159 - The Past Times with Kyle Anderson

Summary

The Dollop - Episode 159: The Past Times with Kyle Anderson (Jan 30, 2026)

Overview

In this episode of The Dollop’s "The Past Times," comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by guest Kyle Anderson. Together, they riff through stories from the Boston Daily Globe, dated October 7, 1904. With their trademark banter, they explore historic oddities, hilarious newspaper entries, and the perpetual weirdness of human history, all while layering in personal anecdotes and roasting each other along the way.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up, Tour Announcements, and Tummy Stamping

• Brief promos for the Dollop’s March 2026 US tour. (Skip content, see 00:00–00:46).

• Kyle recounts an odd incident: after a sweaty walk, he pressed his belly against a law firm’s window to annoy a particularly rude lawyer. Hilarity ensues as the group discusses whether this should be a new movement of "tummy stamping" against people in power (00:43–03:30).

  Kyle Anderson [01:13]: “I just lifted my shirt and pressed my stinky belly against the window.”

  Gareth Reynolds [03:23]: “There’s nothing illegal about that, so just do that more to people in power.”

• Group mock-plays what police responses to such acts would be, inventing “tummy stamper” as a future trend.

2. Podcast Imitators and Inside Jokes

• The hosts discuss how many TikTokers and podcasters are now doing "Dollop-like" shows, sometimes blatantly copying their format.

• The "doll heads" tradition is explained—fans throw doll heads on stage, and tour manager Luke goes over-the-top with collecting and displaying them, much to Dave’s horror. (03:46–06:36)

  Dave Anthony [05:40]: "It doesn’t look good... there’s too many... there’s stuff right behind our head."

  Gareth Reynolds [06:10]: "To watch Dave have to live in Luke’s head... by the end, Dave’s like 'Shut up.'"

3. Bullying for Theater and Mime Class Trauma (07:00–09:15)

• Kyle describes getting bullied for being a "theater kid." Dave recalls being bullied for miming, hilariously detailing being ganged-up on at mime class when he broke the code and spoke aloud.

  Dave Anthony [08:18]: "After like two weeks, I start talking and... at break all the mimes go to the water fountain and come over to me and they all spit (water) on me."

4. Kyle’s Documentaries: Mini Kiss Feuds & Chippendales Unionizing (09:29–12:00)

• Kyle talks about his independent documentary projects, including:

  • The feud between “Mini Kiss” and “Tiny Kiss”—two Kiss cover bands made up of little people (11:03).
  • The Chippendales Las Vegas dancers’ efforts to unionize.

• Discussion includes respectful clarification of terms around dwarfism and little people.

  Kyle Anderson [10:41]: “Mini Kiss in the mid-2000s got into a feud with another all-little person Kiss cover band called ‘Tiny Kiss’.”

5. The Newspaper: Boston Daily Globe, October 7, 1904

• Guess the Year—Kyle guesses 1999, Gareth 1899, answer is 1904 (12:52–13:06).
• Stories are read and riffed upon:

a. The Hat Rescue — Jumping from a Bridge for a Hat (13:44–19:00)

• Otis Lampert jumps 30 feet from a bridge to rescue his hat that blew off.

• Extended banter on historical hat culture: hat riots and fashion faux pas.

• Amusing talk of head sizes, "pumpkin head" as a diagnosis, and the woes of finding hats for large craniums.

  Dave Anthony [14:04]: "Our relationship as a nation with hats is insane. Absurd." Kyle Anderson [16:34]: "This dude is going into the drink for his hat."

b. Arrest for Shooting Craps & Singing in the Jail Cell (22:07–26:00)

• Three Chelsea boys (ages 15–17) are arrested for gambling (shooting craps) in a barn but take it in stride, entertaining the jail by singing popular songs.

  Dave Anthony [24:36]: "…for two hours enlivened the cell room by singing the popular songs of the day." Gareth Reynolds [25:10]: "Back then, you were just like, we’re just gonna sing."

c. Poisoned by Canned Sardines (29:01–32:10)

• Officer Bussy collapses from ptomaine (food) poisoning after eating canned sardines.

• Discussion about risky canning practices, disgusting diarrhea, and the ickiness of 1904 food safety.

• Quick riff about “libs want you to eat bugs,” joking how even historical concerns can be twisted into modern conspiracy.

  Gareth Reynolds [31:54]: "1904 diarrhea must have been terrible from sardines."

d. The Puritan Sabbath: Arresting Milkmen (32:43–36:47)

• Lexington, Kentucky: all non-essential businesses close on Sunday, but police still arrest 11 milkmen for violating sabbath laws.

• Jokes about the hardship of going without milk, the ironies of enforcing blue laws, and funny job titles like "proprietor of a creamery."

  Gareth Reynolds [33:54]: "So many better ways to sin than milk." Kyle Anderson [34:33]: "A proprietor of a creamery—that’s a great name for a job."

e. Father-Son Duel Over Crops (37:49–40:50)

• A Texas farmer, Watson, is shot dead in a pistol duel with his teenage son over dividing crops. Discussion about the tragic and absurd nature of family duels.

  Gareth Reynolds [38:02]: "That is crazy, to duel your kid." Kyle Anderson [39:55]: "Might be the thing where the dad was kinda like, ‘Oh, my boy got me. I’m so proud.’"

f. Widow Marries 19-Year-Old Boarder (41:04–47:36)

• Ms. Agnes Raymond, 44, marries her 19-year-old boarding house resident, John Tatro, with his father’s consent.

• Extended, raunchy riffing on age gaps, sexual peaks, old-timey matchmaking, and the social scandal.

  Dave Anthony [41:36]: "The widow confessed to being 44... her husband gave his age at 19. Whoa." Gareth Reynolds [42:18]: "I want your boy’s penis. I’m going to suck your son’s—"

g. Moses Shoots Himself in the Head (50:01–61:54)

• Moses Ballerstein accidentally shoots himself in the forehead, walks a mile home, has his wound probed, leaks “matter” for days, and eventually recovers (somewhat) after coke is used as a stimulant.

• The team imagines horrible 1904 medicine, keeping the wound open (“put a cork in it”), and riffs about accidental relapses and analogies to medical TV.

  Dave Anthony [51:24]: "…he walked unassisted to his house a mile distant." Gareth Reynolds [57:10]: "They’re going to fill your little head dish with some milk here and let a cat suck it out in the hopes that the sandpaper tongue hits the bullet."

6. Meta Commentary on Podcasting & Listeners (53:35–56:19)

• Gareth reads a bizarre, angry fan comment about The Dollop not covering the Epstein/Trump scandals enough.

• Hosts joke about online outrage, listener complaints of "too much ranting," and how people get stuck on the format of the show.

  Gareth Reynolds [54:12]: "People are like, you’re not talking enough about— and we’re like, we’re talking a ton… it’s endless." Dave Anthony [54:49]: "Seriously, getting mad at people talking at the end of something is so amazing."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kyle Anderson, on “tummy stamping” lawyers (01:13): “I just lifted my shirt and pressed my stinky belly against the window.”
• Dave Anthony, on mime class vengeance (08:18): “All the mimes go to the water fountain and come over to me and they all spit (water) on me.”
• Gareth Reynolds, on hat obsession (14:04): “Our relationship as a nation with hats is insane. Absurd.”
• Dave Anthony, on family duels (38:02): “That is crazy, to duel your kid.”
• Kyle Anderson, widow and the 19-year-old boarder (41:36): “The widow confessed to being 44... her husband gave his age at 19. Whoa.”
• Gareth Reynolds, riffing on old medicine (57:10): “They’re going to fill your little head dish with some milk here and let a cat suck it out in the hopes that the sandpaper tongue hits the bullet.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:43–03:23 – Kyle’s tummy-stamping story
• 03:46–06:36 – Doll heads, tour shenanigans
• 07:00–09:15 – Bullying for mime and theater
• 09:29–12:00 – Kyle’s documentaries: Mini Kiss, Chippendales
• 13:44–19:00 – Hat rescue from bridge & “hat culture”
• 22:07–26:00 – Arrested boys singing in jail
• 29:01–32:10 – Food poisoning by sardines, gross-outs
• 32:43–36:47 – “Puritan Sabbath” and milkmen arrests
• 37:49–40:50 – Father-son duel over crops
• 41:04–47:36 – Widow marries 19-year-old boarder
• 50:01–61:54 – Moses shoots himself, old-timey medical horrors
• 53:35–56:19 – Online outrage, meta podcasting commentary

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Closing & Patreon Pitch

• Quick wrap with Patreon ideas (doing a segment of un-discussed news clippings) (62:05–62:34).
• Kyle plugs his documentary work—Breaking Stories on YouTube, “The Chris D’Elia Problem.”
• Final tangent about Chris D’Elia, Saudi Arabia invites, and a pitch for the Dollop's animated episodes via Lakeside Animation.

