725 - The Possum Open Mic with Mike Bridenstine

Summary

The Dollop Podcast Episode 725 Summary

Episode Title: The Possum Open Mic with Mike Bridenstine
Date: March 17, 2026
Guests: Mike Bridenstine (comedian/author, guest narrator)

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Overview

In this unique and chaotic episode, comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds hand over the storytelling reins to guest Mike Bridenstine, who shares "the craziest thing [he's] ever heard in stand-up comedy." The story, lifted from Bridenstine's book Kansas City Comedy, recounts the notorious 2001 night when an open mic at Kansas City’s Stanford’s Comedy Club was derailed by comic Kyle Paris’s revolting, roadkill-based performance art. The episode explores the extremes of open mic comedy, the boundary between innovation and disaster, and the lasting trauma—and camaraderie—such events create in the comedy world.

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Table of Contents

• Episode Format and Set-Up
• Kyle Paris and His Props
• The Night at Stanford's: Gathering the Roadkill
• Open Mic Culture: Setting the Stage
• Kyle’s Act: Unleashing Mr. Jingles
• The Possum Catastrophe
• Club Pandemonium and Fallout
• Aftermath and Redemption
• Reflections on Comedy and Kansas City
• Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

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Episode Format and Set-Up

• [00:31–02:28] Episode opens with confusion, as Dave and Gareth have no story prepared, prompting Mike Bridenstine to step in as guest narrator:

  “This week I, Mike Bridenstine, read a story from history to you, Dave and Gareth.” (02:14)

• Bridenstine teases the story as the craziest from his book and perhaps stand-up history, setting anticipation:

  “This one you’re about to hear, I believe to be the craziest thing I've ever heard in stand-up comedy.” (03:16)

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Kyle Paris and His Props

• [03:56–04:22] Kyle Paris, an open mic comic, prepares an elaborate list of props, hinting at infamous performances:

  • Towel, dishwashing gloves, a hula hoop, vacuum cleaner, and notably, an igloo cooler lined with trash bags

• Early red flags as the gang realizes his plans involve roadkill and a cooler with no ice

  “He had a jacket and tie with his jeans instead of dress pants and loaded all his props... all in.” (04:54)

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The Night at Stanford's: Gathering the Roadkill

• [04:54–06:45] Kyle’s plan: while driving 50+ miles to Kansas City, he seeks suitable roadkill, rejecting too-mangled specimens
• Scores a possum (believing it to be a ferret), collects it with dishwashing gloves and places it in the trash-lined cooler
• Discussion on the oddity and occasional frequency of comics using bizarre props

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Open Mic Culture: Setting the Stage

• [07:26–09:24]

  • Description of Stanford’s: Tight, dank club with a ritual pre-show meeting for 25–30 comics
  • Andrea Kaspari, a new comic, is introduced, establishing witness perspectives
  • Paris’s eccentricities and reputation for "cooler bits" detailed—most notably his routine annually involving a raw turkey filled with dog/cat food and a dildo (“the D”).

  “Now I want to make sure that the dog food and cat food are deep enough inside the turkey... and then Paris, only making matters worse, would pull out a dildo and proceed to push it in and out of the turkey.” (11:25–12:10)

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Kyle’s Act: Unleashing Mr. Jingles

• [14:36–21:03]
  • Paris dons his suit, sets up his hula hoop, gloves, and is introduced to a crowded room (estimated 50 people).
  • Announces: “I’m an animal trainer... and I got a ferret with me, and we’re gonna do some tricks.” (17:50)
  • Possum (dubbed “Mr. Jingles”) is revealed after hours in a hot van, unleashing an overwhelming stench and literal heat:

    “I opened it up and the heat in that place went up like 10 degrees. I’m not even kidding.” (19:24)

  • Guests reflect on the science of decomposition and the catastrophic miscalculation of not getting ice.

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The Possum Catastrophe

• [21:03–26:31]
  • Paris pulls decomposing possum from cooler, stench hits front rows; eyes water and people gag
  • Proceeds with the “bit”:
    • Possum is made to do ‘tricks’; Paris inserts vacuum hose into its mouth, turns it on—viciously expelling noxious, corpse-laden air into the entire club

    “Cloud of stench explodes out of this thing and wafts through the comedy club... all of our orifices were being filled with dead possum blood.” (24:09)

  • Pandemonium: front rows flee, tables overturned, bathrooms fill with vomiting patrons (including a pregnant woman)
  • Comics and audience barricade themselves in the green room to escape

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Club Pandemonium and Fallout

• [26:31–38:48]
  • The club manager, Ron Miren, a “ticking time bomb of fury and anger,” explodes, bans Paris for life

    “I lost it. Then I started screaming, ‘I’m going to kill you.’” (34:00)

  • In the chaos, Paris tries to soldier on with the set (“But wait, there’s more!”), even contemplating possum tricks through the hula hoop—ultimately deciding not to

    “So there is some level of editing.” (35:00)

  • Paris is pelted with a pint glass, threatened with violence, but still closes his act by waving Mr. Jingles' paw, showing classic comic commitment.

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Aftermath and Redemption

• [38:48–56:47]

  • Paris flees with the cooler; manager bans him doggedly, instructs staff “never let Kyle Paris in here again—ever.”

  • Club spends hundreds on cleaning but stench lingers, prompting even owners to (temporarily) support a ban

    “We had to spend a few hundred dollars trying to get the smell out...I did not care.” (59:25)

  • Comics advocate for Paris; after six months, he is unbanned and returns wearing a shirt reading “No Dead Possum”

    "What a return. Holy...Good lord." (61:20)

  • Paris and Kaspari, formerly strangers, are now best friends—having “trauma bonded” through the event

---

Reflections on Comedy and Kansas City

• The story is used to illustrate the unpredictable, sometimes catastrophic brilliance (and horror) of open mic comedy
• Discusses the unique personalities who pass through clubs like Stanford’s, and the bizarre social chemistry of comics
• Mike Bridenstine describes related stories from his book—other notorious Kansas City incidents, and the formative energy of failed, risk-taking comics

---

Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

• Mike Bridenstine on the bit:

  "This is probably the four craziest stand up stories I've ever heard. And this one you're about to hear, I believe to be the craziest thing I've ever heard in standard comedy." (03:16)

• Dave Anthony on open mic carnage:

  "That's awesome. Of course, it happened really fast." (44:14)

• Gareth Reynolds on aftermath:

  "You could end comedy that evening." (48:27) "I knew there might be a chance. I just didn’t realize how horrible the smell was going to be." (53:37)

• On club manager Ron Miren:

  "I told my staff... if you ever bring Kyle Paris into this club you will never work in my club again or set foot in it." (60:06)

• Paris’s sweet postscript:

  “People came up to me and they said, 'You made me vomit. But it was awesome.'” (56:09)

• Postscript on Paris and Andrea Kaspari:

  “They call each other every day. They say I love you, and they hang...they trauma bonded together.” (64:16)

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Memorable Moments

• The relentless specificity of the setup—roadkill selection, the lack of ice, the bit-by-bit escalation
• The club devolving into literal chaos, vomiting, and threats
• The fact the show continued after Lysol dousing and open windows, stalwart comics still taking the stage
• The ultimate bonding of comics through shared traumatic experience—and Paris’s eventual, self-referential return

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Story’s Arc in a Nutshell

• From oddball prop comic setup → procedural disaster → full-blown open mic nightmare → comic banishment → folk-heroic legend.

This is a must-listen for fans of wild stand-up lore, empathy for creative disaster, and the bonds formed when things go disastrously (and hilariously) wrong.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Mike Bridenstine]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a

[Gareth Reynolds]

new highlight, a new moment you've got

[Mike Bridenstine]

to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time, scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.

[Dave Anthony]

You're listening to the Dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a goober, Gareth Reynolds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a goober who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. Is this. So I forgot the. I forgot to bring a story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have a story. What do you mean?

[Dave Anthony]

You don't just have an extra one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I. Something happened to me on the way here that was fun.

[Dave Anthony]

I think we need more than that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not necessarily. Should we try it?

[Mike Bridenstine]

You guys, I have fantastic news for you. Who are you? I'm Mike Bridenstine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Michael Bridenstine.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He just did the Pastimes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I was.

[Dave Anthony]

You were in the past?

[Mike Bridenstine]

You guys remember me from the pastime? Yeah, yeah, we had a good time. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I don't know.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I heard you guys might not have a story this week.

