689 - Larry Craig - live

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - Episode 689: Larry Craig - Live

Introduction

In Episode 689 of The Dollop, titled "Larry Craig - Live," hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds delve into the controversial and tumultuous career of former U.S. Senator Larry Craig. Released on June 24, 2025, this episode dissects Craig's rise in American politics, the scandal that overshadowed his legacy, and the subsequent fallout that affected his personal and professional life.

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Early Life and Education

Larry Craig was born to Dorothy, Lenore, and Elvin Oren Craig on a ranch near Midvale, Idaho, in 1945. Growing up on a homesteaded ranch established in 1899, he received his education in a one-room schoolhouse, reflecting a modest and isolated upbringing. Raised Methodist, Craig demonstrated early leadership qualities, becoming student body president at the University of Idaho and actively participating in the Delta Chi fraternity, where he earned the nickname "Mother Craig" for his meticulousness and leadership (Dave Anthony, 02:22).

Notable Quote:

“His fellow frat members called him Mother Craig. Huh.” (Gareth Reynolds, 02:32)

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Political Ascendancy

Craig's political journey began early. After a brief and unsuccessful stint at George Washington University, he returned to Idaho and joined the Idaho National Guard in 1970. By 1974, Craig entered politics, running unopposed for the state senate and subsequently securing a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives in 1980 with 54% of the vote—a victory attributed to the burgeoning Reagan Revolution (Dave Anthony, 07:02).

During his tenure, Craig was recognized as a staunch Reagan Republican, advocating for policies such as selling public lands, promoting work over food stamps, and balancing the federal budget. He also sponsored cultural initiatives, including a bill to designate a week as National Old-Time Fiddlers Week, showcasing his commitment to traditional American values (Dave Anthony, 09:45).

Notable Quote:

“He's a classic Reagan Republican. He wants to sell the public land, make people on food stamps, work, balance the budget, et cetera.” (Dave Anthony, 09:29)

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The Scandal Unfolds

Larry Craig's career took a dramatic turn in 2007 when he was arrested at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport for soliciting sex from a male undercover police officer in a restroom—an act that sparked nationwide controversy. This incident marked a significant moment in American politics, intersecting issues of personal conduct, privacy, and LGBTQ+ rights.

Notable Quote:

“In 2007, Larry had been in the Senate for 18 years. Ashcroft, Larry, and Lott put on a performance of the Singing Senators.” (Dave Anthony, 57:32)

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Denials and Legal Proceedings

Following his arrest, Craig vehemently denied any homosexual activities, emphasizing his heterosexual marriage and professing innocence. He initially pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct, a decision he later regretted and sought to withdraw. Despite his efforts, the court denied his motion to retract the plea, compelling him to pay a $575 fine (Dave Anthony, 66:26).

Notable Quote:

“I did nothing wrong, and I regret the decision to plead guilty...” (Larry Craig, 70:21)

Craig's legal team argued that his guilty plea was a mistake made under immense personal and public pressure. Nevertheless, the scandal irreparably damaged his reputation, leading to calls for his resignation from both political allies and opponents.

Notable Quote:

“Gareth Reynolds: What a fucking piece of shit.” (Gareth Reynolds, 87:22)

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Political and Personal Fallout

The scandal not only tarnished Craig's political image but also strained his personal life. His family faced public scrutiny, and his standing within the Republican Party was jeopardized. Despite maintaining his innocence publicly, the opposition leveraged the scandal to question his integrity and moral standing.

Craig eventually decided not to seek re-election, retiring from the Senate in January 2009. Post-retirement, he faced further legal challenges, including fines for misusing campaign funds and continuing ethical lapses, which underscored the long-term consequences of the scandal (Dave Anthony, 90:06).

Notable Quote:

“Gareth Reynolds: That's the best thing he got done in Congress and Senate.” (Gareth Reynolds, 79:51)

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Legacy and Impact

Larry Craig's downfall served as a pivotal moment in the discourse surrounding LGBTQ+ rights and the expectations of personal conduct for public officials. The incident highlighted the intense scrutiny politicians face and the complex interplay between personal actions and public perception.

Craig's legacy is marred by his association with this scandal, overshadowing his legislative contributions and reinforcing the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in politics. The episode concludes with reflections on how scandals of this nature continue to influence political landscapes and societal attitudes toward personal privacy and identity.

Notable Quote:

“Dave Anthony: But that was because the bathroom had become a tourist destination.” (Dave Anthony, 79:58)

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Conclusion

Episode 689 of The Dollop offers a comprehensive examination of Larry Craig's career, illuminating the intricate dynamics that led to his rise and subsequent fall from grace. Through engaging dialogue and insightful commentary, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds provide listeners with a nuanced understanding of the personal and political ramifications of Craig's actions, underscoring the enduring impact of his scandal on American political history.

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Sources Referenced in the Episode:

• The Idaho Statesman
• The Spokesman Review
• ABC News
• CNN
• Rolling Stone
• The Smoking Gun
• Various legal and news reports

Note: This summary focuses solely on the content related to Larry Craig, omitting advertisements, intros, outros, and unrelated segments for clarity and coherence.

Transcript

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I.

[Dave Anthony]

You're listening to the Dollop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there a reason that you two aren't cla? Everyone clapped and. Oh, okay. Go ahead. Keep going.

[Dave Anthony]

This is an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history. Just me in the eye and Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Ketamine. The story. Yeah, that was the.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure, let's do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks, man. 1-397-123 20th, 1945.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry Craig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jenny's dad.

[Dave Anthony]

Was born to Dorothy, Lenore and Elvin Oren Craig on a ranch 24 miles from the nearest paved road near Midvale, Idaho.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Your story checks out, by the way.

[Dave Anthony]

Not even from there. He's from, like, close to there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Well, it is very mid.

[Dave Anthony]

Very mid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that, though. I like that. That space there. That's what I'm after. That's what we need. Don't. Don't acknowledge what I said. Keep going.

[Dave Anthony]

The ranch was homesteaded in 1899 by his grand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, started.

[Dave Anthony]

Means he stole the land from the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I am Don Gutfeld next Thursday. So chill.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry grew up on the ranch and was educated in a one room schoolhouse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice. We'll get back to that.

[Dave Anthony]

We'll get back to that. So he's raised Methodist. He was accepted into the University of Idaho, where he was student body president and a member of the Delta Chi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Delta Chi. The Delta Chi Chi boy fraternity.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure, whatever. They're all bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Dave Anthony]

He became president of the frat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice.

[Dave Anthony]

That's impressive, that is. His fellow frat members called him Mother Craig. Huh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That doesn't bother me.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, because he was so on top of things. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Very, very on top of things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Just. Just always on top.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The way it should be. That's the man's role.

[Dave Anthony]

A man would come forward years later to say that when he was considering pledging the fraternity, Larry took him to his bedroom and quote, made what? Made what? Said he. No, that's not written. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Made what said.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh. Made what? He said what he. I'm sorry, that's. I'm trying to read this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we go. We're. Okay, everyone back to 1, 3, 2.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Made what he. What he took to be an invitation to sex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah, now the name rings a bell, now that we're at that part.

[Dave Anthony]

During this time, he served as future Farmers of America national Vice president.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mm.

[Dave Anthony]

It's fucking sweet. Are there any future Farmers of America members?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you don't need to Shout out. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Somebody yelled. I know. Someone answered for the whole group. And we're like, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, one woman, one woman he dated on and off for a year said, quote, I don't imagine that he ever held my hand. I always felt like I was an accessory. I might as well have been his briefcase. It's fucking hot. Some hot shit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Women expect too much from men. I mean, would you just give us a break? Holding your hand, treating you like a perk. Come on, we're busy.

[Dave Anthony]

Just let me put.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're future farmers.

[Dave Anthony]

Put these papers in you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll open you with a code.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry graduated with a degree in political science. He was trained by an old school speech guy and won speaking contest. His bedroom at the ranch was filled with trophies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a little too impressed by what you just heard. You ever been in someone's room with trophies? You're like, that's a sad, bad little life you got in here, huh? Lot of ribbons. What's your plan?

[Dave Anthony]

Like, how many college guys in that time are going to speech contests? It was like him and like a lump of shit named Bob. Second place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I keep thinking about why people had a lock on their. Like how important you have to think you are to have a lock on your briefcase with your three little digit passcode. The fucking balls on you to be like, there you go.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, no one can get my printed papers.

[Dave Anthony]

Can have a lot of stuff in there. Remember the guy who turned his briefcase into a suck machine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're not allowed. Quit kink shaming that guy. Man's an American hero.

