662 - President Benjamin Franklin - Part 3

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds Episode 662 - President Benjamin Franklin - Part 3 Release Date: December 10, 2024

In the third installment of their deep dive into the life of Benjamin Franklin, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds continue their humorous exploration of one of America's most beloved founding fathers. This episode blends historical facts with the duo's signature comedic banter, providing both education and entertainment for listeners.

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1. Ben Franklin’s Return to America and the Colonial Milieu [05:05 - 07:34]

The episode opens with Ben Franklin returning to Philadelphia in 1775 after the tragic death of his wife, Deborah. Dave Anthony sets the stage, highlighting the significant changes in America since Franklin's departure to England.

Notable Quote:

• Dave Anthony [07:02]: “Second one is tight.”

Gareth humorously critiques the Continental Congress, poking fun at the political dynamics of the time.

2. Early Diplomatic Efforts and Challenges [07:00 - 17:10]

Franklin's immediate involvement in the Continental Congress is discussed, emphasizing his role in shaping communication strategies during the war. His appointment as Postmaster General underscores his importance in maintaining colonial cohesion.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds [09:14]: “Yeah. So he goes to Cambridge to hear General Washington's strategy. This is part of the… Sorry, I should go back.”

The hosts delve into Franklin’s familial struggles, particularly his strained relationship with his son William, a loyalist, illustrating the personal costs of the revolution.

3. Increasing French Alliance and Black Propaganda [17:10 - 32:38]

As the war intensifies, Franklin recognizes the necessity of French support. The comedians explore Franklin's diplomatic maneuvers, including his creation of "black propaganda" to deceive the British and bolster American morale.

Notable Quote:

• Dave Anthony [19:53]: “Farts are forever.”

Franklin's charm and wit are highlighted as he navigates the complexities of international alliances, particularly his interactions with King Louis XVI and his influence in France.

4. Personal Life and Relations [32:38 - 43:50]

Franklin's life in France is portrayed with comedic flair, showcasing his celebrity status and personal exploits. The conversation touches on his flirtatious nature and the cultural differences he navigates as an American in French society.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds [33:03]: “Look at your beautiful thin hair from your sides and your back, huh?”

The hosts humorously discuss Franklin's inventions, such as bifocals and his attempts to solve everyday problems, blending historical achievements with modern comedic interpretations.

5. George Mason and Political Maneuvering [44:16 - 52:58]

Back in America, Franklin's political endeavors continue despite his advancing age. The episode covers his involvement in key battles, such as the Siege of Yorktown, and his strategic communications to maintain French support.

Notable Quote:

• Dave Anthony [45:27]: “They can't kid along.”

Franklin's dedication to American independence is juxtaposed with his personal frustrations, illustrating the multifaceted nature of his leadership.

6. Final Years and Inventive Legacy [52:58 - 81:23]

As Franklin's health declines, his contributions remain pivotal. The hosts discuss his final inventions and his participation in foundational events like the drafting of the U.S. Constitution. Franklin's legacy as an inventor and statesman is examined with both reverence and humor.

Notable Quote:

• Gareth Reynolds [74:16]: “He invented a way to lock his door from bed so he didn't need to get up.”

Franklin's advocacy for abolition and his forward-thinking ideas are presented, emphasizing his role in shaping a morally conscious nation.

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Concluding Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds seamlessly blend historical narrative with comedic interludes, making Benjamin Franklin's life accessible and entertaining. Their dynamic interaction not only highlights Franklin's significant contributions to American independence but also humanizes him through humorous anecdotes and playful banter.

Final Quote:

• Dave Anthony [85:01]: “Cheerio, pip, pip, pip, pip, cheerio.”

Listeners are left with a nuanced appreciation of Franklin's legacy, enriched by the hosts' unique comedic perspective.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

Is for the second time. You're listening to the Dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast. Each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my friend. Ch Where'd you go?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It just stopped again. Okay. I mean, you can hear me.

[Dave Anthony]

I need you to get your head in the game. We're doing. Can you hear me? Yes. It's starting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who has no idea what the topic is going to be about? Oh, okay. My backup just started. 3, 2, 1. Gareth Reynolds. Who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Action. What is brought to you by Hall's cough drops. Hall's cough drops. Sometimes they got some goo inside when. Don't do this. Don't do this.

[Dave Anthony]

We had a lot of, we had a lot of lead time today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We did. We did.

[Dave Anthony]

And you, you've been a problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I will not push back that Today I've been, I've been a major issue today I've been an issue. I've been, I've had a bit of a cold and, and it's, it's not good. I, I, I, I don't apologize. Let me be very clear. I do not apologize to you at all. I apologize to the audience. I, I shouldn't have done that to them.

[Dave Anthony]

And I, the audience hasn't been affected at all. Oh my God, man. What is going on over there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh no, I got a baked potato in the. But I gotta go. I'm sorry. What is going on?

[Dave Anthony]

Did you see and called it quote his jam pad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jam pad.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm the hippo guy, Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay?

[Dave Anthony]

My name's Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My name's G. Is it for fun?

[Dave Anthony]

And this is not gonna become the tickly podcast, okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is like animal on a 5 part cofficion. Now hit him with the puppy. You both present sick arguments.

[Dave Anthony]

No sleep tail. Hippo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not sleep. T. Hippo.

[Dave Anthony]

Action court.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Gabby.

[Dave Anthony]

No. Nicely done, my friend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[Dave Anthony]

R and the court. So let's, let's break down. What happened? Gareth text me earlier today and he's, let's do 5pm and I go, okay. And then he says I can't meet in person because I'm, I'm sick. And I'm like, all right, that's fine. And then, and then I get on here at 5 and I'm just sitting around for like 10 minutes. And then I text him, apologize to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I now I apologize. I do apologize to you.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's like, oh, I thought it was 5:30. I was like, you're the One who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Said, fine, nobody likes this stuff. This isn't what podcasting is.

[Dave Anthony]

And then his headphones were all messed up. We had a restart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm bottomless. Come on.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you doing? What's going on with that potato?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this.

[Dave Anthony]

What's going on with the potato?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so you took it out, obviously, and it's on the counter. So you probably. Here's my. Here's my suggestion. Twice. Bake that bitch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a sweet potato.

[Dave Anthony]

You're gross.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're delicious.

[Dave Anthony]

Just have a potato. You don't need to put candy in it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a superfood.

[Dave Anthony]

Whatever you guys do, just don't be. Don't be such an American. Just have a potato. It doesn't have to be cleaned up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I'm English, I'm a problem. When I'm American, I'm a problem. Do you ever think that maybe I'm just. That's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

It doesn't matter which side of the Atlantic you're on. Your goddamn problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Buddy. March.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no, wait. We got to do some stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

We have a tour coming. What? So we have a tour coming up. We've already announced it. It is. Starts on March when I say 22nd. March 20th. March 16th in Tempe, and then March 17th in Albuquerque. And then March 18th in Oklahoma City. March 19th in Tulsa. March 20th, Dallas. March 21st, Houston. March 22nd, Austin. You can go to the$podcast.com for your actually dollop podcast.com. that's what I said. Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I said, oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just dollar podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. And you know what? Mistakes happen between us.

