664 - The Horse Flu

Summary

Summary of "The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds"
Episode 664 - The Horse Flu
Release Date: December 31, 2024

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Introduction

In Episode 664 of The Dollop, titled "The Horse Flu," comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds delve into a lesser-known yet impactful event in American history: the outbreak of a debilitating disease among horses in the late 19th century. This episode explores the origins, spread, and profound effects of the horse flu pandemic, as well as the societal and economic repercussions that ensued.

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Background: The Rise of the ASPCA

The episode begins with the establishment of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) in 1862 by Henry Bergh in response to widespread animal abuse, particularly of horses which were the primary mode of transportation at the time. Gareth humorously recounts his experiences with the ASPCA's influence, noting how its legacy persists in modern times.

Gareth Reynolds [02:11]: "It's fantastic."

The ASPCA played a crucial role in introducing the first anti-cruelty laws in 1866 and operated an ambulance service for injured horses by 1867, highlighting the organization's early commitment to animal welfare.

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Outbreak of the Horse Flu

In late September 1872, an outbreak of a mysterious illness began affecting horses outside Toronto, quickly spreading to urban and rural areas alike. The disease, characterized by coughing, lethargy, stiff limbs, and eventual death, crippled the horse population with a reported infection rate of up to 99%.

Dave Anthony [07:55]: "That's a lot for those three to pick up that load."

The rapid transmission was facilitated by the dense populations in cities and the reliance on horses for transportation and labor. By October, major cities like Detroit, Buffalo, and Chicago were grappling with the epidemic, leading to severe disruptions in daily life and commerce.

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Societal and Economic Impact

The horse flu had a domino effect on various sectors:

• Transportation: With thousands of horses incapacitated, streetcars, mail delivery, and freight transport ground to a halt. In New York City, the absence of horses led to eerily quiet streets and a temporary cessation of frantic urban activity.

  Gareth Reynolds [15:27]: "It's like two waves. And their eyes start tearing up."

• Commerce: Factories and iron mills faced shutdowns due to the inability to transport goods, leading to widespread unemployment and economic stagnation.

  Dave Anthony [38:42]: "Now Pittsburgh has to shut down. Iron mills factories are shutting down because they have no fuel."

• Public Health and Safety: With horses out of service, alternative labor sources emerged, including the use of oxen and even child labor, which introduced new societal challenges and ethical dilemmas.

  Gareth Reynolds [56:41]: "It's a cute name, but really it's child labor."

The pandemic underscored the acute dependency on horses, revealing the fragility of societal infrastructure when faced with such a crisis.

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Responses and Measures

Efforts to combat the horse flu were varied and often ineffective:

• Medical Theories: Without a clear understanding of germ theory, veterinarians proposed several theories, including atmospheric poisons and rapid weather changes, leading to inconsistent treatment approaches.

  Gareth Reynolds [22:03]: "He's got a foot in each theory."

• Treatment Attempts: Remedies ranged from "Shanks Pulmonic syrup and mandrake pills" to faith-based healing, reflecting the desperation and lack of effective medical intervention.

  Dave Anthony [25:48]: "Some people turn to Henry Berg because he's the anti-animal cruelty guy."

• Regulatory Actions: Henry Bergh and the ASPCA enforced strict regulations on horse treatment, often clashing with business interests that prioritized profit over animal welfare.

  Dave Anthony [43:38]: "He only let 10% of teams just go out."

These measures highlighted the tension between emerging animal rights advocacy and entrenched economic interests reliant on horse labor.

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Long-Term Consequences and Transition to Mechanization

The horse flu pandemic accelerated the push towards mechanization and the eventual decline of horse-drawn transportation. Cities, reeling from economic losses and the visible suffering of horses, became more receptive to alternatives like steam-powered engines and electric streetcars.

Dave Anthony [83:21]: "So it had been a longer or a more deadly flu, it could have caused an economic collapse or like starvation in cities."

By demonstrating the vulnerabilities of horse-dependent systems, the pandemic inadvertently paved the way for technological advancements that would redefine urban landscapes and transportation.

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Conclusion

Episode 664 of The Dollop masterfully intertwines historical facts with comedic banter to shed light on the significant yet overlooked impact of the horse flu pandemic. Through engaging storytelling and insightful commentary, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds illustrate how a single event can influence societal structures, economic frameworks, and technological progress. The episode serves as a poignant reminder of the interconnectedness of health, industry, and animal welfare in shaping history.

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Notable Quotes

• Dave Anthony [05:37]: "They were talking about when horses were just laying on the ground, so this is a way to get them to a place."

• Gareth Reynolds [16:03]: "It sounds like it's a force. Fish. Horse. Right. Seahorse."

• Dave Anthony [34:36]: "They're basically saying the rich can get hurt too. It's really bad because also us, the rich."

• Gareth Reynolds [73:21]: "Every time a horse's head pops, an angel gets a dollar."

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Note: The timestamps correspond to moments within the provided transcript where notable quotes occur.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

We're going on tour. And this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been a while.

[Dave Anthony]

March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

That is on March 16th. And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever, we've ever gone to. That's on March 17th. And then we go to Oklahoma City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is our fav. We often say that it's our number one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to. That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, our favorite city, without question.

[Dave Anthony]

And then we head to Dallas, Texas on March 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our favorite city.

[Dave Anthony]

There's never been a better city than better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you don't like it, you're a Dallas hole.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you. And then we go to Houston, Texas, on March 21. City, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best city in the entire world. Number one city in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

You can get [e-mail] tour. You're listening to the Dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is American History podcast. Each week, I, Dave Anthony, re story from American history. Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I came with the bad boys. Gareth Reynolds. I'm drooling. Who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the best thing I've ever heard. Go ahead, say it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I go. My girlfriend now calls me Gary. And it's the fucking worst. It's literally the bit I'll be like. She'll be like, right, Gary? And I'll be like, gareth. And she'll go, gary. And I'm like.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. Well, no podcast. My work here is done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, your legacy lives in many different ways. That is right there with things bizarre choices you've made. And just how that has stuck is just crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

It's fantastic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll be like, after a show, like, Luke and I will be standing there selling stuff. And some people will be like, gary, can I? I'll be like, I don't know. And it's like, it's right on the border where it's like, it doesn't really bother me. But I'm like, hey, come on. This is over 10 years of this.

[Dave Anthony]

It's 10.

[Gareth Reynolds]

10 years of being like, no.

[Dave Anthony]

So good. Everybody loves it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm drinking the hotel coffee from the coffee Maker in the hotel. So if I die during this, what.

[Dave Anthony]

Is the, what is the little thing say there on the cup?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good hatch with a couple.

[Dave Anthony]

Good hatch. Good hat. Oh, because. Yeah, good hatch. Breakfast and lunch. Good hatch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right. The joy is out of the way. Now let's hate the country for a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

And called it, quote, his jam pad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jam pad.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm the fucking hippo guy, Dave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay?

[Dave Anthony]

My name's Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My name's Gary. Wait, is it for fun?

[Dave Anthony]

And this is not gonna become the tickly podcast, okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is like Adam on a five part confession. Now hit him with the pupp. You both present sick arguments.

[Dave Anthony]

No sleep, Del. Hippo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's like hippo action. Hi, G. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Nicely done, my friend. We're going on tour, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yes, we are, David.

[Dave Anthony]

We're going on two tours. First, we're going out in March, which is two and a half months away. I say because I have to get the things ready. Are you going to. We're going to Tempe. We're going to Albuquerque. We're going to Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Dallas, Houston, Austin. And then in June, we are going to Sacramento, Boise, Spokane, Seattle, Portland, Bend, Oregon and San Francisco. You can go to Dollar podcast.com tour to get those sweet, sweet tickets, which are going fast like hotcakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's.

[Dave Anthony]

Speaking of hotcakes, my coast is Gareth Reynolds, 1872. Give me a nickname. Hotcakes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the second nickname you've given me. One off air and one on air.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah, I did just give you one off air, didn't I?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like hotcakes.

[Dave Anthony]

I wasn't one of you. I gave you one. What was the one I gave you before?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Scary. You're real proud. Super stupid.

[Dave Anthony]

Scary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

1872, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The ASPCA was six years old. Six.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have a good feeling.