[Dave Anthony]

We did get a lot of shit for kink shaming that one because don't make fun of the guy who's got a dick sucking briefcase.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was tough. We both were like, I think I feel okay going back at these people and being like, look, God bless him. I'm glad he got to do it. But he was married with his wife in his house. He went to his garage and like he was rebuilding a Trans Am, made a suitcase that sucked his dick. That is. That's funny.

[Dave Anthony]

It's very funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a funny setup.

[Dave Anthony]

So he, Larry is clearly going to be a politician. And he went to George Washington University in D.C. to pursue a graduate degree, but bailed after just months and came back to the ranch in 1970.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. He failed. Okay. So he went back to his trophy room.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I can talk. Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He then joined the Idaho National Guard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And in 1970.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's pretty cool. That's what makes it an action verb. And I think that's pretty cool.

[Dave Anthony]

It's probably the only.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's pretty cool.

[Dave Anthony]

It's probably the only thing you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, shut up. Last night you gave me like a fucking. You were like, oh, you know, modicum.

[Dave Anthony]

Ooh, I did?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Last night, he said. And the whole place came. It went quiet because everyone's like, wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is not what happened. Only you. Only Dave was like, hold on a minute, boy. Have you been opening those things with pages in them? That's my work. Go work on your Swedish accent, you fool.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1974, he ran for the state senate and the incumbent had retired. So he runs unopposed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And he got 700 votes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's still. That's. Why don't. Can I do that? Can I run unopposed? Can we make a documentary called Running Unopposed? Yes. Where I just run for something unopposed?

[Dave Anthony]

All you have to do is be a Republican and no Democrat runs against you anywhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'm out.

[Dave Anthony]

He opened a donut shop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uh huh, sure.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, sorry. He serves three terms in the. In the state senate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And while he was in the state senate, he opened a donut shop called Donut House.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Donut House. Like, it's like a German. Like.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, the donut with two other guys. It went bankrupt in 1978.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, it's okay.

[Dave Anthony]

He ran for Congress in 1980, pivoting to be more conservative for the Reagan revolution. Fuck yeah. Greatest president. His Dem opponent brought up the bankruptcy because Larry had taken out a $70. A $70,000 Small Business Administration loan for the donut shop while being against bailouts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's. Look, this is what I think people need to understand. If you're in government, you love socialism for yourself. It's just we don't get it right? So they. There's a safety net for you. And when we need it, go fuck yourself. Yeah, I wish they just had a modicum of. Oh, never mind.

[Dave Anthony]

So Larry won with 54% of the vote because it was a big Reagan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because he's a Reagan guy. Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

He's a classic Reagan Republican. He wants to sell the public land, make people on food stamps, work, balance the budget, et cetera.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That just sounds big and beautiful to me.

[Dave Anthony]

So he did sponsor a bill to ask Reagan to name a week as National Old Time Fiddlers Week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the actual fuck are you clapping for? Did it happen? You don't even know if it happened. Listen to you weirdos. Did it happen? Lady who came in super Late knows everything. Is there a National Fiddlers Week? There's what? Jesus Christ. I was like, what is she talking about? There's a pirate.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean he's kind of a pirate. He's an old guy with one eye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is so. That's what we call piracist. Not just any guy who loses an eye is a buccaneer, you asshole.

[Dave Anthony]

Some of these people don't have fiddles that guys like. If you don't have a fiddle, you could just be a person getting in the picture.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me, Some of us are here to fuck the fiddlers.

[Dave Anthony]

Old time. No, young fiddlers. Get the fuck out of here with your young bullshit. In the summer of 1982, CBS broke the news of gay sex between congressmen and underage congressional pages. CBS interviewed a 17 year old male page who said he had sex with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Congressman a male page.

[Dave Anthony]

There were absolutely no allegations made that Larry was involved. As far as anyone know, he had absolutely nothing to do with it. And the next day he issued a public denial.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's awesome. I wasn't there.

[Dave Anthony]

We have learned that several congressmen are having sex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, not me. Excuse me, I wasn't even near that.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't even know they were doing that. They are gay and with the other men.

[Dave Anthony]

Gay. I'm saying that we. We.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who are they? Hold on, I. No, no, no, no.

[Dave Anthony]

We're not actually talking. We're just saying in Congress we don't know who.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I don't know who they are either. I have no idea. I have no idea. I don't know. I don't know anything about it. And I wasn't there. I'm not gay, so let's stop that right now. You know what? I'm into vagina. That's a passion of mine.

[Dave Anthony]

When you say it like that. I disagree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I love a bit of grandma's old medicine.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Vagina. Vagina, that's what we used to call it.

[Dave Anthony]

Did you say grandma's old medicine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's not grandpa's. That's disgusting. And I just want to make sure you understand. Trying to figure out if I was involved in that would be a waste of your time, because I wasn't. I like ladies a lot actually. And I like men to do stuff to ladies, but I don't want to watch. And if it was, I'd be watching the woman for you. See, I'm not a guy who likes to be with men.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote, I have done nothing that I need to be either publicly or privately ashamed of. I am guilty of no crime or impropriety. And I am convinced that this is an effort to damage my personal character and destroy my political career.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But really, nobody was saying anything.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody said anything to him. No one said anything. Of course, this caused the Idaho Statesman newspaper to question why he made that statement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. What are you even talking about? I've already cleared this up. Why are you even asking a question? But I've already told you that's not something I'm into. I like women a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here, go find me one. I'll kiss her right now.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. No, we're good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I love it. I don't want to do any other stuff with her, though, with you here later. I think I'll figure it out.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think you will.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I think I'm going to be very good with it. Yeah. Don't come at knacking.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Larry's district administrator said, quote, we do not know. We do know. There is no substance to them. I mean, he's a farmer and rancher from Midvale, for God's sake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what do they think?

[Dave Anthony]

He can't be gay out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gay? He's airborne.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not in the water in Midvale.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Do you see that mist? Look out.

[Dave Anthony]

Some of the city gays coming. It's airborne.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the corn's ruined. It's gone gay this year. What are you talking about, Papa? It's inedible.

[Dave Anthony]

His mom and dad wrote a letter to the Idaho Statesman chastising the paper for its coverage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Cause they were like, why are you saying you're not gay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I was gay, I didn't. Why do you keep saying the word gay around me?

[Dave Anthony]

Larry said he had to come out and deny it because of reporting and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Coming out and denying it. Let me finish. Good Lord, Can a man take a breath before the rest of his sentence? I've never felt so good and free about coming out as a straight man.

[Dave Anthony]

He had to come out and deny it because the reporter had questioned him. But the New York Post said they just asked him. Standard stuff, like, have you heard anything? Who? Have you heard about any names mentioned?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

He denied something. No one accused him of?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry now feels boxed in, so he asked the FBI to interview him. Get your best gay squad on me. Not, like, hold on, I said that wrong. Get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you imagine? Like, the FBI probably went from speakerphone to, like, hold on. What are you asking for? I want a group of you to come interview Me about being gay, which I'm not. And I'll say that we're kind of busy with other stuff. Yeah, I just need like two guys down. Doesn't need to be guys. Can be girls too, but I don't know if they're ideally guys, younger ones, but. Come down here, interview me. I'll deny the whole thing. Try me right now. Ask me if I'm gay.

[Dave Anthony]

And they should have mustaches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, ask me if I'm gay.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you gay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

The FBI report said Larry went on record stating he'd never had sex with either a page or, quote, engaged in a homosexual relationship with any person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a lot of smoke.

[Dave Anthony]

It's weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it gets weirder. Larry then hired a polygraph examiner to give him a test.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was literally gonna suggest that he takes a.

[Dave Anthony]

This is crazy. I mean, I'm not gay, dude. Jesus, what the fuck? I'm from fucking Midvale.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a farmer.

[Dave Anthony]

The examiner concluded, quote, craig, this was weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This whole thing was super strange. I honestly don't understand it. He asked himself the questions. I just stood there.

[Dave Anthony]

The examiner concluded, quote, craig is not a homosexual. Proof. Case fucking closed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. He's holding up the paper. Look at that. Look at how balanced I was during that question.

[Dave Anthony]

There he gets the newspaper headline framed and put on his wall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, well, well. Looks like somebody's not at all gay. Isn't that right?

[Dave Anthony]

Larry then sent the Statesman his military records to counter rumors that he left the National Guard because he was gay. The Record said he was honorably discharged for having flat feet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which was really disappointing because I couldn't go to the gay clubs in DA or nothing. Nothing. Okay, so just outsider pov. It seems like Larry's not gay.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, at this point, every gay person in America is like, oh my God, he's so fucking gay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And. And they're like, oh, no, he's gay. He this.

