170 - The Past Times with Andrea More

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Dollop – Episode 170

The Past Times with Andrea More
Release Date: April 17, 2026
Hosts: Dave Anthony & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Andrea More

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Episode Overview

In this playful and irreverent installment of "The Past Times," comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by comic, writer, and podcaster Andrea More. The gang dives into a random issue of the Los Angeles Times from June 3, 1934, riffing on historical news stories while layering in chaotic side tangents, running gags, and rapid-fire banter. Topics include poison gum rumors, a polyamorous marriage attempt, gonzo appendicitis adventures, and lawsuits involving Henry Ford and beef-valued oxen. The episode is marked by sharp wit, absurd hypotheticals, and signature Dollop camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dog Clothes & Audience Banter

[00:01–06:14]

• The episode opens with classic Dollop meta-humor as Gareth jokes about his tour and the "Gear Force."
• Banter turns to Andrea’s habit of dressing her dogs, sparking a debate on dog body/cloth-shaming.
  • “She’s accusing me of being... She puts shoes on her dogs, don’t fat shame them.” – Dave ([02:05])
  • Andrea shares her Instagram: “a more underscore or less.” ([03:41])
• Light self-deprecating exchanges about learning capacity in podcasting.

2. Guessing the Newspaper Date

[04:46–06:14]

• Each host/guest guesses the year of the historical paper (Andrea: 1866, Gareth: 1902, Dave reveals: 1934).
  • “It is 1934. Who wins? No winner.” – Dave ([05:29])
• Quick digression on Palo Alto and tech personalities as origins of Andrea.

3. Poison Chewing Gum: Hysteria or Headline?

[07:16–17:39]

• Reading of a story about “poison gum” left on doorsteps in Sacramento. Much skepticism and improvisation:
  • “This feels like something they would tell you about trick-or-treating...” – Gareth ([07:30])
  • Extended riff on how the gum might just be regular Wrigley's with powder; Andrea and Gareth confess to sometimes eating food found on the ground.
  • “Someone definitely chewed the gum.” – Dave ([10:59])
  • “A warning to beware of similar sample packages of gum was broadcast over the radio by police.” – Dave ([15:35])
  • Dave’s family anecdote: his mother nearly cooked street-found lettuce.
• Reflection on media habits for sensationalizing, and odd public health warnings.
  • “Why are they going with the poison gum headline before we even know what the hell’s happening?” – Gareth ([11:38])
  • Tangent on CPR anxiety and health hypochondria from Andrea.

4. Polyamorous Divorce & Re-marriage Story

[25:38–34:51]

• Article: Divorcee in Odd Affair Weds Again. Woman attempts to save marriage by inviting husband's mistress into the home.
  • “That always works.” – Dave ([28:39])
• The group jokes about 1930s polycule dynamics and sarcasm fails leading to throuple situations.
  • “I'm in a polycule, but none of us have had sex in years.” – Andrea ([28:02])
  • “The best poly relationships are the deadbed polycule.” – Dave ([28:10])
• Questions arise on how such stories become news—gossip, confirmation, or just small-town rumor.

5. Appendicitis & Galapagos Hijinks

[34:56–41:37]

• Reading about William Albert Robinson’s appendicitis on his honeymoon in the Galapagos:
  • “Honeymoon voyages where you’re hunting for a wife...” – Gareth ([35:19])
  • Robinson couldn’t have his appendix removed, only drained. The group riffs on 1930s medicine.
  • “You got to hurry. This guy had to have died.” – Gareth ([41:25])
  • Turns out Robinson survived, circumnavigated the world, then lost his yacht to Ecuador, and settled in Tahiti.
• Spirals into a running gag about Dave’s dad faking his death and belly-bumping celebrations.

6. Henry Ford, Oxen, and Lawsuits

[44:15–48:48]

• Story: Elderly farmer sues Henry Ford for a "lifetime job" allegedly promised in exchange for oxen.
  • “He only paid me the beef value.” – Gareth, imitating the farmer ([47:44])
  • Group muses on why Ford wanted oxen, how beef value compares to “exhibition” value, and lampoons car brand history.

7. Vintage Beauty Tips & Recipes

[48:48–52:05]

• 1930s advice on dark glasses requiring vivid lipstick.
  • “Ladies, highlight your mouth. Don’t be stupid.” – Gareth ([49:20])
• Recitation of a “jellied cheese salad” recipe, to everyone’s disgust.
  • “Whipped cream… Now it’s bad. It’s bad.” – Dave and Andrea ([51:21])

8. Depression-Era Frugality & Found Food

[52:05–53:18]

• Further tales of Gareth’s mother and ground spoons/lettuce.
  • “Your mom has a stick with the bindle stick?” – Dave ([52:32])
• More jokes about hobos and heroin spoons.

9. Fresno’s Beer Price Disappointment

[53:35–55:55]

• Story reveals beer cannot, despite public hopes, be sold for a nickel a glass. Andrea expresses genuine (if facetious) empathy for both brewers and drinkers.
  • “This one had a really good intention.” – Andrea ([56:05])

10. Dark Turn: Baby Falls Into Boiling Lye

[57:40–61:06]

• Disturbing story from Stockton; group maintains irreverent tone, questioning whether a 4-year-old is a baby by 1930s standards.
  • “That baby was no angel.” – Andrea ([58:21])
  • “Don’t call a baby without a shirt topless ever again.” – Dave ([58:44])
• Joking digression about "Topless Babies" (a fictitious strip club), and the difference between 1930s kids and today’s.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Poison Gum:
  • "This feels like something they would tell you about trick-or-treating when I was a boy." – Gareth ([07:30])
  • "Who throws gum on your doorstep in the morning?... The gum fairy was doing a nice thing." – Dave ([11:13])
• On Eating Food Found on the Ground:
  • "I'll eat anything edible that's on the ground." – Dave ([09:03])
  • “My mother... took it home and wanted to cook it.” – Gareth ([09:26])
• On Poly Relationships:
  • "The best poly relationships are the deadbed polycule." – Dave ([28:10])
• On Surviving Appendicitis in 1930s:
  • “You got to hurry. This guy’s... This guy had to have died.” – Gareth ([41:25])
• On 5 Cent Beer Disappointment:
  • “This one had really good intentions all around, and I want to see all my friends get along.” – Andrea ([56:11])
• On “Topless Babies” Joke:
  • "Sorry, five minutes. It's a different day. It's next guest." – Gareth, riffing ([59:00])
• On 1930s Beauty Tips:
  • "Ladies, highlight your mouth. Don’t be stupid." – Gareth ([49:20])
• On Modern Perspective in History Pods:
  • "Somebody definitely dropped it. Someone definitely dropped it. We don’t know who drops lettuce and doesn’t notice.” – Dave ([57:07])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Dog Clothes, Schizophrenia Gag — [01:14–03:41]
• Guess the Year & Newspaper Context — [04:46–06:14]
• Poison Gum Story & Ground Food — [07:16–17:39]
• Appendicitis in Galapagos — [34:56–41:37]
• Henry Ford Oxen Lawsuit — [44:15–48:48]
• Beauty Advice, Cheese Salad Recipe — [48:48–52:05]
• Five Cent Beer Saga — [53:35–55:55]
• Baby Falls into Lye Joke Segment — [57:40–61:06]

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Episode Tone & Energy

This episode is classic Dollop: a combination of witty banter, derailed digressions, and historical absurdity. The tone is loose, subversive, and marked by playful needling among the hosts and guest. Andrea More matches Dave and Gareth’s rapid-fire style, gamely joining in mock outrage, surreal side stories, and faux sincerity about lost beer or doomed babes in historical headlines.

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For New Listeners

You’ll get the most out of this episode if you enjoy:

• Banter-heavy, comedic takes on odd historical footnotes.
• Playful irreverence about both past and present.
• Jokes that spiral quickly, but always eventually return to the newspaper’s absurd headlines.
• Running gags about real and fictional family stories.