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Episode Tone

• Fast-paced, irreverent, and freewheeling.
• Constant in-jokes, friendly ribbing, and absurdist riffs.
• Plenty of dark comedy, body humor, and historical ridicule.
• Conversational but occasionally outrageous; adult language and humor throughout.

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Summary prepared for those who want the gist and the laughs of this episode without needing to listen!

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

The Dollop will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22. Then on the 23rd, we'll be in Syracuse. Then on March 24, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport. And 26, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, we'll be in Philadelphia. And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C. at the Lincoln. The. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com tour for tickets.

[Kyle Anderson]

Can I. Can I tell you something I did the other day that's so unhinged?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Kyle Anderson]

I was on a long walk, and I was like. I was. I was trying to really get. Get my heart. Heart rate up. So I got all sweaty. And there was this, like, law firm a couple blocks from my house, and they have, like, a big glass window next to the street. And there's always this douchebag guy, this, like, lawyer D there, and he was, like, yelling at one of his, like, like, underlings in the office. And I was just walking by, and I just lifted my shirt and just pressed my stinky belly against the window.

[Dave Anthony]

I kept walking. Oh, that's so good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's. We should probably keep that in while we start. All right. Welcome to the Pastimes. It's a podcast. Someone had to do it. We did it. You know, we do here each week, we go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dan Anthony. I. Garen Reynolds had never seen it. And neither is this week's guest, the great Kyle Anderson. Hi, Kai.

[Kyle Anderson]

Amazing. Stoked to be back, you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, buddy.

[Dave Anthony]

Of course. A big part of the Rogan sphere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kyle's huge in the road.

[Kyle Anderson]

You catch me opening for my girl Roseanne.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what you should do, mother? You should just change the S in on your Roseanne shirt shirt to a G. And it's Rogan.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's up, Kyle? Thanks for coming back.

[Kyle Anderson]

I'm stoked. I realized that this. You guys basically react to, like, tick tocks from history. Like. Like literary tick tocks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there's people on Tick tock who basically do this. Like, everybody's like, oh, yeah, there's people. Like, you ever heard about the milk riot?

[Kyle Anderson]

Let's start some Beef.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even know. There are. There are some guys who literally are doing our show.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there's a bunch of our shows.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But there's two guys who are literally now. We were like, whoa. That is literally. Yeah, the exact.

[Kyle Anderson]

Just. They just download the transcript and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would be better. I know Marsh would be better. They. They really. They just. It's like, there's so many versions of this show, and, you know, it's like, whatever. I mean, you know, but. But there. When someone is actually just doing the show, you're like, I mean, that's not. That's the show again. I mean, what are we going to do? Podcast to you? But that's the show.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah, that kicks ass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's up, Kyle? What's new? What do you want to. What can we. Where can people go find you? What are you doing? What's. What's your passion? You're not just going to law firms pressing your tummy on the windows.

[Kyle Anderson]

No, that. I mean, that idea. Love of the game.

[Dave Anthony]

I hope that becomes a fad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That really should be.

[Kyle Anderson]

That's. I mean, I don't think there's anything illegal against doing that. So just do that more to people in power.

[Dave Anthony]

What could possibly be. The cop would. A cop would. If a cop got called, he'd be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like.

[Kyle Anderson]

Okay, it's funny, but we got another tummy stamper.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't.

[Kyle Anderson]

It just.

[Dave Anthony]

They'd be like, it's not illegal, but can you not do that?

[Kyle Anderson]

They paint bowls. They have like a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like an inflatable thing and it comes down. But also, now I get it.

[Dave Anthony]

And also, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you just missed something fantastic. So I. I can. I. Our fans call themselves the Doll Heads, and Dave and I love it. They throw them on the stage at shows now. We always leave them behind. We're kind of right. Well, you know, the event happened. There we go.

[Kyle Anderson]

Menus love it, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Menus love it. I gotta tell you, I got charged 250 for spilling my wine in Minneapolis on the stage.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. They do that at places. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, our agent called. She was like, so who spilled? I was like, I spilled wine. She's like, yeah. So it's like, $250. Like, what? But anyway, theater. Luke. Luke.

[Kyle Anderson]

Guys suck all the wine out of the wood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would have sucked it out.

[Dave Anthony]

Theaters will find any way to take money from you. It' crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They really are like. They're like, there's the podcasting fee.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you use your eyes? Yeah. That's 200.

[Kyle Anderson]

I was beat up in high school for being a theater kid. That's a fee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Luke. Luke gathers the doll heads.

[Kyle Anderson]

Oh, boy.

[Dave Anthony]

Of course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course.

[Kyle Anderson]

And all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so by the end of the tour, we're all like. We're not even like humans by the end, but we're like the tour.

[Kyle Anderson]

Luke has a. A big satchel of doll heads. Like he's a evil Norse version.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He hung them all from the ceiling. So he's like, film your reaction and film Dave's reaction. So I walked in and I was like, oh, sweet God. You know, I locked the door to have a heads up on what Davis. Dave. Dave just ripped down like nine doll heads without even saying anything to me. He was furious. I mean, we have.

[Kyle Anderson]

By the way, by the way, I love that. You guys are like, our neighbor's crazy. Meanwhile, you're in a cave of infant heads.

[Dave Anthony]

I was, I was watching the video a couple days ago and I was like, it doesn't look good because it's too cluttered. Like there's too many. Because it's not so much. It's that there's stuff right behind our head, which is where you don't want stuff like Garrett. Gareth.

[Kyle Anderson]

Gareth batting at them like he's a cat.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but so I walk in with my mind of like, I gotta remember to remove the clutter. So there's not. And then I walk in and there's always doll heads hanging from the ceiling. And my first thought is like, who's wasting their time doing that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's also Luke. Luke and, and. And he. It's. It's what's great about going on tour with Luke and Dave is, first of all, it can be quite difficult to live in Luke's head, which is how you. You. That's the only option. But to watch Dave have to live in Luke's head. It's crazy because by the end, Dave's like, shut up. For the whole day.

[Dave Anthony]

I did. I didn't give an talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Luke pretty much listened. And then as he was in that order, he almost drove off with the gas pump in the tank of the van. Anyway, Kyle, where can you shut down communication?

[Kyle Anderson]

Some stuff's gonna go bad. Luke is like, nobody emailed me about the gas pump.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, did you. I mean, sorry, Kyle. Did you really get beat up for being a drama kid? And I want that to be true. You said.

[Kyle Anderson]

I mean, I mean, I. I definitely got bullied for being a theater kid.

[Dave Anthony]

You did. I don't know if it ever.

[Kyle Anderson]

Oh, my God. What just happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the splinter from the doll head jammed into the roof really went into my thumb hard.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, see, everybody wins. Is that real? That's real. Oh my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at what he's tacked it up with.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like a. Nah, it's like a nail.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like a nail needle.

[Dave Anthony]

The nail needle. I was bullied for miming. Bad miming for miming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's hard to ask him to stop.

[Dave Anthony]

When I was in I think six even.

[Kyle Anderson]

Even like the kids doing magic are like, let's go bully the mime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, I was kicked the snot out of that mime.

[Dave Anthony]

I was in fifth grade and that school was like. Or my teacher, whoever did this program, they're like, so we have this, this special thing for kids who are gifted and. And we think you're very talented.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so by the way, this code. Dave, shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Totally. 100%. And she's like. And this is where it's really hilarious because she's like. So there's a. They're putting together a bunch of kids like this and there's going to be a mime class and you can learn how to do that. And I was like, whatever, get me out of school. And so it's at the local community college and I go there and it's all these just dorks and I'm just like, what the good lord. Look at what I'm stuck in here.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And I hate it, you know, and so after like. And it's like eight week course and so after like two weeks I just start, I start talking and I'm like, wall, wall, wall. And they're like, hey dude, don't. And I'm like catching the ball, catching the ball. And they're all getting mad. So at a break, all of the mimes. And now this is a day everyone has my makeup on and all the mimes go to the water fountain and put water in their mouths and come over to me and they all spit. Months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah. What in the.