[Dave Anthony]

That's okay with me that you make potato. Well, we can eat potato, like, five minutes before we started.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I was going to have it ready for after we were done. And really carbo load before bed. I'm trying to put on 35 pounds.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm just. I need to get you to a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I like about this show? This is what I always like about this show, is that we're just. It's about something that's not us. I don't think we should be digging into our stuff here. I make potatoes. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. 1775, Benjamin Franklin leaves England, returns to America because his wife just died of hams.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Don't even invite him back in.

[Dave Anthony]

So he arrives in Philadelphia. He's been gone for a long time, so it's a totally different place that the country is now at war, which is a big difference. His wife's dead on march. You're really into that part. I mean, is it cause you remember it that you're so excited about it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just listened to the second one.

[Dave Anthony]

Because it's like you want credit. It's like you're a kid in school right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm proud of myself. I think the problem is you didn't listen to part two, so you don't remember how much comedy was coming at the end.

[Dave Anthony]

So while he's at sea Crossing on April 19, the British General had decided to take over some rebel military stores. However, radicals find out his plans. So by the time the British soldiers arrived, they're facing a few Minutemen. And shots are fired and eight Americans are killed and 10 are wounded.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Two months later, King George declares that the colonies are in a state of rebellion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

State. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So the day after he arrives, Ben is nominated for the Pennsylvania assembly to attend by the Pennsylvania assembly to attend the second Continental Congress.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Which is the best one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's that?

[Dave Anthony]

The first one? Go fuck itself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are they doing?

[Dave Anthony]

Second one is tight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's that all about? They're having. What is the. Is the Continental Congress where the. It's like. Is that because he's pro monarchy? Is that for the monarchy or is that people who like this monarchy problem is.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's. It's to. No, it's to create a. It's to create a. Yeah, like our own government.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Does the monarchy doesn't know about that? We're just kind of going, this is not.

[Dave Anthony]

They might. They might because they're, you know, they're already. They say we're in a state of rebellion. So they might.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. But they're. They're opposed. Okay, gotcha. Okay, gotcha.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they don't want it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Did you know that his wife had died? Fun fact. Can I eat the potato? Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, you can eat the potato. No one's going to stop me in the potato. Eat the fucking potato. Great. So he goes to Cambridge to hear General Washington's strategy. This is part of the. Sorry, I should go back. So he is serving on a bunch of committees at the Continental Congress and he is also reappointed as Postmaster General. And he's supposed to decide the best way to have communication across North North America during the war.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I. So it's so funny to think that that wasn't like. Yeah, we'll just have guys on horses do it. Oh, you got a vacuum going. Busted. See, we're Both shit shows.

[Dave Anthony]

I'd go out there, but my wife is on a tear today and I kind of. I'm scared of her a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So cute that you're. Of you listen to her. She really.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, there's a Christmas tree that was brought in, so there's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you want me to call her? Should I call her right now?

[Dave Anthony]

Because in this house, we celebrate J Town.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. This took a turn.

[Dave Anthony]

Who's. You know, the kids love a Christmas tree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thought we got away from it. Okay. So he's. He's there to figure out how to get mail across the country during this tenuous time.

[Dave Anthony]

So he visited his son William, who is now the governor of New Jersey. You know, come on on name. Like, how else would that guy get? So he had. Now his son William has declared himself a loyalist to Britain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And Ben tried to. Better tried to talk him, you know, out of doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

But he couldn't. Like, William's locked in. He loves the Brits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So a year later, William would be declared a traitor and he'd be put under house arrest. So it didn't work out for him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So on October 6, monitor house arrest back then.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a good question. I bet they had a guard with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a TV show. 1775, house arrest.

[Dave Anthony]

And he probably also had to wash you. And like, I bet it was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or just be with you. I've got to take her crap, so. All right.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll be right here in the bathtub staring.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now I've got to take a bath.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll be in the toilet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I'm going to make love to my wife and I can't wait.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll be in the toilet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think this guy's just likes to be in the toilet. Gonna go read on the porch for a little while.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna get in the toilet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna go for a long walk, which I don't think I should be allowed. I mean, I'm gonna go for a long walk.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Are you gonna be at.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll be in the toilet. I've just got your house under arrest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I got a good one.

[Dave Anthony]

I figure as long as I'm in the toilet, the house can't be. Can't get away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, now that you read the book. Been monitoring Ben Franklin. He hasn't left the house, has he?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I don't know. I've been. I've been watching. I've been. I got the toilet locked down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm. I'm in or around the toilet a lot to make sure that. I mean, if the. If the House can't go anywhere if the toilet is, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You realize what you're saying is dumb. Halfway through, right?

[Dave Anthony]

House arrest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, did you guys hear? Ben Franklin left the country.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, hope he didn't take my toilet. No. So on October 16, as part of the special committee to Congress, he goes to Cambridge to hear General Washington. His strategies, plans for what they're going to do, and he is also appointed to the Committee of Secret Correspondence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Which is going to gather support for allies and their military aims. The colony doesn't really have much of a navy or, like an industry. It's. There's not a lot going on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's obviously big on committees.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's then assigned to the committee to write the Declaration of Independence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a biggie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huge.

[Dave Anthony]

That one came out. Yep. That was a big one. Jefferson comes up with the first draft, and then everyone gives suggestions and changes. Ben, it sounds like he changed. We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable to self evident.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he was the one who was like, give it the duh.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really fucking crazy to imagine these guys sitting around noting a document that's like, go fuck yourself. Leave us alone. Yeah, just like. I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's not right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get to The Punch.

[Dave Anthony]

On July 1, it was debated by Congress for nine hours, and Pennsylvania and South Carolina opposed it. Delaware. Delaware is divided. New York isn't sure. And then on July 6, the phrase the United States of America was used for the first time. You're in the world after that was. So on July 8, the royal coat of Arms was torn down and the Liberty Bell was ridiculous rung.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Just a bell. Right?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a sound effect from the. Yeah, that's the actual sound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. But it's just a bell. We called the Liberty Bell. And there we go. And we're off.

[Dave Anthony]

Y. It's a bell. Y. Yeah. Yeah. On August. By August, Britain has sent more troops in. Washington's army of 18,000 are looking at a British army of 32,000. So almost double. No, I'm proud of you. Admiral Howe is engaged in peace talks with Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And the King offers pardons to some rebels in exchange for the surrender of American troops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Hal thought the talks would be done in about 10 days. So England's like, we'll just. We'll just offer some stuff and then. Yeah, we'll be done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're just crying it out. They're mad.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, exactly. They're trying to fit. They want some special stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're pissy. Look, I don't know if you heard. Ben's wife just passed away.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody told me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, it was in the second part. This is what it was in the second part.

[Dave Anthony]

What did she die of? What was her name?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the question? What do you mean? I don't think we need to know that she's. She's gone. And so once she's gone, we don't need to talk about how she died or her name. I. I could take a guess at her name if you really wanted me to. Well, I'd rather not, but.

[Dave Anthony]

What letter does it start with?

[Gareth Reynolds]

E.

[Dave Anthony]

Debbie's close.

