167- The Past Times with Matt Lieb

Summary

The Dollop – Episode 167: The Past Times with Matt Lieb

Released: March 27, 2026 | Hosts: Dave Anthony & Gareth Reynolds | Guest: Matt Lieb

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Episode Overview

In this episode of "The Past Times" (a cousin to The Dollop), comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by comic and podcaster Matt Lieb for an uproarious deep-dive into the headlines of a 1924 edition of the Orlando Sentinel. True to the show’s improv spirit, the trio riff, lampoon, and dissect both the content and subtext of news clippings from the roaring twenties—veering into modern parallels, absurd what-ifs, and vintage racism, classism, and superstition, all filtered through their unique comedic lens.

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Main Topics & Key Moments

1. Opening Banter: Crypto Riches, Podcasting, and Matt’s Accents

Start to ~09:00

• The hosts joke about newfound podcasting wealth from “crypto stuff” and betting on geopolitical disaster.
  • “I bet on the bombing of Iran, and I have rolled it over into nuking Iran, so I think I’m going to be pretty rich.” – Gareth (01:56)
• Matt reflects on his infamous “South African Leonardo DiCaprio” impression and social awkwardness of niche inside jokes.
  • “...People have always looked at me like, like, oh, that's funny, because I thought they got the joke, but then I now realizing they just thought I was doing a racist accent. And for that I apologize.” – Matt (03:34)
• Gareth and Dave tease Matt about his podcasting endeavors and touring life: he facetiously describes “working all the jobs” at a comedy club.
  • “They won’t let me do jokes, but they do let me do dishes… covered in suds.” – Matt (05:15)

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2. Mocking Generational Complaints & Wealth Inequality

09:00–13:00

• The trio satirize the "kids don't want to work" narrative:
  • “I need seven hours of sleep every night.” – Matt (06:37)
  • “You build up your tolerance and then you don’t have to sleep as much.” – Gareth (06:42)
• Dave skewers the complaints about siphoning money “to the top” and the casual indifference of the rich.
  • “What I always say to that is cool. Can I get more sparkling water?” – Dave (07:12)
• Crossover into sarcastic praise for modern media (e.g., “Barry Vice is unbelievable”—08:36).

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3. The Paper Guessing Game & Dave’s Cupping

13:00–16:00

• The hosts have Matt guess the year of the newspaper -- he chooses 1928; the actual paper is from 1924.
• Banter about cupping (removing “dad blood” and “Jewish trauma” via ancient medicinal practice).
  • “I’m trying to remove my dad fully from me... all the blood memory of my dad and everything like that.” – Dave (10:46)
  • “Could you please take out all my Jewish?” – Matt (11:29)

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4. Diving Into 1924 Headlines

16:00–48:00, recurring throughout the episode

a. Politics & Puritan Sermons

[16:00]

• Headline: "Will a new party help?"—The hosts joke about whether a new political party will "make America right" and poke fun at a Unitarian pastor named Badger.
  • “Imagine being a pastor named Badger.” – Matt (15:05)

b. Racist & Colonialist Films: “A Son of the Sahara”

[18:10]

• A film produced in Algeria is grandiosely hyped for using “12,500 Arabs, 8,000 camels, 2,500 horses, and the Spa Hill Cavalry of the French government.”
  • “A lot went into this. A lot of Arabs.” – Matt (20:55)
• They lampoon the colonial mentality and note the film’s infamous racism.
• Matt marks the bitter racism and class attitudes in both media and movie plots:
  • “Can you imagine being one of the most racist movies of the 1920s?” – Gareth (23:56)
  • The group discusses how the film’s plot hinges on a European woman only falling for a man after it’s revealed he's not of Arab ancestry.

c. Lost Film, Steve Bannon House, and Scuzzy Histories

[27:16]

• The movie is now “lost” except for a trailer, much to everyone’s bemusement.
• Quick detour into the legend of Steve Bannon’s notorious Florida house and its unsavory rumors.
  • “He looks like the mucus from the Mucinex commercial.” – Matt (28:46)

d. Absurd Rich People Complaints: The Rothschild Servants Tax

[41:00]

• The show's anger crescendos over an article decrying taxes on Rothschild family servants.
  • “Why do you have so many servants?” – Dave (41:34)
  • “They still do this. Jeff Bezos donated $120,000 thousand dollars to the victims of the North Carolina storms.” – Dave (44:34)
• They lampoon “having to choose” between blaming Jewish socialism for taxes and defending Jewish capitalists—citing the antisemitic undercurrents of the time.
  • “I have to choose now between blaming the Jewish Bolshevism for taxes, but also defending a famous Jewish capitalist. I don’t know what to do.” – Matt (42:07)
• Over-the-top sketches on the duties of Rothschild servants (“I do butt and balls”–Matt [43:36]) and the American love affair with labor-saving “robots” that will inevitably end up as “murder machines.”

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5. Riffing on Class, Robots, the Gilded Age, and Modern Parallels

Throughout

• The hosts draw constant parallels between 1924’s economic hubris and today’s late-stage capitalism.
  • “We are in that Gilded Age now and the racism is out of control... It's almost a year-to-year replica.” – Dave (31:38)
• Wry takes on government nonintervention, Trump’s “middle term,” and the persistent myth of the hardworking rich and lazy poor.
• The continuing spiral of fortunes for the ultrawealthy (“They feel that they're just like that this is going to work” – Dave [46:47]).

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6. The Children of the Confederacy’s Easter Egg Hunt

[50:02]

• The episode’s rage is reignited by a cheery account of Confederate descendants’ Easter egg hunt, which they morph into a satirical sketch on Southern racism:
  • “But this time, remember, only pick up the white eggs.” – Dave (51:46)
• Voices and accents slip into the absurd, everything from cartoonish southern drawl to meta-commentary on offensive impressions.

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7. Superstition, Bad Luck, and Blaming the Cat

[57:45]

• An extended riff on a black cat supposedly cursing the production of “The White Moth” film, leading to mishaps and, possibly, feline murder.
  • “This is all of this is laying the groundwork to kill it [the cat].” – Matt (61:13)
• The trio spiral into possibly the most sustained run of deadpan gags about theater superstitions.

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8. End-of-Episode Plugs & Final Impressions

[63:00–end]

• Matt promotes his stand-up, Instagram (@matliebjokes), and his podcasts, “Bad Hasbara” and the “Pod Yourself” series.
• Running gags return: Irish accents, “taking out all the Jewish,” and pleas for listeners to see Matt live.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Gags

• “What better way to forget about how much you hate your third job than being completely delirious with no idea what’s going on.” – Dave (06:46)
• “Trying to get all the blood memory of my dad and everything like that.” – Dave (10:55)
• “Could you please take out all my Jewish.” – Matt (11:29)
• “It turns out 1924, this review is the first time cancel culture was invented. Am I right, guys?” – Matt (25:08)
• Satirical anti-robot bit:
  • “They are going to be murder machines and things you...that's all that's going to happen with them.” – Matt (48:14)
• On Rothschild extravagance:
  • “What am I to cook my own foods, prepare my own beds, bathe my own balls and ass?” – Dave (43:23)
• “We like white. And that’s all we like here.” – Matt, as Southern character (52:28)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [00:55–09:00] – Crypto jokes, Matt’s accent history, generational/wealth riffs
• [13:00–16:00] – Guess the year, cupping/epigenetics banter
• [16:00–23:00] – Politics, Puritan sermons, film hype
• [23:00–26:00] – “A Son of the Sahara,” colonial movies, lost film discussion
• [41:00–48:00] – Rothschild servant tax, robots, class skewering
• [50:02–56:00] – Confederate Easter eggs, Southern satire, history rewritten
• [57:45–62:54] – Black cat, superstitions, production disasters
• [63:00–end] – Plugs, returns to running gags, episode wrap-up

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Tone and Style

Irreverent and quick-witted, the episode is laden with mocking voices, meta-humor, and sharp asides. While often absurdist, the trio’s riffs cut deep on issues of racism, class, antisemitism, and historical amnesia—always returning to modern parallels and the cyclical nature of American folly.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t heard the episode, expect an off-the-cuff, joke-heavy exploration of 1924 through the minds of three sharp, subversive comics. The headlines are real, but the historical analysis is often hilarious, deeply satirical, and sometimes uncomfortably relevant.