[Dave Anthony]

I've.

[Kyle Anderson]

Never mind. To be cocky.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the mime cocky.

[Kyle Anderson]

That's crazy that they were like. That they were able to like look at each other and non verbally be.

[Dave Anthony]

Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bad mime feels very much like it should have a new life online.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah, you should bring back mime, Dave.

[Dave Anthony]

That's amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's why Dave's like, I will never be silenced again. Just on Twitter. Just like, yeah, right, of course. Kyle, what are you working on? Where can people find it?

[Kyle Anderson]

And where I am working on a bunch of independent documentaries. I'VE been making really, really fun because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We promoted before the crystalia problem on YouTube, which you made, which is fantastic.

[Dave Anthony]

And you're doing, you're doing a lot of, about your big Rogan sphere guy.

[Kyle Anderson]

So I'm always doing, like, why Tony Hinchcliffe rules, why David Lucas is actually really good at comedy and funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Anderson]

No, I, I, I've been doing some really fun ones. We, we just hung out for a couple days with Mini Kiss, which is an All Kiss dwarf cover band. Sure, sure. And what's really interesting is that I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Think dwarfs the term, to be quite honest with you.

[Kyle Anderson]

Huh? Little person dwarf. Yeah, yeah. Dwarfism. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You sure?

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah. Well, I hung out with him, buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know friends.

[Dave Anthony]

Did they say. And do they say that's an okay.

[Kyle Anderson]

Term they use dwarfism?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they do use dwarf.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah, yeah. That's the. There's 200 types of dwarfism. And so they have different types now.

[Dave Anthony]

Are they like, tiny?

[Kyle Anderson]

Huh? Yeah. Well, they could go by Mini Kiss.

[Dave Anthony]

Look on his face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Definitely shouldn't be talking about this.

[Kyle Anderson]

What's really interesting, though, is that Minikiss in the mid-2000s got into a feud with, with another all little person Kiss cover band called Tiny Kiss.

[Dave Anthony]

Ooh, sure. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why not just start a band called Peck?

[Dave Anthony]

Because smooch one of the. Because who was first, Tiny or Mini Kiss? So I would be pissed.

[Kyle Anderson]

Tiny Kiss left and form Tiny Kiss.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Oh. It was one of those. It was like a Wilco situation.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Kyle Anderson]

Very much actually. There was actually a very Wilco. There was a, there was a, a brawl that built up backstage at a show because they were able to sneak backstage by being like, hey, we're. We're Tiny Kiss.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. You could totally do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You don't be like, no, you're not.

[Kyle Anderson]

The guy didn't check their id.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Come on. You got a bunch of Kiss gear. Your little.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, little kisses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, guys, let's go.

[Kyle Anderson]

But so we just did a, we did a doc hanging out with them. It was awesome. We did another doc where we went. And the Chippendales dancers in Vegas been trying to unionize. So we did a doc about their unionization efforts.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Kyle Anderson]

So you can check those out. You can find them on YouTube if you search up Breaking Stories with Kyle and Zio. I do them with my producer.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great work.

[Dave Anthony]

I knew a guy in New York who was doing a doc of a cover band. I can't remember what the, the band was covering, which band they were covering, but he was filming for like six months. And then one day the lead singer called him up and he goes. Or he was supposed to go to lead singer's house, and he goes over there. And the guy is like, he won't let the doc guy in. He's like, I blacked out. I don't remember where I've been for two days. And I woke up and my apartment's covered in blood. I don't know whose blood it is. And he would let him in, and then the filming was over. Then the band wouldn't let him film anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus. Make a doc about the doc.

[Kyle Anderson]

I was gonna say if that started autoplaying on Netflix.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Kyle, you're gonna guess what year this newspaper's from. I'm gonna do the same. Dave will pick you. He's definitely likes you. It's the show.

[Kyle Anderson]

Greatest year in cinema. 1999.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no way. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

1899, Kyle is correct because it is the 1900s. 1904. October 7th.

[Kyle Anderson]

On the money, baby.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Congratulations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was under and closer.

[Dave Anthony]

He gets a new car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For what?

[Dave Anthony]

That's what. This one? That was. That's what was on the line for this one. What the. Yeah. Rolls Royce.

[Kyle Anderson]

From England can't win. Everyone in America's favorite game show. Oh, my God. I would play that.

[Dave Anthony]

It's awesome.

[Kyle Anderson]

I'll take hammer for 300, Alex.

[Dave Anthony]

It is the Boston Daily Globe, October 7, 1904.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Wanted his hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Classic. I mean, relatable.

[Dave Anthony]

I get this in his bag.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you know the hat culture, Kyle? Like, this, the country, our relationship as a nation with hats is insane. Absurd.

[Dave Anthony]

It's insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, if you used to not wear a hat, people would be like, get the out of here. Like.

[Dave Anthony]

Or if.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you wear a straw hat at the wrong time.

[Dave Anthony]

There were. There were riots. Because if you wore a straw hat after Labor Day, it was a faux pas. And so people would smash your hat. Or then people got mad they couldn't wear their hat.

[Kyle Anderson]

I'm a large headman, right? So I'm. I'm. Usually I'm a rock at a pretty. Pretty massive dome. And we call that don't work medically.

[Dave Anthony]

That's called a pumpkin head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got a doll head.

[Kyle Anderson]

You'Re a jack o' lantern.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got your results back. You are pumpkin headed. Start a cover band. Head Zeppelin.

[Dave Anthony]

You know the bad thing about having a larger cranium, which I have also, is that you order hat. You can't. You used to be able to buy a hat in a store you'd put it on and be like, that fits. And you order hats online and it's like, oh, thank you.

[Kyle Anderson]

It's a.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a nightmare.

[Kyle Anderson]

It's a goddamn knife fight. Trying to.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I think it's okay. Well, you got a little tiny guy head. You got like a little whale's head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tiny whale head.

[Dave Anthony]

Whales.

[Kyle Anderson]

I misunderstood that too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Same. I was like, the tails are tiny, Their heads are big.

[Dave Anthony]

All the people. Everybody knows people from Wales have tiny little heads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been trying to do my Welsh accent with my mother and she's. She's like, please stop.

[Kyle Anderson]

What is your Welsh accent?

[Dave Anthony]

Let's hear it.

[Kyle Anderson]

Let's hear it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very hard. You've got to be. It's like the hardest. It's the Venn diagram of all of them going into. Bit more like that because you have.

[Kyle Anderson]

To like breathe out every word.

[Dave Anthony]

But there's. There. You sounded like Eastern Blockish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

It goes into like a Swedishy Bulgarian thing. It's hard, huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I go Irish.

[Dave Anthony]

What if I just nailed the Welsh one and that's all I won't happen. You never know. What? That's all I focus on. The problem is is that all your other accents are bleeding images. I don't do any accents. I could nail it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just read the article.

[Dave Anthony]

Go ahead and read the story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you got it.

[Kyle Anderson]

1984.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

So Otis Lambert. It says. So the. It's a second headline. It starts, okay, so Otis Lampert jumps into the river, rescued by men in a boat with only a ducking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, we didn't even read the first article.

[Dave Anthony]

Wanted his hat. That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that is. Ok.

[Kyle Anderson]

This dude is going into the drink for his hat.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Fuck yeah.

[Kyle Anderson]

So this is, this is like a relatable story of like, fellas, we all been there, we all get in the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way and you guys, this is like a Lids commercial.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah. This is probably paid for by Big Hat Lids. This is paid.

[Dave Anthony]

This is Big Head. Yeah. Pedestrians on Bradford Bridge.

[Kyle Anderson]

This for my head. That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

Big old hat. You know, there's a, there's a. There's a company now that just makes big hats. Baseball hats. Yeah.

[Kyle Anderson]

I gotta go. Do you think I'd be here if I knew that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Doesn't make any sense. You'd miss the podcast.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't know what it's like, you little tiny headed Welsh regular headed man. No, you're not. You got like a little classic Welsh.

[Kyle Anderson]

Pinhead you could share hats with all the doll.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not Allowed to say pinhead. You're not allowed to say dwarves.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't say pinhead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, his.

[Dave Anthony]

Pinhead. Was that actually a thing? That's like a disease. I thought it was just a cartoon. That was a cartoon, though. Pinhead. Yeah, that was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were all cartoons back when we had animation cooking.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, pinhead is an actual, like, thing that they make fun of some medical condition?

