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Dave Anthony
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Last year I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself.
Dave Anthony
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Dave Anthony
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Gareth Reynolds
You killed him.
Dave Anthony
They think that I'm shiny.
Gareth Reynolds
I am a pie man.
Dave Anthony
I'm Pete Rose and I only go to Gold's Gym. This one specifically.
Gareth Reynolds
Rumor is that his penis is broken.
Dave Anthony
And show him where the taco bar was.
Gareth Reynolds
His brain just fucking exploded.
Dave Anthony
River of cheese. You been drinking any gnome juice?
Gareth Reynolds
No, officer. My dad had a fart chair.
Dave Anthony
Hey, cover me.
Gareth Reynolds
You're listening to the dollop on the thingy Comedy Network. This because is a SAG AFTRA Union podcast. It's an American history podcast. Each week I read a story from.
Dave Anthony
What's your name please?
Gareth Reynolds
David Anthony. I read a story from American history,
Dave Anthony
Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Christ, really? Save that.
Gareth Reynolds
Change it up a little bit.
Dave Anthony
This is part three and an excite. What do we. Silas Soul. The Silas Soul.
Gareth Reynolds
Silas Soul. Abolitionist. Abolitionist gentleman. Joined the military to fight for the Union and found himself in the west Native American wars.
Dave Anthony
Great. It's good.
Gareth Reynolds
So where we last left off, he had him and his side had made a peace deal with Native Americans which held for about two months. And then the uppers and the the army were like, no, kill them all. And so this guy, Captain, the fighting parson, as he's known Commander, the soldiers, basically they're going to go and kill every Native Americans at Sand Creek. And that's on November 29, 1864. So the 1st Battalion starts shooting a volley into the camp.
Dave Anthony
Shooting a volley volley of oh like gunfire, right?
Gareth Reynolds
They're shooting at anything that moves. Women, children.
Dave Anthony
This is just to be clear, a fish in a barrel situation basically. Right. I mean they're all pretty much.
Gareth Reynolds
So the, the warriors are all in another camp because they can't imagine that you would go and kill a bunch of women.
Dave Anthony
But again that's, that's what gives us an advantage because you're like yeah, nobody's capable of that. It's like that's where we hit him. That's what we do. That's what we get him.
Gareth Reynolds
Surprise.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, like if you're in a fight, you don't put a hand over your cuz you're like nobody's going to punch me right in there. Oh yeah, get ready cuz I'm coming in. I'm going to punch right in the hole.
Gareth Reynolds
See this is why I always I'll take you right.
Dave Anthony
The brown eye. Make the brown eye a black eye.
Gareth Reynolds
This is why I always hand over my always.
Dave Anthony
It's true.
Gareth Reynolds
It's first place I hide.
Dave Anthony
Last time he had diarrhea go
Gareth Reynolds
why I was sick like a week ago.
Dave Anthony
So what'd you have Go diarrhea. Go ahead back to sorry. By the way you guys, if you want to play last time you had diarrhea at home you can go to the website dollar podcast.com click on merch and there's nothing there.
Gareth Reynolds
So the women and children hide in the creek bed hoping for mercy. But the howitzers rain metal down upon or maming anything that looked like a native.
Dave Anthony
This is a genocide. I mean this is what, like a. What do we call it? A mini genocide?
Gareth Reynolds
I mean it's a massacre. The the third calvary couldn't help themselves and charged into the fray before the command. They cut down more peaceful natives including the chief's wife, shooting her nine times. Around this point in the battle, a major ordered Silas to advance across the creek. Silas is tormented by guilt, immorality. He had not. He was like I've been a loyal soldier for years. Gotten commendations for bravery. We're doing recruiting, right.
Dave Anthony
Well in a way doing something like this is the most brave thing.
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
Dave Anthony
Because every fiber of you is saying this is a act of total soulless criminality.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
I must dig deep enough to be the devil in white flesh.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, for sure. So yeah. So he's. He's like, you know, I believe in the chain of command, that being superiors quote. But as they approached the creek, he saw the situation for what it was. An out of control mob massacring men, women and children. Rather Than risk the loss of his own sanity, morality. He hesitated in following the orders. Instead, he dressed his troops. Quote. Boys, do you know who you are fighting today? Silas, come on. Silas's men have been with the natives since the beginning. Experience the humanity and kindness. No, replied one of the soldiers, quote, while we are fighting a friendly chief in his band. One trooper replied, well, we won't fire a shot today. And the men cheered and shouted. And Silas knew he couldn't have his men sit out for fear of jailer. Worse. But he had an idea. I don't ask you to shoot, but follow me and we will mix in this fuss and go through it.
Dave Anthony
I. What? What do you mean?
Gareth Reynolds
We're gonna ride around on horses and stuff and not do anything.
