169 - The Past Times with Corey Ryan Forrester

Summary

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The Dollop – Episode 169: The Past Times with Corey Ryan Forrester

Date: April 11, 2026 | Host: All Things Comedy
Guests: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Corey Ryan Forrester

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Overview

In this raucous, free-wheeling episode, comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by fan-favorite Corey Ryan Forrester as they uncover eccentric, hilarious, and sometimes dark moments from a 1950 edition of the Atlanta Constitution newspaper. This “Past Times” installment centers around the trio’s playful banter, irreverent takes on history, and spontaneous riffing, while touching on Southern culture, politics, religion, and the oddities of American life. Amid running gags, sound effects, and signature tangent-laden storytelling, the hosts and guest span topics from newspaper headlines to the personal—each offering up their unique comedic perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Segments

1. Fart Files & Sound Effects

[00:27–02:25]

• Corey returns with updates about his infamous ‘fart files,’ joking about capturing emotional nuances in flatulence and pitching a “Farts of Humanity” party game.
• Memorable Quote:
  “I fart on 18 and up. That’s my game… This is going to be more of a concept fart album.” – Corey [00:34]

2. Southern Living & Corey’s Origins

[04:25–06:25]

• Corey describes moving his makeshift studio to his sister’s house in a Southern rural area, surrounded by pigs and chickens, and riffs on disruptive spouses at home.
• The trio digress into playful, gender-flipping impressions of domestic stereotypes.
• Memorable Quote:
  “It’s a lot easier to work when some stupid ain’t screaming at you all day.” – Corey [05:26]

3. The Power of Pop Culture & Spanking in Old Movies

[06:39–08:01]

• Corey discusses how Jewish Hollywood producers influenced the “American Dream” imagery, then details how media normalized dubious gender norms, particularly scenes of men spanking women as discipline in old movies.
• Notable Exchange:
  “Sometimes you have to slap a woman... or spank a woman because they’re children.” – Corey [07:43]
  “This is a great side podcast, first off.” – Dave [06:44]

4. Guessing the Year & Paper Origin

[08:23–09:32]

• The gang guesses the year of the newspaper. Corey's confidence shines:
  “I’m gonna say this is from 19 and 44.” – Corey [08:58]

5. On Fluffy, Chihuahuas & Hollywood Stars

[11:23–12:43]

• Corey recounts meeting comedian Gabriel Iglesias ("Fluffy") and being surprised by his four Chihuahuas, leading to a running bit on regional dog names and the economics of Hollywood Walk of Fame stars.
• Quote:
  “That’s holding four Chihuahuas—that’s a Taco Bell item.” – Dave [11:56]

6. Classic Southern Newspaper Headlines

[15:15–19:00]

• They dive into quintessentially Southern stories—a police chief hunting birds, losing his dogs, and the culture around keeping hunting dogs.
• Discussion on dog-keeping customs in rural areas, with Corey noting:
  “I don’t think you like dogs—I think you just think you have to have dogs.” – Corey [17:48]

7. Russian Roulette & Dark Humor

[19:11–22:01]

• A grim story of a Princeton professor’s fatal Russian roulette leads into morbid political satire:
  “Anytime there's a runoff, it’s Russian roulette.” – Dave [19:44]
  “Maybe the government…Should be a double barrel shotgun, loaded to the hilt.” – Corey [20:19]

8. Celebrity Gossip & Baptism Scandal

[48:05–54:18]

• Discussion of Ingrid Bergman’s scandalous out-of-wedlock child and the ensuing letters to the editor.
• Quote:
  “So now we put a premium on illegitimacy and the Catholic church apparently has openly condoned adultery, illegitimacy and free love.” – Letter from Richard Keach [53:54]

9. Belief in the Bible & Rational Doubt

[35:31–44:55]

• The group reads and mocks a serious newspaper op-ed questioning why people believe in the Bible if they haven’t read it; Corey draws a Southern parallel to sports fandom.
• Classic quote:
  “Do you have a clear, intelligent, convincing reason for faith… or do you believe the Bible because your grandpa believed it?” [39:09]
  “Same reason people believe in the Bible, because my papa did.” – Corey [40:11]

10. AI Political Ads & Modern Southern Paranoia

[45:12–47:01]

• Corey satirizes the new wave of AI-generated, fearmongering campaign ads targeting southern audiences.

11. Parrot Inheritance & Animal Eccentricity

[58:10–65:39]

• The story of a 52-year-old parrot inheriting $40,000 from a lonely Pittsburgh cop.
• Jokes about vintage parrots and what language a parrot from the 1940s might use.
• Quote:
  “The bird is the only friend I have. I’m leaving him everything I own.” [62:51]
  Bird voice: “I’ve seen everyone I care about perish.” – Corey [64:52]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “You had me worried. When you say you're not releasing, I thought you meant holding your fart.” – Gareth, [01:30]
• “‘Why believe Bible?’ — that's a Trump quote.” – Dave, [35:40]
• “I wish I'd spent less time at work. Rock.” – Corey as parrot “Bob”, [65:06]
• "I saw the largest cockatoo after my baptism." – Dave, [62:08]
• “I’m not gay, but I’ve had a cockatoo, you know what I’m saying?” – Corey, [62:34]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• Corey’s Fart Files & Soundboard: [00:27–02:25], [31:49], [32:09], [35:31]
• Hollywood Pop Culture & Spanking Discourse: [06:44–08:01]
• Guess-the-Year Game: [08:45–09:32]
• Hollywood Star Economics (Fluffy/Chihuahuas): [10:30–12:43], [13:17–13:41]
• Hunting/Police Chief Dog Story: [15:15–19:00]
• Russian Roulette, Nepotism, and Legacies: [19:11–21:56], [30:07–34:49]
• Bible Op-Ed & Faith Discussion: [35:31–44:55]
• AI Political Ads Satire: [45:12–47:01]
• Ingrid Bergman Letter Section: [48:05–54:18]
• Parrot Inheritance Story: [58:10–65:39]

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Show Tone & Style

• Language & Tone: Boldly irreverent, unfiltered, edgy, and self-referential, leaning into Southern vernacular and culturally specific humor.
• Interaction: Heavy on inside jokes, callbacks (especially related to farts, sound effects, and Southern customs), playful ribbing among hosts and guest.
• Themes: The interplay between past and present, the quirks of American moralism, oddball headlines, and the personal idiosyncrasies of the hosts.

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Final Reflections

• Corey plugs his Substack (coreywritesforyou.com), describing a mix of free and paid content, creative stories, and ongoing "Corey Lore" ([66:29]).
• The episode ends with the group contemplating the life cycle of parrots, the isolation of peculiar Americans, and Corey teasing further stories (“feral cat rape orgy”) for future installments.

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If you missed the episode, key takeaways are:

• It's a hilariously wild romp through historical absurdities and Southern perspective.
• The trio's chemistry drives both insight and chaos.
• Expect equal parts history, social commentary, and unpredictable humor.

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Transcript

[Gareth Reynolds]

Neighborhood.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Advertisement Voice]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married.

[Dave Anthony]

Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Dave Anthony]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Well, you're the guy with the fart file, you know.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah. And you remember last time I told you guys that the fart files were missing? And then I was like, yes, they were in the Epstein files. I got caught farting on which, you know, I told everybody there I was like, I fart on 18 and up. That's my game. Yeah, but you get there, you don't

[Dave Anthony]

ask questions, sneak behind you.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

You know what I'm saying? You know, if you're in an or, you're in an R rated movie, you assume everybody there is allowed to see the movie. You know what I'm saying? You just assume. But no, I genuinely. I thought I was just high. I have lost the fart files. But fret not, fellas, I'm working on new ones. Matter of fact, I think I sent y' all the first batch, but I'm not releasing until I'm, I'm. This is going to be more of a concept fart album. So I'm not releasing a single because it wouldn't make sense with all of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

First of all, you. You had me worried. When you say you're not releasing, I think thought you meant you were just holding your fart. Yeah, but you're talking about the actual.