[Kyle Anderson]

Look.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, the doctor. It's just like pumpkin head. The doctor's not like.

[Dave Anthony]

Pumpkin head is an actual medical term.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Has pinhead. What? No, it's like a disease. There's a thing like the.

[Kyle Anderson]

I do like the idea of like. Well, if an old cartoon did it, it can't be racist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, I saw the cartoon. One of cartoons. Ever done anything bad? That's like the line. That's the dumbo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Civil rights back a hundred years. There we go.

[Kyle Anderson]

Perfect.

[Dave Anthony]

Pedestrians on Bradford Bridge this afternoon were startled to see a man suddenly vault the railing and leap into the river 30ft below. That's pretty far. That's a jump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huge hat.

[Kyle Anderson]

Not 30ft.

[Dave Anthony]

That's.

[Kyle Anderson]

And they go. They go. And it wasn't even one of the people just jumping in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cuz they were really depressed about not a personal offing. That's bas leap.

[Kyle Anderson]

They go.

[Dave Anthony]

That guy looks happy.

[Kyle Anderson]

What the hell?

[Dave Anthony]

What the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's his hat.

[Kyle Anderson]

Oh, he's got a hat.

[Dave Anthony]

A boat was quickly put out from the shore, and the man who had managed to keep his head above water after his first plunge was taken in. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lifeboat had to come out and rescue him from rescuing his own.

[Kyle Anderson]

It almost feels like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did it have cost?

[Kyle Anderson]

It feels like. Yeah, I was gonna say it feels like turning on the boat's more expensive than the hat at this point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What does a hat cost?

[Dave Anthony]

But they didn't have. So this sense. This is before mass production of, like, clothing and stuff. So. So when you got something, you kept it. Like it wasn't like. Like your clothing was far more important back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not like now, when I just get Luke's stuff.

[Kyle Anderson]

Stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He is Otis Lambert. He said his hat had been blown off and he had jumped over to get it. He was none the worse for his experience. Save the ducking.

[Kyle Anderson]

I think that's ducking.

[Dave Anthony]

I think that's getting wet. You know, a duck goes underwater, I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Does that make sense?

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah. We left some words where they should be.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, right. Yeah. I don't agree. This is a word that people kept going. What are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I don't agree.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't think so. No, I don't agree. Okay.

[Kyle Anderson]

The Welsh love ducking.

[Dave Anthony]

What's that now? Why. Why are you doing that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, we did a bit of talking the other day.

[Dave Anthony]

Now you sound like your mom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, my. My mother. If you ask my mother to do a Welsh accent, she's like, oh, she like, puts her hand on a table. She's like. It's very difficult. We don't do that to not family anymore.

[Kyle Anderson]

Having a nosebleed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Shaking and bleeding. Okay, stop. Don't do it anymore.

[Kyle Anderson]

Just to walk into the big room from X Men and put on the helmet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't understand the reference, but I love you for it.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah, I know.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, have you never seen X Men?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I seen like two of them on a plane. I'm good.

[Kyle Anderson]

You watched.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, then you should know what the big room. You should know what the big room is.

[Kyle Anderson]

You like them so much you walked them back to back on a plane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You heard what you wanted to hear, Kyle, not what I said.

[Kyle Anderson]

You watched 2x Men movies on a plane. You either independently decide to watch them. Okay, so you like them so much you watch them across multiple flights.

[Dave Anthony]

Kyle is correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, Kyle. Yes. Over. Over two different flights. Movies got watched.

[Kyle Anderson]

Superhero movie he likes are by Brian Singer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even like him. Yeah, he likes Brian Singer. You've seen every one of these movies, weirdo.

[Dave Anthony]

I've seen a lot. Well, they. They. They're on like their fourth, so I checked out a long time ago. But the first, the first ones I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Watched, like, Kyle like shows up, he's like. Well, I bought Wolverine claws. It's pretty easy to get it by.

[Kyle Anderson]

The ones that are real metal, though. Because if you buy the ones that are plastic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop talking.

[Kyle Anderson]

Really?

[Dave Anthony]

You really want to be able to sink into a belly?

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah, well, you want to be able.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That lawyer should get him.

[Kyle Anderson]

He goes through the glass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how they paint balls. What did he say?

[Dave Anthony]

Sang in their cells. Three Chelsea boys arrested for shooting craps Beguile the hours with popular airs. This guy who went to jail for crap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, yeah, he's definitely like, enjoy words.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, whoever's writing these headlines can go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He literally was like, in the future they'll be very confused.

[Kyle Anderson]

Hi, Jonathan Tapp with the Daily Beguiler. Yeah, can I get a quote?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why? You may as well.

[Dave Anthony]

Frank Hastings, age 17, Joseph Davis, 15, and Lewis Archer, 16, all residing in the Prattville section of Chelsea, were arrested by a patrolman, Patrolman Gaynor, and doing last night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Dave Anthony]

Charged?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'M doing. And I'm gaynored.

[Dave Anthony]

Charged with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a gay nerd and I'm doing.

[Kyle Anderson]

I was gonna say I didn't know they could just call the cop by two descriptors.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, Gay nerd.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey. Doing gay nerd and gay nerd.

[Kyle Anderson]

It's Officer Gay Nerd.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Officer Gay Nerd. Now, what's going on over here? You guys talking about X Men? I love that stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, if I. If I. If it was today and I had a kid, a boy, I'd be like, we should probably change our last name today. Yeah. Because they would just get so bullied.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So bullied.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or he just make his first name not at all. Show them who's boss.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, because kids could take any name and turn it into. I always go back to Miles, this kid in our. In our. In our elementary school's name, Miles. And we called him Miles and Miles of deep brown piles. Like, you cannot win.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? Fifth grade, a new kid came to town. And I've. I've talked to this guy since, and we're all good. He's a very nice guy. But his last name was Seaman. I mean, I woke up in the nurse's office. They were like, you passed out. Are you okay? I'm like, is that. I had a dream there's a kid named Seaman. And they're like, there is. And I was like, andy, come here. Come here. Semen. He'd be like, stop calling me Semen.

[Dave Anthony]

I met a guy, his last name was Simon. And it was like, we were, like, in our 30s. And I was like, how was that? And he goes, it was so bad. It was so bad.

[Kyle Anderson]

When I was in high school, I had an assistant principal who was named Mr. Weiner. We were all used to it because we had been desensitized to it from years of it. But my little brother came to an assembly with me, and they just kept introducing and saying all the great work Mr. Wiener did. And they said his name, like, seven times. My little brother is just falling apart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best. The best.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, so we're arrested by Patrolman Gaynor Gaynord and doing last night charged with shooting craps in a barn on Sagamore Avenue. After being brought to the police station and booked, the boys took their arrest in a most unconcerned way. And for two hours enlivened the cell room by singing the popular songs of the day. I mean, what's gonna happen to you if you get busted or craps? Nothing. You'll Get a fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So it doesn't matter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, but it's great. I mean, that is it. That's what I was saying. The not to keep bringing up Luke. The only person I know who whistles is Luke. I'm like, whistling died.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it totally died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But back then, you were just like, we're gonna just sing.

[Dave Anthony]

We had a guy sing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sing.

[Dave Anthony]

We had our wood shop teacher in high school used to whistle all the time. We were just like, what the. Catch him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll catch him whistling. I'll be like, we've moved on. No.

[Dave Anthony]

I live in a cartoon from the 20s.

[Kyle Anderson]

I also love the idea that these two guys got locked up and they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Were like, damn, Joe, we got locked up.

[Kyle Anderson]

And he's like, don't worry, Ricky. I know how we're gonna get out of this boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The days will never pass. The days will never pass. She's a la that I love, you know.

[Kyle Anderson]

Never seen.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, brother. Where Art Thou?

[Kyle Anderson]

We're gonna hit him with one of Ms. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Collab.

[Kyle Anderson]

I haven't seen it. It's not by Brian Singer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Weird.

[Dave Anthony]

To be fair, you should have said planes instead. I, I. You said I saw it on a plane. So he was right. Seemed like you watch it too.

[Kyle Anderson]

On the same movies. On a plane.

[Dave Anthony]

You said planes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I watched it on a plane.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I watched it on. I watched two on planes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, how's that come out? Nice.

[Dave Anthony]

That was better than it. Because it confused that guy, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I watched the. I watched it on two planes.