[Dave Anthony]

It's created by Henry Berg in New York City and he stated that, quote, animals are entitled to kind and respectful treatment at the hands of humans and must be protected under the law. And they were the law, came the law. They were like, yeah, let's, let's not, let's not do terrible things to animals. I mean, that never took, but let's not do terrible things to animals. So this came after years of watching, you know, cock fighting and slaughterhouses doing their thing and the treatment of horses on the streets. And the horses, of course, were the main source of transportation. That was the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the horses, of course, were Their main source. That is the first joke. And it's a C. The horses.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know if I classify.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course, were the source.

[Dave Anthony]

Would you classify that as a joke? Like, if you had to, technically, if.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You grew up with Nick at night or are 80. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

On April 19, 1866, the first Anti cruelty law was passed in New York and the ASPCA was granted the right to enforce anti cruelty laws. So they're animal cops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1867, the ASPCA operated its first ambulance for injured horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That had to be a big fucking ambulance. I guess it's just a horse trailer, but still, if the horse is down.

[Dave Anthony]

It is. It is. That's exactly so it. If you want to think about what it looks like, it is a wagon and there's a roof on it, and then there's just a little ramp that comes down and the horse goes up and into it. That's all. It's a but. It's a but. You know, they were talking about when horses were just laying on the ground, so this is a way to get them to a place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I. It always cracks me up when I see like a baby on board bumper sticker, because I'm like, yeah, whatever. But if I see a horse trailer, I'm like, be very careful.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a. I guess I feel like it's one of those things you shouldn't say out loud.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sort of a private.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, that's a private thought that maybe don't let people in on, you know, that's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because it makes it seem like I'm more okay with child death versus animal death.

[Dave Anthony]

That's correct. Yeah. That. That would be the. That would be the bad part of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So if I say I see a baby on board bumper sticker, I'm getting. I'm. I'm doing a little fast and furious action, but if I see a horse trail, I go, hey, I'm gonna exit and take a break. That comes off poorly.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not great. I gotta. I gotta say, not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Thank you.

[Dave Anthony]

This is, by the way, this was two years before the ambulances for humans were made. So that name. This is for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's great. That's. I mean, that's what it's. That's what this thing said. It sounds like it can't be real, but that's what this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's, you know, that could work with humans.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait a minute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right? It's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

So in 1872 in late September, some horses in the country. Camera. Dumb camera. Outside of Toronto got sick. Just days later, horses in Toronto got sick. I feel like in the city is different than on the country. The stables are packed, and so the illness spreads really quickly in the city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you said they were all in stable condition.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you gonna.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a vehicle. I'm a vehicle for it. I don't know where it comes from.

[Dave Anthony]

Because I feel like at this point, we could have anybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can't make everything about how my jokes are, but that I. I'm standing by that one.

[Dave Anthony]

But we could have anybody in. At this point. At this point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wrong.

[Dave Anthony]

Seven minutes in, anyone could be sitting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There doing what you're doing wrong.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That. You telling me the horse doctor doesn't come in? He doesn't. That's not funny. That's funny. That's funny. I'm not going to sit here and put that doctor being like, well, this is another one in stable condition. But doctor, he's passed away. Yeah, but look at where we are. That's good. That's a sketch. That's a. Ready for what? Do you want to put it on snl? Mad tv?

[Dave Anthony]

That wouldn't make it on the terrible episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Throw it on the YouTubes. Put it on YouTubes maybe.

[Dave Anthony]

No, wouldn't make it on Hee haw either. In 1872, these horses are sick and the stables are. It's spreading around in the stables. Within a couple weeks, the horse sickness was considered to be, quote, general throughout the province.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting way of putting it.

[Dave Anthony]

On October 1, some horses brought the virus to Detroit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Now the way the railroads are. Well, so. So the US Immediately bans the importation of horses into Canada, but the sick horses have already gotten there, so it's. It's too late.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right, Right.

[Dave Anthony]

You want to do that before. And it's been called. It's been called the Canadian horse disease.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

So the train lines in Canada don't go from Canadian city to Canadian city. They go up and down to. So it sounds like if you want to. From Montreal to Toronto, you would come down into the US because all the go up, they go straight up. And then you. So you come down, then cross over to, like, Detroit and then go up to. So the. So the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we. So we. We claimed east, west. And they were like, that's a bummer.

[Dave Anthony]

Because we were probably building the railroad zone. Like, why would I connect Canadian cities? Yeah, and so. And so that sucks if you think about it. And there's a. There's A.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, it's fair. And there's also a horse disease, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, well. Yeah. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Into the US it's not gonna. Yeah, yeah. So. So that's how it's spreading in America. And then it hits Buffalo on October 14, and then a week later, it's endemic in Buffalo. And the city's railroad companies have 300 horses. So that's. So when we say railroad, we're talking about. The horses are on the street pulling the carts. That's what they're calling the rail. Right. It was reported 300 horses. It's reported all but three are sick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy shit.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a heavy. That's a heavy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a lot for those three to pick up that load.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. They got to do a lot of work, those guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

A local editor quote, all classes of business are seriously embarrassed with no immediate prospects of relief.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Well, the biz. It's amazing that right away it comes down to business again, you know, versus, like, being like, dad, should we be worried? We're just like, man, it's tough.

[Dave Anthony]

How are we gonna make money?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, money's money.

[Dave Anthony]

Money. Other things occur.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are many horses.

[Dave Anthony]

So the. The horses have a cough, and then they become weird. I know, I know. I want to hear a horse. While I was doing this. Yeah. How do you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's see.

[Dave Anthony]

So they become sluggish, and then their eyes half close, and their ears start to droop. And then. And then this is the crazy part. So their limbs get stiff and the joints crackle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah.

[Dave Anthony]

When they move around. And then they. They're panting, and they have a fever, and then a lot of them at that point just go to ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here. I got a horse cough here. You want to hear a horse cough?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come with me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hate everything. Everything's just the worst.

[Dave Anthony]

Why I don't need your introduction. You know what else I don't need is your videos. Where.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, here it is. It looks like it's.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's barking.

[Dave Anthony]

It sounds like a dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It sounds like a dog. It does sound like that horse might have swallowed a dog.

[Dave Anthony]

What was I talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You were mad about commercials.

[Dave Anthony]

Was I? Oh, no. Videos. When people put up videos and they're like, here's a bunch of construction things that people had happen on construction sites. And then they just. They put themselves in the video with the construction hat on, just looking at it and shaking their head and putting up the different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, what happens with that is one. One person does it, and then everyone's like, I'll do one.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because it's not hard to do because you're just showing people videos.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The first one you saw, though, was funny. You're like, oh, that's funny. And then it's like, now it's the worst.

[Dave Anthony]

Now it's the worst thing ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everything becomes. Everything becomes the worst so fast. It just takes so little things to become awful, intolerable. And the worst. I think that would, like YouTube if you're like. If you're like, oh, I want to watch the grape stomping woman fall. And then you're like, oh, here it is. And you click on it and then it's some guy like, what's up? Everybody welcome. Or we're gonna look at the grape stomping lady. Like, this is a classic video. And you're like, I don't. Just show me the woman falling.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I mean, that's what it is. That's what it all is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, so. So they. So they're going to ground. Some get better within a few days, but then comes a deeper rasping cough. And their eyes start. So it's like two waves. And their eyes start tearing up. And then their noses get covered with a thick yellow gunk discharge. When the veterinarians said it, sometimes that sometimes came with, quote, a tough green clinker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A tough green clinker. What does that mean?

[Dave Anthony]

I think that's a big, big. Yeah, I think it's a big ass green booger. Horse booger, which has got to be huge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

People just. Yeah, people just turned it off. The infection rate is 99%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

All but 1%. Well, I saw different rates on this. It's very funny. Like, if you read mental floss, they're like 2 to 10%. No one else says that. They're just trying to juice it up to make their story more interesting. But it sounds like it was like 1% died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, 1% died. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

By the third week of October, it is spread to Bangor, Maine, Brooklyn, Providence, and Pontiac, Michigan. So Boston's largest street railway company has 1200 horses. So these are. These are companies that are, you know, moving people around. They're the transportation system. All 1200 are down. They're all sick. The streets of New York are eerily quiet because there's no horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

That meant there's no yelling between the drivers, which was common. There's no collisions. There's no runaway horses, which happened all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tough kids are living. It's terrible.