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Final Note: The episode offers a sharp, laughter-filled lens on American oddities and hysteria from nearly a century ago, proving that human nature—and media—haven’t changed all that much.

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Transcript

[A]

Oh, sweet doll heads. You're part of the gear force, too, whether you like it or not. Go to garethreynolds.com for tickets and information because I am on the road. I will be in Albuquerque, New Mexico, April 19, Tulsa, Oklahoma. April 21, Oklahoma City, April 22, Dallas, Texas. April 23, Tyler, Texas. Didn't know you were a place until just recently. April 24th, Houston, Texas. April 25th, two shows at Riot. That's a great place. They're all great places. I will be at cap city comedy, April 26th, my baby. I'll be in San Antonio. April 28th. April 29th, Tucson, Arizona. And then more dates coming. But. But this is. This is the last big blowout tour for a minute, potentially. So. Gareth reynolds.com for tickets and information. Doll heads, Gear force. Love you. Hashtag gear force. Oh. Welcome to the Past Times. It's a podcast. Someone's finally doing it. You know, we do here each week we go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it, and neither has this week's guest, Andrea Moore, who is alive and allegedly. Allegedly. Hi, Andrea.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

How are you?

[C]

Andrea, Most of our guests.

[A]

Wow. This is.

[B]

Yeah, no, feel free to talk over me. Dave, go ahead. Yeah, do your thing.

[C]

Most of our guests have been wondering why you put your dogs in so many clothes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What an attack.

[B]

And that's an interesting way of saying that you only have one listener of your show. Oh, it's just you.

[C]

She's accusing me of being.

[B]

Dave would prefer my dogs not be in the nude, which I think is lurid. I mean, you would rather them not even have collars, which if they get lost.

[A]

What is your deal?

[C]

She puts. She let her.

[A]

Let her. And by the way, it's not her. She's listening to her dogs as a good parent.

[C]

She's body shaming her dogs.

[A]

But you're clothes shaming her dog.

[C]

She's. She's. She puts shoes on her dogs don't fat shame them.

[A]

But you just were winning the audience over.

[B]

I'm saying it's a good thing they're fat.

[A]

I love their fat.

[C]

Their dogs also make out sometimes.

[A]

Do your dogs make out?

[B]

Well, one of them licks the other one here. Oh, and there's.

[A]

That's fine.

[B]

That's fine. What was that beep? I totally.

[C]

Are you hearing things now?

[B]

It totally knocked me off my game.

[C]

We've.

[A]

There's going to be a beep every minute. So, you know, the show's Continuing Andrea Hate.

[C]

The one thing I know about her is anytime there's a beep, she just shuts down.

[A]

Yeah, that dog's going to get put in a bed outfit tonight.

[B]

Actually, I have what's called functioning schizophrenia. High functioning. So. So I just hear. I just hear a beep and I go, it's actually fine. Kind of annoying though.

[A]

But let's keep really mild case. From what I love, from what I

[C]

know is that the only thing you just hear a beep once in a

[A]

while the doctor comes over and it's like. It's your smoke detector.

[B]

No, I also have ADHD and I'm a writer.

[A]

Oh, so you're wgadhd.

[B]

Trying really hard to scab, but no one will let me because they say

[A]

we don't actually need you right now. No, that's true. Well, the truth is I'm in the guild and I'm trying to scab for the Guild, so it's. It's not easy. Andrea. Dog outfits. Where can people see these on your Instagram? Don't get angry at me helping you promote your Instagram. Where can people. What is your Instagram?

[B]

Thank you. It's a more underscore or less. Kind of some fun wordplay if you think about it.

[A]

Yeah, it's going to take a lot of thinking, but I think it's there. I mean, that's fine.

[C]

People figure it out.

[A]

I bet seeing it, it's helpful.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Taking out a piece of paper and kind of writing it down. I'm that type of learner. I don't know about you guys.

[C]

I'm not a learner.

[A]

I do a podcast with Dave and that's pretty much tapping me out as far as learning goes.

[C]

A lot of people.

[B]

Single threat.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, single threat. Barely half threat.

[C]

Half threat.

[A]

Half threat. Okay, Andrew. Well, we're gonna go through. Hey, come on. Here we go, man. Half nothing.

[C]

That's just half man.

[A]

Yeah, she's right. No, no, we do it through keeping

[C]

all the failures in.

[A]

What if I told you he was a half man and that's it. A real weak man.

[C]

Did you just.

[B]

I'm a real glass half man type of girl.

[C]

Yeah. That's nice.

[A]

You should listen to the take your shoes off podcast. That's a real Rick Glass man. I'm sorry about that. Andrea. Will you pick a year that you think this newspaper is going to be from for us?

[B]

I really screwed up last.

[A]

Do you want me to go first? No. You seem nervous.

[B]

No, this is. This is actually how I self soothe

[A]

by Coming off as stressful.

[B]

Okay, I am going to choose the year. Wait, the Dave voice is like, this is the year 1866. That's my guess, yeah.

[A]

1866. It's weird. I heard that time too. 1902.

[C]

It is 1934. Who wins? No winner.

[A]

No winner.

[C]

No winner this time.

[B]

It's the only way to make it fair. Gareth.

[A]

I just thought you were gonna win. I gotta be honest. There's a half man, half nothing. I'm pretty happy with this outcome.

[C]

Well, now Andrew's the winner.

[A]

You're a real.

[C]

Because it went into too much complaining and complain.

[A]

Well, I was celebrating your decision.

[C]

Also about a vibe.

[A]

Can I just say how great it is that you do that?

[C]

Well, now the ass kissing is weird. You just lost the next one we do.

[B]

That sucks for you.

[C]

Automatic forfeit. Yeah, automatic. You forfeited the next podcast game. It is June 3, 1934. The Los Angeles Times. Are you from Los Angeles?

[A]

No, I'm from Wisconsin.

[C]

Where'd you grow up, Andrea?

[B]

I grew up in Palo Alto.

[C]

Same thing.

[A]

Yeah, Palo Alto. That's where all the problems are coming out of.

[C]

Yeah, that's where all the problems are coming from.

[A]

Isn't that where you guys made Sam Altman in a petri dish?

[B]

No, Peter Thiel was my mother and father.

[A]

Ah, that's nice. That's awesome. That makes sense. No wonder. No wonder he's secreting so much. He's both screening. Yeah.

[C]

Why do you say that?

[A]

Because whenever I see him and whenever I see him, he's pretty shiny, and I don't like shiny. Guys.

[C]

What just happened? Because whenever I see Peter Thiel, I think of you.

[A]

Thank you. I don't know how to feel about that. Go ahead, Andrew.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

Oh, I'm more of a thinker than a talker. So you guys keep going.

[A]

Some people say you're Andrea more than a thinker.

[B]

Who said that?

[A]

That's my. You tell me.

[C]

It's the beeping poison plot in chewing gum found that that is.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A woman finds sample on home steps deadly enough to kill dozen persons.

[A]

Wow, so someone just left poison gum. This feels like something they would tell you about trick or treating when I was a boy.

[C]

That's actually not about it. It just scatter poison gum around. If you want to kill a group of people.

[A]

What a crazy thing to say. And just like I have. What a crazy thing to say. And then look to me to be

[C]

like, right, I have a place. I was thinking a country where we could scatter it.

[A]

I swear to God, if you're. If you. If you say Palestine, you are so canceled.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

It's a gum aside.

[C]

You can see Andrea thinking, oh, what's

[B]

going on in this big head of mine?

[A]

There you go. There you go. Shake it around,

[C]

Sacramento. What authorities believed to be a plot to poison an entire neighborhood was discovered by police tonight when four sample sticks of chewing gum left at the home.

[A]

I was gonna kill. Oh, okay.

[C]

Of Ms. Georgia McKenzie were found to contain a deadly poison.

[A]

Yeah, she was. You knew her.

