135 - The Past Times with Mike O'Brien

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds – Episode 135: "The Past Times with Mike O'Brien"

Release Date: July 25, 2025

In Episode 135 of "The Dollop" titled "The Past Times with Mike O'Brien," hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds welcome Mike O'Brien, co-host of the podcast "Business Trips" alongside Brad Morris. The episode delves into the humorous exploration of historical newspapers, joke writing, and the comedic experiences of the hosts and their guest.

1. Introduction and Guest Spotlight (00:00 – 02:20)

Gareth Reynolds opens the episode by introducing Mike O'Brien, highlighting his podcast "Business Trips," which features improvised episodes with notable guests like Vanessa Bayer and Beck Bennett. Mike shares insights into the podcast's direction and upcoming episodes, emphasizing its improvised nature and the fun dynamics with various guests.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds (00:04): "I’ve never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Mike O’Brien."

2. The Guessing Game: Identifying the Newspaper's Era (02:21 – 05:00)

The trio engages in an interactive segment where they examine an old newspaper and attempt to guess its publication year. Mike suggests 1912 after receiving a hint about a presidential mention, while Gareth opts for 1881. The actual year is revealed to be 1900, with Mike having the closer guess.

Notable Quote:

• Mike O'Brien (04:00): "And you have to get the exact year."

3. Analyzing and Parodying Newspaper Headlines (05:01 – 20:00)

The conversation transitions to dissecting the newspaper's content, where Dave Anthony reads out headlines filled with convoluted and humorous language. The hosts create parodies and humorous interpretations of these headlines, turning them into comedic sketches.

For instance, a headline about a mine explosion becomes a setup for jokes about dangerous workplaces and absurd safety measures. They explore the challenges of joke writing, particularly with similes and outdated language, drawing parallels with their experiences in comedy writing rooms.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Anthony (08:26): "There's been nine explosions in different minds today. When do we get to it?"
• Gareth Reynolds (15:00): "That's not funny, but it's interesting."

4. Comedy Writing and SNL Anecdotes (20:01 – 40:00)

Mike O'Brien shares his early days at "Saturday Night Live" (SNL), discussing the pressures of joke writing and the transition from improvisational comedy to structured sketch writing. The hosts reminisce about their comedic careers, including Gareth's experience opening for Steve Byrne and Dave's work on "AP Bio."

They highlight the difficulties of creating meaningful jokes from mundane or tragic headlines, emphasizing the fine line between humor and sensitivity.

Notable Quote:

• Mike O'Brien (12:00): "When I first got hired to write at SNL, I didn't really know what joke writing was like."

5. Satirical Skits Based on Headlines (40:01 – 56:00)

The hosts continue to transform newspaper headlines into satirical skits, poking fun at early 20th-century societal norms and absurd legalities. Topics range from invalid marriages due to quick divorces to the establishment of town bands as a means of community pride.

Their improvisational banter and comedic timing turn each headline into a humorous narrative, showcasing their prowess in blending history with modern comedy.

Notable Quote:

• Dave Anthony (29:17): "Mr. C.E. Conrad has purchased 18 of the Allard herd of buffalo, which have been ranging for a number of years."

6. Interactive Humor and Audience Engagement (56:01 – 60:00)

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation shifts to more interactive humor, with Gareth Reynolds sharing upcoming stand-up tour dates and promoting Mike O'Brien’s podcast. The hosts engage in playful banter, referencing their comedic styles and mutual respect for each other's work.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds (60:18): "I am on the road doing stand up comedy, which I know you all love."

7. Closing Remarks and Promotions (60:01 – 63:04)

As the episode concludes, Gareth Reynolds provides details about his upcoming stand-up performances across various cities, encouraging listeners to attend his shows. Mike O'Brien also promotes his podcast, directing listeners to his Instagram for more information.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds (63:00): "That is August 22nd through the 23rd. And then I will be in Bozeman, Montana, September 5th through September 6th. That's Bozeman, Montana."

Key Takeaways and Insights

• Humorous Exploration of History: The episode effectively blends historical content with modern comedy, making early 20th-century headlines accessible and entertaining for contemporary audiences.

• Comedic Process: Insights into joke writing, especially the creation of similes and handling sensitive topics, provide valuable perspectives for aspiring comedians.

• Collaborative Dynamics: The chemistry between Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, and Mike O'Brien highlights the collaborative nature of comedy, emphasizing mutual support and creative exchange.

Conclusion

"The Past Times with Mike O'Brien" episode of "The Dollop" is a rich tapestry of humor, history, and camaraderie. Through playful interactions and sharp wit, the hosts and their guest bring old newspapers to life, transforming mundane headlines into captivating and hilarious stories. Whether you're a history buff, a comedy enthusiast, or someone looking for an engaging listen, this episode offers a delightful blend of both worlds.

Recommended For:

• Fans of historical comedy
• Listeners interested in the behind-the-scenes of joke writing
• Admirers of "The Dollop" and its distinctive comedic style

Follow and Support:

• Mike O'Brien's Podcast: Business Trips – Check out his latest episodes and upcoming guests.
• Gareth Reynolds' Stand-Up Tour: Visit GarethReynolds.com for ticket information and show dates.

Transcript

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week, the great Mike o'. Brien.

[Mike O'Brien]

Hi, guys. Thanks for having me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mike, it is a pleasure. It's been a long time, but it's good to see you in the podcast world. You have a podcast with Brad Morris that's called Business Trips.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yep. Everyone check it out. There's 18 of them out already, and it's improvised. We have fun guests. Among the ones out there's Vanessa Bayer, Beck Bennett.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great, great.

[Mike O'Brien]

And then we're gonna start releasing new ones, which will include see Lisa Gilroy, Fred Arlison, lots of good people. Yeah, all right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's fine. Just take. I got a bunch of hay in me.

[Dave Anthony]

I haven't heard of any of those people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, me either. No, that's great. And you're on the All Things Comedy Network.

[Mike O'Brien]

That's right. I'm a proud atc.

[Dave Anthony]

I've heard of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We're. We're ATC people.

[Mike O'Brien]

And you and I used to open for Steve Byrne, which means we used to do the dance on an audience member bit at the end.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Still do it. I do it on my own shows now. I've sort of taken it.

[Mike O'Brien]

Really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, that'd be amazing.

[Mike O'Brien]

I think that's allowed pretty much. Burns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was inspired by it. Okay, well, when we were doing that, because you had really not done. You. You had kind. I think you'd been. You weren't off SNL for that long, but you were just starting to do it, and you were so immediately good at it. And then you sold AP Bio, and then you were like, I'll actually be really successful instead. And it was an interesting choice. It's a strange decision you made.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah. I. During that whole thing, I thought you meant I was good at the male dancing. That's what I'm like.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think I've ever heard about you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That you were so good at dancing.

[Dave Anthony]

That's all Gareth says about you immediately.

[Mike O'Brien]

Good. A lot of people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, you've produced a lot of stuff, and, yeah, that's great. But, man, you really danced at the end of Steve Burns show as well, man.

[Mike O'Brien]

Never, never comfortable. Always finding reasons to be like, I don't know, Steve, I'm kind of sick tonight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kind of sick. After doing Stand Up, I'm a little too sick for the stage tonight.

