734 - The Pelican Girls

Summary

The Dollop Episode 734 - The Pelican Girls

Podcast by All Things Comedy – May 19, 2026
Hosts: Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds delve into a bizarre and overlooked chapter of North American colonial history: the story of the Pelican Girls. The hosts unpack how, in the 17th and 18th centuries, French officials in “New France” (modern-day Quebec and Louisiana) imported young women to serve as wives and “civilizers” for colonies overwhelmingly populated by men. This led to strange social experiments, rebellions, and, ultimately, some of the wild mythology that still colors New Orleans’ image today. With their signature irreverence, Dave and Gareth explore the sexist, exploitative, and often absurd attempts at gender balancing in the colonies, all while poking fun at the bureaucrats, priests, and “bros” of colonial France.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Beginnings of New France and the "King's Daughters"

Timestamp: 03:06 – 17:00

• France’s “New France” colony (around present-day Quebec) faced a critical shortage of women because migration was expensive and harsh.
• The French noticed English colonies were more “stable” due to family units and decided to import women to boost population growth and establish French Catholic families.
  • “So the officials of New France are like, well, we’re worried about the future.” (07:14, Dave)
• The King of France funded the passage for hundreds of young, poor women (12–25 years, median age 22) to become wives. They were called the “King’s Daughters” (filles du roi).
• Priests had to vet and write recommendation letters for the girls, which Dave and Gareth mock as more fodder for clerical abuse and hypocrisy.
  • “The priest would write a letter of recommendation to come to New France to basically just get — and impregnated.” (10:01, Dave)

Social Engineering: Rules, Incentives, and Morality Police

Timestamp: 16:17 – 24:46

• French officials incentivized procreation (e.g., financial rewards for families with 10–12 living children).
  • “All inhabitants having 10 living children born of a lawful marriage will be paid a pension…” (16:32, Gareth, quoting historical edict)
• Strict vetting and social control: women sent back for not meeting “moral” or “physical” standards.
• Rumors and stigma: The imported women faced rumors they were “prostitutes”—started by rivals and explorers. Officials denied it, emphasizing the women’s supposed virtue.

The Move South: Louisiana and the Beginnings of New Orleans

Timestamp: 24:46 – 43:57

• As French colonists moved into Louisiana (a much larger region than current Louisiana), the “frontier problem” repeated—overwhelmingly male, rowdy settlers lacking female companionship.
• French strategy again: Import women to prevent men from marrying into Native communities or forming relationships with enslaved Africans or other marginalized groups.
• Early Louisiana settlements were dismal outposts—dirt floors, animal skins, and no real infrastructure. Women were often lied to about the conditions they’d face.

The Pelican Girls: The Classic Importation Scheme

Timestamp: 45:13 – 66:13

• John-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville (colony governor) begs the King: “send girls, or we’ll lose the colony.”
• Bishop of Quebec compiles a group of 21 young women, aged 14–19, supposedly from “good families.” The hosts lampoon the naïve or misleading recruitment pitch given to the girls.
• The “Pelican Girls” are shipped to Mobile, Alabama, via the ship Pelican.
• Tragedy en route: yellow fever outbreak kills crew and some passengers.
• Upon arrival, the girls are shocked at the reality—filth, extreme poverty, and rough, unsuitable husbands. Some try to escape or petition to go home but are refused.
• Petticoat Rebellion: The new brides, frustrated by neglect and poor living conditions, band together, withhold domestic services and sex, and demand better homes and gardens—a proto-women’s strike, considered the first women's protest in what would become the United States.
  • “Their demand is better homes and to have gardens planted.” (68:07, Dave)

The Casket Girls, Vampires, and New Orleans Mythology

Timestamp: 73:02 – 79:59

• When the Pelican Girls and later batches of “cassette” or “casket” girls arrive in New Orleans, their French trunks (cassettes) morph into “caskets” in local lore.
• Legends emerge: The girls are so pale, they spark vampire rumors (fueling New Orleans’ later reputation as a center of vampire oddities)—the Ursuline convent allegedly hides their “casket”/vampire trunks.
  • “So today they are called Casket Girls. That’s a different vibe.” (78:22, Gareth)
• The hosts delight in tracing how local legend blends historical fact, misogyny, and supernatural fantasy.

Colonial Absolutism, Social Chaos, and Enduring Legacies

Timestamp: 79:59 – 80:55

• Despite the supposed “success” (population growth), the episode argues that these social-engineering attempts were fundamentally exploitative—women were recruited under false pretenses, treated as property, and denied realistic choices.
• The settler insistence on “good, white, Christian women” also exposes the colony’s racist and patriarchal foundations.
• The coda: If colonists had allowed more integration with Native communities (or simply let people freely choose partners), the region would have developed along healthier lines.
  • “If they had just… If that had been the natural route, we’d all just be like one basic color and just, you know, chilling, basically.” (80:50, Gareth)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Don’t forget, you can’t spell scrap without crap.” (03:00, Dave)
• “It’s interesting that it was a time when you would honor the words and yet not the people… You’d take their name and then you kill them.” (04:50, Dave)
• “Their demand is better homes and to have gardens planted.” (68:07, Dave, on the Petticoat Rebellion)
• “It is the first women’s protest movement in what would become the U.S.” (69:06, Dave)
• “So today they are called Casket Girls… That’s a different vibe.” (78:22, Gareth)
• “He shouldn’t be called the Father of Louisiana. He should be called Louisiana’s pimp.” (79:59, Gareth)

---

Key Timestamps

• 03:06 – Introduction of New France’s gender imbalance.
• 10:01 – Priests vetting young women for colonial passage.
• 16:32 – Official procreation incentives for colonists.
• 24:46 – French move south; frontier realities in Louisiana.
• 45:13 – Le Moyne de Bienville requests female “imports.”
• 52:21 – The "Pelican Girls" set sail.
• 56:38 – Yellow fever decimates passengers on arrival.
• 68:07 – “Petticoat Rebellion” – the first women’s protest.
• 73:02 – The Casket Girls and vampire rumors in New Orleans.
• 79:59 – The hosts’ critique of colonial social engineering.

---

Tone & Style

Dave and Gareth maintain a comedic, irreverent tone throughout, balancing historical research with sharp, often bawdy asides skewering colonial sexism and racism. Their banter is fast, improvisational, and laced with sarcasm, but contextualizes the dark realities of colonial history for modern listeners.

---

Conclusion

This episode peels back the mythos of French Louisiana to expose themes of social engineering, gender politics, and the absurdity of colonial plans gone awry. The legacy of the “Pelican Girls” and “Casket Girls” offers both cautionary tales and the roots of New Orleans’ enduring reputation for myth, mayhem, and rebellion.

Transcript

[A]

Premier hosts on VRBO deliver quality vacation rental stays with fast responses and clear instructions. Oh, I had a question. Our host replied, super quick Premier move. Wish I had a Premier group chat.

[B]

They won't even write me back.

[A]

Book a top rated stay with a Premier host if you know you vrbo. I'm Kiana. And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop.

[B]

I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail]. my father's dead. You killed him.

[A]

They think that I'm shiny.

[B]

I am a pie man.

[A]

I'm Pete Rose and I only go to Gold's Gym. This one specifically.

[B]

Rumor is that his penis is broken.

[A]

And show up where the taco bar was.

[B]

His brain just fucking exploded.

[A]

River of cheese. You've been drinking any gnome juice?

[B]

No, officer. My dad had a fart chair.

[A]

Hey, cover me.

[B]

You're listening to the Dollar. It's an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a bad boy

[A]

who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Bad boy to bad boy.

[B]

Can I just tell you? Yeah. Finn's high school baseball season ended and I'm so happy. So happy.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because his coaches go to the bar more. His coaches are awful. Yeah, well, and they just so glad to have that part of my life over.

[A]

They're fans of the pot or.

[B]

No, I, I, I don't care if they are.

[A]

I'm no longer just do first names.

[B]

I'm Scrap.

[A]

Scratch.

[B]

Scrap's the main guy.

[A]

Yeah, the name is Scrap.

[B]

What's his nickname?

[A]

His name's Scrap. Yeah, well, I could tell you right off the bat that guy's not going to be good at stuff.

[B]

He's maybe the worst coach I've ever seen.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what, Scrap is not a good, that's not a. Yeah, that's bad.

[B]

You know, you get that name by being trash because you can't play baseball very well. So you're Scrappy.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

Yeah. But you're not a good baseball player.

[A]

You know, also Scrappy.

[B]

Who?

[A]

Pete Rose.

[B]

We talked about him, but they didn't call him Scrap. Nope. What they call him Charlie Hustle, Charlie, hustle. See, that's a guy.

[A]

Because he could always find a girl's open cocktail.

[B]

I'm upset now.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Anyway, load off my back. All good.

[A]

I'm happ. Well, I'm happy because we can finally, you know, what would you say? We have our days open to work with him.

[B]

What would you say about a coach who on a senior's very last at Batman, who's a very good player, took him out of the game and put in a junior who's the worst hitter on the team when they need to score two runs?

[A]

Don't forget, you can't spell scrap without crap.

[B]

1534. Yeah, New France. Go ahead. What's New France?

[A]

Sorry, what?

[B]

Where's New France? What is.

[A]

Where. Where is New France? Or what is New France?