[Gareth Reynolds]

D. D. Did Deb. Debbie. Doubt.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, Debbie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Deborah. And what did she die of? You want me to take a stab at that?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not getting by her husband for almost two decades.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right. How'd you know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I listened to part two.

[Dave Anthony]

She had dementia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I feel like we shouldn't quiz you on any more past Benjamin Franklin stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's the. That's. That's the third episode.

[Dave Anthony]

And you listened to part two?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I did what I hate listeners to do. I did time and a half.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So, I mean, it has been a. A little bit. Two or three weeks. Three weeks, maybe. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's pretty recent, for sure.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a really long time for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it has been this. Is this. When I was listening to the second episode, this would have been my nightmare.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was making a big potato, being like, man, I should probably paid a little more attention.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, so Ben is in negotiations, and they think it's gonna be over quick. But Ben is very blunt and he says, quote, forces have been sent out and towns have been burnt. We cannot now expect happiness. Under the domination of Great Britain, all former attachments are obliterated. So they're having negotiations, but the British send out troops to fight. And because they did that, they're like, it's over you. Or not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So the British still expected to win. Obviously, they have a lot more men. And by the summer of 1776, Congress knew they have to ask France for help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, awkward.

[Dave Anthony]

A private company was set up to provide arms and other aid to America. And this is secretly funded by the French and Spanish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so they're in.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's a. It's a secret fund.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. They're the French and The Spanish are fighting a proxy war which America would take note of.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, boy. What? Oh, boy? So they couldn't deny. So I'm sorry. They could deny if France threatened. Like, if France is like, what are you guys doing? Spain. And nothing, man. It's. It's nothing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no shit. Lie for sure. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, again, America, it's. America was like, that's really cool. That's really cool. That's a really good idea.

[Dave Anthony]

Really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is really. Here, ask us.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you do it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. You know, nothing. That's just.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, man. They got. Fucking go to democracy. Sometimes there's a bunch of fire. What do you mean? Chemicals. Kids. Yeah, that's okay. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

That was a weird answer, but okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got him.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think you did. Yeah. So the first American diplomat is sent to France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just. So you go in, you go into the recording room. What do you say?

[Dave Anthony]

I say, I'm going to record.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And she says, that's vacuum time.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. There's. Yeah. You know, sometimes people. Yeah. Don't respect you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I know. It's. Believe me, I've. I've had to say to people before, like, it is. This is crazy. This is our worst episode. I've had to say to people before, like, this is a job. Like, I'm gonna play with hula hoops while I'm in your field of vision. I'm like, it's not helpful. This is a shit show.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, so. Okay. So where were we? What? You asked me a question. Did you or did I just. Maybe he didn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, proxy, Proxy, proxy. Where they can deny, basically, Gareth, the.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's get inside those caves with some ropes.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Very hard. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Give them one to my mother.

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I gave one to my mother.

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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Yeah.

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[Gareth Reynolds]

If I may have Santa give it to someone and he can say Ro Mary. You know, why does I feel like you're a teenager and your mom doesn't want you recording in the attic?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that might be part of it. So, okay. She had her headphones on, so that's why it was so loud. She was talking to the dogs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Because they were in the way while she was trying to clean the thing, make more noise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So. So they need a diplomat said to France the first guy they send doesn't speak French.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that smart?

[Dave Anthony]

It's not helpful when. Yeah, okay. So that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very American to be like they'll provide a translator or they'll speak English.

[Dave Anthony]

They'll speak English. Right. Right off the bat, we're like, everybody speaks and we speak right Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Usa, you're not even formed yet.

[Dave Anthony]

So. So they send Ben speaks French.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He's 70 now. He has regular gout attacks. It's part of his jam. But he's famous, and the French really dig him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Also, the speaking French thing helps. John Adams.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They like that too, probably.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It likes dick out John Adams. Quote, there was scarcely a peasant or a citizen, a valet, coachman, or footman, a lady's chambermaid or a scullion in a kitchen, who was not familiar with Ben's name and who did not consider him a friend to humankind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So there you go. He's famous, by the way. He really could use a footman with all that gout.

[Dave Anthony]

I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Helpful.

[Dave Anthony]

Or leg man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Or stop.

[Dave Anthony]

Between 1777 and 1782, Ben convinced the French government to give America 26 million francs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice. Which is $8.

[Dave Anthony]

$8. The English ambassador to France said, told the. Told them Ben's a liar and he would deceive them. But the French are still like, nah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We like him, but you're the bigger liars. Huh. So what way? Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben moved to Passy, which was Passe, which is a small village outside of France, outside of Paris, and his grandsons were his secretaries. And he dined several nights per week with local women with whom he formed close, quote, friendships.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah. The idea that he's getting laid at 70 with gout and that look is shocking.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll tell you. Fame man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No, that's. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

He suggested to Madame Brian, who was married but whose husband was having an affair, that she might like to do the same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're right. I should find someone who I find sexually appealing to do that with. You're right. He's always cheating on me, so I should probably find a boy who I can. Oh, boy. Do you hear that noise? That's crazy, because I sort of talked to my husband about not doing that while you and I have conversation. And yet he continues to do this.

[Dave Anthony]

So she wasn't into it. Another woman turns down a marriage proposal he makes. He's in his 70s, which is like being in your. It's like being in your 90s today. Honestly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's moving quick.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So flirting with women. Very cool. In France, it's. It's what you do. So his. This reputation of being a ladies dude only makes him more popular in France.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

That he's. They hear that he's hitting on women.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ladies man. He's like a weird. Like, you know, he's like a Joe Biden hater Air sniffer.

[Dave Anthony]

He's not, but he is. Well, I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he getting laid? Do we know?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he's getting some action. He's getting some action. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So Ben has to get used to French culture and fashion, which includes hairstyles that are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We say grow without Ben. Look, just. We know you got nothing on top, but just grow those sides and back real long, huh? Make you look like you've got a skin bandana.

[Dave Anthony]

Some of them had hair. It's so complicated that they can't wear a hat, and so they'd carry the hat under the arm instead of putting it on their head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Element.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you hair so complicated? Like, you're. It's kind of waved up.

[Dave Anthony]

And think of everything we've seen of, like, Marie Antoinette with her, you know, Big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I mean, the hair is like a thing. Like, it's like. I don't know how long it took him to do it, but probably a long fucking time. Yeah. So when he tries to discuss commerce, including that it would be in France's interest to support America, that is frowned upon. That's where they're like, come on, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Dave Anthony]

Any discussion of money is considered uncouth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eat your oysters.

[Dave Anthony]

It's great that you're hitting on married women. It's just uncouth to talk about money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But the whole reason he's there is to do that. So they're like, ben, come on. You can't come all the way over here and ask us to help you fight a secret war of independence against a British and bring it up to us. Stop it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Is that your wife?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just be like the rest of us. Yes, it is.

[Dave Anthony]

She's pretty hot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's hot. All right. There we go. See, you're getting it. Look at your beautiful thin hair from your sides and your back, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. That's why I'm carrying my hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's cool. Look at you, Nikki.

[Dave Anthony]

Look at your wife's tits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes. See your fight. That's right. Now you're doing it French style.