[Mike O'Brien]

To be honest, seemed like you were fine a minute ago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I caught it during your set. Whatever it was going around during your set. Everyone was catching it. Well, Mike, thank you for being here. We're excited to have Brad on, and everyone should go check out business trips. We are. You know, we're going to go through an old newspaper, and I think when we say that, people go, that's not exciting. It's exciting because we said so. So you get to guess what year this paper is going to be from with no context. Okay, stop, Dave, stop every face.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the magic that we do here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You get to guess what year this paper is from. I'll also guess you'll probably win because Dave is passive aggressively not letting me win this anymore.

[Dave Anthony]

We have a new. We had new wrinkle. If you don't guess it, we don't do the podcast.

[Mike O'Brien]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Mike O'Brien]

And you have to get the exact year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but it could be. Could be 1700s, 1800s. Could be 1900s. We had one in the 2000s, but it's. I would favor 1800s, 1900s if I were you.

[Mike O'Brien]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Any year, Mike. Just a year.

[Mike O'Brien]

Oh, do I guess it now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You get absolutely no President Roosevelt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, do you want to do. Do you want to do a headline from it, Dave, that doesn't give away too much?

[Dave Anthony]

I will give a hint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

There was a president.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting.

[Mike O'Brien]

1912.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's not now. Damn, 1912 is good. And I like it a lot. I really do.

[Mike O'Brien]

Well, thank you guys for having me.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, of course. Thanks for coming by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good luck with everything. I'm gonna guess 1881.

[Dave Anthony]

You're wrong. Mike is closer. It is 1900, so congratulations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now that's a legitimate win.

[Dave Anthony]

Closer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But even if. Even if I won, you would win. But that's a legit win, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it depends on what is. You know, what are the. You know, every week is different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It could be the metrics.

[Dave Anthony]

Been the same in the number.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Could be the vibe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

Could be the vibe.

[Mike O'Brien]

Definitely seems like a thing that, like, hearing a couple headlines would affect the guessing. But it's.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what? Now we don't need. I get it, Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's a great way to do it. Dave, I think it's a great way to do it. If you want to.

[Mike O'Brien]

There you go.

[Dave Anthony]

We don't need. You know, keep your producing stuff in your own. You know, we don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, I think it was a great way to do it that way.

[Mike O'Brien]

I think he got. Yeah, I think he heard I really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Respect so much about you, even outside of the way you orchestrated that yelling. You're yelling, David. Dave. Re. Dave. Look at my text. Look at my texts. I've been sending you a bunch of tech.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Fuck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, let's start. Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, did we. Did I say. I didn't say what it is. It's the Klespell B or Cali spell. I never heard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're from Kalespo, right, Mike?

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah. I grew up in Kelly. It is Kelly spell.

[Dave Anthony]

It is Kelly's. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah, we like to cater it to each guest. So this is. You can. Any. Any of the problems we're having. You can maybe fill in some of the issues.

[Dave Anthony]

So you. You grew up there. Was it nice growing up in that state?

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, it's a. You know, it's a big state, I'll give it that. Yeah. The shape of the state is the only state that's changed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's.

[Mike O'Brien]

They got a different.

[Dave Anthony]

And you like being. You like being from that area of the country?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uh huh.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Shout out to all my family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Spellbees.

[Dave Anthony]

And you guys were into what? You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the first headline? Dave?

[Dave Anthony]

Did you have horses or what'd you have?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had horses. What's first headline?

[Dave Anthony]

It's the Cali spell. As Mike says Montana, June 15, 1900. The first headline is Friday, June 15, 1900. So had I done that, it would have been terrible for the guessing game.

[Mike O'Brien]

That's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Maybe you don't have to go with the. You don't have to go with the first one. You could have gone with like the third or something. Unless that's every headline. Unless this is just some editors descent into total madness.

[Mike O'Brien]

Just run the date again. Run the date.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And look, the last few papers haven't been selling well and every day's the date. Give them the date, that's what they want. And then say the date again. Say it again. Say the date. All the ads of the date.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, Gareth. My glasses. Remember the glasses I lost on tour?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The new ones are ready. Although I just found them yesterday. The ones that I lost on tour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mike, the search for these glasses was just. I'm texting the staff at this theater in San Francisco. Hey, anything turned up? Do you think the janitors might know all this to just find out where the. Were they?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, they were in pieces. First of all, it was in. It was in three pieces, but it was in the bottom of a bag. That's why I didn't Find them because they were okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You shattered them slowly.

[Dave Anthony]

Smaller than they usually are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, good.

[Mike O'Brien]

You think a janitor got into your bag?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tell you what it's not.

[Dave Anthony]

It's crazy that there will be vengeance. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a fine theory.

[Dave Anthony]

It is customary for a new aspirant for public favor in the newspaper field to make known with its first issue its business and political policy. So this is the first, this is the first edition of the. Of the paper.

[Mike O'Brien]

You know, I. I theory that people from the past were way dumber than we are now, but that this person sounds pretty smart. I didn't know a lot of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. It's good to peel back the curtain of the newspaper business for those who like. Because I think a lot of people want to escape when they read the newspaper. But a lot of us are curious, how's the sausage made? So that's right. It's kind of nice to hear the process a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

The custom is a good one. It avoids the possibility of future misunderstandings. So you tell the people what you do and then someone's not picking up. A Democratic paper expecting Republican news.

[Mike O'Brien]

Right, Whig? This is probably a wig paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, definitely.

[Dave Anthony]

It lets people know what to expect and enables them to judge of the propriety or policy of extending moral and financial encouragement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is just sort of. This really is like a set of directions on how to make a paper. Is he supposed to be printing this? It feels like you're telling you lighting a fire under competitors asses.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people don't know. They pick up a paper and they're like, what the is this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the second page. And this will be a little less important than the first but still super cool. So just to let you know.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so right off the bat, the B will be first of all a newspaper.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yikes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feels like, you know, we could. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

If you're holding one and got to sentence four, you got that part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If I were the network, I would be like, we can get to it. We, we can get to it.

[Mike O'Brien]

There's a trip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get it? Yeah, it's a trip.

[Dave Anthony]

It expects to give the people of Northwestern Montana more and fresher news for the price asked than they have ever had before. Paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now that is not catchy. Then the price asked than they've never.

[Dave Anthony]

Had before, they've never had to pay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Got a slogan. Now we make the paper around it, democracy dies in darkness. A price that they will have never paid before asked Asked. You've been asked to pay before.

[Dave Anthony]

As fast as arrangements can be made, the bee will have correspondence in every part of the country who will be expected to do the full justice to the various sections they represent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

All right.

[Mike O'Brien]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

In short, the Kalispell B. Will endeavor to give.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Full short is not how you start any of this instance. Pretty long. I cut some of this out already, me.

