
Believe me, That's Dave Anthony's gear.
Dave Anthony
What the just happened?
Gareth Reynolds
Andrea, you will be opening for Sean Keane in San Francisco.
Andrea
Yes. On May 14th at the Punchline Comedy Club.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. Great club. Great club. I like it.
Dave Anthony
It's my. I was my home club starting out.
Gareth Reynolds
They've legally asked you to stop saying that, Dave. So at some point.
Dave Anthony
I mean, I live there. I had a cot, and I. I. I lived there.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, that's fine.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Well, that's exciting. Well, should we just jump into it? I mean, Andrew, do you now you. This is no shame if you've never listened to the show, but we're going to guess what year this paper is from now. Dave has picked it up, and I would say it's probably going to be 1800s. 1900s. Could be 1700s. Probably not. You get to guess what year you think it's from with no information. I'll also guess, and you'll win.
Andrea
Okay, we don't know that.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes, we do.
Andrea
Everything's rigged these days.
Gareth Reynolds
This thing is rigged.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Andrea
I'm gonna guess 1907. And I feel really good about that guess.
Gareth Reynolds
I think. I think you should.
Dave Anthony
We should.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm gonna guess 1899.
Dave Anthony
Oh. Andrea wins. It's 1888. But it's the 1907. 1888.
Gareth Reynolds
It's wrong. See, that's.
Dave Anthony
Does that make sense?
Gareth Reynolds
No, it doesn't. That's why Andrea looks confused and I look mad.
Andrea
No, this is the face I make when I'm really connecting.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, that's you locked in.
Dave Anthony
That's right.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
All right.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. Well, there you go. Congratulations on being further away from it and still winning somehow.
Andrea
Thank you.
Dave Anthony
Well, it's. There's. There's a hiccup in that. You know, the year you picked was whatever, blah, blah, and it. There's a skip in the timeline. Anyway, it's the evening capital of Annapolis, Maryland, August 8, 1888. It's a big great year. Great.
Gareth Reynolds
Did you say August 8?
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
So this is 8, 8 88.
Andrea
So Reagan had just been re elected.
Gareth Reynolds
So this is Reagan.
Dave Anthony
That's right.
Gareth Reynolds
Yep.
Dave Anthony
This is the Reagan years.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, this is.
Andrea
We were all getting rich.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, blue jeans were popping, credit cards were new. McDonald's was in Russia. Democracy had been exported.
Dave Anthony
Pizza Hut was in Russia. Was it McDonald's? I know pizza Hut was.
Gareth Reynolds
It's called Hut of Pizza. What are you doing some comedy?
Dave Anthony
Whenever you're ready, Andrew. I can treat Gareth as hostile, right?
Gareth Reynolds
No.
Andrea
I'm gonna wait till we've been podcasting for like 15 minutes to become antagonistic.
Gareth Reynolds
So why don't you, when you're ready, just let us know the verdict whenever.
Andrea
Okay, great.
Gareth Reynolds
Thank you.
Andrea
Copy that.
Gareth Reynolds
Thank you.
Dave Anthony
Apparel for hot weather. This is page one.
Andrea
Apparel for hot weather.
Dave Anthony
For hot weather.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. Invented.
Dave Anthony
When it comes to the apparel question, we find a problem difficult of solution. I mean, this is when you just want to slap someone for writing a sentence like that. Yeah, like he's like trying to make extra words for no reason.
Andrea
Yes, but maybe this is like, you know, in, in the aughts when they were being paid like a dollar per word.
Gareth Reynolds
Could be.
Dave Anthony
It could be. Totally could be. Yeah.
Andrea
Is this Condi Nast? Is that the publication?
Dave Anthony
That's right. How did you know that? Yeah, yeah, we'll say lucky gas. What to wear for the greatest comfort.
Gareth Reynolds
This is shocking to have this be like pants. Not great for the summer. That feeling you have is universal.
Dave Anthony
I mean, you know where this is going right away. I hear my fat and hasty friend say, why the thinnest white cotton garment you can possibly buy. So his fat. His fat friend.
Andrea
That is when being fat was a compliment. Like basically saying, true upper middle class.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah. He's got. He's got gravy thighs. I actually, where I thought it was going, Dave, was that men should be allowed to have fashion freedom and women keep it all under wraps. Wear duvets.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, yeah. Hide it. Yeah, not quite, old fellow. If you do that, you may find it a snare. And one of these days with their sudden changes will bring you a summer pneumonia.
Gareth Reynolds
Summer pneumonia.
Dave Anthony
Well, look, I. I think they're confused about how chest infections happen.
Gareth Reynolds
Sure.
Andrea
What is summer pneumonia? Why would someone get that?
Dave Anthony
No, they're saying they're. I think they're saying that if you wear what he wants to wear, that. That you'll get a cold and then summer pneumonia. But there's no summer pneumonia, so they're saying that'll happen because of what you're wearing.
Gareth Reynolds
Jesus Christ.
Andrea
Okay. And this is all in the lead?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah. The idea that this is all. Figure all this out, they're like, what's.
Andrea
The most important information?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, that's right. Welcome to the Monday Night Clues.
Dave Anthony
Cotton is not an absorbent and is no more fit to be worn next to the skin than a coat of mail would be.
Andrea
What? That's not.
Dave Anthony
That. Not.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, no, thank you. What about cotton is absorbent? Is this another one of your hints?
Dave Anthony
No.
Andrea
Not to sound like a fan. Yeah. But I remember the episode of the Dollop. Have you guys. You guys know that show?
Dave Anthony
I don't know what that is now.
Andrea
Okay. The episode you did about deodorant and. And how advertisers appealed to men and said if you wear deodorant, you might get a job because you're so stinky during the Great Depression.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, my God. Right? I don't remember.
Andrea
Gareth, you have to listen to this episode.
Gareth Reynolds
I would love to. It's shocking how many of the episodes I haven't been on, to be honest. In retrospect, it seems like I missed a lot. That's fucking hilarious to be like, yeah, don't be stinky. It'll help.
Andrea
Yeah. But as you're reading this, Dave, it just makes me think about again how stinky people were up until like, 2023.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. They were terrible smelling. They told they. They smelled terrible.
Gareth Reynolds
They had no clue either. And it's really the breath I think, that would get you.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Andrea
Really? I think it's like the movements, people gesticulating, like, please don't talk with your arms.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, I get that. I have a friend who in college just was like, I'm done with deodorant. And I was like, that's not a you call. And it really was a friendship changing event.
Andrea
Like it made you closer.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, I was just attracted to him. The pheromones, everything got hotter.
Andrea
Just as long as they weren't wearing cotton.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Disgusting. Imagine.
Andrea
And you went to. You. You. You matriculated in 1888, right, Gary?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Yes. I went to Bo. Yep.
Andrea
That's so stupid.
Gareth Reynolds
No, it isn't. Smart. It's a smart joke.
Andrea
I'm embarrassed.
Gareth Reynolds
I actually. I went to pu.
Andrea
Oh, you. You have a master's?
Gareth Reynolds
I have a. I got my master's at pu. And then my undergrad was bo. Guys, that's as good as it's going to get.
Andrea
Short episode today.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah.
Dave Anthony
It holds the purse. I think we're talking about cotton. Still. It holds the perspiration. Excretions.
Gareth Reynolds
Classic us.
Dave Anthony
And excretions of the body.
Gareth Reynolds
Jesus Christ. What is that? What?
Dave Anthony
I'm a little grossed out at this point.
Gareth Reynolds
What is it again?
Dave Anthony
Cotton holds the perspiration and excretions of the body of those million little sewers.
Gareth Reynolds
Sounds like one of my.
Andrea
Is that from. Is that an excerpt from the Body Keeps the Score?
Dave Anthony
I think so.