[Dave Anthony]

Kids are living. People are walking around, talking to each other, having fun. It's been ages since people could cross Broadway without worrying about being trampled. So every day sounds like it's a Sunday, basically. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds. They're saying it's like every day is a Sunday. So some horses are still on the street, though. But we're, quote, prostrate, coughing violently. Most are being kept in their stalls, but there's a lot of horses. So 1% death rate means a lot of corpses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The horse bodies start piling up on the piers of the offal docks in Brooklyn. So that's where they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People just take them.

[Dave Anthony]

It's the animal waste that's gonna be taken to the rendering plant on Barren Island. So you would bring your dead animal to the oval dock, and then it would be handled from there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's horse day? When do they come get the horse? What is it? Which bin is the horse? Because I know that compost is green. What's a horse brown?

[Dave Anthony]

Pig is. The pig is pink. I know that. That's the pig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's pig. What is pig night? I just can't. Oh, my God. They didn't take my pig. Just because one snout's poking out.

[Dave Anthony]

It's too big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These guys are crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

The pig's got to be less than £200. You put. That one's like 210 or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I put a chicken in the pig one, so that's.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, see, then they're not gonna take it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God damn it.

[Dave Anthony]

Chicken is the white bin that's on. That's on Tuesday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No, I know.

[Dave Anthony]

Now I don't know why we have an ocelot bin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I feel like it's rarely used. More like.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I never have one.

[Dave Anthony]

I know I've never had an ocelot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I guess there's one a month. Max.

[Dave Anthony]

Max.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Max. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So they're piling up there. They're basically piling up on the dock. Only 11 of 800 horses, like, fishing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Off the dock, was ruined. This was my spot.

[Dave Anthony]

God. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of bait.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Only 11 of 800 horses of Baltimore City Railway were standing. City after city starts falling to the virus. The cities that had not been hit yet are preparing for it. Scientific American, quote, we advise all in whose sections of the country the pestilence has not yet appeared to lose no time in preparing for it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And no one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. It's so similar in the way that it's just like a command of, like, so figure it out. Stop. It's like. Well, yeah, but getting ready. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good luck.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't do the. All right, bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop your town, everyone. Stop your towns.

[Dave Anthony]

So no one knows what caused it because it's 1870. The germ theory hasn't even kicked in yet. Opinions are of. Experts are all over. All over. Yeah, they're just. Yeah, they're all over the place. I think it's because I got too much hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

An editor quote, all the veterinary doctors were at sea when the disease first appeared, so. Meaning not actually at sea. Meaning that they don't know what the. Is happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Otherwise I would be like, what a bad time for our yearly cruise. This was ill timed.

[Dave Anthony]

Some called it a subtle atmospheric poison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So kind of close, I would imagine.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I mean, it's probably closer to other things. Others said it was from a quick change of the weather, so that's very likely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why are all those cities. No, no, no. Stop. All those towns that have that quick. Yeah, it was a meteorological rain.

[Dave Anthony]

Just. It rained from hot. From rain to hot, it's tough. All the horses are dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, I know horses have been able to handle that the whole time, but recently it's become harder.

[Dave Anthony]

No, in nature they can. If you're out in like a. Say it's the 1500s and there's a beautiful meadow and there' these horses on it and the rain sweeps through and then all of a sudden it's hot. They just die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They drop.

[Dave Anthony]

They drop over. Yeah. They die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why you see so many of them doing that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Anytime. That's why farmers are like, oh, God, the storm's coming. Because they think all the horses are going to die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

So. And quite a few said it wasn't real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love that, love that. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

That seems familiar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's the best.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what we called the Jimmy Dore veterinarian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

One vet said it was, quote, a protein malady varying in its source in different outbreaks and much according to the state of the weather. So it's a combination.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's got a foot in each theory.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

And then you put the. You put the hot on top of that. The. And then bang.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just crazy. You're asking for it.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like growing a mushroom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Horse owners sought remedies, but everywhere they turn, they found a veterinarian with a different theory.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. It's an. I believe it's an std.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, and there's one guy and there's one guy. Bert. Do you guys know Bert? Bert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's burnt the horse fucker, that guy.

[Dave Anthony]

He goes up to Toronto. He.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he loves the Canadian horse Gunch.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's this guy, he's porking more than a pig.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey. The last time I saw him, he's like, I'm heading up north to get some horse boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's all over it. He loves the stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

And why. Why people pay him to do that, I will never understand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's the best. He likes saddle on, by the way. He's kinky.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, I get that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put your blinders in. I don't want you to see it.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it's something to hold on to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Stirrup.

[Dave Anthony]

So no one could even agree what to call it. Many started saying it was a horse flu or a mule flu, and one called it horse malaria. Then everyone just kind of settled on epizootic. Epizootic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not good horse.

[Dave Anthony]

Horse epizutic is bad. It's an animal epidemic, right? Yeah. Yeah. Which they're. They're basically saying they don't know what it is, but that it's widespread.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Still, some continue to say their own names. Like, people were pretty, like a newspaper would be, like, this is what I'm calling it. So epihitic. Epiplourtus. Hippo. Fag. Fagia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hip. Get hippo out of there. That's so confusing.

[Dave Anthony]

Hippleria.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Hip or hippor. Hornia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hips gotta go hip or hornia. Isn't that a game show?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no. Hip, hip, hip. Or hinoria. Okay, so I'm not thinking of the game show. Typhoid, laryngite. Hippo. Zymosis. Hippozomosis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hippos got to stop. Because people are going to be like, wait, the hippos?

[Dave Anthony]

Febrequo bronchiatus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I like having bronc in there. A little broncoy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's all right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

All these names are just pissing other people off. And one editor said people coming up with new names shouldn't be indicted for trying to, quote, break the jaw, paralyze the tongue, and murder humor. Utterance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. No, that's good. You're in a good spot when we're having the word fucking debate.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, before we cure it, what should we call it? Let's take a couple months to get this right, everybody.

[Dave Anthony]

So cures were also all over the place. Obviously there's not many veterinarians in each city, and they are all competing for business. So it's like when you see the ads in the papers, like cured whatever. Like you have dandruff. Take Dr. Franklin's liquor of oils. Like it's that. So that veterinarians did the same thing. So they're all trying to drum up business. So besides veterinarians, old stable hands and just opportunists and you know, the. The snake oil salesmen come out of the woodwork.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

But everyone seemed to agree that rest and no work, Clean stalls and fresh air. Right. Good food, that's the way to go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Ads for cures still start appearing in papers. The Baltimore sun had one quote. Shanks, Pulmonic syrup and mandrake pills have within the past few days been used with remarkable and sure success in the treatment of the new horse disease sweeping the country. Arrests the progress of the malady and the animal recovers and resumes work in a much shorter time than when placed under any other treatment. So Ivermectin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love horse syrup. First of all. I can't be the only guy who's putting that stuff on everything.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's real good.

[Dave Anthony]

Especially when it comes fresh out of the horse. Fresh horse syrup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That guy's like, I think you misunderstood my directions. It'll go. You just got to keep.

[Dave Anthony]

Get it right out of the syrup tube.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go. And I'll tell you what. Hey, where's the horse's penis, by the way?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ted, Ted, Ted. It's just got this huge syrup straw down here.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just. It's just a giant.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Takes a while to work it out.

[Dave Anthony]

But when you get that syrup out, it's hot, I tell you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Dave Anthony]

So if that didn't work, you could also try Dr. Wegenfeld celebrated horse powder. People also said gin and ginger, pictures of arsenic. And then some people were using faith.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Healing, gin and ginger. You ought to get the horse kind of drunk.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the move. So men who made their living off of the labor of horses are pushing their now sick animals to the limit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right? Of course.

[Dave Anthony]

Of course. Not Everyone is going to take care of their horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but like we were saying before, it's like you need to supplement that to get.

[Dave Anthony]

This is where the government needs to come in and go, hey, we're going to pay you while your horse is sick because everything's fucked up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We need. You need to do us a favor and not make money for a minute off your horse.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So here we'll take care of you.