[Dave Anthony]

So later, the page, who. The 17 year old page again, came forward and said, later. He comes out and says he made it all up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

But in 1983, the Ethics Committee recommended reprimands for two congressmen, a Democrat and a Republican, for having sex with pages. It wasn't criminal because the age of consent in D.C. oh, thank you. Was 16 and the pages were 17.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, say that again.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, so two. Two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I'm gay.

[Dave Anthony]

Two congressmen had sex with pages and the pages were 17.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Consent in D.C. 16. Legal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not saying.

[Dave Anthony]

You know what? Hey, you're puritanical. Bullshit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm saying. And that was. Okay, question mark. Jeez, stop talking.

[Dave Anthony]

I just can't believe you're saying it's okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's not okay. Oh, thank you. But the legal age, you're saying. So it's 16.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's. Yeah. So they can't kick him out of Congress because, I mean, they should have, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they're just mail pages.

[Dave Anthony]

I think they were both just mail pages.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Because I guarantee you there were like a lot of, like, underage women who are like. Pardon? No, that's fine. But.

[Dave Anthony]

So the page banging 100 happening. A year later, Craig married and adopted. Adopted. Married a woman and adopted her kids. Three kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, that'd be a pretty crazy move for a gay man to make, Wouldn't it be? Look at it.

[Dave Anthony]

Susan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Poor Susan. Poor, poor Susan. As Larry's cutting that cake like, oh.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm still going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe I shouldn't have followed Reagan.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm. I'm going to get my cake and eat it too. You know what I mean? Honey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who was the guy?

[Dave Anthony]

What? What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The guy who just came up here and handed me wine. Who was he?

[Dave Anthony]

No one did that. That didn't happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, dear.

[Dave Anthony]

No one. No one did that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was my page. It was pretty cute.

[Dave Anthony]

Rumors quickly began.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sir, shut up.

[Dave Anthony]

Rumors quickly began that it was a sham marriage to derail gay rumors. Larry supported any anti gay legislation that came along.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean that. Amen. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

And he went after Barney Frank. Frank was a Massachusetts congressman who came out as gay in 1987. Now, so what had happened with Barney was he had hired a male escort. And they became close over time. As you do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like a pretty woman.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, you finally meet someone who looks at you and is like, I like you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What's it like?

[Dave Anthony]

You gotta pay. Gotta pay to play buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll pay. I have paid. How much to pretend you like me? We don't even need to do anything.

[Dave Anthony]

There's not enough work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just put on the dollop. Will you just enjoy this in front of me?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God, I'm pausing an escort.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Amp it up a little, will ya?

[Dave Anthony]

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Hiring an escort to listen to your own podcast with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, and then I. And then I pay her more to just like, laugh harder. I'm on a good run.

[Dave Anthony]

She's like, I can't fake it that much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have. I'm out of money.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, so Barney hires a male escort. He Falls in love with them. It sounds like he moves in with Frank. Frank is paying for the escort's living, basically. Right. Everything he wants. But then he finds out the escort is still escorting on the side, so Frank gets mad and kicks him out. So the escort now goes and tries to get a bidding war going for his story, but no one bites, and the Washington Times ends up printing it for free.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool. That's cool.

[Dave Anthony]

There are then calls for a House investigation into Barney Frank. Some believe he had used public money to pay for the escort.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that's the issue, you know?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. They're making it up. Yeah. Like, he's gonna be like, I'm not gonna pay this $200. I'm getting this out of someone to write me a government check.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Make it out to Sexy, Sexy Bill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's gonna be a bit difficult for me to make out that check for you. That's my Bonnie Frank impression. I can't believe that this f cord had betrayed me.

[Dave Anthony]

So House Minority Whip Newt Gingrich did not want Republicans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The idea. I can't wait for the end of this. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

I guess we're booing great Americans now. Is that we're doing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

So he does not want Republicans to go after Frank, but Larry is on the Ethics Committee, and he is demanding that it happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there's a gay man in the House. We need to stop it.

[Dave Anthony]

So Republicans start floating rumors that Gingrich is trying to avoid going after Frank because Frank and his people were. Because Frank and his people were threatening to name all the closeted gays in Congress in both parties. So they're saying that. Yeah, so. So there's a lot of gay members of Congress that are in the closet. And Frank's. And Frank's like, if you come after me, I'll fucking out all you Republican hypocrites. Because a Democrat is fine. Because they're not. You know, they're not passing laws to fuck with gay people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

But anytime a Republican is gay, they should be outed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

And then burned alive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because they're Republican.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. Not because they're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because they're legislative.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't. Because they're gay. Because they're Republican. Come on. We only burn Republicans alive. You guys. My God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry. I'm going to. I'm going to stop you. Why does it sound like every person in the audience also has a microphone?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, guess what? They used to build theaters better. That's why. Gareth. So Gingrich eventually wins, and Frank was just censored for Fixing parking tickets for the escort.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For fixing parking tickets.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he got. He got him out of parking tickets. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. Pay for the fucking escorts. Parking tickets. Also, I'd be like, look, just park closer to where I live, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Just fucking park where it's legal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I saved you a sp. I said, park me in. You can park behind my car.

[Dave Anthony]

But Larry Craig's final vote was for more punishment. So he was like, I'm not gay. Just can't stop. So after four terms in the House, he runs for the Senate in 1989. Now he's all about passing a balanced budget amendment, but was also very opposed to tax increases. He's into guns and digging up minerals and getting more oil and logging the forest. 61% of the vote, he wins. You guys love that here. What the. And now he is a senator. The Idaho Statesman asked Larry about an allegation that he was gay made by his opponent in the Senate race. And Larry said, quote, why don't you ask my wife who I am? Fucking ask my wife if I give her dick all the time, huh? Mr. Paperman?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ask my wife.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, that's what he's saying, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's amazing. It's just he's. Oh, fuck.

[Dave Anthony]

And look, he's a classic Republican. In 1991, he blamed environmentalists for causing the Exxon Valdez oil spill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, to be fair, I mean, think about it.

[Dave Anthony]

If they hadn't stopped all the precious pipelines, then they wouldn't have to use ships. Duh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, if it's an oil company's fault, why wasn't the vessel named after an oil company?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know what he's talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the fuck is happening tonight? Is this. Are you just people from the audience? Are we that. Are we that available to be murdered on stage?

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you. The best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, have you. This is how Caesar dies.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay? Number one, you are not Caesar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop it.

[Dave Anthony]

You're nothing like Caesar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they all keep going back to that portal back there.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, continue. No, it's too long. We're not gonna read it. I'm going to gut you like a pig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what? We're gonna set that precedent, that if someone comes on stage and gives us a letter, we read it like Santa. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Good instincts.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote, had the environmentalists let a pipeline be built, there would never have been a chance for a drunken captain to get his hands on that oil.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I forgot. He was Dr. Drunk. He's that drunk, he's ripped. Yeah, well, now, I mean, I'M not so mad at him.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I know you feel sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was just a little greased up.

[Dave Anthony]

Wanted to have a nip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's out there nipping.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry said he preferred the US Drill for. US Drill for. For oil in Alaska's National Wildlife Refuge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he'd rather do that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Than men.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But didn't the exit. The Exxon guy came out and he was like, I never drank. I never had a drink in my life. Yeah, I'll take a lie detector about it. I'm not drunk. I am. If I'm so drunk as this half drunk bottle of Jim Beam. If I drink it. Exactly.

[Dave Anthony]

Look at all those birds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where. That's the first time when I was like, wait, what's.

[Dave Anthony]

I was like, what are we doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's going on? And they were like, we're trying to clean the oil off of all these birds. And you're like, is this a good thing? We're.

[Dave Anthony]

Better than solar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And that's why Don now has ducks on their. Their packaging, because they're just. Yeah, yeah. That's where it started. Don. Don was like. For a while, Don was like, where the oil spill. Dishwashing liquid. And everyone was like, okay. And then that transferred to two ducks are now on their bottle. And you're like, why are there two ducks? It's like, well, when we completely ruin the oceans, Don really gets the grease out.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, right? What are your plastic bottles made out of?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ducks.