Transcript

[A]

My name is Mackenzie and I started a GoFundMe for the adoptive mother of a nonverbal autistic child. The mother had lost her job because she wasn't able to find adequate care for this autistic child. So she really needed some help with living expenses, paying some back bills. So I launched a GoFundMe to help support them during this crisis. And we raised about $10,000 within just a couple of months. I think that the surprising thing was by telling a clear story and just like really being very clear about what we needed, we had some really generous donations from people who were really moved by the situation that this family was struggling with.

[B]

GoFundMe is the world's number one fundraising platform, trusted by over 200 million people. Start.

[C]

Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's

[D]

gofundme.com gofundme.com this podcast is supported by GoFundMe. And welcome to the Past times. It's a podcast. I'm not gonna lie. Dave's face is real negative so far. You know what we do here each week, we go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked up by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it, and neither has this week's guest, the great Matt Lieb. Matt, y' all, talk to us.

[B]

What up? I'm so excited to be back here on not the Dollop. Very excited for this. How are you guys doing? I didn't know you guys had a studio together. You guys, when did that happen?

[D]

Oh, we've had quiz pretty flush with cash over the past couple of years. We did a lot of crypto stuff. In a good way.

[C]

Yeah, a lot of crypto stuff.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah, it looks good.

[C]

And I bet on the bombing of Iran, so I just bought it.

[D]

Yeah, we do a lot of poly stuff. Dave has a. Dave's sister is friends with Pam Bondi, so we get a lot of stuff early.

[C]

And then I took half of the money. I, I, I bet on the bombing of Iran and I have rolled it over into nuking Iran, so I think I'm going to be pretty rich.

[D]

Yeah, so we're doing real good.

[B]

Oh, man, I gotta start betting more.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, you have to.

[C]

You should, you should.

[D]

No, it's great. Yeah, everything's bad. Make some money off of.

[C]

Yeah, you can make money off.

[D]

Make money off bad.

[B]

I'll tell you what doesn't pay. Try and make money off good.

[C]

Yeah, Money off good.

[D]

Had an okay run and we tried that.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But now money. Sea level rising.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Less birds. Money off bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Windmill cancer. Money off bad.

[C]

Another pandemic.

[D]

Another pandemic.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Die from bird. Yeah, but, but Matt, when you were last on the show, I believe this was your last appearance. You really, you set our little world a fire abl with your South African Leonardo DiCaprio.

[C]

I was, I was, I was in the backyard doing a little yard work like two days ago, and I just immediately thought of that. Like it just come. It just pops into my head.

[D]

It's just, it's a top fiver.

[B]

It's an earworm. You'll just be doing whatever and you'll go, are you Chris? You get full penny before there. Yeah, it's. It's impossible to not quote that movie all the time. And you're. You know what? You guys were right. I, I was surprised to learn very few people know what I'm talking about when I do that accent.

[D]

No, it's. Yeah, you have a shorthand with it because you recognize it's insane when you see it. It's insane. It's just that as a society, we don't have a shorthand with our.

[C]

You guys.

[B]

And people have always looked at me like, like, oh, that's funny, because I thought they got the joke, but then I now realizing they just thought I was doing a racist accent. And for that I apologize.

[C]

You're doing what you would normally do with like your four college buddies, an inside joke that you came up with years ago that you still do with them, but you're doing it to the world, which makes you seem insane, right?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Makes you seem craze crazy.

[B]

It makes me seem crazed. And as you can pay first for them.

[D]

Yeah,

[B]

that's right.

[D]

All right, Matt, you're on the road. That's true. You have a couple podcasts, you have bad hasbara, you have pod yourself, and you're doing a rewatch of Mad Men right now.

[B]

Mad Men. We're on season four of Mad Men right now.

[D]

How many seasons are there?

[C]

Although isn't that also what badass bar is? Mad Men. You get it?

[D]

Are you crazy? Get it?

[B]

Come on. Are you crazy? Then you have one more deady body. Yeah, no, we do. We're now in season four of Mad Men. There's like eight or nine seasons. It's a long ass show. And yeah, you were on, I think for season two at some point.

[D]

I was in a hotel when I did yours.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. And look at me. I'm not in a hotel. I'M at my friend's house in San Bruno because I'm working at the punchline this week.

[D]

You're not doing stand up. People probably think that means you're doing stand up. You're working.

[B]

No, I just go, like working the door.

[D]

Yeah, he works the doors. You just go there a lot? Just Matt. What? Matt. What I love about Matt is Matt goes on the road to work in clubs, but he just kind of works a bunch of the jobs just to sort of get the whole. The whole buffalo.

[B]

Well, I'd like to be, you know, a working comic, or I'm a road comic. And they won't let me do jokes, but they do let me do dishes. And so I'll do the dishes and usually I'll do some autographs afterwards, take some pictures with some people, and they're usually confused because I'm covered in suds.

[D]

Yeah, no, that's. I mean, but. But again, I think I. Not enough people are doing that.

[B]

You really. Some people call it no one wants to work anymore. Am I right?

[D]

I went out to eat the other night and they just are. That everything's slow and everyone has a bad attitude for some reason.

[B]

I don't even understand why everyone's mad all the time. Everyone's always complaining, and I'm just like, these kids don't want to work.

[D]

A lot of the kid. The complaint with the kids, and tell me if you've heard this one, is they can't work enough to pay for the things they need. And I just always go, avocado toast, matcha.

[B]

That's right. The weird thing about it is they're always like, I'm tired. And it's like, yeah, well, that's because you're not you. Because you don't work anymore. These kids don't work anymore.

[D]

I don't work.

[B]

You know, this, that, that.

[D]

No, that's what. No, that's kind of what I was talking about. They are not working and they.

[B]

I need seven hours of sleep every night.

[C]

That drives me crazy.

[D]

Crazy how much they want work more.

[C]

You build up your tolerance and then you don't have to sleep as much.

[D]

Crazy. By the way, what better way to forget about how much you hate your third job than being completely delirious with no idea what's going on.

[B]

Yes, I completely agree.

[D]

It's how you numb yourself to this stuff. But they keep talking about the way that all money's been siphoned to the top and that there's no. There's no help for them or security net and what I always say to that is cool. Can I get more sparkling water?

[C]

Yeah, seriously, if. If that money is not being sectioned up to the top, how would we watch our billion dollar radar stations being blown up all over the.

[D]

And by the way, I mean, I just quickly. And then we'll get into it. Cbs, everyone's all over that. The young. Let me tell you, that's become the best network. I love the pieces.

[C]

Easily.

[D]

Barry Vice is unbelievable.

[B]

Yeah, Barry Vice. Barry Vice.

[D]

I love Barry Vice.

[B]

She is I. I would say like a. A uber mench of the TV news network. And.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, I just. I love the way that they turned the network from, you know, c. CBS into not seeing bs, you know?