[C]

I. I just want to say right

[B]

now, I like how they are still the. The use of passive voice seems to transcend time. I guess it's always been a thing like.

[A]

Yeah, it is like was found.

[B]

Is believed. Believed by who?

[C]

Yeah, who believes it?

[A]

No, they have There. That's very. They do a very good job. If you found gum on the ground, Andrea. Eating it.

[B]

I'm trying.

[A]

Let's say it's wrapped.

[B]

I'm trying to think of a situation where I wouldn't.

[A]

Okay, Dave.

[C]

I will eat anything edible that's on the ground.

[A]

All right, let's play a quick game. My mother. Oh, yeah.

[C]

I mean, yeah.

[A]

What about a sleeping guy?

[C]

I would eat a sleeping guy. Yeah.

[A]

Let's play a game. Did my mother. Mother take this home and want to cook it? Lettuce that she found on the street. But it was open, but in a bag.

[C]

Absolutely. Took it home and wanted to go.

[A]

Andrea, wait.

[B]

This is something real that happened.

[A]

Well, did it? That's the question. Am I making it up or is it real?

[B]

Yes, it is real, but I just, for some reason, having a hard time imagining Wisconsin having lettuce.

[A]

This feels like a cheese.

[C]

Wow, she's English.

[A]

This might have happened in California if it happened.

[B]

Oh, then, yes. Okay, then. Yeah, definitely.

[C]

This is recent.

[A]

Yeah, this is probably in the last five or six years.

[B]

Okay, well, yeah, the way you're talking about it really now.

[A]

And we made her throw it out.

[C]

Can I say something else? You said cook it.

[A]

She. Well, she wanted to use it for dinner.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

She wasn't going to cook the lettuce.

[A]

I mean, the only way. That's the only way to get the street off it. You've got to boil it. That's the English. That's like the Mary Poppins solution for cooking in England. You've just boil it. It'll get all the flavor out. Just boil it. Your kids, they will not shower. Yeah, you're done. Yeah, I get it.

[B]

I get why you're the way you are now. It's all Making sense, right?

[C]

What do you mean by that? No, she's right.

[A]

I don't know. What does that mean? It's just you and Dave.

[C]

I would just like to say we don't know exactly what she meant, but she also nailed it.

[A]

It's weird. It feels like that.

[B]

It's what I didn't mean.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

What's going on between the notes?

[A]

I gotta. I gotta keep that in the back pocket. It's like jazz. I'm gonna say that a lot similar

[C]

sticks of gum were found on the steps of adjoining houses, but an analysis for poison.

[A]

Someone definitely ate it. Someone definitely chewed the gum.

[C]

And then we're not. Wait a minute.

[B]

It was the Great Depression. They couldn't afford on their own.

[C]

And also, what are we pretending, like the gum fairy doesn't exist?

[A]

What?

[C]

Who throws gum on your doorstep in the morning? You wake up and there's gum on your doorstep. Someone. The gum fairy was doing a nice thing.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I don't know about that fairy.

[C]

Similar sticks of. Wait. Wait until you hear this. Similar sticks of gum on the steps of adjoining houses were found on the gypsum. Adjoining houses, but an analysis for poison in them will not be completed till tomorrow. So did they not do any analysis on this?

[A]

There's a chance that this neighborhood just turned its nose up at free gum. We don't know yet. Why are they going with the poison gum headline before we even know what the hell's happening?

[C]

Ms. MacKenzie, a divorce, said she found the gum.

[A]

This feels like a Trump. Like something he was saying at a rally, like, trying to, like, convey. And they. None of them cheated a gum.

[C]

By this time. This comes out. Trump could be done.

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

I meant to say gum.

[C]

No, no. But Trump chewing his gun is awesome because that literally could happen.

[A]

That's how it ends.

[C]

That's. That's where he's at.

[A]

The president passed away from accidentally killing himself while trying to chew a gum again.

[C]

Okay. Bertie Snyder, city chemist, completed an analysis of the chewing gum and announced each of the four sticks in the sample packages contain enough poison to kill a dozen people.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

How big are these people, though?

[A]

Yeah, he over poisoned.

[C]

And how big is the gum?

[A]

That's a weird question.

[C]

The poison a white powder had. So this is like.

[A]

Put it on there.

[C]

On Wrigley's Gum, there's like a little white powder.

[A]

You gotta put.

[B]

You gotta get.

[A]

You gotta cover the poison tracks. You know, just sprinkle a little poison on the gum and then be like, there we go. You've gotta dust it. Although gum has some. Gum has a little white powdery outside on it.

[C]

Yeah, like Wrigley's.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is popular this time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm saying someone just put Wrigley's down and they decided it was poisoned.

[A]

Where have you been this whole episode?

[C]

I've been right here.

[A]

I'm glad you spoke up.

[C]

The poison and white powder had been carefully spread over the gum and then covered with the powdered sugar that is usually found on gum.

[A]

That's what I was saying before I let you get it out.

[C]

This isn't poison. This is just gum.

[B]

That's what he said too, before he tried to poison this neighborhood.

[A]

I like that you're bringing out that. That's what he said.

[B]

That's what he said. I just came up with that. Also, I find it interesting that it's time. Time's up for this guy. Also, can I say that's what he said.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Uh huh. You know, that's right. So he's trying to poison an entire neighborhood, but they're only talking about four pieces of gum. So this is how bad. This is. How dire things were, is that they were splitting the gum up or is this a neighborhood of four?

[A]

Or did some of the people die and we just don't know yet.

[C]

Also, is this. Is this the kind of neighborhood where when you find a dead person, you look in their mouth, take the gum out that they've been chewing and put it in your mouth?

[A]

It's cool that you took what she said and made it psychotic. Good work. Good punch up.

[C]

The package in which the gum was contained was a small brown envelope on which the word sample had been typewritten.

[A]

All right. Now I was thinking they were like. They had great discernment, by the way. Great gum discernment. That could be good. All right, I'll hang in there and keep going. But also, that's not how you poison people. You don't put. Come in a brown envelope.

[C]

Sample, sample. Hey, honey, Just from the bush.

[A]

Just from the bushes. Just watching. Yeah, they seem to be suspicious again. Every house here is pretty suspicious, honey.

[C]

This sample gum out on the doorstep again.

[A]

Just eat it this time. It's clearly from Wrigley's. It's got a handwritten sample on the outside.

[B]

It's from Mr. Wrigley himself.

[A]

Another letter from Don Wrigley.

[B]

Is there a mistake?

[A]

Please try my new gum. This is not poison. Chew it a bunch. Make sure your neighbors do, too. Sign Donald Wrigley.

[C]

Identical envelopes were found at two Other houses on the same block.

[A]

I mean, it's not poison. All the other houses have it, too. Clearly, Don Wrigley just went around the neighborhood gifting us with his new sample.

[C]

A warning to beware of similar sample packages of gum was broadcast over the radio by police. Warning. Warning.

[A]

There might be gum.

[C]

Do not eat gum. Warning.

[B]

Well, yeah, you're supposed to chew it.

[A]

Yeah, it's true. Well, although I would eat it when I. I mean, I ate it for a long time.

[C]

I had a lot of gum when I was a kid.

[A]

And then, like, one of my teachers. Like, it's crazy. And then I thought, first and forever, I thought it was crazy. And then eventually, I'm kind of back to like, I don't care.

[C]

It doesn't matter if you eat gum.

[A]

I mean, we are literally. This is the point, Dave. To me on the road all the time. I'm making your point.

[C]

Get ready, soapbox Reynolds.

[B]

He will.

[A]

I'll be like, I'm going to. It'll be like, why are you doing all this? Working out. It's all ending soon anyway. And I'll be like, no, that's tough.

[C]

I don't say.

[A]

But don't you say stuff like that.

[C]

I know. I don't.

[B]

Don't you want it to end more pleasantly, like, with a boom rather than a prolonged.

[C]

Ah, that's a good point.