[Dave Anthony]

So the Idaho Democratic senator responded this and said Craig's logic was twisted. But then he immediately praised Larry for working to get the lower Salmon river federally protected. Because that's a Democrat. They can't just go, no, he's fucking crazy. They got to go, he's crazy. But one time, he helped a river. Larry strongly opposed prohibiting job discrimination against gays and strongly opposed expanding hate crime legislation to include crimes against gays. And strongly supported legislation and a constitutional amendment to prohibit same sex marriage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ugh. Yeah. I mean, the manifestation of thou doth protest too much.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1995, at New Hampshire Senator Bob Smith's birthday party, four senators sang Happy Birthday. And when they were asked to sing at another event, one said no. And Larry stepped in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Oh, my God. And he's with fucking John Ashcroft, who sang that, like, wrote the song about the eagle. Oh, the threesome here. Oh, hi, everybody. We're the Totally Unfuckables. We're here to give you tonight a rendition. This is gonna be unbelievable. Suggs called. I'm not gay. I've never been gay, and I don't even know what it is.

[Dave Anthony]

Trent Lott said he formed the singing group to improve relations between Right. And moderate Republicans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. We want to cover the spectrum of complete total fascist lunacy to. Pretty bad.

[Dave Anthony]

They were called the Singing Senators.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fuck me.

[Dave Anthony]

They sang Elvira at a Kennedy center fundraiser.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

Is that Elvira?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Is that real Elvira?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, how does it go?

[Dave Anthony]

See if I can pull it up here. I mean, I can't sing it for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You, but I would love for you to sing it. I don't think this thing is loud enough. I'm not hearing myself enough.

[C]

You're a Westerner. This is called a country western song.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so it's already an old man who can't hear. That's how this started. Was an old man going, I can't hear in my. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, we're gonna. Elvira here.

[Dave Anthony]

My heart's on fire Elvira.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's pretty good. She's got eyes that look like diamonds.

[C]

Lips like cherry wine that girl sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Enough make my little heart shy I.

[C]

Got a funny feeling up and down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My spine Because I know that my elmire is mine and I'm singing I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. Oh, my God. End it. It's pretty good. It is pretty good. It makes me think of how, like Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries should start something.

[Dave Anthony]

A poetry jam.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, they should go singing. It'd be great. That was pretty good. I'm not gonna lie. I mean, aside from everything else outside of there, that was okay. It's a shame. They're human demons.

[Dave Anthony]

So that was. That was Elvira at the Kennedy center, which was at a fundraiser, which was put on by Ray Ivey of Consolidated Natural Gas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's not fun anymore.

[Dave Anthony]

They perform with the Oak Ridge Boys in Branson, Missouri.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Dave Anthony]

So they're, you know, his life is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great, Things are good. Things are good.

[Dave Anthony]

In 1996, they sang at the Republican convention. In 1998, they released an album called Let Freedom Sing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, this freedom shit. The fuck are you talking about?

[Dave Anthony]

But when Bush became president, Ashcroft became Attorney General. So he group in 2001, so the group ended.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Ashcroft. Oh, they ended. The Ashcroft. Was that good?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Gareth. We are brought to you by Mint Mobile. And with plans Starting at just 15 bucks a month, Mint Mobile is going to give you premium wireless service on the nation's largest 5G.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Say it, say it.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I don't know what the hesitancy is. It's just. Let's go.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Your friends are sweating over data outages and surprise charges and you'll just be hanging out, just counting the money. Counting your sweet, sweet cash.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

We want you to toss out, get rid of your overpriced wireless, plan, the crazy, insane bill and unexpected overage and. And use Mint Mobile. It's going to save you. It's going to rescue your sweet, sweet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I think it's like the lottery. If you switch to Mint Mobile, you don't want to tell too many people because they're going to know that you got some extra cash in the pocket. You know what I mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just switch to Mint Mobile and vanish.

[Dave Anthony]

I have been using Mint Mobile. It's great. Yeah, it works perfectly. Zero issues.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's issues with the phone and the wireless. You personally, I'm a problem. You have more issues than people.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And people should do it because it's like, why are you. You're just throwing money away. You're literally just throwing money away. And it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a step. I think you're right.

[Dave Anthony]

The wireless service, it's quality. It's the same as my old provider.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you lose your number, Right? You can't take your number with you.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you take your number, Gareth. Everything's the same. Yeah, you take your number. There's no reason not to do it is what we're saying. I was paying like it was like 90amonth on my old bill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was less than what? Yeah, I was over 100.

[Dave Anthony]

Now it's 15. 15's less.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

So, look, here's what we're saying. This year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank and get your summer savings and shop premium wireless [e-mail] dollop. That's mintmobile.com dollop up front. Payment of 45 for three month, 5 gigabyte plan required, which is equivalent of 15amonth new customer offer for first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. C. Mint Mobile for details.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will gladly.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth. We're also brought to you by Nutrafol. Nutrafol is. I'm going to call it a hair inspiration product. It's a. It's a sweet, sweet supplement. And what it does is it makes your hair vibrant and it feels fuller. It looks fuller.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've been going shirtless a lot more since you've been taking these because you have locks.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they're hanging low. A lot of people compare to me to Fabio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A lot of people.

[Dave Anthony]

And so I have great hair. I didn't before. I had what I would call a scrubby bush like a Brillo pad situation. And now I look like I should be a model.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think both of those are extremes and but okay, the point is that you, since you started taking it, many people have commented. Your hairdresser who's in the hair business.

[Dave Anthony]

She works in the hair business. My friends have commented. My wife has commented. People at shows have made comments.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People at shows have made comments. At the after show part you can.

[Dave Anthony]

See that my hair looks fuller and more healthy from a distance and from up close. That's what we're, that's what we're saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You may have heard of Nutrival's hair growth supplements and wondered do they actually work well? That's a fair question. Many hair supplements over promise and under deliver. But Nutrival is different. As the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand is trusted by over 1.5 million people and is clinically tested deliver real results in just three to six months which I experienced is about four months for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Before people started making comments and saying look at your head, it's gorgeous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

To during it for you. You hold on to it.

[Dave Anthony]

I hold on to my own hair? Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that true that before coitus you say hold on to my hair?

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

And Dave 2025 tour dates in October. We're going to be on the Road 20 October Chicago, Cleveland the 21st Columbus the 22nd Indianapolis the 23rd Madison the 26th Milwaukee the 27th. Now let me say this Dave. I'm from Milwaukee and all we ever get told when we go to Milwaukee is eh, people aren't buying. You know how personal that is. We go to San Francisco, the turn out for you. We go to Milwaukee, nobody cares. Milwaukee. We're calling you out. October thanks Dave October 28th Minneapolis, Kansas City October 29th and then the 30th Denver, Colorado dollop podcast.com let me ask you a question.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you know which best selling water toy was invented in a NASA engineers bathroom or which Taco Bell innovation involved a literal paint sprayer to coat taco shells in Dorito dust?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yum.

[Dave Anthony]

And did you know that Levi's jeans wouldn't exist without the California Gold Rush? I know, it's all nuts. These are just a few of the really weird and wild true stories featured on the Best Idea yet, which is a podcast all about the surprising origin stories behind the products that you love and are obsessed with and can't stop using and eating. From the Happy Meal to Google Maps to good old Costco Kirkland brand, each episode unpacks how these icons went viral and thanks to a whole lot of trial, error and awesomeness. So if you love learning about how stuff works, who made it, and why on earth it caught on, follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Let me ask you a question. Do you know which best selling water toy was invented in a NASA engineer's bathroom? Or which Taco Bell innovation involved a literal paint sprayer to coat taco shells in Dorito dust?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yum.

[Dave Anthony]

And did you know that Levi's jeans wouldn't exist without the California Gold Rush? I know, it's all nuts. These are just a few of the really weird and wild true stories featured on the Best Idea yet, which is a podcast all about the surprising origin stories behind the products that you love and are obsessed with and can't stop using and eating. From the Happy Meal to Google Maps to good old Costco Kirkland brand, each episode unpacks how these icons went viral and thanks to a whole lot of trial, error and awesomeness. So if you love learning about how stuff works, who made it, and why on earth it caught on, follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Before Bush became president, Bill Clinton was consumed by The Monica Lewinsky scandal in which he got blowjobs from an intern and once put a cigar in her vagina, removed it, put it in his mouth and said, quote, it tastes good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, our hero Democrats. It's like, I didn't put a cigar in her pussy. Just ask my wife. How could I be a sexual assaulter? I'm married. It's impossible.

[Dave Anthony]

He was 49. She was 22.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, man. But I bet he was really empathetic and really counseled her through it and did. And that the media didn't ruin her. Or Jay Leno.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, he didn't put it in the thing. Okay. So obviously this consumes everything. Republicans are trying to impeach Clinton. It's led by Gingrich, who at the time is having an affair with Calista Bissick, a House aide, and told his wife he wanted an open marriage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And didn't he leave his wife on her deathbed?