[D]

Yes, totally. No, I completely picked up on. No, I completely picked. Well, I completely picked up on everything you just said. And I will also say there's a lot of people who want to call her. You know, she is performing bigotry in ways and that this is all being selected because of the owners of the network. She's married to a woman. Yeah, she is married to a woman.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I know it's really problematic the way that people think that, you know, she's bad when she is one. She is one of the most, I guess, successful famous news people to also be gay. And I feel like when people are gay, then automatically to just be against them is. It's a little suspicious. It's a little suspicious.

[D]

I mean, they are. Yes, they're saying a lot.

[C]

There's always been a saying, gay do no bad. I mean, that's always been a thing.

[B]

Yeah. Are you crazy? You know, Are you crazy?

[D]

You want four pot for one job, all those things. Are you crazed? Whatever it is. Anyway, Matt, we're gonna jump in. It's important to. Well, we have to do the show. I mean, that's a whole. Imagine doing POD yourself and not watching Madman. It would be crazy.

[B]

That's kind of the show.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

We just sometimes just keep talking and we go, oh, timeout. Guess we're not talking about episode this week. And no one cares.

[C]

Yeah, no one cares.

[D]

Matt, what year do you think this paper is from? It can be from any year. I would recommend it being a teen or a two.

[B]

Teen or a two?

[D]

Yeah, like a 19 or an 18 or a 2000. But I. It's up to you. You could do a future guess whatever you want. There's no prize. Let's do this.

[B]

Yeah, you don't win anything either way. You still have to do the rest of the podcast.

[D]

Yeah, A Big part of it is finishing.

[B]

I'm going to say this is from 1928.

[D]

Oh, when things were getting good.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm gonna guess that this paper is. Did you say wrong?

[C]

Yeah, go ahead.

[B]

Well, no, now I want to change.

[C]

No, you're.

[D]

No, he's saying mine's wrong before I even start.

[C]

Okay, go ahead. Say you're dumb.

[D]

1928.

[C]

You're wrong. It's 1924. Matt wins because he said.

[D]

I said the same year.

[C]

You can't do that.

[B]

Yeah, you can't do that. You want to.

[C]

You invalidated your entire guess. That was embarrassing for you. What is going on with you right now?

[D]

I'm drinking a lot more alone.

[B]

That's the best way to do it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that a new tattoo?

[D]

That's cupping.

[C]

No, the inside one.

[B]

Oh, the bug.

[D]

No, that's old.

[B]

That's not old, but it's thing with

[D]

the blood inertia with the blood.

[C]

You got cupping done and.

[D]

Oh, I got setting.

[B]

What do you need the cupping for?

[D]

I have all this. I'm trying to remove my dad fully from me.

[B]

I'll try and get all the blood of your dad out.

[D]

Yeah. Trying to get all the blood memory of my dad and everything like that.

[B]

So change your epigenetics.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. So it's a good way of draining.

[B]

No more trauma.

[D]

Draining. No more trauma. That's over.

[B]

I love that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes I do that. I'm like, take out all of my Jewish and then only leave me with Irish because Irish has nothing but happy history. You guys ever. Why is everyone. Take out all of my Jewish. I say that too.

[C]

I said that's a really good thing to say these days.

[B]

Yeah. Could you please take out all my Jewish.

[D]

It's the most Jewish thing to say.

[C]

Please, doctor, help take out my Jewish.

[B]

Jewish. I need someone who has got like good epigenetics, like the Irish.

[D]

I really have a Google after this. But. But let's.

[B]

Let's go down.

[C]

It hasn't been great. It hasn't been great. I gotta be honest. It hasn't been great.

[B]

I think you gotta reference someone else. The Irish. I'm talking about the Irish. You know,

[D]

that's a cereal.

[C]

There's been some rough times.

[B]

Look at all the beautiful rainbows at the end of it.

[D]

That's the cereal.

[C]

There's been a lot of cereal.

[D]

Basically.

[C]

There's been a lot of. There's a potato situation for a while. It wasn't great.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, we eat potatoes. What are you talking about?

[C]

There was a time when they couldn't eat the potatoes,

[B]

so I don't know. So they ate French fries. I don't know what you're trying to say. I feel like you guys are denigrating the Irish right now. It's super weird. Always had a happy history of being funny and being lucky.

[C]

The people next door. The English took all their food at one point and they all died by the millions.

[B]

I think you're thinking of. You're thinking the Scottish or something. I don't even know. You're thinking someone else. The Irish have always been happy. Look it up.

[D]

Just let him have it. Let him.

[C]

All right, I'll let you.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. We weren't thinking of the other one.

[B]

We're a happy island full of people, fat stomachs because we keep eating all these potatoes. That's all I've ever known. We love it.

[D]

Troubles?

[B]

We had no troubles.

[D]

We agree that that's okay.

[C]

But.

[D]

Yeah, let him. Yeah. So, okay, go ahead with the hurry.

[C]

1824 Second. 1924 24, 5-2-19.

[B]

That's my second.

[C]

Oh,

[B]

oh, look at that.

[D]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[D]

No, no, you're still. The Jewish is still in you. You got to remember that.

[C]

Oh, the Orlando Sentinel, where you're from originally.

[D]

That's cool.

[C]

Are you really from Orlando?

[D]

No.

[B]

Me? No, I'm from Los Angeles.

[C]

Same thing, but also from Ireland.

[D]

Come on.

[B]

Lock in, Los Angeles. Lock in. We're doing it. Orlando Sentinel.

[D]

All right.

[C]

I don't know why when you do that.

[D]

Why don't they call their paper the Orlando Bloom? Go ahead.

[C]

Oh, I don't know why when you do that, when you say you're from Ireland, you do like a Israeli accent though.

[B]

Why?

[D]

Dave, Dave, come on.

[C]

That's.

[B]

I think my. The first of all, they're very similar, we'll all agree. So I can see how you get them confused.

[D]

No. All right. The first article of the Orlando Bloom.

[C]

Will a new party help?

[D]

No, no.

[C]

Always No, I can tell you right now, it's gone great.

[D]

No no knows the answer.

[C]

Will the new political party make America right?

[D]

Well, we don't need a new one to go, right? That's the only way.

[B]

That's One direction, baby. That's the direction about.

[C]

One Direction will be the topic. Will be the topic of a discourse by the Reverend George Badger, pastor of the First Unitarian Church, tomorrow evening at 7:30.

[D]

Oh, boy.

[B]

George Badger. Imagine being a pastor named Badger.

[D]

I'm definitely picturing a badger. And like a, you know, the frock.

[B]

I'm Just picturing just someone yelling at you all the time. I mean, badgering you. That's what I'm thinking. You keep masturbation in public.

[D]

No, no, he's not Irish.

[B]

He's not Irish.

[C]

I think he is.

[D]

He's from Orlando.

[C]

Yeah, no, but they're Irish there, I think.

[D]

Come on, come on, lock in. I need you. Hey, hey. I need you to both lock in.

[C]

Oh, Randro, you didn't even say Orlando. Orlando.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, apostrophe, Orlando. I get it. He gets it.

[D]

All right. And. Okay, let's all. One, two, three, clap. Okay, go ahead.

[C]

In the morning, his topic will be puritans and saints and some other good people.

[D]

Wow, that is a. That's a.

[C]

Like.

[D]

It's like sometimes I look down at my set list. If I'm on stage, I'm like, why did I bring these up here? There's, like, two words written on here. Like, I. I'm not prepared if your

[B]

set list just said, you know, like, you know, old man. These are. This is like my set list. It says, like a fish sucking my own dick. And then it says, and other good jokes that everyone will like.

[D]

And other good jokes and other killer bits.

[B]

And other. Crush

[D]

a fish. Suck my own dick.

[B]

My fish suck my own dick. You know, I'll be crushing more bangers. More bangers.

[C]

Ms. William Cole will sing at both services, and all interested are cordially welcome.