Dave Anthony
Pretend that's really what it is. I was kind of hoping for like a kill.
Gareth Reynolds
He's not gonna have them shoot. I mean.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
No, because they can't start shooting their own.
Dave Anthony
Right.
Gareth Reynolds
That gets really crazy.
Dave Anthony
So just mix in and don't do anything.
Gareth Reynolds
I might have, like. Yeah, it's okay to kill your own guys.
Dave Anthony
I mean, the John Brown version. Yeah, but. But, yeah. Okay. So you just kind of ride around and don't really do anything.
Gareth Reynolds
Like, if I was ever. And this is the problem with the draft, when they want to do a draft.
Dave Anthony
The only problem if I.
Gareth Reynolds
If I'm. If I'm in there and you're asking me to kill, you know, unarmed, innocent
Dave Anthony
people from a country that we're invading,
Gareth Reynolds
Gonna start killing us. Like, that's what I'm doing.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm out. Because my mind is never going to survive massacring a village. So I'm done as a human. Like, you've.
Dave Anthony
Well, it's funny, if you ever watch any of those, like, you know, Vietnam war films, sometimes there is a guy like that, and you were always like, that guy lost his mind. It's like, that's the same guy. That's actually the guy who's like.
Gareth Reynolds
There was a lot of killing of
Dave Anthony
officers in Vietnam of officer on officer.
Gareth Reynolds
No, no.
Dave Anthony
Oh, yeah. Soldiers killing their superiors. Yeah, right.
Guest/Additional Voice
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
That was a big thing. So they entered the fray avoiding bullets, and basically spent the rest of the battle.
Dave Anthony
It is funny to imagine, like, again, I don't know what the higher power or the higher purposes of this life, but I mean, for God's sake, the plan was probably like, they'll all be sharing melons.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
And then instead we're like, they have nukes. Kill them.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. It's pretty cool when you put it, like, that, yeah.
Dave Anthony
It's like. Yeah. And then one guy takes all the melons.
Gareth Reynolds
Silence's managed to the fray avoiding bullets and basically spent the rest of the battle kind of moving up and down the riverbank acting like they were fighting, but mostly just watching in horror, knowing they couldn't stop what was happening. Silas described the massacre in a letter to Wine Coop. Quote, I tell you Ned, it was hard to see little children on their knees having their brains beat out by men professing to be civilized.
Dave Anthony
I'm just gonna flag the.
Gareth Reynolds
I'll tell you, I'm gonna leave out all this because this is, it's just, he's just, he's just describing the.
Dave Anthony
I'll tell you is kind of a very. Kind of like folksy. Yeah, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. I mean I'd never seen a six year old get her head cut off before. I tell you, it's a little too Rodney Dangerfield for me. I tell you, they were killing these kids indiscriminately. There's no respect.
Gareth Reynolds
So yeah, so the, the, the description he. I'm not going to read it all but it's. It's basically like what we've been breed years seeing a video. There was more carnage as well. Like so it's little.
Dave Anthony
You mean the chosen people defending their.
Gareth Reynolds
What he saw, there's, there's even more terrible. Like we're talking about just like gunning down kids and stuff like 3 year olds. Like, it's like, it's like what you'd. It's what you think.
Dave Anthony
It's, it's, it's interesting because I think we're getting close to the point where we're all capable of hearing it because if you're online you're like, oh yeah, yeah, I see it.
Gareth Reynolds
In the end, Some estimates say 300 natives were killed and the number could be significantly higher compared to 12 soldiers who were killed, many by friendly fire.
Dave Anthony
And man, the Fox News ification of those 12 after the battle they took 12 brave soldiers. Those sick, they're savage people.
Gareth Reynolds
They don't understand the monstrous acts didn't stop once the natives were dead. Quote, Buffalo robes and other personal items were the first things collected. Soon to be followed by souvenirs of an increasingly bizarre nature.
Dave Anthony
Well, before you get into what's probably going to be or be a nightmare list, let's just have a little enjoyment in the idea of again, I wouldn't want to kill the buffalo, but a buffalo robe, that has to be some fucking luxury.
Gareth Reynolds
Do you think it has the. The like, buffalo, the tie thing that you have on a robe? Like the.
Dave Anthony
I would hope. Yeah, I would imagine.
Guest/Additional Voice
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
I mean, I don't mind either way because I've always told you I love the open robe look. No bottoms. Open robe to me is a very comfortable look. No, I want back warm penis. Cold.
Gareth Reynolds
I would say if any robe would look great with. Dick out.
Dave Anthony
Buffalo.
Gareth Reynolds
Buffalo.
Dave Anthony
Unless, of course, you know, I. You don't want it to, you know, not cold.
Gareth Reynolds
Is this. Is this a bathrobe or a night robe?
Dave Anthony
I don't understand your.
Gareth Reynolds
What do you put on the buffalo robe?
