165 - The Past Times with Natalia Kvalem - The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

Transcript

A (0:00)

All right. Welcome to the pastimes. Some call this Dave. It's a podcast, but it's basically like a radio. It's like. It's like a radio show.

B (0:18)

I don't know what you're doing.

A (0:19)

You know what we do here each week, we go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it, and neither has this week's guest, the great Natalia, Kyle Kavalem. Hello, Natalia. Hey. Hi.

C (0:33)

Hello. Hello. David and Gareth.

B (0:36)

Hello.

A (0:37)

Thank you. We should go by David and Garlia.

C (0:40)

I was just feeling that, you know, wasn't that.

A (0:44)

It felt like that's. Are you leaving the show? It's hard to tell.

C (0:46)

I'm already out. I've done my part.

A (0:50)

I don't say. That's fine. We can figure it out. Natalia, we just met you shooting a little short for our buddy Prestis in Denver, and we just had such a laugh. We were like, you got to come do the show. So thank you for being here. Now, you, you're a hybrid. You're a multi hyphenate. What. Where can people find you? And what will they. What will they find when they find you?

C (1:20)

Criminal records mostly. But beyond that, sure, beyond that, you can find me at Miss Kitty Divine. I am a multi hyphenate. I do comedy, circus and burlesque, you know, and for the right amount, I do take hits. You know, I.

A (1:38)

You take hits? What does that mean?

C (1:40)

You know, just, you know, wink, wink, nudge.

A (1:46)

Oh, you do the right, right, yeah.

C (1:48)

It's just a side business. You know, every artist.

A (1:50)

You know that.

C (1:51)

Every artist.

A (1:52)

Yeah. No day, I didn't. I've never called them hits, but I take them. Boy, howdy do I. Yeah, I got a specific Venmo for hit taking.

Summary

The Dollop #165: The Past Times with Natalia Kvalem
Release Date: March 13, 2026
Hosts: Dave Anthony & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Natalia Kvalem

Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode of The Past Times (a spin-off of The Dollop), comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by circus and comedy performer Natalia Kvalem. The trio explores the New York Herald from December 7, 1922, riffing on genuine news stories from the past century with their trademark blend of history, wit, and improv. The episode ranges from discussions about pocket meats to bizarre divorce court stories, odd dog excuses, and an unexpected journey through 1920s society’s quirks.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Guess the Year” Introduction

The show opens with banter as guests attempt to guess the year of the selected newspaper.
- Natalia guesses "1600s," Gareth goes with "2026," and Dave picks "1922"—the correct answer.
- [02:39] Quote:
  “Natalia is very clear okay, great. Great. All right, then I’m going to go 20, 26. Let’s meet in the middle, see who wins this.” (Dave)

2. Meat in the Pockets: The Tale of Henry Kuzlo

[03:21] The group reads about a dishwasher found with a roast chicken, two pounds of sauerkraut, a fresh ham, and a bottle of ketchup stashed in pockets.
- Discussion revolves around the practicality and emotional motivations of carrying meat around.
- Notable quotes and exchanges:
  • "He's like a walking PITA." (Gareth, [05:04])
  • "Have you ever had a rotisserie chicken on a hard day?" (Natalia, [07:10])
  • Gareth jokes about “the pocket rule”—being allowed to leave your job with as much food as you can fit in your clothes ([12:18]):
  “I actually do subscribe to the pocket rule. As much as you can load in yourself. Like a ham magician.”

3. The Deaf Dog Can Do No Evil

[13:07] The trio reads about a man defending his unmuzzled French poodle in court, claiming the dog is harmless because it’s deaf and was born in the trenches of Marne.
- Extended riffing on poodle intelligence and theories about pets’ secret lives.
  • "Should everyone be named after their origin trauma though?" (Dave, [16:39])
  • "Isn’t that right, C-section?” (Natalia, [16:47])
- Anecdotes about Dave’s own doodle dogs watching him sleep ([15:02]).

4. Divorce, Bad Math, and the “Wife Can’t Count” Story

[17:08] The group discusses a man seeking annulment as his wife can’t do arithmetic, leading to a deep dive into historical gender roles, "girl math," and ironic social commentary.
- [20:32] Gareth highlights the absurdity:
  “So you live in the era where women aren’t allowed to spend any money... But you pretty much have eliminated the use of numbers other than maybe weighing flour. And yet this guy’s all the way at the Supreme Court because he’s like, she can’t budget.”
- Natalia introduces the concept of "girl math" ([20:38]):
  “So I go into a store and let’s say a $50 item is 50% off. I just made $25 by buying.”

5. Court-Ordered Street Bans & Marital Strife

[33:51] A judge orders a drunken husband not to set foot on his wife’s street; logistics and absurdities of the sentence are lampooned.
- [35:46] “Avoid the road. That’s the one year complication.” (Dave)
- The group jokes about custody visits and the impracticalities of enforced street bans, e.g., playing catch across the block ([37:37] Natalia: “I’ll play catch with you from 38th street to 37th street, but don’t make me go there.”)

