The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

Episode 149: The Past Times with Matt Cobos

Date: October 31, 2025
Guest: Matt Cobos

Episode Overview

In this irreverent, joke-filled episode of "The Past Times," comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds, along with guest comic Matt Cobos, riff through news stories from the Detroit Free Press, dated April 8, 1925. With their signature wit, the hosts and guest dissect absurd headlines, outdated language, and bizarre legal proceedings from a nearly century-old newspaper—finding comic gold and social commentary in the peculiarities of the past.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Guessing the Newspaper Year

• The episode opens with the trio humorously debating which year the newspaper is drawn from, resulting in playful banter and mock high stakes (“you win Gareth’s car!”).
  • [02:22] Matt: "It's gotta be a pretty goofy time period, so it's gotta be early 1900s, late 1800s, right? So I'm gonna guess...1905."
  • [02:46] Dave: "Wins 1925."
  • [02:51] Matt: "Hell yeah, I knew I was gonna win."
• The segment highlights their improvisation and willingness to go on tangents.

Newspaper Small Talk

• They poke fun at the Detroit Free Press's self-described status as "Michigan's greatest newspaper."
  • [04:28] Gareth: "Would you do you counter that?"
  • [04:33] Dave: "It sounds like, but okay, it's braggy...that's what they do."
• They riff on the semantics of “free press,” both as a newspaper name and its literal pricing.

Jazz Slayer Courtroom Incident

• The first major story focuses on “Jazz Slayer” Dorothy Ellingson, bringing out the crew’s love of wordplay and incredulity at 1920s journalism.
  • [06:09] News Excerpt: "Jazz Slayer hurls glass in courtroom."
  • [06:18] Gareth: "A hardcore jazz band."
• The group spirals into imagining “Jazz Slayer” as an actual band and continues mocking the terminology (“matricide” as “murdering mattresses”), taking aim at period-appropriate legal language.
  • [07:14] Dave (about 'matricide'): "That's when you murder a bunch of mattresses. Yeah."

Notable Quotes on 1920s Gender and Legal Standards

• [18:03] Matt: "It almost sounds like they need to call this article 'Women, am I right?'"
• [18:14] Gareth: "You'll find as we go through a lot of these papers, women are judged less on the content of their character and more on I type, lip shape and bust size."

Noteworthy Riffs on Outdated Medical Terms

The hosts break down and lampoon obscure psychiatric and medical lingo, with Dave “inventing” conditions:

• [17:21] Dave: "She has no predeterminations in the hyper...Concentration of pre...Precocis Master. Malaysia with a bit of temptransatine."
• [21:09] Gareth: "This is just like...Some guy just was like, what are they gonna do? Google it? 1925. I'm gonna go in there and chat like I'm Dr. Freaking Seuss."

Cobbler Seeks Wife’s Arrest

An absurd story emerges of a war vet and cobbler seeking legal action against his wife, who beats him with a broom and withholds his prosthetic leg.

• [22:30] Read from paper: "Harry Rotman, 42 years old, crippled and a veteran of the Russian Japanese war, Tuesday secured a warrant for the arrest of his wife, Celia, 42."
• [28:14] Gareth: "She would not allow him in his room and threw him out on this. Wife minus. Ready for this? Yeah, Minus his wooden leg and all his clothes."
• The hosts riff endlessly on the legal situation, the divorce arrangement (“room and bath privileges”), and the idea of a judge who specializes in mending marriages through enforced make-out sessions.
  • [24:11] Dave: "I sentence you to kissing each other right now for like 30 minutes."
  • [26:51] Gareth: "Come on. My decision is Human Centipede."

Bawdy Judge Bit

A running gag throughout the episode features a “weird judge” handing out surreal, sexual, or nonsensical sentences.

• [27:30] Dave: "Yeah, the bailiff's gonna touch you."
• [40:00] Matt: "Kiss him on the neck."
• [40:01] Dave: "Gently kiss his neck. And then tell him you're gonna be Valentine's..."

Alcohol Consumption and Homebrew

The group unpacks the tale of Gigi Holloway, the “world’s champion consumer of homebrew,” who attests in court to drinking 40 to 50 bottles a day.

• [31:18] Gareth (reading): "Gigi Holloway, comma, Breakman is the world's champion consumer of home brew."
• [32:34] Dave: "But again, we don’t know the percentage. It's homebrew. It could be weak as, that’s probably strong, I would imagine."
• This launches them into a discussion about gravity bongs and wild teenage drug/alcohol stories.
  • [34:00] Dave: "That's how Chumbawamba started. Tug Mu."
  • [35:27] Dave (gravity bong explanation): “You’re taking a hit so large it could knock a yeti on his ass.”