Dave Anthony
What do you mean, bathrobe or night robe? What is a night robe? You mean like a smoking jacket?
Gareth Reynolds
I mean. No, a night robe is like a robe you're not using to get out of the bath. It's like you put on to be more comfortable.
Dave Anthony
I'm pretty indiscriminate with robes. My bathrobe, they're very different things. I'm starting to understand what you're talking about a little bit more, and I'm thinking it's a night robe.
Gareth Reynolds
Some more of a sexy robe.
Dave Anthony
Yes, more of a, like. Gary, welcome to the Playboy Mansion. There's some soft abuse occurring in here.
Gareth Reynolds
Playboy matches another one. Jesus Christ. So, you know, they took off fingers for the rings and they cut off ears for the. You know, all that. Virtually every corpse was scalped, quote, many repeatedly.
Dave Anthony
Is. Isn't. Wasn't that the thing we said that they did? Oh, yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Well, that was, you know, a big. That was another.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, yeah, we're the ones.
Gareth Reynolds
I mean, they probably did some. But then we.
Dave Anthony
Right. We were like, we'll show you how to scalp.
Gareth Reynolds
But we also went crazy with, like, the story, you know.
Dave Anthony
Right. Yeah, right, right.
Gareth Reynolds
They're mutilating private parts. They're would put them as decorations on hats.
Dave Anthony
Oh, my God.
Gareth Reynolds
Or saddles.
Dave Anthony
Now, we call that a bachelorette party.
Gareth Reynolds
I mean, we're. We're. When we call the people savages, we
Dave Anthony
are off, like you've said. I mean, we've seen in the past couple years this idea of, like, they did this, and it's like, oh, my. Wait a minute. What are you doing? This Edwards,
Gareth Reynolds
Chief White antelope, his privates was used as a tobacco pouch.
Dave Anthony
What say, Fred? Why are you holding a scrotum? It's actually what I keep my tobacco in now. Oh, that's pretty. That's kind of a red flag, isn't it?
Gareth Reynolds
I gotta say, you don't seem normal, sir.
Dave Anthony
Anyone Want a toot? Hey, friend, you want a toot? Say, what's that strange looking satchel? Why, it's a native American penis. I keep my tobacco in it.
Gareth Reynolds
That's why I keep my cocaine in this dick.
Dave Anthony
There we are.
Gareth Reynolds
Anyway, this dick was a famous man.
Dave Anthony
Anyone wanted toot from my dick. Weird. I mean, really like to come back to a regular civilization and be like, so if Alfred offers you some tobacco, say, no. He's keeping it in a ball bag. He's a bit dumb. He's not been the same since the massacre. Hello, friends.
Gareth Reynolds
It's the same thing we see now. The when you get there, you are no longer have any humanity left. Yeah, the you do is insane.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, it's insane. No. And that I. That there are 800 ways to slice the reason why war on this level should just simply not be occurring. And among them, you can even make the selfish argument, which is, do you want people who have absolutely no value for human life walking amongst you?
Gareth Reynolds
Re entering your society?
Dave Anthony
Is that really like where you're at?
Gareth Reynolds
Re entering?
Dave Anthony
You want someone in the grocery store thinking, this is a little boring?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, no, it's. It's like us. Society is so you.
Dave Anthony
These are all. It all comes home to roost over and over again.
Gareth Reynolds
That's where the Hell's Angels came from.
Dave Anthony
I kind of like those guys.
Gareth Reynolds
There's a bunch of dudes with ptsd. Okay, well, I'll just read this. Oh, quote, the command also relaxed from the battle after by shooting at the various now masterless stray dogs lurking around. And one trooper claimed to have seen men throwing them into the fires once they got home. The fighting parson started up his propaganda machine trying to parlay his actions into a promotion, claiming to his superiors that it was a quote, glorious victory.
Dave Anthony
Unbelievable, Unbelievable win. He also mentioned they've never seen dogs thrown in the fire like this before.
Gareth Reynolds
He also mentioned one soldier by name Silas Soul.
Dave Anthony
Oh, that quote, like he's. He's gonna give him credit.
Gareth Reynolds
I cannot conclude this report without saying that the conduct of Captain Silas Soul, Company D first Calvary of Colorado, was at least ill advised. Saying he. He's saying that he thanked God he killed no Indians and proving him more in sympathy with the Indians than the whites.
Dave Anthony
Brother, there's not you just. That is as good as it gets, I guess to that is accommodation. Really?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Of course, the move would have been to be like, boy, this guy was dog tossing like nobody I've ever seen before. I don't think this is his first time taking a penis and turning it into a toothpick sack.
Gareth Reynolds
I feel like he's got like 30 scrotum tobacco.
Dave Anthony
I'll be honest. I mean my throat is hoarse from saying Silas, chill out.