[Dave Anthony]

And when it fails to do this, it will not expect the patronage of people who look to get value for what they pay out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just starting to take on like a riddle cadence.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's a crazy person, for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, the date was the easiest part of this whole thing so far.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The BS Started with the purpose of going ahead, not standing still. It will give its readers such a newspaper as they are willing to pay for, but it is not in a position to give something for nothing. In this office will be found a printing plant equal to that of any country newspaper in Montana. Call in and see them if you know anything about printing plants. It will do you good to look over this outfit. All right, so. So we gotta. We learned a little bit about what's coming.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's gonna be a newspaper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Mike O'Brien]

And it's gonna cost a little money.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Mike O'Brien]

And the reason it's gonna cost money is because they bought a big printing thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. And he's pretty. He's pretty pissed off about the whole thing. It's really not.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not a labor of love. This is like. I'll show you. Janet.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds like he might have come from another town where he set up a paper. And everyone was like, what is happening?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fuck. I'm out of here. It's not free.

[Mike O'Brien]

When I first got hired to write at snl, I didn't really know what joke writing was like. I'd come from, like, Chicago Improv, and I was, you know, knew how to do a sketch sort of, but not really. Like, update jokes. And they'd always tell new writers, if you don't get something on, like, write 10 update jokes. And I was like, I don't know what those look like, really. And then I was watching Seth, and I was like, it seems like it's just a lot of similes. You get some headline, and then, you know, obama's trying to pass health care. And then you say, that's, like, when my wife tries to convince me to eat vegetables. So I just would write, like, 10 of those every week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But this was.

[Mike O'Brien]

This was reminding me of that. I almost did. I was like, this sounds like a guy on his foot, first date saying all the problems he's got in the relationship or something. I'm like, oh, God, that's my bad. Weekend update, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll take it. That's pretty. We'll take the scraps of SNL on the show. No problem.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we'll take.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is so funny to start on that show and be like, all right, now, how do you write jokes? How does this. What's this whole idea for? What is the show really?

[Mike O'Brien]

I've never seen it, honestly, like, breaking down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just.

[Mike O'Brien]

Just having those headlines in front of you is intimidating. If you haven't, like done a lot of standup or something, it just says something like, you know, the oldest man in the world died. And you're like, I don't have a second half for that. That's impossible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's already pretty good.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, it's fine. I think just turn these back in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, maybe this isn't in an accent. That's pretty much what my stand up is. You just keep saying, I'll just say. I'll just say it in an accent. Repeated it as.

[Dave Anthony]

Explosion of dynamite.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now we're talking that.

[Mike O'Brien]

That should have let you lead with that. Now, without question, what is a newspaper?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Without question. This is. This is. This is your opener. What you read is the. How you end it to be like, if you're bored, here's some. Here's what I.

[Dave Anthony]

A terrible accident occurred today at the Hail mine, three miles from here, in which five men were instantly killed by an explosion of dynamite.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hail mine.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hail mine.

[Mike O'Brien]

They're getting Hail.

[Dave Anthony]

H A L E. Hail mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Still not helping me a ton, if I'm being honest. Oh, Tony Hale. Oh, okay. Like Tony Quirky gesturey performers. Okay, got it. That's right. Got it. That's right. Okay.

[Mike O'Brien]

But they're mining gold. They just do it like Tony Hill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They are mining gold. So five died.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyway. So five men are dead.

[Mike O'Brien]

Anyway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyway. That. That would be a good SNL one. Anyway, they all died. If you just kept pitching that every time. Yeah, it could be.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They all died. You see? Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Anyway.

[Dave Anthony]

Anyway, let's go with it in the sketch.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Seth. To really hit the. Anyway.

[Dave Anthony]

Gas explosion. This is Alberta.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was taking so long. What the.

[Dave Anthony]

An explosion of gas occurred in the Canmore coal mine today, killing eight and injuring seven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Mike O'Brien]

Unrelated mining explosions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And. And I mean, to get there, you really had to sift through some just weird, like A diary?

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, Everyone. Everyone is reading the diary, going like, is he gonna talk about the fact that our whole town blew up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's been nine explosions in different minds today. When do we get to it?

[Dave Anthony]

Miner killed. PC Done. A miner was instantly killed by an explosion of giant powder in the Gagnam mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, the. That's the Korean guy.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. Psych.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. Wow. I thought. Here I was thinking I might be alone and. Holy fuck.

[Mike O'Brien]

Talking about psy there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sigh.

[Mike O'Brien]

That. That guy had a very. There Will Be blood name, too. What was it? PC Dunham or something?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is when everyone was initials. It was only initials. That was all you were legally allowed.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he had. What was he. And there was H.W.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, I think. Oh, he was Daniel Plainview and his son was maybe hw.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's not funny, but it's interesting.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's just a fact.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just kind of an interesting. Now, Mike, you bring the joke on that. How make that funny now?

[Mike O'Brien]

Sounds like. Like when my wife goes by her initials.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Anyways. Why is anyways underlined here?

[Mike O'Brien]

British accent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah, sounds like my wife goes by to me.

[Dave Anthony]

It's better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See.

[Dave Anthony]

How about German accent?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It sounds like. Then my wife goes by pretty good.

[Dave Anthony]

I like British better. I like the British.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we're not here to do that part of this.

[Dave Anthony]

France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It sounds like when my wife goes by. But I'm worried you're gonna. I'm worried you're gonna start. I don't know. I'm gonna stop it now, to be honest. I don't.

[Mike O'Brien]

I like that it wasn't French. France.

[Dave Anthony]

It's France. France.

[Mike O'Brien]

Do France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do France. Now.

[Dave Anthony]

Why do you want him to do a Canadian French accent? I wanted it to be very right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He knows I can really get into the minutiae. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

The Quebecois marriages invalid. San Francisco Judge Beecher today rendered an important opinion in which he holds that marriages between divorced purses in the state consummated within one month after the decree of divorce has been granted are invalid and that in the eye of the law, such persons are unmarried, consummated.

[Mike O'Brien]

Like.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so that. Consummated as far as I'm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It throws me off.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because that. That test means banging. But I don't know if that's what they're talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feels. That's. I mean, that's the only one I know. But it feels like what they're saying is if you got married a month after your divorce and. No, but if you Don't.

[Dave Anthony]

That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what it's. Oh, no. They're saying, what if Dave was just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Making this whole thing up and it was just like his descent. After this, Dave tells me he's leaving. The business paper didn't even exist.

[Mike O'Brien]

No one blew up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody blew up.

[Dave Anthony]

There's no city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

They're saying if you get. Basically if you get married a second time within a month after getting divorced, then that the divorce is invalid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, then the marriage is invalid.

[Mike O'Brien]

The new one.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Right, sorry. Then they're not married.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'd be great if the divorce was invalid. Well, now you're married to the woman. You divorced again.

[Mike O'Brien]

You're back to being married.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unfortunately, you really up. Not only are you not married to her, you and your actually back together. So our law is a little different out here in the country.

[Dave Anthony]

Over 1300 California couples have been married at Reno since the enactment of the law. Oh. So now people are running to Reno to get married, which is a great place to get married. It's so beautiful.

[Mike O'Brien]

Oh, God, it's beautiful. But why is it just about the one month thing that you're. They're like, wait a little while. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

They're like, come on.

[Mike O'Brien]

I feel like I'm kind of with them on that. It's a. I mean, I wouldn't make it invalid, but it does seem odd that so many people would. It's rare to get divorced and then remarried within 30 days.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Mike, now you're taking shots at my dad and I'll be really upfront with you. That's not. Okay, okay. We're not gonna dip into that because I'll tell you what, it worked out fine for everybody. Okay.