[A]

It's. It's a weird way to ask such a profound question.

[C]

It's kind of the point that I've been making.

[A]

It is a profound question.

[B]

I'm really scared. I. I took a CPR first aid class because they offer them for free. And I was like, this will be an easy thing to do. That'll make me feel good. Okay, now you're taking out your phone. You're like, phone time.

[A]

No, I put my phone down.

[B]

Oh, you were locking in.

[A]

I'm locking in.

[B]

We learned how to identify a stroke victim, like, if someone's having a stroke. And afterwards, I became so convinced that I was having a stroke. Like, I would wake up in the middle of the night and be like, I can't feel my arm. And so now my boyfriend says I'm not allowed to take any more classes for a while.

[A]

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't sleep, and I definitely have a stroke.

[C]

Have you ever done competitive cpr?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

That's great.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They're trying to bring Olympics. Come on, hurry.

[A]

I need this

[C]

divorce in odd affair, weds again.

[B]

Oh, we're done with the gum story.

[C]

Yeah. That's it? Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You had. You wanted more. I felt there was, like, very completed.

[B]

I wanted to know what neighborhood it was in.

[C]

Oh, yeah. They should have said that.

[A]

Find out if they're still alive or not. Someone definitely ate the gum. Some of the neighbors were still there. Definitely. For instance, Luke, who helps us on our show.

[B]

Or I've heard of Luke. My friend was just hanging out with him.

[A]

Yeah. What do you mean hanging out with him?

[B]

My friend's in town and she's like, oh, I'm going to meet my old friend Luke. And then. And. And she was like, he. He hangs out with Dave and Gareth and I. I did a spit take.

[A]

I went, nice.

[C]

That's what you do.

[A]

How does your friend. How does your friend know Luke? Through what?

[B]

They went to Emerson together. Gareth, did you go to your friend?

[A]

I went. Yeah, I went to Emerson. Who's your friend?

[B]

I think you know her. Zeph. Elizabeth. Zephirine McDonough.

[A]

Yeah. I know Elizabeth Zephyr and Madonna.

[B]

Oh, great. Well, she's in town.

[A]

It doesn't seem like she wants to hang out with me. She wants to hang out Weird. Luke, who opens fish cans in the van. Go ahead.

[B]

What type of fish?

[A]

The worst.

[C]

Swedish fish. That everyone online is like, don't open this inside.

[A]

It's like the greatest thing that ever happened. But Dave does.

[C]

I just want to say, and be very explicit about this. Zeff does not want to see you when she's out here in the West.

[A]

Yes, she does.

[C]

She does not.

[A]

Absolutely does. Dave locked himself into the bathroom for a half hour. Go ahead.

[B]

What do you mean? Why? Are you okay?

[C]

The door. The doorknob came off.

[A]

It might be a stroke.

[C]

So I was stuck in there.

[A]

Is that a sign of a stroke?

[C]

When I put it back on, stripped, I couldn't.

[B]

Based on my understanding, everything is a stroke.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[B]

But anyway, I was trying to make the point that that's why I try to take care of my bodies, because I really don't want the rest of my life to be as a stroke victim.

[A]

My father had a stroke.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Feels like. Yeah. Feels like you're attacking my dad and me.

[B]

I'm sorry. I didn't even know you had one of those.

[A]

A dad?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Everybody has a dad. Some people.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

More than others.

[A]

Dave has a dad. Dave.

[B]

Dad.

[A]

My dad faked his death.

[C]

My dad was in Detroit. I have you on. I showed it to you yesterday. I put it on Instagram. You Saying you killed my father. I put it on.

[B]

What do you mean, you.

[A]

He faked his I killed your old father Dave spot. Dave's father admitted to it. Hold on.

[C]

On video.

[A]

We got to stick to the podcast.

[C]

I put it on after.

[A]

Stick to the podcast.

[C]

You admitted it.

[A]

We have to stick to the podcast. What did I write back?

[C]

I don't remember. I don't listen to your lies.

[A]

But what. What happened was Dave's dad faked his own death for insurance money, and now he's in. Now he's living in Michigan, and he started a landscaping company. He's never looked better. He stopped drinking. He wants to meet back up with Dave, but Dave keeps doing this whole thing about how I killed his dad. It's so stupid. And none of the fans think that it's.

[C]

You said, quiet, loser. Yeah, that's. That's what you answered me.

[A]

Totally real.

[B]

How did they get the insurance money?

[C]

Wait, wait, wait.

[A]

They call me.

[C]

Come out swinging, Anthony.

[A]

You know what they called your dad? Come out swigging.

[C]

My father's dead.

[A]

I know. Believe me.

[C]

You killed him.

[A]

I know.

[C]

What's up, Reynolds?

[B]

I can't tell if it's real.

[C]

It's real.

[B]

I feel like the insurance claims adjuster right now. I don't know if it's real or not.

[A]

David. Let's just say this, Andrea. Dave will be seeing his dad again very soon.

[C]

Jesus Christ. This just took a turn. Really upsetting. Andrew. Which one of your dogs would you

[A]

leave her dogs out of?

[C]

If you had to kill and eat one, which one would you kill?

[B]

Oh, definitely Sonia. But

[C]

look, I'm just gonna say a real. A true dawn dog owner knows which dog they would kill and eat first.

[B]

Yeah. I would eat and kill Sonia. And without being, you know.

[C]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

Yeah, that's just kind of. Now that's a crime. That's a crime of passion.

[C]

A passion. Yeah, it is. A crown of passion. Divorced. Yeah, you could just be hungry. There's no. There's no reason why you can't just eat your dog.

[A]

There are many reasons. Laws or gum. Principles.

[C]

Yeah. What's the difference between the dog and gum?

[A]

The thousand differences. I won't even list them.

[B]

One's more chewy, but I won't say which.

[A]

Oh, God, I think I know which.

[C]

And one is poisonous, but I won't say which. The pastimes is brought to you by him.

[A]

Oh, baby.

[C]

If something has been off in the old bedroom, you're not the only one. You're not alone in this. A lot of guys end Up. Waiting a little too long to take action. Sit on it as it get.

[A]

Get. Get in the game.

[C]

Get in the game. Because right now, treatment is super easy. Um, and it's through him. So it's 100% online. 100% online. At some point, you just gotta stop blaming stress or sleep or getting older, you know, and it's probably crossed your mind to do something about it.

[A]

So let's go.

[C]

You should do. You do something about it.

[A]

Do it.

[C]

You just complete a simple online intake, and a provider will review your information to determine if you're. If the treatment's right for you. And if prescribed, your treatment ships directly to your door in discreet packaging. Nobody knows.

[A]

No.

[C]

Having to go to a doctor to talk to anybody.

[A]

That's the. That's what makes it easy.

[C]

Don't have to leave your house.

[A]

Nope.

[C]

And look, this happens to a lot of people. It's not that big of a deal. What is a big deal is if you don't take care of it hurts your relationship, hurts your psyche hurts, you

[A]

know, and it seems like it's your fault, but it's not your fault.

[C]

It's a thing.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

It's a human body.

[A]

Got this.

[C]

So we do recommend you.

[A]

We are your best friends.

[C]

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[A]

Yeah, that's exactly right.

[C]

You, however, are.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[C]

Does that make sense? Does that make sense?

[A]

Yeah, babe.

[C]

Does that make sense?

[A]

Yeah, babe. And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[B]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[A]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[C]

Spring is calling weddings, patio sessions, barbecues, and you want that drink vibe without sacrificing tomorrow. That's RK Zero proof as the world's first first zero proof spirits brand, RK created the war molecule, giving you the smooth kick of whiskey or tequila with zero alcohol, zero calories, zero sugar, and all the peace of mind you need to enjoy every moment. Step into the zero proof season at rk0proof.com. Divorcee in Odd Affair weds again.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Ms. Gladys Baker Inman, who more than a year ago divorced Reverend Sharon Inman.