Gareth Reynolds
What. Why? I don't know if anyone's ever committed.
Dave Anthony
Libel against cotton so strongly of these million little sewers. And it's mesh.
Gareth Reynolds
Million little sewers.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, that's what you're. Cotton alone, your pores are little sewers.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, God.
Dave Anthony
In its meshes, there's little turtles hanging out.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Dave Anthony
In suspension, as it were. And when you stand in a breezy place, you feel this foreign presence by the cold, clammy sensation which brings out the expression that someone is walking over your grave.
Gareth Reynolds
What the. Are you talking.
Andrea
Oh, my God. I hate when someone walks over my grave. Can you take another route?
Gareth Reynolds
Enough.
Dave Anthony
I'm a huge fan. Like, I love it.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, my God.
Dave Anthony
Underwear should always be constructed of woolen material.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't feel good.
Dave Anthony
Made as light and flimsy as desired. It is cooler than cotton and far more cleanly. See, now, this is Richard Guernsey, M.D. who said that?
Gareth Reynolds
Guernsey.
Andrea
And this is. You're reading from the weather section.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Yes.
Gareth Reynolds
This is the five.
Dave Anthony
This is just page one in the paper. This is just all very normal.
Gareth Reynolds
Just about how cotton is a shirt sewer.
Dave Anthony
That's right. What's the problem?
Andrea
And so, to reiterate, they're saying that underwear should be, like, as thin as possible.
Gareth Reynolds
I. And this era. I couldn't agree with that less that I. When you're talking about the armpits. Now I'm thinking crotch, and it's concerning.
Dave Anthony
Why are you thinking crotch?
Gareth Reynolds
Because.
Andrea
Because he has summer pneumonia.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Andrea
Come on, Dave.
Gareth Reynolds
Sick, buddy. It's almost June.
Dave Anthony
Jesus Christ. What? All right, so you got a hot pair of pants on. Panties.
Gareth Reynolds
No, that's not what I'm saying.
Dave Anthony
Hot wool pants. Hot wool panties.
Gareth Reynolds
No, no, no, no.
Andrea
Come and get them.
Dave Anthony
Hot panties.
Gareth Reynolds
Hot panties. Eat some nuts out of these. Hot wall panties.
Andrea
Babe Ruth wears them and so can you.
Gareth Reynolds
Babe Ruth's underwear should be in a museum somewhere. Oh, just as the glass shatters from inside every.
Andrea
I would like to see a heist movie about the Team that tries to steal those from the museum.
Gareth Reynolds
National League treasure.
Dave Anthony
Yes. Need it. All right. Dreams of the blind. This is gonna be bad.
Gareth Reynolds
Of course it's gonna be bad.
Dave Anthony
It's gonna be terrible.
Gareth Reynolds
Yep.
Dave Anthony
The dreams of the blind are of great importance.
Gareth Reynolds
It's true. I don't disagree so far.
Dave Anthony
And the fact that persons.
Andrea
I don't care how able bodied or not you are. I don't want to hear about your dreams. They're boring.
Gareth Reynolds
I agree.
Andrea
I want to talk about my dreams.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't agree.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, there.
Andrea
You're like the subway takes guy who shows up on my Instagram. Yeah, okay.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, okay.
Andrea
100 agree.
Gareth Reynolds
Ah, wait, Dave, I got. I gotta come back. I unplugged the wrong part. Yeah, hold on. Sorry.
Dave Anthony
Reynolds.
Andrea
Summer pneumonia for you.
Dave Anthony
What an ass.
Andrea
Well, I guess I'm your co host going forward. I have so much availability. So this is Right.
Dave Anthony
That's. Yeah. Sorry we had to fire him.
Andrea
That's okay.
Gareth Reynolds
Sorry. I was trying to charge my computer and I pulled out the wrong cord like an idiot.
Andrea
That is something an idiot would do.
Gareth Reynolds
I agree. Am I okay, Dan?
Dave Anthony
I mean, define what that means.
Gareth Reynolds
I know in life I could.
Dave Anthony
I could work some stuff out for you. Just for life.
Gareth Reynolds
I agree.
Dave Anthony
Stuff.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. All right. So. Sorry about that.
Andrea
So disrespectful to the blind.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Andrea
And deaf.
Dave Anthony
I mean, that. That was. Yeah, that was very coincidental.
Gareth Reynolds
It was not great what I just did. I'm not going to lie.
Andrea
When I move my left arm, the wire moves. Can you hear that? Like.
Gareth Reynolds
No, no, that.
Dave Anthony
No, that's okay.
Andrea
So I should be. I should try to make it loud. I should try to.
Dave Anthony
As much as you can.
Gareth Reynolds
Exactly. Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, yeah.
Andrea
Sorry for interrupting, Dave. Well, it won't happen again for a couple more moments.
Dave Anthony
We have you here not to talk, but just to sit there.
Andrea
To be seen but not heard.
Dave Anthony
Thank you.
Gareth Reynolds
Thank you. Sounds like you're doing a lot of hearing though.
Dave Anthony
Reynolds.
Gareth Reynolds
Dave.
Andrea
Andrea.
Gareth Reynolds
Are we just saying each other's names? Yeah, more. It's going good. Anthony.
Andrea
Backwards.
Gareth Reynolds
Ah.
Andrea
I think we should be on cnn.
Gareth Reynolds
I agree.
Dave Anthony
The. The dreams of the blind are of great importance. And the fact that persons born blind never dream of seeing is established by the investigations of competent inquirers.
Andrea
That's what they used to call detectives.
Gareth Reynolds
Now they got.
Dave Anthony
Now they don't. I don't.
Andrea
And another true.
Gareth Reynolds
No, that can't be true.
Dave Anthony
Right?
Andrea
No. I'm so full of it today.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
If you could never see, wouldn't you just create in your mind Versions of what you think it would be. And then you would dream about that.
Gareth Reynolds
I'll answer. As the only blind person here.
Andrea
I've.
Gareth Reynolds
Often wondered, when you listen to Stevie Wonder, that's why they call him Stevie Wonder. You always wonder. He's so. Much of what he writes is visual. Like, there's so many things where I'm like, what does he do?
Andrea
Like, superstition.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he is. He's, like, writing something nasty on the bathroom wall, and I'm like, stevie.
Andrea
Yeah, but that's braille. He's writing braille.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, Jesus Christ. Race.
Dave Anthony
Okay, well, a. This is what AI says, because.
Andrea
So, Steve, you just destroyed a Brazilian rainforest by.
Dave Anthony
Yes, them. I need to know about blind people dreaming. Oh, my God. What's more important?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, he's real ballsy.
Dave Anthony
Y. AI says, yes, people do dream, although their dreams can differ from those of sighted individuals. While sighted people often dream with vis vivid visual images, blind individuals may dream more with other senses, like sound, taste, touch, and smell.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't understand.
Andrea
I dream of people wearing cotton.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, nightmare.
Dave Anthony
I dream of just me in wool panties in a desert.
Andrea
I dream of Genie.
Gareth Reynolds
Dave dreams of people wearing hats. Or as we call it, I dream a beanie. I'm gonna apologize.
Dave Anthony
Apologize.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm gonna unplug everything.
Dave Anthony
Apologize.
Gareth Reynolds
Listen, I'm sorry, Andrea. I didn't.
Dave Anthony
So this is the crazy thing about this question that I gave to the Internet. I don't think blind people don't dream. I just want to know how they dream, and it keeps going. Yes. Yes. Blind people dream. Oh, you mean they're people. Oh, okay. Thanks for. Thanks for asking that. Of course they dream.
Andrea
I think they dream. I just don't think they feel.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, great.
Andrea
And I. By the way, I'm allowed to say that because I'm a very hateful person.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, I thought you were gonna go somewhere else. Okay, I'm allowed to say that I'm awful.