[D]

Oh, that's nice.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

But by the way, that's not what they mean. There are so many people that would not be allowed in.

[B]

Well, they. Well, now you're kind of stretching the definition of the word people.

[D]

You know, what they do in 1924. You're right.

[B]

It's very specific.

[D]

Sorry, we tried to be very clear. No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Look at the sign.

[D]

Sorry. I think you'll notice all the caveat signs around here. Yeah, we've been quite clear, people.

[B]

Ah.

[D]

Like this white lady, although she is a lady.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Sahara film. Promise, Numerous thrills. I'm gonna show you the headline. Just.

[B]

That's a. This is a different art.

[D]

It is Sahara film. Yes. Yeah. It is just a typo. Promise. It should say promise.

[C]

No, it's not a typo.

[D]

Sahara film. Promise, Numerous thrills. There's many typos.

[C]

Numerous.

[D]

Yeah, I know, but it's spelled.

[C]

Promise is spelled P R, P R O M I, E S. And numerous is spelled N U M R O U S numris. Okay.

[B]

I'm. Now I'm fascinated to know if they correct the typo or if that's the name of the movie.

[D]

Now that I've got your attention, let me tell you about.

[C]

Then they just go into the story. A son of the Sahara, first national picture produced in Algeria with Bert Lytle and Claire Windsor in the leading roles, is undoubtedly the most elaborate desert romance

[D]

ever filmed in 1924. That's not really a huge credit. It's really not by far the most impressive Sahara love story we've seen to date. Film's been around for four years.

[B]

Yeah, they just invented it. I love that though. They're already. They're already hyping up things like there was already a Peter Traverse in 1924

[D]

going little stuns in one of three

[B]

films created run, don't walk to your nearest nickelodeon.

[D]

How funny is it that we all just know Peter Travers for just loving getting in previews when we were like, when they used to do that, like, Peter Travers would be like, get a grip. A good grip on the iron grip.

[B]

What an amazing career he's had as being someone who is a household name because he loves all movies.

[D]

He liked everything.

[B]

He likes everything.

[D]

Everything. Man in Black too. Better than the original Peter Travers. Why don't you send it to Peter and we'll just put that in the preview.

[B]

Yeah, just some of the. The quotes would be like. Yep, sure. You don't even know. He has not seen the movie. He just wants his name in the goddamn for the Matrix.

[D]

And then he sees your movie and he doesn't like it. What?

[B]

This is possible? Yeah. What the hell? He loves everything.

[D]

It wasn't good.

[C]

Okay, so the guy who said it's the most elaborate desert romance ever filmed is Edwin Carwy, the director, who is in New York preparing the print for release. All right, so the guy, the guy who made it.

[B]

The guy who made it.

[C]

It's the greatest movie ever.

[D]

I, I will say when you go through a process like that, at the end there's sometimes you don't like them because it's so I think that's actually even a harder film for Henry critique. Therefore, I believe that is a very. That that accolade higher than most.

[B]

That's how you know it's going to be even better than you can possibly imagine.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Also, it filmed in Algeria. You know, I feel like we're touching on a lot of places that have had nothing but happy histories.

[D]

Yeah, no, absolutely.

[B]

That's great. Love Algeria. Everyone there's happy and nothing bad ever happened. That's right.

[C]

Mr. Carwy points out that the following went into the making of the picture. 12, 500 Arabs.

[D]

All right, well, comedy's probably gonna pump the brakes a little bit now.

[B]

A lot went into this. A lot of Arabs. Oh, so this Wells guy is making Citizen King. Tell me, how many Arabs you got in Citizen Cave? Oh, nice.

[D]

Well, I'm gonna do you about 12,500. Better.

[C]

8,000 camels.

[D]

I have an issue with this list. I have an issue with this list.

[C]

I gotta say, it's nice that they did the people first at least.

[B]

Yeah. This many Arabs, this many camels, and this many craft services tables for the camels. Of course.

[C]

2, 500 horses.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

That's a very strange.

[C]

That's a lot of camels and horses. That's a lot of.

[D]

It is. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

And Spa Hill Cavalry of the French government.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good government.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Great, great. To Algeria.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're best friends.

[C]

They saved it.

[D]

Yeah, they saved it.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[D]

Well, they kind of bar rescued it. Yeah, I always view that one as a bar rescue.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's what we're doing to Iran.

[D]

Yeah. No, and Ecuador. Look, if you got oil, let us come in and fix it.

[B]

Yeah, we can bar rescue all your countries.

[D]

We're gonna. We're gonna. Just let us come in. We're gonna Kitchen Nightmares bar Rescue.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

Restaurant 91 1. Just let us give you a couple.

[B]

Queer Eye. Well, Queer Eye.

[D]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

The Vice Bay. The Berry Vice Fay.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Very vice.

[D]

Very vice.

[B]

Very vice.

[D]

Commandor Vice.

[B]

Gareth.

[C]

The CE.com dollop for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com dollop so our researcher Preston looked up movie reviews.

[D]

Oh, they had those back then.

[B]

That's crazy.

[D]

It's. It's Bob Travers.

[B]

Like, it's amazing to me that they had movie reviews that weren't all just. I can't believe this technology exists.

[D]

Wow. Seeking words to mouths and color. You've gotta get out. And check this one.

[B]

Most reviews were just a series of elongated screams.

[D]

Oh, my God. We live in the future.

[B]

I'm inside of algae area. That's a lot of Arabs.

[D]

Help. Update. I was allowed to leave an hour and a half later.

[C]

This is from Wikipedia of the Shrek films of the 1920s. The plot of A Son of the Sahara was among the more racist in that. Barbara.

[D]

Well, you know, I had a feeling.

[B]

Time.

[C]

Can you imagine being one of the most racist movies of the 1920s. 20s?

[D]

That is. I mean, that is unfucking real.

[C]

Sounds like it had to be a snuff film.

[B]

It was kind of racist for us.

[D]

Jesus, on a scale of 1 to birth of a nation, where are you ranking?

[C]

Barbara, the European woman completely rejects any romantic interest in Raul until the very end of the film, whereas established that he lacks any Arab ancestry and if he's fully French.

[D]

I'm sorry, I believe the review is racist.

[C]

No, but he's pointing out.

[D]

Say it again.

[C]

Barbara, the European woman completely rejects any romantic interest in Raul until the end of the film where it is established he lacks any Arab ancestry and is fully French.

[D]

So once he. Once it's revealed to be French, she's attractive.

[C]

I could love you.

[D]

Now make that 12. 499 Arabs.

[B]

It's crazy. It turns out 1924, this review is the first time cancel culture was invented. Am I right, guys?

[D]

Totally did.

[B]

Oh, wow. Cancel me for something we all know is true, that as soon as you find out that someone has 100% French ancestry, you want to them.

[D]

Well, yeah, I.

[B]

Well, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's sort of.

[B]

The Jewish speaking out of me. No, I can say this now.

[C]

We said before we started, please don't do your mothership set on the podcast.

[B]

I feel like more people need to hear it. Okay. Just as long as Austin getting all of the pearls.

[D]

Matt, I feel like the more that you keep doing that thing about getting the Jewish out is it's not great. So I would.

[B]

I think it's.

[D]

Don't do the Irish stuff, but now

[B]

that it's out, I think it is great. You know what I mean? We need to, you know.

[D]

Guys, stop, please. It's just.

[B]

Pay no attention to this Barack Obama poster behind me in this room, by the way.

[D]

So you bring that from home, huh?

[B]

I bring it. I just. Yeah. And the little TV that's mounted on the wall. Wall. Look how little that TV is. That is so small.

[D]

What's the point of it?