[A]

Is your dog stitching the old fashioned way, right?

[C]

She has tap shoes on him.

[A]

It's.

[B]

He, He. He got.

[A]

Are you doing some sort of Foley work over there with dog paws?

[B]

Okay. My dog's tail often functions as a metronome and that's what was happening. But even Barrett's didn't play, so he's out of frame now.

[A]

Good.

[C]

Well, he was shames a dog.

[A]

That's the one. I'd eat that fucking loud tail one.

[C]

He just. He's. That dog's just trying to mind his own business. He's coming through. And tap dog sounded like a top hat.

[A]

That dog could not have sounded fully and like eight miked more.

[B]

Oh, now he wants to say hello again.

[C]

Oh, there he is. I've seen it. I've seen that face many times. He's. That dog's all over Instagram. You'll get to know.

[A]

Okay, yeah.

[B]

Showing tail. I don't know.

[C]

Showing tail. He shows tail. Ms. Gladys Baker Iman, who more than a year ago divorced Reverend Sharon Iman, Presbyterian pastor, after the failure of a gallantly modern attempt to preserve her home by inviting her husband's sweetheart to share it.

[A]

Okay, so she invited another guy into the house.

[C]

No, I think she. I think. I think she invited his mistress in. I think that this is a poly situation. Or is it three Trinity? Is it three poly? Yeah, yeah, it's three poly. No, three would just be.

[B]

No, that's a party.

[A]

Could be three can be Polly.

[C]

Is it Polly?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. I don't know. I don't know that. I mean, Andrea has literally just left and gone to play. She's just gone. She's like, I'm gonna play with my dog now. And off she goes.

[A]

Yeah, it's Pol. Door closes. What? What?

[B]

My polycule was waiting outside and I had to let them in, you know,

[A]

I started Poly Poly Market, where you place bets on which couples are going to open their relationship up.

[B]

Oh, that's. That's a great idea. That was very funny and clever, Gareth.

[A]

Dave's laughing really hard. If you can see his camera, not

[C]

on the inside or outside.

[B]

I'm in a. I'm in a polycule, but none of us are. Have had sex in years.

[A]

That's. That's. I think that's a friend group.

[C]

The. The best poly relationships are the deadbed polycule. A deadbed polycule is the way to go.

[A]

A deadbed poly.

[C]

That's the way to go. Yeah. No, I'm okay. So after the failure.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Back to the news. So. So after the failure of an. A gallantly modern attempt to preserve her home by inviting her husband's sweetheart to share.

[A]

Okay. So is the Hail Mary.

[C]

So yeah. She's trying to keep the marriage together by bringing the mistress in.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That always works.

[C]

Was married here today to Clifford farmer of Willard, Missouri. 35 year old farmer and newspaper. He's a farmer who's a farmer and newspaper magazine writer.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

The strange situation in the Inman home was disclosed last spring when the preacher and the girl. Miss Pat Holdridge. Don't love the girl part left together. It's not a great way to say don't love that. Because it could be. Yeah.

[B]

Would you rather it said teen?

[A]

I'm not gonna answer your question.

[C]

I think you should.

[B]

That's an answer.

[C]

The two

[A]

and it's like a Chris Hansen question. Would you rather it have said teen?

[C]

Have you ever seen the one where Chris Hansen came in and this 10 is like you, what are you doing here? And the guy's like, I. I would just to meet the girl. And it turns out the kid said he was older, but he was actually 16. So he was meeting a girl his age.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

That's so that guy literally just went there for lemonade and he was like, I met Chris Hansen. I'm trying to get Chris Hansen next. We have so badly. Oh, because he's still doing the show. I know he's still doing the show just like on his own now at 4 and he's cooking.

[C]

He is good. Like people are watching it.

[A]

Yes. He's still do. Because the whole thing with that one was it was like, you know. Well, there was some weird that happened. I think there was some. But people were like it's entrapment and all that with gum. But you were like, this is. We're okay with this.

[C]

It's entrapment. But I'm okay with that entrapment.

[A]

This I don't want to like start pulling the threads on. But as.

[C]

As an older male, you. There's not a lot you could do except maybe put a gun to my head or kill my child.

[A]

To make me go, cops ruined a generation of people's brains online for on cops.

[C]

Yeah, it did.

[A]

But this, I'm okay with this one.

[C]

I'm okay with this one. No, cops is.

[A]

And also really bad. When that guy just sits there and houses a pizza. That's one of the greatest moments in television history.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Chris Hansen's like, so you came here to meet a 14 year old. The guy's just like, eats an entire pizza.

[C]

What would you do? That's the last pizza you're gonna have for a long time.

[A]

He must have known. He was like, if I present calm, they're not gonna arrest me. So I'll do what any man in this situation does. I'll eat an extra large pizza alone in 20 minutes.

[C]

I could do that.

[A]

Andrew, you've gone quiet. What's going on?

[C]

She was on. She was on.

[B]

I think someone has to take the other side just for it to be an interesting conversation. So that's what I'm doing.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, no, I get it. Someone's got to stand up for the guys trying to teens the little guy. Yeah, yeah. One guy killed himself.

[A]

That's. I didn't want to mention it, but you know what?

[C]

Okay. You went to a 15 year old off

[A]

Andrea Counterpoint.

[B]

I don't understand why they always have to do it in the kitchen.

[A]

Right?

[C]

It should be in the bedroom.

[A]

Okay, we're back to the paper. Go, Dave. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. Read anything, I'll make up a headline.

[C]

That's a writer's mind over there.

[A]

Literally make up a headline right now if you don't start reading man eats cigarettes for charity. Come on, let's go.

[C]

Two young women attended the Southwest Missouri State Teachers College together, while Ms. Holdridge lived in the Inman home.

[A]

Jesus Christ. Next article we're doing that. We're. It's definitely bad.

[C]

After the Inman divorce, Mr. Inman and Ms. Holder were married. So this is a happy story. Everyone got married to other people. The. The original wife is now married and happy. And it's a hand. The. The young. Whatever she is. Thirteen. Married.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

Other guy you don't know.

[A]

Why would you say 13?

[C]

Oh, Ms. Farmer has two children.

[B]

Sure. For her age, though, she was actually close.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you. Ms. Farmer has two children, Lowell Inman, 12, and Dennis Inman, 8.

[B]

Question.

[C]

Mr. Farmer has one.

[A]

Why did they name them that? Go ahead.

[B]

How did this become a story? Like, was there a neighbor who was like, this is what I think is happening. Can you publish it or did. Did a Member of the Polycule. This La Polycule. Leak the story to a reporter. Like, how did I think?

[A]

I think it's gossip. I think it's gossip.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Although it seems like we have confirmation. So maybe they were like, yeah, this is what we're doing.

[B]

Yeah. This is a non story. That's what they're saying to the reporter. This is a non story.

[A]

Yeah, this is a non story. This is called inclusivity and I am here for it.

[C]

The interesting part. The interesting part of the story to me is when the wife is being cheated on, she goes, well, just invite her to live here then. And then he does.

[A]

I mean, you probably just don't want to pack up boxes.

[B]

He wasn't great with, like, sarcasm.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I think she.

[B]

I think she said it like, well, why.

[A]

Why don't you just fight her over. So I talked to my wife.

[B]

Actually went a lot better than I thought it would.

[A]

She took it pretty good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So do you want to come live with us? What she do? Oh, yeah, of course. I was serious. Why don't we just bring her into the bedroom?

[B]

Come to find out, she just has kind of like a speech thing where she sounds like that and she was being earnest this whole time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why don't you rail her and I'll go down on your bum.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, no. I can't believe I married the only man who's deaf to sarcasm. Now I gotta do it. He doesn't understand hyperbole.

[C]

Well, you did say you would eat my ass. Gladys.

[A]

Jesus.