[Mike O'Brien]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's. It's actually the best way to do it pretty quick.

[Mike O'Brien]

Pretty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Might I suggest having a baby in that first year? That works out pretty good too, by the by. Okay. Worry about a thing.

[Mike O'Brien]

Oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy.

[Dave Anthony]

I wish I. Weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boy, I wish this law was around when I was 14 years old because. Holy.

[Dave Anthony]

But that's a great age for that to happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, it's just I had no notes on that. One thing I thanked them both for was like, look, what I will say is you timed it out right and I do appreciate that this is. Right now I'm looking for something like this.

[Mike O'Brien]

Junior high is a little tough, but you guys are making it easier with this whole brand new sibling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now I have something that the people at school want to talk about, which Is cool, because this is. This feels cool. I love the energy around this.

[Dave Anthony]

Mike, do you know what a divorce colony is?

[Mike O'Brien]

Oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Sounds like it's an FX show back then. And I think it was still going. I think it was still going on at this time. You couldn't get divorced in a lot of places. So people. They were like divorce destinations where you would go. You'd have to live, like, three months, and then you could get a divorce. That was like a way for Vegas and Denver and places like that to attract people to spend money and help the economy. So this probably what's going on. And then. Because sometimes you would bring your new bride out and she just wait for you to get the divorce, and then you'd come back.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Get Cleveland married or whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As someone who finds even Love island too trashy to watch, I would watch a show about that. About the three months of waiting between couples who are done.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Divorce. Yeah. Divorce Colony would be amazing.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah. Probably really good sex, I imagine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Mike O'Brien]

They're kind of just done, but they're like. But you have to still be around each other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you would also probably find that, like, you're starting. Some of them would start to fall back in love a little bit.

[Mike O'Brien]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or at least, like, they'd be mic'd up and there'd be. You know, there'd be stuff.

[Mike O'Brien]

It'd be a good show.

[Dave Anthony]

Miked up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, miked up.

[Dave Anthony]

It would also be. It'd also be a great place to be a single dude. I don't know if that works for the show. Says, do you have a single guy in there?

[Mike O'Brien]

Maybe like a gardener, maybe?

[Dave Anthony]

I gardner. Just a guy with a horse cock. Is this what it was like in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The writer's room of AP Bio, Mike? Was it.

[Mike O'Brien]

Are you getting it? Was this. But more similes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because that's what you demanded.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, I was like, guys, I need jokes, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hard jokes. What's it like?

[Mike O'Brien]

Should be. Should be a relationship thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. Happy. That would be the greatest. The simile writers room. What's it like? Every note on a script. I like it, but it's not. You know what I mean?

[Mike O'Brien]

Slapping a chalkboard that just says, what's it like?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's it like? Come on. Related to something. I'll start it off.

[Mike O'Brien]

That's like when. Go, go, go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. Come on, you.

[Dave Anthony]

What's it like when you lick a frog?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're out of the room. We sent you home yesterday. There was a reason why. Get out.

[Dave Anthony]

There's the one guy who just keeps Pitching the same. Like licking a frog.

[Mike O'Brien]

They can't all be like licking a frog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, pitching that is like ordering the same thing at lunch every day. That guy's got it. Bingo.

[Mike O'Brien]

Bingo. Put it in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put it in.

[Dave Anthony]

Made a catch. The following dispatch from Deadwood, North Dakota, will be read with interest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Deadwood was real.

[Dave Anthony]

Who by? Many people of Kalispell who knew Coventry when he was a resident of this town several years ago. He was not particularly prosperous. The eldest daughter of Otto Grantz, the owner of the million dollar mine north of Lead, was married yesterday after Henry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Coventry, city of Lead.

[Dave Anthony]

What else are you going to call it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And how are the people of Lead doing? It seemed very ill. Quite an infirmed area. I don't know what's going on. Well, we left Lead and we went right to Mercury. We were just so sick, whatever was happening.

[Mike O'Brien]

Did you notice the. The headlines don't have nouns? They don't. They don't say, oh, yeah, they just go, yeah, made it big or whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

They're like, find out below who or where.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. It's really. It's really. They're just like. Want to know the noun? Keep reading.

[Mike O'Brien]

Pay for the newspaper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pay for the setup. Get the noun.

[Dave Anthony]

An hour before the ceremony, the groom was arrested for practicing medicine without a license.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That, by the way, that was legal. Then stop.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that was okay.

[Mike O'Brien]

You could try to fix people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, mainly what? Aren't we. Are we not in the era of where being a doctor was just sort of like being like a race car? You were just like, I do it.

[Dave Anthony]

I think that it. I think that it ended very recently. Before this. Very recently, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey.

[Mike O'Brien]

But that's how you become a race car driver. Yeah. Just say. Just say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You notice I cut myself off before I got it all out. Probably for a reason. You know, honestly, when I started thinking, I was like, you are simply just thinking of the days of thunder, and that's not the regular story. I want to be a race car driver.

[Dave Anthony]

Isn't that more comedians? You do one open mic. You're like, I'm a comedian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, you know, that's Mike. And I started. Yeah, stop.

[Mike O'Brien]

There's a woman at my dog park who's a recently retired accountant who now just is like, I'm a stand up now. And she does a lot of classes. Did you guys ever do classes growing up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not for stand up, no.

[Mike O'Brien]

And I'm always fascinated by these classes. And I'm like, what did. What did he do in class? Today, because it seems. It seems like a little bit. I was gonna say a scam, but. And I don't know if she'll listen to this, but she wants something out. It's at least practicing and having other people give feedback, I guess. But it's a little.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The. The.

[Mike O'Brien]

I don't want to ask how much.

[Dave Anthony]

There, because that would maybe make me worry about $7,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'll make you sad. It will make you sad.

[Dave Anthony]

It will. Oh, yeah. It'll be way, way more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think the only real benefit is that you're in a warm room for, like, your first 20 sets. And then when you do your first show. Show, it's like you're all putting on a play together, you know? But either way, at some point you're gonna go to an open mic and want to eat poison. And that's when you're really gonna be.

[Mike O'Brien]

Like, oh, that's the first real feedback.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That's where you're like, oh, no. Is that the dog?

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, he's growling at a person walking by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm on the dog side. 100%.

[Dave Anthony]

Interesting. Interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep an eye on whoever that is. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He does not. Does not care for it, does he?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good, good.

[Dave Anthony]

How many people has he killed?

[Mike O'Brien]

He's killed four thieves. And so this woman is about to take a left and try to jimmy my door open. She's gone.

[Dave Anthony]

You can find out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't know people were still jimmying. That's awesome.

[Mike O'Brien]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't know they were still a jimmy. That's like, I don't have it.

[Dave Anthony]

That's like licking a frog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. No more. Christ.

[Mike O'Brien]

And then you get into, like, a vicious cycle where every time he says that, the other guy has a say. And that's like ordering the same lunch every day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's like, oh, my God.

[Mike O'Brien]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Simile. Hell.