[Dave Anthony]

How did you know that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're in the middle of figuring it out, Mike. So we don't need you to. No, no, no.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I have a solution to the problem, Mike.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're actually in the middle of kind of figuring.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead and figure it out for a little bit. I just. Come back to me when you need something.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't know if we have any.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, go ahead. What are you gonna.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, I have a story this week. Oh, how do you have a story this week?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna read it to Dave and

[Mike Bridenstine]

I. Yeah, I guess that was. We should do that. How? I'll read it to you guys for a change.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Let's try the. Do the intro.

[Dave Anthony]

Fascinating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You started then.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. So this week I, Mike Bright, you

[Gareth Reynolds]

gotta be like, welcome to the Dollop.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Welcome to the Dollop. Wherever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't do it into the camera.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. I want to welcome you guys to the Dollop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Have you been welcomed?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean.

[Mike Bridenstine]

No. Every week. Usually something else happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

But this week, I, Mike Bridenstine, read a story from history to You, Dave and Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No idea what the topic is going to be about. Yeah, yeah. And this is from your book?

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is from my book, Kansas City Comedy.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that's people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where can people get Kansas City?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Come go to the Internet on the bad places owned by the bad people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Listen.

[Mike Bridenstine]

With the bad people have to work with the bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you wrote this. I wrote this book and you kind of soft pitched it to us on a pastime. And we said to you, if you ever want to come in and read this, walk us through this, go ahead. So let's do a dollop.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. This is a.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a. There's more than one story I had. I want. Yeah, there's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There's.

[Dave Anthony]

There were definitely more than one story I could have done picked here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's okay. From his book.

[Dave Anthony]

This one is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, there's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is probably the four craziest stand up stories I've ever heard. And this one you're about to hear, I believe to be the craziest thing I've ever heard in standard comedy.

[Dave Anthony]

I would also foreshadow by foreshadow. But I would also say it is the best written feel of a open mic that I've ever read by far.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I appreciate that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's tough to hear. People should probably not read that because if you could actually experience that through words, that's not great. Nightmare feeling.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Well, this one will make you not want to go even more to an open mic.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Kyle Paris made a list of all the items he'd need for his big open mic performance at Stanford's. He got a towel, dishwashing gloves, a hula hoop, his vacuum cleaner, and his trusty igloo cooler, which he'd lined with trash bags.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I ask a question? Well, first of all, let me know when a weird thing happens. Second of all, what year are we talking?

[Mike Bridenstine]

2001.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is July 2000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the worst thing that happened in 2001.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you remember these guys who would bring props to the open mics?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I remember a. I. No, but I do remember one time watching a ventriloquist get ready, kind of like that.

[Dave Anthony]

And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it was like there were like three people there. And I was like, oof. And, like, watching him put it on his hand, I was like, I mean, what I'm doing is sad, but we

[Dave Anthony]

had a guy that would come in a lab coat and sometimes a cooler.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Are you serious?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

You always remember. It registers as trauma. So you remember the early ones, so. That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Then he put on a jacket and tie with his jeans instead of dress pants and loaded all his props into his blue Dodge Caravan. On the way to the club, Paris realized he'd forgotten to buy ice for the cooler. And as he tells it, it was too late for him to go back for ice or stop anywhere else to buy it, especially now that he had roadkill to find.

[Dave Anthony]

Are you having any problems right now? Are there any red flags coming out?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love the ye. I mean, he's on his way to the mic.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He's on his way to the mic,

[Gareth Reynolds]

so you'd think he'd get the road. Like, where, where is this again?

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is in Kansas City.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So I guess there roadkill, it's like, likely. But I still think earlier in the day you'd get that done.

[Dave Anthony]

That's Kyle. What? Kyle looks like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kind of looks familiar. Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

At the time, Paris was living in Warrensburg, Missouri, a 50 mile commute to Westport. Westport is the neighborhood in Kansas City. And on that drive, he started looking for dead animals. The first two times Paris pulled over were unsuccessful. One time it was a dead cat and it was too mangled up, so I couldn't use it. Paris said, And I pulled over and it was another dead animal. I forgot what it was, but it was too mangled up. It was in half, and I can't do that. So the third time was the charm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fuck.

[Dave Anthony]

It was in half.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You imagine watching a guy look at roadkill and walk away and be like, what just happened to him? Be like, nah, I don't know.

[Dave Anthony]

I feel like that might happen a lot out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a video, there's a vice. There's a vice, people on this English guy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he's like walking. He's like, man, the problem is you can eat Italian. You've just got to try real hard. Like, he's like, skunk. I've got skunk right here.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, there's definitely people that eat road kill. That's the thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, look, I mean, it's.

[Dave Anthony]

If it's fresh, it's ground. Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's a ground.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ground. Ground beef. If it's not fresh, I got bad news for you. Day not fresh.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Halfway to the club, Paris found a dead possum that he. That he deemed suitable. Although at the time, he thought it was a ferret.

[Dave Anthony]

Easy mistake to make.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, once they run over, you're like, is that a mink?

[Dave Anthony]

They don't look anything alike. No, but they don't have the same Hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A ferret looks like roadkill if it was brought back to life in like a ceremony. Like ferrets, you're like, it's face, it's intact.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Talk about the ceremony.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You've seen Weekend of Birdies too, right? Very similar.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Regardless, he took out his dishwashing gloves, stuffed the animal into his trash line cooler, loaded it back into his van, has made his way to Stanford's for their standard pre show meeting with all the comics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy too.

[Dave Anthony]

I didn't catch that. That he lined. He lined it with the trash. Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also the fact that there's a pre show comic meeting is amazing. Sometimes, guys, you're in the big leagues. This is an open mic.

[Dave Anthony]

Some clubs do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've never seen it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, they. They explain it. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There's rules.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I always feel like the host walks you through.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The host does. The host usually goes up and be like, shut up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The light.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Respect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have one minute.

[Mike Bridenstine]

For Andrea Kaspari, this particular night made a huge impression because. Because it happened to be her first open mic in Kansas City before the show. According to Kaspari, 25 to 30 comedians crowded into the basement of the club so the new comics could learn the running order and the rules. Comics get three minutes in the light.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And we'll come back from the room telling them when it's time to wrap it up, that sort of thing. And to the best of her recollection, Paris do number three in the running order and she drew number five. I was trying to soak it all in. Kaspari remembered.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is. I think that's an important detail, the order.

[Dave Anthony]

So.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I'm one of very few women and I see this really odd, super tall, really angular, crazy looking guy. His hair. His hair was very poofy at the time and he kind of had a longer nose, little weasel teeth. Let's just not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's roadkill look like roadk.

[Dave Anthony]

Can I just say about the list? We had a really great open mic in San Francisco where the woman who run it, Rebecca, the Holy City Zoo, she would come up with who went where, and you would know if you were doing well and ready to move on from open mics because you would get better spots and people she thought had no hope ever, they would get the worst spots and eventually go away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You know, there are good open mics. There are like, there's one they do at Acme and they always are, like, banging.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it is, for the most part, it is a really, it's just so you can. It's a step up from doing material in front of the mirror.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, and there's, there's a lot of people working out that they're never going to become.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're never going to do anything.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah. No.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He's a strange looking dude and I see that he has an igloo cooler with him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a very strange thing to see. What is the point of a cooler if you have no ice? He has a trash bag at this point. Like you can.

[Dave Anthony]

What's in the cooler?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The roadkill.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. So that's the point of the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you have a trap. Like there's no.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It makes sense. If you think about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The cooler is a container for the ice. Is the advantage of the cooler.

[Dave Anthony]

It's gonna make sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The cooler was well known in the Kansas City comedy community already.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go.

[Mike Bridenstine]

For a long time, comedian Chris Porter said every Thanksgiving, Kyle would come in with a full turkey. His big shtick that he had a public access and that that was his premise for every bit. We didn't have YouTube yet. Paris explained. We had public access. So in this public access themed bit, Paris would introduce himself as the host of a cooking show. He would say that something to the effect of every Thanksgiving we cook turkeys for our families, but our most important family members get left out. And I'm talking about our pets. So tonight I'm going to show you how to make a wonderful Thanksgiving turkey for your pet. And that's when Paris brought a thawed out turkey out of his cooler, placed it on a baking tray on top of the stool, and then he would pull out a can of dog food, eat a little bit of it with his hands, and then stuff the dog food inside the raw turkey. Then he would take out the cat food and do the same thing.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Which grossed people out, but made some people laugh. Paris told me that was part of the joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy. I mean, that's an open mic.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This is an open mic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, if I, if, if you. I would start going to open mics again. If there was a guy eating dog food.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It gets much worse.