[C]

Robinson has appendix Still.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Physician attending physical. Robinson. Oh, as in Caruso. Physicians attending. William Albert Robinson, American writer and explorer. Stricken by appendicitis while on a honeymoon voyage in the remote Galapagos Island.

[A]

Honeymoon voyages where you're hunting for a wife. Just so you know.

[C]

Yeah. Galapagos Island. Yeah. My wife. I married the most giant wife. Beautiful turtle.

[A]

She'll outlive me, but that's okay.

[B]

She looks incredible for 186.

[A]

She's a beauty. Oh, she's got a hook on her foot.

[C]

Why do you gotta take it there? No one. No one here wanted to envision a turtle with a hook in his foot.

[A]

But then you take it out.

[B]

I was already envisioning it. I was already envisioning it. So it was sort of like a hat on top of a hat.

[A]

That's a. I. It makes me miss Dave's complaint.

[C]

A lot of people miss my complaint.

[B]

A lot of people are calling me New Dave.

[A]

Yeah, I saw that.

[B]

Old Dave faked his death for the insurance money.

[A]

Yeah. Now he's living with his dad on a farm. They're shirtless, giving each other belly high fives. That's where they run into each other's tummies in the air.

[B]

It's to stay warm.

[C]

Hey, can you not do the weird incest stuff with me and my dad?

[B]

It's platonic.

[A]

It's not incest. You guys are celebrating bailing hay.

[C]

Look, by the way, to adult father son David Combo. Rubbing their tummies together is not rubbing and inherently sexual.

[A]

Running and jumping like it's Top Gun.

[B]

Something to do with the automobile, bringing that industry back. You're in Michigan. It's not sexual.

[C]

That's exactly bringing the automobile industry back.

[B]

I think it'll attract kind of like car makers.

[A]

Hold on.

[C]

By running around with our stomachs out.

[A]

Dave. Dave. Hey, buddy.

[B]

You're not running around.

[A]

No, let me talk to you. You guys just fixed the hot rod. You're excited about it that weekend. You're going out on the town to meet chicks together in a purely celebratory jump. Belly bounce. You guys, you've had your shirts off, you're all oiled up. You run towards each other and you make eye contact. And you know, this is not a high five situation. This is a midair one of those. And you guys do one of those.

[C]

I guess my problem is that you have us coming.

[A]

Yeah, well, how would you not.

[B]

You need this win.

[A]

This is a huge win for you, Dave.

[C]

That doesn't even make sense.

[A]

You're down and out. You need this more than you know.

[B]

You know what you two say after the belly thumb look at each other and you go, we needed this.

[A]

Yeah, that is exactly right. That is exactly right. Go ahead. But that is exactly what's going on.

[C]

I just said.

[A]

And then your dad puts his arm around you, and then you kind of. He muscles up your hair. But we're behind you for this shot. Sun's kind of coming down. And he muscles up your hair, and you kind of shake it off. But then you kind of go back into him a little. We know you guys are having a good time. When you get in the house. When you get in the house, you're having more fun.

[C]

I used to be in writer and an actor on a TV show.

[A]

Yeah, well, you. Yeah, that's what. That's what she means. You're down and out. Things are terrible now.

[C]

Okay? So.

[A]

It's awesome.

[C]

Doctors disclosed today they had not been able to remove his diseased appendix.

[A]

Oh, right.

[C]

So it would be a Bad honeymoon.

[A]

It would be, but you got to see the turtles, you know? She was probably like, you've been really in a bad mood the whole time. He's like, let's. Let's go do the rock climbing thing today.

[C]

I have fire belly.

[B]

Can I say something? Yeah, sorry. It sounds like anti science. Seems like removing an appendix one of the easier things to do as a doctor.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How do you know?

[A]

Well, I mean, the year is 1933. 1933. It feels like they would know.

[C]

Andy, what is dabbling in being a doctor mean? Exactly.

[A]

That's what RFK is doing.

[B]

Being like a CNA or something.

[C]

So you. Okay. She dabbles in it.

[A]

I think that's fair.

[C]

Did you think that's fair?

[A]

Yeah. A lot of people are dabbling now, and we've never had more measles.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So you're welcome.

[C]

That doesn't sound like it backs it up.

[A]

I like going into a place, being like, can I touch the surfaces? That's exciting. Life's exciting again. You go into a crowded room and you go, wow, should I be breathing? That's awesome.

[B]

You're not gonna get measles if you're vaccinated against measles, right?

[A]

True. That's why I've got a vaccine.

[B]

You're revealing something right now.

[A]

No, it's that I took a vaccine to get rid of the vaccine.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Patel sells it on his website. You could get the vaccine. To take the measles vaccine, I would

[B]

have to get 40. You have to spend $49 to get free shipping. So I haven't done it yet.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So worth it, though.

[C]

But the Unvax is really good.

[A]

It's. My God.

[C]

The vaxxing naval officers who flew from the Canal Zone to the island.

[A]

I call it a vaccine. Go ahead. That should trend, though.

[C]

I was reading.

[A]

No, I know, but that was a good joke. I needed to get it out.

[C]

That was really great.

[A]

I know, but the joke was no

[B]

one knows how to spell it.

[A]

We'll fix it in post. Go ahead, babe.

[C]

Naval officers who flew from the Canal Zone to the islands where Robinson lay aboard his tiny honeymoon Catch. Merely made an incision to drain off the poison. It was explained.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Wait, so it just leaks poison in there?

[A]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[C]

But I knew. But I thought it just leaked poison when it broke.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's what I thought happened.

[C]

Oh, so maybe it's broke.

[A]

I think. Yeah, I think it.

[C]

Well, then you don't. You die fast when you're pretty.

[A]

Critics burst yeah, it's not great.

[C]

So they just went in there like, all right, let's make a hole.

[A]

Yeah. And then they were like, oh, shit. And then they pulled it out. Yeah. You got to hurry.

[C]

This guy's. I. This guy had to have died.

[B]

Well, eventually it was 1933, so that.

[A]

Yeah, he's definitely no longer with us. 33, definitely no longer with us.

[B]

I mean, I heard that he actually died of a broken heart, not the appendix.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

That's crazy. That's what they say. Dave's dad died from the first time. Even though it's fake. So

[B]

laughing matter.

[A]

It's not funny. I mean, you snickered or that or

[C]

your tweet was running or something.

[B]

It's like one of those things where you laugh through your nose. You're like,

[A]

do it again.

[C]

Between night 1928 and 1931, he circumnavigated the world.

[A]

Who did?

[C]

This guy.

[A]

This guy did.

[C]

Later on the same ship, he sailed to the Galapagos Islands to shoot a nature film, but suffered a perforated appendix on the spot. While recuperating, he lost his yacht to Ecuador. He settled in Tahiti.

[A]

Wow. That is a life. Wow, that's awesome. Settling is the end.

[C]

He lived. I love that. Ecuador is like, yeah, we're gonna take that.

[A]

If you settle in Tahiti, no problem. Where is Tahiti? Anyone know? Is it real? Is it like Atlantis?

[B]

I think it's right next to.

[C]

That's a good point.

[A]

It's fair.

[C]

VRBO makes it easy to claim your dream summer spot with early booking deals

[D]

from homes with pools to poolside loungers.

[C]

When you book a vrbo, you don't have to reserve any loungers.

[D]

They're all yours.

[A]

All you have to do is book

[C]

early book with vrbo.

[D]

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[C]

Farmer loses Ford suit for lifetime job. Philo M. Farmer loses Ford suit

[A]

Like Henry Ford costumes.

[C]

Why didn't you say so?

[A]

Yeah, that's my point.

[C]

Philo m. Lossing a 85 year old Kalkaska county farmer who Costco used to

[A]

be the better Sam's Club back then. Go ahead.

[C]

Farmer who said he sold two prize oxen to Henry Ford at a bargain price in return for a lifetime job for caring for them today, lost his suit for 25 000, which he claimed for back wages.

[B]

Okay, but Henry Ford could afford this, so he should just give it.