[Dave Anthony]

No, I think that was the first wife he did that to. Not this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, right. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He said to his wife, quote, you want me all to yourself? Calista doesn't care what I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The idea that he, like, I need to be able to play the field.

[Dave Anthony]

Look at me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at all that cum I have stored in my torso. Call me NASA, because I'm gonna be shooting rockets all over dc. The idea that this man leaves anyone is shocking, Let alone because the new woman will let him fuck others.

[Dave Anthony]

It's not fair to keep that to yourself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God. God made so much of me to spread around.

[Dave Anthony]

Jesus. So their affair was well known in the House for years. Everybody knew. So now he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, now he's telling us. After Clinton, which, again, he's no hero, obviously.

[Dave Anthony]

No, they're both awful piece of shit. So then he marries Calista. Oh, and the Representative Kalista worked for was outed gay Republican Steve Gunderson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay. So what's the connection?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, just because the whole thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just that they're all good. They're all legislating against what they actually.

[Dave Anthony]

Got another level of. So Larry comes out and says, I can't find it. So he comes out and says terrible things about Clinton. He's like, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He's like. He's Ms. Kai. He's the institution of marriage. It's unchristian. It's blah, blah, blah, all that shit. Something like that.

[C]

The Senate certainly can bring about a censure resolution. And it's a slap on the wrist. It's a bad boy. Bill Clinton, you're A naughty boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a bad boy, Bill Clinton. You're a naughty. You're a bad boy, Bill. You're a naughty boy. Allow me to use that huge hand. Ah, Bill, you're such a bad boy, Bill.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me get that cigar. Ew. Tastes nasty.

[Dave Anthony]

He is clearly thinking about boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, again, not that we have to bottom line the idea that who could give a fuck be gay? Who gives a fuck?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't want to. I don't know what.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not you. Not you.

[Dave Anthony]

No. But I'm just gay. Like, I don't have to be gay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But watching. Watching this play out over decades in public is torturous.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're just like you.

[Dave Anthony]

He's raised.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a farmer. I know he can't be gay.

[Dave Anthony]

I get. He's a farmer. He can't be gay. But like, he's raised very religious and that's what this comes down to, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's wrong.

[Dave Anthony]

Y. Methodist. Okay. So Larry got an industry partnership award by the Mining and Minerals Education foundation for his work on behalf of mining companies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice.

[Dave Anthony]

What a great senator.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That same year, he voted against a bill to extend a federal definition of hate crimes to cover sexual orientation. He took in thousands of dollars in donations from Enron. A year after 9, 11, he said there were probably Al Qaeda cells in Idaho. It's true. It's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Canada sells in Idaho.

[Dave Anthony]

It's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

Where else would they go?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you imagine? I mean, honestly, the idea that they would be here.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, it's so funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The plan is pretty simple. We'll go to one of the whitest parts of America where we will blend in perfectly at their Walgreens, at their Albertsons.

[Dave Anthony]

He was opposed to Iraq at first, and then he came around saying, quote, saddam himself is a weapon of mass destruction. A review of the weapons issue is fine, but not the continued haranguing from war critics who underestimated the prospects for success in Iraq.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Crip. Well, we've been eating a lot of crow. Anti bigot. Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

In both 2004 and 2006, Larry co sponsored constitutional amendments to ban same sex marriage. Both failed. In September 2006, a gay man said he was in a men's restroom at the Denver airport when a man in the next stall moved his hand slowly, palm up under the divider. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Which we all know is the universal sign for toilet paper.

[Dave Anthony]

Freaked out. The man waited outside the restroom and recognized the palm upper when he came out. It was Senator Larry Craig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Wait, didn't he. Was this. Is there another incident after this?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. By the way, imagine go cruising at the Denver airport. Like, I've been to the Denver airport. The last place you want to see what's going on in anyone's pants is the airport. Disagree sounds coming out of the Denver Airport men's room.

[Dave Anthony]

So hot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The amount of times where I've been like, oh, my God, the shit line at the men's room at the Denver airport.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't go in there and not get. Every time I go in there, hard as a rock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could. There should be a line of women who want to remain celibate. Straight women who want to remain celibate at the Denver airport and just shove them in there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And just watch the men waiting. Like, are you almost done shitting?

[Dave Anthony]

It's so hot. It smells like. It smells like farts inside of urine. It's just sex. Pure sex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just cattle. And he's there like, you want to fuck.

[Dave Anthony]

In 2006, Trent Lott and Craig announced they were putting the Singing Senators quartet back together. Fuck, yeah. They had two really solid prospects. Senator Bennett and Senator Thune. Larry quotes Senator Thune has a lovely tenor voice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mm. Beautiful mouth.

[Dave Anthony]

Mm, mm, mm. So around this time, there is a gay blogger named Mike Rogers. His blog was called Blogged Active, and he outed closeted Republicans who voted against gay rights.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Dave Anthony]

So Rogers went on the Ed Schultz show. The radio show, and claimed Larry had gay encounters and accused him of gross hypocrisy. Quote, without a doubt. In my mind, I am absolutely solid about the sources. The greatest defense against libel and slander is the truth. So he says. He's done extensive research, and he's taken trips to the Pacific Northwest, and he's interviewed men who said they had sex with Larry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But did they talk to his wife? He has a wife. You know, that means you can't be gay. Good for him. By the way, on the Ed Schultz radio show, Ed Schultz hosted a show on MSNBC that was canceled when he talked about how going into Iraq was a bad idea.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. Way to bum everybody out. So he also said he met a guy in D.C. who said the same thing, and a guy said he'd had sex with Larry in the bathrooms at DC's Union Station.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. It's worse than the Denver airport.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry staff said Larry. Larry staff said Larry is married. And the accusations have no basis in fact. He's married.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He took a fucking lie detector. No, no, no. Hold on a minute. I bet. Now just because I bet there's some people listening who are saying he could be hiding the fact that he's having a gay lifestyle outside of his marriage. No, he can't, because we said so.

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he made a promise.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To a woman who's in hell. And once a year on the anniversary, Larry gets some sort of secret injection into his ball bag so that his penis will stay hard for eight minutes. And he fake orgasms inside of this poor lady. He's not gay.

[Dave Anthony]

And he married a briefcase.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A woman. A Mary. He's married to a woman. Fuck. He's married to a woman. For the love of God. It's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

The Idaho Statesman then began an investigation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, for God's sake, he's married.

[Dave Anthony]

About this time on the congressional website called Congress Cooks, Larry unveiled the famous Idaho super tuber recipe. Take a whole Idaho potato and core it. Then slide an entire hot dog into the wet, moist hole from the back and bake it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy likes hot dogs too much. I mean, he's just. He's crying to be outed.

[Dave Anthony]

In May 2007, after several months of investigation, questioning 300 people, the Idaho State Statesman sat down with Larry and his wife and asked Larry if he had been doing it with dudes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm married.

[Dave Anthony]

He told the paper he had never had sex with a man. And you know, his wife's right there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So comfortable for her.

[Dave Anthony]

He said, quote, I've been In this business 27 years in the public eye here. I don't go around hitting on men. And by God, if I did, I wouldn't do it in Boise, Idaho. Jiminy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wouldn't do it in Boise. I'd do it in Manzi.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm not gonna fuck here. I'm gonna fuck at some weird airport or something. I wouldn't do it here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd do it in the Denver airport and put my hand under the stall like a popper begging for pecker.

[Dave Anthony]

Terminal 3. Terminal 3.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By outside the Delta good Lord desk.

[Dave Anthony]

If a man drinks at the water fountain for 30 seconds or more and goes in the bathroom, then maybe you go in and follow him in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me ask you this. If you suck a man's dick and picture it as your wife, is that gay? I didn't think so. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to prep for tuber month. I do mouth kegels. Oh, stop it. Disgusting.

[Dave Anthony]

So now Larry plays.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet he does.

[Dave Anthony]

Sorry. The Statesman plays an audio recording of a man describing having sex with Larry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was really bad because he kept saying, this isn't gay.

[Dave Anthony]

The man was a Republican who said they did blowjobs in bathrooms.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like the way you. That's like how 8 year old me would say it. Those guys did blowjobs in bathrooms. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

As the recording played, Larry's wife teared up and said, quote, I'm incensed that you would even consider such a piece of trash as a credible source. And then Larry yelled, jiminy. God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy's gotta stop saying Jiminy so fuckin much. Jiminy. Jiminy. I'm bringing it back.

[Dave Anthony]

In June 2007, Larry had been in the Senate for 18 years. Ashcroft, Larry and Lott put on a performance of the Singing Senators.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And was Santorum one of them?