[B]

Either.

[A]

You're kind of asking. You're asking a bunch of questions. Kind of the same question in succession here. So what. What is the.

[B]

Where's the new France? Let's just do.

[A]

Where New France. What year?

[B]

1534.

[A]

Yeah, well, new France is. It's very close to France. France. It's right next to it. Well, not right next to it, but it's close. It's close to it.

[B]

Not really.

[A]

Well, I mean, it's close to it for back then. Because back then there was not as many spots.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

So it's. No, well, it's. It's. It's a bit far. It's further away than. Than I think a lot of. It's. It's close. And it's such a hard one to answer.

[B]

It's not, though.

[A]

No, it is.

[B]

Well, what. Modern day. Where would it be? Modern day.

[A]

Modern day, where would New France be?

[B]

Yeah, Japan. Be Quebec.

[A]

Quebec.

[B]

That area?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

That's where I would say the center was. New France was colonized by France in North America, starting with explorer Jacques Cartier. There's gonna be a lot of butchering of French names, but also, I don't care. Sailing into the Gulf of St. Lawrence, he named it the country of Canada's an indigenous. Indigenous word meaning village or settlement. And that name stuck.

[A]

It's interesting that it was a time when you would honor the words and yet not the people. You'd be like, will you take their

[B]

name and then you kill them?

[A]

Well, that is very. I mean, we've done that again and then many times.

[B]

And then a bunch of years later, thousands of years later, not hundreds years later, you're. You're sitting there going, and we're on the land of this this performance is taking place on.

[A]

Of the. Yeah. No, you're building a data center. Like, we want to respect the indigenous cultures that gave us this land so that we could build a 40,000 acre data center so that we can make as many memes as possible. I mean, that's going to be the end.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right. The data centers are. This is the breaking point. This is the straw. This is. Are we going to take it? Is it.

[B]

Do they build them robots before we

[A]

can stop the robots? Now a full race against time.

[B]

That's right. So with new friends, they keep settled. They keep bringing bros over. Trappers and soldiers and priests, and they start establishing farms in the mid-1600s. And that's when it became apparent that there's a lot of bros and not a lot of ladies.

[A]

Yeah. Is this the story about man wounds? That's right. I'm not recording a backup audio. Should I. It looks like it's good, right? You care. Should I do a backup?

[B]

No, it looks like it's recording.

[A]

Checking. Okay.

[B]

And so there's too many bros. And a very small number of single women had made their way to New France because they had to pay their own way and. And conditions are super harsh. So it's not a place you want to go. But if you're a woman who's like, well, this sucks France.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But maybe if you look at the new world, you go, oh, maybe I can do my own thing over there.

[A]

I would. I'll tell you what. There is no point in time where I would suggest that a few women moved to a place of a lot of men.

[B]

I totally agree. Yeah. And yet they still go to Alaska.

[A]

Sure. Yeah.

[B]

And officials noticed that the English colonies had a lot more families. So that's problematic because that means they can procreate and expand.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so those two things together had.

[A]

The Texas still believes this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That there's.

[B]

Yeah, I love Texas.

[A]

Great place.

[B]

So the officials of New France are like, well, we're worried about the future, the way this is going. So the intendant of New France.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

He oversees all administration.

[A]

Excuse me. Let's get that penis inside the.

[B]

Not exactly.

[A]

You heard doggy. No, no, no. Don't shoot on our titties.

[B]

What?

[A]

Go squirt inside. There we go. There we are. Now, rubber belly, say a prayer.

[B]

Why was he doing.

[A]

Because we're competing with the English colonies, so we've got to be.

[B]

No, but why. Why was. Say he's on the.

[A]

I'm not on anything.

[B]

No, you said finish in. Yeah, but you said don't on the titties.

[A]

No, no, no. Finish it on the titties.

[B]

Oh, I thought you said don't on the titties.

[A]

No. Well, also, there's a Germany separate rule. Yes, it is. If we are no better than the Germans, which. Yeah, no. Shitting on the titties is another good one. There's a few rules. Yeah. But my suggestion is I'll walk around with a bit of a baton, and anytime I see a guy inside and he tries to do the Mercedes, I will tap, tap. You stay in there.

[B]

Are you just walking into houses?

[A]

Walking into houses. And then I put my foot on his bum and go. Yeah, now you squirt.

[B]

Okay. So the intended was the head of administration for the colony, so.

[A]

Exactly. Right.

[B]

Okay. I guess it's the same thing in your mind.

[A]

Keeping eyes on many things. I was being production, and in a

[B]

couple of ways, his idea was that the King should pay for a bunch of women to come over. Man, can I at least 500? Oh, like, I get a lot of ladies.

[A]

That's just.

[B]

And the King's like, yeah, that sounds totally. That makes sense.

[A]

So. So basically New France was just a bunch of, like, do French dudes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just in Canada, probably just heming with testosterone.

[B]

It's a mess.

[A]

Just getting ready. Just trees.

[B]

Yes. And beavers, I would assume.

[A]

Well, yeah, eventually, once the women come over.

[B]

No, the women chosen were between 12 and 25.

[A]

I'm going to. Where's a bucket? Their bucket here. 12. 12 for.

[B]

I don't think 14. 15 is an uncommon age for marriage at this point.

[A]

No, it's. Yeah. By the way, we're just getting started over here.

[B]

The median age is older than 12 is. 12's upsetting.

[A]

Right. 13's upset. 14's upset.

[B]

Yeah. And to get the gig.

[A]

Delia's French.

[B]

And to get the gig for the show, most had to get a letter of reference from their parish priest.

[A]

So. Okay, so the priest would write a letter of recommendation to come to New France to basically just get. And impregnated.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Cool. All right.

[B]

Who else would know better?

[A]

Yeah, no, obviously. Just be like, she's a very good

[B]

Alphabet of molesting her for years.

[A]

Yes. Oh, no. What?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Oh, okay. As long as you're saying yes, this is. This is. You've met Father Whoopsie. Now, Father, what were you saying? You think that. What?

[B]

Yeah, it's a big. A pig.

[A]

Careful now, it's a slippery snow. You are in the okay spot for a minute.

[B]

I was saying.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

Stick with Italiano.

[A]

No, you're not an Italiano prince.

[B]

Not an Italian.

[A]

No. You started. And you are from where y' all from?

[B]

I'm from France.

[A]

Bad. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I molested. No.

[A]

Now that's creepy. But yeah.

[B]

I'm a priest.

[A]

Yeah. No, where are you from?

[B]

So these young women become known as the king's daughters.

[A]

Awful.

[B]

The women, because he paid for all their stuff. What you would normally do for your daughter, he provides all the.

[A]

Well, you normally do it for your daughter, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Aside from the fact that you're going to send her to get colony to be impregnated.

[B]

To be banged.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

They were commoners, usually. Mostly all from poverty. Sure. The king paid the French, French East India Company 100 livres for each woman's passage and setting her up with a trousseau, which is the dowry box thing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And he pays a dowry for each. And the king gave them a dower between 30 and 50 livres.

[A]

So it's costly.

[B]

It's pretty good. Yeah, it is costly. Straight.

[A]

A Hormuz stuff.

[B]

Yeah, it's an investment. You're investing in the colony, Right. Average age was 22. So that's not that bad. That's very. For the time.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Let's all say a prayer.

[A]

No, absolutely. Yeah. Really? Yeah. No, this has a good fire fest energy.

[B]

Now, the women chosen were held to high standards based on their morals. And if they were physically fit, now it's so they could handle the harsh reality of the colony.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, you couldn't send someone over there who was in bad condition because they're going to be going into nightmare.

[A]

Right, okay.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Right. So you got to vet them a little bit. Physically.

[B]

You gotta squeeze them.

[A]

No, we're not doing that.

[B]

And check them out. You gotta check to see if.

[A]

All right, ladies.

[B]

Okay. Boobies.

[A]

There we are. Lay down.

[B]

I believe they all have to be virgins too. I would imagine that.

[A]

Jesus Christ. What? By the way, first of all, ridiculous. Second of all, I don't want an answer. But the checking fact. I mean, you just. That had to be honors.

[B]

That's what the priest is for.

[A]

I mean, that had to be like

[B]

never been to church.

[A]

Good Christ.

[B]

Some. Some of the women were actually sent back by colonial officials because they weren't up to standards of the intendal.

[A]

No. Sorry.

[B]

Back.

[A]

Get back on the ship.

[B]

Turn your sheep around.

[A]

Get her in the no pile.

[B]

Most were from Paris, some from western France. Urban areas. Though most. Many were orphans and barely literate. All were very Poor, Right. The first women sent were in 1663.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then more are gonna arrive over the next 10 years. Now, rumors spread that the women were prostitutes.

[A]

Do we know how many guys are there?

[B]

I think it's like 2500.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If I recall correctly.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So obviously, rumors spread that. That they. They cleared out the. The jail of all the.

[A]

What? Why is that an issue?

[B]

Oh, because I think they want. You want a fresh.

[A]

That is crazy to be. You know what I mean? That's like the being starving. And then a restaurant, you're like, I ordered medium well.

[B]

The whole right wing talks about body counts, and those guys can't get.

[A]

Yeah. Grindr crashes. I mean, listening to Matt Walsh talk about what makes a perfect woman, when

[B]

you're like, sir, you should 100% talking about a perfect set of balls, because that's what you want in your mouth.