Gareth Reynolds
Stop with the nuts.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Enough.
Dave Anthony
This dude with salt and pepper shakers out of anuses. This guy was on fuego that that
Gareth Reynolds
is the way to undermine him.
Dave Anthony
But this guy's too dumb. This guy really thought it was like a bad call.
Gareth Reynolds
This guy hates massacring women and kids.
Dave Anthony
He didn't even kill a pregnant woman. This guy's a weirdo.
Gareth Reynolds
Silas wrote a letter to his mother where he described and what are you doing, Ma?
Dave Anthony
Hey, mom. In retrospect should have just stayed there. You good?
Gareth Reynolds
He relate to his mother where he described quote I was present at a massacre of 300 Indians, mostly women and children. It was a horrible scene and I would not let my company fire. He saw little children on their knees begging for their lives only to have their brains beat out like dogs.
Dave Anthony
Oh my God.
Gareth Reynolds
End the letter with reassurance for his mom Quote don't be, don't get too worried for there is not the least danger in the world of my getting killed. And as I am the most interested party, you shouldn't fret. I'll be okay.
Dave Anthony
The idea that he's.
Gareth Reynolds
I'll be fine.
Dave Anthony
Don't worry though. They're not going to kill me.
Gareth Reynolds
While Silas and his company stay to Fort Aion dealing with paperwork and scouting missions, the maniac killers led by fighting parson returned home to Ohio's welcome. They even held the parade down the main streets that featured the fighting person flying a live eagle attached to a pole like a kite.
Dave Anthony
I, I Honestly, Dave, I. It happens a lot. It's so depressing how similar it all remains. Just a hawk on a string. Idiots cheering for murder.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. But soon the real accounts of the massacre began to spread. So these people, these people generally thought like that they fought a battle, right?
Dave Anthony
And this is also what happens. They get ahead of it with like oh yeah, wow. The bravery.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Women and children were decimated. Bodies are mutilated. It was a horrific embarrassment. One colonel who had sympathy for the Cheyenne and was involved with the peace process was mortified. He wrote to the bigwigs back east about it. Some were livid that the massacre happened in the first place. And even some anti Indian superiors were mad because the fighting parson was too scared to attack the actual band of warriors at Smoky Hills.
Dave Anthony
There's also that, I guess. Yeah. You little weirdo. We really took down this group of women and children, man, are we storming. And the warriors, we left them alone. They're quite. They're very good with weapons. But we took their loved ones.
Gareth Reynolds
We blew up the whole. We bombed the girls school.
Dave Anthony
It was awesome. And dogs. I don't think they'll be a problem. Why is everyone kind of looking gloomy? What's going on?
Gareth Reynolds
Hey, you guys want to ban on a mule?
Dave Anthony
Huh?
Gareth Reynolds
No.
Dave Anthony
Anyone want a rolled cigarette? Here. This urethra spins out beautiful pre rolls.
Gareth Reynolds
Some members of Silas's battalion got word to a powerful judge who hated fighting. Parson. The judge wrote a letter that ended up being printed in the New York Herald saying the massacre was quote, one of the most monstrous in history. Three other prominent east coast newspapers also reprinted statements condemning the attacks. Congress then erupted with calls for an investigation which prompted.
Dave Anthony
That's the difference. That's the difference.
Gareth Reynolds
Which prompted the joint committee on the conduct of war to spring into action.
Dave Anthony
Senator Booker stood for 25 hours and talked about a bunch of.
Gareth Reynolds
The war Department was tasked with assembling a three person committee to hold hearings in Colorado and ultimately make the decision. Wine Coupe was put back in charge of Fort Leon and began his own investigation at the behest of the military. Less than a month later. Later, the fighting parson was officially discharged. Honorably, of course.
Dave Anthony
Of course.
Gareth Reynolds
Honorably, of course.
Dave Anthony
He served.
Gareth Reynolds
And he was replaced by Colonel Thomas Moonlight.
Dave Anthony
Hello.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm a weirdo.
Dave Anthony
I won't work in the evening.
Gareth Reynolds
Night soldier.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Hello.
Gareth Reynolds
A man with a small head that was almost entirely covered by a mustache.
Guest/Additional Voice
Hello.
Dave Anthony
That is such a great description.
Gareth Reynolds
See it? You can see it.
Dave Anthony
What's his name? Colonel Moonlight.
Gareth Reynolds
Thomas Moonlight.
Dave Anthony
I can't wait.
Gareth Reynolds
So he is also now tasked with investigating Sand Creek. He also had to deal with the retaliation from the natives. Yeah, because of course.
Dave Anthony
On what grounds?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, you do something like that, you're 100. Getting a lot of white people killed. Right?
Dave Anthony
Oh wow.
Gareth Reynolds
Let me see. Is it beautiful?