[Dave Anthony]

So can we talk about the money for the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That I need that song. Let's just talk about orgies, popcorn, oysters and wine. Come here. Yo.

[Dave Anthony]

So like I said, he's big, big, big celebrity in France. The longer he's there, the more of a celebrity is. Pictures of his face are on mantelpieces, rings, bracelets, snuff boxes, hats and coats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, he's like a Ben Franklin ring.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, he's like a fucking Kardashian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, he's like the Green Lantern. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

People started making copies of his cane, and that became a fashion thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. The hair, though. Why is the hair not catching on?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he will get to that. He always wore a fur hat outside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And so women start wearing wigs that look like his fur hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

And it was called the Coiffure a la Franklin. Franklin's wig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Franklin Coiffure. Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

The hat is called Franklin's wig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. God damn.

[Dave Anthony]

The hair is called. Yeah. So the craze. That. That wig craze.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beatles.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He.

[Dave Anthony]

Is it. That wig. It goes to England, where the famous Wedgwood Potty Works made busts of Ben.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even though they're at war with Resist. This perfect sp. I mean, Ben, he's been. Look, I understand that John Lennon's Fight a war on peace and love, but he's still one of us. We love him.

[Dave Anthony]

He has this American friend would stay with him for a couple years. Dr. Bancroft and Bancroft is. Is friendly with all the Americans negotiating deals with France, and it was later discovered that he was actually a spy for Britain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a lot of spies. People warn Ben he was. He was probably having. They're probably in his house. But he just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I found a guy in the toilet the other day.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you didn't. Huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Squirrel debase. He's got a snorkel on.

[Dave Anthony]

He doesn't care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben just doesn't care that he said, quote, if I was sure that my valet de place. De place was a spy, as he probably is, I think I should not discharge him for that if in other respects I liked him. So he's like, if my valet is a spy, I don't care as long as he's doing the. He's doing James Bond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, what do you want? I mean, good Lord. He was.

[Dave Anthony]

He's just a guy putting my clothes on. Like, how.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think Ben Franklin's accent was like?

[Dave Anthony]

Because I have no idea. It's got to be crazy, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Has to be crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it has to be crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's got to be so much. I just like, we're. We imagine him being like. That's a very good point.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was probably like, it does a very good. Older. I've had a very good time in France, and it was very interesting to experience a lot of this stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

We'll never know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So. So, like, he doesn't care. They're spies. Ben complained about having to use a cipher to Decode letters. So it's kind of like an old guy. I can't work an iPhone like, it's like that. So the cipher quote, I cannot understand. Buy it. The little specimen you have wrote in it. It is too tedious for a whole letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's so funny to imagine him handing that to a spy being like, what is he trying to tell me? Spy's like, this is so easy.

[Dave Anthony]

Some hope that Ben would use his scientific genius to create new weapons. The New Jersey Gazette speculated that he might make, quote, an electric machine of such wonderful force that instead of giving a slight stroke to the elbows of 50 or 100,000 men who are joined hand in hand, it will give a violent shock even to nature itself so as to disunite kingdoms, join islands to continents and render men of the same nation strangers and enemies to each other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you talking.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, they just. They. They just came up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're trying to predict the future, but they're just like. We really are unable to see anything beyond what we have. But imagine a machine that could knock elbows away and give us back Pangea.

[Dave Anthony]

And make Hawaii part of China.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could merge the land together, and then nobody could hold hands because it's a punching machine and it punched it. It's punching its way. You know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's hard to explain.

[Dave Anthony]

I guess we just set it off to see sharks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm coming up with what's called a punching machine that'll attack elbows and form land masses back together.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay. I like that. What are you gonna call it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gonna be called the Punching Machine for. No, the Punching Machine for.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, is that it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The title?

[Dave Anthony]

That's the title.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. How are you thinking of licenses, licensing this or selling it yourself?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. I. My plan. Well, that's why I wanted to get some of you guys on board, because I think that that would be helpful for you to tell me what I'll. I have the technology for the idea of a machine that. It hits the. That'll knock people's elbows so they can't hold hands, and then potentially could bring lands.

[Dave Anthony]

So I think I'll give you. I'll give you $45 for 99%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, that's a good deal. Before I take that, because that's a great offer, Mark, I want to hear what some of the other sharks say, if that's okay with everyone.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm out. I'm out. I'm out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Did you understand that the Punching machine could be very big for you.

[Dave Anthony]

I just. I don't see how. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'll stop people from holding hands if you don't want them to.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not gonna need bridge. This. This machine that I. It'll eliminate the need for bridges.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, that I'm not hearing how.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because you're bringing all the lands together. So instead. Jesus Christ. This is a boat. This is a boat disruptor. This eliminates boats.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you see this in like Walmarts or is this an online. How are you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, this would be. This is gonna go everywhere. This could be everywhere. This is everywhere.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, that sounds great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Once you see it. How about I just show it to you? Look under this sheet.

[Dave Anthony]

Uh huh. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You see that?

[Dave Anthony]

Huh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there you go.

[Dave Anthony]

This looks like a bowl. Is that a bowl?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a bowl with. Yeah, it's a bowl with some noodles in it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. In. Yeah, yeah. All right. Oh my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth. We are also brought to you by Golden Nugget Online Casino. Turn the cold gold. You can take your winner moments into winning ones. Get all your casino favorites. You got slot, Icy wilds, blackjack, and exclusive games. You can't find anyone else. Also, you enjoy seasonal rewards all winter long. Whether you're spinning wheel reels or doubling down, it's a season to celebrate. Gareth. Sure, we're online.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

We're gold nuggeting. Yeah. So it's fun. I did it. You did it. We did it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we did it.

[Dave Anthony]

We got deep in there. We got deep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. There. I made $1 million.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a. It's a. It's a gambling bonanza.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a gaming bonanza. So. Excuse me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Better.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Welcome, welcome.

[Dave Anthony]

And Gareth, we are brought to you by blue nile.com all right, so you're looking back on all the memories of 2024, right? Especially if you're in love like Gareth you are with your cat. And maybe you're looking ahead to 20, 25. Your plans. Maybe you. You might be getting engaged, right? You and Jose might be doing the thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop it.

[Dave Anthony]

You're in love with each other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't read.

[Dave Anthony]

Either one of you can spring the question. That's just the kind of relationship you're in. So if anyone's going to take that huge step, I recommend you go for the engagement ring. You get it from blueandile.com it's the original online jeweler since 1999. You can create a bigger, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price you're not going to find anywhere else. Blue Nile offers the diamond price guarantee, which means that in most cases, they can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond. So they're committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards observed when sourcing their diamonds and jewelry. So you can feel good about that. And they offer 100% satisfaction guarantee. Well, I. Oh, it says to personalize.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will be popping the question to my cat. And I think if you go. When you go there, you are able to like anything else, really figure out exactly what you want, what's right. And I think for most guys like me, that's pretty difficult to know exactly what's right.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what. What type of ring are you thinking about getting? Like a ring with small diamonds all around it for Jose, or you think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Little diamonds around the band and then a bigger diamond. Yep. At the top. But again, how do they size a.