[A]

I mean. Exactly. I think, like, the perfect woman is obviously, you're like, really, Ben? Really, really, Ben? You're gonna sit here and be like. I mean, look, it's honestly, like, it's really important. And the female orgasm is. Is as big as a myth, as a genocide.

[B]

Remember what it was? The dry thing he said about what he didn't understand? Wap.

[A]

It's crazy. A is unable to be wet. Biologically speaking, My wife's a chafer.

[B]

Okay, so the rumor started that women were prostitutes, started by a French writer and explorer, Baron de la Haton. But the new French governor came out and said, no, End quote. If by chance it happens that there are a few among those who come who are discovered, or that during the crossing they behave badly, they're sent back to France. So it's. If you bone on the ship, I think you get sent back.

[A]

If you. Who are you boning on the ship?

[B]

One of the sailors.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What do you mean, sailors delight? You ever heard of it?

[A]

No.

[B]

That's what we're talking about.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Sellers light is both holes.

[A]

Stop saying that. What? Is that coming from anywhere real or you just been a horrible pig on your own?

[B]

Well, the great thing is, is because I am supposed to be the knowledgeable one, I could tell you that's real. But that's sailor's delight. It was successful. The women didn't all get married super quick. Taking some took two or three years, and some just said it and went single the whole time. But most did get married and started having families.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The intern dot tried to encourage cranking out kids. Kids. So he's like, come on, let's get the. There we Go, let's put it in.

[A]

Oh, you must be exhausted. Now let's pop another inside. No time like the present.

[B]

And so in 1669 he put out an edict quote that all inhabitants having 10 living children born of a lawful marriage will be paid a pension of 300 livra a year. And for those having 12 children, 400 libra a year. Furthermore, all boys who marry at the age of 20 years or less, two girls of 16 or less will be paid 20 pounds each on their wedding day.

[A]

Oh my God. Just so weird.

[B]

Great.

[A]

10 kids you get a pension. 12 you get a higher pension. But then on the side, he's selling Lucy's.

[B]

You're just. He sold Lucy's. You're just, you're just banging away to get money.

[A]

That's real. And the, the point is that the future will just be better taken care of. I mean, at some point it is also to have living kids to be like. They have to be living.

[B]

Yeah. Right. Living helps. So yeah, that's a. Because that's, that's hard to have 12 living ones.

[A]

That's really hard time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

And, and in 10 years.

[A]

Oh, nine, another one's dead.

[B]

Records aren't great, but it's not.

[A]

We're going to weaken that baby. We will pretend the baby is alive. Oh yeah.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

This is really the worst. Yeah, maybe the worst improv we've ever

[A]

stumbled into, premise wise. Not fair. No, it's horrifying. Dramatic. Our heart goes out to all those

[B]

who suffer for the now. Records aren't great, but it's known that over the 10 years, 737 of the King's daughters were married in New France.

[A]

Okay. So it did pretty well.

[B]

Yeah. Though a decent amount did cancel their marriage contracts. So I think you had to enter a marriage contract before you got on the ship to get over. Wait, but then you would get there and be like.

[A]

So you had to. You basically were making a. You were saying, you know, you were like, I will marry.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

You're declaring.

[B]

Yeah, but then I think you were declaring to a guy. But you get there.

[A]

Did they do it the way that high school athletes go? Does it show you which place they're going to college? Like five hats. Is it going to be J? Or.

[B]

You ever seen the one where the, the kid.

[A]

That's the craziest sh.

[B]

The mom storms off.

[A]

Oh, I thought you're going to say the one where the kid wasn't even like asked to.

[B]

Oh no, that one's hilarious. But there's One where the kid, I think he's like the number one college prospect and it's between like Miami and Florida State. And his mom's huge Florida State fan. He didn't tell her. And she's sitting behind him and he picks, he picks up the Miami. She just storms off.

[A]

And he's like, I like the one where the guy like puts the hat on. Everyone's like, oh. And then the school is like, we've

[B]

never heard, never heard of this guy.

[A]

This guy is not coming to usc.

[B]

Okay. So a lot of, a lot of contracts are canceled. The first round of women are from the city and they head into farm life. And so that doesn't work that well. So future wise are taken from the rural areas.

[A]

They're like, new France is not Paris.

[B]

I guess they, well, they're, they're. Well, you'll see.

[A]

But they're, they're so that.

[B]

So they don't know what they're getting into.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So much.

[A]

I'm sure they were led. I saw the fossil of goods. But then. So now they're going for women who when they come, they'll be like, oh, yes, this is very similar.

[B]

I couldn't make a butter.

[A]

Yes, perfectly. What did you do?

[B]

I'm a. I like a butter. You did I make a butter.

[A]

What is wrong with you?

[B]

With a little meatball?

[A]

No, it's not happening. That would be very strange.

[B]

Do you like it?

[A]

I don't, no. It's not of what we eat normally.

[B]

Do you like a spicy meatball?

[A]

Oh my God. It's ever again, huh?

[B]

About 300. Never married. Some went back to France, some died. Some were actually too nervous to get on the boat in the first place. Yeah, I get that, I get that. That one, I get 100. I didn't like to. I didn't want to jump off of the high dive when I was that age.

[A]

Well, you would not be going to New France to.

[B]

By 1673, the governor decided they had enough women. The population had doubled since 1663 to 66,700.

[A]

Wow. Solid.

[B]

Only one king's daughter was charged with being a sex worker. Catherine Guish, who had been abandoned by her husband. He went back to France and then her two kids were adopted by friends and she was then banished from Quebec City for being a sex worker.

[A]

Jesus Christ. Get out. So the, the dude jumps ship.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She has two kids, she has no

[B]

way to make money.

[A]

She gives that. Yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. She's got a. Yeah. But overall the whole thing is very successful. People related to this is basically Elon Musk Utopia. Yeah, pretty much people who are related to the king's daughters. Hillary Clinton, Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Chloe Savigna. Wow. And then a bunch of like dudes you've never heard of, I think the guy who hosted Hollywood stars.

[A]

Hollywood.

[B]

Most recent one, Hollywood Squares.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

In the late 1600s, there was a. There was a hockey player named Bam Bam, who I'd never heard of, but okay. Yeah. In the late 1600s, the French began making their way down North America into what is today the US and arriving in the area we now know as Louisiana.

[A]

Now, wait, when were they doing this?

[B]

This is like the late 1600s. Very late 1600s.

[A]

Tell you, I got, I. It's just, I got. I'll be honest with you. I got no concept of when we got here. I'll be totally fine with you. When did we start getting here? Well, when are we one of the pilgrims coming over? 1500s.

[B]

Yeah, well, the first guys were late 1500s. And then. Yeah, and then.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then. Yeah, more and more and more.

[A]

Okay. And then the. So the French people are starting to move down and they go right to Louisiana.

[B]

Well, yeah, because I think the English are all over the coast, Right. So they're kind of going down the middle to get to the Gulf, basically.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So they're like the Gulf of America. So if France is like, let's get all this. The part of the country behind what the English are grabbing.

[A]

Okay. So we will be doing what we call gerrymandering.

[B]

Remember, if you know this from your history books, this is. Louisiana is a giant boot, a giant piece of land. It's not. It's not what?

[A]

It's not what. Yeah, so. Yeah, so Louisiana is not what it is today. When you all are picturing Louisiana, the little boot down south, it actually was more like a knee length stocking at the time.

[B]

Yeah. So where does it start?

[A]

It starts at the bottom.

[B]

Okay. And that's so Louisiana today, the Gulf of Mexico.

[A]

Louisiana today, the Gulf of Mexico.

[B]

And then it goes up to where?

[A]

Up to. Yeah, well, it's hard to say in today's territories, but no, it goes up high.

[B]

It's not actually. It's.

[A]

It went high.

[B]

Very specific.

[A]

Yeah, no, it was like a thigh high.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, it was what we would. So for those. Yeah, so it is today what we would call a. It was back then a th.

[B]

High.

[A]

So the Louisiana you see today is very different than it was in this time that we're discussing today on this history show. Louisiana used to Be a bit more of a thigh high.

[B]

And it went up to.

[A]

Yeah, it was up to. It was up to the people back then to decide how high it was going to go. But they were doing everything that they could in the time.

[B]

Now you got a lot of Fs and in Ds and Fs.

[A]

Ds and Fs.

[B]

In high school bra. I went up to the Great Lakes.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole boot went up to basically where we would now be calling the Great Lakes, or as they were called back then, lo the fabulous.

[B]

No. So they're the usual explorers for trappers and traders. Some. Some made settlements. Native American tribes helped them out, traded and shared information with the French. Respect. So, yeah, 1669, it's from the Great Lakes all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico.

[A]

But.

[B]

But we're going to focus on the area that's today considered Louisiana.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The entire thing.

[A]

That's that for this episode, we're going to lock into that zone and what's

[B]

on either side of it.

[A]

Land.

[B]

The entire thing at this point is all about the fur trade.

[A]

Yep. That's what actually happened when all those women came to New France.

[B]

It's the beaver holocaust, which is also what happened. Like an early new France.

[A]

I mean, I. I've. I mean, look, I'll be in my younger years. I've walked out of parties before and said stuff like that. That was a freaking beaver holocaust. Like what? I'm like, that was crazy.