Dave Anthony
Okay, so recent research suggests that people who are blind from birth or otherwise, can still experience visual images in their dreams. Yes, that's what I thought.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes, that makes sense.
Dave Anthony
It would not make sense any other way. It. Like. It's like you're looking for a problem. It's not there.
Gareth Reynolds
I could text my blind friend.
Andrea
I.
Gareth Reynolds
What's the question for my blind buddy?
Dave Anthony
Was he born. Was he born a blind? Or did he.
Gareth Reynolds
I think he lost it. I think he lost.
Andrea
I. My. I guess I would ask him, like. Like, how long are you going to keep up this charade?
Dave Anthony
Yeah, well, I'VE tried and then say, do you have a soul? Like, just start it, like, you know, from basics.
Andrea
But smell it.
Gareth Reynolds
He let. So I'm not going to Dominic. We're sorry.
Dave Anthony
Just say. I would just say, like, what are. Are your dream. Yeah. I mean, if he lost. What if he lost it, I think it'd be a little bit different than you're born with it.
Andrea
Yeah, that's what I was like.
Dave Anthony
I think the idea is like, what's a. What's a. The visuals of a dream. Like, you want me to call him now? That's. Now it's getting weird now.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, I think it's. I think it's a bad call to make.
Andrea
I have to let my dog that Dave hates outside. He's just.
Dave Anthony
I don't hate that dog. I don't like. I don't like that you put shoes on your dog.
Gareth Reynolds
Just. What the is happening right now?
Andrea
Give me one moment, mate.
Dave Anthony
They don't need shoes. What are you doing with the dog?
Andrea
Well, I have to just let him out. I'm just gonna open the door.
Dave Anthony
She puts pictures up on Instagram and just dog and shoes. And it's not like I get, like, if it's hot pavement. Okay, put shoes on your dog. But she just does it for the hell of it on, like a Wednesday, and the temperature is 70 degrees out.
Andrea
Okay.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't know whose side I'm on, but I think I'm closer to Andrea's side than yours.
Dave Anthony
She also thinks that. She also thinks buildings should. Should look like trees. So the whole thing is.
Andrea
I think it's cute to. To paint your house with a little apple tree on it.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, your dog's very cute.
Andrea
Oh, thank you. He only wears shoes when it's. So people in my neighborhood put these signs on their lawns that say, you know, like, 84 degrees outside can be, like 93 degrees on the concrete for the dogs. So when it's really hot out, I put the shoes on his paws. But I just took a picture of him the other day when it wasn't that hot, and I said, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Shoes. And everyone loved it. And then Dave didn't like it.
Gareth Reynolds
That's. That's Dave's gear. That's Dave's whole thing.
Andrea
He's a contrarian.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
Dave Anthony
They call me Jimmy Dore.
Andrea
They call him Mr. Shoes.
Gareth Reynolds
Cotton Shoes, I'm guessing. Look who comes crawling back.
Andrea
Well, it's more. He's trot. He's trotting more than.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, fair.
Dave Anthony
So far as we know, there Is no proof of a single instance of a person born blind ever in dreams fancying what he saw. What the does that mean?
Gareth Reynolds
What are you talking about?
Dave Anthony
What does that mean?
Gareth Reynolds
That is such crazy. That is such seeing person.
Andrea
I feel like the writer is so antagonistic towards blind people that of course no one's going to talk to you about their dreams. You're a nightmare to talk to.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, right.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I have some questions about what's wrong with you.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Andrea
And how you're up and it'll be in the paper.
Dave Anthony
Then. It'll be in the paper. The subject has been treated by Joseph Jastrow in the Presbyterian review.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, good.
Andrea
Wait, Jastrow.
Gareth Reynolds
Jastrow. Do you have an issue with the name Jastrow?
Andrea
No.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm gonna call my friend Jastrow right now and get him on the phone, see how he feels.
Dave Anthony
He has examined nearly 200 persons of both sexes in the institutions for the blind in Philadelphia. 32 came became blind before completing their fifth year. And not one of these 32.
Gareth Reynolds
By the way, can we just. Dreams birthdays. From now on should be called completing whatever year that is completing your fifth year.
Dave Anthony
You finished?
Gareth Reynolds
I just graduated to six.
Andrea
Are you gonna have a party?
Gareth Reynolds
I'm having a party. I've completed another year.
Dave Anthony
32 became blind before completing their fifth year. And not one of these 32 sees in dreams Concerning Laura Bridgman, the blind and deaf mute. Professor Stanley hall, quoted by Mr. Jastrow, says, quote, sight and hearing are absent from her dreams as they are from dark and silent world, which alone she does.
Gareth Reynolds
That's.
Dave Anthony
You can't just be black.
Gareth Reynolds
She dreams and nothings. You go ahead, Dave, get mad.
Dave Anthony
I mean, the whole thing is just to make them.
Gareth Reynolds
It's very strange.
Dave Anthony
They're not like us.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
Andrea
That. I. I'm like. This isn't news.
Dave Anthony
No, it's not.
Gareth Reynolds
I think I agree as well with that. But the news to me is they dream of void.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. That's breaking.
Gareth Reynolds
Breaking news. Yeah. Right. Front page news.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. It's horseshit. It's horseshit. I said it. This hot weather will be making. This is just a random. There's no headline. This hot weather will be making the corn of the corn. This hot weather will be the making of the corn crop. And a bountiful yield of that cereal will make this country even in a presidential year to blossom like a rose.
Andrea
Famous last words.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Just like last year, a big corn.
Dave Anthony
Crop will put an end to the railroad wars out west and thus add to the general prosperity. I mean.
Gareth Reynolds
So, once again, corn. So to corn.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, we.
Andrea
One thing I'm noticing is that we have a lot of corn now. Almost too much corn. But back then, it was never enough corn.
Gareth Reynolds
We've overcorrected as we're hearing.
Dave Anthony
Corn can change the world. It can stop the wars. It can. It's just once you're heavy on corn.
Andrea
Corn a chance, honestly.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Corn was like the bitcoin of the 1880s.
Gareth Reynolds
It was called bitcorn back then.
Dave Anthony
Don't encourage.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
This ought to be consolation enough to endure this kind of weather for a season. Oh, they're saying, enjoy the hot weather because we're going to a lot of corn.
Gareth Reynolds
Your pain now is future corn.
Dave Anthony
It's hot, but we're going to be full corn.
Gareth Reynolds
My son passed away from the heat, but you're going to get a lot of corn this fall.
Andrea
I don't have a voice, but I have a question, which is that. Is this a national newspaper?
Dave Anthony
This seems like a voice that you're making now.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Go back to your regular one.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Is this a national paper?
Andrea
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Bring back. Bring back Andreas.
Gareth Reynolds
Do they have those there? There was a. Yeah, right, Dave.
Andrea
Like, were they reading this in California?
Gareth Reynolds
No.
Dave Anthony
Sometimes at this time, they did have, like, an AP so you could get stuff off the wire so you could get college credit.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah.
Dave Anthony
Yes. College credit. That's right.
Andrea
A pu.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. But listen. Shout out. Go Lions.
Dave Anthony
Queer people.
Gareth Reynolds
Careful, everyone. Careful.
Dave Anthony
Mine weren't. We're going in. Queer people. Some of these religionists. Oh, I see what I see. Queer people. Some of these religion. He just. He left out a word.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
That he could. At Ocean Grove Saturday night. The singing of a Boston lady. So enthused 8,000 people attending the meeting of the National Temperance Society that they entirely forgot themselves and their pro. Applause ran into a tumultuousness that almost caused a riot.
Gareth Reynolds
See, that's why you need booze.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Now you're gonna, like, you're gonna have a riot over clapping. It's like. Yeah, it really is.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Brendan Fraser in the center of another clap riot.