[Dave Anthony]

No, come on.

[Kyle Anderson]

Now you're being pedantic and weird movies across two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I watched over a course of plagues.

[Dave Anthony]

The only time I've seen X Men. The only time I've seen X Men movies is a couple on planes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just unfortunately not how I talk. So apologies. Not how I'm going to do it. I had a couple of them on. On other planes.

[Dave Anthony]

Now I know why so many people are confused watching your stand up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because it is on the plane. My special on the planes. And some in flight entertainment.

[Kyle Anderson]

Gareth being being questioned by a detective like for murder.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was on multiple planes.

[Kyle Anderson]

It was on one plane or multiple to make.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's on two planes.

[Dave Anthony]

Two plate. Because you said plane the first time.

[Kyle Anderson]

Time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't understand. I didn't even know he was a cop. I'm playing closed.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your planes closed.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, kid, come clean. Was it plains or plane?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. There are certain words.

[Dave Anthony]

You're a liar, kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Plural.

[Kyle Anderson]

Even plane is not a plane.

[Dave Anthony]

And plane. Plane is not a plural. For planes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Watched it on a plane. There could be more than.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you, like, trying to compare planes and geese? Like, what are you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, I watched it on a plane.

[Dave Anthony]

Plane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've taken a thousand flights, by the way.

[Kyle Anderson]

This is my favorite part of ganging up on a friend with somebody is when you get them to be like, oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe playing is plural for planes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake. Jake has one where he was shellacking me over the packers losing. And I go, I was arguing. Like, it's still good to watch your team play further. And he's like, you win the super bowl or nothing? I go, the point is to go far. And it's like, he murders me with it all the time. Like, I. You're right. I shouldn't have said that.

[Dave Anthony]

The point is to go far.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was a text, too.

[Dave Anthony]

It's better to. It's better to have your team not make the playoffs than make it to the super bowl and lose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's arguing every season's a failure if you don't go to the Super Bowl.

[Dave Anthony]

So how many years has he been watching his failure team?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's the other thing. It's like, sometimes he'll be like, winning. I'm like, how is he beating me in a fucking argument? They are the worst.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, they were the worst.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now they're the best.

[Dave Anthony]

Now they're pretty good. All right. Collapsed on a car. Patrolman G.W. bussy of East Boston. Poison. Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're really hitting us with these terms. My name's G.W.

[Dave Anthony]

Bussy.

[Kyle Anderson]

I'm the bus mascot. That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

That's him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Of East Boston. Poisoned by eating canned sardines. Condition. That serious Poison sardines.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not good.

[Dave Anthony]

How does that happen?

[Kyle Anderson]

Well, his belly's so up, he can't press it against no glass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I. I don't know. I mean, I would guess. Said, are they poisoned or. He got food poisoned?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, they probably got food poisoned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Canning. I mean, they probably canned it improperly while they were rotting. He was like, these are good.

[Dave Anthony]

I just found an open can on the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there's certain. There are, like, certain fish where, like, in Japan, they'll bury it for, like, 30 years, and then they'll be like, this is a delicacy. And you're just like, what are you eating?

[Dave Anthony]

I. I can't. And I. I do that. Something like that flashes into my mind sometime of watching the Chinese giant worm thing eat lots. It's. Oh, the.

[Kyle Anderson]

Like, the.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like. It's like they're like, hey, today I'm going to go on camera and eat a dune worm. And you're like, what are you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, and then it's like. And then we'll be at the Cheesecake Factory and be like, how good is this chicken look?

[Dave Anthony]

But live. It's so much. Yeah, Like I could see, okay, you cooked a worm. But just watching them take out this live worm and chomp its head off, you're like, what the just happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. You know, I could probably get down with eating like, like grasshoppers. That's the one where I live.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure. Really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess I don't want to. I'd rather them on a stick.

[Dave Anthony]

I would eat. I would eat a. A crispy fried one to see what it was like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but I, I would rather that.

[Dave Anthony]

But again, to me, the texture would freak me the out.

[Kyle Anderson]

See, the libs just want you to eat bugs. Talking about the left wants you to eat bugs. That's a whole right wing conspiracy. And y' all are feeding right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Kyle Anderson]

What, what was the check like for this, boys?

[Dave Anthony]

Soros has given us 500amonth to promote.

[Kyle Anderson]

Buggy pastor who just got paid to go to Saudi Arabia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like our zins. We're just putting crickets in our mouth. Oh, yeah. I don't need coffee anymore.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So. While on the front end of a car on Hanover yesterday afternoon, patrolman George Bussy of East Boston station was suddenly taken ill. He was on his way to police headquarters for the mail for the East Boston station and he collapsed on the car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, he was definitely going to take a. Like, they were like, oh, he's going to get them. But he was definitely like, I got a home base it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Anderson]

I gotta go put some mail in the mailbox, if you know what I'm saying.

[Dave Anthony]

He collapsed on the car and a man conveyed him to the Hanover street station where he was attended by Dr. Dunn and later removed to the relief station station. There.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The toilet.

[Dave Anthony]

It was. Yeah, this guy just. Just dumping the relief state.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my.

[Kyle Anderson]

Can you imagine the relief station after.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that's sardine diarrhea.

[Dave Anthony]

1904 diarrhea must have been terrible from sardines.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're like, we're seeing a lot of this dude.

[Kyle Anderson]

A cab includes the. The cop his brains out on the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

There it was ascertained that he was suffering with. With ptomine tomain P T O M a a I N E. Sure. Ptomaine poisoning caused by eating canned sardines. His condition Is not serious. So then it's not a news story. A guy got a tummy ache?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody.

[Kyle Anderson]

We don't got a word for canned sardines, but let's make sure this guy ain't too duck.

[Dave Anthony]

No milk Sundays?

[Kyle Anderson]

No, not for him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

After I make a roll. Yeah, he needs it.

[Kyle Anderson]

He's like can we do no milk Sunday?

[Dave Anthony]

Lexington. Lexington, Kentucky samples a puritan Sabbath. Lexington counted by some statisticians as the third wickedest town of its size in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The U.S. they flip that.

[Kyle Anderson]

Boston, of course. The first wickedest y Lexington.

[Dave Anthony]

I wonder why it was wicked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. Having been there, they've really turned it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they.

[Kyle Anderson]

They were successful in their d. So.

[Dave Anthony]

Much less wicked now has been a spotless town. Today only restaurants, streetcars and prescription counters of drugstores were allowed to do business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a lot of places to be honest.

[Dave Anthony]

They shut, but that's a lot shut down though still restaurants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That's why you gotta jump in the river. Are.

[Dave Anthony]

18 persons are registered at the police station charged with violating the sabbath and not one is a saloon keeper or gambler. H Those arrested include 11 milkmen. One what the. Well yeah. Cuz milkman had to deliver every day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Or else the kids die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Or I mean also then you're like the van's gonna stink. Get it on the porch.

[Kyle Anderson]

Oh, none of our milk came. I guess I'll just have to dip into these delicious looking canned sar.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what happens. I'll tell you then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're so many better ways to sin than milk.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My neighbor's wife.

[Dave Anthony]

You ever a milk.

[Kyle Anderson]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. One proprietor of a creamery, one barber, one druggist, a manager of a packing house and two bookkeepers employed by packing houses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So.

[Kyle Anderson]

And would you call him an operator of a creamery?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, proprietor.

[Kyle Anderson]

A proprietor of a creamery.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Kyle Anderson]

That's a great name for a job.

[Dave Anthony]

That is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyways, I'm a proprietor for a creamery.

[Dave Anthony]

If I worked in porn. If I worked in porn, that's what.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd call myself in the credits story by proprietor of the crate. You don't want that guy's job. Can you guys leave the room? There's some sticking to you.

[Kyle Anderson]

And then they called someone else a drugstore, which is another title. I wouldn't mind being my lower third.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you are a drugstore, by the way.

[Kyle Anderson]

Kyle Anderson, drugster.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The engineers and electricians. The engineers and electricians at the power plant of the Lexington Street Railway and Interurban company were arrested tonight. But they gave bond and upon advice of the officers to of the companies remained at their post. So they got. So they got arrested, fined, and then the left alone. And then their bosses were like, yeah, just go back to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go back to work.

[Kyle Anderson]

Work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, cops shouldn't be working. Why aren't we taking the day? Like, what's the line here?