[B]

I don't know. You know, it's just one of those things that every time I stay here, I'm just like, they mounted this one, huh? I feel like it looks like they mounted an iPad. Really missing out on the funniest visual gag ever. This is the smallest TV it mounted in the universe. That's not.

[C]

It's like a computer screen.

[D]

The Barack Obama poster is eight times the size of the tv. I mean, it looks like they mounted a phone to the wall and they'.

[C]

Like.

[D]

And that's where we go for entertainment. Welcome to the theater.

[B]

If you want to watch something really good, you got to stand real close.

[D]

Anyways, congratulations. I don't remember.

[C]

There are no copies of A Son of Sahara located in any film archives. It's a lost film. But a trailer of the film survives in the Library of Congress, and that's

[D]

where you want to end up. Peter, Trevor.

[C]

They'll bring it back.

[D]

A phenomenal story with a twist.

[C]

You're not going to believe Steve Bannon' gonna remake this.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

100%. We're all gonna.

[C]

Have you ever heard about the Steve Bannon house in Florida?

[B]

You.

[D]

I've seen with the Florida was a Steve Bannon house.

[C]

But he. He had. He apparently had this house. It was just horrifying and just. People like orgies all the time.

[D]

And at one point.

[C]

At one point, they. Or my liver spot, after he moved out, they found that, like, there was all this acid had been used in the bathtub.

[B]

Oh, I did hear that.

[C]

Creepy up, like.

[B]

Yeah, they were dissolving something in the tub at one point. Yeah, yeah, I heard about that. Well, that.

[D]

That's. Sorry. Well, that sounds okay. Maybe he was getting the Jewish out, Matt. Everything.

[B]

He was probably was cupping out all the Jewish blood, so he's left with pure Irish.

[C]

Oh, that's possible.

[B]

He is Irish.

[D]

Wasn't always.

[B]

Wasn't always got those cups.

[C]

He looks like everybody's gay aunt.

[D]

You know what he looks like?

[B]

He looks like the. You guys ever see those Mucinex commercials?

[C]

Oh, he does.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

He looks like the mucus from the Mucinex commercial. But, like, in human form.

[D]

That's very true. They should never do the voice. Yeah, yeah. D.J. miller did the voice, and then all that stuff happened, and then they dropped him, which. Yeah, it's tough when it's not like you're not our brand.

[C]

He's back, though. He's doing clubs.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I think you guys are confusing him. TJ Miller has nothing but a great history, just like the Irish people. Matt. What?

[D]

Come on. It's a slippery slope. Let's. Let's lock in.

[B]

Okay, bud, we're locking in. Okay. Some jokes. No problems here. Sorry.

[D]

Your Irish is dangerously close to a Jamaican, so I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna warn you right there last time, South African.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

There is apparently some sort of connection between the accents.

[D]

No? There is. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

That's awesome.

[D]

You got.

[B]

From two uncolonized happy lands. That's the accent of a perfect epigenetic history.

[D]

Again, we'll. Let's finish the app and then we'll sidebar into some of this stuff. Okay.

[B]

Okay, let's do it. I'm ready. I'm ready.

[D]

All right. Yeah. We'll do a bad sidebar.

[B]

Oh, wow. That's really a good name for a podcast.

[C]

President unable to attend the Apple Blossom Festival.

[D]

Fuck. Fuck.

[B]

He's always doing this to us. What is this? Harding?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

No, 24. So it's before Harding, not Coolidge. Coolidge is after Coolidge. It was cool. All right.

[C]

It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Announcement was made at the White House tonight that President Coolidge had been compelled by pressure of other affairs to decline the invitation extended him by Senator Glass and a delegation from Winchester, Virginia, to attend the first annual Shenandoah Apple Blossom Festival Saturday.

[D]

Wait a minute. This. I didn't realize it was the first one. Yeah, like, I felt like this was like a 50 year. Like the pardoning, the turkey tradition. He just didn't go to a thing.

[C]

Yeah, it could be the last one too, because of that.

[D]

Well, I mean it now. Coolidge. I just. For those who are listening, who don't know, what was Coolidge's deal?

[B]

Teapot Dome scandal. Was that him? Was he Teapot Dome?

[C]

That was harder.

[D]

That's what they called it when Churchill got a blowjob.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

Not a lot of people know that.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

I don't remember what Coolidge is known for. Those guys kind of blur together in that time.

[B]

He had some sort of. Oil scandals.

[C]

I was gonna say there's a lot of racism then. A lot of racism. That was really coming up.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You can imagine. We got a white period where raising racism.

[D]

It is remarkable to think that we do just work in the hundred year cycle because of racism. Well, not only racism, but like the gilded. Like we are in that Gilded Age now and the racism is out of control. And. And it's like it's almost a year to year replica. Like, how long until we can't drink?

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Or no, it's how. No, they're stopping weed. That's what they're trying to stop. Oh, so we drink. Dave's doing duolingo.

[C]

Oh, no. I had to send my kid money.

[D]

Oh. Do you mind if Dave does a little duolingo while we do this?

[B]

Man, that's fine. You learn a language. But if you could also send me money.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that.

[C]

No, I don't send money to Irish people.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Well, it's. That's the first time I've ever experienced racism. That's right there. I've never experienced anything like that before. And now I feel it in me bones.

[D]

It's Yeah. I will say less Jamaican. No, Yeah. I am saying. I am saying it. I am saying it to your face. I don't think it's. It's not the right one to do. Okay. And they've had a bad history.

[B]

I don't think that's true.

[D]

It is. What do you got?

[C]

Okay. Coolidge was known for his laissez faire economics, presiding over the roaring 1920s prosperity. He advocated for tax cuts, reduced federal spending, minimal business regulation. So he is basically.

[D]

He's.

[C]

The collapse led to the Great Depression.

[D]

He's the collapser. And that. But it wasn't. Did he run. Who ran against FDR then?

[B]

Herbert Hoover the first time.

[D]

Yeah, Hoover. Yeah, it's Hoover. And then Hoover's the one who's going like, I don't think the government should step in.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Hoover's about to be president after this and be like, now, let's really it up. And then. Yeah. And then it's just.

[D]

I don't think the government's role is to help.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

And I agree.

[B]

I agree. I feel like government's role is just to, like, sit back and take it. If not leave things just alone and just let people be, you know, free. It's to, you know, murder people.

[D]

Yeah. And I think what, government is the problem. Yes.

[B]

Yes. Unless they're murdering the right people.

[D]

Yeah. Now that.

[C]

Now that. Yes.

[D]

Has a nice ring to it.

[B]

Yes, it does.

[D]

Yes. We're in Trump's middle term. For those of you listening from the future,

[C]

that's going great.

[B]

Right in the thick of it.

[D]

We're right in the thick of this. We're in his middle term.

[C]

Russian explorers. So the Russians are going to make a dash for the North Pole this year.

[D]

Now, that accent you can do.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, it's me, Vladimir.

[B]

No, I'm here in Russia.

[D]

No, I don't feel like.

[C]

That's not great.

[B]

Too Israeli.

[D]

Oh, my God. Matt, please, I.

[B]

No, I want to hear this story. Tell me about the Russians who are going to the North Pole. Okay.

[D]

We will kill him.

[C]

Santa's done an aviator named Rosinski, which sounds like a good red name.

[B]

They wrote that.

[D]

Yeah. I hope Dave's not riffing.

[B]

Sounds a little bit Communist to me. With the Jewish connotations and the Irish connotations. That's amazing.

[C]

Plans to take a few mechanicians and scientists in a specially constructed plane, a combination of flying boat and hydroplane, and has no doubt of his success.

[D]

What?

[C]

This guy definitely died.

[D]

It sounds like a. Like a hovercraft.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is this an atv? This is crazy.

[D]

Yeah,

[C]

this is a.