[Dave Anthony]

How do they size a cat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You go to. Well, you got to go to. There's a. I go to a cat jeweler. I go to a guy he's got, and he measures him, and then I, you know, and then I do it online. Blue Nile. I mean, it's pretty straightforward.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Judging.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Always coming my way.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Jose's made the move to the couch.

[Dave Anthony]

Sweet. Okay, so Ben was more about the logistics of trade and propaganda. And he developed what was called black propaganda, which is the creation of news that seems to be from the enemy. So he would fake documents and reports to drum up. Yeah. To confuse the other side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's also negotiating the release of American prisoners. And he Receives applications from Europeans who want to join the American military. But that costs money to have recruits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's just showing signs. Look at that. That's good news.

[Dave Anthony]

So the Americans start complaining that he's sending over too many of these Europeans who want to fight in the war.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

They can't afford to feed them and house them and kill them all. There's, like, too many soldiers who want to fight England.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Such a strange problem.

[Dave Anthony]

By mid 77, mid 1777, things are not looking good for the Americans. And Ben has to use all his, like, social skills, his wit, his charm to keep the French from just pulling out. Because they're like, you guys are fucked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, one thing we really don't enjoy doing is commit to a situation. We like to finish the job inside head. They're spending more money or split on the belly.

[Dave Anthony]

Who? About the face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your face, maybe. I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

They were sending more money than they could raise. And the British are still advancing. The British occupy Philadelphia at this point. So it looks bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But a British general didn't follow the plan that is set up, and he leaves a section of the army north in Saratoga without any backup, and they all get captured. And this is a huge turning point in the war. Okay, so Ben makes sure everyone knows of this huge victory, writing letters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

And the British try to make peace, but without offering independence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So they invite Ben to London to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Try to do a soft surrender.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they are a soft surrender. So they invite Ben to London to discuss the terms of this. Whatever this is. Yeah. But he won't go. So France at this point, decides that it's going to openly support America. It's signing treaties of alliance and commerce. And so then Ben meets with king Louis the 16th in Versailles to solidify the relationship between the countries, which basically held. We were close with them up until the whole Iraq war. Freedom price.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Oh, that was fucking great. So, potatoes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, potatoes, for a long, long time, are considered by a lot of people to be awful, poisonous things. In France, they had only been declared edible in pair in by the Paris faculty of medicine in 1772. So up until 1772, they think that, I guess they'll kill you or they'll make you sick. What? Well, probably because they came out of the ground and they. And the Irish ate them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Surely they were eating carrots or.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, true, but I don't know. I mean, I'm sure someone ate a potato and they're human. That was it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay, well, they like Ben Franklin's like, a Human potato. They were probably like, yeah, all right.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he starts to show them how versatile the little potato is. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He probably shocks it. He's like, look at that.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's a big potato proponent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

And in 1778, he inspires a Frenchman named Antoine Augustin Parmatier to host a series of dinners in which all the dishes featured potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll die, dude.

[Dave Anthony]

This is. Honestly, this is my ultimate meal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, think about all. Think about all the ways you can have potatoes.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, so many ways in all. Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pretty much all. It's hard to do a loser.

[Dave Anthony]

It's hard to fuck up a potato. It's hard to fuck up a potato. So the dinner is a big success, and he keeps hosting potato dinners for seven years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. So the French turnaround the potato head.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The French come around on the potato because of Benjamin Franklin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. That's a. That's a bigger legacy.

[Dave Anthony]

But then they mastered the potato.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Mashed potatoes, french fries, and au gratin. They were the supreme makers of Jefferson would. Eventually, when he went to France, he would come back from France with those recipes and then make them popular in America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, french fries, we agree, is the number one. Now, I feel like.

[Dave Anthony]

I think I gotta say mashed potatoes for me. I'll take mashed potatoes over any. Anything on earth. I will eat mashed potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. It's an opinion thing.

[Dave Anthony]

I wish is wrong to die in a vat of creamy mashed potatoes. That's how I want to go out. Like when. If they have an assisted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like the Joker.

[Dave Anthony]

An assisted death situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And I'm. Whatever. I have. I have some terrible disease and I'm not going to make it. Put me in. Just. Let me just put me in the big bowl and I just slowly sink into the mashed potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you eating them?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I'm going out eating them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. As long as you're.

[Dave Anthony]

Hopefully they're going in every hole at the same time. I want full potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sometimes I wish I had a story so I could start it back up, because right now it'd be a good time to jump back in. And you're wrong. French fries are.

[Dave Anthony]

And then. And then they take me out of the big mashed potato thing. And, buddy, you lick it off because you're my friend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We found a mashed grave.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1778, one of Ben's fellow commissioners is recalled to America, and John Adams is sent to replace him. And he, his son, John Quincy Adams, move into Ben's house together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Father and son.

[Dave Anthony]

So he Discovers that Ben and the other commissioner, whose name is Lee, are arguing constantly about everything. And Ben once told Lee he had, quote, pity. He quote, pity of your sick mind. I'd quote pity of your sick mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Adams complained about Ben's constant visitors. Quote, a crowd of carriages came to his lodgings with all sorts of people. Some philosophers, academicians, academics and economists. But the greater part, where women and children come to have the honor to see the great Ben. And all to have the pleasure of telling stories about his simplicity. These visitors occupied all of his time till it was time to dress to go out to dinner. So he's just having a good time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He loves having a good time. He's.

[Dave Anthony]

He's an old dude. He's in his 70s. People are coming to him all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a huge celebrity. And every day people come by to either be like, Ben, I have an idea, or they're just like, Mr. Franklin. It is such an honor and wow, you're such a great person.

[Dave Anthony]

May I touch your potatoes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, look at you. I wish you weren't naked for these meetings. Well, hello, Marie. Come on in. I was just taking my pants off. Ah, look at your boy. What's your name? Jean Luc. Hello, little laddie. Have you ever seen a 70 year old man who's 90 in today's age naked?

[Dave Anthony]

So. So now this Lee guy and Ben and Adams are not getting along. So Adam tells Congress that having three commissioners is just not sustainable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Especially for no reason other than because.

[Dave Anthony]

They can't get along.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because they can't kid along.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So Congress dissolves the commission, but he appoints. But they appoint Ben as the only minister to the Court of Versailles. So Adams writes a letter and then Adams has to leave. So he has to go back to Philadelphia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good point.

[Dave Anthony]

So he got himself. Got himself fired.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then Ben Frankel just still sits in that house. And people like. Mr. Franklin. Mr. Franklin? Hello. Well, it's time to go. I have a potato dinner.

[Dave Anthony]

It's time for the potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going.