[B]

Is that why no one liked you?

[A]

That's why it's been really hard for me to have a comeback. Speaking of comebacks, what a great comeback. Our boys make it after taking my Magic Johnson joke. That's awesome.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Owen. Owen stole your joke.

[A]

Yeah. It made Tucker laugh.

[B]

Made Tucker Carson.

[A]

I made Tucker Carlson laugh. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, and I just grabbed that joke and ran with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just didn't talk weird because that was what he say. That was your favorite joke.

[A]

Yeah. I tried to find the tweet where he tweeted out that it was one of his favorite jokes and then he

[B]

just stole it in reference to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Benjamin is who we're talking about.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Benjamin. Owen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So that's cool.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

That's cool to see.

[B]

So he's a thief. Amongst other things. So, like in early France, it's almost all dudes.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

So we're starting the whole thing over again. That is.

[A]

How do we not learn lessons?

[B]

Well, this is different because the. The jurisdiction, the colony this colony is under the control of the Navy, and the Navy thinks the conditions are too dangerous for women and kids. So they're like, no, you can't have them there because there's a lot of Native Americans.

[A]

And as a man, I'd be like, that's a red flag for me to go there.

[B]

And instead of being nice to the Native Americans, we're going to kill them. So.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's going to be a problem for the ladies.

[A]

Well, yeah, but like you said, we will be doing land announcements before musicals.

[B]

That's right. When Louisiana was established in 1699, the French population was 82 men and boys. Thirteen of those had their job listed as Buccaneer. Wow. Yeah.

[A]

But Buccaneer wasn't Buccaneer.

[B]

It's a pirate.

[A]

An aqua. Yeah, it was just like an aquatic thief.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, people usually use the term pirate.

[A]

Not me.

[B]

Over aqua.

[A]

You're not supposed to use that word anymore.

[B]

Aquatic thief is.

[A]

You're not supposed to use that word anymore.

[B]

Kind of crazy thing to say, I

[A]

don't think you're not supposed to say literally.

[B]

Can I just say. No one has said aquatic thief ever.

[A]

I. I mean, sure. A lot of people have.

[B]

Literally. Not a word, buddy.

[A]

People always call it jellyfish.

[B]

Aquatic theory thief. You know, as an aquatic thief is

[A]

Owen Benjamin, if he swims.

[B]

When. Okay, so it's 82 men and boys. In 1702, the French built a seaport on Lu Massar, or Massacre Island.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. Called that due to amount of bones they found when they went there.

[A]

Now, to a lot of people, you're not going to, like. Some people get the ick when they go roll up to an island and they see a bunch of bones.

[B]

Mound.

[A]

Mound of bones. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Some people, they. They get freaked out by that. But then other people are like, I will figure it out. To me, that's a sort of a. It's like a no soliciting sign.

[B]

If I saw. If I saw mounted bones, I'm like, oh, doggies have been putting their bones.

[A]

Oh, this is cool.

[B]

Yeah, this is cool.

[A]

A dog park.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, cool amount of bones.

[B]

Mound of bones.

[A]

These are human.

[B]

That's strange. That's.

[A]

Let's go dig a little deeper and see what there is. Oh, whoa.

[B]

Well, so they called it a massacre, but it's not. It wasn't actually a massacre. It was a Mississippian burial mound that had broken apart Mississippian burial mound that had broken apart during a hurricane. So it's a gravesite.

[A]

Oh, so it's just so it.

[B]

But it's like a bunch of graves, People, Traditional burial.

[A]

They just kind of collected together and. Yeah, that's cool.

[B]

The island would later become named Dolphin Island.

[A]

Dolphin Island.

[B]

Dolphin.

[A]

Dolphin.

[B]

D A U P H. Right, sure. John Baptiste La Moya de Bienville was born in 1680, and he joined the Navy when he was young, and he fought in campaigns in Canada in 1697. And then at 19, he was on the expedition to establish the colony of Louisiana.

[A]

Get it?

[B]

He played a big part in charting the coast near Mobile, Alabama. And they eventually came to the site that we'd be known as Baton Rouge.

[A]

It must be so funny to be in, like, Mobile, Alabama back then and be like, someday this land will be the beautiful cascading green as far as the eye can see. Beautiful foliage. Imagine now be. And then you just go there now,

[B]

and it's just McDonald's Sonoco, Dollar General.

[A]

Is that a bad sign in the American landscape when Dollar General is probably a really wise place to invest in?

[B]

No, it's good.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I'm sure. They set up Fort Maripa or Biloxi at Ocean Springs, Mississippi. And when they learned the English were up the river a bit, John's brother told him to move the settlers to what is now Alabama on the other side of the Mobile river, because they feared the English. Yeah. Which he did. So this became Fort Mobile.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And this is up right from present day Mobile. Today it's called Old Mobile. So it's not where Mobile is. Mobile is today.

[A]

Eventually. That'll be a car.

[B]

Yeah, it'll be a car at some point. So the men who traded with the Native Americans were called coria de boy, Runners of the woods. Sure.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Over time, they became very close to the Indians. They would go on hunts, and they bonded with them and they married the women.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So in 1704, Jean was acting governor, and he starts to worry that the runners of the woods were spending a little too much time with the Native Americans and doing the sex and getting married.

[A]

The downside is to this is it's bad for expansionism.

[B]

Yeah. And religion.

[A]

Right. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Well. So, Tim, this is a loyalty.

[A]

But you do see now how much

[B]

better it would have been.

[A]

Well, no, no, it's just the. The Native Americans believed in sort of ecological balance and respect. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Respect with the.

[A]

And that, if you look now, is like elephants would have been able to survive that.

[B]

This would. This.

[A]

That to me, is a trouble.

[B]

Big turning point right here.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. This to me is, you know.

[B]

Yeah. The Guys who wanted to hang out and marry into the tribe and get to know everybody. Those were the right people.

[A]

The problem. The pro. No. The pro. No.

[B]

The good people, they want to marry in and just.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Because we need to be able to, you know, open some Taco Bells. So if we're doing. If we're doing. It's a very tricky situation. It's not. It is, though. Yeah.

[B]

It's very obvious that we should have just lived in harmony with the tribes of nature.

[A]

I don't know if that would get us red robins. I. I just don't think that leads to red robins, but I don't think

[B]

red robins is the goal.

[A]

No, but just think about how good a red robin is.

[B]

That's yum.

[A]

So we wouldn't have had that. You know what I mean? We would have had. And God knows what it would look like. Yeah, we would have. We wouldn't have be able to have our data centers. There's just a lot of stuff that we would not have been able to. To get.

[B]

So, like a segue.

[A]

Yeah, like a segue or the podcast. We wouldn't even. What would we be doing?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Probably just get up in the morning and go fishing and then. And then just play sports and maybe play around and make love.

[A]

Yeah. It's aquatic thievery. It's a slippery slope.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

What would my Magic Johnson joke have even looked like?

[B]

Because right now we're all working to just survive daily and giving money to one or two people that just sit on a crown of.

[A]

No. But then you're able to, you know, you can't. It gases so much, you know, and. And that's. And. And the gases. You pollutes everything and that. It's just. It's better now because we can, you know, get guns and it's. It's, you know, it's. It's dangerous to be everywhere. And that's better because it's, you know, and then the machines will.

[B]

Machines.

[A]

Yeah, machines now will be able to tell how much you could pay for something, and then they'll, you know, make you pay more. And then eventually, you know, the options are going to. Yeah. Be, you know, be. Be a hired assassin, die or be on Only Fans. And that is. That's. That's good. The other version you're talking about, right.

[B]

Where we just go and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Fisher. Hunt in the morning and then spend the rest of the day lounging and having conversations and enjoying Each other's.

[A]

Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to. You know, where. Where are you going to get your Kratom? Not from a gas station.

[B]

No, it's a good point.

[A]

So you're not gonna be able to get Kratom at a shell.

[B]

No.

[A]

That's shitty.

[B]

No, you make a really good point.

[A]

If you're. Hey, if you're not on Patreon, you're missing fantastic stuff. Like, Dave started the show in Wales by telling the audience, quote, congratulations on whatever the. Your words mean. You are you. For someone who hates America so much, you are so American.

[B]

You know what's so funny is that I was. I'm working on a new hour and I was just thinking of the opener and I came up with just one. That's just so brutal to the audience.

[A]

Yeah, it's not what you want to do.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Because here's why that.

[B]

No, no, I know why. I know why.

[A]

But also, if you go on the road to do that, like, people don't know you. They'll be like, this guy.

[B]

They never do, dude. So what are you talking about? It always works. It's always fine. I right away established myself as being completely different than other comedians.

[A]

Okay, continuing the quote.

[B]

Garrett, Gareth, Garrus.

[A]

What just happened? Gary, why did you just say it like a grandparent who can't find their teeth?

[B]

We just did a French episode like three hours ago. No, not for the. The magic of podcasting. They think we're doing it right now.

[A]

Oh, well, when you just revealed that we're doing it. But you blew it.

[B]

You blew it double. We're brought to you by rocket money.

[A]

Rocky money, baby.