[D]

Well, it is altering blimp.

[C]

This is a. This is a welcome variation in Russian activities.

[D]

What the man.

[B]

A welcome variation.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah. Yes. Because it's not poisoning people. I guess.

[B]

I guess. Yeah.

[D]

Or try to giving people work.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Russian. Russian explorers in late years have been confined too much to economics and politics.

[D]

Jesus Christ. This is the paper. I'll get to the story soon, but quickly. A brief history of hatred.

[B]

This. All. This sounds very coded. Like, are they. When they say Russian feels like air quotes. Russian. This is about Jews 100%. This is an anti Semitic article about like, oh, the Jews have decided to do something a little bit more fun as opposed to all that politicking and economic. That's wild.

[D]

Butting in, you know,

[B]

trying to butt in on the white man's games.

[D]

Yeah, Nice try.

[C]

And to tell the truth, the explorers in those fields have been very much of the Dr. Cook type. No idea.

[D]

Okay. It's a confusing name for a chef.

[C]

But that need not be considered a bad omen. Much will be forgotten and forgiven if the Bolshevists now prove their red blood and scientific prowess in the international sport of polar dashing.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

If they win, nobody will grudge them the victory.

[D]

Yeah. Definitely not this guy.

[C]

No. No way would we grudge them.

[D]

I'll give them their flowers.

[C]

Why not? A few other diversions this year to distract attention from the economic failures of Moscow and bid for the world's goodwill.

[D]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

Reading Western media at this time. They are so pissed because I know, literally Russians just got done with a civil war and. And they're just like, you know, why don't you guys take a little break from your failed policies? It's like, what of having to fight a war that you guys have been funding against the. Against the Bolsheviks. Like, that is wild. He's bitter ass sore losers.

[D]

There's always a Matt Walsh.

[B]

Always, always.

[C]

The best strategy for the Soviet government and people in their slow and painful transition from.

[D]

This will be great. Here's an idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Remove head from ass. See step two for more. Step two. Repeat step one.

[C]

From pure.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

From pure socialist theory to the hard fact of a world of business methods based on private enterprise.

[B]

So.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

So I gotta read this again because that's incredible.

[D]

This Recommendation.

[C]

This is 1924.

[D]

We should dig up this writer. Just to beat them with shovels.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

What are you doing?

[B]

Oh, that's great.

[C]

The best strategy for the government and people in their slow and painful transition from pure Socialist theory to the hard fact of a world of business methods based on private enterprise and property is to branch out into all sorts of civilized activities and let up on Soviet propaganda.

[D]

That might be the worst. Outside of blatant racism. That might be the wor. Worst economic statement we've ever read on this paper.

[B]

I like is.

[D]

It's on the show.

[B]

It's cope too. This is like. This is. This is like when it became abundantly clear that Zoran Mandani was going to win and be the mayor, when people were just started, they gave up trying to smear him. They were like, just drop out, loser. Just drop. Nobody likes you. It's like, damn, you all have nothing at this point.

[D]

The.

[B]

The Russian revolution has happened. The Bolsheviks have, you know, beaten the whites and the civil war is over. And he's like, all right, well, now that you guys have taken a break from all that murdering each other, have you considered the capitalist form of economy? Because it is a superior form.

[D]

There's no downside.

[B]

There's.

[C]

It's like what they're doing to Platinum right now, he gets way up in the polls and they're like, well, you suck.

[B]

That's right. They're like, just drop out.

[C]

Yeah, just. You should le. Leave the race.

[D]

And then if you say that about Schumer, they're like, shut the fuck up. Anti Semitic mouth about this young, virile man. Chuck Schumer's pants are higher than anyone else.

[B]

Right, it's his turn. Chuck Schumer doesn't owe you anything.

[D]

Chuck Schumer's waited 92 years for this

[B]

moment to bomb Iran and kind of

[D]

not know what to say about it

[B]

really, other than trying to rain on his blood parade.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, here's a good one. The Roth's child servants.

[D]

Holy.

[B]

This will be good and fun.

[C]

Pity the poor Rothschilds of Vienna, they are being taxed out of house and home.

[D]

Oh my God. This. This is absolutely nuts.

[C]

The latest and most intolerable in position of a socialistic government is a tax on servants that cost the Rothschild family 72, 000 a year.

[B]

Oh, my God. You.

[D]

This is just. This is an upsetting one.

[C]

Why do you have so many servants? I guess is the question I.

[D]

Who's going to baptize us in champagne? Mumsy?

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean. Oh, so now you want to tax. I sometimes kill for fun. Is that what you're going to do? Is that what we're doing?

[D]

Father can't do manual work. His hands are for phrenology.

[B]

He's got soft. He'll get callous and not be able to soft hands.

[D]

23 and me a skull.

[C]

This is.

[B]

I love. This is a very funny perspective for 1924 where someone is just like oh, I have to choose now between blaming the Jewish Bolshevism for taxes. But also defending a famous Jewish capitalist. I don't know what to do.

[D]

And we still struggle with things like this. The line is still quite difficult.

[B]

Dogs.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That's a alpha.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm here with these dogs who they don't know when it's to shut up.

[C]

Up.

[D]

That's my.

[C]

Get him.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Can you believe they want to tax these guys?

[D]

No. It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. They want to tax these things that I yell at. I feel like a Roth child.

[D]

Yeah. Now you know what it's like. Crazy dude.

[C]

Yeah. America doesn't know what taxes are. Austria. It develops is so heartless as to tax motor cars at $500 a piece.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

And household servants still hire on the ground. They are luxuries. That is. They are luxuries.

[D]

Crazy.

[B]

They.

[D]

Are you kidding?

[B]

No. I think that's a. That's a right. That's a human right.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

What am I to cook my own foods, prepare my own beds, bathe my own balls and ass?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

My Lord.

[C]

What kind of job you got over there at the Rothschilds? What do you.

[B]

What do you.

[D]

I do butt and balls.

[B]

Oh, I'm a human slipper.

[C]

What is that one again?

[B]

They cut a hole in my stomach and they just kind of put their foot in me and they walk and walk whenever there's gravel. It's a living. They want to charge me double for my human slippers.

[D]

Are you crazy?

[C]

You craze.

[D]

Oh, that's funny.

[C]

It was bad enough last year when the Rothschilds family paid 14,000 tax on its 61 servants. That drove home the need of economy. But the poor Rothschilds found they couldn't possibly get the housework done with any less than 47.

[D]

What paper.

[C]

How are they supposed to get done what needs to be done with under service.

[D]

That is fun. It's so.

[C]

Think about it.

[D]

They still do this. Jeff Bezos donated $120,000 thousand dollars to the victims of the North Carolina storms. Yeah. So he's.

[B]

Now you want to charge him 5% tax on anything over a billion. What are you trying to kill this man? He invented overnight shipping.

[D]

He's married to the world's first frickin Martian.

[B]

He was the first guy who. Who industrialized the manufacture of human slippers can have a slipper made of human flesh.

[D]

The guy who invented factory floors with no toilets. Tax that guy.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[D]

Come on.

[C]

And for that, a modest aggregation of hired help, they are obliged in additional, in addition to wages and victuals, to pay a head tax 700% higher than last year. It is unsupportable.

[B]

It's. I can't tell. Is this written sarcastically?

[C]

No.

[D]

That's crazy.

[C]

No. This is absolutely not.

[B]

So.

[D]

I. I don't know if an article for 100 years ago has ever made me angrier. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you know what's crazy, too, is we're in the middle of the Roaring Twenties. Shit is like going great.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

For, you know, in terms of, you know, for the rich in America, they just keep getting richer and richer and richer. Everything is getting more and more corrupt. It's literally exactly where we are now.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And so this attitude, which once, you know, when I. Because you read like this now and you'll be like, oh, man, this is. They're 100 serious at this point. I want to believe that they're like that they know they're doing great Depression coming.