[Dave Anthony]

This is the kind of that happened at San Francisco with Mike's all the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Dave Anthony]

This, like this. The guy would have fit in perfectly

[Gareth Reynolds]

in San Francisco so far. If I'm a manager, I'm like, look, he needs work. But I love the seeds. There's some elements here that this.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Now I want to make sure that the dog food and cat food are deep enough inside the Turkey. That it bastes in with all the turkey juices and increases the flavor. He would tell the probably disgusted audience.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And then Paris, only making matters worse, would pull out a dill. Sorry, a D. They're going to get mad at pronouncing that on a dildo. And proceed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that cuz you can't say dildo cuz they'll sue you. I've got to be very careful here. My lawyer told me it has to be a dildo.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's an Italian dildo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a D. I'm putting it up.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Come on out the D, the dildo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Say when.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He pulled out the dildo and proceed to push it in and out of the turkey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, so he is fucking a turkey with dog food. That's right.

[Dave Anthony]

That's right. Just as you'd think it up sound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's one of those things too. If you were there, you'd be watching it and you back. I mean, the beginning was funny. This is a war crime. It was funny when he ate dog food. Now I'm watching.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was playing the whole thing deadpan as if it was a normal kitchen kitchen tool. And then he would take the dildo out of the turkey and lick it as if it were a wooden stock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For fuck's sake.

[Dave Anthony]

Hell yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This was an annual tradition at Stan Stanford's for years, after all. A description of which actually made it into the Kansas City Star on August 11, 2000.

[Dave Anthony]

See, it's popular, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is one month to the day before 9, 11.

[Mike Bridenstine]

So one within a year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, sorry.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Comics loved Kyle. Comedian Dean Bose said, and I think Kyle's a goddamn genius. But audiences don't always get him, and certainly not in a comedy club setting. He just scared people a lot of the time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could definitely Kaufman.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a lot of those at open mics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So did Andy Kaufman.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Over the years, Paris had other well known bits involving this igloo cooler. For another oft mentioned act, he would wear nothing but women's underwear, climb a stool, and then jump into a pile of five or six pies. All of which emerged from the cool

[Gareth Reynolds]

who runs the club.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay, so this is. It's run by the Glaser brothers, who are just out and out criminals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that. But because I'm just thinking like as far as cleanup.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, see, that's why I think most clubs wouldn't allow this because the cleanup of the pies. He must have put something.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He put a tarp down.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, Putting a tarp even Then though,

[Gareth Reynolds]

you'd be like, hey, yeah, you have five minutes. How much of it is pie?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Because this was like a restaurant too.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, oh, really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are people eating during this?

[Mike Bridenstine]

People are eating downstairs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Downstairs, right?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes. Okay. Still, I just writhed around in the pies, Paris explained. And then I got up and slipped. Got up again and slipped. Had chocolate hanging off my ass so it looked like a turd coming out.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's. That's the comedy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

If he brought the cooler, Porter said, you knew it was on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love Chris Porter watching this.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Porter was there for one of. For the big story. So aware of this after the pre show meeting, Paris decided to put the cooler back in the van for the time being. And he wanted, he wanted to bring out. He wanted. Sorry. He wanted his big act to be a surprise.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This was July in Kansas City and it could have been over 90 degrees that day. As baseball great Ichiro Suzuki famously told Bob Casas in 2003, August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats in a. In a wool sock. Well, in July in Kansas City is even would be a great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also a good roadkill replacement.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It feels like he had time to get ice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes, I feel like he had time to get ice.

[Dave Anthony]

I think there was time to get ice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I think people ask.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean it's literally in at a gas station that is a 38 second transaction if you play your cards.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I think he just didn't think about the ice.

[Dave Anthony]

Really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a different time now. It's all we talk about.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, July in Kansas City is even hotter than August and probably much hotter inside the van where there was no ice in the cooler. The show started around 8:30pm so Paris had time to hide his vacuum cleaner. The vacuum cleaners brought up earlier on

[Gareth Reynolds]

time to hide the back. There's. There was time.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There's time to hide the vacuum cleaner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No ice was a choice.

[Dave Anthony]

No ice is a choice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I agree.

[Dave Anthony]

No ice is a choice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He hid it behind the curtain before people started coming in. The size of the crowd varies wildly in people's memories. Club manager Ron Mirren's guest around 50 with up to solid up to 30 comics on the lineup plus the Sanford staff. It seems like 50 is a decent guess. Either way, it was an intimate club which gave the feeling of a packed room. Wherever Paris was on the lineup, he went back out to the van to receive to retrieve the cooler. When he opened the van, Paris remembers smelling the outside of the cooler to see if there was an odor. And since there wasn't, he Assumed everything was fine and Dandy went back upstairs with the cooler in tow and waited by the side of the stage until he was introduced.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is like an igloo ad.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, essentially, he's been. For a little while, he's been very, very slow cooking roadkill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very slow braising and it's falling off the bone.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think this gets to the brazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also so funny. That Kansas City barbecue.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's like tender nizing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're gonna let it sit in there for a little while.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I had my suit on. Paris told me I had my cooler in my lap.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm really into this suit.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I want people to picture it. And the hula hoop. And I had my way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The hula. We've all forgotten about the hula. We've really been focused on so many moving parts on the tomb.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And I had my gloves on top of the cooler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The host was a friend of mine named Dean Bose. And I remember he announced me, like, oh, ladies and gentlemen, comics in the back. Guess what, Kyle? Paris has a cooler that everybody gets excited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Comics in the back is really.

[Dave Anthony]

It's about to get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the audience outside of the audience there to make you feel terrible or. Or there too. I mean, that was. Brody was very like. Comics in the back. Would watch Brody Stevens be like, I don't care what they. The. Their reaction was your g. It was like a gift to you to watch people watch someone as well.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

If he. And this guy is playing to the back of the room, that's 100%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know who he's playing. I think everybody there's. It's tiered reaction. It's like the first time you do comedy in a theater. You're like. It's traveling. Like, he was probably like, I'm getting gasps and then people are pissing their pants. After the.

[Mike Bridenstine]

After the introduction, an extremely nervous Paris walked on stage and laid the towel down over the stool. I said, hey, I'm Kyle Paris. I'm an animal trainer. And I got a ferret with me. And we're gonna do some tricks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You.

[Dave Anthony]

We're going to do some tricks for you, Gareth. That's the key.

[Mike Bridenstine]

We're comedian and witness. Amy Clark remembers Paris referring to his animal as Mr. Jingles. That's when Paris first opened the airtight cooler and was knocked back not only by the pungent stench of death it released, but also by the heat coming off of the decomposing possum.

[Dave Anthony]

Mr. Jingles I mean, someone can explain this. I probably should have looked this up, but it had. It had. It had cranked up the decomposition because of the heat. So it was like. Yeah, it was like fast decomposing. Right, because of the.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah, it's a fast forward button.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. And it's also cremation. Really?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it's also sealed, so it's not getting air.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's like really gunking up in there.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's like. It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. I mean, you know, it's like when someone takes a. And then they, like, close the door. And you're like, your plan is flawed. You. You've really created a mod. A le of sting for some reason. You're like, was no window. You're like, how does it work? You're like, not like this.

[Dave Anthony]

I can tell you've been traveling with Luke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was going to say Luke's move. At times I'm like, walk me through the pitch here that it lives longer. Not a win.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I opened it up and the heat in that place went up like 10 degree. I'm not even kidding.

[Dave Anthony]

Paris said, I didn't know that decomposing things gave off heat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I guess really, it. Well, you know what? You've taken it from earth to a container. So you are going to the. You're. We're finally learning. This thing was probably days old.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, so.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And then there was the stench. But I'm a professional. I'm gonna go through with this.

[Dave Anthony]

He started the bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's on stage.

[Dave Anthony]

He started it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can't go like. Never mind. You guys will be a dmv.

[Dave Anthony]

Lightly put the. Put it back in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why do they stop at D at the dmv?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm weird.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Dating is hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dating's weird. You ever been on a blind date? I went on a blind date with a deaf lady. What's in the cooler? It doesn't matter. It does not matter.