[Dave Anthony]

Really good. Really good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I would do.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not allowed to work today.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I'm under arrest? You're under arrest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm afraid you can't arrest me unless you're a working officer. He just shits that.

[Kyle Anderson]

But yeah, I was gonna say that was the sound of his pants filling with diarrhea. No, Me walking up to the. To the police station with a big, big, big bushel of canned fish, being like, boys, dolphins, day off tomorrow.

[Dave Anthony]

Mayor com said tonight Lexington will not only be a dry town on Sundays as was asked for by the law and order league, but I intend to see it that nothing, whatever that is not for charity or a necessity is sold.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mr. Mayor, really unclear here. No, what are you trying to just. Bottom, what are you trying to say?

[Dave Anthony]

What I'm trying to say is Lexington will not only be a dry town on Sundays, as was asked for by the law and order league, but I intend to see that nothing, whatever that is not for charity or.

[Kyle Anderson]

I think the mayor's milk drunk again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he is for sure. Just say we're shutting everything and no boozing.

[Dave Anthony]

It will not only be a dry town on Sunday. Was asked for by the law.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put it in his mouth. It's happen.

[Dave Anthony]

I intended.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor. There's milk coming out of him. Don't worry, he's foaming milk.

[Kyle Anderson]

Got a big billy in his mouth. He's going to be fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what?

[Dave Anthony]

People just used more words back then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but the whatever is because there.

[Dave Anthony]

Was nothing to do, so why not just talk more?

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you know how it is. You know how when you're in the middle of a story where you're like, yeah, yeah, someone's talking. They're like. But in many. You're like, come on, buddy.

[Dave Anthony]

There's also people who tell stories and then they just add in a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

War.

[Kyle Anderson]

My favorite thing is when someone's trying to remember the cross streets that the story happened at and it is inconsequential.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or how about when someone tells a story and they know it's bombed, so the ending Is getting another run they're.

[Dave Anthony]

Like new ending second time they're like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Foot like adding more like you done.

[Kyle Anderson]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

His one shot true Texas farmer killed by son in dispute over crops Yep. This is out of Texas obviously. Watson. A farmer was shot dead in a pistol duel today with his son Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Man, that is crazy to duel your kid.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah but I get it. I mean trust me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Time to lose.

[Dave Anthony]

I would had a duel with my father.

[Kyle Anderson]

Dave would have Dave against your boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's tough Dave. Dave's father passed away but we have was murdered. Heard some rumors lately that he might be alive Michigan.

[Dave Anthony]

You killed him?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're still looking into that not to yeah well killed him no he was. It's a whole thing I didn't kill.

[Kyle Anderson]

Him Murder crossover when no no no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's dad was a mentor to me but. But we still think he might be around.

[Dave Anthony]

What. What were the ashes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There were no well that we think the ashes were probably a fake.

[Dave Anthony]

A fake day his body me seeing his body and the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a lot of stuff they can do that can. I'm just telling you if anyone could pull off a fake death, it's your dad.

[Dave Anthony]

How weird is it going to be if you just keep doing this and it never catches on with anybody that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not about catching on, it's about finding them. And honestly think most of it's been on Patreon.

[Kyle Anderson]

Do a reverse dollop episode that's just you outlining the entire Dave's talked about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doing a dollop on his dad but.

[Dave Anthony]

Too hard to find all the information.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You let me know if you need me to fill in any gaps because that guy. That guy and I learned a lot about each other over the years we got to spend together.

[Dave Anthony]

The father and son had a dispute over a division of crops. The father shot three times and the boy once.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's even worse.

[Dave Anthony]

The boy is in jail for what killed his daddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody would be dueled.

[Dave Anthony]

It should be fair to kill you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well if you shoot him if you.

[Dave Anthony]

And one shot that also like what if. What if the son just loved like Greek tragedy stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean but also how if you go to jail from shoot dad shot at you three times, you have no choice but to shoot.

[Kyle Anderson]

Right. I kind of also feel like it might be the thing where the dad was kind of like oh man. Oh my boy got me. I'm so proud.

[Dave Anthony]

Well there was fake missed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was just like, you know shoot three times.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. There was definitely a thing in dueling where you missed on purpose like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was know that's what happened in Hamilton.

[Kyle Anderson]

That's a really fun thing of being like. I thought you were going to miss on purpose. I thought we were missing about what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't you love me?

[Kyle Anderson]

I thought that was like a mutual unspoken respect betwixt the two of us. Like in Hamilton.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You thought we were going to do a Hamilton?

[Kyle Anderson]

No, we weren't doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We going to do a Hamilton. I'm gna die. I thought we were going to do a Hamilton. His last words were, I thought we was going to do a Hamilton. I was pretty sure we was gonna do a Hamilton.

[Kyle Anderson]

Wow. So now he has all his dad's corn, huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kyle Anderson]

This is all over like a half acre of corn, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Once I get out of here, though, I got a lot of corn.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah, this is all the corn you can grow around the Boston area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mom's been pretty weird.

[Kyle Anderson]

The tomato plant's mine now.

[Dave Anthony]

Greg widow weds Ms. Raymond. Now Ms. John Tatro of Pittsfield.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Call it a wedding.

[Dave Anthony]

Ms. Agnes Raymond, a widow, has married her boy, Border John Tacho, this afternoon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Border.

[Kyle Anderson]

He boards boys for her. All for extra boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bring out a few more more boys. My boys.

[Dave Anthony]

The widow confessed to being married to being 44 years of age, while her husband gave his age at 19. Whoa.

[Kyle Anderson]

Nice. All right, you want to talk about a milk?

[Dave Anthony]

This should happen. This should. This is only in the paper because she's way older, but it's awesome. Yeah, it's great. If you. If you were a younger gent and you ever spent time with an older lady. Tell me it's not awesome. It's awesome. It's pretty awesome.

[Kyle Anderson]

How long?

[Dave Anthony]

You know what they're doing is what I'm saying. Kyle. What?

[Kyle Anderson]

I said, how long has she been a headliner, by the way? The way?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I. I always go 20 years ahead. I like when they lose it.

[Dave Anthony]

And had. And she had to secure the consent of his parents before the knot could be tied.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd like to. Your son.

[Dave Anthony]

I want your boy. I want his meat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want your boy's penis. I'm going to suck your son's.

[Dave Anthony]

This is purely sexual. I'm going to take everything out of him and leave him a husk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, first of all, you're our age. I don't know why you're talking like that. Hello? Okay, talk. He was literally our age. I went to school with you. Yeah, in my day.

[Dave Anthony]

Hello?

[Gareth Reynolds]

In my day, you sucked a man's dick through his ass. What? No, you didn't.

[Kyle Anderson]

Dad.

[Dave Anthony]

I love Her.

[Kyle Anderson]

Please sign it. I love her, dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. Fine.

[Dave Anthony]

It took the widow but a month to win her young husband after he entered her household. And the harvest moon is said to have something to do with the ardent court courtship.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we think this is a mood based relationship. They're moon lovers.

[Dave Anthony]

I never thought about this, but if you're. If you're a. An older woman who's single and you know, you enjoy sex. A boarding house is a great way to go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh yeah. Without question.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, are you kidding me?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's always open all the time, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Drew married his pillow.

[Kyle Anderson]

You tell me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's got legs. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

The widow and her border had not even an acquaintance until he was accepted as a member of her family. And the romance developed with swiftness. What the widow wanted was companionship. And ahead of the house. And young John, blooming with youth. Well set up. Fond of home and domestic inclinations. Just filled to the full measure. Her ideal of another husband. Husband. And John was willing.

[Kyle Anderson]

Wow, dude. I love Rocky Horror. Rocky Horror is such a good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's perfect.

[Dave Anthony]

The city clerk told you see that on the plane? Rocky Horror.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I saw it on planes. Because I don't want to mislead you.

[Kyle Anderson]

Singular for plane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want to mislead you. I sat towards the wing. But I want to be clear. There are two on each plane.

[Dave Anthony]

The city clerk.

[Kyle Anderson]

There's a word for plural. Wing. It's wings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I sat. I sat next to the wings.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't keep doing. You sit next to one wing or the other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I sat next to Wings.

[Dave Anthony]

I sat next to the band Wings. Oh, the band. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a cover band. A little Wings.

[Kyle Anderson]

We were in the band.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Little Wings.

[Dave Anthony]

That band is little wing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, little wing. Small. McCartney is the lead singer.