[Dave Anthony]

So Ben now has to appear at the French court in Versailles every Tuesday. And the British repealed all the laws that the Americans had objected to, still hoping for peace, but without the independence thing. King George III wanted to end the war. He also hates Ben, but he's also scared of how much influence Ben has.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's why he hates him.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote, I think it's so desirable to end the war with that country to avenge the faithless and insolent conduct of France, that I think it may be proper to keep open the channel of intercourse with that insidious man. So he's got to use him, right? He hates somebody's guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He. He wants to. He wants revenge from France so bad, he's gonna. Like. He wants to. I mean, he's basically being like, look, America, we can be in an open relationship, but let's fuck France.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. He doesn't. I think he probably thinks America couldn't fight this war without France, so they're the real devil here. But he hates Ben, but he hates France more because of that. So they have to keep talking to Ben, basically, even though he can't. They don't think he could be trusted. So the King hates Ben so much that he insisted they change the lightning conductors on Q Palace from a sharp point to a blunt one. Sir John Pringle suggested that, quote, the laws of nature were not changeable at royal pleasure. And then he was fired as the Queen's doctor and from the Royal Society. So literally, Ben's invention, they just wanted to change, even though changing it made it not an effective invention.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And John Pringle's just like, I've actually come up with a new way to use potatoes.

[Dave Anthony]

So in April, an American ship managed to take. Make it to British shores.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And raided a small coastal town. I never knew, but I don't remember ever hearing about this. But that's awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

There's no casualties, but the British are just like, oh, it's the home, the homeland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And they're shaking. Ben worked on plans for more ambitious raids. And in June, British troops evacuate Philadelphia, and Congress returns to Philadelphia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And Ben is. Remember, they. I don't know if you remember the episode that we did on this, but they just trashed all the houses. Like, they would just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

They just put a hole in the floor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. They were real.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So Ben is informed that soldiers, quote, stolen. Carried off with them some of your musical instruments. A Welsh harp ball harp. The set of tuned bells, which were in a box and all spare harmonica glasses they took. Likewise, a few books. So Monica's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And which. So there's that plus instruments back then. I mean, just. Oh, so important. Books and instruments. That was it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. That's all you had, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your escape, Whitland. That was it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So a British squadron fires at some French ships, and then now France officially declares war against Britain. So Ben is also the accountant for all military aid coming across the Atlantic. And in 1781, he's now 75. He's like, I'm just He's done. He resigns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm dying.

[Dave Anthony]

I am tired. Old man wants to lay down naked in a field or just in a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bar, let me eat fries.

[Dave Anthony]

He recommends that his grandson take over. You know, the guy who's been the secretary for him. And Congress refuses his resignation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

He's 75.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let him go.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like our Congress now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just gonna say it's like just. They just insist. We just wanna be run by the elderly.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So he stays in the job for four more years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God, I mean, just think of how decrepit Biden is.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, isn't that awful?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awful.

[Dave Anthony]

Like it just doesn't want to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm done.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't. I'm. Let me resign, Please.

[Dave Anthony]

Let me lay down. I want to lay down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm done. Everything hurts. I'm so old, I have head gout.

[Dave Anthony]

So throughout the war, Ben was always very clear that non soldiers should be left alone and not harmed. And he had a list of people who, on both sides, shouldn't be disturbed. This includes farmers and fishermen and merchants and traders, artists, mechanics, quote. It is hardly necessary to add that the hospitals of enemies should not be molested. They ought to be assisted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I'm not doing it.

[Dave Anthony]

It'd be interesting, not attacking hospitals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So he wanted to do more scientific experiments, but he didn't have any time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ, let this old man retire.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Really, Just let him. He wants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I know that we're like some of the. Like whatever. He definitely had. Imagine what we could have gotten out of that mind.

[Dave Anthony]

Right? You. You're wasting a mind. Making him some diplomat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Just allow him to come up with ideas of how he could have come up with something mechanical.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like mine was punching. Punching. No, but punching. It could have been punching machine. No, that's not the punching machine for. Whoa, Whoa. All right. So Ben. Ben and I have been talking about a great idea for a thing. Ben, this is. This is a way to stop people from holding hands and bring land masses back together.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, stop talking. Those aren't two things that we need.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I show it to you.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey. Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody has asked to bring land masses together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You might, because it's. It's because you can't. You can't see how valuable it's going to be if you can't conceive it.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, picture not valuable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is. You don't need boats anymore or bridges. This is a disruptor. Imagine a world where all the land is together and everything Else is water.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now you fuse it together. France is part of New Hampshire. China. Nobody wants Texas. Come on. Why? Well, and nobody can hold hands if you don't want them to.

[Dave Anthony]

That part doesn't make sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hit the Melbourne style. Whack them right in the elbow, Guy.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, I'll take 50.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are not going to be able to produce that many. Way above. What? We don't even have one, if I'm being frank with you.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, well, can you get back to me when you make one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess. Guy's such a dick. It's gonna take forever. It doesn't make any sense. Now that I'm trying to make.

[Dave Anthony]

You don't make any sense. I can hear you. You're. Oh, well, you're still right here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. What I was saying was. Okay, well, we're excited to make it to happen and it's going to be very valuable. I don't have the tech to do this thing. We're screwed, dude.

[Dave Anthony]

So throughout the war. Oh, I already said this. Innocent people shouldn't be harmed. So he wants to do more scientific experiments. No time. He's frustrated with all. With kind of the way science is going. He thinks that there's a lot of frivolous pursuits in science, which leads him to write a sarcastic letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels after they requested scientific papers. So they put a. They put a. Whatever, a general thing out. We want scientific papers. Scientific papers. So he sends a letter which was a call for a deep scientific exploration of farts. Quote, it is universally well known that in digesting our common food there is created or produced in the bowels of human creatures a great quantity of wind. That the permitting this air to escape and mix with the atmosphere is usually offensive to the company from the fetid smell that accompanies it. That all well bred people, therefore, to avoid such offenses, forcibly restrained the efforts of nature to discharge that wind. And then he went on to call for scientists to develop a drug to stop farting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God. What in the name of God? He should be retired. He.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even in. Even if it's in jest to be writing somewhere to be like, let's figure out how to stop farts. I mean, he's totally joking. Okay. Gout, big diet, probably horrible. He probably was just writing about himself. Mainly he was like, it's real bad over here. Real bad.

[Dave Anthony]

But yeah, he's just doing that because he thinks science has become ridiculous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, they're not a bad idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And Then came Beano.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was gonna say there is a thing. I don't know if it works. I've never taken it, but I would imagine.

[Dave Anthony]

And I'm. My doctor prescribed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I'm kidding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. That would be the most embarrassing prescription.

[Dave Anthony]

Beo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this is pretty awkward.

[Dave Anthony]

In October, 18,000 British soldiers surrendered in Yorktown. And the British Prime Minister said, quote, oh God, it is all over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Congress creates a five man committee to negotiate peace. And the committee guy, Ben Franklin is on it. And also they appointed John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, John Jay and Henry Lawrence. So big hitters. Except for Lawrence, who the sat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

But big hitters. What Congress actually didn't know at the time was that Lawrence had been captured and was imprisoned in the Tower of London. So he can't be on the committee anyway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It must have been nice for him to hear that though. He's like, cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's a nice little. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

King George tried to propose that Britain negotiate peace separately with each colony, which didn't fly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, nice try.

[Dave Anthony]

He then tried to, quote, obtain a separate peace with the French. But both attempts failed so badly that the King talked of abdication and even prepared an abdication state statement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he really up.

[Dave Anthony]

He up so bad. He's like, I gotta go. I can't be king.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm a. I've been amazing to be like, I should go.

[Dave Anthony]

The British government, all the ministers resigned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Well, it is a huge fuck up.