[Dave Anthony]

There had never been a more important moment for an organization like the aspca. Many people turn to Henry Berg because he's the anti animal cruelty guy. So he must have an answer for all this. He didn't have any medical training, but he is called a good authority on treating the horses. He doesn't buy germ theory.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a lot of pressure. Oh, good, good, good, good.

[Dave Anthony]

He. He doesn't believe in germ theory. So that's a new thing. So okay, he's like, it's due. But what he did say I'm actually okay with. He's like, it's the filthy conditions they live in. They need to have clean stables, they need good food, they need rest. So he's right. That's okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pasta.

[Dave Anthony]

A lot of people listen to him and rest of their horses. So he didn't. So it wasn't like he said, right, let's. Let's use Ivermectin. He said, take care of yourself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. He was like, wash your hands and socially. Distance.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, basically. And like, and like, you know, clean the air. Use a HEPA filter. Like smart stuff. Put on a mask. That's what he's saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mask.

[Dave Anthony]

A horse masked morsk. Some worried it would jump into the human population. So that. That's a thing that, you know, we know that with flus. Flus. Even then they knew a flu could jump out of an animal into the human population. And get ready. 20, 25 stores sold out of horse blankets because people are taking care of their boys, their ladies. They're covering them up. They want. Because the horses are shaking and freezing. Newspapers publish recipes to feed your sick horse. Newspapers are like, here' stuff to feed him a steaming bag of oats or slow hot food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, oatmeal.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I mean, we're talking about oatmeal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Basically a steaming bag of. But it makes sense. Oh, well, now I got to hire a horse chef. Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Bran. So I assume the horses are just like crazy flask seed tea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Horses like a good tea. They've always enjoyed a hot beverage. Just get the hot food and stuff for your horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love the hot food. The hot food is awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, that's what I would want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Another sausage, huh? How's everyone liking the salmon? Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

How is the horses? A lobster dough. That's. That's cold. God damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I almost said that's okay. No, you have hot lobster.

[Dave Anthony]

It's is a bisque.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A biscuit. Yes. Hot. You're thinking of the gaspacho Oh, I.

[Dave Anthony]

Am thinking I should have said it. I up the joke. Yes, actually, because I hate lobster, so I don't know. But a horse would enjoy. I don't like any. I'm not a shellfish guy. I don't like shellfish. That's like. That's eating a rat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'll be eating rats in your lifetime, so chill with that attitude.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people note the hypocrisy of all of a sudden, these people taking care of their animals. Quote, suddenly every horse owner who has been accustomed to abuse. To abuse his animal, now that there is a prospect of losing him, discovers, oh, he is a dear friend, a noble creature deserving of the kindest consideration and most touching care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right, Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So now they're like, they're abusing the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but it's all right.

[Dave Anthony]

The ASPCA is around because people were abusing their horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Anthony]

Store sold out. Oh, I already. That it had not hit Chicago by October 24th. But then it hits, like, fast a week later, in just one day, over a thousand horses got sick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

And a couple days later, three quarters of the horses are down. Over 100 start dying a day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, shit.

[Dave Anthony]

The Tribune quote, the streets were deserted. Chicago had just suffered the great fire 11 months before. And builders were trying to rebuild the city before winter, but now they can't get supplies. And this is a crucial period to get shit built, because winter is fucking coming. Not if you've been to Chicago, but it's not great. It's. Yeah, we're talking about the pizza.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, they're talking about the Bears.

[Dave Anthony]

The Chicago. Chicago. This is the Chicago Tribune. Quote, no such severe calamities as the fire and the horse disease ever before visited one city in a year. No, you're. There are cities that were totally wiped out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not that we've heard of. No one's ever had it worse. No, no, no. There's been a fire and a bunch of horses are down. No one in the history of man's been through more. Stop showing me those Native American papers. We will not be looking at that. Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

Let me show you the Aztecs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now. Aztecs. Come on. What have they ever done? We had a big fire and now our horses are napping.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay? Sodom and Gomorrah is in the Bible. Pompeii.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Pompeii.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did he owe you? We'll be right back. Hey. Now, I'm gonna have to ask you to knock off a lot of that stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay? That's fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks. And we're Back.

[Dave Anthony]

It is as if. It is as if someone determined upon our destruction had attempted to knock us down. The moment we get up. Al Qaeda people. People in other cities became very aware of how reliant they were on horses for everything. Food, clothing, fuel, the nation. Quote, we now see that horses and mules are not simply private property. They are wheels in our great social machine, the stoppage of which means widespread injury to all classes and conditions of persons. So they're basically saying the rich can get hurt too. Do. They're basically saying this is really bad because also us, the rich. It's. This is really bad. If I can't get my.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now we're feeling it.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't get my tea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

The New York Times worried panic would hit, quote, the most disastrous unsettling of values is more than probable. So this end we're going to run out of and people are going to come get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But always on the brink.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's always on the brink.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're always like, shit, that could be bad. What if they. They could come get. There's so many of them.

[Dave Anthony]

Hold on. I'm starting to think most people not having anything could backfire on us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If they pieces together that we have all the shit, that's gonna be really bad. There's so many of them. So if they recognize that we're just hoarding all the shit up here, that's gonna be really fucking bad for us.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we should probably kill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do they see. Do they look like they know we have all the. God, I hope they don't realize that we have most of the up here.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we do live in a giant. I mean, the mansion is a whole block.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, I know. Which I love, which is great. But it's just once they. They could just take down that fence and they'll swim that moat if they're ever.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we only have a fence there. We have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They ever piece it together, That'll be bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just because we have so much and a lot of this is their yo. A lot of this.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're paying for this. So if they realize that that's. You know, we'll be up Schitt's Creek. It'll be bad.

[Dave Anthony]

Just Schitt's Creek.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Let's not live in it. Let's stay focused.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm just saying. I got it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a throw.

[Dave Anthony]

It's funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It will last pretty good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But let's just. Just.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, let's live in it. Marinate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. But yeah. Okay. All right. Just keep an Eye on these idiots. You understand?

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm going to a completely different part of the mansion.

[Dave Anthony]

I get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Coal shipments massively dropped off horses and mules, help with mining and transportation. There were horsepowered canals that they were used for coal transportation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So horsepower canals.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. So I did not know this, and then I found it, and then I became obsessed with it, finding pictures of it and everything else. So they would have boats, and this also was a big thing in England. All those canals. All those canals were horsepowered. They would have horses. Like you would have a horse path on the levee or on the edge of the canal, and the horse would pull the boat. And so that's how they got a lot of the coal around, huh? Yeah. I had no idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It still doesn't make a ton of sense to me.

[Dave Anthony]

Well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, because they could just move so much more stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because it's on water and the horse can pull it as opposed to being on ground. It's just easier to do it on the water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, these just. So we're all picturing the same thing. These are horses with kind of gills.

[Dave Anthony]

Yep. There. It's a force. Fish. Horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. Okay. Seahorse. Yeah, seahorse.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, no, because this is. These are fresh water.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, great. All right, well, let's do the ads and then let's come back. All right, we're good. Let's go.

[Dave Anthony]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got that.

[Dave Anthony]

So. Yeah, so. So that. That's all shut down. And so now people are freaking out because also, people don't know how long this is going to last.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right, Right.

[Dave Anthony]

The horses are getting sick, so. Or if they're going to live or whatever. So now people are worried about what they're calling a coal famine in the winter, which panics people, and that causes the price of coal to explode because everyone's got to take advantage of it. It's not like the price is different. It just. It's the same amount you bought it for before, so you could sell it for your regular profit, but whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now.

[Dave Anthony]

Now Pittsburgh has to shut down. Iron mills factories are shutting down because they have no fuel. Thousands of workers are being furloughed. Even when trains have enough coal, they can't bring goods because there's nowhere to put it because it's all piling up at the depot because there are no horses to move it away from the depot. So it's a. I mean, we're very show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're very.

[Dave Anthony]

It just. It just shows how quick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Much to yank a block out of the Jenga economy.

[Dave Anthony]

Exactly. It does. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like we. You really do. We see it over and over. Like when the pan. When the Panama Canal, we were like. But that's all of our. It was like, yeah, I guess that's the end of your. You're like, wait.