[B]

Rocket money is awesome. We both use is a money saver

[A]

number one tells you what's up a

[B]

raga money contracts track subscriptions and has the avail of the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with just a few taps. And it Saves. Uses over 800 million 880 million in cancel subscriptions. That's crazy. It saved both of us money on subscriptions that I didn't know I had ones my kid had from years back that I forgot about my kid had.

[A]

I didn't. I found out I had a kid through rocket money.

[B]

Yeah, the kids are rocket money. Which you know, he.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Recently I had the afl, which the Australian football I signed up for and I forgot about it.

[A]

It's endless. And you really do need some. Someone I say, but something there you do to tell you, hey, you don't need this right now.

[B]

There's too many. Yes there's too many. You literally need it congregated in a place where you can look at and go, this is what's happening. Yes. So I mean it. They also will, if you want, they'll renegotiate your contracts with, like, Internet and stuff, which they did for me and saved me a bunch of money. Get on board is I think, is what we're saying.

[A]

Yes. Get on board the rocket ship money.

[B]

Get on board. So Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Try for $0 at RocketMoney.com that's a RocketMoney.com RocketMoney.com dollar.

[A]

All right, ladies, go ahead. Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Go ahead and save yourself some pocket money.

[B]

I'm so upset that you keep calling yourself ladies. Another way, you know when everyone on your team thinks that someone else is, like, done the thing, handled it, the call, the text, the follow up, whatever.

[A]

I sure do.

[B]

It's like. It's like the Spider man when everyone's pointing at each other. It's like that. Yeah, that kind of.

[A]

Or the Batman meme.

[B]

You got a customer because you got. No, you got a lot of customers at Gear Corps. And they're all like, what? Hello? What do we.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's how you lose business. Quietly, like, no one knows.

[A]

Well, people talk about crossing T's and dot and I's, but if you don't cross a T, it looks like an I and someone's gonna dot it.

[B]

So. Yeah, okay, so here's what I'm saying. Let's quo. Today's episode is brought to you by quo, spelled Q U, O. The business communication system built so you never miss a call.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Never miss a call. Your whole team handle the calls and texts from one shared number. So no one miss. No more miss messages or drop conversations. Everyone sees the whole thread, replies faster. Customers feel like that you care about them. Like at Garacore.

[A]

Oh, yeah. With Gear Corps, we're all predicated on.

[B]

There's no more cats just laying around. All the cats are getting picked up. And there's a bunch of cats put on the shelf.

[A]

There's a lot of cats. There's more cats than employees.

[B]

And the Quell works wherever you are, right? From your phone or your computer. Keep your existing number, add teammates in minutes. Sync your CRM and let the call routing handle itself as you scale. Yep, you heard me. It's great. It's called organization. That's what we're talking about.

[A]

Yeah. And something, something, by the way, something those cats could thank you. Lesson in.

[B]

Yeah, so it's the number one. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with over 3, 000 reviews. So look, money is on the line. Always say hello with quo. Try quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com dob that's q q.com dollop boom. Gareth the Dollop is also brought to you by NEUTR Fo.

[A]

Give me, give me, give me, give me.

[B]

Look, hair starts to fade. Go away. Less hair. So maybe as you get older, it's time for a little bit of a comeback.

[A]

I got a new slogan for them.

[B]

You don't have to do all these workarounds.

[A]

They're helpful.

[B]

Putting on a hat, that's not. That's not a way to fix this. Yeah. The business Nutrival supports healthier hair from within. It's physic physician formulated, clinically tested and recommended by dermatologists, giving you a clear, legitimate plan so you can stop covering up and start showing up with confidence. Bam.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Look at that head of hair right there. That's a neutral head right there.

[A]

But I. I really don't think there is a product that we've worked with on the show that more people in my personal life have asked me about than beautiful and. And always the same answer, which is that it works. We both take it and.

[B]

Yeah, and we both take it. And I get comments all the time from all kinds of people in my life and I like to comment about your hair and yeah, I like to rub my hands through your hair. And like I said before, anybody to show if you're Gareth, just rub your hands.

[A]

All right?

[B]

And every time you do it, he'll

[A]

look in the eyes, it's going to be a problem.

[B]

And he'll say, neutrophil now. Neutrophil now offers hair growth supplements tailored to men at every age. Because the root causes of hair thinning change over time, your routine should too. Neutral men for ages 8 to 49 to help improve hair growth and achieve thicker, fuller hair in three to six months. And new neutrful men 50 plus. The first and only hair growth product specifically formulated for men 50 plus. Neutral is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people. Start Neutral today and make the hat optional. Visit neutral.com and enter promo code the dollar for $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. Find out why Nutrival is the best selling hair growth supplement brand on nutrival.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code. The dollop. That's nutriful.com promo code the dollar.

[A]

Like we say at neutral here today, hair tomorrow.

[B]

I don't think we.

[A]

Bingo.

[B]

Gareth. We are also brought to you by healing.

[A]

Oh, baby girl.

[B]

Helix Sleep is a mattress.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mattress company. They also do other stuff. They do pillows and other things, but the mattress is the main deal.

[A]

You talk about a mattress quiz.

[B]

We both have mattress.

[A]

We have Helix mattress.

[B]

We have the same mattress.

[A]

The same mattress.

[B]

That way we can no go back and forth between each other's houses. I can sleep with this.

[A]

Not a thing.

[B]

That lady.

[A]

That's not a thing. That's not a thing that happens.

[B]

Helix has over you take that back. Helix has over two. Sometimes we don't sleep.

[A]

Take that back. Take it more back.

[B]

Mattress models. So you can find the perfect model for you.

[A]

You take a quiz.

[B]

I think your lady's the perfect.

[A]

You take.

[B]

My sleep is improved.

[A]

Mine's dipping.

[B]

Since I got a Helix, since I

[A]

heard this, since I had this conversation, mine's been affected. It is the best. It's the best.

[B]

I do. I really sleep well. My previous mattress I would always get like hot on and my back hurt a little bit.

[A]

Well, I also think that quiz is effective. It actually works. You come to the end of it and you go, all right, if you say so. And then you get it. You go, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[B]

All these things are how I sleep.

[A]

And then like you said, the pillows, the whole nine.

[B]

Yeah. So we've got our Helix mattresses for like seven, eight years now. It's been a long time.

[A]

The one I have, I've had for a little bit less. But yes, it's probably time to get a new Helix soon enough. But it, it's the best.

[B]

So free shipping, seamless delivery, 120 night sleep trial with a limited lifetime warranty. And it's award winning. It reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. It's. It's the business. That's what we're saying.

[A]

That's all we're saying.

[B]

So go to helixsleep.com dollop for 27 off statewide. Exclusive for listeners of the Dollop. That's helixsleep.com do for 27% off statewide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. That's helix.com$yes. So he is a little too worried about this. To him, this is a loyalty problem. And it. If fighting starts with the tribes, then which side would the runners be on if they're married to someone in the tribe?

[A]

Right. Yeah.

[B]

The Catholic priests were worried because they thought without white wives to breed, it would put the future of Christian evangelism in the French territory at risk. So everyone's got some really good reason.

[A]

Remember what God wants, what's important. Remember what God wants.

[B]

Yeah. So it's both the government and religious concern. Now, John sent a message to King Louis xiv, the Sun King, the little boy. Quote, if you want to make something of this country, it is absolutely necessary to send this year some families and a few girls who will be married off shortly after arrival. All right, so now he wants a girl import situation.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Bring them.

[B]

This is what a lot of people call this, sex trafficking.

[A]

Well, but back then. But it's different because you want the. You want the babies and they're not eating the babies. That's the difference.

[B]

That is.

[A]

Now we eat now. Now our elites eat the babies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's good, baby.

[B]

He sent the same message for three or four years and was finally, the king was like, okay, you're gonna get women. Gotta reinforce Christianity and birth white French people. So the church was put in charge of finding the. The girls.

[A]

That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah, sort of. That's who you want.

[A]

Dalai Lamak Search.

[B]

Specifically the Bishop of Quebec.

[A]

The Bishop of Quebec was in charge of finding the girls, right?

[B]

Teen girls, sure.

[A]

Absolutely. Sort of a 1600s Ghislaine.

[B]

Yes. He obviously wants nice, fresh women. Fresh women, not spoiled women.

[A]

Now, is this truly what you're reading or you're.

[B]

That's not a quote. Okay, I'm just.

[A]

But he's looking for freshies.

[B]

Taking. He's looking for fresh ladies. So he goes to France and interviews young women and teens who.

[A]

Why would you like to be by a lumberjack twice your size and age into dirt? Well, yes. Have you ever seen a man's balls slap into your buttock while you guys are lumberjack on cold soil? Now, remember, a lot of these men are tuberculosis.

[B]

So he goes to find these women and teens who are working in convents.

[A]

Hypothetical situation. He wants to pull out and shoot it on the dirt near where your house will eventually be. What do you do?

[B]

Screaming, hey.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

So it seems like most of the girls are from decent families. From the interviews, the bishop picked 20 girls age 14 to 19.

[A]

Oh, I'm not gonna lie. They're starting ages. It's not great.

[B]

No, it's not cut off.

[A]

Age is not great, to be honest.

[B]

No, I mean, yeah. I mean back then she's 20.

[A]

That's disgusting.

[B]

Yeah, 19 back then is very standard. Like sure, 14s maybe.