Dave Anthony
You gotta be drunk if you're gonna riot.
Andrea
The police always started clap riot.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
They always do. Fuckers. The vocalist had to repeat her solo to quell the tumult. Oh, so you. That's one way to stop, Right. That we. We lost to history is you sing.
Gareth Reynolds
I, I, I've been in the center of a couple riots trying to sing and it did not work.
Dave Anthony
What. What did you sing?
Gareth Reynolds
Tub thumping.
Andrea
But he forgot the words.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Well, it's a confusing song. And most. And a lot of it sounds just like talking. I was like, wait, I'm about to sing. I drink a whiskey drink I drink a funky drink I drink a lager drink I drink a cider drink. I think the songs. Hold on. Ah. And then I'm beaten.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. It sounds like your fault a little bit.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't agree.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Now that the Canadian government has called off its cruisers, instructed its lawyers to discontinue proceedings against captured fishing craft, and bat completely down from its policy due bluster and annoyance, it would not be well to put behind us all this miserable, petty squabbling about mackerel and cultivate.
Gareth Reynolds
It's so Canadian. Another mackerel argument. Wow.
Dave Anthony
And about mackerel and cultivate larger trade, better acquaintance and friendlier relations with our neighbors next door. So we were. We were having mackerel fights.
Andrea
So they were trading mackerel. I just want to get this right. They were trading mackerel to the US Exchange for bitcorn.
Gareth Reynolds
Yep.
Dave Anthony
Yes. Bitcoin. Yes. And. And, and then we had more corn than they had mackerel. So, you know, now we gotta do tariffs.
Andrea
Right? Of course.
Dave Anthony
What else are you gonna do?
Andrea
Something I definitely understand.
Gareth Reynolds
Well. And I. This is so funny to hear Canada as its own country because now I just picture it as a big part of America.
Dave Anthony
Right. It's like Texas.
Gareth Reynolds
It's ours. Yeah. But to. But kind of stupid.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
It's like, I mean, less measles. I call it measles Texas.
Dave Anthony
Thank you. But we're going to get them measles.
Gareth Reynolds
Huh?
Dave Anthony
For sure. We're going to get them measles. We're going to Measles.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. We'll give them measles.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
For mackerel. Mackerel for measles. You give us mackerel, we'll give you measles, you weirdos.
Dave Anthony
It's called trading.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Andrea
Making a Deal did a stand up set for that nonprofit, by the way. I mackerel for measles.
Gareth Reynolds
Now, let's just jump out quickly because we've worked with mackerel for.
Andrea
There's a benefit show that I was on.
Gareth Reynolds
We've worked with them for a while. We've worked with them for a long time and they do great work, you know, and that's very nice to hear. That's good for you to.
Andrea
I bombed. But, you know, it was the thought.
Dave Anthony
Who doesn't? Some of the hardest people are the. The people who eat mackerels. And have measles.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, I get so hard after eight macros. It's crazy. I really do. It's nuts. Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
I mean, yeah.
Andrea
Same.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, it's just crazy. Yeah.
Dave Anthony
And that's why I'll just sometimes back up a whole mackerel truck and just dump it in Garrett's yard.
Gareth Reynolds
I go wild. I basically. By the end, it looks like Saltburn with mackerel. I'm just in there. Yard humping. By the way, that's another Chumbawamba song. Yard humping.
Andrea
It's actually very different.
Gareth Reynolds
It's a different one. Yeah. Yeah. He eats a macromouse. Yeah. No.
Dave Anthony
Oh, God. I got another. Attention Democrat Secretary Whitney of the Navy has ordered Rear Admiral Loose to send all.
Gareth Reynolds
Rear Admiral Loose. Hold on.
Dave Anthony
That is now.
Gareth Reynolds
Now I'm Mackerel Hard. Rear Admiral Loose. Hello.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Hello.
Gareth Reynolds
Don't mind if I do.
Dave Anthony
That's a. Actually, that'd be a good name for.
Gareth Reynolds
I'd rather Rear Admiral Tight or.
Dave Anthony
Ordered Real Admiral Loose to send all available ships of the North Atlantic squadron to the Canadian fishing waters to protect the interests of our American fishermen. This is done pending the ratification of the treaty negotiations. In the event of any trouble, the appearance of the American and Canadian warships in the same waters may give it a resemblance of war. But we hope there will be no outbreak. Man, I had no idea we almost went to war over mackerel. It's really amazing.
Andrea
We're always this close.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Always.
Gareth Reynolds
Just. Yeah, just whatever. Yeah, it's just like, you know, mineral, fine, earth minerals, whatever we're looking for. At the time. Mackerel used to. Because didn't phones used to run on mackerel? Dave. Or am I drunk?
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Andrea
That's why we had to kill Lumumba.
Dave Anthony
That's right. No, think about it.
Gareth Reynolds
History smiles upon. Just. We really had no choice.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. No. Our whole America's whole history is basically. You want to fucking try me?
Gareth Reynolds
Democracy everywhere. Not so fast. Actual democracy.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. How dare you.
Andrea
And I also. It's like I didn't even vote for Admiral Loose.
Gareth Reynolds
Is that true?
Andrea
Well, I did write in.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Okay. That's right.
Andrea
So I did vote. But.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
Gareth voted for Admiral Tight. Obviously.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
No, I'm just gonna leave you there.
Gareth Reynolds
Sorry, I don't know what just happened. Honestly. Really faded into that.
Dave Anthony
A curious fatality is reported to have followed the parties to a suit in Washington county in Illinois. The man making the note to secure the payment of which he gave a mortgage on his farm and flowering mill died just after the Foreclosure proceedings on the property had taken place.
Andrea
He's just.
Dave Anthony
Then one. Yeah, just. Just a youngin. Then one of the mortgagees died and soon afterwards.
Gareth Reynolds
That's the right term. I think anyone who's dealt in real estate knows that that term holds up. That's. We held on to that for sure.
Andrea
Someone think of the mortgages.
Gareth Reynolds
The mortgages.
Dave Anthony
And soon afterward, the Master in Chancery, who by organ.
Gareth Reynolds
Another one. Yeah, this is. Anyone who's tried to close on a house is very familiar with all of these. These terms because they've held up your roof Wizard.
Andrea
The Master and Chancery. I don't want to know that person's spelling.
Gareth Reynolds
Master Chancery. So you just have to sign a couple more documents and then the Master and Chancery will come over. He'll fight the notary. And if the notary survives, then you are in escrow.
Andrea
Escrow? Just a picture of me in front of my first house holding a mackerel.
Gareth Reynolds
I did it.
Dave Anthony
Soon afterward, the Master of Chancery, who by order of the court was to have made the sale, died.
Gareth Reynolds
What? That means it's yours.
Dave Anthony
Well, this is a cursed house. This is a cursed mortgage.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, right, sure.
Dave Anthony
It's a haunted mortgage.
Andrea
Which mortgage isn't?
Gareth Reynolds
Thank you.
Dave Anthony
This death of the sheriff who served.
Andrea
Sheriff, Is it interchangeable?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. What's happening, Master Chant? Okay.
Dave Anthony
The death of the sheriff who served. The writ soon followed.
Andrea
Oh, I see. We interrupted.
Dave Anthony
And then. And then the son of the original owner, who was the executor of the estate.
Gareth Reynolds
No. What?
Dave Anthony
This is a haunted mortgage.
Gareth Reynolds
Holy.
Dave Anthony
Or will? Is it a haunted will?
Andrea
The writer isn't including is that they died 25 years apart each.
Gareth Reynolds
I mean, on a night just like tonight. Oh. This is one of those ones that if you want to close on the property, you have to spend a full night in it alone. Then it's yours. Yeah.