[Dave Anthony]

This is as if the cars stopped working all at once. Like, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, or the works.

[Dave Anthony]

So some cities bring in oxen scabs now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Disgusting.

[Dave Anthony]

The ox hate harnesses. And we're quote. They were quote.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, listen. Yeah, There's. I'm gonna point out. Let. Full candor. Let's be transparent. The oxen are not gonna play ball like the horses. Now, the oxen. A couple things. Harnesses. They're out. They're not gonna do the harness. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So how do we. How do we connect them to the wagon?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not gonna. I'm not here to necessarily pitch solutions, but you're just gonna have to put a little faith in the oxygen ox. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That one's what it is.

[Dave Anthony]

Oxen, we're also, quote, contrary and vicious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on, we're not done. The ox do not respond well to commands.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are big, free will animals.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're not going to be able to demand or command. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, that sounds not at all helpful. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nothing on their backs, period. Nothing on their backs. You can't sing on an ox's back.

[Dave Anthony]

That's a big part of what we need.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And an easy way to remember that is no box on the ox. They'll lose their minds.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, anything in front of them that's an obstruction will stop them dead in their tracks. They will not. They will fear that and not do that.

[Dave Anthony]

Anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anything.

[Dave Anthony]

Like a rock or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No rocks.

[Dave Anthony]

No rocks. This sounds like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, it's resolution.

[Dave Anthony]

It's. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that. Just let's get them all out there, then we can start to chalkboard some of these issues. An ox cannot be near another ox or a man.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No water.

[Dave Anthony]

Why. I mean, why don't we just get a panther like this? Sounds crazy. It doesn't sound helpful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just the ox guy, so. I mean, there's a reason why they call oxes crap horses.

[Dave Anthony]

It doesn't even sound anything. It's like an oppo horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It kind of threw me, to be honest. I had a lot of stuff prepared, and then this guy's kind of. And by the way, so expensive to feed. Okay, so here's a thousand. Here's a thousand.

[Dave Anthony]

They were charging 10 to $12 a day for the ox teams. So their prices, drivers were exhausted trying to control the ox and carts were smashed up by them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

They're slow, they're apparently really clumsy. They would slip a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just imagining the guys going home, looking at their horses like I didn't know how good we had.

[Dave Anthony]

My God, I didn't know I love you till you moved.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now that I'm playing the field, you were the one.

[Dave Anthony]

So street urchins, as they were called, started heckling the ox drivers and throwing rocks at the slow moving.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. And the ASPCO's like, guys, they really spread pretty thin. Throw knocks at the aucts.

[Dave Anthony]

Mail delivery schedules had to be changed because the aux was so slow. But everyone was also like, well this is better than nothing. I mean, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Priority is now two to nine months.

[Dave Anthony]

In New York, Henry Berg stationed himself on major horse rail lines and stopped every car to inspect the horses. Now he dressed fancy. He had on a top hat and had a silver cane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

He also has a big drooping mustache.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

The cops have his back because he's an official city agency and he, he's, you know, it's a department. So Berg would order the sick horses back to their stables so they'd come through to get inspected. And he'd be like, nope, these ones are, these ones are in bad shape. They gotta go back when the pandemic is peaking. He only let 10% of teams just go out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Some horse car companies just shut down to avoid the ASPCA and Berg. Others would add horses to lighten the load. And Berg took the moment to attack the company saying they took better care of their cars than they did of their horses who were not fed well and housed in quote, the damp, dark, foul smelling cellar below the street. Okay, this broke my brain a little bit. They were keeping horses in cellars. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So horses, like if a wine was an animal, make sure to put them on their side now otherwise they'll get horrible and vinegary.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So that like that all those places in New York that are like, you know, cellar, apartment. Yeah, probably a lot of horses and stuff in there. But it make, you know, it would make sense if you think about it. But yeah. Where else are you going to put the horses?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, yeah, I mean build, build stables.

[Dave Anthony]

But I, there's too many horses to do that. There's too many.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sure. Ninja Turtlene.

[Dave Anthony]

He said this was all the stockholders fault. Who only cared about money, not humanity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, correct. Can we just stop attacking These people, that's fair. They're the heroes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, no, I get it. They give jobs, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

They have the jobs. Give the jobs, they give the jobs.

[Dave Anthony]

So the price of ox shoots up in some places. Ox become literally priceless. So greedy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hate them. So they're just like expensive, do nothing ox. Idiot.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, A lot of us are saying that this is brain hair. Hair thinning, very common, except for Neutrophil who seems to be signing off on some of that nonsense.

[Dave Anthony]

I would say. Yeah, no, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quackery.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The email was super clear. No, their lawyers have been.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they were like, please stop, stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, this is exactly it. So anyway, so this is a brain hair thing.

[Dave Anthony]

So hair thinning, very common. A lot of dudes deal with it. It's very frustrating and you make you feel bad. So yeah, you stress, there's the hormones. There's just so many factors affect it. And now you have neutrophil. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over 1 million people in just 3 to 6 months. Go from a hat guy, which is what I am right now, to a hair guy with thicker, stronger, woo. Hair faster going, you're having less shedding neutrals. Hair growth supplements are physician formulated using 100 drug free ingredients. Their patented technology provides consistent, reliable results. Men also reported no compromise in sexual performance. Baby, we be well. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now read the email before you start.

[Dave Anthony]

Saying some of that stuff. To do that they begged us using neutral and like I said here before, my person who cuts my hair and some friends have been like, are you. Did you get. What happened? Did you get plugs?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone mentioned on Twitter that your hair.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, no, it's. I've been using neutral and it makes my hair look thicker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They said your hair looks better and your face is getting more problematic.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there's no medicine for that. There's no supplements. There's nothing you can do about my face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's doggish.

[Dave Anthony]

It's disturbo. So, yeah. So people, people, like, confuse the what's happening in my hair with like Rogaine use or whatever. Nope, it's just neutrophil. That's all I'm doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, if you use Rogaine, that can be poisonous for your animals. Just so you know. So not to fire a cannon in their direction.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

It just, it's. It's just so funny to listen to the seeds of the anger of freedom.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like the way that people attack freedom in this country.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Now the bit. A lot of business guys are opposed to these pious animal lovers meddling in their business dealings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These disgusting.

[Dave Anthony]

Even while there is a clear crisis happening, obviously this is like a legitimate thing. These do gooders only care about animals, not humans who are suffering too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Profit. We need profit.

[Dave Anthony]

What are people gonna eat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

The car companies put out letters explaining how the animal animal lovers have made life hard for their customers. People are trying to get to their jobs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, I'm starting to think you make some of these up.

[Dave Anthony]

They said a pregnant woman, the exact same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you were to go to church, chat GBT and just be like Covid. But horses, it'd be like this.

[Dave Anthony]

Like they put out a letter that a pregnant woman had to walk home in the mud. A woman missed a funeral. Like they're using like, oh, it's like when the president gives the State of the Union, he's like. And Ginger over there had to blame. Like, it's the same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like the State of the Union. Or like the new. Like the way the new news. Like, well, isolate. They'll be like, a woman's missing. It's like, well, nobody wants her missing. Or when they go, what about these?

[Dave Anthony]

A homeless guy attacked someone today. And you're like, yeah, but also on the same train. Taco Bell stole millions of dollars from their employees. So there's that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Did they.

[Dave Anthony]

I believe they did, yeah. Someone recently got caught, but they get caught all the time. That's why when you go to any sort of place, whether it be Office Depot or Taco Bell, whatever it is, and they say, would you like to round up for charity? Do not give them that fucking money, because they are using it to get tax breaks. They're going to take it and say, we're donating this. Here's our tax. And then how do you even know they're going to fucking give it? These are corporations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

There's no way they get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So if you want to do, just.

[Dave Anthony]

Round up yourself at home and send it to someone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a joke about when you would go to the cashier and they'd be like, do you want to help cure some? And you'd be like, it just. Like, it's one of those things that gets so normalized. Or they would just be like, hey, do you want to help cancer research? And you'd be like, oh, I hate cancer. But then eventually you'd be like, is it this the government's role?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. You feel really guilty saying no, but you should always say no, because they are. There's no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'll be able Just to. Yeah, just. Just the nuts. Great. Now the next time that happens to me. Oh, the way I'm gonna answer. No, I hate you.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so. Oh, all right. So I was talking about the people that they're writing about. So, you know, they talked about customers having to walk home in the rain in Boston. They're just personalizing all this shit. The companies wanted to know. They would put in letters like, how many people got sick because people couldn't ride in the fucking rail cars? How many. Maybe people died to protect these horses? So that leads people to try other solutions. Goats, donkeys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. That.