[Dave Anthony]

The city clerk told the couple that they must have the consent of the would be braggram's father. And John went out and sought his father, Moses Tatro, who appeared and gave his consent. Why would you need it if you're 19?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why would you name your Moses?

[Dave Anthony]

The father's name is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's crazy. Imagine your son Moses.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it's a lot to live up to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Moses.

[Kyle Anderson]

Hey, I only know like four names, so lay off.

[Dave Anthony]

Jeremiah. Moses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Moses, Jesus and God. What?

[Dave Anthony]

My son God. My other son, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These are our cats. The three wise men.

[Dave Anthony]

The next step was to find a clergyman to tie the knot. And the couple sought Reverend Charles Leonard of the Methodist church who questioned the couple. They Admitted that they had known each other but a month. Month. We love each other, said the widow. And surely there is no reason why we should not marry. The minister strongly advised the couple to not marry on the ground of the difference of their ages. But they married. But they married. It's an older dude to a young man all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's.

[Kyle Anderson]

Father, she's gonna suck my dick through my ass. Please excuse me, father.

[Dave Anthony]

The head is amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Amazing what? Father, it's disgusting. She's 44. She's a wretch.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, she could have been in love with him, but for this dude, it's all about the sex there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Listen again, we're not. Yes, it is 1904, though.

[Kyle Anderson]

She's 150 in that time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

True, but he's 80. 19. 19.

[Dave Anthony]

The. The.

[Kyle Anderson]

The.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your penis. It just.

[Dave Anthony]

It has.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's either earth or orifice. I'll salt burn the ground.

[Kyle Anderson]

The father's just being like, you can't Betty White dude. This is crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't.

[Kyle Anderson]

Betty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The minister. It is gross. He. My dad's Moses.

[Dave Anthony]

He was afraid. He said that they would not be happy. He had never been called upon to perform a marriage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And again, it's gross.

[Dave Anthony]

Where there was such a different in the ages in the bride and groom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even know how to do it. And nobody's gonna be able to focus.

[Dave Anthony]

On anything and explain that in a few years, the bride would reach half a century and her husband would only be 25 years old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The woman's vagina dies at 48 in.

[Dave Anthony]

The prime of manhood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you. Your penis is going to be a rocket.

[Kyle Anderson]

It is brutal to look a woman in the face and be like, well, I mean, in a couple years, you're going to be a half century lady.

[Gareth Reynolds]

50. Do you understand what I'm telling you?

[Kyle Anderson]

You can't use up this young, virile man who would totally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God's already pulling her up to the clutch.

[Kyle Anderson]

Rotate.

[Dave Anthony]

Today, just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Unconscientious grounds. The minister told the couple he preferred not to marry them. He advised that they defer their marriage for a time and learn to know each other better.

[Kyle Anderson]

You're 19. You should be dying in a war.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you doing? Yeah, right. Neither the widow nor the boy boarder thought well of the advice, and after leaving, the methodist personage hurried back to the city hall, where they importuned the city clerk to perform the ceremony, which he did in the presence of the boy's father and others. This afternoon, city clerk Lewis said that there was no Legal objection to the ceremony he had compiled. With the request of the couple, Mr. And Ms. Tatro led left for the east on an afternoon train and will spend their honeymoon in Springfield.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That train ride must have just so much pork here.

[Kyle Anderson]

Well, I mean, it's only. She just got a honeymoon in Springfield.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's true. When you think about. Oh, look at Chili's.

[Kyle Anderson]

We're going to the ninth wickedest city, honey. Springfield.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy.

[Dave Anthony]

But like, as far as like the sexual peak thing, which I don't know if it's true, but it's always like women in they're around 40 and a dude who's 19 is the, like, ultimate age for a dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean it.

[Dave Anthony]

Although you're pretty randy still.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but it's definitely. It's tapered. It's still. It's still difficult to live in my body.

[Kyle Anderson]

By the way, I love the scientist doing that study. The college scientists that are like the Van Wilder of the science program who's like. So I got a theory.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So she's still super interested to. But she's not as into as she will be right now. You want to everything that moves.

[Kyle Anderson]

How do we quantitate head game? I'm glad you asked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So.

[Dave Anthony]

A remarkable case, Mose. Another Moses. Ah, Moses. Bing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Another Moses. Must have been weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Moses Ballerstein of Hartford accidentally shot himself through the head on March 26th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, oopsy daisy.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever done that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The lesser movie? Moses.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoopsie.

[Kyle Anderson]

He parted that Red Sea, didn't he?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, golly. There is red everywhere he goes.

[Kyle Anderson]

One of every bullet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

The ball entered about the center of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Noah, who stood by.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Noah, get out of here. We will take one piece of his brain and put it on a boat. What? Get out of here. Think about it.

[Kyle Anderson]

Don't look back. Or you turn into salt or something.

[Dave Anthony]

Something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll get two of each and I'll put his brain on a boat. We're all. We're the almost biblical characters. We're doing a show, but we're tiny. It's a mini Bible.

[Dave Anthony]

The ball entered about the center of the forehead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, the ball.

[Dave Anthony]

How do you. Okay. I mean, we're gonna find out. It had to ricochet, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And maybe. I'm guessing he looked down the barrel. Nothing in here.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. And it's effect. I mean, he hit it. He accidentally shooting himself in the center of the forehead is crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It. I mean, he must have been a relay race.

[Dave Anthony]

Its effect was to render him unconscious for about a half an hour, after which not knowing the extent of his injuries, he walked unassisted to his house a mile distant.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then. What the.

[Dave Anthony]

He shot himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Moses.

[Dave Anthony]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You okay?

[Kyle Anderson]

Same thing happened to me once at one time. I shot myself in the head and I accidentally ran like a 10k.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I've done that.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, a lot of us have done that. That's just like a thing walking by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A guy who's got a hole in his head. Where you going, Moses? I'm telling H.

[Kyle Anderson]

He walks past you like. Can you believe that's the smart Moses?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a Moses at all.

[Dave Anthony]

A doctor probed the wound to a depth of a little over 2 inches, but he could not reach the ball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You going to get it closer? I just. I feel something.

[Kyle Anderson]

It's either reaches in and can't feel the ball. Story of my life.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't get it. What we talking about? Like, basketball?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, did you see the. Did you see this comment? Dave, There's a comment. Some guy commented on our stuff and it made me laugh so hard.

[Kyle Anderson]

This is breaking comment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy, Gareth Comet corner. He goes, goes. He was so mad. He goes, this is not our. We're doing a cats that we're watching cats to raise money for a food bank.

[Dave Anthony]

So actual cats. We're just going out to watch cats?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're going to an alley to watch cats. This guy goes, I love how the dollop Reddit never says about anything important, never will let us post up about Trump or Epstein graped kids. But as soon as something salacious like he may have blown a very adult Bill Clinton, then yes, of course it's hilarious and disgusting at the same time. But then all the adolescent minded fanboys glob onto that and can't stop shit posting about it. I've asked, could you please focus on the horrible crimes Trump committed on children, but you created a simple silly fan base that doesn't understand this is exactly what they want. You focusing on everything but Trump and Epstein and kids. It's on the dollop post on Instagram.

[Dave Anthony]

It's on Instagram. He's talking. But he's talking about the dollop subreddit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, but he's soft going.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, are they blocking people who talk about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sure they're not. Not.

[Dave Anthony]

I doubt it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sure they're not.

[Kyle Anderson]

I'm sure there's a guy who posted about it nine times a day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. But the idea that it's like you guys are pretty obviously avoiding talking about Epstein.

[Dave Anthony]

He probably put up that's all we talk about. He probably put up some posts that they didn't like because he was being a douchebag like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, we, you know the truth. This is what happens. People are like, you're not talking enough about. And we're like, we're talking a ton of about everybody. It's endless. All we're doing.

[Kyle Anderson]

Doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're, we're, we're talking way too much.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, people always get stuck up. Like, I was, I looked at it the other day and someone was like, you know what I can't stand is how they, they like rant at the end of every single episode and it's like, okay, five years ago. Like, what are you talking?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, that is the easiest thing in the world to avoid the end of something.

[Kyle Anderson]

Idiots.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just can't handle.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you stop an end? Any know how to shut this thing off? I'm done with it.

[Dave Anthony]

Seriously, getting mad at people, talking at the end of something is so amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Amazing.

[Kyle Anderson]

You guys, you guys talk a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

Of shit about that.