6. Prohibition-Era Liquor Deaths & Justice

[41:00] An article is read about five men released after a woman dies of alcohol poisoning. Rapid asides on Prohibition, miscarriage of justice, and a detour into RoboCop and Schrodinger’s Cat.
- “Five guys, her, and she dies from alcohol poisoning. It’s very shady.” (Dave, [43:28])
- “I think it’s a Schrodinger’s cat thing where RoboCop is both dead and alive.” (Natalia, [42:22])

7. Sing Sing Prisoners’ Musical Comedy

[43:51] Dave shares a story about the “Honey Girl” musical performed by convicts for outside visitors.
- “They name the prison the Sing-Sing Prison. What do they expect but to break out a musical song?” (Natalia, [44:16])
- Routine riffs about casting, escape risks, and the merits of prison reform through theater.

8. Senate Smoking Scandal

[47:22] The group marvels at a story of a senator shocking Congress by smoking a cigar on the floor.
- “I pine for the time when that was in the paper. I mean, this is the first political article of this paper.” (Dave, [47:37])

9. Woodrow Wilson's Obedience

[52:23] Mrs. Wilson claims her husband, former President Woodrow Wilson, always obeys orders.
- “This guy was like, don’t print this article.” (Dave, [52:30])
- “He does exactly what his doctor tells him to do and cooperates with him in every way imaginable so that we all are delighted with the results.” (Mrs. Wilson via Gareth, [53:51])
- The crew jokes about national treaties and marital compliance.

10. Round-the-World Yacht Adventure & ‘Savage’ Stereotypes

[54:50] Newspaper details a yacht’s world tour, racism is called out in coverage of indigenous peoples encountered.
- “It’s so it. It’s like the sweet racism. These idiot savages could maybe help us.” (Dave, [58:05])
- Natalia: “Maybe, just maybe, we have something to learn from these morons.” ([58:18])

11. Hallmark Parody: The Meat Coat Rom-Com

[49:55] A running bit about Hallmark movies involving a “meat coat” romance develops from the opening story’s oddities.
- “Holiday deli. She walked in to get some cold cuts. They had a real meat truck turn.” (Dave)
- Natalia: “And then she’s like, I’ve decided to stop being a vegetarian. You’ve shown me the true meaning of Christmas.” ([50:09])

Notable Quotes & Moments

Pocket Meat Philosophy:
“I actually do subscribe to the pocket rule. As much as you can load in yourself. Like a ham magician.” (Gareth, [12:18])
Divorce by “Innumeracy”:
“Her inability to account… at the Supreme Court because he’s like, she can’t budget.” (Dave, [20:32])
On Naming People After Trauma:
“Should everyone be named after their origin trauma though? Sure, I’ll be Bingo Night.” (Dave, [16:39])
Girl Math Explanation:
“So I go into a store and let’s say a $50 item is 50% off. I just made $25 by buying.” (Natalia, [20:38])
Dog’s Excuse for Bad Behavior:
“Any animal or person who is deaf can... It cannot do evil. Technically. Sure.” (Dave, [13:31])
Prisoners, Not Performers:
“The biggest, easiest prison boss guy comes up, he’s like, I’m Honey Girl.” (Natalia, [44:51])
Historic Political Etiquette:
“Unaware that he was transgressing one of the sacred and vital… Inviolate rules of the body, he puffed away, oblivious…” (Gareth, reading, [48:59])
Sweet Racism Parodied:
“It’s like the sweet racism. These idiot savages could maybe help us.” (Dave, [58:05])

Timestamps for Major Segments

[02:39] — Opening guessing game: “Guess the Year”
[03:21] — Whole cooked chicken, kraut, ham, and ketchup in pockets story begins
[07:10] — Emotional debate about comfort rotisserie chicken
[13:07] — “Marnie the deaf dog” and sentient poodles
[17:08] — Wife can’t count; arithmetic and annulment debate
[33:51] — Judge orders husband off wife’s street & divorce logistics
[41:00] — Five men acquitted in a woman’s alcohol poisoning death
[43:51] — Convict comedy at Sing Sing Prison: “Honey Girl” musical
[47:22] — Senate smoking “scandal”
[52:23] — Mrs. Wilson’s ode to obedient husband, President Wilson
[54:50] — World-traveling yacht and “savage” stereotypes
[49:55] — Hallmark Christmas “Meat Coat” romantic comedy parody

Final Highlights & Takeaways

Comedic Style: The episode is rapid-fire, absurd, and self-aware, blending actual history with sharp satire and improv.
Memorable lines and recurring bits: Pocket meat, “girl math,” meat coat romance, historical marriage disputes, “sweet racism” parodies, and old timey bureaucracy.
Running Theme: Social and gender dynamics, the absurdities of 1920s American society, and the enduring problems (and comedy) found in old newspapers.

Guest Spotlight: Natalia Kvalem

Introduced as a multi-hyphenate performer—comedy, circus, burlesque.
Plugs her stage persona “Miss Kitty Divine.”
“If you don’t like, you can go confront them.” (On publishing addresses in old papers, [05:50])
Closes by describing her circus skills performed at funerals and children’s parties:
“A funeral is the perfect time to hire a fire spinner.” (Natalia, [61:24])

Summary:
A raucous tour through the oddities of 1922 New York, this episode is a comedic collision of past and present, highlighting just how strange (and familiar) old news can sound—and how comedians can morph any bit of trivia into enduring laughs.

165 - The Past Times with Natalia Kvalem