[Dave Anthony]

There was a baker using a Newfoundland dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, look, I think we're all in a tough spot. So I understand that what I'm about To say, might be little out of left field, but we tried ox.

[Dave Anthony]

Mm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But we haven't tried goats.

[Dave Anthony]

No. Oh, yeah, they are. Wait. For which?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, to, you know, to move stuff and to get the cars moving again.

[Dave Anthony]

How many goats would you need to pull a rail car?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a big. My calculations say we're gonna need about 800 goats a car. Now, now. Now we are in beta. But right off the bat, let's talk downsides.

[Dave Anthony]

And are you asking for VC money on this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I need help in a lot of ways because we need to transform the way goats behave. The goats are the advantage. Goats can care.

[Dave Anthony]

I just see the goat stopping and eating a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, impossible to stop a goat from doing what it wants to do. That's right off the bat.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's like a little ox.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's worse. It's worse than an ox. An ox is gonna make up for its downside. The goat. There's a good chance the goats. You know, you might. The goat. You might. The goat might go, and you might never see the goat. I mean, that's just. You know what I mean, that goats are. Goats are very into their own world. Goats are. I like to think of a goat like a small horse on psychedelics. So the goat is. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what? Thanks for. Thanks for your pitch. We're gonna talk to the dog guy and then the. The goose guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But we'll let you know tomorrow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. If we're going to say one last thing in closing.

[Dave Anthony]

Cats. We might do cats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would not use my idea.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Yeah, that's really feeling I got. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's just. It's not good. And, you know, we.

[Dave Anthony]

We think you should get some sleep. Deep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, I've been. I've been out a lot, and I've been working on this a lot, and my marriage has fallen apart a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's not. Because it's. Your ideas are not good. I mean, that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I make one more pitch?

[Dave Anthony]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Baby boys.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Thanks a lot. Good to meet you guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So coach donkeys. Becker uses a Newfoundland dog. Some people start pulling carts themselves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's fucking so, so great.

[Dave Anthony]

And Gareth, as you just said, kids are now everywhere pulling handcarts and pushing wheelbarrows full of goods.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No kids.

[Dave Anthony]

The mail.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have men.

[Dave Anthony]

The mail starts using a bunch of kids pushing wheelbarrows, which became known as the Fast Wheelbarrow Express. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a cute name. As we always ought to do, which is be like, it's a cute name, but really it's child labor.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, but if you give child labor a cute name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. They're the Otsy Tootsie Gang. This boy's arm fell off.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people are making money. The Baltimore Sun. Quote, furniture, bedding, iron, hoop iron. Huge baskets of goods, bundles of dry goods. In fact, every description of small articles could be seen born on the shoulders and heads of men and boys who are in demand on all sides and are liberally paid. So some guys are getting out there and making money. They're just hauling around. Okay. They're probably also out of their factory job or whatever. But, you know, right. In Baltimore, black guys are used in teams to haul wagons of oysters, which the oysters need to be immediately shipped. They can't come out of the water and sit around. And in San Francisco, they hired Chinese men to haul goods. So they're. They're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a job beneath the white man.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, thanks for answering my question.

[Dave Anthony]

One Boston manufacturer had to get some big machine that he made to a customer. So he hires a crew to haul it. Then he hires a marching band to walk behind them to encourage them to move quickly. Quickly?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're over budget. Is there any way we can make cuts? Not that I see. Not that I see. We need every person on this. Hey, could some of those guys help us with the oysters? The clarinet guy? Are you out of your mind? No. All right, guys, from the top. Let's go.

[Dave Anthony]

So he has this. They do this all the way from his store or factory, whatever it was, all the way to the docks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people hire drummer boys to keep the wagon haulers steps in the rhythm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. That is.

[Dave Anthony]

Keep them moving newspapers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys are way off beat. Let's go.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, do I have to hire two drummer boys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Newspapers noted that when men pulled their sick or disabled wives to weddings or events in light buggies. So it's guys are now taking the place of the. You know those one horse buggy things? Yeah, they're called gits, I think. So now the guy is putting his wife in that. And then like, he's being the horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's a pitch. Here's a pitch. Let her stay home.

[Dave Anthony]

Let her miss the wedding. Or like some. I get it. Like, you want to go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do not get it. I do not get it. I could not get it. This idea that you have to go to these. It's just the craziest in the world.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What am I gonna do? Miss a wedding? Yeah. Yes. You're gonna miss a wedding. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, There's a crisis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's fine.

[Dave Anthony]

But that's not how people work. People have to do things. Even though there's a horrible crisis they have to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have no ability to think long term. No, we just. It has completely left our. We just have. No, we just cannot do it. We cannot think about five years from now. We're like. But tomorrow would be tough.

[Dave Anthony]

Farmers could not get their crops to market, and they're paying insane prices to get the few oxen and healthy horses to take them. So they're losing gobs of money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

And some people who had healthy horse, some farmers who have healthy horses don't want to bring them to the city because they could get the flu in the city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

So some farmers would just go to the city limit and then walk the rest of the way in themselves carrying the stuff for some reason thinking that, like an artificial border created by man is going to protect the horses from the flu.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The flu won't cross this line.

[Dave Anthony]

They're like cops. They can't arrest the flu. Can't arrest my horses here, Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Illegal.

[Dave Anthony]

So it doesn't matter. Thousands of tons of the fall harvest is rotting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Butchers and slaughterhouses stop buying meat, worried they won't be able to sell it. And the same thing happens with bakers and milkmen. So everything is just shutting down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

The shipping companies are hemorrhaging money each day as the sickness continues. Because this is how they make all their fucking money. They can't do anything. Wharves in coastal cities are now just packed with boxes and crates that are just not moving. Everything's just piling up. Debris starts making its way from the. The ports and the docks into the streets and blocking traffic. River thieves start going crazy and just pillaging.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, by the way, I know I'm.

[Dave Anthony]

On the river thieves side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The river thieves. What do you. The river thieves were super common, respectful.

[Dave Anthony]

The companies then have to hire more guards, but at the same time, all the perishable goods are rotting on the docks. Shipping companies put ads in the papers that just basically beg people to come down and pick up their own packages if they can. Ships now, ships are loaded using horsepower cranes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, shit.

[Dave Anthony]

So ships are now just waiting in the harbors to be loaded, but they can't be loaded. And the harbors are now just packed with ships. Some people would finally just give up. Some captains would give up and just have what they could. Men could carry on and then they would take that and go off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably the best move.

[Dave Anthony]

Thousands of people lose their jobs. We're in a recession now. We're in a recession. Saloons.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't believe. It's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Saloons have nothing to serve because they have no delivery horses. Theaters have no audiences because even people with money aren't. Everyone's staying home now. They're just like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Y.

[Dave Anthony]

What's the point? It's chaos out there. People can't pay their bills because the economy is just retracting. There's no coal. So some schools in cold areas are closing. Weddings are shrinking in size. Funeral possessions are impossible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll just drag Uncle Don.

[Dave Anthony]

A Boston reporter quote. Funerals are set. The hour comes. The mourners assemble. The sad service goes on and is ended. It is raining. The dead remain unburied. The weather lifts on the following day. The cemetery is five miles away. One horse is found to draw the hearse. One mourner follows the dead to the grave. He rides on the hearse with the undertaker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, listen, we can. I know how we can drop a little bit of the weight. Walk. You don't have to sit on the horse.

[Dave Anthony]

What? No, just walk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't have to ride the hearse like it's.

[Dave Anthony]

I have a nice dress.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but just walk. Don't go.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I can't walk. How.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're just trying to get the body in the ground.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, we can't because the horse lifts it down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I understand that, but do you need to be a writing participant?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, because my uncle died and I wanted to go. Bye, bye, uncle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a super weird tradition.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I can't just say goodbye to him at the house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's.