Dave Anthony
It. Well, he's definitely.
Gareth Reynolds
That is a big. That's a lot of hair.
Dave Anthony
It's. He's covered it. He actually has a beautiful head of hair.
Gareth Reynolds
As the year turned to January, up to a thousand warriors descended upon the stagecoach town of Julesburg. Yeah, that's a mustache. They ransacked the town killing some soldiers while they're at it. The Cheyenne in particular took out their frustrations and the nights were spent in celebration and scalp dances as some began to feel some sort of vengeance and closure after Sand Creek. So they. They did some killing.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. But that. But that is the where. That is retaliation.
Gareth Reynolds
Justified.
Dave Anthony
Justified. And that is. Right there is what. And in our country, in perpetuity, we used to justify further war and violence and killing.
Gareth Reynolds
Finally, S Is granted leave from Fort Leon and got a new assignment in Denver, where he was the chief deputy to top military cop in the area. And he began his stint policing the soldiers. So his reputation is split among the more bloodthirsty residents. Like the terrible, heinous 3rd Calvary Division. He was Persona non grata. But he was able to use his natural charm and presumably talent for accents to win some of his haters back.
Dave Anthony
Buddy, I was worried we were going to drop the baton there. I do like, just like. I understand you're here to try to investigate us. Well, listen, while I'm here to make sure everything's on the up and up. Hey, I said old mind a minute. Irish whiskey. That was me doing wonderful. Yes, Well, I don't also like a bit of vodka. That's another one of my characters. I try.
Gareth Reynolds
I can't.
Dave Anthony
Yes. So anyway, let's be friends.
Gareth Reynolds
Do you do Scottish?
Dave Anthony
Oh, I don't think so, but I don't mind doing a bit of Scottish.
Gareth Reynolds
Hello over here.
Dave Anthony
My name's Nigel McClunsman. And all of these characters are available to you as we go through what can only be a very tough time as we really look in the mirror. And we need to come up with some. But like my aunt would say, oh, you're not gonna get away with that one. That's. That's her.
Gareth Reynolds
What am I not gonna get away with?
Dave Anthony
Well, you're not gonna keep an eye on you because that was a really bad thing. If I did judge you for killing a bunch of people. Enclosed space, and they were just mainly women and children. And then you threw the dogs in the fire. That was not okay. After the end of that. I would want to reach for my vodka too, but it was a war crime.
Gareth Reynolds
Oh.
Dave Anthony
So we are gonna.
Gareth Reynolds
Because it's weird because you do the funny voices.
Dave Anthony
So we will be bringing you up on a tribunal. Oh, yeah. Okay. And hopefully we invite you guilty. Because what you've done is crazy.
Gareth Reynolds
I gotta be honest, it's making a little me a little more mad that you keep doing it in the voices because it's serious. Like, I'm. I'm.
Dave Anthony
There is a good chance that this will end in a punishment of your life.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. Yeah. Could you not do it with the
Dave Anthony
I'm a little boy with a balloon? That character? I'm working on a Little bit. He's a little boy with a balloon.
Gareth Reynolds
No, he's not Great. Okay.
Dave Anthony
I wrote a song about the way that we're going to end your life. We'll do it with a gun and a knife.
Gareth Reynolds
Wait. How we executed with a gun and a knife.
Dave Anthony
In that order maybe will be the way you go.
Gareth Reynolds
You going to shoot me and then stab me?
Dave Anthony
The order's backwards. But that's something that we know.
Gareth Reynolds
What was it hanging?
Dave Anthony
We will. Will use some rope. But in the meaning I said nope. Cause I thought that then the shooting and the knife could be more fun to end your life. Jesus. Yeah. I didn't write that one.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't like it at all.
Dave Anthony
I'm a little lost in where I am in the process. I understand
Gareth Reynolds
it didn't.
Dave Anthony
But he's like the Patch Adams of like capital punishment. I don't know. This guy showed up with a clown nose on and told me I was going to be thrown in water.
Gareth Reynolds
The dial up is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Are you sighing heavily?
Dave Anthony
I was doing like. I was calming myself to get into character.
Gareth Reynolds
Were you the sound of a Helix when the.
Dave Anthony
Oh. When you unfurl. I can do that.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, do it. Helix is a mattress, by the way.
Dave Anthony
Dad?
Gareth Reynolds
Yes, son. You're my new baby mattress. Helix Sleep, It's a mattress company. Look. They also make pillows and other stuff, but mattress is the main pillows thing. We are huge fans of Helix. I had pretty. We've been using Helix for years now. Previously my mattress. I got really hot in it. Sleeping in that. I wouldn't get inside of it. On top of it, I get hot. And then also some people get in their mattresses. That's not what they're designed for.
Dave Anthony
And nobody's done that.
Gareth Reynolds
Also I get lower backaches. Those are gone. I don't get any of that anymore. I use Helix.