[C]

I'm sorry, Henry Ford could.

[B]

What Henry Ford could afford to do to give away that money, so he should. So I don't really care if this

[A]

guy does have a Hamilton Cadence.

[B]

Also, he wasn't. He was.

[A]

Only Henry Ford could afford. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

What are we doing right now? The great Henry Ford.

[A]

Come on. Henry Ford.

[C]

The car. We're talking about the car maker, Henry Ford.

[B]

He was a good guy.

[A]

Yeah, that's better.

[C]

What the.

[A]

You're thinking of Pontiac. You're thinking of John Pontiac. Yeah. John Pontiac was the anti Semite.

[C]

I tell you what, if you're gonna make a car, if you're gonna make cars that nice, it's okay to be a little.

[A]

A little Pontiacs. Pontiac is a luxury automobile.

[C]

How do we get Volkswagen?

[A]

How do we get BMW Pontiacs still.

[B]

They don't make them.

[A]

I'm. I'm making Pontiacs.

[C]

I feel like all cars should be named after Native American people.

[A]

Completely agree.

[B]

Yeah, I hear they eat every part of the car.

[A]

All right, that's it. Thanks everybody. That's the episode. That's the episode, everybody.

[B]

I said I heard it. I didn't say I saw it.

[A]

That's the end of this one.

[C]

Jamie, is that true?

[A]

I'm looking up right now. Run it through AI.

[B]

That's an excellent point. Amazing.

[C]

Great job, Andrea. Well done. Wow.

[A]

It's official.

[C]

Okay. So a lot. So I don't really understand this. He. He sold his oxen to Henry Ford.

[A]

Yeah. And Henry, he was gonna give him.

[C]

Give him a job to take care of him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's just a weird transaction.

[A]

Well, it's like it's, you know, have credit.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

He, Henry Ford buys them and then the guy's like, the only difference is they're yours. I'll still take care of them. And Henry Ford's like, okay.

[C]

And he's like, and you'll pay me?

[A]

Yeah. And he was like, yep. And he's like, idiot.

[C]

Old man Lawson said he was prom.

[B]

Why does Henry Ford want or need oxen? Did his car break down?

[A]

He was sick of horsepower.

[B]

Good job.

[C]

Well, we'll be right back on the Bubblegum Rapper Joke podcast.

[A]

Bubblegum Joke Rocker podcast is brought to you by Rugged Money.

[C]

Lassig said he was promised a lifetime job caring for the two animals when he sold them to Ford for 300. The price, he asserted, was only the beef value, while the oxen were valued exhibition animals.

[A]

85 year old man. He only paid me the beef value.

[C]

That's for the meat part.

[A]

But that there's. There's also the exhibition rate.

[C]

They're look. They're looking oxy.

[A]

The judge was just like, we're done here. He only paid the beef wage.

[C]

The beauties.

[B]

You're making fun of him. Meanwhile, his body is probably still warm.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Are you talking about the.

[A]

Were you listening to the story or did you just say something you thought would say? Save that at the end there. I feel like you're petting your dog and you just. Are you making.

[C]

Are you making origami right now?

[A]

I feel like you have poetry magnets on the table and you're just like, piecing them together and saying that whatever you come up with, you're just shaking them.

[B]

It's a limerick.

[A]

I don't believe it. To be a limerick.

[B]

There once was a limerick from Nantucket. That's how it starts.

[A]

Wait a minute. No, no, no. That would be. What is the guy's name?

[B]

Henry Ford.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's it.

[C]

Minute makeups by Vivi always use a vivid lipstick with dark glasses. Colored glasses in the summer are apt to dominate your face and make it expressionless. Draw attention to your mouth with lipstick and you will find that your face has a mysterious veiled appearance that is appealing.

[A]

That. That is ad is 1100 written by a man.

[C]

It's not an ad. It's just a lady's advice.

[A]

100 written by a man.

[C]

Do you, Andrea, do you wear.

[A]

Ladies, highlight your mouth. Don't be stupid.

[C]

Get that mouth out there. Especially if you got the glasses on.

[A]

The glasses are covering up your face. Let's see the mouth.

[B]

Do I wear.

[A]

Maybe it's Maybelline.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Do you wear vivid lipstick when you have on dark glasses?

[B]

It depends on who I'm following that evening.

[C]

Well, that's fair.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

It's a wild.

[C]

Yes. The darker the lipstick, the more vivid. The darker my glasses, the more vivid my lipstick. Like, I'll do like the fluorescent, but

[B]

the more darker the glasses.

[A]

The fluorescent pink. Do you say you wear dark and you said fluorescent pink?

[C]

If I have. If I have really dark fluorescent pink. Yeah.

[A]

Or a bright yellow. You can barely tell.

[C]

I might do a bright yellow lipstick.

[A]

I look like I ate a glow stick at a rave. I don't want anyone to know what I'm up to.

[C]

I'm starting to get into raves.

[A]

Maybe go back to the paper and.

[C]

Are you a big raver? Right.

[B]

Yes and no.

[C]

By the way, that's not an answer. Jellied cheese salad.

[B]

Trying to eat two.

[A]

Is that a former rapper turned country singer?

[C]

Two tablespoons granulated gelatin, four tablespoons cold water. One cupful water boiling.

[A]

So far. Okay. So far we're jello.

[C]

1/2 cupful adhor sheet cream cheese.

[A]

That's where you lose me.

[C]

One half cup.

[A]

Actually, I'm still in.

[C]

One half cupful Genuine Roquefort.

[A]

Two Roquefort.

[C]

What's Roquefort cheese?

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Two tablespoons lemon juice, one half food teaspoonful, one half full teaspoonful salt, one half teaspoonful paprika, one cupful diced celery, two tablespoons chopped green peppers. Two tables.

[A]

This is bad.

[C]

Now chopped pimentos. One couple whipped cream.

[A]

Now bad. It's bad.

[C]

What the are you doing with whipped

[A]

cream on it was close.

[B]

You know why I could never make this? Because I would see 2 tablespoons lemon juice and I'd accidentally do 2 teaspoons lemon juice.

[A]

That's why. That's what. That's your bump in this.

[C]

Everything I just listed. That's the thing.

[A]

Not enough lemon.

[B]

Well, I just. I always mess those up and I. I do agree.

[A]

I do agree. I often have to go can remember this one's a tablespoon.

[B]

Yeah. Because everything's abbreviated.

[A]

Yeah, I don't like it. They should come up with a completely different name for it.

[B]

It was the Great Depression.

[A]

Get the spoon out of there.

[B]

They couldn't afford to spell out everything, so it was probably like tablespoon.

[A]

All right, let's play true or false. My mother brought a spoon home that she found on the ground.

[B]

Yes, that would. It seems very reasonable because you just wash it and that way you can eat your lettuce.

[C]

His mom's a hobo.

[A]

She Didn't. But she thought about it strongly. She told me, I haven't heard the

[B]

word hobo in so long.

[A]

I think you need to see my mother. My mother's a hobo.

[C]

Your mom has a stick with the bindle stick?

[A]

Yeah, she's. Oh, yeah. She tosses it in the train and she's like, got to keep up.

[C]

So your mom came home from a walk and told you she saw a spoon and really thought about bringing it home.

[A]

Yeah, that's a mouth that she didn't. And when she didn't. Easy. And when she didn't, I said, good, because you know who drops a spoon on the ground?

[C]

Hobo.

[A]

Someone who's probably using heroin. And she went, oh, I hadn't thought of that.

[C]

What about.

[B]

You don't want her getting free heroin. That stuff's, like, expensive now.

[A]

I don't want her getting spoons from the ground. And yeah, as a matter of fact, I don't want her on heroin. I mean, you saw what Dave's dad went through. Dave's dad had to fake his own death so that they could belly jump on a farm together.

[B]

You're clearly not a raver in this

[C]

podcast we played where you admitted to killing my father.

[A]

Your dad's alive.