Dave Anthony
They don't really give any time line on this, so it totally.
Gareth Reynolds
That's fine.
Dave Anthony
Decades.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, well, they wouldn't. Why would they tell you that?
Dave Anthony
Next, the other mortgage. He died, leaving the interest in the mortgage to two nephews, one of whom shortly died.
Gareth Reynolds
What? What the is happen? Two nephews?
Andrea
Wait, so the order is Admiral, or is that a Admiral?
Gareth Reynolds
Admiral?
Dave Anthony
No. Are we doing Admirals? No, there's Admiral.
Andrea
No. Chancellor to Sheriff to two nephews.
Dave Anthony
No, you. You left one out. So.
Gareth Reynolds
And the son.
Dave Anthony
So the original guy. The original guy dies, the mortgagee dies, and then the Master of Chancery dies.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm glad he's gone, by the way. Way.
Andrea
There was no angel.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
And then the sheriff died. Which.
Gareth Reynolds
Dave.
Dave Anthony
Okay. And then. And then the son of the original owner who was executor, died. And then the more. And then the next mortgage, he died.
Gareth Reynolds
And then the nephews died.
Dave Anthony
And then one of the nephews. One of them died.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, I'm rooting.
Dave Anthony
So the last guy is like just sitting pretty. He's like, I'm rich. Yeah, you got it all.
Gareth Reynolds
Sure. I mean, he has no one to share it with, but that's the American dream.
Andrea
Well, maybe there's a niece.
Gareth Reynolds
And this time. This is before nieces were invented. It's just called your sister's kid.
Dave Anthony
Thus making the seventh death of parties connected with the case. Each death has, of course, delayed proceedings. And for once, the grim monster seems to have got the best of the courts.
Andrea
The Grim Monster.
Dave Anthony
I think he's talking about the grim Reaper.
Andrea
No. No relation.
Gareth Reynolds
Excuse me.
Dave Anthony
This is my cousin, the Grim Monster.
Gareth Reynolds
Hi. I can't kill.
Andrea
I thought it was his nephew.
Dave Anthony
It could be nephew. Well, whatever. So the nephew got it. I'm happy. This is a happy story.
Gareth Reynolds
No, it isn't. Fifteen people died for one guy to get a house. Kind of.
Andrea
It's just nice to hear a nephew secure a W for once.
Gareth Reynolds
You don't hear enough right anymore. You really don't. There's not enough feel good nephew stories anymore.
Andrea
Well, it's. It doesn't. It doesn't make a good headline.
Gareth Reynolds
No, it's true. Nephew succeeds. Pass.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Nobody cares. The hottest day. Saturday and Sunday work.
Gareth Reynolds
They're obsessed with these. The weather. They're like, oh, my God, shit's gonna be sweaty on Sunday.
Dave Anthony
Well, think about the corn.
Andrea
It's like that. Nothing beyond small talk had been invented yet.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Andrea
So all the articles were about the weather.
Gareth Reynolds
It's just like, it's. This paper should be called the things my grandma said over the Weekend.
Andrea
So grandmas were invented, but not allegedly.
Gareth Reynolds
If allegedly talk about wool underwear. What?
Dave Anthony
Grandma's.
Gareth Reynolds
Huh?
Andrea
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
I brought it back to what see.
Dave Anthony
You later was in the first story.
Gareth Reynolds
It was hot.
Andrea
Oh, I wasn't there for that.
Dave Anthony
No, he said you should wear wool.
Gareth Reynolds
That was a half hour ago. Nobody knows what you're talking about.
Dave Anthony
Oh, sorry.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, the mortgagee. Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Thank you, Reynolds.
Gareth Reynolds
That's funny. That was funny.
Dave Anthony
Saturday and Sunday were considered the hottest days since the heat term began. But we think today takes the cake.
Andrea
We. We're using we language.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, so. So it's. It's hot enough to be a new story. Take a. You Guys, guess what? How hot you think it'll be?
Andrea
68.
Gareth Reynolds
Yowza.
Dave Anthony
94.
Gareth Reynolds
4. Ooh.
Dave Anthony
The thermometer at 10am stood at 96 in the shade, and at 12 noon, 98 degrees.
Gareth Reynolds
96 in the shade. I like that.
Dave Anthony
That's like. That's like burning hot for the 1880s.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Now it's like Tuesday.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
In consequence of the intense heat, but few persons were seen upon our streets, and mechanics that were engaged upon buildings exposed to the sun's rays were compelled to leave a work.
Gareth Reynolds
What? Excuse me. Nope.
Dave Anthony
There'll be no leaving of work.
Andrea
No one wants to work anymore.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, you just die.
Dave Anthony
You just die.
Gareth Reynolds
I couldn't agree more. That must be where your last name comes from. I couldn't agree more.
Andrea
I couldn't agree Andrea more.
Gareth Reynolds
That's your first album, correct?
Andrea
Yes.
Gareth Reynolds
Thank you.
Dave Anthony
You guys done?
Gareth Reynolds
Wow.
Andrea
I'm actually sitting on a pregnant pause. No, actually, I'm done.
Dave Anthony
That's why they call her Moreless.
Andrea
That's the name of my third album. Don't have a second album.
Gareth Reynolds
Interesting.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, yeah. Character in Thumbs. A French writer judges women by their thumbs. Okay. And let's see your thumbs.
Andrea
Oh, you better pay me extra for this judgment coming.
Gareth Reynolds
I want to join your only thumbs. What? A roller coaster which has not been invented.
Dave Anthony
Those with large thumbs are said to be more likely to possess native intelligence, while the small thumbs indicate feeling.
Andrea
I like this kind of phrenology, because thumb phrenology. It's correct, yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes, it's correct.
Dave Anthony
Science has proven this out.
Gareth Reynolds
This is this big thumbed woman does not feel a thing.
Andrea
That's how they know I'm a Jew. They measured my thumb.
Gareth Reynolds
There we are. We've got the Jew.
Dave Anthony
I don't so this, but nobody's like, if you're a big person, you have bigger thumbs, and if you're a smaller person, you have smaller thumbs.
Gareth Reynolds
Excuse me, Dave.
Dave Anthony
I would.
Gareth Reynolds
I would remove that from the show if you want to have a career. That is so offensive. That is so.
Andrea
I don't know what subreddits you're on, honestly, where you're hearing that. But that's crazy. The audacity.
Gareth Reynolds
I've met many fat people with small thumbs and skinny with hitchhiker digits. It's Disgust. David is 20, 25.
Dave Anthony
Can you explain hitchhiker digits?
Gareth Reynolds
The larger the thumb, the more likely the ride.
Dave Anthony
No, I don't think that's true.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes, it's true. How many small thumbs have you picked up?
Dave Anthony
Many.
Gareth Reynolds
Now. Okay. All right. Well, there you go.
Dave Anthony
Many Small thumbs.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
Many small thumbs.
Gareth Reynolds
Sure.
Dave Anthony
Particularly monkeys.
Gareth Reynolds
Have you ever listened to the chumbawomba song Tub thumbing?
Dave Anthony
The one about gravy?
Gareth Reynolds
Keep reading.
Dave Anthony
Next story.
Gareth Reynolds
We've lost Andrea. I mean, she's.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, she's out. She checked out.
Andrea
She's like, sorry, I'm just sitting with my thumbs in Scots.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
Well, now. Now she's become self conscious.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
Andrea
It feels like.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, you got great thumbs.
Dave Anthony
We're all looking at your thumb.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Andrea
You know what I was fishing? Mackerel for mackerel. I'm rich.
Dave Anthony
Colonel Bob Ingersoll recently said, if I were governor and a woman who has been abused.
Gareth Reynolds
Get ready. It's.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, it could go either way.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't like it.
Dave Anthony
Already go either way.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't like it.