[Mike Bridenstine]

You guys don't want to know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are not talking about the cooler any longer.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Paris was not the only person suffering.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do they got in the back of Target? Was that like a magical jungle? They're gonna go in back and find the shoe.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The front row began covering their mouths and noses, reacting audibly in disgust to whatever the was in that coon. Paris said he could see their eyes watering.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, I need you to think of something right now.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What's.

[Dave Anthony]

What's part of this equation that he hasn't used yet?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yet? The hula hoop. The hula hoop is he hasn't Used the hoop. He hasn't. I am. But he. The. The roadkill.

[Dave Anthony]

The vacuum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The vacuum. It's funny because in my head, I assumed the vacuum was there for post show.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh. And that's when. And that's when he reached in, retrieved the body of the dead animal and set it on the stool. By this point, the stink had hit the second row. He told maybe so you're running out of closet space. The good news, you don't need to stop shopping. You just need to start selling with the RealReal. The RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. Whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone or those boots you never fully broke in, the RealReal handles everything from photography and copywriting to shipping and pricing. So you can just sit back, get paid, and make room for things that actually feel like you. And with 10,000 new arrivals every single day from top designers like Prada, Celine, Louis Vuitton and Loewe, all for up to 90% off retail, you're bound to find something perfectly on brand to fill that extra closet space with. Plus, right now, you can get an extra $100 to shop when you sell for the first time. Make room for what feels like you go to therealreal.com to start selling and get your extra $100 to keep [e-mail] that's therealreal.com terms of play.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't believe he could. He could. He could get through that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, yeah, well, he's got experience.

[Dave Anthony]

I know, but you're still probably gagging from the. Like, you're. Yeah, you're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This truly is for maybe three people in the audience and for the other comics, I mean.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Tom Beckett said when he picked it up, there was juices and shit that drained on the floor.

[Dave Anthony]

Chris wasn't that old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I think, again, I think the container helps you.

[Dave Anthony]

The container, definitely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's recomposing.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like it's been crock potting.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Chris Porter was at a table in the back of the room with other comedians when the possum was revealed. We're in the back going, is that real? He told me. But then the people in the front row immediately started to vacate. And then we saw people get up and we were like, probably, oh, my God. Then you see the blood drip from the mouth of this fucking dead possum. And we're all in the back like, oh, it's real.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he is just testing the Balance. He's like, what? What? What can I not do? At this club.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At this room above a restaurant.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Going along with a bit as written, Paris exclaimed, oh, my God, my ferret is choking. And then he retrieves the hidden vacuum cleaner from behind the curtain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And I want to say, no matter how many times I've heard or thought about this story, the fact that he used a vacuum cleaner at all for the next part of the performance will forever boggle my mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Seriously, Honestly. He pulls out this vacuum, Porter said, shoves the nozzle down the gullet of the beast and flips the thing on. A lot of people don't know this, Porter continued, When a vacuum sucks, it also blows out somewhere. So the odor from within this rotting animal is now being expelled at 110vol. The entire comedy club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like you ever heard that story. Will Ferrell, when he auditioned for SNL and he kept meeting with Lauren Michael.

[Dave Anthony]

Did he do this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he. He had a briefcase with a fake million dollars in it. And he kept thinking at one point he was going to, like, put it on Lauren Michael's desk as, like, a fake bribe. And he. I think he brought it into two meetings with him and he never. He was like, no, I'm reading the room. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm like, he just would walk out with the br. So he. Lauren Michael's like, he's showing up with a briefcase. It's one weird. But it was better than putting it on the table and having Lauren Michaels be like this bit bombed.

[Mike Bridenstine]

So you never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the vacuum in this story. The vacuum is. It's there. People are vacating. You don't need the vacuum.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it would. Yeah, the vacuum. We've already gone past a step too far. But the vacuum is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're audible on the vacuum. You go, I brought it. I'm not using it. Yeah, it's already. I'm in a weird zone. That thing stuck more than I expected.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Immediately, Bo said, a cloud of stench explodes out of this thing and wafts through the comedy club. Brendan McGowan has said it's not unlike the Ark of the Covenant being opened in Raiders of the Lost Ark. And the sounds of the Concord being begin killing Nazis. All of our orifices were being filled with dead possum blood. Clark said Stanford and Sons was like a firebox up a set of stairs. Only one exit. I don't think any windows and restrooms are in the back back, thank God. But there's no good air exchange in this space. It's a trap space, like, a lot

[Dave Anthony]

of comedy clubs are. Like, there is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's part of the reason you want to be in a basement.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So it's like you need to be trapped. The worst place to release obvious cloud of dead animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. I mean, this is like the opposite of what the Ghostbusters do.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And once it hit them, all hell broke loose. Some people couldn't breathe and were coughing. Comedian Tim Gaither said people started running to the bathroom. Parrot said, yelling, oh, my God. We ran out. Like, there was a fire. Porter agreed. Tables literally flipped, were lifted and flipped.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Clark said, I mean, it is. It is full pandemonium. They have fully. Yes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like someone pulled out a gun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is. It's like people are fleeing to see that a gun has gone off.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I ran to the green room. Emory said, we barricaded it so people couldn't come through and let the smell in. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the move, I guess. I would absolutely barricade the back door.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Everyone is freaking out. Kaspari said, people are running. Half the place clears out. They either leave or go vomit in the toilets. Oh, there's at least three people actually sick. Johnny O.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Said, so I'm betting the light goes on.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Two minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have 30 left.

[Dave Anthony]

Have you ever that. That when you get hit by a smell so bad that it feels like it's stuck on you? Have you ever had that where you're just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, when we. When we had the. When we. The person on our Patreon. Our buddy Luke, will eat. Eat things that people send in.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the nor. Sometimes they vary. It's very strange. And we don't know how we got here, but one woman sent in stinky tofu, I think, from China.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we were like, whatever. And we had to pull over and, like, leave the wood. It was.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he. He. Yeah, he took it out of the box, and we were already like, he haven't opened up the container yet. And we were just like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then he was eating it.

[Dave Anthony]

When he opened it, I almost threw up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. It was crazy. And we pulled over, and we, like, left the doors open for 15 minutes before we felt okay. So. Yes, that would be the only time.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But even then, that.

[Dave Anthony]

But that still wasn't as bad as

[Gareth Reynolds]

what I'm talking about. Rotting.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It really feels like it's stuck on you and you can't get rid of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. In a good way.

[Dave Anthony]

No, No, I don't think, you know,

[Mike Bridenstine]

at Least three people were sick. Johnny O said about three rows back, a pregnant. There was a pregnant woman. Bo said she gets a face full of stench, runs to the restroom puking so loudly we can hear her.

[Dave Anthony]

But that could. That could have just been. That could have just been morning sickness.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They do be the baby came out of her. Does anyone have a cooler?

[Dave Anthony]

Is that how doctors induce labor?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go, ma'. Am. It's like smelling salt. Welcome back. It's a girl.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And this is some distance away. Everybody else is running out of the club. Kansas City might be a fun time to mention now is also known as the city of fountains in that bag.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it isn't.

[Mike Bridenstine]

To whom it's one of their many nicknames.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we are, Chiefs, Broncos in a head to head matchup. Let's see how the Broncos move from mile high to the city of fountains. Huh? City had known for their fountains. Before we go to commercial, let's just show two of those fountains.

[Dave Anthony]

Whenever I think of Kansas City, I think beautiful fountains, barbecue and fountains. Nothing like getting your barbecue and heading down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where people go to wash their sticky hands off in the city of fountains.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The pregnant woman said she didn't go back to another comedy show until Nate Bragazzi came to the city of Fountains in 2024.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Different vibe.

[Dave Anthony]

2020.

[Mike Bridenstine]

She stayed away for 23 years.

[Dave Anthony]

23.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How fucking if you could. If you could like, if we could Truman show her life just for to like, get to Nate Bragazzi and be like, it's very important that you throw this possum on the stage. We're trying to ruin this woman's life.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The club's manager, Ron Mearons, told me that he hated open mic night anyway and he was in his office when he heard the commotion. I just started hearing screaming, he told me, and I heard a table get knocked over. And in the time it takes to get out of my chair and jump up to see what's going on, you could already smell this dead possum going through my comedy club.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The fact that this has ended up in a book, I mean, like this guy just was like, I've got an idea. And he's created an evening to remember. The manager's like, I'll never forget it.