[Dave Anthony]

I gotta walk to the place where we put him in the. Like a. Put him in the ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What my son is trying to say is that we. We cannot get him there unless we are sitting on top of where his dead body is.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the horse has to carry that, the wreath, the tombstone, and our uncle's favorite belongings. His uncle's favorite belongings, which are all strapped to the goats, which are all put on the goats, which will also be on top of there.

[Dave Anthony]

And the goats have eaten most of the stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The goats are full. These are packed goats. Yeah, yeah, Goats full of oats. So you know what's life in a recession, Jack? So.

[Dave Anthony]

The air smelled from horse carcasses piling up and burning tar and sulfur. Which stable? Stable owners were using the burning tar and sulfur to ward off the virus. So they're just Burning this all over the place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's so dumb.

[Dave Anthony]

It's all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, like, we're dumb now, but this is an interesting dumb.

[Dave Anthony]

It's very. Yeah. Fire chiefs worried fire would break out and they wouldn't be able to use the fire engines. So they. They put out word, like, we. If a fire happens, we need volunteers to come out and help. A fire does break out in Nashville, and 24 volunteers harness themselves and pull the fire wagon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Anthony]

But then they lose control of it and it smashes into a cigar store.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no. No more fire. Those things went right up.

[Dave Anthony]

Luckily, there were other people who put the fire out. On November 9th in Boston, as the pandemic is in its later days. The fire horses, however, are not ready to get back. So a fire breaks out. A fire breaks out in the business district, and men try to pull the fire wagon, but they can't get it done. They don't get there in time. The fire spreads quickly through this warehouse, mostly because. Through different warehouses, mostly because there's. It's full of now. So all the warehouses, all the buildings are full of crates. And, yeah, it's all tinder. So it's just packed into them. And so when are we going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Deliver all these logs?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, so the fire is, like, just exploding, cooking. It's so hot that granite buildings are cracking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Dave Anthony]

70 acres of downtown Boston burns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

12 firemen are killed, thousands out of work, all because they couldn't get the fire engine there in time because there's no horses. Two days later, the same thing almost happens in Philadelphia. But some sort of lucky break they caught. It didn't spread right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They just threw batteries at it. Now what? Can I pee real quick? Sorry. Yeah, it's just vamp or, you know, it's gross.

[Dave Anthony]

No one likes it when you. He. I mean, some. I'm sure there's some ladies out there that are like, oh, I. I could. I'd watch Gareth P. Or want to be peed on. I bet there's. I bet there are ladies out there who want to be peed on by Gareth. That's what I'm. That's the point I'm making. And. And we're gonna put that. That's going to be part of the tour package. So you can. You can buy a ticket. There's no meet and greet now. There's a meet and peace. And there'll be a tub in back, and you can get in it, and Gareth will pee on you. It's $75 extra. It's not that much. And you get a special part of the dollop on you. And then you can maybe. Sorry, you can clean there. You can not clean there. But get the pee package. Get the pee package when you come to the Dolph shows and Gareth will pee on you in a tough. In the back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I told you that story. Well, there's that one time we were doing a live show where I was going to die from piss, and I was sitting there. This is when we used to just pound beers. And I was just sitting there like, I'm gonna die from piss.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then. And then I said, I got so bad that I go, dave, I have to go to the bathroom. You go, hold on, we're almost done. And I was like, dave, I'm gonna die. And then, like, we did, like, another five minutes. And I was like. I was like, white, He's. He's not gonna make it.

[Dave Anthony]

That would have been amazing. Way to go. So cities across the US Are now scared fire is gonna happen and they'd have no horses to move the fire wagons. The New York Tribune quote, if there are, well, horses anywhere, they ought to be in the engine house. So they're saying, like. Like, let's keep horses aside. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Of course. That's not what's happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're essential workers.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They're saying the city should pay for these horses at any price.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Some see positives in all this, like, how much everyone is suddenly forced to walk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

The Nashville Banner quote, too many believe that legs were made to convey their owners to the nearest streetcar and no further. And as far as horses, pretty much everyone agreed to survive they should not work during the. So now everyone's like, they've seen enough horses be pushed out to work and die. And they're like, okay, that shouldn't be happening. But horse car companies and drivers are looking at economic ruin, and they ignore people and. And, you know. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's so. It is so interesting to just be like, hey, is it just me? Or maybe like, we've kind of lost the thread of what this is all about. Like, we got so.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of everywhere. We're supposed to walk, we're supposed to do things, we're supposed to be active. We're sp. And then just. A billionaire shoots him in the back of the head. Quiet. Now. Come on, let's get these goods moving, you morons.

[Dave Anthony]

So they start ignoring people, telling them not to use the horses. They push them back to work before they're ready. Many found the day after putting back to work. So they put them back to work. And then the next day the horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Had dropsy, meaning we lowered the day where they. They. We used to say 10 days, but now it's five that you should isolate as a horse. And now it's none.

[Dave Anthony]

That's none. Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's nowhere safer to be than inside of a horse car.

[Dave Anthony]

The horses have dropsy, meaning they're bloated with fluid that causes them. They just massively bloat. Their legs are twice their normal size and quote, head swollen to a round ball. Now, I don't know if you know about horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Movement.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I don't know if you know about horses, but their heads aren't round.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, but that's. You want that they're turning into ox. Their final form.

[Dave Anthony]

Of those who had this. Of those who had this. What? It's labor. It's a labor induced, like worsening of the infection. 20% of them would die. So these companies are forcing the horses back to work. And guess what? Now you have to buy 20% more horses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

They're fucking idiots.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Always short term profits. Exactly. It's always just like, how do I make it to the end of today? The business community operates like crackheads.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So this is seen as a second related disease. It's like when you get pneumonia from COVID So the sign related to the lack of labor, I mean the laboring of them. And so many now are putting. So this causes more people to just like put their horses in stables because this secondary infection, that happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Ted. My horse's head popped and water came out.

[Dave Anthony]

Is that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you had that?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, they're supposed to do that. That's a new horse feature.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's just not taking commands at all anymore.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, no, they'll pop and they won't take commands and. Yeah, it's great. It's great. Just keep them out there. Okay, good to hear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because I. I have concerns, but that's good to hear that you feel.

[Dave Anthony]

You know the old saying, work your way through it, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Yep, exactly. Yep. Every time a horse's head pops, an angel gets a dollar. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Like a horse doesn't feel like a horse unless it's taking someone to the theater.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I know. It's just the. I mean, I'm telling you, some of these heads, they are just gushers. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's great. No, it's good. It's good. It just lets the water out. It makes him feel better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. No, I Definitely. He's made a lot less noise since his head water popped.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, no, he'll make a lot less noise. Noise now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, I'm gonna send some guys by for the food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great, great.

[Dave Anthony]

The horse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

We're gonna make tacos.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, Great, great. That sounds. Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So the. So now more people are putting their horses in stables instead of working them. And that only extends all the economic pain of people, though. Now it sounds like this is going on for a while, but in each city it's only lasting two to three weeks. But it's two, three weeks of everything shutting down and no one prepared. And it does spread across the country. It spreads through the rail lines, basically. So the transcontinental railroad has just been put in place and so it can get across the country, but it's literally spreading along the rail line lines.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. This is where Canada's plan seems pretty good. They're like, we've had a. No, east, west migration of the problem.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. So while a place like New York can be recovered, St. Louis can be in the middle of it. It's that kind of thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right, right.

[Dave Anthony]

And then in Chicago, it snowed early and it seemed like that cleared up the virus. So it's clearly airborne. And the mass slaughter in. Of buffalo. So I'm talking about not the city, the mass slaughter of buffalo. My heart in Kansas gets slowed down by the horse flu.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also happened in the playoffs because.

[Dave Anthony]

They can't chase the. Yeah, they can't chase the, the buffalo without their horses. Okay. So. Yeah, so the, the buffalo are being slaughtered in Kansas and they get slowed down because they can't chase them. You can't kill. You need horses to kill buffalo. Right. I guess you can stand there and shoot at them, but you gotta chase them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I don't know if I like the chances of a man on foot. I mean, I love to think of it, but it's like Buster Keaton.

