The Dollop Episode 142 – The Past Times with Sarah Tiana

Podcast: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Sarah Tiana
Date: September 12, 2025
Episode Theme:
A hilarious deep dive into the headlines and social quirks of September 8, 1921 from the "Dillon Herald" of South Carolina, featuring comedian Sarah Tiana. The hosts riff through bizarre news articles, Southern folklore, and the weird wisdom of yesteryear, punctuated by sharp banter and silly asides.

Episode Overview

The Past Times format features Dave, Gareth, and their guest reading through a random historical newspaper. This week, Sarah Tiana returns as "champion guest," joining the hosts in speculative sleuthing and comedic disbelief at a series of odd events chronicled in early 1920s South Carolina. Expect witty tangents about Southern culture, giant footprints, scam liquor salesmen, hard-boiled conquistadors, animal churches, DIY pest control, and more.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcoming Sarah Tiana & Getting Going

• Tatum the Dog & "Sports Bitches" Podcast ([03:00])
  • Sarah’s dog gets a gentle roast for its name.
  • The discussion pivots to podcast names, gender paradigms, and joke proposals for absurd podcasts.
• Marriage as Co-Parenting ([07:03])
  • "That's really what a good marriage is, is you're basically co-parenting each other." – Dave

2. Guessing the Year ([07:44])

• Sarah correctly guesses 1921 ("I'm hoping 1925." – Sarah)
• Dave: "You won in earnest!", Gareth launches into mock injustice.

3. Headline: "Monstrous Tracks Cause Much Concern" ([08:49])

The Legend of the Giant Footprints

• Locals discover eerily large, human-like footprints; rumors of a “giant” (or perhaps, just a very big person) visiting farmhouse for water.
• Wildly different explanations offered: monster, giant, wild man, woman ("it’s a vagiant" – Gareth, [12:02]), even Santa Claus or the devil.
  • "[S]ome say it is a gorilla which has gotten loose." ([20:57])
• Community excitement: With no TV, footprints become the event of the week, people picnic at the scene ([17:25]).
  • “Me and Frank was going to go look at a shoe print all day. Oh, boy." – Gareth
  • "Pack a picnic lunch" – Sarah

Satirical Analysis:

• Dissection of shoe size math, sarcastic theories on Southern priorities, and the rural myth-making process.
• "Others exclaim, wild man. And some say it is a gorilla which has gotten loose." – Dave ([20:51])
• "They will become the victims the longer the story." – Sarah ([12:38])
• "For the last time, a gorilla’s foot looks really different than a person’s foot." – Dave ([21:01])
• Devil at the Country Club:
  • "The devil goes to the country club." – Sarah ([18:50])
  • "We have reservations for 6 at 8pm under B. Ub, first name Beelzebub." – Gareth ([19:19])

4. Small Town Scams and Sucker Stories

The Liquor Truck Hoax ([32:12])

• During Prohibition, a salesman takes cash for a promised truckload of booze "following him" – a classic scam.
  • "So they're like, he's like awesome. There's a giant truck of booze behind me. Would you like to give me money for the booze that isn't here yet?" – Dave ([33:18])
• “Now the leading citizens are sadder, but wiser.” ([34:01])
  • "I mean, I don't know, they're pretty fucking stupid." – Gareth

Reflections on Gullibility

• “We literally used to believe anything, and now we believe [nothing].” – Sarah ([35:18])
• Discussion on the skepticism bred by modern scam attempts.

5. Church for Animals ([36:22])

• A 1921 movement in New York: a church is founded for animal rights, promising animal Bibles and Sunday services.
• Satirical "sermons" delivered for pets.
  • "Thou shalt not lick your balls while at a restaurant." – Sarah ([38:04])
  • “Thou shalt not hump thy neighbor.” – Sarah ([38:22])
• Discussion on animal ethics, humor about Southern food hypocrisy:
  • “Now who wants a burger? Cows don’t count. Yum.” – Dave ([40:31])

