182 - The Past Times with Nick Cody

Summary

The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds Episode 182: The Past Times with Nick Cody
Release Date: July 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of "The Past Times," comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by the affable Australian comic Nick Cody. The trio dives into a newspaper from August 8, 1929, riffing on bizarre stories, cross-cultural oddities, and plenty of personal anecdotes. Fast-paced banter, irreverent tangents, and recurring jokes abound as they react to the strange realities of yesteryear and the quirks of modern living. The episode delivers sharp humor, cultural commentary, and memorable insights into everything from imitation crab to Australian radio, legal absurdity, and failed medical advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. Loose Units, Brawls, and Aussie Slang

[00:02 - 04:53]

• Nick Cody's "Loose Unit" Brand: The episode starts with the running joke about Nick's status as a "loose unit," a quintessentially Aussie descriptor for someone a bit wild or unpredictable.
• Raising Two Boys: Nick shares that daily life with two sons means "every day is fighting," so sending them to gymnastics is a strategy for burning off surplus energy.
• Imitation Crab Confusion: American and Australian food vernacular clash over "seafood sticks"—with Nick explaining Australian crab sticks, Dave insisting on "fish sticks," and Gareth feigning horror at both (03:05).
  • Quote:
    Nick Cody [02:07]: "Seafood extender is that shitty crab meat that you can get from supermarkets that people put in with other seafood dishes. Just sort of fill it out, you know."

2. The Life of Nick Cody: Comedy, Touring, Radio, and Bacchanalia

[04:16 - 07:14]

• Comedy and Podcasting (Mid Flight Brawl): Nick’s podcast examines fights on flights. The timing was uncanny, launching just before COVID-19 led to a spike in air rage.
  • Surprising American Content: Many incidents come from North Carolina. Nick jokes, “I don’t know if it’s a Ric Flair thing, but something’s happening over there.” [06:14]
• Tour Life and Family Balance: Nick reflects on stepping back from full-length touring due to family but eventually feeling the itch to return, accepting the toll of early mornings and gigs.
  • Quote:
    "You just got to do it. And accept that I will die early." — Nick Cody [04:37]

3. Radio Antics, The Real-Life Kenny Powers & International Mayhem

[06:55 - 08:09]

• Morning Radio Madness: Nick describes his radio colleague, Brendan Favola, as "real life Kenny Powers" (the unhinged anti-hero from "Eastbound & Down") with legendary banishment stories.
  • Quote:
    "He got kicked out of Queensland and Ireland for drinking too much." — Nick Cody [07:16]
  • Nick recounts how Favola once got a bartender in a headlock in Galway, prompting his deportation from Ireland.

4. COVID Stories and Returning to ‘Normal’

[08:38 - 10:09]

• Pandemic Tales: The comics swap stories about quarantine, giving up alcohol, and Australia’s severe lockdowns versus more relaxed Queensland rules.
  • Quote:
    "Melbourne, you couldn't leave the house. And Queensland were like, you can only have 30 people at a house party." — Nick Cody [09:53]

5. Guess the Newspaper Year & Poker Faces

[10:10 - 12:19]

• Dave challenges Nick and Gareth to estimate the newspaper’s year; Nick comes deceptively close with his 1923 guess (actual: 1929). Dave and Gareth riff about poker faces and suppressed emotions—a recurring theme linked to childhood trauma.
  • Quote:
    Dave Anthony [11:02]: "I can do no emotion no matter what's happening."
    Gareth Reynolds [11:39]: "Because of that, I'm a really good poker player."
  • Nick jokes his own childhood trauma led to becoming a "better alcoholic" than his parents.

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6. Drinking in the U.S. vs. Australia & Free-Pour Hazards

[12:24 - 13:02]

• Nick highlights the perils of America’s free-pour liquor policy—accidentally getting more drunk than intended. This segues into confessions about outgrowing heavy drinking.
  • Quote:
    "Now, if I have three beers, my head is a blimp." — Nick Cody [12:15]

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7. Miami Herald, Law, and the American Legal System

[13:15 - 18:09]

• Absurd Miami Herald Stories: The gang reads about a gambler fined for sending a proxy to court, then riffs on American versus Australian courts (family court banter).
• Litigation Nation: Nick and Gareth joke about how litigious Americans are, with Dave revealing he’s being sued for $2 million—over an $80 car accident.
  • Quote:
    Dave Anthony [16:08]: "I'm being sued right now for $2 million."
• Billboard Lawyers: Nick laments America’s abundance of billboard attorneys (“I am law”).

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8. Scarface, Outback Steakhouse & American Stereotypes

[19:24 - 21:04]

• Nick admits to having a Scarface poster as a teen. Gareth jokes about having Crocodile Dundee, and the hosts parody mutual cultural misconceptions.
• Discussions about Yahoo Serious and the melancholy fate of '80s icons.

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9. Survey Shows Women Cause Few Accidents

[28:56 - 31:13]

• The hosts lampoon a 1929 article claiming women cause only 5% of car accidents—explaining with biting irony that this likely correlates with women not being allowed to drive.
  • Quote:
    "This is like 10 years ago saying in Saudi Arabia, women have caused no car accidents." — Dave Anthony [29:32]
• Tangents on "big spark plug" conspiracy theories and how old toys like "Guess Who?" had sexist elements.

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10. Sunlight Cures Blindness?

[31:55 - 47:30]

• The trio reads a bizarre story about a man who claims prolonged sun exposure restored his sight, resulting in much improvisational absurdity about snake-oil cures.
  • Quote:
    Gareth Reynolds [41:06]: "There's a sick, sick wizard down there. He's got some potions."
• Plenty of jokes about "beta-soy boy" science deniers, sunburned visionaries, and the ever-present danger of DIY medical advice.

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11. Pajama-Clad Aviators & Oddball News

[50:00 - 51:00]

• A tale about an Oklahoma oilman touring America by air, in pajamas, inspires riffs on privilege, attention-seeking, and the low bar for “news” in 1929.

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12. 13-Month Calendar, Time-Travel, and Metric System Rants

[53:01 - 58:26]

• The Calendar Debacle: Cuba considers a 13-month, 28-day-per-month calendar. The gang explores why this idea failed, metric system inconsistencies, and strange date experiences in Thailand.
  • Quote:
    Nick Cody [54:49]: "The current Thai year is 2569. Buddhist era. But I just saw June 4, 2569. I'm like, 'Ah, wait, what am I, the new Encino Man?'"

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13. Boeing, Planes, and American Weight Crisis

[58:26 - 62:41]

• Old news touts Boeing’s innovative passenger planes with only 18 seats—leading to observations about modern airline misery and America’s growing waistline.
  • Quote:
    Nick Cody [61:06]: "They hadn't adjusted the average American weight."
• Comedic forensic analysis of why early planes crashed—culprits: “sausage mitts” and “Cheeto dust.”

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14. Brightest American Boy & The Perils of Genius

[64:03 - End]

• The paper announces a prodigy destined to be “the next Edison,” prompting the hosts to joke about wedgies, the perils of precocity, and the hazards of being a child genius.
  • Quote:
    Dave Anthony [65:21]: "The mere fact of his selection, the undeserving process of spoiling to which he will be subjected, could make that impossible."
  • Gareth: "For every 13-year-old that goes to Harvard, there’s some guy who smoked enough weed out of a Diet Pepsi can to not know what a president was." [65:48]

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Notable Quotes

• “You just got to do it. And accept that I will die early.” — Nick Cody [04:37]
• “He got kicked out of Queensland and Ireland for drinking too much.” — Nick Cody [07:16]
• “This is like 10 years ago saying in Saudi Arabia, women have caused no car accidents.” — Dave Anthony [29:32]
• “I am law. I am the f***ing law. I ate my own poop.” — Gareth Reynolds (riffing on billboard lawyers) [17:42]
• “I cured my own vision. Excuse me? I sucked a wizard's d*** on a bay.” — Gareth Reynolds [45:39]