[Dave Anthony]

The files.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I do that often. You know, like how you remember when you were a kid and like the best farts. And by best farts I mean the most powerful farts were always after you'd like, left your first date or you got out of church or a funeral because you were nervous and you'd been holding it.

[Dave Anthony]

My friend Steve Berg calls it Shackers Gas.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's tremendous. I'll name the track that Shackers Gas. So that's one of the things I'm trying to capture is like the different farts that like. And then I was thinking about like dude cards of humanity. So simple, why not farts of humanity? And so you press a button, you hear a fart, and the person that the game is. People have to guess what Produced that fart. Is that a grief fart? Is that a taco fart or is it mostly air?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Grief farts a thing.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Grief fart's a thing.

[Dave Anthony]

I think he's trying to say gravy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, a grief fart where you're sad and you're anxious and it creates a specific kind of fart. Remember the farting security guy?

[Dave Anthony]

Welcome to the Past Times. It's a podcast. Someone's doing it, and it's us. Our guest has never done one. You know, we do here each week we go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it, and neither has this week's guest, the great Corey Ryan Forrester.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

How to do Everybody. Hey, not.

[Dave Anthony]

You're one of the. One of the main. You're one of the guys, Corey.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I mean, you know, people are gonna

[Dave Anthony]

see this and we're gonna hear and people are gonna be like, oh, yeah, that's gonna be one of those.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That makes me so happy. Per Reddit, it seems, because it's very weird. Like, I followed the dollop Reddit for years before we became friends, and then, of course, years before I came on the show. So it's odd to be scrolling through Reddit and then see yourself out of context, right? Like, I'll see. And I'm like, whoa, I didn't post it. Whatever. And it's usually people on the dollop Reddit wondering. They're like, hey, it's been a while since Corey's been on, and the last time he was on, we think he may have committed vehicular manslaughter of some kind. Is he in prison and I'm not.

[Dave Anthony]

It says a lot about the heat you bring that. The vehicular manslaughter, I completely forgotten about.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, baby, yeah, you really. You pack it in.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I got that Broderick charm.

[Dave Anthony]

Fardis Bueller. Corey, what's going on? You're in a new little. You normally are in what I would call a teenager's attic, but now you seem to have stepped it up. Is it the same room with a background? Is it still around you? Are there still what you call raccoons or future meat?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Actually, it's really funny you say that. I am in generally a way more redneck area. You have a studio, but. Yeah, so I'm at my sister's house where out if looking out my window, I can see the pigs, I can see the chickens, and I can see other things that I can't say.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Well, no, they. Well, first off, I don't know, because I don't think they have to wear their robes if it's just them hanging out together. You know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Like, they don't do a bunch of Labor Day. Yeah, I know that one. It's tough for them.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

But, no, I. My. My studio is at my sister's house, mainly because I lost Internet one day, had to come over here, and then I realized, oh, it's easier to work when you're. And, you know, in this. It could be a husband. A husband would do this, too, if the woman worked at home. When.

[Dave Anthony]

This is what we call the business. Getting ahead of something. Getting it.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, get. It's a lot easier to work when some stupid ain't screaming at you all day.

[Dave Anthony]

Listen, favorite. Or do you want to call your

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

wife the B word?

[Dave Anthony]

My guy.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I know, but I said it could have been a man, too.

[Dave Anthony]

So what? Will you at least walk through the version of what that would sound like if you were. If it was your husband, so we can at least counter what you just said?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

So if I'm a woman working and the husband's being annoying.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, or you're a man and your husband's being annoying.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Either one. I'll be both. Okay, so I'm the woman working. Click, click, click, click, click, click. Hey, honey, Excuse me. I need you down here for a second. Hey, I'm sorry, darling, but, you know, as I've told you, even though I'm home, I'm not really home. I'm. I'm actually working. Okay. Oh, yeah. Well, if this was the 40s, I'd come up there and take you over my knee, lady.

[Dave Anthony]

What do you think about. No, Excuse me. Sorry. To be clear, the roles remained the same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm. I'm a little actually concerned that he thinks in the 40s, women were being spanked.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but. Oh, yeah, that's. That's what I mean. He.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

They were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because it seems like this. It seems like you just started like a porno.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Is it. The women were spanked? You didn't know women were being spanked.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a great side podcast, first off.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

First off, art reflects art reflects society, and then society then in turn reflects art. So it's sort of like a circular thing, such as the American dream. And by the way, I'm about to say a word here that I don't mean negatively, but with my accent, it's going to sound that way. But the American dream as we know it, the two Story house with the white picket fence was actually dreamed up by Jewish Hollywood producers. I'm. I mean this, and I don't mean it in a bad way, right? When a lot of the producers in Hollywood who were Jews that fled Europe, right, they come over here and they take a gamble on this thing called the Nickelodeon, right? Oh, it's the cat's pajamas. Well, they were just putting on screen the things that they want. Their. Their vision for America, like what they dreamed of and what they were escap. And thus that became the model for how we actually live. Hollywood dictated that. Now, reversely, back in those days, in many films, you would see a. And this is not in a comedy, a movie where when a woman back talked a man, he would put her over her knee and spank her, right? Ricky Ricardo did it to Lucy as a form of punishment. And it was seen as like, yes, sometimes you have to slap a woman. I used to spank a woman because they're children.

[Dave Anthony]

So.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

So you sit here and you tell me that this never happened. And I'm telling you that you just don't know the history of television, you idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, let's. Let's. Let's officially start

[Gareth Reynolds]

put in my place.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he just put you over his knee. It's faked. You sure did, Corey. You know what we're going to do? We're going to guess what year this paper's from. No context you get to guess. I would say that I always lose,

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

but I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

You've been pretty lippy towards Dave, so there's a chance I have a shot today.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So what year? What year? Give us a year.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

The thing about winning and losing, though, is it's objective. It doesn't matter how Dave feels about me. If I'm right, you know I'm going to be right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't say that's right. He's such a weirdo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's right.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, good Lord.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

He is right.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I'm gonna say this is from 19 and 44.

[Dave Anthony]

I like that. Guess I'm gonna. I'll go 1888.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

You're wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's 1950.

[Dave Anthony]

Real good.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Didn't go over either, baby.

[Dave Anthony]

Champion once again.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Suck it. You.

[Dave Anthony]

You've really come into the house of this podcast. Have been quite aggressive towards each of those.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how you do it.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Eli came into New England and beat Brady'. What do you want to do?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, two times.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Two times.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, well, as. Let's just start. Where. What is the paper from the old,

[Gareth Reynolds]

well, it's the Atlanta Dixie Clansman. His old employer.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That is my old employer.

[Dave Anthony]

What happened there, Corey?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Well, you know, I, I, I wish I had a funny story, but they let me go two days after I renewed my contract. So, like, I genuinely don't know, like, I don't know what happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They, they turned in. He signed the contract and they turned in and some guy was like, no,

[Dave Anthony]

no, this guy is in the fart file.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We told you not to do this.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

In attempt to get my job back, I emailed them. Is it because I'm a gay black? And they haven't returned my emails, so I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's fair. This is going to get a lot of letters.