Dave Anthony
And a woman who has been abused and kicked by her husband got up in the night and cut off his head with an ax. I'd give her a public reception.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, there we go. A feel good story.
Dave Anthony
He. Yeah, he is very much for the execution of abusers. Abusers.
Gareth Reynolds
That's good.
Dave Anthony
But I would also say, like Lorena Bob, not through the courts.
Gareth Reynolds
True.
Dave Anthony
Definitely not through the courts.
Gareth Reynolds
No.
Dave Anthony
He's saying women should cut off their husband's head if their husband abuses them.
Gareth Reynolds
Yep.
Dave Anthony
Which I'm kind of okay with. I mean, it's going to create a. A little more chaos in our society, but just lop the head off.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm for it.
Dave Anthony
What's. What's the losses?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, well, yeah, well, you mentioned Lorena Bobbitt there, Andrea, that seems, you know, that's. It's not okay. You're still not over.
Dave Anthony
Kind of. Kind of dickish. You know what I mean?
Andrea
Oh, that's funny.
Gareth Reynolds
Can I see the thumbs again, please?
Andrea
No.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, that's our. I don't know. I don't know if there's an equivalent.
Gareth Reynolds
That's penis 9 11.
Dave Anthony
I don't know if there's an equivalent of women that have been wronged, but that's our.
Gareth Reynolds
No, you attach a penis. That's the opposite.
Andrea
Kind of an Elon Musk situation.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave, don't look, Dave, we're on the same team right now, so I'm gonna need that.
Dave Anthony
We are.
Andrea
Penis 9 11. That was.
Gareth Reynolds
You attach a penis. Yeah. Penis 911.
Andrea
I think that was an inside job.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, that was. Yeah, that was. Yeah. If I have my way of this. And by the way, just like real 9 11, it wouldn't happen if Mark Wahlberg was there.
Andrea
That's true.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
Thank you.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Okay.
Andrea
Doesn't melt steel penises.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Thank you, Jesse. Veterans talked about it a lot. A lot, a lot.
Dave Anthony
The colonel, in his floor ways, says many brilliant things, but as a good lawyer and jurist, this is not a wise recommendation. So the paper saying, don't cut off the head of abusers.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. Don't agree.
Dave Anthony
But they're not gonna get. No one's gonna put them in jail in this time. They're going to be like, well, what'd she do? So she got lippy.
Andrea
Was he the guy who said this? Was he kind of what was considered like. Like a woke guy? Yeah, he was just saying that to get right.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, I think he probably.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrea
Like, he's going up to women and saying, I think if a woman is abused by her husband, she should be allowed to cut off.
Gareth Reynolds
You know, it's. It's a lot like, like. And then it's the, like, the Twitter allies who, like, right after that for, like, four years, like, man, I was so sick of these abusive pieces of shit. And then it was like, hey, by the way, he, like, sexually harassed me and kissed me when I didn't want it.
Andrea
Well, yeah. A few months later, this guy was missing his head.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, for sure. What was that sound effect?
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
No.
Dave Anthony
Now are you. Yeah. What are you doing over there?
Gareth Reynolds
Did you just drop a goldfish from a ladder into a mud? What just happened?
Andrea
Okay, so I'm trying a new thing in my comic book.
Gareth Reynolds
It's really good. That sound cannot be replicated.
Andrea
It's kind of a Rube Goldberg device.
Gareth Reynolds
But for sound unreal.
Andrea
Doing radio plays.
Gareth Reynolds
It's really good.
Dave Anthony
Oh, this is what. This.
Gareth Reynolds
When I.
Andrea
That happened, I was like, they're not gonna hear it.
Gareth Reynolds
Like, nobody heard that. Oh, no. It's all they heard. So she threw a marble into a kiddie pool from a cliff, and you'll.
Andrea
Never guess what happened next.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, he was. Yeah, he. He was. He. He's basically a lefty for the time. He's an abolitionist. He opposed the Chinese Exclusion act, and.
Gareth Reynolds
It'S so amazing to hear what. What a progressive was back then.
Andrea
One of my favorite acts in history in legislation is the Chinese Exclusion act because it's so. It just says what it is.
Gareth Reynolds
Right?
Andrea
Like, there's no hiding behind.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Andrea
Nomenclature. It's just like, we don't want the. The Chinese here.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, no, Asians. Specifically them. Asians.
Andrea
It's kind of refreshing in a way.
Gareth Reynolds
Well, it's not good news. Well, not anymore.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, true. Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
It's all. Now we're going back to that version. I mean, we basically right near it now.
Andrea
I'm running on a platform of the. Of trying.
Gareth Reynolds
You got to be careful. You'll fall. Inclusion act, that is. Thank you.
Dave Anthony
You're going to lose.
Andrea
I'm running coalition building. It's not always about winning.
Dave Anthony
Well, here we go. There we go.
Gareth Reynolds
You got to think long term, Dave.
Dave Anthony
Go ahead, get on your soapbox, Dave.
Gareth Reynolds
Once we're dead, this might come together.
Andrea
Once you're dead, the mortgagee is going to change hands.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. You know how this ends? A bunch of bodies scattered amongst burned trees from climate change and a parliamentarian patting themselves on the back saying, yeah, that's what it should be. This was the right play.
Andrea
Is that from a movie?
Dave Anthony
Yeah, sure.
Andrea
What are you quoting?
Gareth Reynolds
A script I wrote called the Parliamentarian.
Dave Anthony
It's a great script.
Andrea
Where is it set up?
Gareth Reynolds
Cbs.
Andrea
That's cool.
Dave Anthony
See how much you get paid? How much you get paid for it?
Gareth Reynolds
I'm paying them.
Andrea
How much? Mackerel.
Gareth Reynolds
A lot of macro. Lot. A lot of mackerel in this game right now.
Andrea
It's not what I'm hearing.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, we're following Coach.
Dave Anthony
Coach, the TV show?
Gareth Reynolds
No, no, the. The director. We call him Coach.
Andrea
What?
Gareth Reynolds
Huh? Are we still podcasters?
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, okay.
Dave Anthony
The Reverend doctor Swim. A young swam swem. SWM swim.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, okay, you idiot.
Dave Anthony
Thank you. A young Baptist minister created quite a sensation in Washington last Sunday by arraigning the Society of Women of the Capital as habitual gamblers.
Gareth Reynolds
Jesus Christ. It's pretty assaultive right now. It's like non stop, like women congregating. Look out. And then one guy's just like, if you hit him, you should die. Women chatting. Be aware.
Dave Anthony
He declared that the shameless openness with which the practice is carried on is only equaled by Monte Carlo or the gaming houses of Parisian women. Well, that's pretty. That's a low blow. That is a low blow. He told the one. He told of one young lady. Now you made my dog mad. He told of one young lady who lost $250 given her by her father for the purpose of summer toilets to be worn at an adjacent seaside resort.
Gareth Reynolds
Worn.
Dave Anthony
It says to be worn to be summer toilet.
Gareth Reynolds
I am if I have enough vodka. Hello, Summer toilet. Hello.
Dave Anthony
I don't. I don't. I guess I don't quite understand what A toilet.
Gareth Reynolds
Diaper.
Andrea
So a toilet.
Dave Anthony
I think someone's trying to get in.
Andrea
Let me let him in.
Gareth Reynolds
Let get him on the show.
Andrea
Give them open borders. I have an Open borders policy. But about Dave's house, I completely.
Gareth Reynolds
I've been saying that to him for a while. He won't. By the way. The only people who let in are the Chinese. I don't know if you've seen that.
Andrea
Well, like you said, he's a contrarian.
Gareth Reynolds
He's always going against the grain. Doors shutting, laughter happening from far away. One of his pant legs is up. Dave, are you hip hop?