[Kyle Anderson]

I mean, Gareth, obviously in private. You. You love Epstein.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, I love the concept of him.

[Dave Anthony]

I've. I've become. This past week, I've actually become pro Epstein. Is that weird?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just like having an island with your boys. Someone's gonna pitch it. Look, you get 15 cool dudes together, one of them is gonna go, what about younger?

[Dave Anthony]

It's gonna happen, I've always said.

[Kyle Anderson]

I don't even think Epstein's island was like the fifth nicest pedophile island.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I'm sure there's better pedophile. I'm sure there's so many.

[Kyle Anderson]

Like, there's got to be a billionaire. That's like, we're going to Jeffries.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God, it's such a hole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a lot of emails.

[Kyle Anderson]

He only has 14 massage slaves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys coming?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna run for president. My only thing is going to be I'm going to put Giselle Maxwell in, transfer her to an all male person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jeez, people be like. And again, the polling, not sure what to reflect Dave Anthony's position. First of all, he doesn't even say her name proper. The amount of the way that I don't even. I think it's Galain.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it's Galain. What's a stupid name?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so stupid.

[Kyle Anderson]

It's a really bad name. It's very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's coming from a Gareth.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, Gary. That's Why? We fixed it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So a doctor probed the wound to the depth of a little over 2 inches, but could not reach the ball. He. Which had evidently launched in the back of the skull.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. He was trying to get to a ball through.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever done that? What do you do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sound.

[Kyle Anderson]

And.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I mean, what are you putting in there? Like a pencil? Like, what do you. He's got to have some kind of.

[Kyle Anderson]

They definitely don't know about magnets here.

[Dave Anthony]

At this point, a doctor would just be putting his finger in there going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I feel like we're beyond finger, but it definitely. I feel like at some point someone. Doorbell.

[Kyle Anderson]

Now hold. Now hold still, Mr. Johnson. I'm going to put my. My mouth over your eye and I'm going to suck in real hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Moses, we're going to try to lure the bullet out with a worm.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna put milk in front of the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Kyle Anderson]

Milk and worms in the head. The bullet's going to flush right out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Moses, we're going to fill your little head dish with some milk here and let a cat suck it out in the hopes that the sandpaper tongue hits bullet. How's that feel it cold And a. No good.

[Kyle Anderson]

No more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. There we go.

[Kyle Anderson]

Moses is like, how does leeches solve this? And they're like, it works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The metal. Quiet there, Moses. You be quiet now, little Moses. Let us do the doctrine. Get that tent racket.

[Kyle Anderson]

Think it hurts like jiggling around in the back there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we are.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. This is amazing. He was at once put to bed and kept perfectly quiet. Yeah, he was definitely perfectly quiet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's sleeping. He is really out. He's really sleeping. Look how blue he's getting with hardly.

[Dave Anthony]

Anything to eat until the 10th day when some matter came out of the wound. Jesus Christ. Awful. Some matter came out of the wound. That's his brain, by the way.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The matter coming.

[Kyle Anderson]

Ten days.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy. Something popped out.

[Dave Anthony]

Someone had some waffles. Someone had a brain fart. Dude, look at that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at that.

[Kyle Anderson]

I like how this is posing like, oh, well, now that his brain's leaking and he hasn't eaten in 10 days, I think he's on the mend.

[Dave Anthony]

He's.

[Kyle Anderson]

He's better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's had worse days.

[Kyle Anderson]

Bounce back.

[Dave Anthony]

Get him some musely relieving him and partially restoring the power of speech, which he. Which he had lost. He had lost soon after the accident. Yeah, he got shot in the head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they just left him there for 10 days, like this is the hut. Hardest phase of this.

[Dave Anthony]

How did they know he got. How did they know that he did it to himself?

[Kyle Anderson]

At this point, smells don't get scared, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me. He must. They start putting the food in the hole. No. Hey, Andy.

[Kyle Anderson]

Andy's coming out. I think it's a little bit of bacon and some egg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at that. He loves tomatoes. Hey, Andy. He's really eating these tomatoes. Andy, that's the bullet hole. Oh, I was gonna say he really blew himself up there. That's the mouth.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoa. 21 days after being shot, he had a relapse. He relapsed. Wait. Relapse?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Christ. He shot at the hole again. He swore he gave it up. Well, last night, I fell off the wagon and shot another bullet into the hole. Moses.

[Kyle Anderson]

Addiction is a disease.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Moses.

[Kyle Anderson]

That's a My Strange addiction episode. I would watch. Guy who's addicted to shooting himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Christ.

[Kyle Anderson]

It's my favorite in character.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're rattling. I wouldn't know.

[Dave Anthony]

They have an intervention. Look, you need to stop shooting yourself in the head. We're worried about you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I watch.

[Kyle Anderson]

Who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm dying to talk of doing that.

[Dave Anthony]

But he was brought out of it by the use of stimulants, so they gave him coke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we are. He shot himself in the head again. So put some coke in him. There you go. They can start the line through the. At all.

[Kyle Anderson]

A guy who keeps accidentally shooting himself in the head definitely needs to be coked up.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. After. After which he recovered rapidly. Hey, you guys. What are you guys doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Both of them are talking. The forehead.

[Kyle Anderson]

After which he promptly started four businesses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Dave Anthony]

And is now apparently as well as ever. No medicine was given. What the is Careful dieting and keeping the wound open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, you eat a lot of meat. You hear me?

[Dave Anthony]

Careful dieting and keeping the wound open. Cons constituting all the treatment. They're keeping the wound open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably hoping it'll drop out.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, the bullet. The ball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Walk me through why else they keep it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, why? I guess that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But not on Sundays.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what they have to think.

[Kyle Anderson]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody stays.

[Kyle Anderson]

You got to be careful to keep like an earring hole open. Open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kyle Anderson]

We are let alone the right. Like your head hole that goes from the front to the.

[Dave Anthony]

I would put a cork in it. It would be hard dating.

[Kyle Anderson]

Oh, that's fun. You could take the cork out. You could pour a little glass of discharge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's fantastic. He's really great. The. He's got a good job. He is super diligent. He's been through a lot, so he's a big empath and everything.

[Dave Anthony]

Is he hard?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's hot. Yeah, he's hot. Yeah. He's a Moses. He does have a cork in his forehead because he shot himself in it.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Kyle Anderson]

Look, I mean, he's. He sounds like kind of a catch, and if. If a mistake like that happens one time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on. He's got brain coming out everywhere. Hold on. Get the cork. Moses, where's your cork? Hi, Moses. Where's your cork?

[Dave Anthony]

Laid down.

[Kyle Anderson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got a real appetite for laying down. He loves to lay down. Hot.

[Kyle Anderson]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he's got to take naps constantly. He's, like, super ill.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Kyle, you did it. You did another one.

[Kyle Anderson]

You made it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You made it.

[Kyle Anderson]

That was. That was a joy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can only imagine what we didn't get to. That should be that. You know what? We should do that. We have a. We could do a Patreon Extra Dave, where you hold on to ones we didn't get to and just put them in a pile and we just call it what we didn't get to.

[Kyle Anderson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we could just do some of these.

[Dave Anthony]

We actually could do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should do that.

[Dave Anthony]

But I think. No, I think. Yeah, yeah, we could do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Kyle. Anyway, we came up with a great Patreon. Have a good life.

[Kyle Anderson]

No, no, I'm fading away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What else? Where. Where can people find you on Instagram?

[Kyle Anderson]

Kai Guy, check me out at Kyle Anderson comedy on Instagram. Or, like I said, Kyle and Zio breaking stories on YouTube and go watch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Chris Delia problem. That guy's selling out theaters. Adding shows.

[Dave Anthony]

No. Is he adding shows? Yeah. Yeah, he's adding shows.

[Kyle Anderson]

I do want to say that I don't understand how he didn't get the Saudi Arabia invite. That's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, God bless him, though, because he came out after, he's like, this is bullshit.

[Kyle Anderson]

He didn't go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even Saudi Arabia was like, you're creepy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. Saudi Arabia is like, no, not the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Year you took away a lot of women's rights. Something we don't support. Hey, Dollop fans, I know you love the Dollop. You love listening to the Dollop. Do you want to watch the Dollop? You're like, gareth, what are you talking about? By the way? It's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch. Watch a five parter animation, which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode, I can't remember of the rube. You can go to LakeSide Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the rube. It. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the rube.