[Dave Anthony]

You like seeing yourself on Reddit? You said. All right, let's party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, did you see what Fluffy said?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yesterday, Fluffy did something.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fluffy, Fluffy got a star on the Hollywood Boulevard and someone, Some, someone or just. He brought up Saudi Arabia and he said that.

[Dave Anthony]

An amazing call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He said he didn't care because he, he, he, he took the money to buy a house. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, Riyadh.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Okay, it was a house. Never mind. That's fine. Oh, you, you used it for something you wanted. We didn't think you'd do that.

[Dave Anthony]

That's, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was a charity for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He makes it sound like he didn't have a house. He has six houses. He has a warehouse attached to it so he can keep, keep his Volkswagen VW bus collection at the correct temperature.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's, let's do this before we start very quickly.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I got another Fluffy thing. There's no way I'm going to fit it in, so. Go ahead, guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Go ahead. Well, we can start shooting arrows across the bow at Fluffy.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Here's what I call stories that sound like the setup to an old man racist joke, but actually aren't because they just happen. Me and Fluffy used to have the same management. And one day I was sitting on the couch and he walked in holding, I swear to God, in his arms four Chihuahuas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's holding four Chihuahuas.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a Taco Bell item.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why would you.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, you get, you can get. The crunchy ones are better.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm a soft shell Chihuahua.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Why?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, why? Is a good question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Giving them away? Like, what?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

No, they were just, they're his person. They were his personal Chihuahuas and he brings them there and I guess he doesn't put them on leashes. He lets them run around the way

[Dave Anthony]

that Corey says Chihuahua, it's pretty great. He really likes the Wawa. Say it again.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Hold on, hold on. You say it first.

[Dave Anthony]

I want to hear you say it then. Chihuahua. Say it again.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Chihuahua.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You hit. It's because you. You.

[Dave Anthony]

It's kind of gonna. It's going to corrupt how I say it. Because you're Wawa. But hold on. This is what I would say. Chihuahua.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I just said.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but yours is wrong. We're upset.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One time I was racist a shuttle in Vegas and it was packed and a Mexican guy got on and he just looked at all the people and he went, hi, Chihuahua.

[Dave Anthony]

That is a great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of the best moments.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what I said before I threw Lucy over my knee for a spanking. All right, let's start.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's what I would say if I was a Chihuahua and explaining myself to an alien.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just so. So Fluffy's on the board. We can take swipes of Fluffy from now on. Because that's insane.

[Dave Anthony]

People don't know. And then we'll start. People don't know how much they have to pay for these Hollywood stars. It's a shitload of money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, It's. It was $10,000, like, 15 years.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's like 50.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

50, 60 now.

[Dave Anthony]

So anyone who's getting.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's why they always say, like, I can't believe someone's just now getting theirs. I'm like, yeah, that's because they just now decided to get theirs.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They usually do it when they're old and retired or when their career needs a little bit of a.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And that's why you pay for it. It's a PR stunt, which, by the way, I got no problem with. But, like, no, you know,

[Gareth Reynolds]

and more people need to. On the Trump one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Are people pooping on it?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, there's poop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, there's been a lot of poop on it. Someone destroyed it last week again. Yeah, it gets destroyed a lot, too.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Going to drone some poop over it.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And this is separate from the other poop of your vile city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. Why don't you go out and roll with the pigs, you little animal. Go ahead.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I know, dude. Everybody that talks about. There's just. There's everywhere in California. It's like we. I, Dude, I step in horseshit every single day of my life.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's be honest. There's. There. The human stepping in human is worse. I've done both.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It's so much worse.

[Dave Anthony]

Stepping in human is a terrible moment.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Listen, I was trying to walk back. It is insanely worse.

[Dave Anthony]

It's real bad. It's demoralizing.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It's a heat. When the heat hits it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's nice.

[Dave Anthony]

Chihuahua.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Atlanta constitution, Tuesday morning, February 7, 1950.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

By the way, fun fact, this is when it's called the Atlanta Constitution, not the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Because there was the Atlanta Journal and the Atlanta Constitution. One was very pro Democrat, one was very pro Republican. And then I believe in the 60s

[Dave Anthony]

centrism, they came together.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

So to make it balanced.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Which is important. And it's gone well. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's gone great.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah. They fired me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're about to fton. Chief Ellis hunting trip was spoiled. He lost his dogs.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fon Police Chief Neil Ellis has gone a hunting. And it literally says a hunting. Yep. But for different quarry than he planned. The chief had started for South Georgia to hunt birds, but his two dogs got away from him on Flat Shoals Avenue. They were last seen at Ormwood and Moreland avenues. Wait, if you're.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Why was he hunting near an avenue?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's really me. Because sometimes there's avenues out in the middle of, like, in the country. There can be.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's true.

[Dave Anthony]

They have streets. But Austin Powers hunted birds on the streets all the time.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Hey, go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I gotta say, if your dogs like you, they come back to you.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

They do.

[Dave Anthony]

It is interesting. Well, I think for anyone who's upset by the fact that they ran away, we should point out those dogs are dead either way.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And let's also understand that he's not upset that he lost dogs. He's upset that he lost tools.

[Dave Anthony]

He lost birds. Impact. Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I didn't realize. I never thought about this until recently, but when I was growing up, a guy across the street from me was a hunter and he had two hunting dogs. And he always kept them in kennel and crates on the side of his house. They were never inside.

[Dave Anthony]

That's.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That.

[Dave Anthony]

That drives me crazy, dude.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It's. I knew these people. The people that I knew, these were relatives. They. These were this. Funnily enough, these were Chihuahuas too. These people. I know they used to.

[Dave Anthony]

They.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

They just had a separate place away from their house, this big kennel where they just kept all these dogs. And then once a day they would go feed them and then leave. And I was like, selling them, whatever. And I was like, they're like, no, they're just our dogs. And I'M like, but you don't, you don't want, like, you don't really want dogs. Like you have them in a whole set also.

[Dave Anthony]

Then you also go, well, okay, the alternative is they're in a pound. Which is, which is what they're in, though. Yeah, I know, that's what I mean. But. But maybe if they're in a kill shelter, it's like, is it a lie? I've gone down that path.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I don't think any thought was put in. I think the kids wanted dogs and the parents were like, all right, but you know, you're gonna have to, you're going to have to.

[Dave Anthony]

You got to go out there once a day and pour food on the ground. And that's pretty much where it ends.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah. And I was like, I don't think you like. I don't think you like dogs. I think you just think that you have to have dogs.

[Dave Anthony]

Now you do that with kids. I'm listening. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't heard that. Am I the only one who thinks dogs should be imprisoned in your backyard?

[Dave Anthony]

No, I meant go ahead with the paper.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

They are cops.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, let's all, let's all slow down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One is acad, One is a black and white setter with Nelly stamped on her collar. And the other a liver and white pointer with the name Spot on his collar.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, this. I know we're a while ago, but just putting the dog's name on there isn't really helpful information. No, I mean, they print the address of everyone in the newspaper. Why not throw your address on there? Yeah, Just be like, oh, cool, I know this dog's name. That's it. Yeah, Spot.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Hey, Spot. Yeah. Every dog in the world in the 1940s comes and runs. Every one of them was named Spot.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Spot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it was. Legally you had to name your first dog Spot.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because it had a spot. The first guy who did that is like on account of the Spot.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah. And if you go to. If you're a Pentecostal church, you have to kill your firstborn dog after you get baptized.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What just happened? It's some southern.

[Dave Anthony]

Put a fart noise in there. It's called the fart punched

[Gareth Reynolds]

pistol. Gamble proves fatal to professor.