[B]

He did a back him.

[A]

He's never been better. He's doing clap push ups.

[C]

5 cent beer. Hopes dashed by brewers. Is that a Fresno consumers would like to get there.

[A]

You don't need to tell me.

[C]

Beer for 5 cents a glass.

[B]

Fresno has always been what it is now then as well.

[A]

Yeah, even then. Fresno is like.

[C]

It's never stopped being. Fresno consumers would like to get their beer for 5 cents a glass, and the brewers would like to be able to provide it at that price, but it can't be done. Done.

[A]

Okay, this is a weird story. This is not a story. Yeah, the story is like no to a fantasy.

[C]

So nothing happened.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

This is the declaration of MM Con of San Francisco, Secretary of the California State Brewers Association. The present federal and state taxes of $5.62 a barrel and high cost of ingredients, making it possible for Bruce to sell beer at a price that will put it on the retail market for 5 cents a glass. Approximately 40 brewers attended the meeting. One of them, Jim, at which various problems of the industry, including standard standardization of prices and other similar matters were discussed. Dave, that was not a story. That was literally not a story.

[A]

The only highlight is when Andrea whispered into the microphone with a sigh, I wish I could help softly to herself,

[C]

you want to be able to help what do you want to help them?

[A]

You want to help these 1934 brewers get it down to five sets of glass.

[C]

Who do you want to help? Do you want to help the. The brewers or even know.

[A]

She just wants to be. She wants to just be inserted into the situation like some type of. Just like some Michelob time traveler.

[C]

Are you.

[A]

Are you upset that it's called Miller Time Machine?

[C]

Are you upset there's conflict and you want to solve it?

[A]

Yeah. She. She feels bad for everyone.

[B]

I love healthy competition and it frustrates me. It hurts my heart when they can't give the consumer what they want, but they want to, but they can't.

[A]

We've talked about many awful things in this paper. This is the one that's got you. Beer's not 5 cents a glass.

[C]

She's just unreliable.

[A]

There was a throuple with a teen.

[B]

They all worked it out in the end.

[A]

I don't think they did.

[B]

Well, that's not the story I heard from Dave.

[A]

This one was the one that pulled at your heartstrings. I just wish I could get back there.

[B]

I just think this one had really good intentions all around. And I want to see all my

[A]

friends get along and your friends in today's world. Are you talking about those friends that you don't have back then?

[B]

My friends back then were. Are still my friends today because I'm a. I'm a Day One er. I'm a die hard friend and fan of the show. Thanks for having me.

[A]

You're welcome. What happened? You're welcome. What happened? You're very welcome. It's great that you let her cook. I'm actually gonna take the ladle away. The cooking's over. The stove is off. There will be no more cooking.

[B]

I found a spoon and some lettuce on the ground, so I'm actually going to continue cooking.

[A]

Who wants heroin? Cabbage.

[C]

Oh, I found a way to eat. Oh, I found a way to eat lettuce.

[A]

That's nice. As I'd watched the lettuce crawl up her arm. I think he should have chopped that more. Oh, it's fine. I like it thick.

[C]

Also, who's just throwing a bag of lettuce on the ground?

[A]

Someone definitely dropped it. Someone definitely dropped it. We don't know

[C]

who drops lettuce. It doesn't notice. They dropped lettuce.

[B]

You ever see a shoe on the ground? Just a single shoe and you go, yeah.

[A]

Yes. How?

[B]

Okay, I was joking. I've never seen that.

[C]

God damn. You walked right into that.

[A]

You did too.

[C]

I was playing with her, and you were the victim.

[A]

Super weird stuff from Dave over here. I'm glad.

[B]

I prefer the term survivor, but yeah.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Baby falls into lie.

[A]

All right, do the paper.

[B]

That was before Hemingway's baby shoes. It was kind of like a creative writing context contest.

[C]

Yes, this is.

[B]

Of course it makes sense.

[A]

That's why this is a Stockton one.

[C]

This is a stocking story. Of course.

[A]

Because, Andrew, you're probably gonna feel a lot of empathy for this one.

[C]

Where else would it happen?

[B]

We'll see.

[C]

Falling into a barrel of boiling lie. Well, this isn't gonna go.

[A]

So. Now, remember, you just heard a story about people trying to get beer down at 5 cent. It tore your heart apart. This baby fell into boiling lie. I haven't heard a thing about you wanting to get back there.

[C]

It's not a baby.

[B]

That baby was no angel.

[C]

Thank you. Yeah. What was the baby doing?

[A]

Wait. Okay, keep reading.

[B]

Let's see if this be dressed like that.

[A]

What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

[B]

It was topless. It was a topless baby. That.

[A]

You don't know that. And also, babe, don't call a baby without a shirt topless ever again.

[B]

You want me to call it a clothed baby and lie?

[A]

Just say it doesn't have a shirt on. You don't call babies topless.

[C]

I do all the time because I go to a strip club called Topless Babies. Dave, we'll be with you in one sec.

[A]

Sorry, five minutes. It's a different day. It's next guest.

[B]

Dave, what's happening? Also, hi, Dave.

[C]

Don't you worry about it, Dave.

[A]

It's been a whole thing. Hi, Dave.

[C]

I guess we should wrap this one up.

[A]

Yeah, we got it. That's. That's our sign to leave Andrea. Wow.

[B]

I'm.

[C]

That's how we do it here. We. We literally have the next person come in and you're just gone. You're out.

[A]

Why don't you. Dave, you'll stick around for this story? Dave. Tell. Tell Dave. Other Dave this story in Andrea. And. And Dave, you tell me if you have any empathy for this baby, as you should, and then I'll tell you that Andrea feels no empathy for this baby.

[C]

Okay? The headline is Baby falls into lie. Falling into a barrel of. Of boiling lie. Areita Espinosa. Four years of age. Not a baby.

[A]

Doesn't matter.

[C]

Brought at this point. Now she's a liar. Suffered probably fatal burns today. Probably. She fell into boiling water.

[B]

I'm just doing the math, because if this was 1933. That 4 year old is like 20 for 1933 age.

[C]

She's right.

[B]

So, yeah, definitely not a baby.

[C]

Not a baby, Dave. I'm gonna actually call her a hussy, but go ahead, Dave. Other day. Wait, I'm gonna now summon my second self.

[A]

Why?

[C]

Why do you have no empathy for the baby? It sounds like a son of a. Am I wrong?

[A]

Wait me Pretty dark. I don't know, Garrett. That's what you said, right? That Andrea has no sympathy. Yeah, Andrea and Dave are. Are roasting.

[B]

Okay, I. Well, I'm with Dave. I'm with Dave. A. That it's like long Dave to align yourself names that. It's not a baby. It's a four year old which in 1933 is like 20.

[C]

Oh, I see. Thank you.

[A]

I see. It still does. It's still not okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still not a baby.

[B]

For today's time or for 1933. Time.

[A]

All right, well, Andrea, listen, it's. It's been a tough ending to a great episode.

[B]

It's. It's so hard to say goodbye.

[A]

Thank you for joining us, Andrea. And Dave. And Dave. Anthony. I don't know how I got in here, but it's good to see you, Andrea.

[B]

How's New York?

[A]

It's great. I love it. This whole thing's like chat roulette. Thank you, Andrea. Appreciate it. Hey, it's Gareth again. Just a quick drop in. I'm just telling you all, I have a talk show I'm doing with all things comedy. It's called Almost Live. You can watch it on my YouTube. My YouTube, my YouTube channel, which is Gareth Reynolds TV. April 15th at 11:00am Pacific Time. Gareth Reynolds TV. Almost live. We have guests like Matt Lillard, Steph Tola, Francesca Fiorentini, Justin Williman. It goes on and on. I said Matt Lillard. Right, of course I did. I'm excited about him. Jim Jeffries. It goes on and on. So go to Gareth Reynolds TV April 15th and beyond to watch almost live. Gareth Reynolds TV.