[Dave Anthony]

Doctor was stuck in a simile loop. Okay. So his bond was placed at $250, which was furnished by the father of the bride. And the wedding went on. The couple started for a year's trip through Scotland. The Duke claims connection with the Duke of Coventry of Scotland. This guy's just a liar. He says he's a doctor, he's related to a duke. Yeah. This guy's a comment. She married a con man.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So much easier.

[Dave Anthony]

So much easier.

[Mike O'Brien]

He's the music man. He's. He's got a. Yeah. He's like, the shipment of trumpets is coming tomorrow from the Duke. Is that. Is that what that plot is? He Just says they're. They're coming soon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think so.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a. If you ask me what a music. A plot is for a musical, I have no idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you loved Hamilton, though. Dave's a big Hamilton.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I loved so Great. So Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We watched Hamilton to raise money for a charity, like, three years ago, and I watched it with Dave, and it was genuine hell for him. I mean, I hated it.

[Mike O'Brien]

And I'm the only one who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you're not.

[Dave Anthony]

No, there's a lot of us.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's. It's very. You have to keep it pretty quiet. Like, speaking of a writer's room, like, the AP Bio writers room was so mad that I didn't like it. And first I just didn't like the idea of it. I was like, well, it's like rapping about, you know, presidents, and that's. That's not cool. But then they. They bought me a ticket to go as, like, the end of the year gift. And I was very. I was like, I'm gonna.

[Dave Anthony]

They were. They were sure it was gonna flip you, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

And I kind of thought so too, because anytime you see a. An actual production of anything, it's like, wow, this whole stage turned or something. And I don't think the stage turned. And they did just rap about, like, old stuff. And I. I was able to report back and be like, I was right. I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we did. Dave was so pissed because Hamilton is not the awesome figure as portrayed. Like, Dave's, like, piece of Dave's. Like, he's such a piece. He's like, Burr's great bird was great. Like, and I was. Everyone's like, buddy, shut the up. Like, it was like, we're doing the Hamilton thing. And then. And then mad. He did a three parter. I think a three parter at Hamilton. And you are. And on Burr, he was fully like, Burr was the one. And you were like, man, Hamilton sucked. It's so crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Not like one of the first guys who was like, shouldn't women have equal rights? And, like, you know, he was like that guy.

[Mike O'Brien]

I did not think you would dislike it because you thought Burr was getting the short end of the stick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's classic.

[Dave Anthony]

There are many reasons. There are many reasons I dislike it. I dislike all musicals. I can't stand them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're right. The rapping at the beginning. I watched it over the 2020 or whatever, and I. I would think I was just starved for anything because I was just getting drunk alone. I was like, this is good. And Then on the rewatch, I was like, what was I going through? To be like, yes, just.

[Mike O'Brien]

I. There is one part where I laughed out loud because it was the. That the son dies and he used to practice French, run around practicing French. And the mom scream cries, counting to 10 in. In France and says, cut ne or something.

[Dave Anthony]

And I was like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Were you alone?

[Mike O'Brien]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. That. It would be so great if you were alone. You're smoking. Is he smoking? You're like Robert Dairo in K Fear.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yes. That's smoking his cigar in the front row, counting to 10. Stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stupid. Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyway, all right.

[Dave Anthony]

Great President Sandy Ten Brooke is the proud possessor of a young alligator about 10 inches long, which he received on Monday from Florida.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course, that. I like how that still tracks. Florida.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's been going for a while. I like that. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The.

[Mike O'Brien]

The least curious part of it for me was what day she got it. It's just that she has it in Montana. Oh, she got it Monday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, imagine that to start your week off. That's crazy.

[Mike O'Brien]

I had a way different Monday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Monday. Mondays are known for being pretty boring. Not hers. Mike.

[Dave Anthony]

I think the best thing about Mike's assumption is that a woman would be a professor at this point in time. Well, Sandy has christened his alligator Senator Clark and has further carried out the idea by keeping it in a soup taurine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A soup tureen.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Like a big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We know what that is. A bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I think it's like a big bowl. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

But again, there's a lot of stuff there that we don't know what they're talking about. We don't know who Senator Clark is. So the joke is missed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think. I think the. The clear part that matters is that she got an alligator and it's he.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's a he. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And like, you're not allowed to correct me on that.

[Dave Anthony]

Quit misgendering, Sandy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no.

[Mike O'Brien]

I think that's a guy. Think about it. But I mean, that thing. Don't they need, like, lots of water? Famously.

[Dave Anthony]

And there's water in Montana. It's cold, though. I think they like warm water. I don't think they like really cold water.

[Mike O'Brien]

I don't like snow, so that's gonna be a problem. Snow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Snow. Gators. That's not a term. I've heard of snow, by the way. How awesome would that be? Let's get. Can we get that going?

[Dave Anthony]

That's. I bet it's a sci fi movie already. Like when they used to make those films.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You see, Dave, I don't mean to give you notes, but you start this paper off with those explosions and a snow gator. Hey, I'm. I'm liking what I'm hearing. All right. You're talking Hamilton numbers.

[Mike O'Brien]

They're all. They're all black and gray. I picture them black and gray, and they're, like, fast. They can go across the top. The snow that'd be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You just see eyes kind of pop out from a snowbank a little bit. You're like, oh, yeah, snow gator.

[Mike O'Brien]

I like. I like coming up with new animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

And we were laughing about in Gremlins that they're like. For the first 10 minutes of the movie, people have to keep seeing a new animal. Basically, they're like, oh, my God, what is that? It's like a new animal. By the halfway point, new people are seeing them for the first time, but they aren't surprised anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Funny people, like. Anyway. How's Gizmo? Yeah, it's pretty cool. Do you see the game?

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah. That new talking bear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so fucking funny.

[Dave Anthony]

This is why you shouldn't watch movies with writers. Oh, that's kind of stuff. That's kind of stuff. My wife would just be like, you can't talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I just. Literally, when I'm with a normie, and we call you normies, but when I'm with a normie watching a movie all the time, I'm just sitting there. I just do a lot of this. I don't think they developed that character in the right direction. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Or I do this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they clearly drop us.

[Dave Anthony]

They clearly. They clearly dropped a scene from this movie right there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You know what? I. This is what I do. Adr. I do a lot of that. That's adr. Here, I'll show you.

[Mike O'Brien]

Rewind it. Look how we can't see his mouth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can't see his mouth. See how his head's not moving to what he's saying? Adr. Who mixed this? Can we. Can you look up who mixed this? Hit pause. Does prime tell you the mixer or just the actors?

[Dave Anthony]

John Fogarty. Wow. He was. Back then. He was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's so good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. John Fogarty. A miner fell 45ft in the never Sweat mine in Butte Saturday and was instantly killed.

[Mike O'Brien]

Jesus Christ. Just a brutal.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's one of my thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Just mind deaths.

[Dave Anthony]

I feel like minds are, like, hard enough to deal with as it is, but you probably shouldn't have 45 foot holes in them.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's what they are. Isn't that the whole.

[Dave Anthony]

That's down. I believe it does sideways. Or there's an elevator that goes down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's not just a hole, I believe. Dave. I'm not. I don't know a lot, and I'm famously know very little, but I think a big part of the mine is the hole that goes down.

[Dave Anthony]

I think I've been in mines and a lot of the mines go sideways.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You went on a cave tour, you didn't go mining.