[Dave Anthony]

No, Larry said, it's now a trio. Lott often compared being gay to alcoholism, kleptomania, and sexual addiction. So that's one of the guys in his singing group. On June 11, Larry was flying from D.C. to Idaho and had his stopover at the Minneapolis airport.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love a laid over.

[Dave Anthony]

He stopped. He stopped to drop a deuce in a bathroom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did he?

[Dave Anthony]

But before he went in the stall, as we do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And ladies don't know this, but you're in a male bathroom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You stop and you look through the crack of the stall next to yours for about two minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And I, I don't know where you're going, but allow me to jump in. And we like to look at it. And if you're in there, you like it. When people see you like that. That's. It's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

We.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whether you're the showman or the one watching the performance, both are awesome. It's.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You at your best moment. And whenever you see that little eyeball go up there, like, it's a retinal scan. It's awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you go like now. And someone's like, oh, sorry. And you're like, it's fine. That's cool.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we do. We do a scan. Go ahead. It's called a man scan. Go ahead.

[Dave Anthony]

Then he went into the stall next door and sat down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And by the way, just to be clear, if there's other empty stalls, you still want to go as close to the other fella doing the stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very important that you kind of. We call it the buddy system in there. And it's not crazy to be a little chatty with your bud.

[Dave Anthony]

Your colons will sink up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know. And I don't know if Women know, but it's based on the moon.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's right. So he taps his foot several times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, he's again, he's a showman. He's a music man. He's probably thinking of Elvira.

[Dave Anthony]

And the man in the other stall would later say, quote, I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to be using the restroom for its intended use.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way. That's a great way of putting it. There were other people in there doing what they thought. Doing what we are used to doing in there. And then one guy who had a different agenda, so. So he's in the bathroom. The men are making regular man noises.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then locker room talk.

[Dave Anthony]

He bumps feet with the man in the next stall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Which happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like the kid in Play.

[Dave Anthony]

That's just like standard bathroom stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyway, they're tapping feet, which I love. I do that sometimes though. Another guy in a stall.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, hold on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just like a foot five. It's fine. You're like, hey, cool. Hey, nice shitting over there. And that guy's like, hey man, you'll start shitting soon. That's awesome. And you're like, thanks, brother, that means a lot to me right now. Hey man, I heard that thing flush. Are you done? No, man, it just went off on its own. I dropped my phone and I had to pick it up and that thing thought I was done. Hey man, hang in there. Make sure to wet your butt cheeks. Cause they might be wet now. That's a really good point, my man.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so Larry bumps feet with the guy in the next stall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this who you named your dog after?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And then, and then he swipes his hand under the stall like he did in Denver.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But he keeps picking ones without any tp.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, this is. Yeah, this is just. I need toilet paper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got any tp?

[Dave Anthony]

And then he does it again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Got any tp?

[Dave Anthony]

And then he does it a third time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on, man, I need some tp.

[Dave Anthony]

This is just normal stuff. And then Larry said, quote, next thing I knew, under the bathroom divider comes a card that says police. And Larry yelled, no, Jiminy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I gotta tell you, look, I'm not pro law enforcement, but the under the stall badge drop.

[Dave Anthony]

It's pretty great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fucking awesome. Just they let him do three swipes too, like, yeah, keep going, motherfucker.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then be like, oh, I get it. Uh huh. And he's like, am I about to suck a cop's dick?

[Dave Anthony]

Tell me you're in the ymca. Tell me you're in the ymca. Tell me your Village People guy. So he had the misfortune of bumping feet with an undercover cop who was in a toilet stall because there had been complaints of men having sex in that public restroom in the Lindbergh terminal. The police had already made 41 arrests.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want. That's fucking. All right. I got a couple things. First of all, there is a forum.

[Dave Anthony]

There is an Internet forum that's like, go to fucking stall four in the Lindbergh terminal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, the idea that he probably picked that layover to be like, that's the best place. And then they were probably like. The flight, like, the travel agent was like, oh, we have a layover of an hour. He's like, is anything like six, seven hours, you got anything? Like, I'll hang out there? But on top of that, fucking shout out to anyone who works undercover sitting in an airport shitter all day. Like, they must have, like, had one of those ceremonies where that dude got some medal and he, like, walked out like.

[Dave Anthony]

What'S going on there with your leg?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unfortunately, my leg doesn't work. I had to sit 20 hours one day in the Linkberg terminal in Minneapolis, bumping feet with people who work in government legislating against their own personal interests because they've been taken into a neo fatigue fascist cult, pretending that that's the only way to survive.

[Dave Anthony]

He was taken to the airport police station.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also hilarious.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry, APD Larry handed the cop his US Senator business card and said, quote, what do you think about that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're a real fucking prick for saying that you don't like gay people.

[Dave Anthony]

The cop just was. The cop just asked for his driver's license and told him he could plead guilty and go home or plead not guilty and deal with what comes. Oh, so he was charged with peeping and disorderly conduct, a gross misdemeanor. Very gross. Very gross.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at his flag pin. So can we get rid of the flag pin now?

[Dave Anthony]

That's how I know to fuck him. He was photographed, fingerprinted and released, and he went about his way back home to his wife, back to his life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wonder when he told her.

[Dave Anthony]

On June 22, probably on the return flight, he came back to the airport police station to complain about the way he was treated.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I might be in the bathroom for a little while.

[Dave Anthony]

And he said he wanted information from them for his lawyer. And on August 1st, Larry signed and mailed a guilty plea and paid a $575 fine, which, by the way, for whatever they're okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You're a senator.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Part of the plea stated that he was not innocent. So he has to say, I'm definitely guilty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Dave Anthony]

And on August 27, Roll Call published a story about Larry's arrest. The next day, the Idaho statements dropped the results of their gay Larry investigation. It included the dude from the fraternity, a guy who said Larry cruised him at the Boise REI in 1994.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boise. Who knew that was such a hotbed? You need a spotter. Anyone need a spotter? Just putting chalk on his hand. Mm.

[Dave Anthony]

He said Larry followed him around REI for about 30 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. That's fucking crazy. Like, you're looking at canoes.

[Dave Anthony]

You're looking at canoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What's that?

[Dave Anthony]

You like canoes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

You want to get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Dave Anthony]

You want to get a canoe? You want a bicycle?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't need. Do you work here?

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No, I'm good. I'm figuring out what I need. I'll.

[Dave Anthony]

If I need camping, you gotta go camping. You want to go camping equipment? You want to check out camping equipment?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what. I'm curious.

[Dave Anthony]

What is your tent here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is your role here at rei?

[Dave Anthony]

See if it's comfortable. See if you can sleep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't need a tent. I'm not here for a tent. What is your role here at rei?

[Dave Anthony]

Hi. You know what my role is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Blue eyes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm good, dude. I'm just shopping. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, you're good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've been following me for 30 minutes around REI. Like, that's crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

You want to go to the airport?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why would I go to the airport? I'm in a fucking rei.

[Dave Anthony]

Just saying. Airport's pretty hot right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just gonna. I'm looking for an analogy.

[Dave Anthony]

You go to the bathroom ever?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean? What is your question?

[Dave Anthony]

Just asking you the. You ever go to, what, airport bathrooms?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. No, I don't travel a lot. No. I'm here for rock climbing, so I'm gonna get out of here. Leave me alone. For real rei, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Just saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you just say rei?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So do you work here?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know. Do I?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why do you keep saying rei?

[Dave Anthony]

Maybe I. Maybe I work here in some.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you work here? I'll tell you what, you don't look like you work here because you're wearing a fucking suit with a flag pin, so I don't think you do work here.

[Dave Anthony]

Should I put the polo up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put the pole up?

[Dave Anthony]

Flip the flag over so the pole's up. Should I put it Up What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like you're mailing something.

[Dave Anthony]

The staff. The hard part of the flag. Should I put it up? Should I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you one thing. Yeah, this is the weirdest REI I've ever been to.

[Dave Anthony]

There was also a 40 year old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I'll check out the 10.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Also the 40 year old Republican who said he had sex at DC's Union Station. So that day, Larry holds a press conference.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hilarious. Jesus Christ. This dude needs to stop being on record. Hey, Larry. Less is more if he just sang. Elvira, Elvira, Elvira. Where's Trent Lott? Where are my friends?

[C]

Thank you all very much for coming out today. Read a statement. First, please let me apologize to my family, friends and staff and fellow Idahoans for the cloud placed over Idaho.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The cloud he got over Idaho.