Andrea
He was cycling. He went on a bike ride with.
Gareth Reynolds
A one legged bike ride.
Dave Anthony
I forgot that I had a dog walker coming and so the dog walker, the. The dog saw the dog walker and lost.
Gareth Reynolds
Is that like a zombie dog?
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Some days you can't walk your dog because you're podcasting all day.
Andrea
Some days you can't walk your dog because you can't find their fourth shoe.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, do it.
Dave Anthony
Don't you.
Andrea
You can only find three shoes.
Gareth Reynolds
I think I heard your fourth shoe drop in the mug.
Dave Anthony
Andrea, has this happened?
Andrea
I'm just waiting for the fourth shoe to drop.
Dave Anthony
Andrea, has that happened? Have you not been able to walk your dog because you couldn't find the. For sure?
Andrea
I mean, that's kind of the excuse I'm telling myself for not.
Gareth Reynolds
Well, I can't find that for you. I guess I'll just live in poop.
Dave Anthony
Okay, back to this. He told the one young lady who lost $250 given her by her father for the purpose of summer toilets.
Andrea
Sorry. The second time was really funny.
Gareth Reynolds
Which happens. That's just happening. Summer toilets.
Dave Anthony
I just don't understand.
Gareth Reynolds
What are you doing? It's February. Get out of here.
Dave Anthony
My God.
Gareth Reynolds
What are you doing?
Dave Anthony
You can't use a summer toilet.
Gareth Reynolds
There's a winter toilet over there.
Dave Anthony
To be worn at the adjacent.
Gareth Reynolds
That's a Frank Sinatra song, isn't it?
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Summer toilets.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, Summer toilets.
Dave Anthony
I. I have no idea what's happening in this sentence.
Gareth Reynolds
Nobody does.
Andrea
I have some semblance.
Gareth Reynolds
What?
Andrea
Oh, I'm gonna reveal that information.
Dave Anthony
Such.
Gareth Reynolds
Summer toilets.
Dave Anthony
Summer toilet.
Gareth Reynolds
I can't wait for school to be over so I could go into the summer toilets.
Dave Anthony
I mean, I looked it up and. And you can buy a summer toilet. But it's like still.
Gareth Reynolds
It's like, it's like for daily, very expensive summer toilet. I want to buy a summer toilet for potty training by myself.
Dave Anthony
I wonder if it's like a.
Andrea
Why don't you read more and then maybe we'll be able to understand the context.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm not opposed to that.
Dave Anthony
When you go on your summer vacation, you Go out to the country and you bring a temporary toilet, like a portable toilet. Like you bring a portable toilet, sometimes known as a bucket.
Andrea
I just call them summer buckets.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Even though it's a Beach Boys album.
Dave Anthony
And anyway, he gave her money to buy summer toilets.
Gareth Reynolds
She. I. I still. I'm not accepting it. She didn't. Because she was like, there's no such thing as a summer toilet, so I'm going to just use this money. We literally all have Googled it and nothing is happening.
Dave Anthony
And now her dad is like, it's summertime. I'm on.
Gareth Reynolds
She just. She just convinced him that was the thing. She's like, dad, can I have some money for the summer toilets? You girls and your summer toilets. Here you go, sweetheart. Have fun crapping in the summer toilets.
Dave Anthony
In. In consequence of the loss, the gambling transaction became known, and the young woman has been sent out of the city by her parents. So she's been punished for not buying the summer toilets and gambling.
Gareth Reynolds
She's been banished.
Andrea
And this is in the news.
Gareth Reynolds
Correct.
Dave Anthony
Well, just check. There's a family that's not going to have a summer toilet.
Gareth Reynolds
No, no, no. There's one girl who's not gonna have a. Cry me a river, honestly, and then I'll crap in it. If it's July toilet, cry me a river. Because there's no such thing as a summer toilet. A summer toilet. That sounds like a Bravo show. Summer toilet. Don't miss the summer toilet reunion. You were where you shouldn't have. It was June. The summer toilet reunion.
Andrea
Nothing on that show is real.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, come on. I like to believe I got it.
Dave Anthony
It just sounds like it's an outhouse. In the 1800s, summer toilets generally referred to outdoor toilets, often called outhouses.
Gareth Reynolds
What was the winter toilet?
Dave Anthony
No, that's. That must be one you kept in your house.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, just your bucket.
Dave Anthony
Or it's the lake. So. And you know, in Minnesota, you're on the frozen lake in the winter, and then when the summer comes, it's called the melting of the. The toilet. And then all the. Goes down to the bottom of the lake. That's what a winter toilet is. I can't believe I have to explain this to someone.
Andrea
Can I say something? I find all of this so crass.
Gareth Reynolds
I agree. The show used to be about history, and now you're talking about ice crapping.
Andrea
It used to have good family values.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, I think this is. I think this is romantic and sexy. Sexy talk.
Gareth Reynolds
Crapping on the ice.
Andrea
Ever since I showed my thumbs, the vibe has Changed.
Gareth Reynolds
I agree. That really was when everything changed.
Dave Anthony
I really thought that it would be different. I thought you'd have huge thumbs.
Gareth Reynolds
What are you doing? What are you doing in the winter toilet? What do you go with it?
Dave Anthony
What do you mean what do I. What do I go with it? Her or me?
Andrea
Where do you go? Where do you take your winter toilet?
Gareth Reynolds
Thank you. To the ice cafe.
Dave Anthony
Yes, I take my winter. Anytime I go to a hockey game, I'll take it to the park.
Gareth Reynolds
What is the win? Are we just going bucket inside when it's cold? Is that what's happening?
Andrea
So, I mean, that makes sense.
Dave Anthony
I think. I think a winter toilet is an indoor toilet.
Gareth Reynolds
But again, considering the smells we're already up against.
Andrea
Yeah, but Gareth, it's so cozy.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, my God, it is cozy.
Dave Anthony
It is very cozy.
Gareth Reynolds
How's your book? Just in a one bedroom cabin.
Andrea
Okay, It's a one bedroom, two winter toilet.
Gareth Reynolds
No, no, I mean, I think the.
Dave Anthony
Point is it don't gamble away your winter toilet funds.
Gareth Reynolds
You know, summer toilet.
Dave Anthony
Sorry, summer toilet or winter toilet. Just don't gamble winter toilet funds.
Gareth Reynolds
Like a diet bucket.
Dave Anthony
Similar cases were told about. And in conclusion, the doctor made the sweeping declaration that the young ladies of Washington spend their days in private poker playing.
Andrea
Private poker playing. Sorry, I have an audition coming up.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, keep going.
Andrea
Yeah, Private poker play.
Gareth Reynolds
Private Andrea Moore.
Andrea
These are my thumbs. And I'm based on.
Gareth Reynolds
Are you willing to shave them?
Andrea
Yes.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, good.
Dave Anthony
Are you willing to wear cotton underwear?
Andrea
Yes, I'll do anything.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. All right. So you're auditioning for Leslie. We're replacing her on summer buckets.
Andrea
So. So you admit that it's all made up?
Gareth Reynolds
No, no. Her assistant. We're casting her assistant. Everything else remains true.
Dave Anthony
The doctor seems to be well posted on Washington society. And he may be a very moral and conscientious man. But if he expects to reform these society ladies by his preaching, he will do more than any other minister has done in their time. There is nothing like trying brother swim.
Gareth Reynolds
Huh?
Andrea
He's saying, there's nothing like trying brother swim.
Dave Anthony
They're saying the paper saying, go, go get him.
Gareth Reynolds
Huh?
Dave Anthony
Do you want to know how much rents were?
Gareth Reynolds
Does this have a winter toilet or is this just Eastport?
Dave Anthony
This is just an ad. Cheap rent, Eastport. Wait, I want to get houses.