[Dave Anthony]

It is a huge fuck up. They up so bad. They. They should have never lost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

In July 1782, Ben's friend, Lord Shelburne became prime minister. And negotiations start. So Ben wrote up four essential requirements for peace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No farting.

[Dave Anthony]

Some other suggestions. So no farting. Really? A cure for gout?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is for the new colony country?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. The cure for gout. I need cure for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is what everyone's talking about.

[Dave Anthony]

America needs a lab. Just some place where like an old guy can tinker around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the punching.

[Dave Anthony]

Punching machine for now and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. You need a fourth to it.

[Dave Anthony]

Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there a fourth? What is it?

[Dave Anthony]

It's a punching machine that brings land together. Landmass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, what is it? Your request.

[Dave Anthony]

And everybody holds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No farting. There'll be no farting. Cure for gout laboratory. And you want a thing called the punch out.

[Dave Anthony]

And no farting. Could potentially overlap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Punching machine four.

[Dave Anthony]

No, but the punching machine that brings land masses together and then people holding hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody will be. I'll handle this Hello. Hi. Hank Lawrence. Been in a tower for a while. So, basically, what this is, is it is a machine that'll get rid of people holding hands because it'll punch him in the elbows and then lands. All the lands that are separated can now be kind of together as one. No, that wasn't what that sounded like, Ben.

[Dave Anthony]

So we would be with the fronts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could be. Or we could mix you with India a little bit. Whatever you want. We're really. We have a prototype.

[Dave Anthony]

A prototype?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You want to see it?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Awesome. Because it was just a bowl of noodles. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

So here's the four requirements. Essential ones. Complete independence and withdrawal of British troops, settlement along the boundaries of the colonies, confinement of Canadian boundaries and freedoms for Americans to fish in Newfoundland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Fish is such a big. That. That was the hardest one for the British.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Oh, boy. Not our cod.

[Dave Anthony]

There were also suggestions. So not requirements. Suggestions where the British pay reparations for burning all the towns and Parliament apologies. No. Can't. No. It was so fun. So the British and Americans meet in secret in France. The French weren't told.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Bold.

[Dave Anthony]

Even though Ben had promised to keep them in the loop. In a move to bolster the need for reparations, Ben creates a fake issue of a real Boston newspaper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

It's called the Independent Chronicle. And he writes an article about a find on the New York frontier. He said American forces had discovered bags containing more than 700, quote, scalps from our unhappy country folks. There were bags of boys, girls, soldiers, and even infant scalps. And they were all said to have been taken by Native Americans who were working with King George. And there was a note written to King George hoping he would receive these gifts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Refreshed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. What the fuck? No, I did not demand that. Look, we're. We're bad, but we did not ask for the scalps of boys and girls. Oh. It's a bag of baby scalps. Thank you. Thank you. Well, then explain this note. I mean, the note is, like, the notes, aggressive. Dear King George, we're really happy that we got the 700 scalps you wanted from Native Americans.

[Dave Anthony]

So, obviously, this is, like, the ultimate version of fake news. Ben even includes a fake letter from naval hero John Paul Jones, who said the colonies must declare independence because the king has, quote, engaged savages to murder defenseless farmers, women, and children. So he's got this thing just. This is a lot of evidence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doesn't exist.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's a master.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Real good lying. Very effective lying.

[Dave Anthony]

Ben printed and sent copies of the paper to colleagues complaining, complaining. It's all true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

He's sending it to people. He. Because he knows all the. He's connected to everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's sending it to all the top dogs, going, look at this, this is true. And then that causes that story to be printed in real papers in Jersey and Pennsylvania, Connecticut, New York, Rhode Island.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shirley did the Native Americans a lot of favors.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it's mainly for Brits to convince the Brits to push the king to give reparations. Yep. He doesn't care about Native Americans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We found our own paper. So you're not. We found one that said that. I don't know. Honestly, it's really good. Yours is really good.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we knocked it out of the park.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They've declared a war on kicks and warm bevies.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's a little late now. I mean, if you had said that when you first started talking about the paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David. Oh my God. Have you seen this new copy of the Royal Times? Oh my God. Plans to stop allowing us more than one lump in our tea. My stomach is turning. Oh, God. It's just the scalp on. So good. It's really good.

[Dave Anthony]

Bag of babies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you can't beat that.

[Dave Anthony]

No, we're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We found a paper that said you want to keep the tip of your cocks.

[Dave Anthony]

Aha.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God damn scat potatoes. That could be good.

[Dave Anthony]

So some. Some Brits immediately saw it was this was just such a good fake and immediately blamed Ben. Like British Prime Minister and known author. Not British Prime, British MP and known author. Horace Walpole who said, quote, Dr. Franklin himself, I should think was the author. It is certainly written by a first rate pen, not a common man of war. So some people are like, this is clearly Franklin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hard for him to be like, it was me.

[Dave Anthony]

Who else comes up with a bag of scalps?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's so brilliant. Whoever did, it's a genius. Like.

[Dave Anthony]

So they sign an agreement on November 30th. It's sent to the French and the French now have to negotiate their own agreement with the Brits. But Ben is able to retire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Finally, at least for one job. He still has work to do, like negotiating trade treaties with European nations. He keeps writing his autobiography. I don't know if you remember this, but like I listened to the second part one that he started. He started writing. It might have been part two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it was part one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I think it was part one. He starts writing his autobiography and he does get back to some science experiments. He's very excited to witness the first launch of a manned hot air balloon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Writing to the head of the Royal Society that it could, quote, pave the way to some discoveries in natural philosophy of which at present we have no conception.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

He writes to his son, who he has become estranged from during the war because William is a loyalist. William was captured during the war, like I said, and put under house arrest. And after the war, he moves to London. And in Ben's letter, he says they've had disagreements, and although William was obviously wrong, perhaps they can put their differences aside for the sake of family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Let's agree that you're wrong 100%.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is all your fault.

[Dave Anthony]

Now that everything is over, now that we can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The justice centers.

[Dave Anthony]

We've done a few.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Time to get our thoughts together. You idiot. Wrong prick.

[Dave Anthony]

You. Look. Let's meet in the. On my side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't even need the apology for your foolishness by boy.

[Dave Anthony]

So he send. He sends William's son, William Temple, to London to see his father. So he had his grandson with him the whole time. That was William's. So in 1784, as Ben gets older, his eyesight becomes worse. He becomes super tired of having to carry two pairs of glasses for reading and long distance. So he slices the lenses from two pairs in half, horizontally, and puts them together in the glasses with the reading part on the bottom and the long distance on the top. And Ben Franklin invents bifocals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. It's pretty good. Really is.

[Dave Anthony]

It is pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Bifocals is one of those things where you're like, it's so simple, but nobody thinks of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But that is a very.

[Dave Anthony]

The guy who does it. Of course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It also eventually unleashed that great Brian Regan bit about trifocals.

[Dave Anthony]

That's all that matters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1784, as I just DMed Brian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Regan to ask him to be on the pastimes.

[Dave Anthony]

You did?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He's so fucking funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's so funny.