[Dave Anthony]

I've been in the Darwin Quadrangle. Don't start with me. But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Super awkward. Okay. All right, Doctor.

[Dave Anthony]

Don'T make me tell you about a gypsum mine in the Darwin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you doing? Have you just been sitting. What, sideways?

[Mike O'Brien]

All the minds in the quadrangle go sideways.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every one of them's up. You're going up. The mine ends in the sky. You're in God's country by the end. What is it? What is. What did you just say?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a place where there were a lot of minerals mined at one point in California. So there's a lot of abandoned out there. And I've been in the mines. Yeah. Guy went in there a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right. Now you're acting like you're best friends with Matthew McConaughey and you're proving it, but you're talking about going into a mine.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, I've gone. Yes, I actually, any man has gone into a mine. Good simile, man.

[Mike O'Brien]

Anyways, also, this one they named the Never Sweat Mine. I noticed, which.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Mike O'Brien]

I guess like a selling point. Yeah. To get people to start working there. And then they're immediately like, ah, no, you sweating this one. You sweating all of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Last one said no coal. Yeah, they're all coal. Spoiler.

[Mike O'Brien]

They're all coal, but no back pain mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everyone gets laid, mind. Come on down.

[Dave Anthony]

The committee of the State Board of Education appointed to investigate the trouble among the faculty at Montana State College of Bozeman, said they are unable to find anything to investigate.

[Mike O'Brien]

So there is nothing to this news story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what does that even. What? That's. That's like a fireable. That's a fireable return. Well, there's nothing to invest. You're the investigator. You don't need me on this.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, they sent him to find what all the trouble was. And they're like, yeah, there's nothing here.

[Mike O'Brien]

There's no trouble.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No trouble.

[Dave Anthony]

Why'd you send me.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, send them to the mine. People are. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. All right. Well, Anyway, that guy died.

[Dave Anthony]

Helena and Anaconda are at it again. This time, baseball is the bone of contention.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The other person's name.

[Dave Anthony]

Helena and Anaconda. It's a town. They're towns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Mike O'Brien]

And they hate.

[Dave Anthony]

There were a lot of. There were snow anacondas, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What I was picturing just now, real different.

[Mike O'Brien]

Two guys that hate each other, and every week they get together and they're like, what will be our point of contention this time?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Like, how about baseball?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, one of them's a snake in my head.

[Mike O'Brien]

Right, Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. All right. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

We're back at the first game between the two clubs. One of the Helena players abused the umpire and was ordered out of the game and off the grounds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Abused the umpire? Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Well, he was giving him for bad calls. It's like, see, Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave. Dave's kid plays a lot of baseball. You can see he's got that. Yeah, he's talking to him as you're supposed to.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no, I don't do that. It's very dumb to give the umpire shit because then he makes calls against your team. So it's dumb.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You follow him home.

[Mike O'Brien]

I heard that was a regional thing. I don't have kids. But is that true, that California, the parents don't yell at the umps and refs the way they do in the middle of the country?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. We don't. We mostly don't yell at the, um. I mean, when. At the. At the age of 12. Everybody does, because it's like. It's very animalistic at that age with the parents, but fun. But once you get past that. No, nobody really yells at the umps. Every once in a minute, you might be like, blue. Like, you might hear that once in a while. Like, what's that one? Yeah. Nobody. Blue.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Blue.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what you call the umpires, blue? Yeah. So that's not that much. I wouldn't be surprised if they did it back east more, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what Mike's getting at is we would love to come to one of these games and maybe have a couple pops and, you know, let the ref know. Ump. Is it. Whatever it is, yell at the guy who's in charge a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Did I ever tell my. Did I. Have I ever told the story of my greatest comeback ever at a drunk guy at a baseball game?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I thought it was going to be a. We were down 30 points and I was on fire. No. Okay. What's your.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a thing. There's a Thing called big league something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's.

[Dave Anthony]

And it's basically they've created these parks where their little stadium, they look like, you know, your favorite ballpark. And it's so 12 year olds and 11 year olds can go play and like replicas. But in the middle, in the middle between all the fields, they put a bar and all the. They have them all over the place and they have bars and everyone. So the parents get shit faced. And so we are at this game and this guy is plastered and it's like 100 degrees out and he keeps heckling our. One of our players. He's like, you petty waste. Like he's doing all this. You little sassy. And none of the. And we're just waiting for the parents on their side to be like, hey, Frank, you know, chill. And nobody does anything. So he yells something and I finally stood up and I went, hey, my dad used to come to games drunk too. And it was embarrassing as.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

And then all the other parents go, hey, that's not cool. And I was like, he's calling our kid and he's calling on the panty ways.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, what are you talking about? I mean, you went like clinical though. That's. That is up.

[Mike O'Brien]

You went to the heart.

[Dave Anthony]

I went where you belong. You hollow that man out quickly and you leave him for dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there's that mind talk.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah, there's that Darwin qu. Quadrangle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you Darwin quadring him. That would be like Darwin quadranting him.

[Dave Anthony]

But don't say anything about but. But they took that guy out of there immediately after that and he was gone. So it all worked out.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's tough on his son for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's one great. That's one great one Great.

[Dave Anthony]

Someone had to get hurt. So the kid was already in hell with his dad up there calling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. Anyways, I mean, it's just. You killed.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's like. I bet. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hopefully.

[Mike O'Brien]

People don't really know he's drunk though. And then.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, everybody knew. Everybody knew he's drunk.

[Mike O'Brien]

I mean, just that maybe there was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No hiding thinking that I. I will say putting a bar in the middle of that is.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a great crazy. It's one of the crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great decision. I've never, I've never thought about being a parent until I heard that. Now I'm like, yeah, I could probably pull it off.

[Dave Anthony]

It's up there with like, yeah, you can bring a gun into a bar. It's like one of those incredibly dumb. Because people are always like, parents are terrible at games. And you're like, how about booze?

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there's a.

[Mike O'Brien]

Another. I'm gonna try to go through my whole dog park group. Another dog park?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, and really slow. Play it. Don't be afraid to.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Mike, what's your dog park? Let me. Is it the Los. Los Silver Lake one? The Los Feliz one?

[Mike O'Brien]

No, I. I used to do that Silver Lake one. That big hot dirt circle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Hot dirt.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Now I do the Eagle Rock. Fake grass or field.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Mike O'Brien]

But there's a retired cop there, and he comes to a lot of my. Or comes to, like, a comedy show once a year or something, which is nice, but he always is like, they gonna have a metal detector? Can I bring my gun? And I'm like, does UCB have a metal detector? No, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. But also no. I don't know. No. Maybe.

[Mike O'Brien]

Maybe.

[Dave Anthony]

It's really the vibe Second City does.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know you can bring firearms into Second City. I'm just trying to think about ucb. The old one. I know you could. I don't know about the new one.

[Mike O'Brien]

It's always the biggest bummer. I'm backstage talking to the other comics, and I'm like, my friend's here. He's got a gun. It sucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, just. Do you do your regular stuff? Like, don't. I don't. I probably should have brought up. Don't be thrown off, but this guy definitely has a firearm. He's to the right, so don't even. Look, I'm sorry. I should have said where he's sitting.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, back to the Helena Anaconda.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Baseball thing. At the first game between the two clubs, one of the Helena players abused the umpire, was ordered out of the game and off the grounds to get even. He assaulted the umpire after the game.