[D]

No, they don't know know.

[B]

They don't know.

[D]

That's what's so incredible.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

It's just. It is. It is crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Because it's the same thing. You see it in, like, the Atlantic or like the Washington, where it'll just be like. I mean, we are living the meme now of the. What is that you built a country around our military base. I mean, the. The level.

[B]

Right.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Hubris and the confidence. Confidence. They feel that they're just like that this is going to work.

[B]

Work. Completely removed from even the idea that irony exists and like.

[D]

Or.

[B]

Or that in any way this can be read as sarcasm or not serious. Just being so dead serious about it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Yet the laying of such burdens on harassed European millionaires may not be altogether evil. If it takes 47 servants to run the Rothschild's family, the family might move into a smaller house.

[D]

Matt is home alone. In his face. He's so.

[B]

I'm like, going crazy. I'm going crazy.

[C]

You go crazy and worry along with you.

[B]

Get for pay me first for him.

[D]

It's just in a padded room.

[B]

Maybe I should go to them. Go me. Huh? They gonna pay me, huh?

[D]

Matt. Matt, we got your macaroni, buddy. There you go. Have some slurry.

[B]

Inject a slurry into my gullet

[C]

and let the rest engage in productive industry instead of unproductive personal service. Or the families might adapt to the American substitutes for hired help and install mechanical services of labor saving machinery.

[D]

I feel like this to aggravate us

[C]

does not eat or waste, occupies little room and benefits American manufacturers. Yes, it is time for the robots machine revolution. I like how people think that robots are going to be anything other than two things. They are going to be murder machines and things. You. That's all that's going to happen with them.

[B]

And sometimes both.

[D]

Sometimes one after the other.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's great. I mean, listen, I think, I mean I think we can all agree the robot is a great idea. I, I do.

[D]

I wanna to see where it goes. But I'm very open.

[B]

I'm very open to the idea. The problem is that they're going to take that robot and they're going to mount a gun on its hands.

[D]

Yeah, that's an issue for me.

[B]

And now we've got a problem, you

[D]

know, and that issue for me is how much bringing a gun in the bedroom makes me come and then how quickly that thing's going to be able to take me. Because danger. I come from a gun after I come from gun sex. I'm knocked out.

[C]

See, I'm. I'm gonna make my robot become a mass and send it out to do mass.

[B]

Oh man.

[D]

Also, by the way, I like, sometimes I like to get shot in the orifice.

[B]

Oh, and the dick.

[D]

Just the grays.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

How does anyone graze your. Will you please just do the physics?

[D]

There's over five women who could give you a handbook on that window. I'll tell you how you can just graze mine.

[B]

Level over five.

[D]

Over five. By the by, less is more than six. No, more than six and over five. And the number is like right in between.

[C]

Children of the Confederacy, enjoy egg hunt.

[D]

Man. I, I literally think this is. Preston is rage baiting us with this figure. I'm still not recovered from the last two. And like don't worry, the clan has found eggs on lawn.

[B]

You have to remember this is a Florida paper and Florida stays Florida no matter what time period.

[D]

That was good. I needed that. I needed that. That I needed.

[B]

It's all the same. It's always.

[C]

Isn't it weird to think though that like it wasn't that long ago that like Florida was, was like, oh, it could go Democrat this year. Like it was, it was like, oh, that was.

[B]

Yeah, that was a. That was a. Yeah, there was a time. Remember?

[C]

That wasn't a long time ago. It wasn't that Long.

[B]

But that's because it was at a time when the, you know, the Democrats had people like Clinton who were essentially Republicans.

[C]

Yeah, right, right.

[B]

And he was doing Florida in the office, like getting his dick sucked and you know.

[D]

Yeah. Tasting cigar with.

[B]

Killing Vince Foster. Just kidding.

[C]

He didn't do that. He didn't do. Jesus Christ. His wife did that.

[B]

Yeah. Everyone knows.

[D]

Focus. He came, he saw, he died.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

At the. At the home of Mrs. F.L. ael, the children of the Confederacy of Duncan Peter chapter spent a delightful time hunting easter eggs. At 5 o' clock Friday afternoon.

[B]

Little Agnes, I know it's called an Easter egg hunt, but there is something about when you say Confederate children as sort of like the qualifier of type, it's just immediately it feels more racist.

[D]

Oh, I completely agree.

[B]

Just the Confederate children are hunting something.

[D]

But this time, remember, only pick up the white eggs.

[C]

These eggs. We did not dye our eggs.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

No, no, no, honey, don't put that one down. That's a brownie.

[B]

There be no eggs of color here in Florida.

[D]

Now I just come to my attention that someone had put a colored egg out on.

[B]

Y' all like color eggs here.

[D]

Oh, no, that's no problem. If y' all like eating them, y' all may have them. But I like my eggs like everything else. What? And by the way, I don't even eat the yellow part. I only eat the pot around it, the viscous fluid.

[B]

We like white. And that's all we like here. Well, adoro, forget.

[D]

But don't forget, brother, when you cook it, it becomes white.

[B]

That's right. More white than usual.

[D]

Yes, exceptionally.

[B]

None of that pepper. We don't put no pepper, just white salt on it.

[D]

Pepper get in the way of that salt.

[B]

I don't know what accent. Just I don't know the accent. Little alligator fanboat.

[D]

Now hold up, brother, please stop talking. Your accent has become a. A bit strange.

[B]

I don't think it is.

[D]

No, I don't know where you're from. Brother, please.

[B]

Where you're from is a normal guy from the South. I don't think you are here. We like to have white eggs, not a big city brown egg. Yeah, organic, cage free. We put our eggs in a cage if they're brown.

[D]

Now, brother, please, you're getting into some very problematic territory now.

[B]

I'm going full on the character now we're doing Matthew.

[D]

Guys, but your accent has gone in a strange direction.

[B]

I don't think you're no longer. What? Who the was that?

[D]

I've been trying to Keep you two away from each other for quite a while.

[B]

Who's this guy?

[D]

I kind of like this guy.

[B]

Seems fun.

[C]

Little Agnes Zel found the most eggs and Mary and Hester the next highest in number, while Madge Moat decided that good luck was not with her that afternoon.

[D]

Matt. Well, you named it Madge? Hey, Papa. I had trouble finding some of the eggs, so I ate a rock.

[B]

Why'd you name me Madge?

[D]

Why'd you name me Madge?

[B]

You came out of your mother's vag and I couldn't. Didn't want to think of another word.

[D]

So it changed.

[B]

You were an afterthought.

[C]

Each of these received appropriate Easter favors, which were presented by Ms. Martha Johnson, President of the chapter. After the egg hunt, they went into the house where music and songs were enjoyed for a time. Then all gathered around the dining table where the fruit punch and Easter eggs were served.

[D]

They served the Easter eggs. I've never heard of that. That's. That's very strange.

[B]

Wait, they actually ate the eggs?

[D]

What is the actual, like, the mechanics of how the. You've got.

[B]

You hard boil them.

[D]

Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh, that's a delicious way to eat them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I. I assume these were because they're called Children of the Confederacy. I assume that these are the kids of the Daughters of the Confederacy who are one of the architects of our absolute nightmarish country.

[B]

Country. Oh.

[D]

Getting a little political for some reason.

[B]

I don't know why we got political all of a sudden.

[D]

Yeah. If we could just kind of. We're having fun with the Easter egg thing, so.

[B]

Right. It's kind of weird.

[D]

I. I think we all look back on the Civil War and just kind of go, hey, you know, two sides had great points and one just won by a hair.