[Dave Anthony]

This is why if you're an open micr, you need to have an open micr friend and you need to talk to each other about what you're planning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what I was thinking because I

[Dave Anthony]

can't tell you how many times because we had. I had A Ray James comedian in San Francisco. He has something in a bag before a show. And I'm like, what do you have? And he's just like. He was, he was disturbed. And he finally admits that he has a dead cat. And I'm like. And he's like, I'm gonna pull it out on stage. And I'm like, no, you're not. And we, we were just like, dude, that's insane. No one's gonna enjoy that he just found a dead cat on the fucking street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't believe that. There were multiple people who were like, I got it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. And then we, he ended up. So we, we talked him out of bringing up on stage. So then he's like, I gotta do something funny with it. And we're like, no, you don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What am I gonna do? Just let life exist?

[Dave Anthony]

He put it in a newspaper box. He did.

[Mike Bridenstine]

So this guy, Kyle Paris, told comedian Emory Emery he was going to do. He did so. And Emery, Emery had faked being in a wheelchair for two years.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah. And Emery's like, don't do this. You're out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's another story in your book. Yeah. So he, that's the one I remember you talking about.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

So he had one, he was told not to do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A guy who, who pretended to be in a wheelchair for two years. And that is special.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, he was doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He stood up.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Stood up and got. And then he stood up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was to reveal that we have

[Gareth Reynolds]

after this guy who faked.

[Dave Anthony]

But he didn't just fake it for no reason. It was a comedy experiment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Showing how crowds react to someone.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was getting a lot of standing ovations that he was not getting as, like a standup stand up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I, Yes. That guy was like, no. Yes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah. Do not do that. He goes, you're. You're fucking crazy is what he said.

[Dave Anthony]

The guy who faked being in a wheelchair two years was like, no, not just to the audience. To all the other comedians now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that would be. I mean, really, it's just, it, it's like Trump being like, that's disgusting.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Okay. So this guy, so this, the manager is still talking. He goes, I get to the door and Kyle's still unhooking the possum from.

[Dave Anthony]

What's this manager like?

[Mike Bridenstine]

This manager, according to everyone, was ticking time bomb of fury and anger.

[Dave Anthony]

Huh.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There was a lot of drugs going through the club at the time. And this guy hated Kyle and open mic night with, like, everything in his body.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The idea that he Hated Kyle already. And the open mic night. And Kyle's like, don't worry.

[Mike Bridenstine]

This guy goes on to open a club in Michigan and he purposefully does not have open mic night because of Kyle. That's so great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nah, you know how it works. A bunch of comics show up, one of them's got a possum pandemonium.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There's always a awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a baby, a woman, a pregnant woman that prematurely has a child.

[Dave Anthony]

But of course he doesn't like Kyle. Cuz Kyle's been coming in and jumping in pies like, yes, that's the comic you don't like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you missed those days after this. Weren't you doing pies?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Everyone who was telling me this story later kind of had like fond memories of it. Except for this manager guy. He's still very angry.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because everyone else has a comedian mind. And this guy's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's also the difference if it's your house, if it's your house where the thing happens. Not as funny.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

That's about the time the woman vomited right in front of Mirin. He's the manager and he just saw red. According to Emory, Mirin was a ticking time bong back taking time bomb back then. Anyway, I'm not going to lie to you. Mirin told me I'm not the biggest Kyle Paris fan in the world. Anyway. But I lost it. And then I started screaming, I'm going to kill you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put me in the cooler, bring me out in four days. Then

[Mike Bridenstine]

he comes out of the back, both says of Marin, grabs me by the shirt and says, dean, get him off stage. I need him out of here. And tell him he's banned. Amazingly, while all this is happening, Paris was still fully committing to the bit, trying to make it work. He was just looking around like, but wait, there's more. Clark said so.

[Dave Anthony]

Great. Because that's exactly how I would expect this to go with a guy like this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you forget he's still on stage. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's got to do his time performing.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He doesn't. He hasn't gotten a lot light yet. You do your time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The light person threw up.

[Mike Bridenstine]

With nobody wanting to go near the stage. The comics time to get off the stage. Light was being frantically waved at Paris from the back. So Paris decided against throwing the animal against the hoop. Oh. So it's. I talk about it earlier in the book, but he was going to throw it through the hoop like it was a trick. Throw it up again and have it hit the ceiling. But he Decided against that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there is some level of editing.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes. That was the only vacuum was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was like, that's good to go. But he's like, I don't know if it should do tricks.

[Dave Anthony]

People might not buy it at this point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I might be pushing it also. Nobody's in here.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There was blood coming out of his mouth. And Paris told me. So I went straight to the ending. I picked up a pint glass and launched at the stage. And I missed his head by, I guess, barely a foot. Marin just remembered. And I'm screaming, if I get to you, you're dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

With all the chaos, the greatest show you'll ever.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, my God, I did. Don't you wish this just to be

[Gareth Reynolds]

sitting in the back? Be like, I hope he gets him. I mean, I want to see him kill him.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't you wish there are iPhones?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's almost worth it.

[Dave Anthony]

It's like the. It's like the video. The guy getting hit by the guitar. Oh, yeah, like, that's.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I looked that guy up too. Is that. That's hard to find. That was in.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that is hard to find.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I was in like Louisiana. He's like, oh, you don't. Oh, you want to talk. And he's like, honky Tonk man's him.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he hits. He hits the. So it's a heckler. He hits the heckler guitar. He pulls it back and the guitar is like in half. And he's like, he deserved it. And this lady's like, no, he didn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's like, what do.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Folks, he came at me and there's like. That was unnecessary. Well, show's over. Because that's. A guitar is smashed on a head. He came at me, folks. And they're like, no, he did not. That's our friend. You saw him, folks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, man, you got to be 100% when you do that. That.

[Mike Bridenstine]

That's gonna work with. With all the chaos and carnage and flip tables, broken glass and threats of murder and actual vomit all around around him. Paris said good night to what was left of the trapped or stampeded Stanford's crowd. And then he grabbed the late Mr. Jingles Paw and made it wave goodbye to the audience.

[Dave Anthony]

He. Because good for him. Because he had thought of this bit in his head for a long time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Always, always closing. Goodbye, Mr. Jingles waving. And so he couldn't not do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Goodbye, everybody.

[Dave Anthony]

Even though all this is happening, he couldn't he committed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have a good night, everybody. A glass got thrown at head and you're like goodbye. A glass gets thrown at your head

[Dave Anthony]

and you keep going, Mr. Jingle's out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going to kill you if I get my hands on you. Goodbye.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Have a good night. I have to give the cheerful goodbye. Retelling that part of the story still makes Paris chuckle all these years later. But not necessary. Yeah, but not necessarily at the right part. The possum's tongue was hanging out of his mouth. He laughed. He doesn't know why it's funny. And the act was over. Being as sanitary as he possibly could, all things considered, Paris dumped the dead possum corpse, as well as the towel and the gloves back in the cooler and close it up tight. The new plan was to get the cooler, its contents, and the stench out of the club as quickly as possible. But in the process, Paris moved the mic back into stand in place for the next comedian, which, I mean, the consideration and stage etiquette in that moment is also blowing my mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Next comedian, he's a pro. Next comedian, he's a pro.

[Dave Anthony]

You put the mic back, the show is over. The is the guy leaves the mic there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You put the mics are over.

[Dave Anthony]

No, it's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Should I bring up the next guy, or is the MC gonna do it? You're gonna love this next guy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

As soon as he saw me touch the mic stand, Paris said the next comic, Tom Becca, yelled out at the top of his lungs, what the is he doing? Oh, my God. And I get it. Paris said he was not thinking straight. So I knew there was blood and germs all over and all kinds of on my hands, although there wasn't. I. I had my gloves on, which I took off. See, it was a literally an emergency situation.

[Dave Anthony]

But Becca there is yelling, what the you doing? As in, you're putting the mic stand.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, everything's normal. And he thinks it's about the blood and guts, but it's not about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably about all of it. He's probably like, please, you've done enough. How tall is the next guy? I can adjust it so it's. He can do it. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Whatever.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It was literally an emergency situation. Mirren said people are trying to find a way out of this comedy club by any means, because. By any means possible because of this. And most made it to the back entrance, which was just a back hallway to a radio station and then down to a parking garage. And that's the way Kyle decided to flee to get away from me. Paris rushed the hot cooler of death, as Clark called it, out the back of the Club people parted for me like the Red Sea, Paris remembers. He went down the back stairs, across the street, through the trash bag with the animal along with the towel and gloves, into the nearest dumpster.