[Dave Anthony]

Now that's a headline.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A 25 year old Princeton professor put a pistol to his head and killed himself Saturday night in what authorities listed as a game of Russian roulette.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, let's talk about it. Why aren't we playing Russian roulette more? I mean, look around us. It's time to gamble on this low stakes existence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shouldn't that be a fraternity thing?

[Dave Anthony]

Completely agree. Should be a political thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Anytime there's a runoff, it's Russian roulette.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if. What if. If you got elected to congress, we. We elect. We elect twice as many. And then they have to.

[Dave Anthony]

I like that. I got another pitch. If you win the. You win the electoral college. You're the president. Just because we live in the era of God is anointing these people. We put the ultimate test. You put a revolver at the swearing in all that whole day. You do the whole thing. But it ends with one round of Russian roulette.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Because, you know, maybe.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And since maybe the government we're talking about, I'd like to propose an amendment to that. It's Russian roulette. But it's a double barrel shotgun, loaded to the hilt.

[Dave Anthony]

That's good too. That's also pretty good. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's a different version. Yeah, that's like if roulette had one

[Gareth Reynolds]

number sawed off shotgun.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll put it on seven green.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Again sought off.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And you know what? Politicians love a sure thing. You know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

We do. Well, it also begs the question, what do they call roulette in Russia? Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Russian.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Whichever one live gets potato game.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Or. But it has to be confusing if you want to play actual roulette.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would just like to.

[Dave Anthony]

Should I do it in a Seinfeld voice?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just want to pause a moment.

[Dave Anthony]

What do they call Russian roulette And

[Gareth Reynolds]

Russia is that just roulette I think they call.

[Dave Anthony]

Or do they put a gun down and you end up blowing your brains

[Gareth Reynolds]

like they call it a seven. A guy. A 40 year old guy who's fucked 17 year olds. Is that what they call it?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I think you call him a Hebeo file.

[Dave Anthony]

That. That term big in our culture now is a sign of some disturbance.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It's bad. Somebody has. Somebody had a great joke. I can't remember who it is. He's like. He's like. Look, I don't want to get into the weeds on this thing, but technically, you know, this dude is not a pedophile. He's a hebe a file. But you know what? You know what you sound like if you say that? A pedophile.

[Dave Anthony]

John Marco Ceretzi.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, it was. It was jm.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

He got me so good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's really funny. Gareth.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This podcast, the Pastimes is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Oh, you did it the tasty phone. I don't know about you, Gareth, but I like keeping my money where I can see it, where I have it.

[Dave Anthony]

More than ever, Dave, now more than.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's the thing. Big wireless is coming for you. Big wireless wants your money. They want all your money, and they want you out on the street with no pants on. So after all these years of paying a crazy amount of money for wireless, I finally was done. Couldn't take it anymore. The high bills, the terrible fees, the perks that actually cost more money in the long run. They're out. Because I switched to Mint Mobile.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it is the tastiest, sweetest.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop. I don't think you should be saying that. It has a taste to it, because it is. Some of us have licked our phones and it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's by far my favorite because it saves me tons of money. The service is no different from the big. People just think like, well, it's a big. It's. Yeah, it's all the same stuff. So you're like, well, it can't be because I don't pay as much. It is. It works the same hours, man.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't make me say it a fifth time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're just throwing money away if you don't use Mint.

[Dave Anthony]

But your phone does not change taste.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, give that a lick G. I'll lick the phone one more time, but this so far has been.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I swear it's right. Where do you look again?

[Dave Anthony]

Because I've been looking front, back, bottom, tops. Is there a spot that I'm not. Oh, I've done the screen. I've done this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, do the screen. Trust me, because they just done the screen. Did an update. They just did an update. Just. They just did one. Okay, it's ready to go.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's just. It's bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Give it another lick.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll give a couple more. You finished the copy, but I'll look at a little bit more. But it definitely not meant. That's definitely not meant.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe it's your tongue. Ditch overpriced wireless and get.

[Dave Anthony]

God, I've got a bad time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get three months of premium wireless service for Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] pastimes that's mintmobile.com pastimes upfront payment of $45 for a 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month new customer offer for first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra c. Mint mobile for details.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't lick the phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, lick well, that was just you. That's a special thing for you. Oh, that's for guys who work in the industry.

[Dave Anthony]

I tasted it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Police said friends of Dr. Allison Williams Bunkley told of watching him pull the trigger twice. But nothing happened twice. Oh, not. That's not Russian related.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's a suicide.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

Man took his own life and he just was like, I'd like some people to have. I'd like to shock some people.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Where he's. And or you go, it's like I want to kill myself but if it doesn't work out, then I look like a badass and I might could go on living. It's a win. Win.

[Dave Anthony]

It is a good way to go out.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He refused. He refused to quit, they said. And laughing.

[Dave Anthony]

Remember, professor, there is a bullet in there. And now for my fourth attempt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And laughingly announced he'd do it just once more.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll do it once more just to test the faith. Now that it's 50 cucumber sandwiches with the crust cut off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That attempt sent a.32 caliber bullet into his right temple. He died at Princeton Hospital.

[Dave Anthony]

From what? Wow.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Vaxed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doc.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Probably. Actually, he probably was vax. Because in the 40s they were pretty. That was a popular thing to do, you know, and everyone wanted to do it. It made you cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I don't know though. But have you seen. Have you seen RFK working out in jeans? That's pretty good too.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I have. And let me tell you the That's. Everybody keeps talking about the. The dumbest things about. They're like, oh, all he wants to do is show that he's tough. And he. We want to see this. It's the jeans that we need to be focusing on. It's the jeans.

[Dave Anthony]

Major problem, dude.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I see. I see people on the golf course, the old men on the golf course sometimes in jeans. And it doesn't make me mad in the sense of like the dignity of the game. You must wear khakis. I don't care if you're naked. It's that jeans are the dumbest choice to wear when doing anything aside from being out on Friday at a pub quiz.

[Dave Anthony]

Stand up. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's it.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Like I. What are you. What are you doing here? Jeans.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, didn't he come out and say why he wears jeans? Did we read something about that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's convenient. So he doesn't. He doesn't.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He doesn't want to change out of.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, that is so crazy to imagine a grown man working out in the least breathable fabric and then keeping it on. I mean, that taint zone must be real bad. Dude, it sure smells like Corey's phone.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

He's got. He's got a rare condition that I coined a long time ago called pickle diclia. It's on Urban Dictionary. You can look it up. Pickle dicklia. It's the souring of the penis when you work out and don't take a shower. Pickle diclia. It's on there. You can buy a coffee muglia.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, he was like, jotting it down is like, oh, it's interesting.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Why don't work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't find it. Sort of. I feel like. I feel like early on, he was in shorts at one point, and everyone made fun of him for his little tiny legs.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, but now it's like, how Stephen Miller became a Nazi.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

This is the problem, really. It's not just that these guys are evil. It's that all of them are so insecure. Like, he has. Is like, somebody made fun of me for my short, so I'm gonna wear jeans. It's like that. Oh, do a dumber thing. That's a good call. And then Kid Rock has to like, I wasn't lip syncing. I. Matter of fact, I flew my DJ down from Detroit just to hang out. Just. Just shut the up. Like, why are you so insecure? Yeah, but it's not even an like, bro, like, how much money before you just go away? Like, I can't. I'm have. Have to do this podcast today. Do you know how much I wish I did now? I would still hang out with you guys if y' all wanted me. If I had a bunch of money, I'd be flying out there and hanging out with you. But what I'm saying is, like.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, the way you phrased it is.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, no, that was a little bit rough, and I apologize. I'll walk it back. I'm just saying, like, it. Doesn't having $100 million mean not having to care if somebody on Twitter thinks that you're lip syncing?