[Dave Anthony]

Why would he. Why would he. Can you guys hear it at all?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you can be good. Kind of.

[Dave Anthony]

Why would you apologize for. But you didn't do anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I think it's because he was entrapped.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so he's brought a lot of negativity because of all this gay stuff that he's not involved in.

[C]

At the Minneapolis airport. I did nothing wrong, and I regret the decision to plead guilty and the sadness that decision has brought on my wife, my family, friends, staff, and fellow Idahoans. And for that I apologize. In June, I overreacted and made a poor decision. While I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct at the Minneapolis airport or anywhere else, I chose to plead guilty to a lesser charge in hopes of making it go away. I did not seek any counsel, either from an attorney, staff, friends, or family. That was a mistake and I deeply regret it. Because of that, I have now retained counsel and I am asking counsel to review this matter and to advise me on how to proceed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, you know who, you know. Here's the thing. He opens it by saying he did nothing wrong. And you know who agrees that he did nothing wrong are your friends on the left. Larry, we agree you didn't do anything. Maybe you're cruising in a bath, but there are people who accept you for you. You just refuse to join the people who actually will give you empathy. And you decide to stick in your fucking weirdo cult and pretend your whole life is something that you're not.

[Dave Anthony]

So he goes on to blame the Idaho state statesman for relentlessly and viciously harassing him. And he ended by saying, quote, I am not gay and never have been gay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is iconic. I remember that one. I'm not gay. I never have been gay. Like, one of them will work. Larry, I'm not gay. I never have been gay. I never tried gay. I've never been with a gay. I'm not a gay.

[Dave Anthony]

But he now has to step down as a senator liaison with Mitt Romney's presidential campaign. Mitt said, quote, he's disappointed the American.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People, which is also.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry. Yeah, you know, but Larry, I know they're fucking. That's who they are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Didn't. I don't want to ruin anything, but didn't he have an excuse for why he was. Didn't he say, we'll get there, okay?

[Dave Anthony]

Larry would later say Mitt threw him under his campaign bus and, quote, backed up and ran over me again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you'd still rather be that than the dog he left on the roof for six hours driving through the mountains.

[Dave Anthony]

The Statesman called for him to resign. The Minneapolis airport cops then released the audio of his interview. And that made the story go fucking crazy. One big reason being that during the interview, Larry said when he shit, he had a wide stance to keep his pants from falling down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a wide stance, which may.

[Dave Anthony]

Have been like, he's at the fucking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Combine, like he's a training camp. I have a wide stance. I have a wide, wide stance. When going to the bathroom, what are you. I mean, the idea. Yeah, I gotta. I'm launching. I. I sort of. I really.

[Dave Anthony]

When I go to the bathroom, it's like this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Mostly I. I either. I call it.

[Dave Anthony]

I call it the bird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do. I do a wide chaplain or sometimes I do the catcher. You ever. How do you don't do the catcher? Not in that way. I have a wide stance. I do what they call sumoing.

[Dave Anthony]

So some Republicans now start turning on him and saying he should resign. McCain, Susan Collins. But Arlen Specter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I'm not sure if he should resign.

[Dave Anthony]

Arlen Spector said he should withdraw the guilty plea and fight it. McConnell and Lott asked him to step down as the top Republican in three committees, which he did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. So stay in the party. Just don't be.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. On September 1st, he held another press conference and said he would resign as of September 30th. What year this is? 2006, I think. Okay, maybe seven. But on September 10th, his lawyers filed a motion to withdraw his guilty plea, saying it was, quote, not knowing and intelligent and therefore was in violation of his constitutional rights. So the New York Times is now running headlines about Republicans who are saying they're disowning him. They're, like, done with him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For those of you listening? The signs read. It's 12:15pm do you know which stall your senator's in? Craig is a nasty, naughty boy. And Craig is not gay. He's a pervert.

[Dave Anthony]

The late night shows and other shows made endless jokes about Larry's wide stance. Larry got two of his kids to go on, well, adopted kids on ABC's Good Morning America. And they said their dad isn't gay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is fucking child abuse.

[Dave Anthony]

That's how you know they're adults now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's still child abuse. Making your kid your kid. My dad has never jerked a guy off. What I can't say about a Hail Mary. Yeah, I mean, honestly.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Imagine like if you, if your dad was like, will you tell these people that I'm not gay? All right. I feel like it's possible that, okay, if they get.

[Dave Anthony]

What if they start grilling me like how do you know he's not gay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because my dad, my dad begs the out of my mom. I hear it, I hear it the whole time. He's talking, he's telling her to change. He's. He's a alpha in there, dude. Trust me, dude, there's no buy. At most.

[Dave Anthony]

So his son, Michael Craig said his dad was a victim of circumstance who was in the wrong place at the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wrong time over and over again.

[Dave Anthony]

And the two kids said they sat down with their dad and he told them the truth and looked him in the eye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Looked him in the eye. Yep. That's how you Michael.

[Dave Anthony]

Now probably not a great character witness because two women had restraining orders against him. One for breaking a woman's nose and he was once charged with statutory rape. Larry's other kid, Shay, had a warrant out for her arrest for breaking into her ex husband's house and destroying his property.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, look that look. What does that prove? Besides their character is completely in question. You're being pretty unfair, my guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Then Larry and his wife had to issue a statement to ABC News, quote, let her stop. Senator Craig and his wife said raising children in their teens and as they become adults is never an easy task. Few people have gone through life without a few bumps. So now he's throwing his kids into like he's just ruined his kids lives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy's truly. This is what's crazy. This guy's in charge of like government strategy and all he's doing is screaming without out words actions that he's gay. And then making his. Throwing his kids under the bus. Yeah, Michael broke a woman's nose. But okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Dave Anthony]

Kids Go through a few bumps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The kids go, it's a couple bumps. Okay. We've all been there.

[Dave Anthony]

But the scandal helped salmon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Helped what?

[Dave Anthony]

Salmon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Salmon.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry was a very powerful politician who backed big oil and Big Timber. And leaving the committees left a void. So Democrats are able to push legislation to preserve endangered salmon. That's why the world is dying. The Minneapolis airport announced the bathroom where Larry was arrested would get stall partitions down to the floor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, that's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the best thing he got done in Congress and Senate. That is a way better experience. And some places they ended up putting, like, little ways to cover the little slit there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is the best.

[Dave Anthony]

Because I know how to pop it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I know. I definitely. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

But that was because the bathroom had become a tourist destination. A common question at the information counter at the airport was, quote, can you please tell me where the Larry Craig bathroom is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to visit it.

[Dave Anthony]

But. Okay, so here's my question, though. So how are you. How are you having sex in there? Like, is one guy getting up on the toilet and the. But then the other guy. So the other guy. Is he supposed to look like he's peeing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Actually, I will tell you, somebody really knows. Oh, I know. My gay hairdresser buddy told me one time about a Macy's that was a total cruising destination. And what he said was that you would buy something cheap and get a big bag, and you'd get two big bags, and then you'd put your feet in the bags. So if someone looked under, they'd just see two bags and both sets of feet were in the bags.

[Dave Anthony]

To which I said, genius.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why the gays should be running everything and not.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And not these gays. That's genius. The real genius. Genius. He was like, you buy a fucking pair of socks, he's like, you get two. He's like, you're up there bank fucking in. Because they were looking. So if anyone looks in there, they're like, oh, those bags are just shuffling around a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, that Macy's bag is squirting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guy's really enjoying what he's trying on in there.

[Dave Anthony]

But, yeah. Cause you can moan because you might be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're trying. I can't fit into this anymore.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, so. So the guy who ran the nearby shoeshine shop said, quote, people have been going inside taking pictures of the stall, taking pictures outside the bathroom door, man. It's been crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's also horrible. If you don't know about that. And you just sit there dropping a deuce, and you're like, all right, now do one of me saying cheese. Hey, no. Hey, no.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, Fuck. So on September 26th, after officially filing his motion to withdraw the guilty plea, Larry said he would not resign and would wait for the court's judgment. A week later, the judge denied it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, now I'm out of here.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry then said he's still not going to resign and would serve out his term and then retire because he had to clear his name in the Senate. And the only way to do that is to remain in the Senate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think that tonight is good proof that that did happen. Yes, his name was definitely cleared.

[Dave Anthony]

He also appealed to the Minnesota Court of Appeals. In December, the Statesman reported, eight men said they'd have had sex with Larry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. Is eight men in. This is why. This is truly. This is why. His strategy is unbelievably stupid in all this. He's like, I will clear my name by making you never forget about what my name is associated with.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I mean, he made it worse. The longer he stayed in, the more attention it was and the more so. One was an ex sex worker, Mike Jones, who had. He's the guy who took down the Reverend Ted Haggard. Larry paid him $2 for a bang.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Denver, by the by.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, but it was years ago. We've had inflation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There was probably a lot of inflation that night.