6. Hard-Boiled History: Snorting Hernando

Bizarre Biographical Article

• The newspaper publishes a wild, Maxim-style retelling of Hernán Cortés’ conquest, with hard-boiled American slang and heavy creative license ([41:24]–[51:00]).
  • "That Hernie Cortez is a reckless young feller. Mark my words. He'll come to no good." – Dave ([45:32])
  • "His motto used to be, 'I don't know where I’m going, and I don’t care when I get back.'" ([46:02])
• Burned Ships = Financial Preparedness?
  • "The moral is that it may be all right to burn your ships, but save the nails." ([51:12])
  • The true point: Buy war bonds! (ad disguised as a morality tale).
  • "Longest worst ad ever." – Gareth ([52:26])

7. DIY Home Pest Control

• Mr. D.V. Perry, "Automobile Painter", claims to have discovered an infallible method: dip lightbulbs in used engine oil ([54:05]).
  • "Take your electric light globes and dip them in oil... The moment the insects hit them, they drop dead." – Dave ([54:46])
• Banter about the real cause (bugs get stuck; or is it just car oil poisoning them?).
• “Did they just spray the sky with paint?” – Gareth ([57:46])
• "Honestly, I don't really hate that invention. Good idea." – Sarah ([59:24])
• Skepticism: "You two are way too on board with ... Look, did we hear about it now? Thank you." – Gareth ([59:49])

8. Southern Bugs vs. LA Life

• Sarah's reflections on moving away from Southern bug infestations for the relative comfort of L.A.
  • "I would pay 90% in taxes to never have to go back to bugs or snakes that just devour me all summer long." ([60:31])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [09:16] Dave: “Is this just the opening lyrics to Monster Mash?”
• [12:02] Gareth: “It’s a vagiant.”
• [14:06] Gareth (as evil Santa): "Rabid Saint Nick. He wants children. Blood. I need their marrow. For my elves."
• [17:39] Sarah: "They pack a picnic lunch."
• [18:50] Sarah: "Clearly the devil... when I think of the devil at the country club, what else is he going to do with all that money?"
• [35:18] Sarah: "We literally used to believe anything, and now we [don’t] believe anything."
• [38:22] Sarah: "Thou shalt not hump thy neighbor."
• [51:12] Dave: "The moral is that it may be all right to burn your ships, but save the nails."
• [52:26] Gareth: "Longest worst ad ever. The longest worst ad I've ever heard."
• [54:46] Dave/Article: "Take your electric light globes and dip them in oil... The moment the insects hit them, they drop dead."
• [56:13] Sarah: "I think it’s because when a bug lands on the oil, its wings or its feet get heavy ... and they can’t fly."
• [60:31] Sarah: "I would pay 90% in taxes to live here, to never have to go back to bugs or snakes that just, like, devour me all summer long. So I get where this guy’s coming from."
• [61:14] Sarah: "She'll be the first to text me after she listens to this in her little sewing room, as she's sewing her quilts or cat right now..."

Episode Flow & Tone

• The mood is relaxed, irreverent, and spontaneous—a blend of sharp history jokes, absurdist improvisations, and authentic Southern-flavored nostalgia courtesy of Sarah.
• Dave steers the reading/riffing, Gareth punches up with heightened reactions and wordplay, and Sarah delivers Southern context and gentle shots at the region, plus quick banter.
• Classic Dollop: rapid segues, running gags ("devil at the country club"), playful mockery of period logic, and an echoing skepticism for both 1920s naïveté and contemporary jadedness.

Recommended Highlights with Timestamps

• [08:49 – 23:25]: "Monstrous Tracks" saga: small town myth-making, shoe size math, Santa/devil jokes.
• [32:12 – 35:01]: The Liquor Truck scam story—timeless American suckers and swindlers.
• [36:22 – 40:52]: The Church for Animals—fantasy sermons and unrivaled animal theology.
• [41:24 – 51:12]: "Snorting Hernando": gonzo historical fiction about Hernán Cortés, capped with a finance PSA.
• [54:05 – 59:47]: The oily bug-zapping lightbulb revelation and ensuing invention skepticism.
• [60:31 – End]: Sarah on the South vs LA, shout-outs for her beading/crafty mom.

Takeaway for the Listener

This episode is a pure, high-protein serving of trademark Dollop: mocking the bizarre headlines and habits of past America, riffing on how little and how much has changed, and finding comedy in humanity’s eternal tendency to believe—with hope, fear, or simple boredom—in the tall tales of the day.

Check out Sarah Tiana on "Sports Bitches" and follow her online—just don’t ask when she’s next on tour, she’s waiting until her kid is older.