[Mike O'Brien]

He'd already been abusing him, I guess, the kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, to get even with himself. No, but I see what he's saying. He's saying, like, he abused him. So to kind of make it better, he. He beat him up.

[Mike O'Brien]

He beat him up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He beat his ass because.

[Mike O'Brien]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. Now things are good.

[Mike O'Brien]

Now it's Even Steven now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now he'. Like, n. Don't do that again.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. It's fair now, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Now we're even.

[Dave Anthony]

For this. He was suspended for two weeks and fined $50. Whereas the Helena manager sulked and said they wouldn't play unless McCarthy was reinstated to the discredit of the league managers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be.

[Dave Anthony]

It said that the Helena club had its way and McCarthy was allowed to play again, pending an investigation. That's like an appeal. It's kind of like an appeal, yeah. Most Montanans would have been pleased to see President Lucas insist on McCarthy's suspension. Even at the expense of Helena's withdrawal, the loss would not have been irreparable. So they're saying I'm a little lost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because this story is pretty inside baseball.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, what they're saying is. It's like. It's like, you know, they. They started something, got a little heated, and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave. Dave, did you hear the.

[Dave Anthony]

He ended up licking the frog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Christ.

[Mike O'Brien]

Same lunch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How's the writers room on that show? It's good, but it's a lot of pressure. It's like every day I have to create a diamond in my hand. I. I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Down in St. Louis, the wives of the employees have taken a hand in the streetcar strike and are assaulting those of their own sex who patronize the street railway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so women are. Women are beating up women over the.

[Mike O'Brien]

Who are not the strike or cross.

[Dave Anthony]

You're not supposed to go. You're not supposed to go out on strike.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And.

[Dave Anthony]

And when they. I mean, when people go on strike, you're not supposed to use the. The railway like, you stay off it. So lady's gonna get beat. Lady's gonna get beat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think that quote will age great. So. But we have the clip.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, ladies, the new show the clip. Run the clip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, this. This is the clip. This is the Instagram clip. Just.

[Dave Anthony]

No, show the clip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. What? It's not that. Tonight. What the are you talking about?

[Mike O'Brien]

Now you have to go track down footage of women beating up women around 1900.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Show the clip. I think we have a clip.

[Mike O'Brien]

I think we have a clip of this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're involved with that footage. Yeah, that's what I'm here to promote.

[Mike O'Brien]

Do you want to tee up? Yeah. Do you want to tee up the clip?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, so. Yeah, so in the 1900s, a bunch of women beat up other women because there was. They were kind of crossing the strike line. So I think we have. I think that's what this is. But it was a great project to be involved in. You in there? No, no, I just. That's it. So, yeah, there you go. That's it. Oh, Dave, you're muted, which is the best part.

[Dave Anthony]

Even the school ma' ams have been warned that it will be safer for them to walk to the scene of their labors than to use the street cars. Under circumstances, it will be in order. It might have been school. Yeah. School ma'. Ams.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Either way, school ma' ams is better than moms. I don't. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Under the circumstances, it will be in order for the teachers to strike for any. An increase of salary to cover the cost of the carriage hire and life insurance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now I'm a little lost.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Strike logic.

[Mike O'Brien]

They always. Yeah, they always have something fun and cool like umpire gets beat up and then it gets into. They go wandering off.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a little inside. Strike.

[Mike O'Brien]

Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Anyone? I. I agree. That one didn't work. Well, let's just revisit the last one because I think that one really didn't. Okay. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Kalispell should feel proud of its band. There are a few musical organizations in Montana of the size and age of the local band that render such good music. There is no better advertisement for a town than. Than a good band. Unless it be a good newspaper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, off. How dare you. Key to a good newspaper, a good writer.

[Mike O'Brien]

That guy's definitely one of the guys going through a divorce. I mean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

And. And the band didn't do anything. He just likes him. I thought it was going to be they won something, but. No, no.

[Dave Anthony]

He's just saying every town should have a town band.

[Mike O'Brien]

Like, it sounds pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I actually am a little bit for bringing that back. Like having a town would be. Yeah. Just kind of like, you know, and you're like, all right. Yeah. Hey, hey. Things. It could be all right. You know, I would like that a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that how it works?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You just hear a band and you're like, hey, this town's coming along.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not so bad. That's me. Yeah. Hey, hey. It's not gonna be that bad for long.

[Mike O'Brien]

Just kind of marched on Main street playing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Although like hour two, I'd be like, these guys need to shut the up. This is ridiculous.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've heard Dixie Land over and over again. This is crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

God, that's a little harsh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Them things are not gonna be okay. Things are back to how they were before. I liked the band.

[Dave Anthony]

Buffalo for Kalispell. Mr. C.E. conrad has purchased 18 of the Allard herd of buffalo, which have been ranging for a number of years. Passed on the Flathead reservation.

[Mike O'Brien]

This is my son, ce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a good boy. He's a buffalo man like his dad. He can't hear because of a stampede.

[Mike O'Brien]

You guys did the whole movie, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Buffaloes yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

There will be four hour podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, the only. We kind of Mel Brooks did in the middle with the whole. He can't hear the herd sort of. I don't know what we were kind of going for there. We got a little.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Every time we got tired by the end when a lot of it became oil again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. The milkshake. Well, we couldn't figure the milk. Like the milkshake stuff was not working at all with the buffalo. This makes no sense. So then we kind of like. I don't. Honestly, I don't know. It's. I don't even know why we edited it. We were all kind of. It was attrition.

[Dave Anthony]

The buffalo don't seem to lose much of their wildness by the herding process. And Mr. Conrad wisely nominated the bond that the shaggy creature should be delivered. It is expected that this part of the contract will be somewhat difficult to fulfill as the buffalo will be much harder to handle than the ordinary range steer. And it will be a ticklish job to get them from where they are ranging now to the pasture.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's definitely something I'm going to start incorporating into my language. Go ahead.

[Mike O'Brien]

This could be a bit ticklish with the traffic and all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. I don't love it. Guys, this could get ticklish. What could be a bit ticklish?

[Mike O'Brien]

I think the whole evening's gonna be pretty ticklish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think next time the guy, the cop with the gun shows up to your show. Hey, things might get a little ticklish out there tonight. If there's a guy with a gun.

[Mike O'Brien]

There'S a guy packing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could be a bit ticklish. But don't. They'll be thrown off. Oh, the present ticklish.

[Dave Anthony]

The present plan of transportation is to load the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a big word for me not to cut you off, Dave. That. This is a big moment. This is. You're gonna see a new me. Ticklish. The ticklish. This is. You're gonna hear this a lot from me.

[Mike O'Brien]

It was a bit ticklish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Things could get a bit ticklish.

[Dave Anthony]

A bit ticklish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna hear me say that? I don't know. I think I get a bit ticklish.

[Mike O'Brien]

Only if you tickle us. No, no, I could just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. That's weird. That's not what this is. I'm pissed off by that and I. Stop saying that. That's not what I'm talking about. You keep doing that. Things could get a bit ticklish. I'm not happy.