[B]

And everyone, honestly, everyone is like, tired of even thinking about it.

[D]

The whole thing with politics now, it's like, let's.

[C]

I wanna. I wanna rip Ben Shapiro's eyebrows off with my teeth.

[B]

Yeah, but that's apolitical.

[D]

Dave, if you. Dave, if you were to do that, it would be the only time my wife had come by doing something like that. My wife's might actually get wet for the first time ever. And that might be shocking thing for her to do. I've been trying to tell her that that spot is supposed to remain dry. The only hole that's supposed to get wet is the one that the urine comes out of. Good Lord,

[B]

I did not know you could do a perfect Ben Shapiro. Look at that.

[C]

Crazy, right?

[B]

Look at that. It's wild.

[C]

It's great.

[B]

It's great. Can you say big fatty jugs in his voice? Just right.

[D]

It's coming over here with, you know, big fatty jugs. Give me another one. This game's fun.

[B]

Can you say dump them out hoe

[D]

or something along the. Or illogically like dump them out hoe.

[C]

It's very good.

[B]

It's very good.

[C]

You know, you had this.

[D]

I've done it. I've done that on the show once before.

[C]

I guess I don't listen to you.

[D]

Yeah. You know. Yeah. Impossible. Wow. I've come two times and I've had two children out of it.

[B]

It's really good.

[D]

At one time, I accidentally spilled my seed and tried to get my urethra to suck it back in.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

That was a bit.

[D]

It was like my. My penis was, you know, in Studio 54, just sucking Coke and to. Feels like I've lost the room a little bit, but I.

[B]

And I just. I'm tired of it.

[D]

Well, man is a completely abandoned Jewish nature on this episode.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Is he Craze. One more, David.

[C]

Yeah, we'll do one more.

[B]

When you say David, I think that's. Oh, one more, David.

[D]

Should we do one more of these quickly? Yeah.

[C]

Black cat brings players bad luck.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[C]

A black cat walked across the stage the first day of production on the white moth. A first.

[D]

All right. It's impossible to ignore the racial black cat. I was letting it fly.

[B]

But now that it's a white moth involved. Black ruins white always Every story. Yep. And you chose these, David.

[C]

No, I didn't.

[B]

Yes, you did.

[C]

No, I didn't.

[D]

Yeah, I don't choose. Yes, you did.

[C]

Okay, if you said it a bunch weirdly, then yes, you did. Because I feel like I might get murdered if you. I don't say that. I did. So, yeah, okay. Okay, I did. Yes. Hey, Matt, you're kind of stuck on a repeat situation.

[D]

The audio is not really loud, so it's just. If you want to say it, say it, but don't kind of whisper it.

[C]

Yeah, I think your mic's. I think your mic is stuck on a very uncomfortable setting.

[D]

What if Blood diamond had just been playing on that tiny TV the whole time?

[B]

It's a very tiny blood diamond.

[D]

We start realizing Matt's, like, out of his mind.

[B]

Like, I've just been watching it through

[D]

the webcam since the last time you were here.

[C]

A first. A first national picture now in the making in Los Angeles. None of the cast is superstitious, but. But Barbara Lamar sprained. Her knee while doing the dance of the white moth.

[D]

That sounds like an actor's warm up phrase.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Say it again.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Barbara Lamar sprained her leg.

[C]

Sprained her knee while doing the dance of the white moth.

[D]

Barbara Lamar sprained her knee while doing the dance of the white moth. Barbara Lamar sprained her knee while doing the dance of the white moth. Moth out of the battle.

[B]

Yeah. Sounds like you're trying to teach a cockney British lady to speak American.

[D]

Barbara Lamar.

[B]

The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plane. Now do it.

[D]

Barbara Lamar.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Barbara Conway Turl, her leading man, sprained his wrist when he hit Ben Lyon. In that kind of a scene.

[D]

This is.

[B]

Oh, Turl hit lion.

[D]

There's your head lion.

[B]

Yeah. There's your headline there.

[C]

Ben Lyon burned his fingers when a box of matches flamed up as he lit one.

[D]

I don't really understand what's happening anymore. I'll be talking.

[C]

This is the.

[B]

He's saying all this bad luck that happened due to the cat being black.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, I forgot. All right, we're back.

[C]

Ms. Lamar's dress caught fire when wires used in its construction came in contact with an electric switch.

[B]

Well, okay. That could have that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like that had nothing to do with the cat.

[D]

Everything else, maybe that one felt self owned.

[B]

Yeah, you could. You were putting your. Your wire dress near outlets. Don't do that.

[D]

Supposed to do that.

[B]

Cat's fault, though.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Maurice Tournier, director, burned his hands putting the fire out.

[B]

Out.

[D]

That feels like. That's one.

[C]

Yeah. So don't put out the fire with your hands.

[D]

Same one. Yeah, that's the same one. Yeah, that's. Oh, my God. Why did I try to do that? It's a cat.

[B]

These guys just really want to kill that cat.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

This is. All of this is laying the groundwork to kill it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There's even a new honor about it.

[D]

We had to kill.

[C]

We have to kill a cat every

[D]

day of production and we had to eat a tart.

[B]

That's right. You want this play to go off well or not?

[D]

You know, it's up to you.

[B]

I guess you don't like art. If you won't let me drown this cat, fine.

[C]

Wow. Okay, fine. Studio head. He doesn't care.

[D]

All right.

[C]

Josie Sedgwick caught a severe cold when her flimsy costume was accidentally soaked with water.

[B]

Okay, now that's not how colds happen. They just want this cat that dead.

[C]

No, this is clearly black cat stuff.

[D]

It feels like a lot of this stuff could have been Avoided with a little bit of.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Like not letting the cat on the set.

[D]

Well, even after that.

[B]

Or killing the cat earlier.

[D]

Oh my God. This bat just went into my balls. That cat. I just hit this bat right into my balls two times. It's that black cat. Did it touch that moth?

[C]

And something went wrong. When Arthur Todd, cameraman turned the crank. 200ft of film buckled and spoiled and two long scenes had to be retaken.

[D]

That. That guy was so thankful that the cat was there.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Christ. You ruined all that foot. The cat.

[C]

It's the cat.

[B]

All of the evidence of the series of disasters that we are using the justify cat murder just disappeared. How convenient.

[D]

And guess who we blame for that.

[B]

The cat. Gotta kill him.

[C]

Gotta kill the cat.

[B]

Gotta kill him.

[D]

You. I don't know, Matt. You're so goddamn funny. All right, so people should listen to Pod yourself listen to Bad Hasbara. Where. Where can people find your road dates?

[B]

You can usually I post them on. On Instagram sometimes the. By the time. By the time you listen to this, you will. I will have already left San Francisco, I assume. But yeah, go follow me at matliebjokes on Instagram. I'm. I'm there and I'm usually posting my dates and you know, and you're always

[D]

ranting and raving and you're hilarious and your stand up is great. So people love you. And, and Dave and I are almost there. We're getting close. I like you.

[B]

You guys like my wife.

[D]

We love you.

[B]

Stay away from my wife.

[D]

The dogs, man. Think of the dogs.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

Sorry.

[D]

Matt. Before we go, let's just hear one more time. If they took all the. The Jewish out doesn't feel.

[B]

Oh, all the Jewish is out of me body. Is that what you're asking for? Is that what you want me to do? You me do an Irish accent? Am I just a dancing monkey to you?

[D]

No, I just. No, you did it like 30 times.

[B]

I. I was. I'm just some guy who does gags. I actually have lots of opinions about things. Follow me on Instagram for more.

[D]

Happy it left Ireland again. Thank you, man.

[B]

We love Ireland.

[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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