[A]

Yeah. Now Anthony Kiedis, doesn't we problem with it? It's crazy. Things are different.

[B]

All the girls are said to be willing because also the. He's making it sound like it's great.

[A]

Oh, you're going to love it. Louisiana's really. Oh, no, sorry, Alabama.

[B]

Same thing on. Well, at this point it is known as Louisiana. So on October 1673, they began the journey. And while in. Is that the right date? I think that might be the wrong D date. Yeah, I put the wrong date there. So whatever. I think it's 17. Oh, it's. It's got to be 1703. So they start the journey from. From New France. Paris, basically from Paris. While. And then they go to a port city in France and while they're there, the bishop recruits one more girl. So there's 21 now. And then they wait for months at the port and as they're there, sailors who've been around the world start telling him that. No, it's actually there.

[A]

Excuse me, what are you two talking about? What did you just say to her that I heard you say that.

[B]

It's a. It's a.

[A]

Excuse me.

[B]

Get away, get away, get away, get

[A]

away, get away, get away. So what's the program? What did he say to you? Because everything he said about Louisiana is he just jealous?

[B]

He said we. We be in the.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

No, she said a big spass in me.

[A]

No, we have. Stop it now we have a beautiful paradise. There you will be having sex on comfortable tree branches next to panthers of black.

[B]

Am I a monkey?

[A]

No, you're not a monkey. But you will be living in harmony with him. And you will notice. Oh, these, these guys, they're really in like great physical and mental condition. And you'll find that they're really super okay. And that the trauma is non existence in any form. And under waterfalls you'll bathe your cleavage, your cracks. And the men, men are very clean too. And their pubic zones are completely shorned and soft and very good to all of the men are appropriate age for you and cleaned and 40, hardly damaged for the Max. Max 40. There's a couple 60s, but they still are, you know, they still are squirting regular shoots so their ropes are you know, fine. They are shooting regular ropes.

[B]

Not helping.

[A]

Yeah, no, but I'll. Hold on. I'm just saying that we got a great thing for you, so get on the ship. Don't make me use the shocker.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

So this is when they realized they had not been told the truth by the bishop, who had painted a really pretty picture. And America is actually really hard. Lots of poverty and disease and rough living. Quote, the sellers described their future betrothed as Canadian barbarians.

[A]

Not true. Like, you see, they have butterflies flying out of their.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, like, in a great way. No, but it's like, that's where they have gone through the cocooning. It's got. It's a cocoon. But also they're shooting ropes, too. Monarchs and ropes.

[B]

Every time you say rope. It's not helping.

[A]

I'm just telling you, like, these guys are clean. Their backs are hairless, and their fronts have a little bit of hair, but not too much. Their peck titties are in great condition.

[B]

Just talking about porn.

[A]

You've seen. No, their buttocks are nice. And you guys will be in the pool, and when you're. When their wives go out of town, you'll come over to be helping them with a real estate deal. But, you know, then when things turn a bit spicy, when you go upstairs and you see how good they're doing, and you walk in and you see them showering and you're curious, but they have seen you in the reflection of the mirror, and they know that you want to come into the shower. Then it's gonna get steamy. And while we watch it, we can't see your tits until they get pushed up against the glass. Then we see it, and you're sudsy, and that'll be good for you. And, you know, they're really great guys. Like, all of them are super, you know, really good at Frisbee, really smart, and they don't drink. None of these guys are drinking. They are all very straight edge, and, you know, none of them have trauma. Like I said, there's no trauma. Trauma. There's not. You know, they've been through very little, and they have very little trauma to show for it.

[B]

It's a hard time saying little.

[A]

No, that's not true.

[B]

Say it.

[A]

Say what?

[B]

Say little.

[A]

Yeah, say it like. Say that. Yeah.

[B]

Say little.

[A]

They're tiny. Yeah. Leaders. Yeah, they're babies. These are. Most of these guys are babies. Yeah. They're shooting ropes like. No, but that's it. The baby.

[B]

Oh, my God. Stop saying that.

[A]

Little.

[B]

I'M just begging you.

[A]

They are little. They are little. From a. Yeah, no, I think you're right. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even from a freedom of speech level, there's certain things you shouldn't be doing. And I'm saying. I'm saying. Yeah. Let's distance ourselves from the baby ropes. Hey, we're not talking about the jungle gym.

[B]

We're gonna move on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're out of here.

[B]

Upsetting at this point, some of the girls wanted to go back to their lives in Paris, but the bishop gave them gifts and generous allowances and small suitcases called cassettes to put their belongings in.

[A]

Oh, you're gonna leave. But did you. You didn't know about the raffle. You didn't know about the raffle where you are gonna win the suitcase of goodies because everyone wants to be here.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're gonna have a great time. These guys are. These guys are. These guys are in tip top condition. There is not a problem with any of these guys. Their skin is just.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Nicely taken care of. They look like they've had the baths and they're very clean.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

There's not a smell.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Once they take their clothes off, the odor is the same as it was before. It doesn't. It's not like a room where it smells like a ghost farted. For the record.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yes. So open up your little bribe cases.

[B]

So the girls all agree to still go. And they set sail on the ship the Pelican on April.

[A]

And then the bot's mouth.

[B]

1704.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The king sends a letter to the colonist. Quote, his Majesty sends by that ship 20 girls to be married to the Canadians and others who have begun habitations at Mobile in order that this colony can firmly establish itself. Each of these girls was raised in virtue and piety and know how to work which will render them useful in the colony by showing the Indian girls what they can do for this there being no point in sending other than a virtue known and without reproach.

[A]

So the idea is also that they will be training the Indian women on how to be women.

[B]

Yeah, they think it. Yes. That is 100 a part of this. They're like, also get in there and let's fix the. The native people who seem to be really.

[A]

Who are a little lost at this point. They're really pushing this sort of, you know, balance between land and us.

[B]

Great. So there were also some chaperones, including two, quote, orphanage nursing sisters. Not the same. Not the what you're thinking you're gonna

[A]

Love the nursing Orphanage sisters. These two. These two are great. Yeah, you're gonna love this. This is great.

[B]

I. I looked up nursing sisters, and it turns out that originally nuns. Yeah. But they originally were wet nurses. That's where the term nurse started. And then it slowly switched over to taking care of six people. Sick people.

[A]

Huh. Interesting.

[B]

So, but at this point, that.

[A]

That's.

[B]

At this point, they're not wet nurses. They're taking care of sick people nurses.

[A]

Because things are going good.

[B]

And eventually they switched nursing. Nursing sisters didn't sound good anymore. At some point, that term had to go. Not for you, but for normal people.

[A]

No, I tell you what, that. Yeah, I can work with that. Wet nurses.

[B]

Okay. There's also a midwife, an old, frail priest, 75 soldiers, workers, and four families. And from those families, during the journey, two daughters were convinced to be part of the girl pack. Oh. So now we got 23.

[A]

He's. Can't believe he's acquiring.

[B]

They would become known as pelican girls because of the ship, not because of the birds. Yeah.

[A]

Because of how many fish they could hold.

[B]

They arrived in Cuma, Cuba, on Cuba. Cuba. Because you stop in Cuba to get. Because Cuba's a happening place. So you stop there to get goods and whatever, you know, to bring.

[A]

And now it's a place where we're starving the people that are going to probably have a military operation there in the next couple.

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty great.

[A]

Military operation, meaning I had taken over and. Yeah, illegally.

[B]

Yeah, illegally Invade a country much like the Nazis did. Yeah, we were. They were allowed a week to explore. And Havana sounded really great for the time. Very cosmopolitan. They're put up in comfortable housing. But once they set sail on the ship, yellow fever hits, which they probably picked up in Havana. They arrived at Dolphin Island a week later, and half the crew was dead. That's a lot of.

[A]

That is bad. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Most of the passengers were sick, but the girls continued on despite their condition.

[A]

It sounds very much like how we contained diseases. Now, you got sick on a ship. I get over here. You come on.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

You figure it out. You want to go to a casino?

[B]

Whatever you do, don't read about the one soul solo respiratory contagious version of antivirus because it's certainly not the one that we're letting hit the whole world.

[A]

Can you also. Can you believe, like, the. The USAID stuff continues? Even when it happened, we were like, the selfish move is to continue USAID and. And Elon pulled the plug and that was it. And that's it. And now, you know, the million millions of people are going to die because of it. And probably more because that was a big part of how we would stop diseases.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it was kind of a big part. But also it's how we overthrew countries. Oh, yeah, there's that. So they keep going. They're taking in smaller boats up river to Mobile and arrived on August 1. Only one girl died from yellow fever. The rest recovered. Now coming from Paris and then stopping in the cosmopolitan city of Havana to this filth hole that is Mobile is shocking.

[A]

Pretty cool, huh?

[B]

Do you like rocks?

[A]

It's great, huh?

[B]

There's some dirt.

[A]

Here you go. This mentally deranged guy is going to be your husband. He believes that he's fighting elves. Oh, he drinks sea water.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And he's very quick to anger. And his penis doesn't work.

[B]

He just described Elon Musk.

[A]

Yes, that's right. So comedy's Bach.

[B]

The houses are shacks with dirt floors and deer skins over the windows.

[A]

Well, well, well. Welcome to paradise.

[B]

All of their potential husbands are wearing animal skins.