[Dave Anthony]

On May 2, 1785, Ben finally received permission to return to the United states.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He's 79. And he wanted, quote, to die in my own country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That was such a simple request, by the way. That would be England. Right. Because the native. Never mind.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoa. Not cool, man. So when he leaves that town.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

They lives in Passy or Passe. Whatever. It felt like they had lost their patriarch. The village.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

At the point. At the port in La Havre, where they waited for a ship, Ben meets with William. But it's Not. It's cold and not great. William's like, no, he's still a loyalist. He's like, no, I was right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So who's hanging on to that?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's just. Look, you lost, bro.

[Dave Anthony]

In seven. In September 3rd. On September 13th, they arrive in Delaware Bay, and he steps out onto Margaret Street Wharf, and there's a huge crowd there waiting for him. He had hoped to be, quote, free from politics for the rest of my life, but he takes the role on the Supreme Executive Council of Pennsylvania. His health is declining, so he doesn't engage in a lot else. He did notice that the top of the lightning rod on his house had almost melted away, so it must have protected his house from lightning at least one time. So he invents a fan, which is attached to his study chair and would fan him with just a slight movement of one foot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. So like a, like, sewing, moving fan, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

A moving fan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben's fucking was on at 80 years old in the 1700s. Was like isolation. Isolation.

[Dave Anthony]

He invented a way to lock his door from bed so he didn't need to get up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is. It's. It's called being a Jedi.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. I guess I could look it up. I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. What the.

[Dave Anthony]

He designed his bath so that he could bathe and read a book without getting wet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's called no Water.

[Dave Anthony]

He took part in the convention to write the Constitution. He felt it wasn't perfect, but the best they could expect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote, I confess that there are several parts of this Constitution which I do not at present approve, but I am not sure I shall never approve them. For having lived long, I've experienced many instances of being obliged by better information or fuller consideration to change opinions. And the older I go, the more apt I am to doubt my own judgment and pay more respect to the judgment of others. But he thought it was close to perfection. He was wrong. Obviously. It's not great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, come on.

[Dave Anthony]

Time. Not kind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1787, he became president of the Pennsylvania Society for Promoting the Abolition of Slavery. His last public act was to send Congress a petition to end slavery. It requested that Congress, quote, devise means for removing the inconsistency from the character of the American people and to promote mercy and justice towards this distressed race. It was immediately criticized by pro Slavic congressmen, and then there was a heated debate. Senate took no action on his petition and referred it to a committee, which concluded that the Constitution didn't allow them to restrict the trade in Slavery. It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It. What a. It's always such a. The lesson is like, yeah, look. Yeah, can use this thing for things that are terrible. So don't be a full on, you know.

[Dave Anthony]

By 1788, Ben. Is Ben ridden. He can't write. He dictates letters, including one to a friend in France. He said he was, you know, satisfied with his life and happy with the Constitution. Although who could say if it would last? Quote, in this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Taxes and my gas.

[Dave Anthony]

Boy, I fought more as I get older. I got a new.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, read that back to me.

[Dave Anthony]

The farts are forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Farts are forever. Okay, you're sending this to Louis xviii.

[Dave Anthony]

The world. The world needs to hear it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm drowning in air farts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A letter to the world.

[Dave Anthony]

My God, help me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God help me. I'm drowning in air farts. Okay. Feels like we've really. I'm suffocating. It feels like we've gotten the message out there pretty well. So. Okay. Is there anything we need to say at the end there? We've said a lot about that. Do you want to talk about that leg? No, I. I think maybe another direction.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like air poo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like air.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, those are my last words.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do we want to sign it or anything? How do you want to sign off? Air poo. Air poo Franklin pen. Mr. Franklin, with all due respect, this is your legacy. Oh, my God. He died. Air pooh Franklin.

[Dave Anthony]

On April 17, 1790, an abscess on his lung burst, and he died at the age of 84. The House of Representatives wore morning clothes for a month, but the Senate refused.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. Wow. They're mad, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Americans are always. There's always a group of twats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So even with all the inventions that he made, and he made a ton of inventions, he never applied for patents for any of them, believing that knowledge should be shared freely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And believe me, I also made that mistake when I came up with the punching machine. For now, I should have just. Thankfully, nobody tried to take it. But I also didn't apply for a patent. But in retrospect, imagine the world without the punching machine. For now.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1791, after his death, a year after his death, the United States of America elected Ben Franklin to be their president.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it did happen. Are you kidding me?

[Dave Anthony]

Why do you think he's on the hundred?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been making that point for over 10 years. We're almost at the 10 year anniversary of me saying that. Are you kidding me?

[Dave Anthony]

It happened, man. It happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, dude. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

A research by Charlotte George. Two main sources. The autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. Ronald Benjamin Franklin. A biography by Ronald Clark Benchwood, Franklin house Museum, Reuters archives.gov Franklin and the wagon Affair by Whitfield Bell and Leonard Laborie. From Ben Franklin to Jacques Barbo Dabu. It's July. It's a letter. Atlas Obscura. Spoon University. Ben Franklin's culinary contributions that make him a founding foodie. Washington Post, LA Times, history.net and allthingsliberty.com and also Philadelphia Magazine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Wild, wild, wild, wild. Now, let me ask you this very quickly before we leave, Dave. The story of America's independence. Hearing it that way because, like, obviously I've heard it, but you hear that and you are like, yeah, that like it. It is. It makes me like it. Like America more. But to what I was saying before, like, you just can't get over how bad it goes and how genocide it gets. Because anytime I'm like, man, that's pretty cool. Like, man, them like, like the monarchy, dumbass King George, cocky prick. You know, we outdid them. They had almost twice as many troops. We fought them. But then you're just going, but also.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I mean, look, it's great to fight the British and throw off, you know that. But, you know, we. We haven't been a great. We've been bad, we're bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've been a bad country, we're bad.

[Dave Anthony]

But yeah, we've been. We've been really bad work. Just by far the most dangerous country. Now, there's not anything close, but there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But back then it was like, all right, this is a new shot.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I like that. But then I'm like, that's just the genocide. Yeah, it's tough, but yeah, well, there you go, There you go. A little bit of sweet, a little bit of source.

[Dave Anthony]

Cheerio, pip, pip, pip, pip, cheerio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Hi there, doll heads. Calling on the gear force. That's right, Stand up comedy. I got it. All right. I am going to be in Philadelphia on December 27th, 28th and 29th. Helium. You can go to Gareth ronalds.com for all these. I will be doing cap city comedy in Austin, Texas, New Year's Eve. Two shows there. January 4th, I will be in Burbank, California, at Sweet Old Flappy John's Flappers, Batavia, Illinois, January 9th and 10th and 11th. It keeps coming in. Then I'll be in cedar Rapids, Iowa. January 12th, I will be at Acme in Minneapolis, Minnesota, January 15th, 16th, 17th, 18th, and then I will be in San Francisco February 12th. Sacramento February 13th I will be in Lutherville, Maryland. I think it's Baltimore April 17th at McGoobies. I'll be there April 18th as well. And I'll be there April 19th. Go to GarethReynolds.com for tickets and information. Join me Gear Force used to be Garmin. Now you're gear for us. Gear Thrills.com.