Dave Anthony
Just miss the Helix when I'm not home.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
I'll miss my baby. No. But.
Gareth Reynolds
And let me tell you, I take good care of her while. While you're gone.
Dave Anthony
Quiet.
Gareth Reynolds
Helix has over 200 mattress models. So you can find the perfect model for you. We both use the same lusks.
Dave Anthony
We have the California Dust clocks.
Gareth Reynolds
And you get a good night rest. And. And you sleep like a. Like a small.
Dave Anthony
Like a babe.
Gareth Reynolds
Like a little animal. Like a little tiny. Like a. Like a cockatoo. Just in a bed.
Dave Anthony
That might be the worst pick for animals.
Gareth Reynolds
You know, when you lift up your. In the morning, you lift up your bed sheet and all the cockatoos are just really well rested.
Dave Anthony
Have you watched videos on animals?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, that's how they work. The cockatoos sleep. Cockatoos love a Helix mattress. Here's the deal with Helix. Free shipping, seamless delivery right to your door. And then you open it up and it comes and it comes to life in front of you. Which I said example of 120 night sleep trial. 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. And then the happy with Helix guarantee. So seamless returns and exchanges guarantee risk free customer first experience that's going to make you completely happy with your new mattress. And then it's award winning. Award winning. Helix is the most awarded mattress, brand tested, reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. And the dollop.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, we did a whole.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm a mat. I'm a mattress expert. I've been sleeping on it my whole life. Unlike you.
Dave Anthony
Strange. Strange shot.
Gareth Reynolds
Go go to helixsleep.com dollop for 20% off statewide. That's helixsleep.com dollar for 20 off statewide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you helixsleep.com dobbin tell him Dave sent you, not Gareth.
Dave Anthony
You don't need to tell him anything. It's the dollop.
Gareth Reynolds
Gareth. The dollop is also brought to you by himsed him sexual health.
Dave Anthony
Yes.
Gareth Reynolds
Look, so for some people something's been a little off in the bedroom. A lot of guys takes a little bit longer to get into the old action situation. But now tell you what, we got treatment for that. You can get it fixed. You can take care of the business 100 online and that's we're talking about hymns.
Dave Anthony
I like to when I if I was to go take some hymns, I would get up and go, excuse me. Well, I go slip into something a little more comfortable and then I take the hymns and then I just come back naked.
Guest/Additional Voice
What?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, I just wouldn't listen to Gareth. Edie is way more common than most guys. There's millions of guys are dealing with this at some point and that's why hims offers a really straightforward way to handle it. Just get on top of it. Don't let it fester. It's easy to take care of it.
Dave Anthony
Hey, why don't you get on top of it?
Gareth Reynolds
There's nothing scarier than Gareth coming to the room.
Dave Anthony
I'm gonna slip into something a little more comfortable and its name is Yu.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. After my hymns, there's all of it's done online. It's very simple.
Dave Anthony
Not the sex with your partner that's
Gareth Reynolds
in person that can be online too. And the provider will review your information to determine if treatment is right for you. And then if you get it prescribed, ships directly the door, discreet packaging so no one knows it's all good. Now they use sildenafil, which is generic for viagra. Up to 95% less than name brand. So bam. So, look, it's all very straightforward, transparent, designed to just get it done and make it easy.
Dave Anthony
Get it done.
Gareth Reynolds
So to get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED, weight loss and more, visit hims.comdal that's himss.comdalp for your free online. Visit hims.comdal Prescription required. See website for details and important safety information. Sildenafil is a generic version of Viagra. Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatris Specialty, llc. HIMSS Incorporated is not affiliated or with or endorsed by V Specialty, llc. Get it on, get it, get it going again. It didn't help that one of his first jobs was to confiscate everything that had been taken from the dead natives at Sand Creek, including the buffalo robes, livestock and jewelry.
Dave Anthony
And we're going to need you.
Gareth Reynolds
We're going to need the dick packing.
Dave Anthony
We're going to need. We're going to need your tobacco.
Gareth Reynolds
John, could you please just give me
Dave Anthony
the dick, not the tobacco.
Gareth Reynolds
No. Come on.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
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Sorry.
Dave Anthony
It's so funny at this point, it's such a good party thing. Everybody always thinks it's awesome when I
Sponsor/Ad Voice
do it like that.
Gareth Reynolds
Compromise.
Dave Anthony
Okay.
Gareth Reynolds
When the pouch is empty.
Dave Anthony
I just don't love those terms.
Gareth Reynolds
And the dick and the.
Dave Anthony
The ass. We're not taking the asshole. Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
You don't need that anymore.
Dave Anthony
I do, too.
Gareth Reynolds
I heard you're opening bottles with it.
Dave Anthony
Well, of course I am. It's perfect. It just got so hard.