[A]

Hey, now, I know it looks like you're about to have sex with an elk. With a human, that is. Bruce.

[B]

Some girls freaked out and tried to run away, asking both to take them back to France, but the boats refused.

[A]

That is the darkest ever.

[B]

Totally fine. Talk about being lied to. So they're stuck here and they start to figure out which disgusting man they would marry. Of the 50 eligible men, only 25 had a home and land. In early August, 13 marriages were performed quickly, but several pelican girls held out. And that paid off when they married a wealthier French soldiers who were stationary. So soldiers were usually from higher up families. Then at the end of August, a yellow fever epidemic hits Mobile right now. Probably because they brought it right, the pelican girls. And after two weeks incubation period, the mosquitoes start to start infecting the locals. And the epidemic would go on for two months, ending in early November. Two pelican girls died. Two French soldiers who had gotten engaged died. So of those, I mean, you're not

[A]

even getting to the amount of mosquitoes that probably passed away.

[B]

Ah, yeah, I don't like to get into that because it makes me sad.

[A]

Yeah, those numbers are off the charts.

[B]

Mosquito holocaust, mosquito cost.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Eventually all the remaining pelican girls got married except for one, Marie F. De Busaron. She was brought as a chaperoner, refused to get married, and a bunch of the dudes were very into her, but she Just not having it. And she told Jean the men were unsuitable because of her noble background. Okay, but he's like, get married, lady. You're here to. Who cares about your noble background? You're here to procreate. Bang. And make the babies, right? So he's just pushing her for months. There's a lot of tension. And then in March 1705, she meets Pierre Dujay Brasbois, who was Jean's cousin and also his major aide and the king's lieutenant.

[A]

Okay, there you go. You make that move.

[B]

She falls for him, okay? Because she's taking. He's wounded in a battle and she's taking care of him and she falls for him. But Jean forbids them to get married.

[A]

Not him. No, no.

[B]

You must marry the filthy one.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

I've got. I've got a penis. Do you like to see my under

[A]

skin after a. I use dirt to cover up the. And my part hearts and water to me is a big problem. Water. I don't like when women talk or look.

[B]

Water make me mad. Spicy people.

[A]

No, stay here. What? No, stay here. What? Just don't do that one.

[B]

Who. Who do you think the chef is?

[A]

You like French people? Can't give a. French cuisine. Very popular. They bring.

[B]

They always bring an Italian fellow that.

[A]

No, they don't. The French have great pride in their Michelin star. You think that's Italian, you idiot?

[B]

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Ciao. I never seen you more disgusted.

[A]

It is terrible. Lots of good French stuff happening here. Lots of good. And you bring this idiot me to bullet. Italian. It's not even Italian.

[B]

I didn't know you were racist even.

[A]

It's not even. Yeah,

[B]

he doesn't want his major aid marrying a woman who is one of his biggest critics. So the marriage doesn't happen. And Marie would remain living there, but never got married.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

One big reason was probably because she. Because the pelican girls living conditions were such. So what was the point of getting married, right?

[A]

Oh, sweet baby Dave. Listen, you know how news is. We're basically a news show and it's overwhelming. Yeah, but this is different. News is non stop. It's. It's coming at you all the time. You know what it's like living in this day and age?

[B]

I do. I live here.

[A]

One hour you're talking about one thing. The next hour you've completely forgotten about that thing because your brain cannot catch up.

[B]

You know, we need Gareth.

[A]

Say it.

[B]

A podcast.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That is not panic inducing. It slows things down.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm talking about Stateside with Kai and Carter.

[A]

That's exactly what I was going to say.

[B]

It's a Guardian podcast.

[A]

Stateside with Kai and Carter airs three times per week because there's always something to discuss. Kai and Carter get access to the Guardians resources in the US and reporters around the world. And David, they deliver the most relevant information right to you.

[B]

We should say it's journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman, but we're talking global

[A]

content across news, international coverage, climate, culture, sports, lifestyle, fashion, wellness. And they're not billionaire owned over there at the Guardian, Dave, which is something you and I can get behind.

[B]

I like that. So Kai and Carter wrestle with all the questions we have. What's going on in the world. So listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Stateside with Kai and Carter

[A]

this episode

[B]

is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go

[A]

to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Me. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Together we're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty Liberty. Liberty Liberty. This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. May is mental health awareness month and Talkspace, the leading virtual therapy provider, is

[B]

sharing the message that connection is crucial because good relationships are an essential and

[A]

sometimes overlooked component of mental well being.

[B]

If your relationships could use some strengthening,

[A]

a licensed therapist from Talkspace can help. Therapy can help you communicate better with loved ones, repair conflicts and understand how to address loneliness and build community.

[B]

It's easy to sign up.

[A]

Just go to talkspace.com and you'll be paired with a therapist within two days. You'll meet with your therapist online on your schedule. Plus, Talkspace is in network with most

[B]

major insurers and most insured members have a $0 copay.

[A]

Make personal connections a priority and start today. If you're not covered by Insurance, get

[B]

$80 off your first month with Talkspace

[A]

when you go to talkspace.com and enter promo code SPACE80. That's S-P A C E80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com and Enter promo code SPACE80.

[B]

She eventually would move to New Orleans years later and get married. But for now, the pelican girls who did get hitched were dealing with reality, which is sucked.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Their husbands are runners of the woods, so they keep running off into the wilderness to trade with tribes. And the trappers are gone for long periods getting furs and then selling them to export. And the traders brought goods shipped in from Europe from ports to farms and plantation. So they're always gone. They're just always working well.

[A]

And also you probably. It's when they come back, you're probably

[B]

like just covered in guts.

[A]

Just. Well, and also just like, you know, I'm hungry. Feed me. Lift up your skirt. Clean up after me. Go wash my clothes in that river.

[B]

Well, some. Some didn't. Some were still going back to their native wives to. That's who they. That's who they love.

[A]

That's fine.

[B]

So the newly married Pelican girls took over running the households. Babies start being born. They're seriously disillusioned by how little concerns their husbands actually had for them. And the men are refusing to plant gardens for their wives. And food's becoming scarce. Some of them having to eat acorns to survive. And that's normal doing tasty.

[A]

That's a fine thing.

[B]

Good.

[A]

And that's a message for America in the next four to five years.

[B]

Yeah. Learn with acorn trees.

[A]

Acorns are. You're allowed to eat those and that's okay to eat. And. And that's going to be happening.

[B]

As foretold by Olivia Butler. So the Pelican girls banded together, organized for action. And they denied unionizing. They denied their husbands, quote, bed and board. So these students come back from the wild and they're not allowed into their homes and they're not getting any sex.

[A]

I again, the. They're. The part of the problem is now the incel culture. But there still is great power. And she's cutting off the spigot.

[B]

Yeah. Their demand is better homes and to have gardens planted.

[A]

And the idea that it's just. I'm not you till we have cucumbers. This is difficult actually seeing dudes out there like gardening. Like, I'm going to get laid quickly till the soil.

[B]

It totally worked.

[A]

Right. But I was your squash. Now let me you please.

[B]

But Jean is now pissed because he thinks that the women are creating unnecessary problems.

[A]

Well, they're. They're demanding Rights.

[B]

Food.

[A]

Yeah, that. Sir, they are requesting certain quality qualities to live by.

[B]

Oh, you want a floor in your house?

[A]

Floor and food. Shut up. Eat your air cards and pull your panties down. This is crazy.

[B]

He said the women were panties.

[A]

You have any idea how many other women he's in the woods.

[B]

He said the women were pampering.

[A]

I gave you a suitcase full of goodies.

[B]

He said the women were pampered city girls who didn't want to do the required work.

[A]

Work.

[B]

And. And he sent letters back to France telling his superiors that they should only send hard working girls from the country.

[A]

Swear to God. It's starting. Everything starting to sound like an Epstein email.

[B]

This became known as the Petticoat Rebellion. It is the first women's protest movement in what would become the US Good. Over the next couple years, the population grew to 281 by 1708. Then another yellow fever hit. Plague. And they went down to 178. And then came a really great flood. And John has the settlement moved downriver to the present site of mobile, Alabama in 1711. And in 1713 a new dude is put in charge of Louisiana. Antoine de La Moth. Cadillac.

[A]

Cadillac.

[B]

It's the Cadillac guy. But he kept arguing with the investors because this is still a private right. The whole colony. Privacy. It's a private.

[A]

Okay, whatever.

[B]

He keeps arguing and doing stupid. Like he. He said he found a copper mine that didn't actually exist.

[A]

Love that.

[B]

And he was cut loose in 1716. And Jean was put back in charge for just a year. And then again, he's out. And a new guy was brought in. Jean Michael De Le. But John has a lot of sway. He's using his power in the colony. And in a year, lepon is out and John's back in charge.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

So the next year, John establishes New Orleans, which he said was safe from tidal surges and hurricanes.

[A]

Hilarious. Obviously, trust me, this is secure. But it was probably.

[B]

This is it.

[A]

This will be a beautiful farming community where everyone will come together and share goods. This would be utopia as far as we can see. I call it New Orleans. Eventually people will walk down the street and it will smell like someone Vomit.

[B]

Just vomit everywhere.

[A]

Just vomit and trash every single night.

[B]

Yeah. The first time you go to Bourbon street you're like, oh God. Why does anybody go here?