[Dave Anthony]

The horse flu hit Texas in December, hit Nevada in January. Desert roads were littered with goods that were dumped when teams of traveling horses went down. So people. Yeah, so people, I guess, going across country. San Francisco gets his hit in March, the US Cavalry had to fight the Apache on foot for a few weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've been unable to kill Indians as regularly as we want.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, probably the same with the Apache because the Apache were big horse riders, horsemen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like to believe that they probably paid a little bit more attention to what was going on, but I hope so.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. So the Horse flu goes on until the last reported outbreak is in Nicaragua in 1873, in September. So a lot of reporters had mocked Berg over the years for loving animals and wanting to help animals. But that changed during the pandemic, and some kind of wrote like, subtle apologies and said horses were actually overburdened. It all makes Americans suddenly realize horses are important and actually living shit lives because they didn't hear about how things were in the state. No one cared. So no one was writing about how things were in the stables. And now they kind of had to pay attention to it because they're like, oh, that's a bad condition for them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this where horse journalism comes from?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, this is the horse. Yeah, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Right, right.

[Dave Anthony]

The Chicago Tribune, quote, most of us have to have forgotten that the horse was an animal like ourselves, liable to pains and aches and death. We have come to think of him as a machine on whose endurance we would calculate as on that of an engine, and for whose mortality we could make ample allowance in our business under the head of wear and tear. People are now seeing them as suffering animals, right? And important and very important animals, especially as they watch. As they watch the few who were still working, right? The. Because they're overloaded and they're shivering under blankets, they're being forced to work. So they kind of have to confront, like, oh, there's this sick horse and he has to go do a thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And also stupid. It's.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, they're also. Well, it's all in the name of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Smart enough to be. Smart enough to realize how dumb you are. Very unique.

[Dave Anthony]

They also saw them drop dead because they were being overworked during. While they were sick and falling. So they had to confound reality that horses live terrible short lives under our system. Some people saw a moral in it. The plague caused a divine retribution of the owners who were brutally exploiting them. And that had led to a place where they were vulnerable to a virus. El Godkin, who was editor of the Nation, called their treatment, quote, a disgrace to civilization, worthy of the Dark Ages. So some people are, like, coming around, right? This makes them sort of take a look at things. Some religious people saw horses as a divine gift man had been given to oversee, and they had obviously failed in overseas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People are really over correcting.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that was especially like, oh, God made us because there were guys pulling the wagons. So the religious people are like, oh, God made us learn. Take the place of the horse, right? And to. To learn. And this is a big boost to the. Aspca and anti cruelty, you know. Cause some start lobbying state governments to pass laws against overloading horses. That obviously fails.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shocking.

[Dave Anthony]

In New York, Berg pushed one that would force transit companies to add horses when they went up steep grades. So they're like, okay, what about this one instance where they're, they're having to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really tough it out, which is great. But here's the problem. That's going to cost more if you think about that. That's a big issue for what we're going for.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Then a Lawmaker said, quote, Mr. Berg already has more power than the Emperor of Russia or anyone else on the face of the earth. So that didn't pass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

It's always the same. It's always the same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is, it's just, it's. Listen, stupid is always lurking around the corner and ready to. It's just. Stupid's easier. Stupid's more convenient and it's easier.

[Dave Anthony]

But people who are making money are looking for any reason. And so they jump on the dumbest shit and go, yes, yes, yes. Because they want to make money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. No, Covid for five days. That is better. You don't need to test. You're good. It's called natural immunity.

[Dave Anthony]

Kids can't get it. As long as you're not looking at the research coming out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kids can't get it. That was the best one.

[Dave Anthony]

That was amazing. That was the main. Kids can't get. Kids don't get long. Coveted 4 year old guy was just like, did you hear?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The kids can't get it.

[Dave Anthony]

Really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Their nostrils can't get it because they're smaller. So it's filtering. The nostrils are Covid's. The size of a grown booger.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, Else can't get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They found out teachers, teachers can't get it. Teachers and kids and workers, they can't get it.

[Dave Anthony]

So the public quickly starts to forget about the overworked horses. The railroads then take the ASPCA to court to get them barred from interfering in horse business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. They've been horsing around.

[Dave Anthony]

They sue the ASPCA for lost profits and to get an injunction. And a judge decides the ASPCA cannot stop cars for horse inspections, but could only intervene if the suffering is obvious. So. And then if there's cruelty, they can arrest the driver and the conductor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

They can't make the horses go back to the stable if they appear sick. So court fights continue between the ASPCA and the rail cars for years and over time the companies realize it's actually beneficial to have ASPCA agents oversee things. They inspected the stables and the feed and the drivers. And Vanderbilt suggested the transit companies and anti cruelty organizations have the same goal, keeping working horses healthy. But it's actually priority are because they don't care. But they do, but they are like, look, the cost benefit of having dead horses, like they're probably like, yeah, then I have to buy another horse and that's bad. So there's like a middle ground there, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right, of course, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

They finally are like, oh, they, our thing can't die. The horse flu also spurred interest in horseless transit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh.

[Dave Anthony]

So it, had it been a longer or a more deadly flu, it could have caused an economic collapse or like starvation in cities. Like it could have been really fucking grim. Cities had to become less reliant on horses and capitalists had been looking for a steam powered solution for a couple of decades. Steam powered engine doesn't need rest. You don't have to fuel it. When it's at night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of the steam engines are getting a little sick. We don't know how.

[Dave Anthony]

They don't need space to live in. Right. You don't have to put them in cellars and you could treat them horribly if you wanted and they wouldn't and piss everywhere. Also steam engines don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steam engine has diarrhea.

[Dave Anthony]

And then they also like, well you could have an idiot 16 year old that could drive a steam engine. Right. So it's, it's the much better. So humane societies also want a mechanical horse thing to happen. By 1872, however, most cities had banned steam engines because they're dirty and they're loud and they're accident prone and sometimes they would explode. So a horse was considered better. But then the, then this pandemic comes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You gotta love that. They were like, this is bad. This is, it's bad overall. They were like, well then let's not use it. It's just amazing.

[Dave Anthony]

But then the pandemic hits and some steam engines were allowed in temporarily and then other engines would try to have the pandemic. Right. Cause after the pandemic everyone's like, we gotta get an engine of some kind. There's compressed air, ammonia gas. One plan in New York was to move people in pneumatic tubes underground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, absolutely.

[Dave Anthony]

The cable car in San Francisco absolutely is. Cable car in San Francisco is the one thing at the time that actually caught on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I don't, I mean I've taken the tube, I've taken a couple Pneumatic tubes places.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not doing Uber tube.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I do too. No, yeah, I do. Uber tuber. Tuber.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. Have you done tuber?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I tube all. I tuber all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way better.

[Dave Anthony]

But three years after the pandemic, nothing has actually caught on. And in the late 1880s, electric streetcars come and spread to cities all over. But most cities still had horse car lines for, like, the next 20 years. And the amount of horses only increased. But then eventually, as we all know, the car came.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Dave Anthony]

That was the end of it. No lessons were learned. No lessons learned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They dodged a bullet. And then no lessons were learned. And then.

[Dave Anthony]

No, none.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, we gotta go. Thanks, everybody. Oh, hey there, doll heads. I'm calling on the G force. That's right. You're the G force. Listen, I got some standup dates. Go to Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information. I will be in Philadelphia at Helium, December 27th, 28th and 29th. New Year's. I'll be in Austin, Texas, at cap city comedy. Two shows. Come get them. I'll be in Flappers, Burbank, California. January 4th, January 9th through January 11th. I'll be in Batavia, Illinois. I'll be in cedar Rapids, Iowa. January 12th. I'll be at Acme in Minneapolis, January 15th through January 18th, February 7th, I'll be back out in Cali at the Berea Improv. Then San Francisco, February 12th, Sacramento, February 13th. And then Florida. You've begged for it. You're getting a show. March 24, I'll be in Naples, Florida, at Off the Hook. I'll be in Charlotte, April 13, Virginia Beach, April 15, Richmond, April 16, I'll be in Timonium, Maryland, on a Goobie's Jokehouse. April 17, April 18, April 19. And then Winnipeg. I'll be there May 29 through May 31. Go to GarethReynolds.com for tickets and information. I need you, Gareth Force. You're my people. I love you. Come join me, Gareth Reynolds dot com. Kiss me.