[Dave Anthony]

Dave just showed me a picture of RFK with Djokovic, and he's wearing shorts, and his legs are a little wiry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, I think at that age

[Dave Anthony]

don't discount seeing the two, like, patriarchs of your existence get shot in the head and all this, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think hilarious. I think that at some age, you know, I think you. When you take all the testosterone and stuff, he does the gears, they call it. I think it's easier to build up the muscle.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, it's hard to. When you get older, to keep your legs.

[Dave Anthony]

You should not look like most.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, dude, if you're that old, like, doing the leg workouts, you need to get big. Legs will hurt your knees. And I'm not making fun of him. Like, it hurts my knees. And I'm not even that old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're not. I wouldn't call you, like, a good example of any sort of physical.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Just go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Just.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I can hold my breath for 2 minutes and 50 seconds.

[Dave Anthony]

Weird counter. Keep going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is that even? Who. Okay. Dr. Bunkley was the son of retired Rear Admiral Joel Bunkley of New York City. His grandfather was the late Senator John Sharp of Williams. So he's a. He's a.

[Dave Anthony]

He's connected.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Never on time for meetings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I have a feeling Admiral Sons are probably pretty up, dudes.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Famous one. Lead singer of the Doors, Jim Morrison. His father was an Admiral Morrison.

[Dave Anthony]

That's good. Tony, how's your son? Oh, I'd rather not talk about Jim.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Family shame.

[Dave Anthony]

He started one of those rock groups. He's a vampire. He took acid. He thinks he's the chosen one. Matter of fact, he's on the COVID of Rolling Stone. Got a big bush in his pants. It's disgusting.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Riders on the storm. I was in Burma. I was riding in Burma in the Boer War.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The young professor had earned considerable renown as an expert on Argentine. The Argentine, sure.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Being an expert on the art in Argentina in the 40s, that's suspect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Argentine, which is not the same as Argentina.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, do you mean the people of Argentina? The Argentine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Argentine.

[Dave Anthony]

Use it as a restaurant?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Is it? In a sense.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I mean, I know that you.

[Dave Anthony]

Recently, they talked about the Argentine.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Well, we'll just agree to disagree.

[Dave Anthony]

In Argentina, he was in his adolescence, AKA an Argentine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Argentine is an older, now largely outdated term, historically used in English to refer to Argentina.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, suck my dick, boy.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

No. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't get to bring yours.

[Dave Anthony]

Two things. First of all, no sound effects. Second of all, what took so long?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't get to bring your sound effects to our podcast. That is not how we do.

[Dave Anthony]

I actually think he is allowed to do that.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I didn't do it the first time I bested Dave, but I thought there wouldn't be a third, so I thought that I better bring it out. Now I know there's not gonna be a third.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we shall see. Watch your ass, pal. I'm a little tired, so bend over his knee, Lucy. A lot of explaining to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you doing?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. I'm a little lost in the sauce. I don't know. I'm riding both sides of this fence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had published the Argentine newsletter based on information which he had said was obtained from underground sources opposed to the Peron administration. When he became assistant professor in the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International affairs, his friend said he told of carrying a gun Newark because of possible attacks on him by the idea that

[Dave Anthony]

he's worried about an outside force getting

[Gareth Reynolds]

him well from Argentine. They're coming for him. This is a Nepo baby with grandiose.

[Dave Anthony]

This is how Baron Trump goes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this is.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, War babies are terrifying.

[Dave Anthony]

Very special breed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shouldn't Baron Trump have to join the military?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, dude. You know he can get there just by stepping over the ocean.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

We've. We've talked about. I know us have. We three have talked about this. Maybe off mic or whatever, but like,

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've talked about it. Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

US have taught. Shut the up. You can't. You know what?

[Dave Anthony]

No, hit the sound for Dave. Hit the side for Dave.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

All right, hold on.

[Dave Anthony]

Not as good.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

We have talked about this before, but like, dude, every single elitist class it throughout history have been terrible. Yes, but at least, but at least they would go fight in their own wars that they started. Like it was. No, like the king would go out there all the nights.

[Dave Anthony]

Who?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

The landed gentry. They would like, say what you will, but they weren't just sending the soot faced boys to go fight. So, yeah, I think if Trump wants to do this thing right and truly be like, we're fucking, Baron has to go. And that sucks for Baron because, you know, he's innocent and all this. He's.

[Dave Anthony]

I still think he can fight. I also think that if Trump is this chosen holy warrior, make him go. Let's see him out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He looks great right now.

[Dave Anthony]

He's really looking good. His. His skin is finally turning into full sludge, which is a very important phase.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, he looks like you threw biscuit dough at an old cigarette wall right now is what he looks like.

[Dave Anthony]

It's very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a lot going on there.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a lot. Like there's a region of Our listeners right now, they're like, perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the most southern phrase I think it's ever been uttered.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, well, look, my aunt couldn't afford to get yellow paint like all you, you know, elitist coasters. So she just sat and hot box.

[Dave Anthony]

And French is mustard. And her lung sauce, she just, she

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

just, just, you know, Virginia slimmed it up in the same room for 10 months, got that yellow tent she wanted. And then remember, hole in the throat, blue people for toy cars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to cry.

[Dave Anthony]

And also, just hit the button real quick, cleanse the palette. All right, this is our strangest episode officially.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why believe Bible?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Why believe Bible? Wow,

[Dave Anthony]

that's a truck. That is a Trump quote. Why believe Bible? I love an op ed where you're like, you left a word out.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Why believe Bible?

[Dave Anthony]

Why believe Bible?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe the Bible from COVID to cover, said a Georgia man named Corey. But I have never read it. He continued, we have very.

[Dave Anthony]

That would fly today? Yeah, that would fly today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, of course.

[Dave Anthony]

That is a Trump quote. Yeah, I love it. I've never, never read it. I don't know what it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have In Georgia about 3 million people who say they believe the Bible, more than one half of whom have never read the book. Just why do you believe the Bible? Suppose I were an atheist and you wanted to give me one overwhelming proof that the Bible is the word of God. Just what one argument would you give that would convert me from atheism?

[Dave Anthony]

What is his ideology?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just what one argument will you give that would convert me from atheism? So.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I see. Right. So he is a Christian, but he's wondering why atheism? I think so is how do you get there?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

And he hasn't read the Bible. Right. I think it's called, I mean, faith.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Now, for the record, to defend this guy, I've never read Steven Tyler's biography, but I believe that he a 14 year old. You know, I. I believe. I believe all the stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Another example you could have used. I read the Sex Pistols book, but I know Johnny Rotten did coke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you gonna be involved?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

What's that, Dave?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you gonna be a witness in the Steven Tyler trial?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

No, I don't like to witness things like that. That seems like it would harsh my buzz, but I glad you're the victim. They always, all these. Did they always use like. They're like, well, yeah, I mean, how are you an atheist? Like, look at the sky or how are you an atheist? Look at a baby and it's like, what is that? So what does that have? If my mentality is that we all came from a burst of atoms, then I go. And that's. And so is the baby. You know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Because it's.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It's like. Also I'll say they'll be, how can you not believe in God? You've seen a baby. I'm like, have you seen a garfish? Okay, so same guy or there's not a guy. And I'm betting on there's not a guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I was lost a while.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

You don't know what a gar is. It's his co host, the Gators of the Pond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't know about a pond gator.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I really, I get. I honestly. A show that I would watch would be Corey taking Dave through the south on a tour. We could watch six episodes of that.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I was watching the trip last night, the Coogan film, and I actually thought. I was like, there's no way to do it without just blatantly ripping off the film. But like, yeah, a then Dave would be the perfect guy for me today on like a book tour through the South. That would be amazing out of times.