[A]

I remember the first day walking around the French Quarter the day after and being like, oh my God.

[B]

It's horrifying.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

It's the worst. It's terrible. So that he wants to be the new capital of the colony. And the settlement is approved by the king. And by 1719, huts and storage houses are built, and Jean begins moving troops and supplies from Mobile. Oh, and then it floods while they're building it. Also.

[A]

That's not from a hurricane.

[B]

It's a thing I said about.

[A]

That's fine. They'll figure it out. They would be levees.

[B]

What could go wrong here?

[A]

It's nothing.

[B]

There was also war with Spain 1718-1719. And he ended up moving the French Louisiana capital to Biloxi, away from the battlefront, so it didn't end up being New Orleans like he wanted. So at this point, New Orleans is just an outpost, and John had surveys done to expand it outside the fort. And civilians start building homes. So it's. It's building up.

[A]

And

[B]

then the old issue rises up again. Not enough women, because you expand and it's all dudes. And it just keeps happening. So the men of New Orleans need brides. As they were having affairs with ins. This is different. So they're having affairs now with enslaved women and free black women. So you can't have that. Also, like, you can't have them sleeping with Native Americans because they're not. Right. Christian. Good women. And now. Now black women. You can't. Whoa. We can't have that either.

[A]

You start to see how the. You know, it's just a land of. It's like mistake Jenga. Like, we've just decided to continue to just build mistake upon mistake with never looking back and being like, should we just try to figure out, can everybody just.

[B]

Who they want?

[A]

Can we just kind of go back and think about what we need and what's right instead of just endlessly being like, shut up.

[B]

Well, it's just. There's just this crazy thing where you're just like. Just let people have.

[A]

Hang out with crazy. Hang out with who they want. Just cr. And they're like, no, no, no. Because Mitch McConnell needs trust. Mitch McConnell's vision for the future.

[B]

And also at the same time, John said the men were the scum of France and only debauchery on their minds.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So, yeah, they're dudes.

[A]

Yeah. They're.

[B]

They're the frontier. They're absolutely. They're drinking and. Yeah, yeah. So to put a stop to all this, once again, he wants women. A nice big injection of women. And he requested, quote, good virgin women.

[A]

I. That part, to me, the whole thing is disgusting. But that part is really.

[B]

Who wants a virgin? I.

[A]

That's really a weird request.

[B]

To be like, no, absolutely not. Give me some with experience.

[A]

Well, I mean, even like, he just. Just don't even talk about. Just let it go. Just be like, if you're. If you are insisting on women moving to hell, just be like, hey, whoever, whoever.

[B]

Yeah. So the King of France gladly agrees, but this time he turns to the Hospital General de la Saltier and a charity hospital once for beggars, children and orphans, but they had added a wing for prostitutes.

[A]

Okay, 300. So the virgin request is.

[B]

Well, no. So Jean is expecting young, pure virgins.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And he gets some baddies. Nice. 88 women arrive on January 8th, 1721. And John quickly discovered all the women had been destitute and most prostitutes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So he was hoping that this new influx of young, good virgin women would turn the scum men around.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

And provide structure and family.

[A]

That's how that works.

[B]

Stop the law.

[A]

Like, that is absolutely.

[B]

They're gonna turn the dudes from bad to good. But now you brought in what he thinks are bad women. So I made everything a bad and a bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Basically, that's going to be bad.

[B]

So the debauch environment in New Orleans just increased.

[A]

So that's how we get New Orleans.

[B]

I mean, yes. I mean, everybody, basically everyone, it just was like, everyone's like, yeah, let's have fun and party. Like, that's what you're talking about.

[A]

No. What are you doing? We call this the Eiffel Tower.

[B]

No,

[A]

no. What? What's with all these beads?

[B]

King Louis XV decided one way to fix the mess of debauchery was to send over some nuns.

[A]

Just swear to God, it's just like. It's really just like someone spilled grape juice on a carpet and you're just like, get a new carpet. No, put orange juice on it.

[B]

This is like when they have a diet, when they have an island and they're like, there's too many rats. Bring in the cats. And then they go, oh, my God, there's too many cats bringing dogs. And they keep just like, like, oh,

[A]

now we have an island. That's crazy with dogs, cats, rats bringing birds.

[B]

So Ursuline nuns were sent to New Orleans to care for sick and provide an education to the daughters of the well off. And the sisters arrived in July 1727. There's 12. They founded a school immediately after arriving. And again, not enough women for all the bros. We still have that problem because this is now six years after the last batch of the sex workers came. Right?

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

So Jean is not happy with the last batch, and he asked for more. And they are sent in 1728, the year after the nuns got there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

These are more refined.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Many attended the Ursuline School until they got married. The effect fact, these girls were taught housekeeping, selling, and basic liter literacy skills. So they could be wives and run in the household.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Now these girls are officially the cassette girls. While the. The Louisiana girls, the 23 are known as the pelican Girls.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But they had cassettes.

[A]

What they had.

[B]

They did have cassettes, but these one, they. There's a little bit of a murkiness in there. But officially, these are the caskets.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They were named after the cassette that they brought with them, which really just looks like what we call a trunk. It just look like a trunk.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Cassette morphed into kesat, which eventually became casket.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So today they are called Casket Girls.

[A]

That's a different vibe.

[B]

Well, the trunks were actually pretty small, but rumors.

[A]

My trunk is full of junk.

[B]

And legends over the years, the caskets got bigger and bigger until people were saying they're large enough to hypothetically hold a body.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

And legend says when the men saw the women for the first time when they got off the ship, they found them unnaturally pale. So much so that their skin blistered and reddened from the subtropical sun within moments. Yeah. That along with the distorting of CAS cassettes to caskets led to stories. And those trucks. Those trucks we brought dead women were caskets. And each large enough to hold the body. And each casket was a vampire. And the vampires were kept in the sealed off third story of the old Ursuline convent, where the shutters were closed and secured with nails blessed by a pope. There's another version that says the cask girls were actually vampires themselves. And this is why there are so many vampire stories and movies about vampires from New Orleans.

[A]

That's crazy, because if you go to New Orleans, it's so much of it. Is that. Yeah, that's crazy. Too. Too pale for these piggy lumberjacks. Do you have any with a darker skin tone?

[B]

The Order of Saint Ursula continues their mission of educating women in New Orleans to this day. And Jean was governor until 1843 when he returned to France. And he's often called the Father of Louisiana.

[A]

Well, he shouldn't be. He should be called Louisiana's pimp. I mean, it. It is gross. Yeah, it's gross. It's just gross.

[B]

I mean, you know, it's a different time, so, like.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

It's not like women had it awesome wherever they were. So there were women. Yeah, get me the out here. But you did lie to the women.

[A]

A lot of it was like, like, you know, get your numbers up. But like you said. Or like we were talking about, that was naturally going to happen if the whole. The. This.

[B]

There were women there already. They're just Native American women.

[A]

This level of forced white development is

[B]

so the, the fact that. The fact that, like, and this happened with slaves, too, they would. They would go and merge into a tribe and. And trappers were friends with tribes. Like, if they had just. If that had been the natural route.

[A]

If you just let it.

[B]

Yeah, that would have been.

[A]

We'd all just be like one basic color and just, you know, chilling, basically.

[B]

Instead, instead this Trump sources all. That's interesting Dot com.

[A]

You saw him in the wind in China, right?

[B]

Yeah. His hair. Spectacular.

[A]

Just awesome.

[B]

Country Roads Magazine.com New Orleans.com NolaDefender.com NOLA.com and then Wikipedia and Encyclopedia of Alabama.org.

[A]

well, that's crazy. I mean, that is really. That's. That's some strange.

[B]

What's the last one we did?

[A]

We did last actual one or last

[B]

dollop that we didn't hear? It was Seabrook because I just did vampires. And last time I did. There's a theme that I just did

[A]

last time it was monsters.

[B]

It was

[A]

dog people. It was a dog man. You did the dog man of Seabrook.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that was. I was trying to think of what he led to. What was his. I can't remember.

[A]

And people.

[B]

People are screaming. No, it wasn't Dracula. It was Frankenstein. Oh, no, it wasn't Frank.

[A]

Wolf man. Isn't it called Mothra?

[B]

Was Mothra.

[A]

He became Mothra, remember? Because they turned on the big light of Seabrook, the lighthouse at Seabrook, and he flew to it in that suit that he made. People are like, that was. That was two weeks ago. Yeah, we know. Okay.

[B]

Oh, zombies. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I meant. Mothra man.

[B]

If you love podcasts, you already know

[A]

how to fit great stories into your

[B]

busy day, so why not do the same thing with books? Everand is an affordable audiobook and ebook subscription that goes wherever you go.

[A]

Your commute, your workout, your grocery run.

[B]

No rearranging your schedule, no carving out reading time.

[A]

Just hit play for a limited time. New members get two free books when

[B]

they start a free trial. Go to everand.com. listen to Claim Yours. That's E V E R-A-N-D dot com. Listen Dish has been connecting communities like yours for the last 45 years, providing the TV you love at a price you can trust. Watch live sports, news and the latest movies, plus your favorite streaming apps, all in one place. Switch to Dish today and lock in the lowest price in satellite TV, starting at $89.99 9amonth with our two year price guarantee. Call 888-@dish or visit Dish.