Gareth Reynolds
He was a chief.
Dave Anthony
I know. And I think that helped. I really think the conviction that he had inside of him made it the perfect bottle opener.
Gareth Reynolds
I disagree.
Dave Anthony
It just sucks the top right off.
Gareth Reynolds
Don't ever say that again.
Guest/Additional Voice
Why?
Dave Anthony
Oh, come on. Here, let me roll you one. And here. Use the vagina light.
Gareth Reynolds
As Colonel Moonlight Devices plan, the men grew restless. Come February, there was a litany of minor eruptions of violence. Most of them resulting from junk. Guys playing with their guns. Yeah, and also guys who had done a fucking massive.
Dave Anthony
That the flag.
Gareth Reynolds
Finally, word came down. The men who would lead the investigation of the Sand Creek massacre was none other than Samuel Tappan, a longtime mentor of Silas, one of the main guys behind the investigation in the first place and the man whose position in Denver was stolen by the fighting parson back in their youth. Deliberations began on February 15, 1865. The first witness to testify, Silas Soul. Silas was grilled for two and a half days by the committee about everything he had witnessed. And Silas spared no details, painting a bloody picture of the gruesome raid on the peaceful village. Then the fighting parson at his turn with the cross examination. And they pointed out that Wynkoop began the peace process on his own, without instructions from superiors. They accused the peace party of being drunk the whole time. It's not a crime. No, it's back then. It's.
Dave Anthony
That's like a given.
Gareth Reynolds
Sorry. Was it?
Dave Anthony
What do you mean you were sober.
Gareth Reynolds
That's disgusting. Tuesday, in order to be.
Dave Anthony
You must be inebriated for such violence.
Gareth Reynolds
But tapping quickly got that line of questioning thrown out and they interrogated him for another days, trying to pick apart every detail of his story. But Silas held strong long even though his part was finished. The investigation dragged on for months and Silas began to worry about how his reputation might lead some of the more deranged Indian haters to murder him.
Guest/Additional Voice
Right.
Dave Anthony
Or as we call them now, Americans. You know, I guess that's really what. Sorry not to cut you, but I. I do think that that is the thing that is so absent now that like the satisfaction of an investigation for the wrong. Because the wrong is always going to occur with this system. There used to just be some version investigations like where you'd be like, maybe we'll get like it was never satisfying enough. But with the things that are going on now, it's just like the Justice Department is, you know, investigates the Justice
Gareth Reynolds
Department and yeah, the, The. The. The woman who accused Trump of rape when she was 13 is now being investigated.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Yep, perfect. Just someday I hope there will be.
Gareth Reynolds
It's not going to happen. Even though. Even though this. This part finished, the investigation went over. Oh, I already did this quote. During a buggy ride to Central City, Silas confided in Captain George Price, the district inspector and several year acquaintance, that he fully expected to be killed because of his actions at Sand Creek and his testimony. He added that afterward his character would be further assassinated and his credibility destroyed. Something the fighting parson was already attempting to do. Silas was accused of plotting the attack to steal buffalo skin robes.
Dave Anthony
Oh, that's. Dude, this is so now.
Gareth Reynolds
And lies.
Dave Anthony
He was really trying to take all
Gareth Reynolds
the robes and lies were spread that he planted Evidence of brutality at the scene of the massacre before the inspector arrived. So it would look worse.
Dave Anthony
100. Well, I mean, look, it's so dumb. It's so dumb during like a massacre on that level to be like, he put a bloody knife out there.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
He came.
Gareth Reynolds
What, came to the battle with 40 ears?
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
And he threw them about.
Dave Anthony
Just the scattering fake ears.
Gareth Reynolds
It's just so crazy. Silas V denied these falsehood in letters to headquarters. People even took shots at him, literally from the guns, possibly missing on purpose, but instilling the real possibility of death. However, even though he feared for his life, there was one thing Silas could not hide from his love of doing Irish accents.
Dave Anthony
This.
Gareth Reynolds
He led the band down the main streets.
Dave Anthony
He's probably like down now for the
Gareth Reynolds
local St. Patty's Day parade. Busting out his classic Irish bro and singing for the people. The Rocky Mountain News took the time to thank them for their good taste and generosity for a glorious serenade.
Dave Anthony
Oh, when the saints come marching in the saints come marching in when they're crying.
Gareth Reynolds
Hirsa Koberly moved with her family to Colorado from Iowa in 1860. The COBRA lease opened a rest stop for weary soldiers and stagecoaches, which became very popular watering hole for troops going from Denver to the plains. Father and son would play fiddle for the visitors, while Hrsa, her mom and her sister, quote, would serve as waitresses, sing and dance, and generally break the hearts of lonely troopers. Hrsa was known as an energetic young woman, full of life and blessed with a devilish charm and wit. All the boys wanted to dance with her and Silas was one of those boys. The local papers caught wind and reported, quote, a captain of the first and a witty young lady at a stopping place, implying romance between the two.