Andrea
Tell me the number of per month. How many beds and baths?
Dave Anthony
It doesn't say. It says new brick. It says new brick houses. That's all it says.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm gonna go to Zillow. Time traveler. What year Was this again?
Dave Anthony
This is 1888. How much per month? What do you think?
Andrea
I'm gonna guess $20.
Gareth Reynolds
$3.
Andrea
Wait, 20 is way too high. I'm gonna guess $3.
Gareth Reynolds
What the.
Dave Anthony
Andrew wins. It's $6 a month.
Gareth Reynolds
What? What the.
Dave Anthony
I won because you did cheated three. Which is.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Oh.
Dave Anthony
This is 3838 Charles Street. Wow, that's pretty. $6 a month. What. What do you think that is? I wonder what that is in today's money.
Gareth Reynolds
Well, it's gonna be really small because we rent used to be, like, marginally affordable. Now $6, I mean, it's gonna be cheap. It's gonna be like 450.
Dave Anthony
$4 and 50 cents.
Andrea
I think it's gonna go down. Yeah, I think it's cheaper.
Dave Anthony
Oh, my God. It's $200.
Gareth Reynolds
That's.
Andrea
Oh, that's outrageous. For that little place.
Gareth Reynolds
Plus first and last.
Andrea
And you know you're not getting your full deposit back.
Gareth Reynolds
That's. I remember when I. When I was like, this is not too long ago when I was in Wisconsin at my buddy's place, and it was huge. And I was like, what do you pay a month? He's like, it's pretty bad. It's like 350. I was like, like.
Andrea
And he meant $3 and 50 cents.
Gareth Reynolds
He was tied. $3. That's exactly right. Oh, well, we did it. Andrea, thank you for joining us.
Andrea
That was so short. Let's talk for another hour.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. That's why they call you Andrea Moore, isn't it?
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
A little bit extra.
Andrea
Everyone's last name comes from a story like that.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, like Dave Madman. Now, Andrew, where can people get tickets to the show May 14th?
Andrea
I don't know.
Dave Anthony
Look it up at the punchline.
Andrea
Oh, yeah, the Punchline website.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, go to the Punchline. Also, the GoFundMe for the dog shoes still on.
Gareth Reynolds
Is that still a thing?
Andrea
The GoFundMe? I bought those dog shoes with my very own money.
Gareth Reynolds
Huh. Okay.
Dave Anthony
It's not what I heard.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, there's a lot of rumors online. I'm looking.
Andrea
Okay, well, only half of them are true, so you'd be the judge.
Gareth Reynolds
All right, well, listen, I think. I mean, I learned a lot about thumbs and really Toilets. The legacy for this one of me is the summer toilets.
Dave Anthony
We all learned a little bit.
Andrea
For me, I learned that blind people can. Can dream visually. I actually have no idea.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, they mostly see dragons.
Gareth Reynolds
All right, everyone, that's the end of this one.
Andrea
Bye.
Dave Anthony
Thank you. Say bye.
Gareth Reynolds
You got to stay some of these days. You'll miss me, honey. Some of the hey Dollop fans. I know you love the Dollop. You love listening to the Dollop. Do you want to watch the Dollop? You're like Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five parter animation which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode, I can't remember, of the rube, you can go to LakeSide Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the rube. It, it really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one so go there and watch the rube.
Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Episode 128 - The Past Times with Andrea More
Release Date: June 6, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 128 of The Dollop, titled "The Past Times with Andrea More," hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by guest Andrea More. The trio delves into historical anecdotes, blending humor with insightful commentary on bygone eras. The episode navigates through quirky newspaper headlines, peculiar societal norms, and humorous interpretations of historical events.
Guess the Year: Apparel for Hot Weather
The episode kicks off with a playful segment where Andrea More attempts to guess the publication year of an old newspaper article picked by Dave Anthony. Andrea confidently guesses 1907, while Gareth Reynolds opts for 1899. To everyone's surprise, the correct year is revealed to be 1888 (02:18).
The chosen article discusses "Apparel for Hot Weather," advising the wearers to don the "thinnest white cotton garment" to prevent a bizarre ailment termed "summer pneumonia." Dave mocks the redundancy in the article, stating, "Cotton is not an absorbent and is no more fit to be worn next to the skin than a coat of mail would be" (04:09). The hosts humorously critique the outdated and nonsensical health advice, highlighting the lack of understanding in historical public health recommendations.
Notable Quotes:
Deodorant and Historical Body Odor
Transitioning from clothing to personal hygiene, the hosts reminisce about an episode discussing deodorant's historical marketing. Dave recalls how advertisers in the Great Depression linked deodorant use to securing employment by combating body odor (07:04). This sparks a humorous debate about societal norms and the evolution of personal hygiene.
Andrea muses, "It makes me think about again how stinky people were up until like, 2023," to which Dave agrees, adding, "They were terrible smelling" (07:43). Gareth humorously shares a personal anecdote about a friend abandoning deodorant, leading to "pheromone" attraction dynamics (08:10).
Notable Quotes:
Dreams of the Blind: A Historical Perspective
A more serious yet still humorous discussion ensues about whether individuals born blind dream visually. Dave references historical studies, including one by Professor Stanley Hall quoted by Joseph Jastrow, claiming, "sight and hearing are absent from her dreams" (21:13). The hosts debate the validity of these claims, with Andrea expressing skepticism and Gareth pondering the nature of dreams without visual input.
Andrea humorously suggests, "I don't think they feel," prompting Gareth to reflect, "He is so much of what he writes is visual" (15:32). The conversation underscores the misconceptions and limited understanding of sensory experiences in the past.
Notable Quotes:
Mackerel Trade and Near War with Canada
In a fictional yet amusing account, Dave narrates a historical incident where the United States and Canada almost went to war over mackerel trade disputes. He humorously describes diplomatic tensions and the absurdity of trading mackerel for commodities like "bitcorn" (30:00). The segment satirizes international trade relations and showcases the hosts' knack for blending historical facts with comedic embellishments.
Notable Quotes:
Haunted Mortgage: A Cursed Real Estate Tale
The conversation shifts to a spooky narrative about a "haunted mortgage" in Washington County, Illinois. Dave recounts a series of unfortunate deaths connected to foreclosure proceedings, suggesting a curse where multiple individuals linked to the case meet untimely demises (33:06). Andrea and Gareth play along, adding layers of humor by personifying the "Grim Reaper" and mocking the convoluted legal jargon involved.
Notable Quotes:
Thumb Phrenology and Absurd Judgments
A segment on thumbs leads to a discussion on phrenology-like beliefs where thumb size correlates with intelligence and emotions. Dave claims, "Science has proven this out," while Gareth sarcastically refers to Gareth's own thumb as indicative of his character (39:54). The hosts mock pseudoscientific theories with playful jabs and ribald humor.
Notable Quotes:
Summer Toilets and Historical Misunderstandings
A humorous misunderstanding arises around the term "summer toilets," which Andrea interprets as portable toilets, while Dave explains them as outdoor outhouses from the 1800s (54:28). The hosts creatively riff on the concept, blending historical context with modern-day slang, leading to a series of comedic exchanges about portable and indoor toilets.
Notable Quotes:
Concluding Banter and Promotions
As the episode nears its end, Andrea More participates in light-hearted banter, discussing dog shoes and upcoming stand-up sets. The hosts wrap up with promotional details about Andrea's performances and a partnership with Lakeside Animation for animated episodes (60:36).
Notable Quotes:
Final Thoughts
Episode 128 of The Dollop presents a blend of historical exploration and comedic improvisation. Through quirky segments and spontaneous humor, Dave, Gareth, and Andrea provide an entertaining take on historical events and societal norms, making history both informative and hilariously relatable for listeners.
Notable Timestamped Quotes
End of Summary