[Dave Anthony]

Another was an Idaho Republican who was an IT guy and a bear. He met Larry at a D.C. strip club, and they went back to a house on Capitol Hill, and Larry took off his suit coat and then blew the guy. And then the guy blew Larry. And then Larry left the room and came back with condoms and lube. And then they had anal sex. And then Larry became agitated, quote, after the sex. He just wanted me to get out of there. Larry put $20 in my pocket and said, quote, quote, I can buy and sell your ass a thousand times over. You were never here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

You were never here. That's alpha, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's some who's. Who's the dad in that pillow talk.

[Dave Anthony]

$20. Yeah, you, buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Why can't he just say why? Why can't he just say he has to get up early in the morning like everybody? I mean, yeah, you could.

[Dave Anthony]

You could also just be like, hey, man, man, I'm a. I'm a center. Can you not tell people about this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I could buy and sell you.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's 20 bucks, motherfucker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But there is probably some weird. He's probably got some. It has to be so distorted at this point, what he's going through when he's fucking. Yeah, like, he's probably just like, I'm a big, brave straight man now. And the guy's like, bro, what the fuck? We just sucked each other. What are you talking about? No, you get out of here. My wife will tell you I'm not, not gay. Like, I see your cum still.

[Dave Anthony]

Senator, I can see your cum still.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not mine. This is all a trap. I, I, I have a wide loogie. I'm crazy. And that's why we donate him public.

[Dave Anthony]

The paper reported a lawyer for one of the pages. Okay, so now we're back to the 1982.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Where he first flipped out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where he freaked out.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's why. So the lawyer of that page now said Larry was named by his client and was in a December 1982 health ethics committee report as Congressman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See? But nobody knows who the fuck Congressman.

[Dave Anthony]

C is because they're keeping him anonymous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At that time, even in, in the internal investigation. Is he. So nobody knows his name?

[Dave Anthony]

No, the House Ethics Reporting Committee is only reporting him as Congressman C. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he has no. So he's just completely fucking freaked out.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So he flipped out for. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, he was named. Like, he was told he was named, but nobody else did. And then he was like, I will take a polygraph. And they're like, like, are you Congressman C? And he's like, that's cuckoo. I'm married. Soon.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote, Williams said he had sex with him two or three times. I can't remember. Two or three.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I get that good.

[Dave Anthony]

The Statesman compared travel records and sex times, and it all synced up. So they.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love sex times.

[Dave Anthony]

So the, so the, so the guy's like, I fucked him in an airport bathroom. And then they're like, let me see your travel. And they show him the travel records. And then they would look at Larry's travel records and they were there at the same time. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So fucking funny.

[Dave Anthony]

That's when you're like, that's why I'm a reporter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Checking boarding passes like this. Their layovers matched. Some really hero shit.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry said this Statesman had lowered itself to tabloid journalism. And then he had a college girlfriend, but. But he wouldn't name her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But even if he did, that's all he does. I was with a woman. A woman was in the room.

[Dave Anthony]

In February 2008, the Senate Ethics Committee admonished Larry for improper conduct in trying to evade legal consequences. On top of the Gay stuff. He used campaign funds to pay his legal fees. And you could only use campaign funds to pay legal fees if they are official senator duties. And most of the 200,000 had gone to the appeal. So in November, it was announced the defense fund Larry had set up six months earlier had only raised $4,645.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Too much. Still.

[Dave Anthony]

The St. Louis Saints, a minor league baseball team in Minnesota, announced Larry Craig Bobble. Footnote.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I take it I'm gonna add an addendum to my pitch of gays should run everything and whoever came up with that.

[Dave Anthony]

Quote. The keepsakes consist of a miniature bathroom stall with a couple of lower legs and feet. One of the feet is spring loaded and taps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is so fucking good.

[Dave Anthony]

Fantastic. Through all of this, the Idaho Republican Party does not call for Larry's resignation. And he retired in January 2009, when his term ended. And in 2012, the FEC sued him for misusing campaign donations. Larry argued it was official business and reimbursable because he was traveling between Idaho and D.C. quote, he cites a U.S. senate. Senate rule in which reimbursable per diem expenses include all charges for meals, lodging, hotel fans, cleaning, dressing of clothing, and bathrooms.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And bathrooms. What is he talking about? What does that even mean? What is he talking.

[Dave Anthony]

Sounds like he found a loophole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, you put that one in the middle. If you're gonna have it in there, cover your tracks a little bit better.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry was fined 45,000 and ordered to return $198,000 to Treasury. Now out of government, he starts a lobbying firm, New West Strategies. It's basically for mining companies. He keeps dipping into his old campaign funds for expenses. He gave his wife Suzanne, $1,000 a few times, using vague descriptions, which is wildly illegal. FEC rules state ex lawmakers should close down their accounts six months after leaving office. But he's far from the only one who broke that law.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Larry to this day continues to work as a lobbyist on behalf of mining interests.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was hoping he was gone.

[Dave Anthony]

The bathroom was demolished around 2015.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a shame. That is a shame.

[Dave Anthony]

In 2016, the bathroom that replaced it won the 15th annual America's Best Restroom Contest, hosted by Cintas, a company that cleans and provides supplies to bathrooms.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A happy ending, which Larry loves. Oh, my God. What a fucking piece of shit. Just. What?

[Dave Anthony]

Nothing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Redeeming, abysmal piece of shit. Outside of even all that, like the leading the double life and legislating. Even outside of that, all the ethical illegalities and lapses that just don't ever get punished. And you just. Now we are, we still deal with this. They are never actually punished for shit. And if they are, it's so rare and so small. And that's why we live in what we live in now, which is just like endless. It's a great country. Exactly. Thank you for bottom lining it. It's a great country.

[Dave Anthony]

Great country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you know, fucking. What a huge piece of shit. What an enormous piece of shit who sets. Just sets the whole movement back as far as possible. And yet he's one of the people who would benefit from the rights of it the most. Why does this guy want me to read this?

[Dave Anthony]

We're not going to read it on stage. We're not going to read it in front of people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sir, this would be a very strange thing to read.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, the sources are the Eido Statesman, the Spokesman Review, the Times News, a lot of Idaho statesman, ABC News, miningeducationfoundation.org, ktvb.com NPR News, USA Today, Fox News, CNN, Rolling Stone, Entertainment now, the Smoking Gun, towlerroad.com gainesville.com and Allison Dagnus. Sex scandals in American politics. A multidisciplinary disciplinary approach to the construction and aftermath of contemporary political sex scandals. Shorten that shit, Alison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Dave, I. We're not going to ever read anything anyone hands us on stage again, but maybe we end with this because this one might have a little bit of a value. As a 14 year old, I participated in a federally funded civics education program. It was essentially civics debate. We did competitions and as a junior in high school, we won the state of Idaho. We got paid, funded to compete in Washington D.C. against others. As the youngest team to make it to DC during our trip we got the privilege to meet senators and representatives in their D.C. capitol offices. Craig insisted on meeting our eight student team one by one, 14 to 15 year olds, allegedly alone in his D.C. office. I entered. He put his arm uncomfortably around me and told me how important it was to tell my parents to vote for him while I tried to put physical distance from him. Read this. I have a lawyer on retainer and don't really care. This should have been on the behind the bastards. That's the full truth. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that's an ending.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, have a good night everybody. Thank you for coming out. Appreciate it. What's up there, doll heads? That's right. That's who you are. It's Gareth, the one and only. You know, it's okay. Listen, I've got some stand updates. I would love to invite you to Please join me by going to garethreynolds.com youm could see me in Nashville August 5th. You can see me in Lexington, Kentucky, August 6th, Chattanooga, August 8th, August 9th. Then I'll be in Alpharetta, Georgia at Helium August 10th. Then I'll be back at Fort Collins at the Comedy Fort August 22nd, August 23rd join me for that. Then I'll be in Bozeman, Montana, September 5th and September 6th. I'll be at the Comedy Club of Kansas City September 26th, 27th. And then I will be in Columbia, Missouri, September 28th, Appleton, Wisconsin, October 1st, Chicago, October 4th, two shows. Then Fort Wayne, Indiana. After October 5th, I'm speaking. Fine. Then back to the beautiful rooster T feathers. November 6th through the 8th. Garethreynolds.com Join me, you sweet little doll heads. You're the gear force.