[Dave Anthony]

Gareth, the dollop is brought to you by Square. I did that really long. What is Square? You asked, Gareth, because you're just a little scared, confused boy. The easy way for business owners to make payments, book appointments, manage staff, and keep everything running in one place. It doesn't matter if you're selling lattes, if you're cutting hair or detailing cars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if I cut lattes?

[Dave Anthony]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

What if I'm cutting details?

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[Gareth Reynolds]

What makes you say that?

[Dave Anthony]

Visit Square to get started. Because the right tools make all the difference. That's what I'm saying. We, you and I have used square in the past.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Use square on the road.

[Dave Anthony]

Square's been around for a long time, and Square has always made things super easy. I remember when it came many years ago, and we were like, this is awesome. And we were using it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God, it's crazy. It's there at the table.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah, it was really great. You still use square sometimes, right, when you're on road?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It just makes everything super easy. You can manage your day today with less stress. With Square, you can track sales, manage inventory, access reports in real time, whether you're in your shop or on the go or running through things solo. You can take payments, get paid easily. Like we were just talking about. Just. It's just easy to use. One of the things that I noticed about Square was that it's just so easy. You run a business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a square, too.

[Dave Anthony]

There's a lot of moving parts when you're running a bid. And Square simplifies everything. Everything hardware looks polished, fits right into your space without Feeling intrusive. And the software is very straightforward, intuitive. You don't need, like, crazy special training. You can just set it up and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And if you do talk to me, I can really walk you through a lot of that stuff. I'm your square guy.

[Dave Anthony]

I just said I know how to use it, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But if you need extra help, I'd love to have a dinner. It makes the dinner a write off. Let's just get together. We'll. I'll teach you some stuff.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, let's do this. If. If I have dinner with you, I'm going to charge you $500. And that will run the payment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm offering you a service and you'll pay me for. Or I'll give it to you for free. But I'd like to do it over some dinner.

[Dave Anthony]

My service to you is allowing you to eat with me. That's the service I'm providing. And then $500 is what you owe me. And we'll just run it right through square right there. With square, you get all the tools to run your business with none of the contracts, I'm going to beat you up. Or complexity. And why wait? Right now you can get up to $200 off Square Hardware at square.com. go dollop. That's square.com. s Q U-A-R-E.com G O/O-L, L, O, P. I say that right? D O, L, L, O. I think

[Gareth Reynolds]

you did, but it didn't feel like it.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, right. Run your business smarter with square. Get started today.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Then he put the cooler back in the van.

[Dave Anthony]

He put the cooler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's gotten a lot of mileage out of this. I mean, you gotta.

[Dave Anthony]

You gotta let the cooler go at this point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't agree. I mean, you. Roadkill Moses is coming through, so let him do his thing.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, the cooler was fine. Paris assured me it wasn't all that bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, absolutely. Like, if he's telling you that story, you're like, you brought the beers in. No.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Meanwhile, Mirin was still trying to find and then murder Paris. I do remember Tom, Becca trying to hold me back. Marin said, I tried to chase Paris down and I'm screaming, you are never setting foot in my comedy club again. I tried to find him on the street and I did ban him for life. I've never seen Mirin's more pissed. Dean Bose said because it created a headache for him. Like, if it got out that Stanford's had this crazy comic do this thing, the boys would not have Been happy. And that would have been Craig and Jeff Glaser. They're the owner. Nightmares. So Ron was just trying to make sure that this didn't turn into the public. Turn into a public relations nightmare also, I would think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Health code.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there'd be a health code. I mean, you can't.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

All of this probably happened in under three minutes.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what's insane. That's awesome. Of course, it happened really fast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a lesson in time. You can make time. Time travel is possible. He slowed down time, slowed down time after.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And still, after all of this chaos, the somehow still went on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And when I asked why on earth they would continue, everyone familiar with Stanford's reacted like I just asked the dumbest question in the world. Obviously, the checks hadn't been dropped yet. Porter explained.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, does it make sense?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That does make sense. I just don't know how you. I mean, there's a break that's called a forced intermission. There is.

[Dave Anthony]

How do you get people back in? I. I would pay my. I would pay my tab at the door. I wouldn't come back in. I'd be like, just.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Can I throw my.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think you would just be like, you guys. Guys don't have to pay. This is what you just went through.

[Dave Anthony]

But it sounds like the owners were not those type of guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[Mike Bridenstine]

There were still bills that hadn't been paid. Kaspari agreed. You're so naive, thinking the Glazers are going to stop. This thing could be on fire, but we're still getting checks to the tables.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fire might not be a bad idea

[Mike Bridenstine]

just to burn it down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, burn it down. Cook it up a little.

[Mike Bridenstine]

After Paris is set, the staff got to working on putting things back in order. I turned the thermostat way down to try to suck all the air out. That night's pretender keeps raining.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. I mean, another person is about to be like, okay, so.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that was weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is the end of the road. Okay. But anyway, we're gonna keep the mic going. There's just 31 comics left.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And then we opened the back door. The back door. Put a fan in there. But, I mean, it was pretty horrendous. Ron was like, well, we got to finish the show. Show Bo said. And I'm up there trying to figure out how we're going to do it. And I'm joined by, on stage by a comic named DC Young, and I believe, Keith Rainey. And we're both equipped with these industrial cans of Lysol and we're just spraying everything down.

[Dave Anthony]

So that. That, to me, is the worst. That smell of like, Lysol hiding a horrible smell. It's just the worst.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lysol. Lysol is terrible. Didn't Lysol start As? Like, I seriously think Lysol. I can't remember what it started as, but it's like a birth control. It's like an original prem.

[Dave Anthony]

Was birth control.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Something crazy like that. Wow.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They're like, this smells pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. It's like shant. I took Shantix to help quit smoking once. They're like, this depression drug has people quit smoking, and then they're like, it's a quit smoking drug.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it's some weird. Like that. But it's also so terrible. Lysol is a terrible product by every metric. But even then, you'd be like, get it? Ever put it all over my butt body?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it was originally created to stop the spread of Cholera, but by the 1920s, the company aggressively promoted the product for varied uses, including feminine hygiene.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, yeah. And then everyone's like, ah, excuse me, my labia has lumps. And they were like, it's for bacteria.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's to quit smoking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's quick smoking. Use the license. Stop smoking. Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

About 30 minutes after Paris is set, Dean Bose was tasked with restarting the show, which he did in a hurry. I went up and I specifically said, kyle, Paris, ladies and gentlemen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is perfect. That is perfect.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And a round of applause for our Lysol gentleman, Keith and dc. And then he brought up the next person, and there was no way that we were gonna do well in that moment. It still smells like roadkill. And knockoff brand Lysol as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just the. I was at a toll booth the other day.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Dating is hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dating so crazy. You ever done that on a blind date with a deaf girl? She hadn't. Oh, okay, let me just go down to the closer here.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's just this miasma that's sort of floating out there. But because Becca was a pro, he trusted him to get the room back, the stem.

[Dave Anthony]

So put up your big hitter, the pro.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not happening.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, put up your big guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you imagine, man? I'll tell you what, if he brought that possum out there, you could end. You could end comedy that evening. He's like, it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He's like, I'm doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm actually a ventriloquist.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The stench is just sitting up still up there. Becca said, and I'm up there and I'm like gagging while I'm doing the damn thing. And I won't say that I'm killed, but I got at least got them focused and laughing a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I road killed.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Roadkill.

[Dave Anthony]

Look at you. Look at you.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Over time, patrons and comics started trickling back into the showroom from the downstairs bar. Paris members being shocked, turning to another comedian and saying, nobody left. Everyone's back.

[Dave Anthony]

That to me is the craziest thing because what is going on with that audience? Where's your self respect?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's correct. Crazy, right? I, first of all, I wouldn't have left, but that's different. I would imagine most people.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would leave. I mean you, you know, you talk about politics now. You see like three people. Like, we gotta get out of here.