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Great Running Gags

• The dangers of Australian food (crab sticks) vs. Outback Steakhouse.
• American legal excess and billboard lawyers.
• Nick’s trajectory from loose unit to responsible dad—and back.
• Sun worship as a “scientific” cure.
• Trash food confessions and the universality of deep-fried garbage.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:02] — Introduction, ‘Loose Unit’ banter, Nick Cody enters
• [03:05] — Outback Steakhouse/seafood sticks debate
• [06:14] — North Carolina as the home of air rage
• [09:53] — Comparing Australian lockdowns by state
• [11:02] — Poker face and emotional deadness
• [16:08] — Dave reveals $2M lawsuit
• [28:56] — “Survey Shows Women Cause Few Accidents”
• [32:01] — The “sunlight cures blindness” news item
• [41:06] — “There’s a sick wizard down there” sun cure riff
• [50:00] — Pajama-clad aviator story
• [54:49] — Nick realizes Thailand runs on the Buddhist calendar
• [61:06] — Plane crashes blamed on increased American weight
• [64:03] — “The brightest American boy” and the Edison successor

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Takeaway

This episode delivers quintessential "Dollop" chaos: sharp-witted commentary on historical absurdities, the joy of cultural differences, and hilarious, self-deprecating confessions. Whether you want to understand why Nick Cody feels at home discussing crab sticks, or need your faith in the 20th-century legal system further shaken, Dave and Gareth—with Nick’s Aussie flair—provide another hour of off-the-wall podcasting gold.

Transcript

[Gareth Reynolds]

Welcome to the Past times. It's a podcast. Someone's finally doing it. You know, we do here each week we go through newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest, the great loose unit, Nick Cody.

[Dave Anthony]

Nick, are you still a loose unit?

[Nick Cody]

Hey, very loose unit. I'm waiting for my 4 year old to get home from gymnastics. Very loose. What a loose unit I am now.

[Dave Anthony]

Gymnastics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What?

[Dave Anthony]

I just didn't expect that. I think he'd have some sort of thing where they'd be running into each other really hard or that he tried

[Gareth Reynolds]

that and then they were like, nah, they don't lock the beam.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sure he has his boys. His boys doing slap fights.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, his kids are definitely.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are we doing with the boys, Nick?

[Nick Cody]

Two boys. That's every day. No, two fight. Yeah, two boys. Every day is fighting. So it's good for them to do other activities as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, speaking of fighting, you have a podcast called Mid Fight Brawl with the great Luke Heggie, who is. I love Brawl.

[Nick Cody]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a great guy. And you guys do this show together and you talk about you. You talk about yourselves and each other and, and brawls on flights and things of that nature. And, and how did that start and who came up with the title and who's the fan favorite?

[Nick Cody]

Well, fan favorite would be Luke Heggy is the ultimate. I'm just there. I'm like Seafood Extender. I'm just there to sort of fill out the manifesto that he writes each week now to get it longer than a few minutes and make sure that the feds don't the door in. But are you held up? They're happening all the time.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you held up where I am?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're both.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we're American. So when you say things like seafood extender stops us in our tracks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And we like that you use it as a shorthand. And we're excited to hear that. What we think it is is what it is. What is it, Nick?

[Nick Cody]

I always. Seafood extended. That shitty crab meat that you can get from supermarkets that people put in with other seafood dishes. Just sort of fill it out, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So are we saying that people are mixing the fake crab meat in with the real crab meat and it's just kind of a way to.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah, it's like imitation, imitation crab. And people. You use it. It's like in seafood. I don't know. Do you get seafood sticks over there?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sorry, what did you just do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hopefully, hopefully that makes its way here someday. We don't have seafood sticks.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it's talking about fish sticks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fish sticks.

[Dave Anthony]

We call them fish sticks here.

[Nick Cody]

No, no, fish. Not fish fingers. This is like a crab stick. This is like a fake crab stick. A deep fried crab stick, but with imitation crab.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where, by the way, I didn't realize what we were doing at Outback Steakhouse was a better representation for you guys.

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a horrible. That is a war crime.

[Nick Cody]

Outback Steakhouse is a disgrace. But crab sticks. Get around it. Next time you're in Australia, have a go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will not. I know. We'll be on tour and it'll be important that we don't have diarrhea. Know.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't come on to an American show and talk shit about the blooming onion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't. You don't come on to an American show and gross us out with fried food. That is not allowed. I don't even know. That shouldn't be possible.

[Dave Anthony]

It should not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you also.

[Nick Cody]

I've been to the US maybe 15 times and I've never been to an Outback Steakhouse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're not allowed. We don't allow Aussies in there.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think I've ever been to one either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If an Aussie went to an Outback Steakhouse, they'd be too mad. We can't have that happen.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's. It's like. It's like when there's a time. A time travel movie and the two people are in the same place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

At the same time. They can't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They can't. Australians get tased and dragged out of

[Dave Anthony]

there when they go in there, we'll taste the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is an absolute. And a bora. This is an aberration. Get him out of here. We got a real one. We got a real one. Crab sticks. Punching security. Give me a crib stick.

[Nick Cody]

Dimmies or crabs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then your show, Crusher. You're touring around Australia. Australia with Crusher. Where can people get tickets and information on that?

[Nick Cody]

Very well. First through all atthecentury.com Crushes going everywhere.

[Dave Anthony]

Nick, how do you have the time to put together a show when you have to get up at 4:00am or whatever?

[Nick Cody]

Yeah, it's a bit silly. Well, it took a few years. I had a few years off proper touring and then it got to the point where I was like this. I want to do it again. Do it. You just got to do it. And accept that I will die early. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was. Was the plan that you were going to take. You were going to kind of not do it for a little while because of your family?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the show. He's got a. He's a radio show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right. But was that sort of the plan you were going to take time off from now, during.

[Nick Cody]

I kept doing. I was doing spots all the time, just not a. Just, just not a full hour. And to me that's the, that's the most fun. Plus touring means I'm away from everyone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And then we know. We've seen you away.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, when he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you know, he's.

[Dave Anthony]

I watched him jump off a hotel roof into a pool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He'd like. He brings the. He's. He's a good time. Cody's a long time ago. That was six months ago.

[Unidentified Speaker 1]

Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Leave him alone. So people should go watch your show. Yeah, I bet.

[Nick Cody]

Please do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I definitely like. Nick's the kind of guy. When you

[Nick Cody]

started Mid Flight Brawl at the start of 2020 and two months later, Covid kicked off and then there were the most air rage incidents of all time, like combined history. There were more air raids incidents in two years. So we got there like start of the Gold Rush, you know, and what a time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they haven't stopped. I mean, they have not stopped. And you must be very thankful to have America as a resource because we have. They're basically. I mean, it's really where people go to lose their shit.

[Nick Cody]

Well, we thought initially when it started that it would be a lot of Australia to Bali or Australia to Thailand flights, but weirdly, a lot coming out of North Carolina. I don't know what's happening in North Carolina, but we've done 300 odd episodes and I reckon a fifth are going to or from North Carolina. I don't know if it's a Ric Flair thing, but something's happening over there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot of the stuff I've been reading lately says it's a Ric Flair thing. So I mean, I don't that see a lot of signs seem to be going in that direction, but. And then. So you've got Mid Flight Brawl, you've got your touring, you do morning radio. I mean, that is just. It's too much. Nick, we're worried about you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, slow down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No more kids. Are you thinking about getting a vasectomy?

[Nick Cody]

No. Fuck no. The morning show. I work with a guy by the name of Brendan Favola who is real life Kenny Powers. So any Americans listening? If you love Eastbound and down. I work with the actual Kenny Powers. Real. He's the real deal. Kenny Powers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so funny.

[Nick Cody]

He got kicked out of Queensland and Ireland for drinking too much.

[Dave Anthony]

He's an incredible man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't believe that's possible. How did he get kicked out of Ireland?

[Nick Cody]

There used to be a thing called international rules where Australia would play against Ireland in a hybrid game of Australian rules football and Gaelic football. And he went over there representing Australia and went to the races one day in Galway, the horse races. Got hammered, and then fucking got a bartender in a headlock and got sent home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, when you walk into Outback Steakhouse, that's what the bartenders and the. The people attending are doing. You also have the White House as your background today, Nick, and that is obviously an homage to the great fight that took place recently at the White House. You're showing respect to us, and we appreciate it. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you.

[Nick Cody]

Was your freedom 250.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

Was your goal. It's. It's our great shame. Was your goal to be the Australian Rogan, or did that just happen?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He mispronounced Ray Gun, by the way.

[Nick Cody]

Joe Ray Gun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's Halloween next year, Nick.

[Nick Cody]

I got vaccinated, so I'm sorry, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been back just once, though. Just once. Just the one. You fell for it once.

[Nick Cody]

I forget if it was two or three. It was whatever amount it was. So Australia would open pubs again. I got that amount. So I listened to science so I could immediately stop following sc. I'm back to sharing vapes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The sharing vapes was when you knew we were back. You're like, we're open. We're sharing vapes again. I remember my first. My. I think my. Maybe my second show back was in Hawaii, and you had to have, like, a negative COVID test that you had to have all this paperwork. And I got there, and I was smoking a joint with a bunch of people sharing a joint, and I was like, I didn't think this was gonna happen again. I was like, this is awesome.

[Nick Cody]

We're back, baby. Well, I was. I was on breakfast radio in Brisbane, but living in Melbourne at the time, and Melbourne, of course, world's longest lockdown, blah, blah, blah. And I. I got an exemption to go to Queensland. You had to do two weeks in hotel quarantine and everything. And I. I came out, and Queensland, they were complaining. Melbourne, you couldn't leave the house. And Queensland were like, you can only have 30 people at a house party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This place is.

[Nick Cody]

It's North Korea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two weeks in the hotel. How much weight did you put on on that stretch? Had to be a good.

[Nick Cody]

Oh, blew out. And that was. Yeah, that was a year not drinking, and I blew up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Nick Cody]

That was danger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so we're going to go through this newspaper. We're going to guess what year this newspaper is from. You're gonna start. Okay, we don't. There's no context. It's just a guess. So you tell us what you think. It could be 1800s, could be 1900s, could be 1700s, could be 2000s. Ish. No, off. What are you doing? I'll go first. It's 19.

[Dave Anthony]

No, Nick's going first.

[Nick Cody]

1923.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is it?

[Dave Anthony]

It's 1929. He's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the. You held it up for him. He didn't even see it. You tried to cheat. You son of a. God damn it.

[Dave Anthony]

You were confused because he didn't say the right. The right number.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, I was confused because your expression was super bizarre.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, that's called a poker player's face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's by the way, Kit rolled off the tongue, didn't it?

[Dave Anthony]

Look, I have the face of a psycho, so I would be really great at poker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the is happening?

[Dave Anthony]

I can. I can do no emotion no matter what's happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no. Yeah, we've noticed. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So I'd be a great poker player.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we've noticed. I've gone on the road with no emotion, no emotion.

[Dave Anthony]

I can do no emotion whatsoever.

[Nick Cody]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

I can shut it all down inside, Nick. Yeah, it's called growing up with an alcoholic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's called

[Gareth Reynolds]

undone. A trauma that he'll never try to undo. Because of that, I'm a really good poker player.

[Nick Cody]

I did as well. But I've just grown up to try and become a better alcoholic than them. Yeah, I don't know if that's.

[Dave Anthony]

No, that's one way to do it. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you know what? The year off was a great move for you. It really showed. It showed you that you can do it forever.

[Nick Cody]

I just had another three months off before I. I do it all the time, but fuck. I just. I remember. I remember Dave, years ago, like 10 years ago maybe, you were telling me about beers, and you're like, mate, in a few years, it's going to be hard to drink beers and not blow out. I. Now, if I have three beers, my head is a blimp.

[Dave Anthony]

Right? Yeah, I told you it was coming.

[Nick Cody]

I just can't do it anymore, you

[Gareth Reynolds]

will be Joe Rogan. Just drink eight beers, Nick.

[Dave Anthony]

You'll be happy to know I've switched to gin and tonics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really resulted in some strange behavior.

[Nick Cody]

Classy move.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is classy. But then he's on his third one, and he's like, that guy. The way that guy looked at me was horseshit. I'm like, all right, buddy, who's mixing those? You. Who's making the gnts for you?

[Nick Cody]

Well, also, in America, the thing that's got me. A few times I forgot about the free pour. And you think I've only had four whiskies, but. Oh, I'm. What's happened.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what do you mean? The Freeport? I don't know what that is.

[Nick Cody]

Well, in Australia, it's all. They measure 30.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, they've. Yeah, they've got. Yeah, yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. When my son just had his. His baseball banquet, they were doing free pors, and I didn't realize. God, did I get.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

Shit face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God. You gotta see. You gotta see Dave drunk on gin and. Yeah. All right, let's start this thing. What's the paper?

[Dave Anthony]

The Miami Herald.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, beautiful.

[Dave Anthony]

Thursday, August 8th, 1929. Okay. Sending proxy to court. Costly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's got a cool little Dr. Susan rhyme to it.

[Nick Cody]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Alleging alleged gambling operator is fined a hundred dollars years. Attending court by proxy proved costly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Attending court by proxy proved costly to Harry Owens, reputed operator of a gambling game yesterday when he appeared before Judge W.F. brown of the Court of Crimes to answer the second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Court of Crimes. That's what we're going to start calling court.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, what do they call it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the other court?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

What would you call the other one? Court of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what one guy eventually was like. Well, they're all crimes, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, there's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should just call it court.

[Dave Anthony]

There is civil court.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. A crime, though. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

No, civil court is not a crime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, source.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah. What are your courts? We've got like, magistrates court, supreme court, High court, family court, where I'll end up. We've got a lot of different courts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got Greg Mathis, Judge Joe Brown. We got Judy. She comes on after that. The People's Court. Court. That one's pretty good. That used to be Wapner. Now it's this other lady that's our bas, Steve Harvey. Had one for a little while that didn't take, did he? Yeah, but that's okay. He's focused on Family Feud where we need his legal skills. Yeah, yeah, no, it was weird. Judge Judy is the one who's also. Yeah, yeah. In many ways it is a, it is a family court.

[Dave Anthony]

It's probably my favorite game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But really what they should do is at the end of Family Feud, someone should be thrown out of the family.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you're on the losing team, the guy is like something you keep in your handbag for emergencies. The guy's like, corn. Corn Steve.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

That's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got to get rid of Uncle Eric. He is a fucking absolute anchor on this household. I think Corn Steve, because the woman goes to the picnic, she needs corn. And then people have to be like,

[Dave Anthony]

it's so, it's so fucking funny when someone says a bad answer and he just turns, looks the audience and rolls his eyes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he really lets it. He lets him know.

[Dave Anthony]

We have small claims court where you can sue up to $10,000. And then we have regular civil court where you sue people. And then we have a criminal court for all the rapies and, and murderies. And then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well then we have the state supreme court and then we have the Supreme.

[Dave Anthony]

Supreme. And then we have the court of appeals and the state supreme court of public opinion.

[Nick Cody]

You are a big fan of it. You are a big fan of the sued. Like I feel everyone over there has a lawyer ready.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm being sued right now.

[Nick Cody]

Walmart or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've sued. I sued Dave two months ago and I didn't even remember doing it. And we're doing that a lot over here.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm being sued right now for $2 million.

[Nick Cody]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave's being sued right now for $2 million. No, you're not. By who?

[Dave Anthony]

Some lady. My what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How the has this not come up?

[Dave Anthony]

Cuz there nothing's going to happen because my mother in law was America.

[Nick Cody]

And so you're probably being sued as well, Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't even know that you're part of the lawsuit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

My mother in law was driving.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you told me that.

[Dave Anthony]

And she tapped the back of a car. The only damage to both cars is the license plate frame. So it's like total damage is like $80. And she's suing my wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sorry, excuse me, sir.

[Dave Anthony]

Me, my wife and my mother in law for $2 million.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, Nick, if you're worried about the state of consciousness in America, don't be. We're doing fine.

[Dave Anthony]

The, the, the lawyer that is representing her has changed his name four times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And by the way, I will now be going as Shanks.

[Dave Anthony]

That's. That's the lawyer you want. Who am I this week?

[Nick Cody]

Also you. I do. I do Miss America, the billboard lawyer. There's a lot of billboard lawyers.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the main thing here. It's not. No, it's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. And if you actually. Yeah, yeah. If you drive through America, you do start going like, wow, they're getting crazier. Like, they're eventually some guy's just biting the head off a chicken. Like, I'll the judge. And you're like, oh, what the hell? What's going on over here? All right, I like this guy.

[Nick Cody]

I am law.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am the fucking law. I ate my own poop. Wow. I don't know. Seems to be doing pretty well. That's the eighth billboard for that guy I've seen.

[Nick Cody]

I'll go to jail in your place. Cash back guarantee, live with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your wife's a. Whoa. What the.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, back to Harry Owens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Owens was arrested on Northeast first street and gave his name as Harold Rowland. Yeah, that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's fine to do.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how you do.

[Nick Cody]

Close.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. When the case was called, he sent a friend to answer to his name and pay whatever fine was imposed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's fine so far.

[Dave Anthony]

What's the problem with this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No issue, right? No issue.

[Dave Anthony]

Different name. Send a different guy if you can get a friend of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, good. A good path.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah, yeah, that's the time to do it as well. 1929.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Like, you swear to God. Yeah, that's.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Judge Brown drew an admission from him that he did not appear the first day. He was fined a hundred dollars and costs and five days in jail and an additional 25 days if he was unable to pay. Oh, so they caught him. So it didn't work. Okay, that's the story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a really bad first story.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a bad first story. And Preston, shame on you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, go ahead, tell him, Preston.

[Dave Anthony]

You son of a. Yeah, good, Preston, you know what? We're going to find you $100.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. By the way, we're suing you for 2 million. Next part of the lawsuit, Nick is

[Nick Cody]

going to go on in Miami. Before the cocaine and the gun running,

[Gareth Reynolds]

they were dying for Scarface.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were like, yeah, Miami. When they were like, it's just a lot of sand, that cocaine. And they were like, oh, shit. Things have changed.

[Nick Cody]

You blokes will not be surprised to know I had a Scarface poster when I was 16.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nick.

[Dave Anthony]

Nick does not Tell at all. Surprise me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nick, I. I don't mean to sound rude, but we know. Yeah, you assumed we would do that one.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you know what's. What's very funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And also as a 16 year old being like all of Scarface. Scarface. Well, I'm gonna drink so many.

[Nick Cody]

I could relate to it in the western suburbs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a lot like my paper out. I'm the Scarface in the Mail.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth had a big poster of Crocodile Dundee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I did.

[Dave Anthony]

That was your guy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. As a big. I was a huge.

[Nick Cody]

We're all learning from each other's cultures.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And I had Yahoo. Seriously,

[Gareth Reynolds]

man. We. You know what we got to do next time we tour us trip? We got to try to get Yahoo. Serious.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, he won't do it. He's like a recluse now, right? Nick, you probably know nobody knows who he is.

[Nick Cody]

Yes. Yeah, I believe. Yeah. He. Not in hiding, but no, he's like. He doesn't have a lot going on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like, I'm Bill. Serious though.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I don't think he's. I don't think it's a self implode imposed recluse. I think it's a. Like, that's a tough one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, wow. He really. He's a bit of a wreck.

[Nick Cody]

Apparently. He was squatting somewhere last year. Yeah. What like in a. In a very rich suburb in Sydney.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a movie. Now we got a movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think we want to make that movie. It's very depressing. We'll get purple pingers to produce it with us.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, the pastimes is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'm. I get a little wary when we do these. I love them.

[Dave Anthony]

It's gonna be fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is product. They're the best.

[Dave Anthony]

But smooth it all out. Look. Mint Mobile, of course. A great mobile phone service. I use it. Gareth uses it. It's just as good as the other ones. It's just a lot cheaper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Phone. Take your phone number, same towers. It's. It's just cheaper. That's the only. That's the only quote, unquote problem.

[Dave Anthony]

Why would you want to spend more for wireless?

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're sick.

[Dave Anthony]

They're just. They're. They're just got to stick it people. The wireless companies are sticking it to people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got a sick thing where you

[Dave Anthony]

like losing money and Mint Mobile's wireless plans. No gimmicks, no gotchas. High speed data, reliable coverage on the on the T Mobile 5G network. So they're. Yes, they're on that. And right now plans are just $15 a month. Even the unlimited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And there's the only knock against them at all is they. You know, the phone tastes unlike mint. That whole thing. No, it doesn't.

[Dave Anthony]

It does.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it does not.

[Dave Anthony]

It does.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it does not. No, it does not. No.

[Dave Anthony]

So I've tested.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've tasted every part of it. I tasted yours.

[Dave Anthony]

You can even bring your phone or your phone number. You can choose between three 612 month plans and then your monthly bill's gone. It's. Trust me, this is the way to go. It just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the way to go.

[Dave Anthony]

Just don't. And. And if you just lick the top of your phone, just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, not.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what I've been told.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I definitely licked the top over time. So it's not.

[Dave Anthony]

That's where the mint comes out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no way you give that a

[Dave Anthony]

shot while I read this to get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'm not just right on the ridge at the top.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. The very top. That's what they said. That's why it hasn't been tasting like mint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could I run my finger on it

[Dave Anthony]

and then put my finger in my mouth with the tongue? Go ahead and lick that bad boy. They trust me. They said that. That's what you guys have been doing wrong. Because I had a whole meeting with

[Nick Cody]

them about why don't you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why can I see you lick yours?

[Dave Anthony]

My phone's in the other room. To get your new wireless.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Convenient.

[Dave Anthony]

To get your new wireless band for just 15 bucks a month, go to dot com.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tastes like garbage. Tastes crap. Take crap.

[Dave Anthony]

It's weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It tastes crap again. I'm not licking the phone again after that.

[Dave Anthony]

That's mintmobile.compastimes cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a [e-mail] pastimes.

[Unidentified Speaker 3]

That's it.

[Dave Anthony]

There's no catch. Upfront payment of 45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month. Equivalent taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Includes up to 200 gigabyte hotspot capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage vary. See mint mobile.com how's that taste though? Good. Nice.

[Nick Cody]

Minty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bad. It tastes like a regular phone.

[Dave Anthony]

Like spirit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In a horrible way.

[Dave Anthony]

Like a spirit. Yeah, I get it. Experiment.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

All right.

[Unidentified Speaker 1]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

The pastime's also brought to you by him. Sexual health.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're talking about Ed.

[Dave Anthony]

Look.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're talking about my penis.

[Dave Anthony]

There's that. Yeah, I'm talking about your penis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're talking about my penis.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, there's a moment where you notice that something. Something's wrong and it sticks with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Hangs in there. Most guys, they. They leave it. They let it fester too long. They let it go on too long. They don't jump on it. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They treat it like an uncle on the Addams family. They just. It's fester.

[Dave Anthony]

Hims makes it simple to actually do something about it with real treatment options. It's 100 online, so the whole deal is online. You don't gotta go anywhere. And look, these are issues. Every guy has performance issues getting older. Most guys have it. It's more treatable than you think. Just is. Most guys go through this at some point. I know Gareth has been in a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some situations, been in a real. What I call a bone slump.

[Dave Anthony]

And so they connect you with hims. Connects you with licensed healthcare providers online.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like God gave me the wrong dong.

[Dave Anthony]

You get simple eating treatments right from home. You don't have to go to an appointment and you don't have to go to a pharmacy online intake. Talk to your provider. They determine what's right for you, and then it gets shipped right to your door.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

And.

[Dave Anthony]

And it's. And there's not a big package on the side that says ED like it's. It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not the only place. There's not a big package.

[Dave Anthony]

They hide it. That's what I'm saying. So him's up to 95% off. Brand name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Brand name.

[Dave Anthony]

So this is the way to go. Straightforward, transparent, Take care of you. To get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ed and more, visit hims.com dollops that's H I M s.com dollop hims.com dollop not available in all 50 states. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Sildenafil is the generic version of Viagra. Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatris Specialty llc. Himss not affiliated with or endorsed by theatrics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mine's been dulled down.

[Dave Anthony]

The pastime is also brought to you by a rocket. Money. It's a rocket. I did a rocket.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They have a slogan. They. They don't want the right. They don't need that. They got the jingle.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that true?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, there's the jingle at the end.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think that's true. Yeah, look. Rocket money. There's no jingle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a jingle.

[Dave Anthony]

Rocket Money is going to save you some sweet, sweet cash. That's what Rocket Money does. It can track subscriptions and it has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app that you're using there. If you taps. They've saved people over 880 million in canceled subscriptions. We have both had canceled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's one for you. There I am drunk with Steve Berg, trying to show him my special, and he doesn't have a Apple tv, so I download a program to show it off my phone. 995amonth it is. And I'm drunk and I go, yeah, okay. And then three weeks later, before it renews, Rocket Money saves me from paying for. And it didn't even work for a screen mirroring thing. That didn't even work.

[Dave Anthony]

A lot of people out there. A lot of people out there doing drunken subscribing. It's a piece of things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. It's a big bottle.

[Dave Anthony]

So yeah, it keeps. It can also keep track of your spending across with customizable categories and everything. It's really good. It saves me a bunch of money. It saves you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It does a ton of stuff for you. It's a money saver.

[Dave Anthony]

Got an alcohol problem?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a problem with alcohol.

[Dave Anthony]

So we both recommend it. And yeah, it saved my. It cut 300 bucks off my Internet every year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Saved my marriage.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, saved his marriage. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're gonna do it.

[Dave Anthony]

Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. For zero dollars@rocket money.com, that's rocket money.com dollop. Rocket money.com dollop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, girls, whenever you're ready. Oh, Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Go ahead and save yourself some pocket money.

[Dave Anthony]

Survey shows women cause few accidents.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Dave Anthony]

What are we doing right now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're having a hang. Why are we.

[Nick Cody]

Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you doing, guys? Come on.

[Dave Anthony]

I was having a good read. And then. What are we doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we go.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's a shock for men drivers. A recent survey conducted in 30 states showed that only 5% of all accidents were due to women driving cars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, they didn't let them drive. So that's why.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what I was just thinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they weren't letting him drive. So they're like, yeah, That's a shocking statistic.

[Dave Anthony]

This is like 10 years ago saying in Saudi Arabia, women have Caused no car accidents.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For some reason, women are the safest driver out here. Don't know what it is.

[Dave Anthony]

That is according to a sales executive of the AC Spark plug company.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Dave Anthony]

It was also found that on an average morning drivers.

[Nick Cody]

I don't know if you can believe it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The big plug. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

It was also found that on an average. More women drivers bring in their cars at regular intervals for mechanical checkup, which includes brake inspection.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what? I'm a little sick of being responsibility shamed. Okay, let us handle the guys. Got this. This.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm so sick of this.

[Nick Cody]

And again, this is leading to. They get the spark plugs replaced more often. This is all big spark plug. We can't trust this survey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's big. It's. Yeah, it's spark face. Which I believe was one of your heroes growing up, right, Nick? In Miami, they had spark face. Come on, say hello.

[Nick Cody]

First you get the inspection, then you get the. Then you get the women. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Say hello to my head mechanic.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know if I can show Nick this, but this is. I mean, this is a picture of. What are you going to show him that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Try to show him if he can't show you, Nick. And for those listening, I'll just say picture an old chubby white.

[Nick Cody]

There you go. It just went off. But it was exactly who I picked it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Nick Cody]

You said an old chubby white, and you nailed it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Nick Cody]

There's this guy's got a real guess who head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, man. Remember guess who, Nick, how. Guess who made you a, like, sexist? Because you'd be like, ah, I got a woman. Because there'd be like five women on the original board that I had. It was like five. So you'd be like, are you a woman? You'd be like, yeah. And you'd be like, oh, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. You'd knock them all down. You'd be like, are you. Julia did that?

[Nick Cody]

Yeah. You've got to ask it in a nicer way. Did they only cause 5% of accidents in 1929?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did they have to fight for the right to vote? Did your character have to fight for the right to vote?

[Dave Anthony]

Eyesight recovered with sun treatment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh? What's going on here?

[Dave Anthony]

It's not.

[Nick Cody]

Here we go.

[Dave Anthony]

Whatever the story is, it's absolutely it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

It's got to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Nick Cody]

This could be the news now. That's what's terrifying.

[Dave Anthony]

This is an RFK junior Story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, let me tell you something.

[Dave Anthony]

Declaring that he is living, he's just

[Gareth Reynolds]

drinking the reflecting pool, Robert. No. So a lot of that's not slipping down properly, but you want that.

[Dave Anthony]

Declaring that he is living in a new world, A.D. williams, 60 year old apartment house owner, discussed the recovery of his sight after years of partial blindness as the greatest event of his life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you get your sight back. That's a pretty big deal. Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I ate a scorpion.

[Dave Anthony]

I sat in a pool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I drank a lot of sea water.

[Dave Anthony]

I ate a rotting whale.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I ate my wife. Now I gained her eyes. Robert.

[Nick Cody]

Robert maybe went to sleep. Instead of the cucumbers on the eyes, he had the, the Trump coins that were for sale.

[Dave Anthony]

That'll do.

[Nick Cody]

UFC Freedom 250.

[Dave Anthony]

That will do it. That will absolutely do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna wake up able to see Robert.

[Dave Anthony]

Did he sell? Did he sell? Did they sell coins?

[Gareth Reynolds]

They paid the fighters in. In coins or in crypto?

[Dave Anthony]

Right, they paid the fighters in crypto

[Nick Cody]

in a type of cryptocurrency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bonuses were given in crypto. Yeah. Truth Social got a plug. Which is my favorite one favorite announcement from Bruce Buffet yet. Because I love. Because the ufc, they'll take anything, they'll take any money to advertise anything for a fight. So you'll hear Bruce Buffer go, the fight. Brought to you by the Equalizer 12 Jason Statham in cinemas. Da, da, da, da. You always hear just the weirdest, weirdest truth Social getting a pump up.

[Dave Anthony]

That's awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The only place when you're gonna get real observations.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it's. I have a, I, I have a Trump coin. When he made peace with North Korea, I have, I bought the coin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was the best thing he ever did. And I'm not kidding, as president. He went over there, the guy gave him a letter and he was like, he's a cutie pie. Leave him alone. He's my friend. Everyone's like, okay, whatever. What happened over there?

[Nick Cody]

Trump and Dennis Rodman over, literally did

[Gareth Reynolds]

like the Celebrity Apprentice. And he came back and he's like, I don't think he's gonna nuke us. And we were like, okay, I guess, no, thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

All the liberals were mad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they were all mad.

[Dave Anthony]

Talk to him. And it's like, yeah, he can. What are you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He came back and he was like, like, they were so chill. Yeah, it's just like, that's when you were genuine. I was like, maybe there's something to this. And then to Trump 2.0, he's like this cocksuck. We're gonna show Him. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

How about no gas?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about no gas?

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Several years ago, Mr. Williams, who was a builder, began to suffer from headaches and found his eyesight greatly impaired. He was fitted with glasses which gave temporary relief, but later headaches returned. His new glasses failed to correct his defects of vision. He became nearly blind and was unable to perceive details of objects. He only could see the form of objects and distinguish light from dark objects. So impaired was his eyesight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Has dog eyes.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

I.

[Dave Anthony]

The thing is, is I got more racist. My eyes got racist black.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Robert. No, no, I'm just saying. Fat black. Fat white, sir. What? These are my exercises.

[Dave Anthony]

He was unable to continue his business and was forced to give up reading.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fat white business Rabbit.

[Unidentified Speaker 1]

Stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Skinny black in my house.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

Stop it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tiny white. Also tiny black.

[Dave Anthony]

Thinking over his affliction, Mr. Williams recalled that one night while seated in Elser pier on the bay, he heard a man say, is not necessary to wear glasses and that people should be. Should be able to live to 150 years old.

[Nick Cody]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, okay.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah, they're all good points.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. Why stop at 150?

[Dave Anthony]

These are. This is what happens when you're on a dock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. If you stand the dock long enough, you'll hear some like this. You know, if a man had gills, that we wouldn't need the oceans. Excuse me. Are you talking to me? My daughter's missing.

[Unidentified Speaker 1]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fat black.

[Nick Cody]

Are there any other. Are there any spots in LA where you see. Like, there's a river near my place called the Maribyrnong river, and there's no way you would eat fish out of that. But you see fishing there, and you're like, the la.

[Dave Anthony]

The LA River.

[Nick Cody]

This is a mental health thing. Or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I know.

[Dave Anthony]

I saw a guy fishing the LA river the other day. I was like, what are you doing? It's like fishing for oil.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You may as well fish in a toilet. Like, literally. May as well put a worm on a hook and drop it in a porta Potty and be like, oh, they got some nice food. That nice stuff down there.

[Nick Cody]

If you. If I'm in la, there's no seafood of the day. Fresh from the LA River. I've never seen that on a menu.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Judging by your seafood standards, I think you'll be fine eating from the LA River. You can get your little crab sticks. Okay.

[Nick Cody]

This is the problem with Australia. We got the best food in the world and the worst food in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we do too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I kind of think that's here too. I mean, here, here, you could get the best things ever. And then also, people just. Yeah, you'll just be like. You realize you're eating pink slime that's deep fried, and that's.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, but it's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So good. I mean, you walk, but. No, you do beat us.

[Nick Cody]

You do.

[Unidentified Speaker 3]

We.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not trying to pull rank, but we are absolute. I mean, we are a trash fire. But my friend Burns used to manage this building that had a koi pond, and he was out on his balcony one day at, like, the third floor or whatever, and he saw some guy sneak into the building and start throwing koi fish into a bag. And he was like, hey, hey. And the guy's like, whoa. And, like, ran out. He's like, what? The guy's gonna go eat the koi fish from our apartment.

[Dave Anthony]

Those are. Those are worth, like, $5,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but, man, are they tasty.

[Dave Anthony]

They taste so good.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah, I think they're all. I think everything about koi fish is good luck until you eat them. And it's bad luck. You've had a lot of bad luck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Imagine hearing that. Hearing that after you ate one. Wait, what? Yeah, just don't eat them. Then you hear cursed. Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. Oh, dear.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we here in la, we have the ocean, so that. That's where we get any fresh. There's no. There's no freshwater fish that we're getting here that we're enjoying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'm a little out on the ocean for a little while, too. I'm a little concerned. Ocean's a little flaggy at this point.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. A few years ago, they're like, by the way, you get tons of mercury if you eat tuna. Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Thinking over his affliction, Mr. Williams recalled that one night while seated in Elser Pier on the bay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. The guy was.

[Dave Anthony]

He heard a man say, it's not necessary with glasses. And the people should live to be 150 years old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jerk me off. You can be 150.

[Dave Anthony]

Go ahead. Go ahead and put your mouth on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. If you.

[Nick Cody]

Hey, who's not taking that risk? You gotta roll the dice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The next day, you wake up with bad vision. God damn it. What's the matter, Grandpa? I just jerked a guy up for. No.

[Nick Cody]

I could have. But to be on your deathbed going, who knows? One hand job, and I could be another 70 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'd rather do it than pass it up? Because if you do it, you go, that guy got a free hand job. But if you didn't, I might have just. Just I'm had it. Not jacked off a wizard. What did I do out there?

[Nick Cody]

But then also explaining. Explaining to your great, great, great, great grandkids at your 140th birthday how you've lived so old and everyone else has died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the secret, grandpa? Well, I don't, I don't really want to get into it.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. I got some cod oil.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it diet? No, nothing to know. But I don't want to get disappointed. It. Don't fish at that pier unless you're really sick.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a man on that dog guy,

[Gareth Reynolds]

he's got some weird. I don't know what's going on.

[Dave Anthony]

He's got a life giving.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a sick, sick wizard down there. He's got some potions. I don't know what he's doing. He's got a weird. Anyway,

[Dave Anthony]

so began a search for some remedy for his increasing blindness. Intuitively, he turned to the sun as a curative agent.

[Nick Cody]

That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh that.

[Nick Cody]

I feel like I'm. I'm picked on. Gareth, you may be the same. Oh, Dave. Similar complexion as well people now go, you need the sun. And I'm like, no, I keep getting cut out of me. I think I need to be inside.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, no, you don't need. Yeah, the sun is a lesson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those recommendations are surely put out there for some reason. But any dermatologist will be like. But not you. No, no, no, you're. You're a night guy. You go out at night. My little ghost.

[Dave Anthony]

So it was.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah, that's a breakfast radio and stand up comedy. Oh, it's the only time I'm out of the house.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Funny.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nick, after, before breakfast radio, after the clubs. He's just out on the pier. You want to get your vision back. Is that your vape, Mr. Cody? No.

[Dave Anthony]

So it was. It was his theory.

[Nick Cody]

From a wizard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've borrowed this.

[Dave Anthony]

It was his theory that by subjecting his eyes to the sun's rays he would be benefited. His family opposed his theory, but he persisted. And for three days Lana cot with his face uncovered staring at the sun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well that's. Come on now, that's extreme.

[Dave Anthony]

At the end of the third day, his face was swollen and blistered.

[Nick Cody]

The Miami sun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's working. What's grandpa doing? I think he's trying to roast himself, hun. Grandpa looks sick. I'm gonna.

[Nick Cody]

That should be the mascot for the Miami Heat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God. Character just blistered.

[Nick Cody]

Old man, blistered head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go heat Go heat. Let's go heat. Let's go heat. There's no one in there, sir. There's not a game today. I can't see.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

Black.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sir, stop.

[Dave Anthony]

Consulting a friend, he was told that it is between noon and 3pm that the sun rays burns. So he continued his treatments up to noon and after 3pm and was rewarded with improved vision. So that was it. It was. It was a time thing. Okay, sure, he had setbacks in his recovery.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

But he kept adding to the sun treatments, various exercises and massage. And since December 1926, he has devoted 14 hours a day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

To the task of regaining his eyesight. Today he reads newspapers without glasses and sees distant, distant objects clearly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean this is.

[Dave Anthony]

This is very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This paper just took a real dive. This paper just. This paper. This paper just got a little strange.

[Nick Cody]

He can finally see his reflection clearly. But it's a big blistered head. Horrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why did you let me do that, Grandpa? Oh my God. I'm burned. I'm horribly burned.

[Dave Anthony]

Black.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop it, Grandpa.

[Dave Anthony]

We're always told not to stare at things. Now I stare at everything I see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh God.

[Dave Anthony]

I read every sign I see. And I read the signs and shop windows. Part of Mr. Williams one way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Part of Mr. 35 MP ph. No parking. No parking.

[Dave Anthony]

Part of Mr. Williams self devised treatment is a 5 mile walk every day. All right, that's good. Yeah, no problem with that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

On his. On it. He searches the roadside for signs to read.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, free lawyer will kill judge. Hell yeah. Call the law Terminator. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He never wears a hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, of course not.

[Nick Cody]

Now again, I'm just picturing a positive Freddy Krueger. You know, he's the same head, but the speakers were good.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no. Knife hands.

[Nick Cody]

He's not attacking in dreams, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. Why is that guy wearing a sweater? I cured my own vision. Excuse me? I cured vision. I sucked a wizard's dick on a bay.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Dave Anthony]

Hi. It is possible in regaining sight to have long or short sight. But he advises practice that will enable one to have both. Mr. Williams disclaims any wish to make money of his discovery. I am so happy over regaining my sight. I want everyone to afflicted as I was, to regain theirs. And if I can help them by telling about it, I will be glad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guarantee you this year more blind people died than the year before.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, people with blinder.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, blind people. Like, here's the sun.

[Nick Cody]

He'd be on Amazon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God, yeah.

[Nick Cody]

This guy.

[Dave Anthony]

This guy Rogan's like, jamie, pull that up. This guy cured his eyesight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just like the David Goggins of vision.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, this is good. He is planning some experiments with children and believes that it will be possible to correct sight defects in three weeks and save them from the necessity of wearing glasses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy. It's never good to hear. I'm planning some experiments with children.

[Dave Anthony]

That's never good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm planning some experiments with children.

[Nick Cody]

I mean, Dave, you've got glasses. If you had to choose glasses or melanoma, what would you go with?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that's a tough one. I'm gonna go with living with glasses. Interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's an interesting call there. Took a while. Wow. Dave's out of the yard choice.

[Dave Anthony]

It's cowardly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. It's a beta soy boy position.

[Dave Anthony]

Scared little boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scared little boy.

[Nick Cody]

I didn't deny science.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm a big science denier. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have we out of. Let's just take a group poll. Anyone here laid out in the sun and spread their butt cheeks. Dave? No. Nick?

[Nick Cody]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right. All right. That's the end of this round. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

You probably have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

You probably have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you one of those guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was. I could finally see through it again. That was why I did it.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, being able to see their will be the worst thing ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Worst thing. Are you out of your mind? Imagine crawling. You'd be like, the advantage. It's like a periscope. Got him. It's like having a backup camera in your. Be awesome. That's what I said about that. I was like, I don't want it. I don't want. I couldn't live without it. That's the same thing with having an eye in your ass.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you. Do you put a little window in your pants?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I honestly, at that point, I don't think I'm wearing pants. I'm not worried about anyone with me. I'm crawling anywhere I want naked.

[Nick Cody]

Maybe that's what the assless chaps are. Maybe they just haven't told us of their powers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're gonna have to spread, though. The problem is you're not. You know what I mean? It's like kind of a closed eye. Unless you kind of pull it apart. Yeah. You're gonna want to kind of tape it up.

[Dave Anthony]

Tape it open.

[Nick Cody]

Put a matchstick. Matchstick in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Exact clockwork orange. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How's Gareth? He's not doing. It's not great. I hear you. Once he discovers you talking about me.

[Dave Anthony]

Once he found out that he could see out of his and hear out of his penis, he's been really hard to be around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's some food over here. Yeah, there's a sandwich out on the table for you. This could be good.

[Nick Cody]

He's been handstand walking everywhere

[Gareth Reynolds]

horribly sunburned. I'll outlive the lot of you.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's the filthy Cyclops again. Hello. The dirty Cyclops. Marvel presents.

[Dave Anthony]

Pajama clad aviator on tour of country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go.

[Dave Anthony]

Clad in orange pajamas. Ronald Daly, Oklahoma oil man. Arrived here today from Tulsa by airplane. Yeah, no, it's a regular fellow gentleman. Yeah, it's just a rich guy.

[Nick Cody]

That's what he sold everyone. Do you like my pajamas with the number on the chest?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you. Did you escape? No, I'm quite well off. I'm doing quite well, madam.

[Dave Anthony]

How about a rich man pajama tour?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me? I'm a pilot, you fool.

[Dave Anthony]

He announced he had started a pajama wearing air tour of the country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're a prisoner.

[Dave Anthony]

In the interest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote More sensible clothes for men.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a new look for the man of the next century. That's it.

[Dave Anthony]

That's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow me.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a guy flying around in pajamas. I need attention.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, please. Hello.

[Unidentified Speaker 2]

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[Dave Anthony]

change Ah, I would committee to study 13 month proposal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But why this? Why would you do it?

[Dave Anthony]

All right, what do we think?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Opposed?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think you can do it because the whole sun sun thing, planet we.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I don't even know how we arrived at the calendar we have now, but.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we're in. It's based on the sun, basically. I mean it started with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't need to tell me, I'm the dirty Cyclops.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, at one point they did time with, with just the. From sunset to sundown. And then like, why don't we parse this up into. And then they got minutes and everything and then it's 12 months. Everything turned into.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because there were four seasons.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they were like, oh this, this is how the sun works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

About to go absolutely crazy. So if we want to swap it now, that's fine. But when you arrive at something like that, it's like, that's like with the metric system. It's just like, what the fuck is with the us? We were like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. We got an idea. It was like, just go with the other one, you fucking assholes. Now you got to be confused. Or plugs. When you go to another country, you're like, you couldn't just do the regular. You couldn't have a fucking meeting and get together and be like, this is it. This is the plug for the world. Go ahead, Nick. I apologize.

[Nick Cody]

Well the. There's some countries the other they're running on other years. I was in Thailand the other week with our mate Carl Chandler. Woke up one morning, had a look. I was like, what date is it? And I had a look at the date on my phone and it was like June 6, 2569. And I was like, how much did I drink. I've gone 500 years into the future. Wait, what am I, the new Encino Man?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean? What was it doing?

[Nick Cody]

No, the current Thai year is 2569. B E Buddhist era. But I just saw June 4, 2569. I'm like, Ah,

[Gareth Reynolds]

well, that is. We're gonna have to funniest thing. I had to be like, oh my God, it happened to me. You're walking down the street. What year is this? Oh, this movie was out when I was alive. What's wrong with Nick? Your moped technology is quite similar to my time as well. Do you still serve pad Thai in this world?

[Nick Cody]

Beers are still $3. We're good.

[Dave Anthony]

Very good.

[Nick Cody]

I just immediately Forget that I'm 500

[Gareth Reynolds]

years in the future, wake up the next day, do it again. Nick's combined waking up 500 years in the future at Groundhog Day. Oh my God. 500 years. Morning, Mr. Cody. Hello, Joyce. Ah, My name is Nick Cody.

[Dave Anthony]

Committee to study 13 month proposal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you have crab stickers? I like fake crab fried. Hello?

[Dave Anthony]

Crab extender.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I need a crab extend extender. I fell asleep in a different time. I'm the Sigourney Weaver of Thailand. Hello. I need to find a mate.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus Christ. I mean that. A lot of people go to Thailand for that. A special commission was appointed today to study proposals for simplification of the calendar in accordance with a resolution adopted by the 6th Pan American Conference here last year. The new calendar proposed in resolutions adopted by the League of Nations and upon which action of the Pan American Conference was based would give the year 13 months of 28 days each.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

So we're cutting, but is that enough?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, close. Close, but not. Not enough.

[Nick Cody]

65 days.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, actually it would work.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you have some that are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it would work because you're shaving two out of each one. That would work, yeah. That's crazy. I like that pitch now.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah, it's 365 days in a year. You can't define. Divide that by 12 perfectly. So there's going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not perfect. But think of February or like, you know, you know, summer 31 and 30. So you might have a little wonkiness, but if you took two out of every one, that would be 12, that would be 24. And you'd be shaving two out of each one. So you'd be close.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe they're trying to solve the leap. Leap day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I swear, honest to God, I'm open to getting rid of leap day pitches at this 100% just because of anyone who's born on leap day that what we should do is. And again, I'm very anti ice. Okay. But leap day, we should have an ice like group that goes around and everybody who's having a leap day birthday and bragging about it, they go into a van and we're taking you somewhere and you might not see your loved ones. Yeah, you know, my birthday is already four years. Get in the van. Get in the van. Cattle prodding. Quiet. Nobody gives a. I'm actually four. Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

The Boeing airplane factory here is one of the most useful institutions in the country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someday we'll be crashing and killing people and killing people who talk about it.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know what whistleblowers are? Boeing will be killing them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whistleblowers have the highest suicide rate in the history of society.

[Nick Cody]

It's very stressful whistleblowers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Very stressful thing to be a Boeing whistleblower. It always ends the same in a

[Dave Anthony]

truck with a gun or a hammer to the head.

[Nick Cody]

Yeah. Sometimes you've just got to tie your hands and feet behind your back and jump off a roof. You're so stressed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The most flexible employee base in the world. Boeing tire. I hog tied myself to jump off a building. Boeing.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it builds.

[Nick Cody]

He shot himself in the head three times. He was under a lot of pressure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unbelievable that he could pull it off with his arms handcuffed behind his back. But he was great.

[Dave Anthony]

It was amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's what made him such a great ingenue.

[Dave Anthony]

It builds swift pursuit planes for the navy is building a dozen planes to carry 18 passenger each.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you imagine a plane with 18 people?

[Dave Anthony]

That's crazy.

[Nick Cody]

Oh my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God, I don't know, Nick. It's gotten last time.

[Nick Cody]

Is that just a normal size plan now? But they used to give you a lot more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's probably a smaller plane, but still I. When I remember flying there probably five or six years ago and you're like, oh man, there's actually some room in America's not. Every time you get on a plane in America, it's the same thing. It's someone some underpaid person is like, this is a completely full flight, so hurry up. You're like, oh God. Yeah, here we go.

[Dave Anthony]

Packing the squeezes.

[Nick Cody]

I've flown southwest a few times over there. If you want an aisle seat on south. No, but if you want an all seat, just walk towards the back. No one wants to do that in America. It's free. I'll seats are free. Rows 15 onwards.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do pretty much Go to the back of the plane. But south, you know, Southwest changed their boarding style. Now they're just regular.

[Dave Anthony]

They're going back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are they? Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Everyone hated it so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Nick Cody]

My favorite American plane fact. I love the show. Air crash investigation. I think you call it May Day over there. And there was a plane in the. In the 40s or 50s in Texas that took off and stalled on takeoff and then crashed to the ground. And they didn't know what had happened and there'd been nothing wrong with the plane. And then they finally figured out that they had an adjust. Sorry, it was a few decades later, but they hadn't adjusted the average American weight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you want to talk shit about

[Dave Anthony]

because we're huskies? Are you saying because we're husky?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is so. That is so funny. First, like some investigator, like dusting for fingerprints and like, you know, Gabe, they're pretty fat. It's true, isn't it? You know, it might have something to do with that. These people are. How do I put this? Getting fat as

[Nick Cody]

I can't get fingerprints because there's Cheeto dust on every one of these mitts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, a missile. That's a finger, Ted. No, I thought that was foul play. Jesus Christ. This guy had a real sausage mitt.

[Dave Anthony]

Speaking of sausages, this guy has a pocket full of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Most of these people are just casings, you know, I think Americans looked at their skin as casings.

[Dave Anthony]

But in the long. In the long rows of 1500 skilled mechanics turning out work that requires precision, concentration and pride, good craftsmanship, you find no native born Americans. There are Norwegian, Swedes, Scotchman, Englishmen, Belgians, Frenchmen that work, none American born.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Nick Cody]

Jesus.

[Dave Anthony]

Calm down. Yeah, I'll need your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's true. Honestly, Dave, I can't. It seems weird that you're defending America.

[Nick Cody]

I could have just said Europeans. I really listed a whole lot there. It's really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, there was. There's a list. There's a list. Yeah. They really twisted that knife. Yeah, they really. Yeah, they just went through every country and certainly not Americans. I was watching this World War I documentary and man, the. You have to do it. But man, the level of like, everything was pretty. But then America decided to enter the war. You're like, here we go. Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

We basically. We rolled it when everybody was dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we were. We rolled it. Honestly, that's what we did. We were like in a marathon and we walked it the whole time. And then like when people were like halfway through, we're like, I'm gonna run. And then when people were like, wow, we're so much faster than all these losers, I was like, they're all dead.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. We like to predict we won that one.

[Nick Cody]

There is, there are people now that they run the Kokoda Trail. Kokoda was a big thing in World War II in like Southeast Asia. A lot of, lot of fighting took place on the Kokoda Trail. Very dangerous, a lot of deaths, blah, blah, blah. But now people will run it as like a charity fundraiser thing and just run the Kokoda Trail and be like, guys, I did it in three days. How incredible. It's like very different circumstances, I think.

[Dave Anthony]

Last one, a brilliant boy from this city, Wilbur Houston, son of Bishop Houston, selected as the brightest American boy, will be trained to succeed Thomas Edison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ass kicked so hard. I'm the brightest American boy.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you hear where he.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's gonna go after Edison.

[Dave Anthony]

He's gonna be trained to succeed Edison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got something that'll succeed Edison right here. You little nerd. Yeah, you want a piece? I got two things that'll succeed Edison right here.

[Dave Anthony]

He will not succeed Edison. Of course.

[Nick Cody]

Here's some science for you. Left, right. Good night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you heard of the Cody theory?

[Dave Anthony]

A new law of physics? Two hits. I hit you, you hit the ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, you like telescopes? I'm gonna kick the out of you.

[Dave Anthony]

The mere fact of his selection, the undeserving process of spoiling to which he will be subjected, could make that impossible. Even if he had Edison's genius, the boy will address large audiences on how it feels to be the brightest boy in America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Man, I swear to God, I as if I was my age right now, and I was at that, I'd be like, I don't like this little kid.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I'm kicking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why did you have to do it? It's pretty simple. He's got chalk. I'd be like that.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

X is always consistently going to be

[Nick Cody]

the same number every 10 years or so where there's some kid that's like 13 that gets into Harvard, but then I never hear any follow up stories about them. So I assume it doesn't end well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it doesn't.

[Dave Anthony]

It never ends well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. You know who's done well? The guy who's got a podcast and thought Benjamin Franklin was a president. You don't hear about those kids. But we're out there too. Go ahead. Okay, so y', all, for every 13 year old that goes to Harvard, there's some guy who smoked Enough weed out of a Diet Pepsi Pepsi can to not know what a president was.

[Nick Cody]

Oh, way down. Of a Diet Pepsi can. You're making new chemicals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. I certainly. I was like, I don't know if that weed's good or that can's awesome, but I'll tell you what, my eyes hurt so much, I need to go lay in the sun for a few days.

[Dave Anthony]

That was not how Edison began. He thought about a telegraph instrument and how to send two messages over the same wire. He didn't listen to grown people praising Thomas Edison. Wow. Young Wilbur is a good boy to do. To the test question, what would you do if you had a million dollars? He answered that he would use it in a parish, work for the church. Edison wouldn't have given that answer 70 years ago. Okay. And then Preston did an update.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, we got an update. This kid has his ass kicked.

[Dave Anthony]

He went on to work for NASA and launched seven satellites. Oh, so I guess he was actually smart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You know what else is smart? Mighty and tidy. Yeah, I'll launch you like a rocket, you little d. Oh, you like working with it? Yeah. You work with atomic stuff? How about an atomic wedgie? That's where the underpants rip when I jam them so far up your tank.

[Dave Anthony]

What you call that? Satellite cuck.

[Nick Cody]

But he was also working in a time they couldn't really track it. They were just flinging into space.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Nick Cody]

You know, probably the best time to be involved in satellite launching.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, I can't imagine a prodigy lying about what he's put up in space anymore. Not in this day and age. Nick, thank you for joining us. People should watch mid. Listen to Mid Fight Brawl. Go. Go watch your show, Crusher. They can go to Century AU. Is that where they go? Century Talent.

[Nick Cody]

Century.com. i've got a special out on YouTube. Check that out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Loose unit.

[Nick Cody]

The. The delay boy. Killing me. Satellites up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know you fought through it really well. Truly, that. I think that's the best we've made the delay work just now.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it is kind of amazing that you are on, you know, thousands of miles away and we're talking to you. I mean, it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you heard about Optimistic Dave?

[Nick Cody]

I'm like, what's up with this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Optimistic Dave pops out once every. Once every six months. This little sweetheart shows himself. Hey, you know, but Nick, it's. Back in the day, we would have had to get. We would have had to get a calling card from 7 11. And now we could talk through the TV. I mean, at the end of the day, I feel like you're being a little negative. My guy. Who the is this guy?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sorry, I was thinking about Edison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, when you think about it, Zoom is really a huge innovation. Yeah, I mean, guys, look, it's pretty cool that we're able to do this.

[Dave Anthony]

The sun will come up tomorrow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He doesn't even know the lyrics. All right, Nick. Appreciate you, buddy.

[Unidentified Speaker 3]

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[Unidentified Speaker 2]

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