[Dave Anthony]

Or he'd be like, Corey, please, come on. You've got the button from your studio.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

You remember this cow's butt too? Yeah, all that stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, I'd say we got two more articles in a space.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you have a clear, intelligent, convincing reason for faith in the Bible as the divine holy spirit inspired eternal word of God? Or do you believe the Bible because your grandpa believed it? Remember now, the atheists are shrewd, well equipped with arguments that are clear as mud.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, this guy is really back. He's really made it difficult to know what's going on in his head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He has what one clear intelligent reason for Bible belief can you give that is able to annihilate the atheistic philosophy we have in Georgia? 159 counties to get. Do you really? That's a lot of counties for such a small.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And I live in the biggest one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you really?

[Dave Anthony]

I know the name of it.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Walker County. Biggest county.

[Dave Anthony]

Never mind. I just know your city.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, Chickamauga. Oh yeah, Chickamauga. Chinatown. Big county.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you go to the University of Georgia?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

No, I didn't go to you. I mean, I was there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why? Why are you allowed to root for them?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, I was there is a great answer too.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I was there a lot. You know why? The same reason people believe in the Bible, because my papa did. And really. And you know what's? Funny. My papa actually was a Tennessee fan from birth. But then Tennessee Johnny majors over my papaw took all his Tennessee shit out in the yard, burned it, looked at my dad and said, we're Bulldogs now. And my dad was like, all right, I guess we are. And so I was then born. And so like a phoenix rising through the ashes, I'm now a Georgia fan because of all that. And I'm. And he loves.

[Dave Anthony]

You're the phoenix rising through the ashes becoming a Georgia fan.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yes, exactly. And he hated. And he loved Georgia even more because at that time, Georgia's biggest rival was Auburn. And my papa was a contractor. And he said that every single prick architect he knew went to Auburn.

[Dave Anthony]

So fuck them.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Go dogs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there any story that you tell that isn't the most southern story of all time?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Not to you.

[Dave Anthony]

This is in the preview for the show.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, I mean, not to you, but like, if me and my buddies were sitting here talking it, nobody would even.

[Dave Anthony]

They'd be like, yeah, I would be like. I don't like when you say peepaw. All right. I don't mean to be a buzzkill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How many cars do you have broken down cars you have on your lawn?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Actually, you know what? None. I don't actually. I'll have you know that I have two paid off cars at my house. Ain't got no bank note. They don't know. Oh, nothing for me. I ain't gonna have to slap nothing on the table head and get it back with my next.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, all right, all right, all right. Let's all. It got heated. Let's cool down and let's just cleanse the palette.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, to get a cross section thought as to this, I would like to have 159 letters, one from each county, giving the one convincing reason for Bible faith.

[Dave Anthony]

We're looking for our most prolific atheist.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I thought there was only 26 letters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're looking for the most Bible.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The invitation to write is open to all. Your name will not be used. But I do want to hear from you. Write me at 1-061-ON.

[Dave Anthony]

I think I'd like to do an in person visit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Atlanta. Thanks a million.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Wow. What a weird. That's crazy how early that is in the paper too.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It's. They, they never leave you any room for argument too, because they'll be like, see, it says right here in the book. And it's like, right. But I believe the book is made up, so it doesn't. It doesn't matter. I can write a Book.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The evidence is it there. There is that flaw in the argument, but also it seems like a sticking point. We can't really get through where you. Well, I've said.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I've. I've said this. The. Those type of people, evangelicals and now right wing, they're really good at putting a. A line in the sand down that prevents them from being argued with. And used to. Whenever I would question religion or like, well, why would God do this? Or why would God do this? This doesn't make sense. They could always fall back on. The Lord works in mysterious ways. And from. You cannot argue from past that because any argument you give, they go, lord works in mysterious ways. And now that is just fake news like that. Now, anytime you say anything, it's fake news. And that's their thing. They always have this one phrase, this one logical fallacy that you just can't communicate with them. So again, what I'm saying is midterms, double barrel shotgun. What, three of them?

[Dave Anthony]

This is your point? No. Yeah, I don't think that. I think.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Dwyer Day. Do it on Bud. Dwyer Day. A national hero.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I was in college, I was geology major. And how'd that work? I switched majors and I was walking through campus and a guy in one of my classes, a fellow geology major, hands me a Bible study whatever thing. And I was just like. I read it and I'm just like, what? I go, what are you doing? And he goes, well, do Bible study. And. And I said, well, what do you believe? And then he tells me, creation, Earth. And I was just like, but we're geology majors. And he goes. I go, what about the dinosaurs? And he goes, well, they. They just put them there to try to trick us.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's only 6,000 years old. And so if you can extrapolate from that, fake news makes total sense because they're literally saying, well, the Earth is fake news.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It's good to be.

[Dave Anthony]

I think having a, like, personal edict is. If it can coexist with reality, then it's like, yeah, go for it. But it's when you start going, donald Trump came down to fight a holy war by bombing Iran. Where you're like, now hold on, I'm missing some pieces here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I feel like. I feel like I should do. And maybe I will do this soon.

[Dave Anthony]

Third part on Trump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I have an episode about how insanely religious the Iraq war was. And it's crazy. It's crazy.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

This one's gonna. Yeah, this one's gonna be worse, I think, because there's Already, man. There's a lieutenant governor running in Georgia that just put out this AI video. I mean, the worst. Like, I have a problem with all AI, but especially it's so advanced now that when you put out one that's so shitty, I'm like, dude, did you. You didn't upgrade to premium banana?

[Dave Anthony]

Being able to tell now you're like,

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

buddy, try like, let me send it

[Dave Anthony]

to a friend who tells me it's AI.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah. And it's just like, it's a Georgia lieutenant basically saying that what's happening in Minnesota is going to happen here. And I'm like, oh, what military is going to kill a bunch of white mammals? That. Is that what you mean? But it's like, it shows. The first slide is like, this is what's going to happen. And it just shows two women in burkas walking into a building. That was it. That was the great crime that might happen. And then, and then, and then it goes on and it's just a, it's a subdivision. And all of a sudden these like black super Sweet Retro Ford F150s with ISIS flags pull up and I'm like, well, first off, I know this is fake because they drive sawed off Jimmy's. They would kill for these fucking cars. These are rad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Then they're just standing out in the middle of a cul de sac, shooting their guns in the air, not at anybody. Arguably could be dove shooting. Perfectly legal here. And then the last.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys on fourth of July.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Exactly. And then the last one is a suicide bomber in someone's driveway who hits the suicide bomb and all it does is explode him. No collateral damage, no nothing. So like everything they described just.

[Dave Anthony]

They don't talk about those guys who get a little excited before pulling the trigger. Yeah, some guys detonate a little early. Like, Dave. No. Jesus Christ. Act like you've been here before.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I saw a tweet the other day that was like suicide bombing in the days of drones is such commitment to the game. Like, you don't have to do it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's cheaper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean. Yeah, I ran. I was reading how many drones.

[Dave Anthony]

I ran for 20 grand. Iran is taking out millions. Like they just spent 20 grand on a drone.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And then it's like.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we're like, we just lost $7 million.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They can make 500 of those drones a day.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

We fired it. We fired it.

[Dave Anthony]

So flat footed for. This is nuts.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Did you know that we fired at a painting today?

[Dave Anthony]

We hate you.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

No, I'm not in Georgia by The way the United States military Iran painted a helicopter on the ground and we fired at it from above like it's Wiley Coyote. Like Wally Coyote hack me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so amazing.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Anyways, I'm sorry I got us derailed now.

