Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Episode 130 - The Past Times with Luke Simmons
Release Date: June 28, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 130 of The Dollop, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds welcome guest Luke Simmons to delve into fascinating and quirky historical anecdotes sourced from old newspapers. The trio engages in humorous banter, navigating through various historical mishaps and oddities with their signature comedic flair.
Setting the Scene
00:04 - Gareth Reynolds kicks off the episode by introducing the format: each week, they examine an old newspaper from a randomly selected historical date chosen by Dave Anthony. He humorously notes, “I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Luke Simmons.”
00:21 - Luke Simmons joins in, leading to playful interactions about their current location in a van at Inspiration Point in San Francisco. Gareth quips about Luke’s rough day, mentioning incidents like putting oats in the toilet and dropping an enamel cup out of the van.
Tour Troubles and Mishaps
00:59 - The conversation shifts to discussing tour mishaps. Gareth shares a favorite story about technical difficulties during a live show where Dave misses dropping scrambled eggs onto a table, resulting in a comedic stage stumble. Luke humorously remarks, “You can't make an omelette without spilling a few eggs” (02:30), highlighting the chaotic yet entertaining nature of their tours.
Aldeen Eagle: Newspaper Segment
03:14 - Moving into the main segment, Dave introduces this week’s newspaper: the Alden Eagle from Alden, Minnesota, dated January 23, 1880. The hosts engage in a playful guessing game about the publication year, with Gareth ultimately winning by correctly identifying it as 1880.
04:14 - They delve into an article from the Hastings Gazette discussing a frustrated newspaper man contemplating suicide by benzene after his efforts to produce a quality paper are unappreciated. Luke laments, “Before they had Facebook, people had to angrily post in the newspaper they ran,” (04:48), connecting past and present media frustrations.
Carriage Chaos in Wheeling, Virginia
06:27 - The hosts transition to another newspaper piece about a carriage accident in Wheeling, Virginia. Gareth humorously punning, “Don't enter Wheeling if you don't want control of your wheels,” (06:37), sets the tone for their comedic analysis.
07:00 - The story narrates how a “choice girl” was nearly thrown from a runaway carriage but was saved by the driver catching her, preventing a fatal plunge. Luke adds flair with dark humor, suggesting, “Hey, baby. I'd like to throw myself down your precipice,” (10:11), blending irony with wit.
Flying Machines and Local News
20:31 - The conversation takes an inventive turn as Dave introduces a story about a Michigan man’s flying machine. Gareth expresses excitement, “Now we're talking,” (20:38), sparking a humorous discussion about the machine’s defect—its inability to carry a person.
21:16 - Luke contributes absurd solutions, including shrinking passengers or involving squirrels, leading to laughter and imaginative banter about unconventional flying methods.
Criminal Calendar and Satirical Reports
28:43 - The hosts explore the "Criminal Calendar," highlighting quirky crimes like masked men assaulting a paymaster with a slung shotgun and the peculiar notion of mailing queen bees. Dave dramatizes the absurdity, while Gareth mocks the impracticality, “If you can mail a queen bee, I'm gonna eat Luke's ass,” (31:35).
32:00 - Luke shares a humorous anecdote about his father encountering a live chicken at a toll booth, which adds to the episode's lighthearted and surreal storytelling style.
Undercover Boss and Effigy Pranks
40:00 - A fictionalized account of a man creating an effigy atop the Washington Monument unfolds, with Luke and Gareth humorously embellishing the narrative. Gareth summarises the prank’s intent: “They set it up to make them think a guy's dead up there,” (44:47), blending slapstick comedy with satire.
Maxims and Practical Advice Parody
46:24 - The trio parodies old newspaper health maxims, with Luke humorously misinterpreting advice like “Remove insects from the ear by tepid water,” (48:03), leading to exaggerated and nonsensical suggestions.
Final Stories and Closing Banter
50:09 - They wrap up with a satirical take on a fictional professor’s dire outlook on Earth’s demise, delivered in a Trump-like speech. Dave delivers the parody with gusto, encapsulating the episode's blend of historical oddities and comedic interpretation.
57:13 - In their closing remarks, Gareth promotes his stand-up tour locations, humorously lamenting the challenges of hosting the podcast amidst golfing chaos and Luke’s antics, such as accidentally “sawing the head off a Cabbage Patch Kid” (57:27).
58:12 - The episode concludes with light-hearted farewells, reinforcing the camaraderie and comedic spirit that defines The Dollop.
Notable Quotes
- Gareth Reynolds [00:23]: "We're in a van. Some would call it a park, sort of."
- Gareth Reynolds [03:14]: "I had a feeling."
- Luke Simmons [04:48]: "Before they had Facebook, people had to angrily post in the newspaper they ran."
- Gareth Reynolds [06:37]: "Don't enter Wheeling if you don't want control of your wheels."
- Luke Simmons [10:11]: "Hey, baby. I'd like to throw myself down your precipice."
- Gareth Reynolds [20:38]: "Now we're talking."
- Gareth Reynolds [31:35]: "If you can mail a queen bee, I'm gonna eat Luke's ass."
- Dave Anthony [44:47]: "Breathe blows through."
- Gareth Reynolds [50:57]: "That's how Luke goes."
- Dave Anthony [51:00]: "Listen here. Don't you do anything of the kind."
Conclusion
Episode 130 of The Dollop with guest Luke Simmons offers a delightful mix of historical oddities and comedic storytelling. Through their engaging discussions and witty exchanges, Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and Luke Simmons bring old newspaper tales to life, making history both entertaining and memorable for their audience.
Additional Information
For those interested in following Gareth Reynolds' stand-up tour, visit garethreynolds.com to find show dates and locations across the United States, including performances in Irvine, Nashville, Lexington, Chattanooga, Alpharetta, Fort Collins, Kansas City, Columbia, Appleton, Chicago, Fort Wayne, and Bozeman.