[Dave Anthony]

The present plan of just showing a gun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Things could get a bit ticky. Jesus. I'm gonna go see a comedy show. Things might get a bit ticklish covered in blood. Things got pretty ticklish out there, officer.

[Mike O'Brien]

That is when things turned a little ticklish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, what? That's what. Things turned ticklish. Your honor, my client was in a ticklish mood and things turn ticklish. What are you in for? Yes, things got a bit ticklish.

[Mike O'Brien]

Let's just. Let's just leave it at got a bit ticklish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's just say things got a little ticklish on the outside. Ah.

[Mike O'Brien]

Moving.

[Dave Anthony]

Moving.

[Mike O'Brien]

Buffalo will be more ticklish than I think. That's what they said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's more significant. It's a bit tickled considering they are enormous piece getting stampeded to death, man. A bit ticklish on him, didn't it? That's why you work with horses, cows, whatever they are. I don't know. Ticklish.

[Dave Anthony]

The present plan of transportation is to load the buffalo on a barge at the foot of the lake and have the steamer tow the barge to Demersville, which will be only about five miles from their destination.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Five miles? Transporting buffalo on a steamship.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, then they're. Then they're only five miles. I think they're coming from a lot further away than five miles.

[Mike O'Brien]

So then they have five miles to walk. This is. This is. This ends with them going, what if we just killed them all instead?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was a good idea. That's way better.

[Mike O'Brien]

So they're having to move them all over the place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a way better idea because they look meat. Yeah, there.

[Mike O'Brien]

There aren't any anymore, are there? I mean, I know like it. You can. I drove through like a weird living zoo thing on stairs like a couple.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like a dead zoo. This is a bit of as you should have said that on the outside of this place.

[Mike O'Brien]

Do you see the rotten tiger?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Things got a bit ticklish. I think they're a buffalo.

[Mike O'Brien]

Just like in the wild.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think so. Not a ton. I mean, there's, you know, it's, it's. I think we're diminishing everything. But they are.

[Dave Anthony]

They are considered near threatened. There's 25.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gotta love our world. 2500 left. Near threatened.

[Dave Anthony]

There's 420, 000 in commercial herds. What the. You. Oh, so they're still killing them for food?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's for Rogan. Outside of Rogan. How many are there?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, look, they're not extinct because you can see them on Catalina island. So. Right, Come On. Come on. What do you mean they're in a mine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

There's buffalo on Catalina. Did you not know that? No, no, there are.

[Mike O'Brien]

There's some in the living zoo I drove through.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you know, life's a living zoo.

[Mike O'Brien]

There's like, three of them. And then you go through another gate and there's, like, four wolves. It's pretty cool, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where was.

[Dave Anthony]

Your whole story is a little bit ticklish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where was this?

[Mike O'Brien]

It was in between. I was driving to Michigan from la, so it was in between there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. I see this a lot driving on the road, where you'll be in Kansas and you'll be like, giraffe. Oh, God. Just be like, I don't feel good. Oh, no. They're like one giraffe. You're like four. An exit. Come see. One giraffe and a jaguar. You're like, yeah. No, they're. By the way, they're threatened.

[Dave Anthony]

The Allet herd is probably the only buffalo left in the west outside of those in the national park. The close visage of a herd of buffalo will add in no small degree to the attractiveness of Kalispell as a point of interest to visitors.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, sure.

[Mike O'Brien]

So they kind of acknowledge this is our last batch of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We gotta.

[Mike O'Brien]

We gotta get him on that boat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, there you go. That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's fun. Well, that's.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the pastimes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the pastimes. Mike, you did it. So now, Dave, you can finally tell us who won the guessing of the year. I think that'd be a good way to end it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. That was Mike.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting. All right, well, I heard the. Sir. Mike o', Brien, thank you for joining us. Business trips, your podcasts with Brad Morris, who will be on this show soon. Anything else to have people follow. When's that next? When's the next show you're doing with the armed officer? That.

[Mike O'Brien]

That would be Elysian. In, like, two weeks. So hopefully this comes out before. But in la, if people are around, check that out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where can people get tickets? A lesion website.

[Mike O'Brien]

Yeah. And. And there's a link in my Instagram bio. And. Yeah, I think. Will you say what your Instagram is, Michael? Brian. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. It is a lot of mics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're probably. You're one of the. The. Really? You have one of the funnier Instagrams. Just very quickly, Mike did sort of a, like, catalog modeling for a while, but then the best thing he would do is he would go into, like, A live feed of someone. I. I might not even be able to get through it. He'll go in a live feed of, like, DJ Khaled or something where he's like, you know, DJing Michael. Be like, all right, this is gonna be awesome. And then the next screenshot will be like, I ate a bunch of crab meat earlier today to get ready for tonight. And then the next one will be like, oh, man. Really digging this event. Stomach's a little gurgly. And then the next one will be like, oh, man, I'm in the bathroom. This is surrounded by thousands of comments. He's just having a little meltdown.

[Mike O'Brien]

You. You rolled it out perfectly. Yeah. Always some. Some. The second or third one has to mention what was eaten. And then there's one specific one that always had a shout out by the DJ to Donnie Wahlberg. And so after I'd, like, blasted my pants or whatever, I'd always say, is Donnie Wahlberg in here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was such a.

[Mike O'Brien]

Like, they were always like, michelle Obama's in here and Donnie Wahlberg. And you're like, what?

[Dave Anthony]

That doesn't.

[Mike O'Brien]

Don't announce when Donnie's in the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, these. This guy's having horrendous food poisoning. Ah, well, thank you so much, Mike. Thank you for having me.

[Mike O'Brien]

This was so much fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Come back. Please come back. Would love to.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Mike O'Brien]

Awesome. Good to see you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of these days you'll miss me, honey. Some of these days. All right, doll heads. Hope you're loving the dollop. I know I am. I don't know what episode this is. Anyway, listen, it's me, Gareth. I am on the road doing stand up comedy, which I know you all love. If you would like to see me go to GarethReynolds.com I'm gonna be everywhere. Let's party. On July 24th, I will be at the Improv in Irvine, California. On August 5th, I. I'll be in Nashville at Zany's Lexington, Kentucky, and Comedy Off Broadway on August 6th. August 7th, I'll be in Huntsville, Alabama. Then I got a couple nights over at the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga, Tennessee, August 8th through August 9th. I'll be in Atlanta, Georgia, August 10th. Then I'll be at the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins. Last year, we broke the alcohol sales record. Let's do it again. That is August 22nd through the 23rd. And then I will be in Bozeman, Montana, September 5th through September 6th. That's Bozeman, Montana. Last best comedy. Then excited for a weekend at the comedy club of Kansas City, September 26th through the 27th, I'll be in Columbia, Missouri, September 28th, I'll be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, September 30th. Come on, Milwaukee. You're my home place. I'll be at the Skyline Comedy Club, October 1st in Appleton, Wisconsin. Fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm gonna be there two shows on October 3rd, and then I will be at the den in Chicago, Illinois, on October 4th. And finally, Sunnyvale, California, November 6th through the 8th at Rooster T. Feathers. Garethreynolds.com for tickets and information. Let's go. You're part of the Gare Force. Whoops. I almost messed that up.