[Dave Anthony]

It's fine. It's never been railed. Yeah, we weren't real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Catholic Baptism revealed due for Bergman Infant One more time. Catholic baptism revealed to do for Bergman. There's a Catholic baptism is coming for a kid.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna baptize the.

[Dave Anthony]

And they're calling the do like it's an event.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ingrid Bergman smiled happily at her blue eyed baby boy in the Villa Margarita Hospital yesterday, while her sweetheart Robert Rossellini looked proudly. Father Felix Morleyan, director of the pro Dia Catholic University of Rome, said definitely that Rossellini was the father of the baby born to the glamorous Swedish American movie star. Ms. Bergman is still waiting A divorce from Peter Lindstrom. Oh, this is where that. That's why it's news.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, it was a bad. So that was a boy. So that wasn't Isabella, that was her brother. It's Isabella's brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a boy. So she's married when she did this. When she had is scandalous for the time.

[Dave Anthony]

Disgusting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who gives a. Hollywood brain, sir.

[Dave Anthony]

Hollywood brain surgeon. I'm very busy. Business is booming year round.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I only work on the worst brains.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Miss Bergman still is awaiting a divorce from Dr. Peter Lindstrom, Hollywood brain surgeon whom she married in Sweden. Hollywood outside of her career.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I got an offer from Hollywood today.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

What is that?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a place where we might go and I could operate on stars like. Yeah, I guess Humphrey Bogart needs a bit of a something done.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

And you will be helping the regular people too.

[Dave Anthony]

Aren't you American?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yes, but I've had a stroke. Can you help me? I am not a star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Speaking of this angle, Father Morlian said, as a Catholic priest I have stressed that the duties of parents to the immortal soul in the eyes of the Church are no less if the child is born outside of legitimate union.

[Dave Anthony]

But what a gracious statement.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

You've got to keep raising it.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

But.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you're not allowed to baptize it. I don't think. I think this is like totally outside of the. I don't know. Who gives a. They make.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

They only sprinkle, don't they? For the record. So that kid's going to hell anyways.

[Dave Anthony]

They're only sprinkling now.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I think they. I think they sprinkle don't they?

[Dave Anthony]

I got the. Not only did I get the dunk, my cousin got the dunk. And we were very small and when he came out, he looked at my grandma and he said, nan, I've had to wash.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I. I got the dunk. Yeah, I got dunked and right afterwards saw the biggest dick I've ever seen in my entire life. Still, there was a grown man,

[Gareth Reynolds]

so. So where he's from, they do it in a gym in a men's gym at the ymca.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

No, they have, they have the. Where all the choir practice robes are. You go back there and change. And they baptize people of any age

[Dave Anthony]

when you got BAP the first, probably six months ago.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

No, probably like seven or eight the first time, I guess. But this like 30 something, I guess he would have been at the time 38 or 39 year old man was also getting baptized and they just let us go change back there and I came back down out there and I was just like, I, I was like, God damn. Well, that's a hammer he's got on him.

[Dave Anthony]

Just big old dick. It's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dick to a kid looks big.

[Dave Anthony]

It's good that Dave told us a bird geology because the way he looks at you when you're telling most of your stories is the way I think he would look at. If he like found a fake wall in a cave and there was hieroglyphics behind, he's just like, well, if, if

[Gareth Reynolds]

aliens ever come down to Earth, I would like them to find Corey.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, they'd be like, we're not sure. A lot of our readings were improper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's who they talk to about every.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Statistically, there's a good chance most of the sightings are from my area and I have seen one. I saw a ufo. Not right over there, on the other side.

[Dave Anthony]

We don't know where you are. You don't need a point. But okay.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, I'm just letting you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I always thought that if like Jesus returned and he popped up in Kentucky, that they would like put him in a cage and sell tickets to see him.

[Dave Anthony]

We found an immigrant.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

We already got an ark.

[Dave Anthony]

This immigrant's trying to take Jesus's job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then announcing that Rossellini was the father, Father Maureen Kid Morlean continued, Catholics will learn with the Christian satisfaction that the parents of the child born Thursday night have decided to give Catholic baptism and education to the child, which can constitute the first step toward obedience to the laws of God. Oh, there's a follow up. There's a follow up. A couple days later.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Preston does follow up.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Sometimes we held him under too long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These are.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

We need someone to work on his brain quickly. He's a Hollywood star.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, allow me to jump in

[Gareth Reynolds]

and what the follow up are. It looks like letters to the editor.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Oh, wow. So this is. People had something to say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Terrible example. Either Constitution. Oh, editor. Sorry, Editor. Constitution. In regard to the recent scandalous actions of Ingrid Bergman, it seems to me that mothers of teenagers should rise up in arms and demand that her pictures not be shown in America. It sets a terrible example. That's the complaint all we tried to uphold as good and fine and scorns the sacred vows of marriage.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, you printed a very controversial article the other day about a woman who was getting divorced.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, there's more. There's a lot more. So now we put a premium on illegitimacy and the Catholic church apparently has openly condoned adultery, illegitimacy and free love, Dear God, from such evils as these. Deliver us Ingrid Bergman. Ingrid Bergman is still not divorced. Richard Keach.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

It'd be really funny if somebody wrote him it was just like The Bells of St. Mary's was an overrated piece of. Bing Crosby was great, but you sucked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Here's another one. Trash.

[Dave Anthony]

Trash.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am disappointed in my favorite Atlanta newspaper. Why on earth should the birth of an illegitimate child front page news and a paper so fine as yours. The whole story from the Bergman Rossellini romance has been nauseating in my opinion. I am sure thousands of other Atlantins feel the same as I do. Why not put. Why not put trash like this in a very obscure place if what need be your at all, Mrs. R F.

[Dave Anthony]

S. Put the trash in an obscure place is the weirdest ask.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I would like to say, though, in defense of my home state. Very good for them that no one used the word guido or wap or guinea or anything like that about Rosalini.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, there's another letter from some guy named Doran. Ryan Ford.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From how White Announcer's Curse. Strictly between you and me. Strictly between you.

[Dave Anthony]

This guy basically just wanted this to be left alone. And the editor was like, this is very good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it possible that the moving picture producers and the radio experts are correct in their assumption that they are appealing to the national mentality of from 8 to 12 years. I refer to the headlines that appeared in this morning's paper. No doubt the next size type is being reserved for banner lining. The second coming of Christ being. Being a sucker for alliteration wouldn't it have been nice if some of the headline writers had let go with something like, Rossellini reveals results of Revolting romance. Stromboli. Stromboli. Seduction startles select society. There you go. Stromboli.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That guy's spitting, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, very close.

[Dave Anthony]

That guy's complaint being the headline Alliteration and lack of racism.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, here's that's amazing. Bastard boy born by Bergman.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that is a good one. He's right. He is cooking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't credit me with being a member of the Vox pupali family.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Rupert Murdoch, wasn't it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because this is the first time I've ever indulged in the weakness. Was just so damn amused at seeming value placed on the story, I could not resist and figured that you probably got the same kick out of it that I did. Al C. White.

[Dave Anthony]

One more, Hal sure does. See why.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, he. It makes sense why he would want to keep this just between him and the editor. Yeah, he probably saw the paper was like that.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I don't know. You know it. Yeah, back then people wanted to keep those opinions to themselves, but now, boy, they're proud to print it in their own location.

[Dave Anthony]

The amount of times on threads, someone will. And I know it's the algorithm, like, attacking you, your anger, but it just will be like, I'm a proud white man, 35, love to bench press, and

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

you're like, how else can I offend you today?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. It's just that shooting yourself on live

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

television like the hero Bud dwi. That's how it's a.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a theme. He's got a theme.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I always have a theme.