Found Nude, Not Dead

Absurd police work is on full display in a story about a man found naked except for his shoes in a stranger’s barn.

• [36:47] Gareth (reading): "…discovered a middle aged man clad only in a pair of shoes."
• [39:08] Gareth: "They drove him home…except they neglected to get the man's name and address."
• The hosts crack up at the idea of 1925 police simply dumping a nude man at a random home.

Boiled Salad Dressing

A nonsensical headline about "boiled salad dressing" brings confusion and hilarity.

• [44:20] Gareth (reading): "This headline is boiled salad dressing."
• [41:12] Dave: "Like, the editor sees this article and, like, goes, shut the door. I gotta make some big changes."
• They imagine a deranged columnist boiling everything—clothes, hands, even private parts—in the guise of new culinary trends.
  • [43:02] Gareth (as character): "I boiled my hand."
  • [43:10] Dave: "All right, babe. That’s pretty good. Is it hurting? Yes. Yeah. Well, I guess…"

Friend of Abraham Lincoln Dies

A news item about the passing of a supposed Lincoln acquaintance turns into a bit about people fabricating tenuous links to fame.

• [45:44] Dave: "What is it he shaved his mustache and the rest remained a beard. How about that."
• The group pokes fun at the obsession with minor historical celebrities and dubious claims to fame.

Fight Over Late-Night Dancing

They cover attempts to ban late-night dancing, lampooning the cyclical panic over youth culture.

• [49:21] Gareth (reading): “…amendment permitting cabarets and other dance places to continue dancing until 1:30am instead of 1:00 clock as now is the case.”
• [49:43] Dave: "It is amazing how much limiting of everyone was always trying to do. Yes. Still are. Yeah, they still are."

Divorce on Broken Promises

The hosts examine a case where a woman divorces a man who faked being rich and left her to care for his kids.

• [52:24] Dave: "My penis was burned off in a boiling incident from my previous relationship."
• They gleefully roast outlandish marital promises and the lengths people go to maintain deceptions about wealth and status.

Runaway 10-Year-Old’s Adventure

The episode closes with the surprising, successful journey of young Elmer Welland, who hitchhikes 150 miles to relatives.

• [58:37] Gareth (reading): "And he began his 150 mile journey in high hopes."
• [58:39] Matt: "All right, maybe this kid's kind of a badass."
• The group alternates between admiration and dark comedic speculation about modern consequences.
  • [59:31] Matt: "I can't believe I wasn't trafficked.”
  • [60:23] Matt: "Yeah, this kid is really cool. I think we should give him a gun."

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On “Jazz Slayer” headline:
  • [06:18] Gareth: "A hardcore jazz band."
• Mocking courtroom antics:
  • [09:15] Dave as an attorney: "Your Honor, this man is far too fat to have done anything like this. You kidding me?"
• On relationship judges:
  • [24:11] Dave: "I sentence you to kissing each other right now for like 30 minutes."
• Recurrent ‘weird judge’ sentencing trope:
  • [40:01] Dave: "Gently kiss his neck. And then tell him you’re gonna be Valentines..."
• On boiled salad dressing:
  • [41:56] Dave (as the chef): "Yeah, well, yeah, it’s burning my throat. Well, blow on it."
• Gravity bong nostalgia:
  • [35:27] Dave: “You’re taking a hit so large it could knock a yeti on his ass.”
• End-of-episode riotous hypothetical:
  • [60:23] Matt: "Yeah, this kid is really cool. I think we should give him a gun."

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:22] Guessing the newspaper year
• [06:09] Jazz Slayer hurls glass in courtroom
• [22:30] Cobbler seeks wife’s arrest / divorce drama
• [31:18] World's champion consumer of homebrew
• [36:47] Find man nude but not dead (barn story)
• [44:20] Boiled salad dressing headline
• [45:44] Friend of Lincoln dies
• [49:21] Late-night dance amendment controversy
• [52:24] Marriage on false promises (divorce case)
• [57:00] Runaway youth makes safe trip (Elmer the 10-year-old hitchhiker)

Tone and Style

The episode is consistently raucous, irreverent, and packed with improvisational riffing. The comedians do not hold back in skewering outdated social norms, poking fun at linguistic oddities, and subverting historical seriousness with present-day absurdity. Matt Cobos fits perfectly into the riff-heavy style, often egged on by Dave and Gareth’s willingness to chase the weirdest possible permutations of old news stories.

Summary

Fans of "The Dollop" will find this episode a perfect encapsulation of what makes the podcast shine: relentless comedic energy, sharp improvisation, and a talent for extracting both humor and social commentary from the dustiest corners of archived newspapers. By bouncing between real historic oddities and their own modern insights, the hosts make 1925 feel both ridiculous and relevant—reminding listeners of both how much and how little has changed.