[Dave Anthony]

But I guess there, there now is a curiosity of like, what are they

[Mike Bridenstine]

gonna do after that? How do they recover?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, how do they. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Everyone was back. That is except for Kyle Paris. As he tried to re. Enter the club, he was stopped by another comic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For what?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh, cause I killed. Killed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? I. I still have a minute on the clock.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He does, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, I think a minute.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I here to reclaim my time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I'm going to do observational stuff.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was informed that people in the showroom had vomited, that Marin wanted him banned from Stanford's for life and wanted to murder him. They tell me his face was so red with anger that he probably would have beat the out of me. Paris said, but here's my problem. Problem. My vacuum was still on set, which

[Dave Anthony]

is no longer usable. The. The V. If anything in the story can no longer be used, it is the vacuum. It is a. It is in worse shape than the cooler.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we got a four way tie. The possum, the cooler. There's a lot of stuff that does.

[Dave Anthony]

But the, but the vacuum.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's just, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's the thing, you go, you tell another comic, you go, yeah, can you get the vacuum?

[Dave Anthony]

Get the vacuum. That's all you do, go, well, when

[Gareth Reynolds]

am I going to get my vacuum? Dude, what the fuck are you talking about right now? Well, I'm not going to wait around for the show to end. If I get in my vac. Get out of here.

[Dave Anthony]

He's lucky the manager didn't take the vacuum and put it in his ass and turn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Oh yes, the fucking vacuum. The instrument of destruction itself was left at the scene of the crime. And so Paris decided to wait until someone could retrieve it for him. He sat alone outside on the back stairs of the club club while his performance adrenaline dissipated and the reality of the situation slowly started sinking in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he. That's kind of what one of my questions was going to be. Is this it? It's almost like it wasn't performance art. He. He now is going that I up.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because you're gonna do. You're gonna die on that hill mentally for a while, but then you're alone in a parking lot waiting for your possum. Vacuum him. And you're like, all right, that wasn't good.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. It's like he's sobering up because you have that little rush, and it's gone.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And I Like, when he'd been on stage and in the spotlight, he didn't realize that people in the audience were getting sick. As soon as I heard that. As soon as I heard that, my heart sank. Paris remembered. And on top of that, now I know I'm banned for life, which I knew I deserved. You know, Kyle's a very sensitive dude, Porter said, and a very emotional guy, and he gets easily affected. So Ron screamed at him and yelled at him. And for someone like Kyle, who threw a glass at his head, threatened to murder him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Threaten to murder him.

[Mike Bridenstine]

So for Kyle, such a sweet soul, I'm sure that this was devastating. I didn't really think the possum was gonna stink as bad as it did.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a dead animal. There's like, a. That would. Did something die in here? There's like, a dead animal saying, like, did something die?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Who died in here? Why is it great. Hilarious and great. Awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, okay. Like, he went from earth open to cooler closed to room closed. So he did. It definitely got amplified in that process, the smell. So he probably was like, look. Little stink. Funny. Show stopped for a half hour. Oopsie.

[Dave Anthony]

He. He really. The. The moment that I go back to is when he went out to the car.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Car.

[Dave Anthony]

Instead of sniffing the outside, he should have cracked it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He sniffed. The sniffing the outside is. That's like a commercial for what coolers do.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Possum in there. I can't even smell it. Our little secret igloo. You're right. You crack it. You.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tougher. Wear it. I can't eat that because.

[Dave Anthony]

Why not? Because the bit has nothing to do with smell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your. Your trained animal is.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Is dead.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bit is not. That pregnant woman might lose it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I knew there might be a chance. I just didn't realize how horrible the smell was going to be. He was on the corner, like, crying. Gaither said that open mic was his whole life. And I'm like, dude, you're fine. They're not going to ban you. They say that shit all the time. The image of an emotionally shattered Kyle Paris on the back steps of Stanford waiting for his vacuum cleaner is something that has stuck with the comics who witnessed it. After the initial version of Paris's story I heard years ago, it includes. Included a part where he looks up at someone and says, I just really thought it would work. It's tough, which is probably just a comics embellishment, but it actually seems to reflect Paris's thinking.

[Dave Anthony]

I can. I could really. That.

[Mike Bridenstine]

That's.

[Dave Anthony]

That's what I would think he would say in that moment.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be funny if he was, like, listening back to it, like, okay, so there's a couple tweaks.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They've given me a lot of notes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a couple notes for sure.

[Mike Bridenstine]

He was hurt. Bo said, I mean, he did not intend to do what he did. That was clear. He was absolutely kind of broken because he knew it was going to cause him problems with the club. As Paris grew increasingly distraught on the stairs, he convinced himself that his comedy career was over or that he could be in trouble. Legally, this was still a restaurant, after all.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

But an hour or so later, as the show was letting out, Paris could see and hear audiences members leaving stage Stanford's. And according to Paris, the first audience member to come outside asked, what happened to the possum guy?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, what did happen?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but not in a. Like, that guy deserves a one man show. And like, like, is he okay?

[Dave Anthony]

That's where this ends. He has a one man show that runs in Branson now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He opens for Vargazi.

[Mike Bridenstine]

That's how they got the woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That woman goes to. All right, there's just a couple of openers before we bring Nate out. Oh, sweet God.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Good news, bad news on the Bugatti.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you?

[Dave Anthony]

We have a special guest tonight. It is the baby that was in

[Gareth Reynolds]

the woman, now 20 years old. Introduce you to my friend, Mr. Jingles.

[Dave Anthony]

He's still got the exact same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's just like bones glued together.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What is this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I guess I might.

[Dave Anthony]

I need to retool.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's got a lot of work to go. When audience members saw Paris on the stairs, they started walking towards him. And much to his surprise, they weren't angry. They said, dude, that was awesome. Paris told me, I think that you could tell how. I think they could tell how Dejected. I was. This was the weirdest compliment I've ever gotten in my whole 25 plus year career doing comedy. People came up to me and they said, you made me vomit. But it was awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

I Now I kind of get this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also. I don't think they were doing. Doing that because he was dejected.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think they earnestly. You. You wouldn't. Yeah. You would not go up to someone.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Audiences don't you like that. They. They To. To say that it was awesome.

[Dave Anthony]

They lived through the craziest experience.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Traumatic event.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they. They're like, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like I can't. Like they have a story to tell

[Gareth Reynolds]

that is a real.

[Dave Anthony]

Every person in that audience is telling that story today.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some to the police.

[Mike Bridenstine]

The only guy that lit into me, Paris continued, was Tom Becker. He read me the riot act, as was his. Right. I get it. He came up to me and said, what the fuck was that? What are you fucking thinking? You're fucking. You are fucked in this town. Your career is fucking over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You ain't ever. You're not. Get out of the city of fountains.

[Mike Bridenstine]

When the show was over, a comedian finally brought Paris vacuum. He didn't know what to say. Paris told me before adding, that was the longest drive home after the show.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, alone 50, 50 miles, he said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet he probably had the possum still in there.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he threw.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he threw it out. He did. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, right, right.

[Mike Bridenstine]

When Paris got home, he disinfected the cooler and the vacuum cleaner hose as best as he could. And he's.

[Dave Anthony]

But it's not the hose. It's the.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's the inside of it. The inside.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

If that thing's ruined.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ruined. Sad, sad. Cleaning so session.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And they just kind of went.

[Dave Anthony]

Because I actually want to see the next time he tried to clean his house. You know, that had to happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You go outside. Did you let it run for like an hour? Like a generator. Get that possum out of it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And then he just kind of went on with his life. The next night, he headed back to another open mic away from Stanford's, where he was obviously the talk of the scene. I started hearing all the stories about what happened the night before. Paris said the comics were not mad at all. They were actually laughing about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, God, yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Like they were telling me stories like people vomited on the floor, slipped in their own vomit. Which still makes me laugh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone's gonna write a book about this. I don't Think so.

[Mike Bridenstine]

No way. Then a comic goes, was that the first possum you saw on your way to the club? Justin Leon remembered asking. He said, no, I stopped at three different carcasses. But they weren't funny. They weren't funny. Paris called the club to apologize, but it didn't really help his situation with the salty cheese GM we had to spend. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Do you think he had a plan for if he didn't find the right roadkill to just do a different bit?

[Mike Bridenstine]

I think he probably would have repeated a bit that he'd done before.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

About how he went on a day with blind date.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had time for ice. The idea that he couldn't get ice. I see. Just was like, I don't need it.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

It was a choice.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I would guess that someone's like, why didn't you get ice? And like, later on, he's like, I didn't have time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, you know where a place that has ice? The fucking place where you're doing the show.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I get a picture of ice?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. Yes.