[Dave Anthony]

You can't say that. He doesn't bring themes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he has a theme.

[Dave Anthony]

God, your road trip show is going to be great.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Amazing. We can do all Michael K.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It ain't crackers. Parrot52 willed 40,000 by his friend. End.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I need that one more time. I didn't hear the first word I. I heard Crackers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It ain't crackers.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like it when it is $40,000 by his friend. Do you remember the puppet that was driven around in the Rolls Royce in la?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was the puppet's name?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I don't remember the puppet's name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or madam. I don't remember Madam. Do you remember that puppet, Madam? She was like one of those hard, like, ventriloquisty puppet. Well, she was a famous one from, you know, back in the day. And when she died, when the. When the guy. She's alive. She's when the guy woodpecker attack, he. He put in his will that. That she. A Rolls Royce with a driver and enough money that she would just be driven around Hollywood all the time. So for years.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That puppet madam would just be that

[Dave Anthony]

person needed a Hollywood brain surgeon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just see her go down the street.

[Dave Anthony]

That's just crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's madam.

[Dave Anthony]

That's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That could have gone to homeless people.

[Dave Anthony]

But no, you see that all the time. You. Dave busted me on a comment, you know, you ever see that where like someone will see your comment and like comment on you just being.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

So there's this cat that was flying in first class and. And I just saw it. I was like, what? So I wrote tax the rich. And Dave was like, you know that you're part of the pro. This is your dream for your cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is.

[Dave Anthony]

God damn it. How do you find me any.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Tax the rich so I can become one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, Twitter snitches now since Elon. So you used to just be able to write a comment to someone, but now he highlights your replies to your followers. Yeah. So it. Elon is a snitch. It's a snitch thing.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, I got that got me the other day because my wife gets notifications and stuff with. Of people she follows and she's like, Corey, why did on three separate videos you comment. Damn right. Shake that black ass girl. And I was like, they were. This is a new update, you know.

[Dave Anthony]

That was your retort?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, yeah, I didn't have anything else. It must have been a new update.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did they.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, last. Last one. That's what we're doing. Parrot 52, willed 40,000 by his friend Bob. A 52 year old parrot has been. By the way, they live to like over 100.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they 150. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what's sad is they get super attached to their human. So their human dies before then.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I have a. I have a joke about that. I'm a special.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

What kind of words he said because he was 50 in the 40s.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh my God.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

This bird was going, don't free all of them. You know, Fire the buzzer.

[Dave Anthony]

Fire the buzzer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you ever seen the video of the. The cockatoo that was seen the video of the cop used and then a guy rescued him and like. And then smashed the cage in front of the cockatoo and the cockatoos was like, yes. Smashing the cage and the cockpit is

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

just like, that's awesome. I watch a lot of videos of Cockatoos list. They like. They either like death metal or just

[Dave Anthony]

like doing this a bunch like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they like to rock out.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

I saw the largest cockatoo after my baptism. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what's so sad is how much they've up parrot and cockatoo videos because it's all this AI now.

[Dave Anthony]

And it's all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what? That they were great before AI. This is. None of this is neat, by the way.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

None of this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Mike, this is. They're always asking for the anti Rogan. This show is the anti Rogan. Do you hear what we're saying? Take AI out because we like our cockatoo videos.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah, that's right. I'm not gay, but I've had a cockatoo. You know what I'm saying?

[Dave Anthony]

All right, just cap it. Hurry up.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A 52 year old parrot has been willed 40,000 by his master, George Blair, who he has no living kin.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The bird is the only friend I have. Blair explains I'm leaving him everything I own.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that's a real sad way to go out, obviously.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he hopefully pecks my eyes out. His estate includes. That's not in this.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay. Yeah. That is how you do a good ending.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His estate includes.

[Dave Anthony]

Put some of his seed in my ass and let him bird bath it out. Is that possible? Put him in a lady outfit and have him coddle my arms. Please fill me with seed and let him eat his way through me. Bung the mouth. Don't tempt me.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Have him suck me so dry I cannot weep. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I told you to go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's barely bird related. What he just did. It was crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

He had it written down. He was reading it something.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bird is stuck.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I do keep a list of just things to randomly shout at y' all like.

[Dave Anthony]

I do like it's.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I swear to God. Look, past times rant like if something happens and we don't have time today. But I have.

[Dave Anthony]

We don't have time.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I said thinking that you walked up on a feral cat rape orgy in the woods. But we'll do that for next week. Next time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's another time.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

We need to find The Fart files ASAP.

[Gareth Reynolds]

ASAP.

[Dave Anthony]

Because Corey's bench is weak.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His. His estate includes 20, 000 in paid up insurance policies, a home valued at 15000 in government bonds. I hope that's enough to provide for Bob after I'm gone. He said, Blair.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it will be.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

That's apparent.

[Dave Anthony]

I think he's gonna be okay.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's actually called low overhead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Blair said that the poly has been in the family for three generations.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

They're dying young and they live long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Years old.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, so? Well, they're not livers bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some bad generations. We're born with a liver failure.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I've seen everyone I care about perish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please. Your family is torturous to be a part of Rock.

[Dave Anthony]

Until I heard otherwise recently, I assumed the average lifespan of man was nine.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Rock.

[Dave Anthony]

Rock.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Edward. I wish I'd spent less time at work. Rock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Blair. Blair was a member of the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania police force for 20 years. He retired in 1927 and came to Detroit. He works part time at Chrysler.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

The bird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. After the parrot dies.

[Dave Anthony]

You're gonna love this, Rock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

After the parrot dies, the estate will go to charities, Blair said. But right now, Bob is one Polly. That's going to get more than a cracker.

[Dave Anthony]

Thanks for having me over, Bob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just happened.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the Anna Nicole Smith figure trying to bang her way into the fortune.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

The bird.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Wow.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

There was a Greek God that did that. A bird or a lady who then turned into a bird. Athena, was it? No, it was Lita. Lita, Yeah. I can't remember who the God was, but he. She tricked him down there. Her. And then she was like, I'm a bird. What are you gonna do now? And something happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Welcome to another episode of Barely Greek History.

[Dave Anthony]

Corey. Huh? Thank you for being here. This is our first one today and I don't. It's gonna be tough. What? Where? Could be. You're on Substack now. You're crushing on Substack, aren't you?

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

I am, yeah. I was number 11 in comedy as of yesterday. I'm sure it's fallen, but I would really appreciate it if everybody. If you like me on this show, do me a favor. Subscribe to my substack and you can find it at Corey writes for you dot com. Now, here's the deal. You can read every. Just you subscribing would mean the world to me. You can see everything I write for free. Or you could give me $5. I know that seems like a deal, but when I write things, I like them too much to hide them. But I also do like making money and we have an honor system there. So just. You can pay me the five bucks or not, but either way, I want you. Coreyrides4.com I'm currently. And people there know I'm currently working on an in. I've made my own lore on this sub stack and I'm working on a novella based on some of the lore from my short stories. So it's a lot of fun. And I don't know when this comes out, so just, just do that.

[Dave Anthony]

This is. I was just curious if it's anything like your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your grasp of the Greek.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, there's one thing you look Corey knows a lot. Corey is the Venn diagram of knowledge and pure insane entertainment. So go to Corey writes for you.com and yeah, I'm sure it's just a lot of stuff about pigs. Anyway, thank you, Corey.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

Thank you guys. I love you both. And Merry Christmas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Merry Christmas.

[Corey Ryan Forrester]

February, March. I don't know.

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