Dave Anthony
Well, he's got. Listen, I'm gonna. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna peel the curtain back here for a minute. Okay? Here we go. Quiet and tell you that, look, if you've got the accents, you got the wit, you can sing a song. You're gonna thaw the. The icy outside of any potential server. But in a situation like this is. Sorry, buddy.
Guest/Additional Voice
Just.
Dave Anthony
It's a matter of time, dude. Sorry.
Gareth Reynolds
Sorry about.
Dave Anthony
Sorry that you're so offended by this. Yeah, you can go there and depress them about. I can do a pun in an accent that is maybe a song. You know what I'm saying? So what?
Gareth Reynolds
No, I got nothing to say. It referred. The story referred to Silas as, quote, that inveterate encyclopedia of antidote and exaggeration, if not an amplifier of the truth. You're absolutely not an amplifier of the truth.
Dave Anthony
I 100% am. That's all I do.
Gareth Reynolds
That's never what you do.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, it is.
Gareth Reynolds
Shortly before the Sand Creek massacre, her father was killed in a skirmish, possibly with natives. This led to the eldest son. This led the eldest son to participate in the massacre.
Dave Anthony
This is a tough bet. This is a tough. Hitting on this person is tough. Her father's killed by them. Her brother fought in it, and you're still like, I'm up against the ropes. I know what to do. Well, I don't know if I like the attitude of your family.
Gareth Reynolds
So she moved to Denver, and once there, her romance was Silas blossomed and she brought him home to her mother, who may have been the only person in the world immune to his charms.
Dave Anthony
I've had. I've had that.
Gareth Reynolds
Likely because of his reputation from Sandy Creek.
Dave Anthony
I've run up against that.
Gareth Reynolds
I bet you have.
Dave Anthony
That's happened.
Gareth Reynolds
But also because you have a terrible reputation for being.
Dave Anthony
Go ahead.
Gareth Reynolds
What would it say? A false flag massacre creator.
Dave Anthony
What?
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
What are you talking about?
Gareth Reynolds
They're saying that he did a false flag. Yeah.
Dave Anthony
I don't have that.
Gareth Reynolds
And that's what you are.
Dave Anthony
No, I'm not a false flag. Never done a false flag. You pretend I've never even done a real flag.
Gareth Reynolds
You pretend there are massacres all the time. You're like the massacre guy.
Dave Anthony
I mean, I do look, maybe once. I don't remember specifically how many times
Gareth Reynolds
you get on the road and you come with a pocket full of ears, ready to go.
Dave Anthony
Well, that's for Luke to snack on.
Gareth Reynolds
Thursday, March 30, the couple attended the theater. They saw either Orphan of Geneva Deadshot or Miriam's crime. The next day, they decided to tie the knot. Married in the morning. Silas, always the jokester, got married at 8am on April Fool's Day. Oh, you've done it again.
Dave Anthony
I. I don't know if this is a legal marriage.
Gareth Reynolds
Is that Shatner?
Dave Anthony
I don't know if we're actually wet.
Gareth Reynolds
They quickly moved into a house on Curtis street where they were the perfect pair. The news reported that Silas was, quote, doing better, apparently, than ever before. The newspaper further wished the soul name would spread and flourish like the branches of a green bay tree.
Dave Anthony
I love a green bay tree. Gross. Cheese.
Gareth Reynolds
Gross. In April of 1865 came the undoing of the Confederacy's war for slavery. And Lee surrendered. And celebrations filled the streets of Denver. Partiers reveling in the end of the bloody affair. And Then suddenly it was all turned upside down when John Wilkes Booth went out for a night at the theater. This guy Denver, like the rest of the decent parts of the country, mourn the loss of Abraham Lincoln, things slow down like the entire union was stuck in molasses. For his part size is about to be reassigned to perhaps another promotion. So he was stuck idling for the moment as well.
Dave Anthony
When the, when Wilkes Booth killed Lincoln that was like. The country felt like it was sort of healing to some extent. And then he did that and then I was like, Jesus Christ, we're never gonna be okay.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, we're never gonna make it.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Gareth Reynolds
Sore losers. Yeah, this is why we should have killed them all.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, this is why we should have stopped actors.
Gareth Reynolds
Starting with the actors.
Dave Anthony
Yeah, but that Would your version of it be where we just. They just all were gone? I mean it's like, no, I mean
Gareth Reynolds
you can't massacre them all but I mean you could. But I really believe taking away all their property and giving it to other people, particularly the slaves, would have been the way to go in April 23, 1865. For a Freaky Friday free Friday on April 23, 1865, Silas and Hrsa attended a small get together at a friend's house. At about 9:30 they made the trek back home. