661 - President Benjamin Franklin - Part Two

Summary

The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Episode 661: President Benjamin Franklin - Part Two
Release Date: December 2, 2024

---

Introduction

In the second part of their deep dive into the life and legacy of Benjamin Franklin, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds continue to unravel the lesser-known and often bizarre aspects of Franklin's contributions to American history. Balancing historical facts with their signature comedic flair, Anthony and Reynolds navigate through Franklin's political maneuvers, personal life, and eccentric inventions, all while interjecting humorous anecdotes and banter.

---

Franklin's Political Maneuvering and the Penn Family Feud

The episode delves into Franklin's intricate relationship with the Penn family, highlighting his attempts to navigate and eventually undermine their control over Pennsylvania.

• Formation of the Militia:
  Dave Anthony explains, "Ben writes propaganda to make it happen," referencing Franklin's efforts to organize a voluntary defense militia amidst escalating tensions with British troops and French allies.
  ["Ben wrote propaganda to organize a militia" - Dave Anthony, 10:19]

• Appointment as Postmaster:
  Franklin's strategic appointment of his son to the postmaster position is scrutinized as a prime example of nepotism taken to extremes. Gareth humorously comments on the significance of controlling the mail in those times:
  ["Postmaster, it's just... you control the mail. You're in charge of the mail." - Gareth Reynolds, 11:30]

• Conflict with Governor John Penn:
  The hosts highlight the escalating conflict between Franklin and the Penn family, culminating in Franklin's lobbying efforts in England and the subsequent fallout.
  ["The governor is like, writing his little, like, hurt journal." - Gareth Reynolds, 22:13]
  ["Ben felt a more thorough contempt for him than I have ever felt for any man living." - Dave Anthony, 30:00]

---

Franklin's Time in England and the Stamp Act Controversy

Franklin's extended stay in England serves as a focal point for discussing his diplomatic efforts and the looming Stamp Act, which would become a catalyst for American independence.

• Negotiations and Frustrations:
  Franklin's inability to sway the Penn family and the British government's stubbornness are portrayed through their discussions. Gareth mockingly refers to the bureaucratic impasse:
  ["Why am I talking to you? If you can't do anything, just go to the charter." - Dave Anthony, 30:22]

• Stamp Act and Public Reaction:
  The implementation of the Stamp Act and the immediate backlash from American colonists are covered extensively. The hosts illustrate how Franklin's propaganda and the public's protests led to significant political changes:
  ["John Penn... calls it a dishonor and disgrace." - Dave Anthony, 43:25]
  ["They need a Law and Order president." - Gareth Reynolds, 56:19]

• Ben Franklin's Shift in Stance:
  Initially a monarchist, Franklin's perspectives begin to shift as he witnesses the growing unrest and effectiveness of colonial resistance.
  ["He changes course. He starts writing letters. He uses pseudonyms to write propaganda..." - Dave Anthony, 56:03]

---

Franklin's Inventions and Personal Quirks

Beyond his political life, Franklin's inventive spirit and personal eccentricities are explored with humor and admiration.

• Glass Harmonica:
  Franklin's invention of the glass harmonica and its subsequent cultural impact, including its association with witchcraft and the infamous belief that it drove musicians insane, are discussed:
  ["He demonstrated it to Beethoven and Mozart... superstitious beliefs." - Dave Anthony, 38:08]

• Attempted Alphabet Reform:
  The comedic segment on Franklin's failed attempt to reform the English alphabet showcases his innovative yet impractical side. Gareth and Dave joke about the complexity and redundancy of Franklin's proposed changes:
  ["He came up with a new one. He got rid of six letters..." - Dave Anthony, 61:55]
  ["We don't need our letters... Because our language sucks." - Gareth Reynolds, 62:37]

• Diet and Health Fads:
  Franklin's obsession with health trends, such as his alternative bathing methods and corn-based diets, are portrayed humorously:
  ["He decided to fix it. He liked hanging it out." - Dave Anthony, 59:27]
  ["Picturing this naked weirdo just eating succotash." - Gareth Reynolds, 60:32]

---

Personal Life and Relationships

The dynamic between Franklin and his family, particularly his strained relationship with his wife Deborah and his son William, is examined with a blend of humor and pathos.

• Estrangement from Family:
  The tension arising from Franklin's extended absences and his complicated relationship with his son is a recurring theme:
  ["He hadn't seen her for 11 years, so maybe he must have traveled a couple times." - Dave Anthony, 79:03]
  ["He just loves playing the field and getting gout." - Gareth Reynolds, 57:30]

• Franklin's Grandchildren and Legacy:
  The episode touches upon Franklin's role as a grandfather and his influence on future generations, albeit in a satirical manner:
  ["He met with a bunch of academics... Ben expects to be away for about a year." - Dave Anthony, 25:06]

---

Conclusion and Teasers for Part Three

As the episode wraps up, Dave and Gareth reflect on Franklin's tumultuous journey from a loyalist to a key figure in America's fight for independence. They tease the upcoming third part, promising to delve deeper into Franklin's transformation and eventual presidency.

• Final Reflections:
  ["You are listening to Joe Rogan... We need to have Alex Jones on the show." - Gareth Reynolds, 44:41]
  ["Ben Franklin was the most influential man in the... he becomes President of the United States of America." - Dave Anthony, 81:11]

• Teaser for Part Three:
  The hosts build anticipation for the next installment by highlighting unresolved threads in Franklin's story, including his legal troubles and final contributions to American society.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. "Ben wrote propaganda to organize a militia."

   • Dave Anthony at 10:19

2. "Postmaster, it's just... you control the mail. You're in charge of the mail."

   • Gareth Reynolds at 11:30

3. "Why am I talking to you? If you can't do anything, just go to the charter."

   • Dave Anthony at 30:22

4. "He changes course. He starts writing letters. He uses pseudonyms to write propaganda..."

   • Dave Anthony at 56:03

5. "He's a nudist. He's just... I know he isn't. He likes hanging it out."

   • Gareth Reynolds at 59:38

6. "We don't need our letters... Because our language sucks."

   • Gareth Reynolds at 62:37

7. "Ben Franklin was the most influential man in the... he becomes President of the United States of America."

   • Dave Anthony at 81:11

---

Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds adeptly blend historical facts with creative storytelling, offering listeners a nuanced portrayal of Benjamin Franklin. They emphasize Franklin's complex character—his brilliance as an inventor and statesman juxtaposed with his personal shortcomings and political machinations. The hosts highlight how Franklin's actions and decisions were pivotal in shaping the early American republic, all while maintaining an engaging and humorous narrative that makes history accessible and entertaining.

---

Resources and References

The hosts mention several sources and references that provide additional context and depth to their discussions:

• Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
• Biography by Ronald Clark
• Benjamin Franklin House Museum
• Reuters Archives.com
• "The Wagon Affair" by J. Bell Whitfield and Leonard W. Labery in the Proceedings of American Philosophical Society
• "Ben Franklin to Jacques Baba de Bong"
• Washington Post, LA Times, History.net, All Things Liberty, and Philly Magazine

These sources underpin the historical accuracy of the episode while allowing listeners to explore Franklin's life further.

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 661 of The Dollop successfully combines meticulous historical research with sharp comedic elements, offering a compelling and entertaining exploration of Benjamin Franklin's role in American history. Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds not only inform but also engage their audience, making complex historical events both understandable and amusing. As they set the stage for the concluding part of Franklin's story, listeners are left eagerly anticipating the resolution of Franklin's multifaceted legacy.

Transcript

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Cheng, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Dave Anthony]

You are listening to the Dollop and the Dollop is brought to you by Rocket Money. Look, Gareth, Rocket Money. It's a personal finance. You look. It's a personal finance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You look at me like that. You look. Just look.

[Dave Anthony]

It helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You can see all your subscriptions in one place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't like the way you looked at me. How about that?

[Dave Anthony]

Know where your money's going. If you don't want to pay for it anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You keep your hands off of my money.

[Dave Anthony]

It worked great for me. I was able to cancel subscriptions. They also Rocket Money lowered my Internet yearly fee about 300 bucks. A little over 300 bucks. Karen. The Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps. Features, features.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love Rocket Money. So much so that when I reach out to them and talked about getting revenge on you for the way you looked at me, they were very open to it.

[Dave Anthony]

They don't do that. They save you money on subscriptions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They said it's a carve out. I got a carve out.

[Dave Anthony]

So listen, stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com dollop that's rocket money.com dollop rocket money.com dollop Gareth, we are also brought to you by Litter Robot. There's a million reasons why you love your cat, particularly Gareth. He loves him in really uncomfortable ways. The companionship, the affection, the rubs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Buttholes in your face. You have no choice but to look.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's just stop talking. Well, speaking of buttholes, the worst part about having a cat is the litter box situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When people say they don't want to have a cat, or when people come at you with the dog versus cat stuff. There's such an easy knock on the cat situation. That is the litter. The Litter, Litter box. I cannot tell you how much having the Litter robot has. Just that is a wash because the litter cleans itself. I used to have this dread of, like, oh, I didn't clean it for like two days. Oh, it's going to be. It. You just, it just takes care of itself. It spins. It filters out the bad litter that's been used. It keeps the clean litter. The only thing you have to do is just keep an eye on it at the level and you empty it literally once, twice a week. It does not smell. There's an app, so it'll tell you when your cat's going to the bathroom. So let's say you're doing a show and your cat takes a poop before the show. You get to.

[Dave Anthony]

People get how apps work. They get how that works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's in your phone. It lives in a house in your phone. And your phone is your wallet with numbers.

[Dave Anthony]

Look, here's what we're gonna give you. As a special holiday offer, Whisker is offering up to $100 off litter robot bundles. And as a special offer to our listeners, you can get an additional $50 off when you go to stopscooping.com dollop this is Litter Robot's best offer yet. Up to $100 off Litter Robot bundles and an additional $50 off when you Go to stopscooping.comdollop that's stopscooping.com dollop Gareth the dollop is going to be on tour. We are going out in March. The Tour starts on March 16th in Tempe, Arizona. The next night, March 17th, we're going to be in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Then the next night we go to Oklahoma City. And then the next night we'll be in Tulsa at the Bricktown Comedy Club. And then, Gareth, the next night we'll be at the Granada Theater in Dallas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the night after that. I want an apology. I want an apology.

[Dave Anthony]

After that, we'll be at the House of Blues in Houston, Texas. And the night after that? Well, the day it's a 5pm show. Cap City Comedy Club, Austin, Texas. Saturday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me tell you, I've done 5pm shows at Cap City. The energy is still there, right? Dollop podcast.com.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You can get your [e-mail] you're listening to the Dollar All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my pie boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, Garrett Thry. I'm not sure what this Pie guy stuff is, but I have no idea what the topic. I do know what the topics are going to be about America's greatest president, Benjamin Franklin.

[Dave Anthony]

You just seem like a pie boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't eat pie.

[Dave Anthony]

That doesn't matter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am.

[Dave Anthony]

It's, it's a. It's about. It's a vibe. Pie boy is a vibe more than it is an actual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like pie.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't. Pie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, I can't eat pie. What are you talking about?

[Dave Anthony]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, is pie good for you?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Why in the. Yeah, it's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's not. Pie is not good for you.

[Dave Anthony]

You can have a piece of pie once in a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Once in a while you can have a piece of pie.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure. You just said you don't eat pie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't actively eat pie. I eat pie like once a year eats pie. Well, it sounds like you do the way you're so defensive about eating pie.

[Dave Anthony]

Like once a year also. But you said I don't eat pie. It's like saying I don't eat meat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't eat pie. I don't. I eat. There was a time when I ate a lot of pie.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, this is different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There was a time when, dare I say, I was going pie crazy. It was a dark phase. And by the way, I've had the body to show that I ate pie. And that's when I learned I can't eat pie anymore. I can't do it.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know what goes on with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody does.

[Dave Anthony]

But it's not good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not good. I'm like, just not good. I just need some. I need. What I need is just. I need a circle. I need an inner circle. All right, all right. Good one.

[Dave Anthony]

1745, King George's War was raging and it strained Britain's relationship with the colonies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

The Pennsylvania assembly, which is dominated by Quakers. Peace loving Quakers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We like Quakers.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, they refuse to contribute money to the war. Seems they're the quakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Seems so strange now.

[Dave Anthony]

But they did give £4,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could that be our third party? Could we do Quakers?

[Dave Anthony]

I'd love to have a Quaker party. I would 100%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could we do it?

[Dave Anthony]

Quakers are fantastic. I would 100 support.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's got name identification. We've got oats.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? Let's just pitch a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Seems a bit much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's just pitch a little bit. Quakers. We got oats. Now we need votes.

[Dave Anthony]

They gave £4,000 for bread, beef, pork, hey, flour, wheat or other grain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'M going to retire.

[Dave Anthony]

Last episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's gone.

[Dave Anthony]

Come up with another terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, we'll figure throw me a little guy and I'll make him super strange.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, the governor, who was the guy that the pension owners of the land, right, hired to stymie anything the assembly wanted to do. So they interpreted other grain to mean gunpowder.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they. This is so American.

[Dave Anthony]

This is so American. The Quaker's like, you some money for bread, pork, beef, wheat or other grain. And the Governor's like, so other grain means gunpowder, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you mean inedible gun grain.

[Dave Anthony]

Because gunpowder has grains.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's grainy.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

France starts recruiting Native Americans people to do raids across the colonies and attack ships off the coast. First nations, as they're called up there, okay? The assembly refused.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do we feel about that?

[Dave Anthony]

Whatever they're gonna call them, they treat the Native Americans just as badder, if not worse than we do, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But they're coming to get us, the first nations people.

[Dave Anthony]

They're not us. I'm not. I'm in any world. You're a whitey. I am.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a white.

[Dave Anthony]

My people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up. White. You're going to Arab Wienerschnitzel when the.

[Dave Anthony]

Irish fight the English. That I'm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your deal? Why you. Why are you coming at me?

[Dave Anthony]

The English are the worst.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not true.

[Dave Anthony]

It is true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, look, we're sorry, all right? We've done a bad. We've had what we call an oopsie daisy. Upsy danzy. Killed so many people on fucking accident, mate.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you slaughtered people on board.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, because we needed a few little things from the shop.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, the shop is other countries.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, but we needed them. We was starving, man.

[Dave Anthony]

You weren't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we were.

[Dave Anthony]

You're totally gluttonous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we was blood. Yeah. It's a disease. We've got gluttony. We've got a feeling.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not a disease.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is. It's a medical condition.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not a medical condition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course it is. That's what I got those ads for it. What I say is, well, you know, ask your doctor if pillaging's right for you because you suffer from gluttony. Come on in. Honestly, come on in. Come on in. No, come on in.

[Dave Anthony]

This is not what we're saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get on board. Look, we. You know the phrase, gotta break a few eggs to have all the eggs?

[Dave Anthony]

That's not a phrase.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, well, now it is. Gotta break A few eggs. Have all the eggs.

[Dave Anthony]

You're horrendous, people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look. Are these the teeth of people who've been eating everything?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, well.

[Dave Anthony]

So the Assembly. The assembly refuses to fund a militia, even though France is having the Native Americans do raids. So Ben writes propaganda to make it happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice.

[Dave Anthony]

He called for a voluntary defense militia, and he organizes meeting, and the meeting is so popular, they have to hold a second meeting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. And Ben claims he added a show.

[Dave Anthony]

He did. He had a show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where you want to be adding shows.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Ben claimed 1200 men signed the petition, although historians say that's a huge exaggeration. Okay, so he's a big. He. That's who Ben is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a. It's a little. A little trumpy.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a little trumpy and stuff to him. Yeah. Ben became a justice of the peace, and then he becomes a member of Philadelphia's Common Council, and then he becomes an alderman. And in 1971. Sorry, in 1751, he ran for the assembly, and his son takes his clerk job in the assembly because you got to keep that printing money coming in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1753, the Postmaster General for America died, and Ben lobbied for and got the job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So his first act was to appoint his son as postmaster of Philadelphia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, postmaster, it's just. You control the mail. You're in charge of the mail. So he's. It is a big deal back then, because the male's information, money position. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whereas now you're kind of like, come on, Stamps should stay the same, weirdo.

[Dave Anthony]

Later, his brother would have that job. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So, I mean, although nepotism is very common, Ben took it to the extreme.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting.

[Dave Anthony]

So in 1775, he returned to Philadelphia after a year of traveling. He had been out trying to regulate and improve post offices.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And Britain is sending troops to Ohio, which is partly occupied by the French.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so funny, isn't it?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. To think that that was ever partly France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, in the middle of France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know it's not the middle of the country then, but, like, you were just like, jesus Christ, get out of here. Guys. We're trying to make a whole thing here. And unfortunately, we claim Ohio.

[Dave Anthony]

And also, can we just say that literally nothing of France was left in Ohio? That place is the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. There's, like, an auburn pen. This is a legacy. Huh? You understand?

[Dave Anthony]

Ben meets the general in charge, the American. The British.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Of Ohio.

[Dave Anthony]

American. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's furious because they only have 25 wagons and they need 150 to fight the French.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The general.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Okay, so Ben promises he'll get him more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is such a funny time, right? To be like. Ben Franklin is promising more wagons so the British can uproot the French from Ohio.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, we're not going to defeat the French unless we've got more wagons. I will return with more wagons. Look at them. There are the six Trust with more wagons, huh? By the way, this is Cincinnati.

[Dave Anthony]

A what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cincinnati.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, Cincinnati.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Or we call Cincinnati.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounded like you had a ch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sometimes we do it.

[Dave Anthony]

Cincinnati.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, don't listen to what I say. Some of them are pretending to be French and they're actually Italian. Hey, come on. What are you talking about? Are we a trader? Chinchened. That's not something I want to do. I will return with more wagons.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that down in Southernland?

[Gareth Reynolds]

One of them was done. Well, yes, that is fair.

[Dave Anthony]

So Ben writes a letter in the local paper and said generous Pennsylvanians should offer to rent their wagons and horses to the English.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's a bit of a wagon Dunkirk.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yes. And he suggested if they didn't get enough wagons voluntarily, they soldiers would probably just come and take them anyway. So you should do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Depends. It doesn't bother me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Appear magnanimous or we'll steal them.

[Dave Anthony]

And Ben's like, I'm just letting you guys know, I'm not part of this. I'm just letting you know. So within two weeks, he had 150 wagons, horses, and drivers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And he gives word to the farmers the supplies will be returned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This sucks for farmers, though.

[Dave Anthony]

They're going into war also, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wagon war.

[Dave Anthony]

The British army march into Ohio with 1300 troops. They are very quickly ambushed. The drivers panic. They cut out on their horses and leave the wagons.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so the wagons are. Hey, how did it go? Our wagon. Where are our wagons?

[Dave Anthony]

So I know you gave me two horses and a wagon, and I came.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back on and we need them, and you said they'd come back soon, so.

[Dave Anthony]

I came back on one horse, and that's kind of where we're at.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're kind of missing. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

What way?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wagon wise, where we at?

[Dave Anthony]

The wagon decided to stay in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the wagon is just the wheel.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, but it had different ideas. So I took this horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so I'll take the horse I took.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I need the horse to get back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To what?

[Dave Anthony]

To where I live.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To your home. What about the wagons? When are you going to Go get.

[Dave Anthony]

Our wagon is still fighting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go get the wagon's not fighting. It's an inanimate object. Go get the wagon.

[Dave Anthony]

Fighting the friend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We need the wagon.

[Dave Anthony]

That'll happen. It might just be at that point like ash in a cup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The wagon.

[Dave Anthony]

Ash in a cup. Wagon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, then you're cremating the wagons.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I think the French might cremate the wagon after they take the stuff out. The stuff being guns and things of that nature.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It feels like we just don't get wagons back.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you heard of the term ass kicking?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I can assume what it means.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

I. I don't know what happened. I just assume I ran away on a horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That's kind of where I was going with that. It's like, bad, though. Yeah, yeah, but that's where I'm saying it's bad. Yeah, well, that's kind of. That feels like a surrender.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know if it's a surrender. If I run away, it surrenders. If it's. I'm like, oh, I give up, you can have me. But I kept me and the horse, which I renamed, so it's not your horse anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean? Peanut Butter is no longer named Peanut Butter.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is it, Toots?

[Dave Anthony]

Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'S much worse named.

[Dave Anthony]

It's more realistic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. See you later.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye. It's been a nightmare.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So they got their asses kicked. A thousand British soldiers died. Ben. Quote, this gave us Americans the first suspicion that our exalted ideas of the prowess of British regulars had not been well founded.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'll bluster, you know, just like, don't worry, we've got it. Well, look, your wagons are gone and most of us are dead. And now the French have taken most of Cincinnati at this point. Columbus is also gone. Cleveland nobody wants still to this day. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So the general was killing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great place.

[Dave Anthony]

The. All the records, all the financial records were on one of the wagons. Who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the fuck was the point of that?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know, Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Make sure we've got all of our taxes and documents on one of the wagons, and then we'll plan out through the French.

[Dave Anthony]

Put the one with the records up front.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. We've lost all our records.

[Dave Anthony]

So Ben gets invoices for about £20,000 from the farmers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And he is in a bit of a panic, and he advances a thousand of his own money. He never gets compensated for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well.

[Dave Anthony]

And then it takes tons of convincing to get the British to pay the bills.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

So when I've done anything, it was called like the wagon. What was it called? It was the wagon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, they should have called the new wheel.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, I try with you, but it gets harder.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, it's hard for wheel.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I can't even find it. That's weird. But it's a thing. It's a big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they were ripped off.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, basically. Okay. So he, you know, that. That knocks him back financially a little bit. Because £1,000 is a lot of fucking money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

As you can imagine. You can't, but other people can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it sounds terrible, but I'm glad I don't have to deal with it.

[Dave Anthony]

So the it. Now Pennsylvania is more vulnerable after the defeat because. Sure, yeah, they took.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they're also so low on wagons.

[Dave Anthony]

The assembly wants to raise money for defense and they want to do that with a land tax. But the pens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. Now. Let's. Come on now, look, I agree we're in dire straits. There's no doubt. But we've got to figure out a way to pay for this. Because otherwise they're going to come here and they're going to take this land. But we can't be paying for it by taxing the pens.

[Dave Anthony]

You'll lose your land if you don't. I mean, you should pay tax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on, hold on. The goal here is for us to keep the land.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But not pay for the land.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. So they're going to come.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's hold those two goals very high.

[Dave Anthony]

Unless we can raise money to raise an army.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, we must. And we must.

[Dave Anthony]

They'll take your land. So we have to raise an army.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. We have to.

[Dave Anthony]

And the only way to raise an army is with taxing your land.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, taxing or some other way of doing it, that's the way. We can't be taxing us. We have the land. We need to keep that. And we're not going to be able to pay for something like that. Where we're going to get. Hey, where we going to get all that money from? You ever think about that? You ever use your brain?

[Dave Anthony]

You're just doing it as a character and I want to kill you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, stop it.

[Dave Anthony]

You. So of course, the whole circus of writing the bill and having the gun of her exempt it again starts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So back and forth for months. And the attacks are getting closer and closer to Philadelphia, France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you hold? We're just trying to figure out what our plan is.

[Dave Anthony]

Over Here the bodies of a murdered family were rolled around the streets in a wagon and dumped on the steps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We do have wagons at the State.

[Dave Anthony]

House as a protest against inaction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they faked whose bodies.

[Dave Anthony]

These are the murdered. A family murdered by the French or the Native Americans. And so they put him in a wagon. They're like, here, this is what you guys did. They just dumped the bodies out in the state.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was like, do something that's crazy. Not sure if that's going to get us working.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, now we have to raise taxes to move bodies. Like, I don't know what you guys are doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wasting wheelbarrows.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben writes this big article in which he has three characters. Mr. X, Mr. Y, Mr. Z, discussing, like, debating a militia bill. And the pro guy, Mr. X, wins the debate. And this propaganda, like, is totally effective.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His goal in that is to get the pens to pay for the defense, basically.

[Dave Anthony]

So the governor wrote to Thomas Penn, quote, Since Mr. Ben has put himself at the head of the assembly, they have gone to greater lengths than ever and have not only discovered the warmth of their resentment against your family, but are using every means in their power, even while their country is invaded, to wrest the government out of your hands and to take the whole powers of it into their own.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The governor is like, writing his little, like, hurt journal. But it's. It's. This is like, obviously the power of his press and, you know. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So raids are increasing. So the governor now has to approach Ben and ask him to take charge of the northwestern frontier, which is infested by the enemy. So we're talking about Native Americans who may have been paid by France, but also lived there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Also. Okay, whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben, quote, I undertook this charge, though I did not conceive myself well qualified for it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. So he is becoming a military man, essentially.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, yeah, he's supposed to set up whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben Sylvania.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's not at all qualified, obviously, but he's going to do it. His biographer, quote, this account, like many of Ben's, tends to emphasize the importance of Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So even his biographer is basically like, this goes, yeah, but you. But we talked about this before. You talked about it. But it's like, who's writing this shit? A lot of this is his. Right. I mean, it's. It's one thing when you have the diary of a person.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it's another thing when this person has a journal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. An autobiography is very different than a journal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So Ben and his colleagues, Fox and Hamilton, not that Different Hamilton fair and balance. They set out with 150 Calvary and a wagon train on a 50 day expedition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A wagon train. So a bunch of wagons.

[Dave Anthony]

A bunch of wagons. Wagons are back. They found small towns and settlements half deserted and living in fear. Ben orders the scrub around the sediments cleared so they have a clear line of sight and arranged for to train the locals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben is. Yeah, he doesn't know what he's doing.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he's getting. He's got guys with him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, get your. Everybody get a stick.

[Dave Anthony]

Wagons. Also, who has a typewriter?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, listen, let's. Who's got a kite, a key, some string and a good time?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he's basically doing a Seven Samurai, right? Like the movie. Like they. They're going in to help the villagers, but train them to fight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they're also doing the Last Samurai.

[Dave Anthony]

By late January, he had done all he could with the money and the resources given. And he heads home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He heard that crowds of people wanted to thank him for his service, so he snuck off. Because he's modest, right? That's what he said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Again, this is total bullshit.

[Dave Anthony]

Right, Ben? Quote, the people happen to love me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because that's my fault. I love this. I love that this is seeping out now.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, everybody likes old Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would. My arm would have gotten too tired from shaking so many hands. No. Ben Franklin may have never really been about the credit.

[Dave Anthony]

So the governor offers him the role of colonel in the Regiment of Philadelphia. Thomas Penn is not happy with that appointment. And a couple months later, the governor resigns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, he got fired for appointing Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So the new governor tells Ben he hoped they could work together and that Thomas Penn promised if his amendments passed, quote, I might depend on adequate acknowledgments and recompense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Bribe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He's offered bribe, Ben. So it was back to the government refusing to sign off on the financial bills. So we're back there because Ben did not take. Did not accept the bribe. All right, so the assembly appoints a committee of grievances to list the complaints they had against the proprietor prior being the pens. They couldn't grant aid to either the king's wars or their own defense. That the pen should be taxed like everyone else. And that if they refused to be taxed, why should they get a say on how taxation money was used?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Makes sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. That's taxation without representation or not taxation with representation. Whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

And that judges were appointed by the governor at his will. And Pleasure rather than on merit. Okay, so they're objecting to. Really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also just. It is. I mean, as we've discussed, it's just very deflating to be like. That's always been. It's always a problem.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So they decided Ben should go to England to talk to Thomas Penn. Oh, did I mention he's not even in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's in the uk.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He's just a rich guy who lives in Pennsylvania who owns land.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How's that going over there?

[Dave Anthony]

So he. So he doesn't really care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So no wonder. He's just kind of like, whatever, take your time. We'll figure it out. Oh, you know the French in 70.

[Dave Anthony]

70. In 1757, he heads to New York with his son and quote, two black servants. Slaves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben. Ben, slaves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does he. Because back then having slaves was very in vogue. So why is he saying that? Is he just. Does he recognize that it's inhumane?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, I don't know how in. I mean, Philadelphia does become like a less. But it's the main place for freed people. So I don't know what it is. The Quakers are not. Mostly not slavery.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's bring them back, peeps.

[Dave Anthony]

Anyway, according to Benjamin Franklin House Museum, the slaves were named Peter and King. And King would run away the next year. Quote, Slavery had no legal basis in England, but black people previously enslaved in overseas colonies were often still treated as enslaved when taken to England. Some individuals used the opportunity of being on English soil to escape. And notices for runaway slaves were often featured in newspapers. The campaign in Britain to abolish slavery would not begin until the 1760s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So Ben apparently bought five other slaves at some point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He also made money from slavery because he ran ads for slaves in his papers. But then he also published anti slavery books written by Quakers, which, if you think about it, again, is making money off of slavery.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because he's.

[Dave Anthony]

Because you're making money off the debate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're creating a right.

[Dave Anthony]

So he goes to London and stays with Peter Collinson, who's the guy who introduced him to electricity. And Ben expects to be away for about a year. He has his own room and a house. His son William lives there and they're two slaves. But Ben seems am, quote, ambivalent to Deborah and Sally, his wife and daughter who he left behind in Philadelphia. And he had strongly suggested to Deborah that she just would not be happy in England.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you'll hate it.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, you're not going to like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You will not like it. Neither will Sally. It's a terrible. There's no women here.

[Dave Anthony]

You should stay here with the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's not any women here.

[Dave Anthony]

Stay here where you might be killed by the French.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go right on the edge of Ohio and Pennsylvania.

[Dave Anthony]

So it was well over a month before he got a meeting with Thomas Penn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Finally sets up a meeting. It's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To meet the governor of Pennsylvania.

[Dave Anthony]

Nope. Because Penn. He finds out, he's just gonna send his lawyer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Get closer.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben. It's fucking pissed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And then Ben gets really sick. He's sick for seven weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, shit.

[Dave Anthony]

And then he recovers, and negotiations start. And he is completely, repeatedly outmaneuvered by Penn because Ben doesn't really know how things work in England. And Penn said he can't give rights to the assembly to make laws because he didn't have that power under the charter. He's not allowed to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, in what way? Because he doesn't.

[Dave Anthony]

The charter gave him land, but the charter says you have to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also great. It's a great way to make Ben spin his wheels because he's like, well, go to the charter.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's so far. Go do it. Come back.

[Dave Anthony]

Why am I talking to you? If you can't do anything, just go to the charter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go to the charter.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben said you had no right to do anything in Pennsylvania government. If that's the case, if everything is up to the charter, then you actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. What's the point?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Penn laughed and said, if people were fooled into thinking the Penns had so much power, then that was on them. Ben felt, quote, at that moment, a more thorough contempt for him than I have ever felt for any man living. A contempt that I cannot express in words, But I believe my countenance expressed it strongly. So it's not going well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

And Ben wrote about the meeting to a friend, and somehow Penn gets a hold of that letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uh. Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

And now compromise looks impossible because Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Talked a lot of shit.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Friend.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's there for a year, and he realizes this isn't. This is not gonna be over quick. His wife was sending him food that he was missing from American food. Cranberries.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I mean, those are definitely gonna be like Craisins by. Get there. Pippins, apple tarts. Okay. Like a pie.

[Dave Anthony]

Hams.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's sending hams across the ocean.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, hams are salted. Right. So they probably.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can he get that there?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. Maybe the American ham is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put four other hams together and you'll see what I can do.

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, he's not supposed to be here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know we said we were done with me, but take four hams, put them together, and then put some toilet water on them.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put toilet water on them.

[Dave Anthony]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then you'll see me in my realest form.

[Dave Anthony]

Get the. Away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no.

[Dave Anthony]

This is like a Candyman. Candyman. Candy man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, he's very much like a Power Ranger Candyman thing.

[Dave Anthony]

I do that with pies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Trust me, Ben. This will be perfect. Ha. Oh, Ben. Ben, it's your old friend, Keeler.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's not your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, it is.

[Dave Anthony]

I just made.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no. You formed me, friend. And now we've got some things to do. Franklin and Keeler or Keller. My name is that guy. I'm that feller.

[Dave Anthony]

Garrett. The dollop is also brought to you by Oraphrames. Yeah, that's right. Aura frames. So Gareth and I have aura frames. I have one in the kitchen, which I use for dog pictures. And man, are there a lot of dog pictures on there. And my dog pictures are always cute and fantastic. And there it is in the kitchen. And they just cycles through the photos. Easy, easy to put all on my phone and pick them out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then the problem is it makes your regular framed photos. You're like. That's kind of basic.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It ruins the regular frame.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's killed the regular.

[Dave Anthony]

I gave an order to my mom. I can do the same thing. I can load her frame up with pictures. She loves it. It's not hard for. For the older folks to figure it out. Let's put it that way. The tech is you just put it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In there for them. They think it's magic.

[Dave Anthony]

You can. They do think it's magic. They don't understand what happened. And I usually just tell my mom. Goblins did it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. No, that's a good play.

[Dave Anthony]

It'll even pair pictures together, like two pictures of the same person. So it's. It's pretty cool. No memory cards. No. No USB's required. Wire cutter named it the number one best digital photo frame. So for a limited time, visit auraframes.com and get $45 off OR's bestselling Carver Matte frames by using promo code DOLLOP at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code dollop. This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply. Gareth. We're also brought to you By Nutraful. You asked me what Nutrafol is. I heard you say it, Gareth. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know what it is. We've talked about it.

[Dave Anthony]

By over 1 million people. You see thicker, stronger, faster, growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months. With Nutrafol, I started using.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But tell. Tell the story.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I started using Nutrafol a while back. I've had a few people say stuff to me. My friend Josh was like, did you get plugs or something? No, I've been using Nutrivo. And then my haircutter was like, are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You doing your hair cutter?

[Dave Anthony]

The person who shaves the top.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not. That's not the term.

[Dave Anthony]

The hair. Hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hairdresser.

[Dave Anthony]

Hair. She doesn't dress. Barber dress me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is a weird way to do it.

[Dave Anthony]

So anyway, she said. She said, look, are you using her Rogaine or something? Like, what are you doing? And I said, no, it's neutral. So people are noticing that my hair is thicker and lusher.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you say to her, because this could have been good if you said, what are you, a neutral fool? I'm using neutral foal. Did you do one of those?

[Dave Anthony]

No. I want people to like me. I've been taking it for months now. Well over six months, I've noticed hair growth. My wife has noticed it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You said it saved your marriage.

[Dave Anthony]

Saved my marriage. So whether you're gifting to yourself or a loved one a gift, give the gift of great hair growth this holiday season. Right now, Nutraville is offering our listeners $10 off any order. Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutravolt.com and enter the promo code, the Dollop Gift. The dollop gift. Nutrevolt.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code, the dollop gift. That's nutrafol.com, promo code, the Dollop Gift. And now back to our Benjamin President. President Benjamin Franklin. Episode number two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Respect.

[Dave Anthony]

Respect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Respect.

[Dave Anthony]

Respect.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today.

[Dave Anthony]

That's livenation.comcomedy Pen Wined and Dined influential people to try to get help. He's going out six nights a week. He's drinking two bottles of claret at dinner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is so. This is like. He develops people in the. Oh, my God. He fucking party got gay goat.

[Dave Anthony]

What's already. That's party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's partying.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're like, I don't know, man. I've just been drinking a lot of brandy and gravy's been on everything.

[Dave Anthony]

Holy shit, My legs are fat and they hurt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, we going gout tonight.

[Dave Anthony]

In the summer of 1759, Ben and William go on a tour of Scotland. And days after that, William learns that he's actually an illegitimate son. I think he maybe thought Deborah was his mom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And no one knows who his mother is. So not great between father and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Ben knows who his mother is.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but he doesn't tell him, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he knows. He has to know.

[Dave Anthony]

Or maybe he's just like, I banged this lady and she had you in the street and I grabbed you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's crazy. Then he'd be like, you might not even be my kid in Edinburgh. All I know is there's a lady who lost a lot of weight one day, and then I had you.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it doesn't make sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben met with a bunch of academics, and Ben claims Adam Smith consulted him chapter after chapter in the writing of wealth of Nations. Although absolutely no one knows if that's true. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's just taking some credit. Let's say it's not right. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben invented a musical instrument called the glass harmonica.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I imagine life without that.

[Dave Anthony]

He demonstrated it to Beethoven and Mozart. Both then wrote music for the instrument, which created an international sensation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

And superstition. In America, the harmonica was said to be an instrument of witchcraft.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay. Wow. Imagine inventing an instrument and people. I mean, that's basically what rock and roll was. That's the devil's wood.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. It's those same people doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

People who played it were said to have later gone insane. Franz Anton Mesmer, a pioneer hypnosis, used it to entrance the subjects.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. So maybe it was a bit of witchcraft.

[Dave Anthony]

Some are monarchists today, of which there's not many.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some are. What are monocysts believe?

[Dave Anthony]

All the lead because it had lead that there was lead in. I think in the pipes. Different people were just levels or whatever that would give it the sound. And they think that may have led to Beethoven's death because Beethoven was dug up and they Found that his hair had a hundred times more than you should have of lead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So Ben Franklin killed Beethoven.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what some people think. But everything had lead in it back then, so you can't really say. But, yeah, there's some people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is huge news that not a lot of people have talked about this. This is big.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you know, Dave, this is how you get fucking popular. Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben Franklin was. Ben Franklin killed Beethoven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, that's big. And we're breaking that here. Boom.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, wait, this is where breaking stories happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're really making it so weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody knows that Franklin was a fucking murderer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We need to have Alex Jones on the show.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Normalize him like other podcasts.

[Dave Anthony]

So it wasn't that really populated America, Obviously. In Germany, the harmonica was popular for years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is the number one instrument for us.

[Dave Anthony]

But it was banned in some states after a baby's unexplained death during a harmonica concert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. What? I mean, how do you even go, like, wow, kids never die in this.

[Dave Anthony]

Time because there's the people who hate it. And they're like, that's what they said happened in America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

So the Pennsylvania assembly finally received an answer from Penn on their list of complaints. And he.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Line by line, no, no, no, no.

[Dave Anthony]

But the British government was demanding more money for the war. So the assembly passed another finance bill that taxed the pence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

This time, the governor signed it. And Penn is furious. And he asked the Privy Council to oppose most legislation that had been passed in previous years. So he's like, go back and say no to all of it. And this starts. Triggers hearings by the Board of Trade in England. And Ben talks to one of the members of the board on little sidebar, and he gets an agreement. The finance bill would be condemned publicly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay?

[Dave Anthony]

So the Privy Council would come out and go, no, no, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which pleases Penn.

[Dave Anthony]

But the Penns could be taxed fairly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Because they need money for the war.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Right. Get those wagons back. By the way, what's with the French? They're just like, okay, today we'll also take two steps, and then tomorrow maybe one. I don't know what. Okay, we slowly, slowly invade them.

[Dave Anthony]

So that's what he gone there for. To get the taxing of the pens. And the kings had signed off on it. So he was done with his job in England.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Did he go home?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Nope. Partly because the Privy Council had awarded Pennsylvania a bunch of money as compensation for a bad investment. Sorry for Compensation for all the money they'd lost because of Penn not being taxed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

But then Ben made a bad investment. Basically lost a bunch of the money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. What? I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just hilarious. So he's like, I'm gonna go on vacation. So he goes to Belgium and Holland, and he goes back and sees the coronation of King George iii. Ben is a monarchist. So he writes back about how great they are. The new king's awesome. And it's gonna be great. He finally goes home. November 1st, Ben Franklin comes back with him. Ben Franklin as a new. Sorry. William Franklin as a new wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Even though he just had a kid with another woman a couple months before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doesn't matter.

[Dave Anthony]

New bastard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're allowed to do that.

[Dave Anthony]

So double. He's a bastard. Bastard makes a bastard. William is now appointed governor of New Jersey, which the Penn family is furious about. John Penn, who's now the governor of Pennsylvania, calls it a dishonor and disgrace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hilarious that that guy's like this, you not just anyone can be governor.

[Dave Anthony]

And he says that in a letter to his uncle. Quote, if any gentleman had been appointed, it would have been a different case. I am hardly able to contain myself at the thought of it, because not only is it Ben's son, but it's a bastard. It is a bastard. Franklin. Governor is the ultimate nightmare.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So peace is declared with France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice.

[Dave Anthony]

But fighting is still going on with the Native Americans, who have a different problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Because their land is being stolen. And why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the Americans didn't like that France was invading their land. So they reached a peace deal, and then nobody understood why the Native Americans were fighting.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, France. Well, the English reached a peace deal with France, right? No, they know why the. They know why the Native Americans are fighting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But they're. But it's also like.

[Dave Anthony]

But the Native Americans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Same reason.

[Dave Anthony]

Just lost a lot of funding and health weapons and stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So white purchase. White people are just at a rage at this point because those savages.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's not do that thing where we assign color. I think that's really got.

[Dave Anthony]

You're listening to Joe Rogan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's really gotten in the way of a lot. I think there's a lot of. A lot's coming. Tracing back to us the more we talk about that stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

We'll be right back on SCARBOROUGH Country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. You see their meeting with Trump.

[Dave Anthony]

Holy fucking. Just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I love Morning Joe.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, but it's so funny. People like. I can't believe Morning Joe's doing this. He's always been a Republican.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was like, best friends with him.

[Dave Anthony]

I know. He fucking built him up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were like, best friends.

[Dave Anthony]

Christ. Okay, so the white people are now mad about the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know how they should. They should just change the name of that to Mo U R I N I Morning Joe.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because he's just sitting there, just like.

[Dave Anthony]

Sad little white guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, let's not do that.

[Dave Anthony]

We shouldn't. Yeah, Sorry. He killed the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Why not?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Why not?

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, sure. He killed an intern.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He gets to say all his lies. Why can't we say something?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So anyway, he ate it. So white people are mad and they start massacring Native Americans and they do a big massacre on peaceful Native Americans. And arrest warrants are issued for whites for the killings, which some people are like, that's treason. You can't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How dare you.

[Dave Anthony]

We can't kill them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's wrong. I think what they're not under. Hold on. Let's just. The people you're going after are also white. Do you see what's so confusing?

[Dave Anthony]

So the white vengeance mob is getting larger. And by February 1764, hundreds of men march on Philadelphia, right? And Governor John Penn seeks help from Benny. Ben Franklin, he's a great enemy who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hates because he needs him in the paper to use his power.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben's the most influential man in the. In the area. So Ben rides out and he meets this mob eight miles from Philadelphia. And he gives a big speech and he talks them into just going home and not doing what they're going to do. Governor Penn then, quote, offered a bounty for Indian scalps, male or female, and took no action against the white murders of indigenous people for the massacre. So this fucking pisses off Ben because he feels like he's been used.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He negotiates to basically stop.

[Dave Anthony]

He negotiates it for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then this guy's like. And then this guy's like, yes. And now that that's over, I'm offering money for the murder of a male or female native man.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's start murdering again. So, yeah, he just totally uses it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He makes him look like a chump.

[Dave Anthony]

So Ben writes a pamphlet decrying the actions of white settlers, saying the alleged barbarians of America at least only attacked their enemies, not their friends, as the white mob had done. So he's undermining with his propaganda stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

He again goes after the pens in the assembly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus.

[Dave Anthony]

And he calls for the crown to take over ownership completely. So he's like, get rid of these motherfuckers they are poison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These people are just overseas. I mean, look, you can't get them out of power. We need a king.

[Dave Anthony]

That's. Now, the governor refuses to sign any finance bills.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And the assembly petitions for King George III to take over the colony.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, that's crazy. I mean, that's. That's very weird, too.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because they're like, we started our own thing, as. Could you come over for a little bit?

[Dave Anthony]

But it's also like. Because Ben members talking King George III up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

That one's better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right, right. Yeah, right. Yeah. He's like, this is ridiculous, what you're doing. You can't govern like this. Hey, George, can you come over here and show him how to do it?

[Dave Anthony]

Can you? Yes. Another royal. So in October, there's an election. Penn's party runs a negative campaign on Ben focusing on his extravagances in London. So. Right. I mean, he did get colonizing. His son's a bastard. That's a big part of it. And he ends up losing by 25 votes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

So they go full Fox News, but his party wins the majority. So the party's like, hey, Ben, go back to England, convince the crown to take over the colony and to protest against this new tax that they're talking about in England, the stamp tax. Stamp tax is a fee on legal documents and papers. And so Massachusetts and Georgia also asked Ben to represent them with stamp tax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We also.

[Dave Anthony]

So other states are like, hey, get the king. Get in on this. We know. Yeah. Take care of some business. So he's now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is basically like returning America. Like, I mean, kind of. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, aren't you kind of being like.

[Dave Anthony]

It'S not America yet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, but the. Oh, right. Okay. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

It's still separate colonies, so under the king.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Under. We have not. How close are we to this?

[Dave Anthony]

He's going to undermine the pens. He's trying to get the pens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's now having the monarchy reset. The local governments, basically.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he's saying not. Yeah, reset. Like it's. It's to get rid of the pens and have somebody else come in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right, right.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just gonna be a different Dick Lando.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right, right.

[Dave Anthony]

That's all they want. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What year are we in?

[Dave Anthony]

It's 1764, I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're close.

[Dave Anthony]

We're close. And then Massachusetts and Georgia have a different gripe, and that's the stamp tax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and Georgia all upset about the stamp tax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

But Pennsylvania is separately upset about the owner. Okay, gotcha so he is like the key American diplomat and he leaves. He left his wife behind again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She was like, we should all go at bay or.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, Sally. And I should also join one of them.

[Dave Anthony]

I would love that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you and I actually have word, and it confirmed that there are women in England.

[Dave Anthony]

You said there are women in England. But they're all being killed by Jack the Ripper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Every single one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't believe that there's. That there's a lot of women over there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He's not there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was probably there once.

[Dave Anthony]

Decades, maybe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or maybe not.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, now they're mostly being killed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I should come over there with you and make sure that I couldn't protect you.

[Dave Anthony]

Not in England. I'm not allowed to stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't even seem broken up by the idea that I can come with you.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm crying every night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you? Yes. Show me the emotion I need to see from you to allow you to go do this again. Cause last time you were there, from what I heard, you just visited sex workers and got gout. But there's no tears coming out of your eyes.

[Dave Anthony]

I know the sound sounds very bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It doesn't.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a bad sounding sound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It doesn't.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds like I'm upset.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It sounds like a dog sleeping. It sounds like when a dog sleeps.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how my father taught me how to cry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But there's no tears. Ben.

[Dave Anthony]

I had my eye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben, I saw you cry once. I've seen. No, I've seen you cry.

[Dave Anthony]

That was fake, Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then why wouldn't you do that? Fake cry, I mean, it's just.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm thinking of Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben, do you love me?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just.

[Dave Anthony]

I love you better when I'm in England.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's weird.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. How long will we be gone?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How long will you be gone?

[Dave Anthony]

A couple months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't get gout.

[Dave Anthony]

I will not get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't.

[Dave Anthony]

I learned my lesson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't get gout.

[Dave Anthony]

Gout free.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And don't come back all syphilitic and stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No kids.

[Dave Anthony]

No kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't have any more kids.

[Dave Anthony]

I did that once. I'm not gonna do that again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just think at least I should go. Maybe Sally.

[Dave Anthony]

No, we have to know. You have to stay here and take care of Sally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I could bring her with us.

[Dave Anthony]

No, but she can't travel on the ocean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, she can. No, she did. What are you talking. How old is she? Seven. Well, she doesn't have a womb.

[Dave Anthony]

12. Maybe 15.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe I don't know how it works, to be quite honest with you.

[Dave Anthony]

I think they start with what they don't grow in the cell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't say they.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not like we. It's not like a shell on a crab.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't believe that. All of a sudden, it. Like balloons inside of us. Don't think that I'm thinking that, but I just.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a bad thing to bring up during the Benjamin Franklin episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How does a womb start? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, a woman is not born with a womb.

[Dave Anthony]

Fuck. Okay. So in London, he meets his illegitimate grandchild. Remember, because William had a master. Master William Temple. And Ben sends him to school in Kensington. So. Fancy school.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

He wrote to Deborah. He hoped she could join him. But then says he'll be home in a couple months. So don't bother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So don't bother. Stay there. I miss you endlessly, but stay there.

[Dave Anthony]

Coming soon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't worry.

[Dave Anthony]

His letters are full of contradictory statements. We have no idea how Deborah felt about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure I do.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. Yep. After a bit, Ben concluded the Stamp act is a done deal. He can't fight it. And it's not important as having Pennsylvania removed from Penn Family Control. Anyway. Okay, so he thinks the Americas will just accept the Stamp act without a lot of fuss. Like it'll be bad, but everyone's gonna take it. But it causes rioting, and those who enforce it were threatened with violence. People had their effigies burned. People are residing in Mass. Who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They need a Law and Order president.

[Dave Anthony]

I think Hamilton was stoned over the stamp actor. It might have been a different act. No, it wasn't Hamilton. I'm thinking of someone else. So in New York, they burned the governor's coach like it's a big fucking deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just teaching them how to play basketball. What did I do?

[Dave Anthony]

A cartoon depicted the devil whispering in Ben's ear. Quote, the shall be agent, Ben, for all my dominions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. That's like. So it's not really funny.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not a HAHA cartoon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not funny.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben's house is under threat and his daughter has to leave town. American businesses canceled trade with Britain. About 700,000 pounds of goods were canceled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Another 4 million are at risk of being canceled. The tax was only supposed to raise about £600,000. So they've already fucked up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben realizes he is on the wrong side. He's like, oh, people did care about this. He changes course. He starts writing letters. He uses pseudonyms to write Propaganda about how America should just ditch British products altogether so Britain should not piss them off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

He suggests that America wasn't relying on English wool. Quote, the very tales of American sheep are so laden with wool that each has a car or wagon on four little wheels to support and keep it from trailing on the ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh. He's saying that people like wool so much, they have a wagon.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he's saying that they don't need.

[Gareth Reynolds]

British wool because, oh, we got so much wool.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fuck you, wool. Yeah, we got wagons because we got so much wool.

[Dave Anthony]

We gotta have wagons behind the sheep to hold up the wool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

The House of Commons held hearings on the Stamp act and they called Ben as a witness. An observer said it was like, quote, a master being examined by a panel of schoolboys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Which, by the way, is my fetish.

[Dave Anthony]

The act is repealed a few weeks later.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. So the lesson being that rioting and effigy burning can be quite effective when done in unison.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, people like to talk about that. Now the main reason were the economic impacts from Britain, actually, and canceling trade and all that. But in Pennsylvania, it was rumored Ben had done it single handedly, which Bennett, of course, pushed. Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

In Philadelphia, there were celebrations with bonfires. The captain. The captain of the ship that brought the news was bought drinks and the crew was given presents.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's pretty cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Did Ben come home?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, do you want me to. Let me answer the question. Did he want to come home? Yes. Greatly. Was he able to?

[Dave Anthony]

No, no, no, no. He kept saying. He kept writing and saying. It be weeks or months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two weeks.

[Dave Anthony]

He did 10 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he really did not.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he did, absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He didn't love her. He just liked playing the field and getting gout. I mean, getting gout must be very fun.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you're partying to get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's what I mean. You're just. Yeah. You're just eating like a lot of shellfish. It hurts.

[Dave Anthony]

It hurts like fuck. When you get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, when you get it, it hurts. Then it feels like you're standing on a bed of needles. But until gout. The party to gout is awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Some think he stayed so long because the Stamp act was the first battle in a bigger war.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

So Ben does not want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was just like Charlie Sheen. Ben got aids.

[Dave Anthony]

He doesn't want independence for America. But he could see that there were fractures happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Because he's a monarchist.

[Dave Anthony]

He wrote to a friend about a thing that had long around this time Been in vogue for a little while, the cold bath.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's about to. What's up?

[Dave Anthony]

But he didn't like the shock of cold water. So Ben had come up with something different. He liked to shock an invention, as it were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's going to heat the bath.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote, I have found it much more agreeable to my constitution. This is shocking to bathe in another element.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh boy. So not warm water.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean milk, cold air.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not a thing though.

[Dave Anthony]

With this view, I rise early almost every morning and sit in my shake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like to be naked without any clothes, whatever.

[Dave Anthony]

Half an hour or an hour in the afternoon. He'd sit in the nude for a warm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In a bath.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you just sit around naked and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was like an air bath, he's.

[Dave Anthony]

Just nuding it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's like a nudist.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a nudist. He's just. I know he isn't. He likes hanging it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he taking a warm bath later?

[Dave Anthony]

Of area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's only doing so he's just. Is he getting in a bathtub? No, he likes to just be naked.

[Dave Anthony]

Lounging about in the nude. Yeah, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From what I've seen of him, probably not. You know, give me Washington.

[Dave Anthony]

He's also a big fan of corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you don't want a gout guy to be naked.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at that.

[Dave Anthony]

He's also a big fan of corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He likes corn.

[Dave Anthony]

A lot of naked. A lot of people think corn is shit at this time. A lot of that is because of racism, because South Americans and Native Americans liked it. So how good could it be? Sure those, those people are eating it. So Ben loves it. He loved making succotash.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is succotash?

[Dave Anthony]

It's like, it's like not lima beans and corn and something else. There's like three things. But yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Picturing this naked weirdo just eating succotash.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. Can you believe my wife? Can you believe other women are fucking me?

[Dave Anthony]

So as a writer, Ben pushed popcorn, grits, Johnny cakes and other corn based ditches to the public.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you have to have Johnny Cakes.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1766, the British newspaper Gazetteer and the New Daily Advertiser wrote an article called that called corn tasteless food. And Ben wrote a rebuttal stating that quote, a johnny or hoecake hot from the fire is better than a Yorkshire muffin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't come after our muffins, Franklin. You've done it now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're at war again. As he's just naked.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben Franklin came after the muffin today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We will have him killed.

[Dave Anthony]

Which muffin?

[Gareth Reynolds]

New York. No, don't. The Yorkshire say muffin. I know.

[Dave Anthony]

God damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. First is a sledge down stage. I know. Breathe.

[Dave Anthony]

Staying calm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Breathe.

[Dave Anthony]

Stay. So another thing. Another thing Ben didn't like was the Alphabet. And in 1768, he decided to fix it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the fuck?

[Dave Anthony]

He came up with a new one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A little.

[Dave Anthony]

Elani got rid of six letters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

C, J, W, Q, X and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't think you're. No, we've agreed on language.

[Dave Anthony]

Too confusing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we've agreed on it.

[Dave Anthony]

They're out. He added double vowels. Ee, A, A, pronounced as long sounds, ah, E, and added six new letters like N, G, S, H and th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was the guy who came up with shit. We have him to thanks for shit.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. He hoped it would improve spelling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, wait, how many?

[Dave Anthony]

26 letters now he got rid of six and then there's 20 letters and then he added six new ones. So 26 again, but better letters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What were the letters you got rid of?

[Dave Anthony]

Cj, W, QX and Y.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which we have still.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what were the new letters?

[Dave Anthony]

Ng, S, H, T, H. And ones like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We. We have those now.

[Dave Anthony]

No, we don't have those.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ng.

[Dave Anthony]

NG is not a letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. NG is its own.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He wanted NG to be a letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he was combining N and G.

[Dave Anthony]

S, H and T. Yeah. So he's combining two letters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was its own letter.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was the point of this?

[Dave Anthony]

Some.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got too much time on his hands.

[Dave Anthony]

Some. Some languages have things like that. That's pretty common.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not us.

[Dave Anthony]

Not us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because we don't need our letters.

[Dave Anthony]

Fucking our language sucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you talking about, Dave?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a new Alphabet for a new nation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's for the coming nation of America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He had special printing blocks made for it for the typewriter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was a shame. That was a waste.

[Dave Anthony]

Noah Webster wrote about it from Webster's Dictionary. Never caught on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a big deal back then. Webster?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Never caught on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God, it must have been so. Webster must have been the fucking man back then. Can you fucking imagine? The fucking Webster did. I mean, is it possible to get a new word in there? Look, I'll be honest. We're only adding about three or four this year, so it's pretty tight.

[Dave Anthony]

But just listen, Flor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What does flamorph mean exactly?

[Dave Anthony]

It's when a. You know. Pop. Pop. Ups that you cook in the oven, they pop up the. It's a doughy little thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure, yeah. Something that.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's the. It's when they pop up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's a pop up.

[Dave Anthony]

But it's how they do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's when they pop up. I don't think we need it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, No, I don't think people understand, because pop ups can also be like, hey, I'm popping up this tent. Or whatever. Hey, my dick. But this is, like, different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we're gonna pass. Sorry. No.

[Dave Anthony]

And then it's up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a pass. Webster, I have a pitch for a word.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, you little minx. What? What is she, plink?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'd like to show you rather than pitch it to you. Oh. Follow me to the bathroom.

[Dave Anthony]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have an upset stomach.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gonna be horrible.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My lady, don't add.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I'm sickened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a racket. Poop.

[Dave Anthony]

Not having something like this. It's called sicken.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's chaplook.

[Dave Anthony]

I did not expect that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My word is pure fap.

[Dave Anthony]

What is that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's when I push on one of my nostrils and shoot the snot out of the other one.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Thank you. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would like to honor you with having this word included, please. How was work, honey?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a rough day, man. Uh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm starting to rethink. Maybe I shouldn't have made a dictionary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, well, life working for the dictionary has gotta be barf.

[Dave Anthony]

Harf.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Raf. Barf. Barf.

[Dave Anthony]

God damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why?

[Dave Anthony]

I've had enough at work today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's my way of saying exhausting.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop it. Huh? I just want to come home and eat and spend time with my woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. You deserve to have a warm, hot poop.

[Dave Anthony]

God damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Think about it. It's just a P and an O and a bunch of other P's.

[Dave Anthony]

The curse of my life is that damn dictionary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, what's been going on with your wife? Lay down on the couch and why don't you start to tell me?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, she's coming up with all kinds of new words. Of course. You don't have to do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's what makes the relationship between you and I so vulgabamba. You get to come here and just communicate to me in an environment where everything's private and it's a vulgamba. Gamba. Between us, that would be V, U, L, G, U, M, B, A, B, A B. Maybe I spelled it a little different.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm looking up this new word suicide.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're not going to be able to say that online.

[Dave Anthony]

An unalived yes. So the British government is really just kind of stumbling along with their American policy. Like, it's just not going well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

So during a speech, it's like, when.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They'Re actually trying to build a nation, they're like, this is a lot harder than just taking them.

[Dave Anthony]

So there's a new chancellor, and he's giving a speech, and he's heckled by his opponent, who yells, quote, dare not tax the Americans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa. Everyone was like, grumble, grumble.

[Dave Anthony]

So as a you. Right after that, the chancellor introduced levees on glass, lead paint, paper, and tea. So taxing. Yeah. Tariffs. Historian A.F. pollard, quote, to obtain a paltry revenue of 40,000 pounds, he entered a path which led to the dismemberment of the empire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoopsie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, imagine.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Imagine a guy doing tariffs and not realizing how fucking bad it'll be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He can't. We were saying he can't happen. Right? He can't.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he could.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just.

[Dave Anthony]

He's definitely going to do it on cars. So Elon can be the. You know, because Elon's already used up all of his tax credits, so it doesn't matter if Tesla has them anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So other. It'll just hurt other companies. It's great. In Boston, Samuel Adams and James Otis called for all the colonies to unite, which was considered sedition.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So the assembly was dissolved and British troops were sent in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop talking with it. Stop talking. Stop trying to be buddies.

[Dave Anthony]

No more friendships.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You will no longer decide to work together, please.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Within a year, the Boston Massacre happened. So there was a snowball attack on a British soldier that led to rioting and five deaths.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So funny. The snowball. I'm quite cold.

[Dave Anthony]

Imagine if. But imagine in, like, the modern world, if someone threw something at them and then they killed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Overreaction.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben was optimistic an agreement could be made giving the colonies more independence, but without actually becoming independent. So he wants. He wants America to have more dependence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But not be united.

[Dave Anthony]

Not be. Yeah. Free. Right. Not still under the crown. So some independence, like Canada is today. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, it's like, in an open relationship.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. And the ability to make their own income, but it just doesn't look like it's gonna happen. And he keeps telling Deborah he planned to return, but it's starting to sound like B.S. at this point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. She's like, I'm 90.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1771, he starts writing his autobiography.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm not Gonna finish that until 1789, but he starts now. Ben is also a big land speculator.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1764, he bought 20,000 acres in Nova Scotia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy shit.

[Dave Anthony]

He was an investor in the Grand O scheme, which was develop more colonies to the west.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

If the colonies were created, he would make bank the fact that many of his investors were ministers and Ben had influential government positions. Yeah, it's just corrupt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Helpful.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just all corrupt. In 1772, Ben said he was talking to an important Brit about how awful it was that England sent troops to Boston. And the guy assured Ben that Massachusetts had actually requested the troops. So Ben asked for evidence, and he was given six letters between a British mp, Thomas Whatley, and Thomas Hutchinson, the governor of Massachusetts. And Ben sends them to a friend in Boston, and he's like, don't copy these. Don't publish these. But he knew they were going to be shared. Like, you don't send something like that unless you know. So they were. And a few months later, the letters were debated in the Massachusetts assembly, which then voted that the letters were intended to, quote, overthrow the constitution of this government and introduce arbitrary power to the province. And the letters were then in the public record.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And printed in a bunch of newspapers. But the letters were not as sensational as they appeared. They were written before Hutchinson was governor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And before Watley was an mp. So they're just business guys at that point, writing letters back and forth. So neither they didn't have actual power. But the most damning letter was written four months after Britain sent troops. But it didn't matter. Hutchinson was fired and the MP was. He was already dead, so that really didn't matter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So no one knew how the letters got out to the public. And the dead MP's brother accuses this guy named John Temple, who denies it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

And people still believe that that's who did it. And he. So he challenges Watley's brother to a duel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is how you'll find the truth. It's a very interesting way to. Like when they're doing that, are they going like. Like, God will decide. They're just like, I'm so sick. You're.

[Dave Anthony]

I think it's a way of saying he's. It's the strongest way to say he's lying about me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But then you kill a guy and you're like, see?

[Dave Anthony]

See?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you're like, told you. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So he comes without a pistol, Watley the brother. So Temple lends him one, and then they both shoot wide and then they go to swords.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So weird.

[Dave Anthony]

And neither knew what to do with a sword.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But this is crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Watley was injured a couple times. And then they're like, okay, that's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The weirdest thing to watch. All right, and welcome to the duel. They both have gone wide left. Now they're taking out the swords. Neither one seems comfortable with a blade in their hand. Right now you can see they're kind of slinging them back and forth, and they're not sure what to do. Oh, God. Watley has stabbed his own leg. All right. Feels like they're kind of wrapping this up. Not sure what direction this goes in, but pillows. Okay, now they're bringing out the pillows. They are fighting with pillows. Watley's leg bleeding pretty badly. But now they're punching each other with some pillows. Now they're hugging each other. I think it's over. This is a really weird way to do it.

[Dave Anthony]

So now, seeing this, Ben writes in these letters, quote, I alone am the person who obtained and transmitted to Boston the letters in question. They are not of the nature of private letters between friends. They were written by public officers to person in public stations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not true.

[Dave Anthony]

Lie. Total lie on public affairs and intended to procure public measures. Their tendency was to incense the mother country against her colonies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So total lie. How many? How many? Like, when he writes these letters or when he's writing his paper, is he using his own little letters? Is he like, see how good the S and the H is? People like, ben, let it fucking go, dude.

[Dave Anthony]

I think he gave up on that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean? It just kind of works together like a marriage.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know how. I don't know how long he tried. He must have tried for ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I think you're just using my letter. What? I'm just having a conversation. I know, but I think you heard. You guys use my letter.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you say sh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sh.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's my letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's two letters.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's my letter. I made it one letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just two letters. It's the sound sh.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's. It's. Which is a letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, is it S and an H?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If. Can you say soup?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. What about S is also a separate letter? Yes, but then there's also sh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not a let. That's just using two letters. What is the point?

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean, what?

[Dave Anthony]

Also N. That's a letter, too. So the point is that. That's also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's N and T. This is Own letter.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's different. It's NG is its own letter. Right, yeah. No, so N and G are separately their own letter. Also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. No. Yeah, sh was the one. I was.

[Dave Anthony]

No, also Sh. Dude, also no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No is a word.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's. Now it's a letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it isn't. It's a word. It means no, as in no, this is stupid.

[Dave Anthony]

Also is no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop fucking. Dude, I swear to fucking God, if you don't stop this bullshit.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what else is a letter?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Fucking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is not a. Yeah, Ben's drunk.

[Dave Anthony]

An East India ship, East India Company ship arrives in Boston Harbor. It's got a bunch of tea on it, but locals stopped it and unloaded the cargo. And then the Sons of Liberty dumped 342 chests of tea into the harbor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The British are like, not the tea. Quickly, drink the harbor.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm weakening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Drink the harbor.

[Dave Anthony]

The Privy Council over Hutchinson's firing takes place. Okay, it's packed. The Solicitor General, Alexander Wedderburn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

Where do you people come from? I mean, honestly, your names are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you put out a fire?

[Dave Anthony]

Like the fire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you put out a fire?

[Dave Anthony]

A wetter burn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you put it out? What do you do? Walk me through a process? You put water on a flame and if it's not out, it'll be a wetter burn, man. Not so shrewd now, are you, dumb boy?

[Dave Anthony]

So Wedderbird laid into bed for an hour. The private letters. Ben got them by fraudulent means or he stole them from a person who stole them. Quote, I asked, my lords, whether the revengeful temper attributed to the bloody African is not surpassed by the coolness and apathy of the wily American.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Well. So this is how upset they were with Americans. They're like, worse than black people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. And they're like. Now hold on a minute.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, wait, you have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How dare you?

[Dave Anthony]

So, some great stuff there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. As usual.

[Dave Anthony]

The petition to fire Hutchinson was then rejected.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And then Ben was fired as the Postmaster of North America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

People now go out and burn effigies of Hutchinson and Wedderburn in Pennsylvania. Wedderburn. Because he insulted Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Americans, they love Ben.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, they. Yeah, yeah, they love Ben. And also he was like, if he says, you're less than people in Africa, then obviously Americans can't handle that. By the spring of 1774, Ben was ostracized by the British establishment. Oh, might be the time to go home to his family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They need him. Yeah, of course it would be.

[Dave Anthony]

He Kept saying he'd go back in a few weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Next month, once my wife dies, I'll head back.

[Dave Anthony]

But in autumn 1774, he's still in London and the vibe between Britain and America is getting worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dr. Johnson, he's just partying and fornicating.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know why he stays. He must be enjoying the last of it. Yeah. Dr. Johnson, an academic and writer of the first dictionary called Americans, quote, a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them. Short of hanging. I can't really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben's dream of the colonies with some independence and a royal blessing is fading fast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So weird.

[Dave Anthony]

So he assures his few British friends left that he had never met an American who wanted a fully independent nation. He's been in Britain now for 18 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, he's not even married. I mean, come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he's not.

[Dave Anthony]

She never came over. She never, like, sit up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the girlfriend who lives in Canada.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And people say that, like, people say he fucked around at this time. And other people like, no, he didn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He did.

[Dave Anthony]

Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He did.

[Dave Anthony]

Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

100%.

[Dave Anthony]

Just before coming home, his wife died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I knew it.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll come back now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, honey. Oh, no.

[Dave Anthony]

God, I miss you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now I'm single.

[Dave Anthony]

He hadn't seen her for 11 years, so maybe he must have traveled a couple times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

But he hadn't seen her in 11 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not great.

[Dave Anthony]

Or she came to him, but either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way, she showed up. He was like, oh, let me take.

[Dave Anthony]

My dick out of this mouth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me just get the lipstick off my schlong.

[Dave Anthony]

She did a bet on, well, for a while with something that sounds like dementia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Dave Anthony]

He sent her $30 a month, but when she didn't give detailed reports of her spending, he refused to send more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now you don't exist.

[Dave Anthony]

So she had to borrow from friends because with dementia she would have been able to write a porn accounts of fucking what you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't know she had dementia. How am I supposed to know she had dementia? I didn't see her in 11 years.

[Dave Anthony]

His son William now urges him to return. Besides, everyone in England hates him at this point. Quote, you are looked upon with an evil eye in that country and are in no small danger of being brought into trouble for your political conduct. You would certainly better return while you are able to bear the fatigues of the voyage to a country where the people revere you and you're inclined to pay a deference of your opinions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm getting divorced.

[Dave Anthony]

In March 1775, at 70 years old, Ben Franklin left England with his grandson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a double bastard.

[Dave Anthony]

Days later, an arrest warrant was issued for him in London.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, shit.

[Dave Anthony]

The dead MP's brother Watley accused him of persecution.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

And soon he was to become President of the United States of America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dave, Dave. Don't tease me.

[Dave Anthony]

That'll be in part three.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't tease me.

[Dave Anthony]

Research done by the fantastic Charlotte George.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, this is quite a epic run.

[Dave Anthony]

Main source the Autobiography of Ben Franklin Ben Franklin, a Biography by Ronald Clark. Also the Ben Franklin house Museum. Reuters archives.com the Wagon Affair by Wagon Affair. J. Bell Whitfield and Leonard W. Labery in the Proceedings of American Philosophical Society. Ben Franklin to Jacques Baba de Bong. It's a letter. Spoon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just found an old voicemail from you.

[Dave Anthony]

Let's listen to Washington Post, LA Times, history.net all things liberty and Philly Magazine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here you go. Hold on.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a recording. Do you know how to do the speaker?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Fuck. It sounds like your phone is bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it does. Hey, Dirt Pig, Give me a call. Dirt Pig is what you said.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, let's end this having listened.

[Dave Anthony]

To the podcast and the previous one. Am I incorrect, Dirt Pig?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There was a character.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it's weird how I foresaw.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you asking for more of me?

[Dave Anthony]

Goodbye.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.