[Mike Bridenstine]

We had to spend a few hundred dollars trying to get the smell out Mirror and explained there's no windows in this place and hardly anything for ventilation. We had the worst time in the world getting that cleaned. I mean, I think they brought in a service master team, and it still smelled like dead possum on Wednesday making that call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we had a guy, he brought a. A possum up on stage, and then he ran a vacuum through it.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay. Is this a open mic?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Sure. It took a good week or so to get out. Even Craig backed me. Craig is a crazy owner. That Paris was banned for life for that. Several of the comics from the scene were adamantly against the banishment, and there was a few that began pleading Paris's case to Mirror. And by saying how bad Paris felt about the whole thing. I did not give a mirror told me, I'm going to point blank tell you. I did not care. I sat down and I told my staff and every comic down in that place, and I told them, if any one of you ever bring Kyle Paris into this club, you will never work in my club again or set foot in it. And I told my staff, if I'm ever on vacation, if I ever have a day off, and I find that any of you let Kyle Paris comparison, you are fired.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a banning. I mean, that's how you ban. That is how you ban someone.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that is.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Nevertheless, the comics persisted. Everybody sincerely liked Kyle. But after Only six months. Mirren's finally relented. There was no official word saying your ban is officially six months. Paris told me, but just turned out I waited for about six months to make another attempt back. Maybe half a year is enough time to pass before the angry parties can calm down. Maybe it was the fact that, I don't know, 911 happened just two months after Paris set and probably put a few life things into perspective for everybody involved. But whatever the reason, Paris came back to Stanford's in early 2002, and he returned wearing his best joke yet. When he came back, Porter told me it was a white T shirt, and in marker he'd written no dead possum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, what a return. Holy. Good Lord. And then. So you. You taught. What is his perspective? I mean, is he still doing stand up?

[Mike Bridenstine]

He does. He lives in Chicago now. So I first heard this. I lived in Chicago and he moved there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Mike Bridenstine]

And we were. Chicago was filled with crazy people. Sure. And we all looked at this guy like he was the weirdest guy we'd ever seen. Sure. And so someone, this woman, Amy Clark, moved at the exact same time as him and goes, you want to hear a crazy story about this guy? And we're like, yes. And then she told us this thing. So a lot of people were like, thought it was the greatest thing they'd ever heard.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Like, to me, it was just like these guys all. So I went back to Kansas City for the release.

[Gareth Reynolds]

City of Fountains.

[Mike Bridenstine]

City Fountains. Yeah. I had to go to City of Fountains for. For the release of the book. They all were celebrating it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He.

[Mike Bridenstine]

We had him go up on stage with a little cooler and bring on a stuffed animal. And everybody was acting like it was like the greatest night of their lives.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because we just. Just hit 25 years of the 25th anniversary of this event.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes. The only person that's still mad is Ron Mirin's the owner. But when I told him about the no dead possums thing, I heard him on the phone laughing. And he goes, that's the only time I've ever laughed anything. Kyle. Paris.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is really an amazing. That. Yeah. By the way, this guy would crush the social media era.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a TikTok would be an absolute. I don't want to give him any ideas.

[Mike Bridenstine]

It's not in here because Dave crossed it out. But the last line of that chapter is this woman, Andrea Kaspari, being like, can you imagine if we had, like, phones, like, to get the crowd to reaction? She goes. She's like, you've seen Matt rife. That's what she said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That'd be fucking great.

[Dave Anthony]

And I also took out some because there was a. But there was a girl there who. It was her first. First time at the. She was like, show and she didn't. She went up to after and she didn't bring it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She has a quote in there. Yeah. She's fifth and he's third.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah. And she. So she goes up and does. She's still mad. She never addressed it. She went up. She's like, hi, I'm Andrea, and here's what's going on with me. But she never is like, what the was that? Or anything. I.

[Dave Anthony]

That. That would literally haunt me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mom wanted me to go to college, but I made a weird choice. Choice. I decided to get into a relationship. It feels like everybody's still thinking about

[Mike Bridenstine]

the possum, but just launches into material.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Wouldn't it haunt you to this day if you had never brought it up? It would haunt me this day if I. If that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You learn.

[Dave Anthony]

Even though it's your first set, like, I would still be like, I cannot believe.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What's funny about them is she. Andrea Kaspari still does comedy. And Kyle, Paris. They are literally best friends now. Really? That situation kind of bonded them. Try. They trauma bonded together. She's like, I don't know. I just wanted to kind of know what was going on with this guy. And they. They call each other every day. They say, I love you, and they hang. She's married and he lives. They live in different cities.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They're best friends. And I ate dinner with them at a barbecue place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a job. You like the slow cook? I got a funny D. You know, this is all possum.

[Mike Bridenstine]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

I tried not to think about it the whole time. I tried not to picture it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are. What are some other stories that are your book?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Well, I had the first story that I ever. The. The first show that I ever went to was nor McDonald at Hancher Auditorium in Iowa City. And it was built as family night. I was a teenager. I went with my mother and like a bunch of kids, she. I had overprotective mother, and I went with these kids from high school. And Norm walked 80% of the crowd.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Like, he. He was doing like, yeah, I've done this bit so many times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like.

[Mike Bridenstine]

But he. He goes, yeah, I used to jack off to porn more than I. My wife. Like, and there's like, kids and like, old people There it's like, I saw this beautiful woman get by a pig. And, like. And, like, people were just lining out. It's like, can you imagine? Like, the. Like, you had a. You know, director says, like, cut. And you see this woman at a bar and you ask her out. Like, she pigs for a living. Yeah. Now imagine you're the pig. And director says, cut. You gotta go back to your big, fat pig wife. And, like, I'm howling, like, so that's the first standup show I ever saw. And so I'm trying to. I was in this book. I was trying to figure out, like, what is the most infamous standup story. The guitar guy gets brought up. Kramer at. Or by Michael Richards at the Laugh Factory. I found out my great uncle was the guy that fired Richard Pryor. I didn't. He died before I was born. I didn't know anything about this guy. So then there's Emory Emery in the wheelchair. The owners of this club have, like, they were criminals, and the guy wrote a book about, like, all his crimes and then try to get a movie made out of it. And a lot of people died in the process of him trying to prove that he was a criminal. Like, it's just. And so to me, I was like, the Emory Emery wheelchair thing. The Kyle Paris, like, and this also happens to be where, like, Sinbad started and Eddie Griffin and Nikki Glaser. And I was like, all of these are, like, super fun. I'll just make, like, a little book and then try to decide, like, what the most infamous standup story is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And is it all Kansas City based?

[Mike Bridenstine]

Three of them were Kansas City. So I was like, I'll just do, like, a little history of the Kansas City thing while I'm there. And it was. It ended up. I. I didn't do stand up in Kansas City back then. I. I knew Porter and I knew Nikki and I knew Kyle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Chapter six, the Possum. Yes, the. The wheelchair is chapter five. Have we done a full episode, Dave? Do we want to hear some of the wheelchair?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we've done. Yeah, we can't do it. If we do the wheelchair, it would be a different episode, but it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, so. And people can go find it on Satan's website.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Is on Satan's website. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really phenomenal. And the idea that Chris Porter was there for that.

[Dave Anthony]

Isn't that funny?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I can only imagine it's also funny how. Well, like. Like, it's funny to imagine Chris Porter.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Like, he loved the guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I. Well, yeah, because he's a very sweet individual. So there's. I understand him being like, look, you don't understand. But also to just be like successful comedians in the room that night be like, jesus, bro. You doing right now, man? Yeah, well.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what. What do people just. People can look up Kansas City comedy.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Kansas City comedy. Yeah. It's. It's on the things Porter did the. The forward to it. Very nice of him to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well Mike Bridenstine, thank you very much. And this is a very unique episode but it. It deserves a platform does it really does so way to go. And let's. And people can use promo code dollop.

[Mike Bridenstine]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No they can.

[Mike Bridenstine]

They probably.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, man, that was great.

[Mike Bridenstine]

With its two juicy beef patties and

[Dave Anthony]

three slices of melted cheese topped with

[Mike Bridenstine]

tangy Big Arch sauce. The Big Arch is what happens when you start making a McDonald's burger and never stop. The big arch. The most McDonald's McDonald's burger yet for a limited time.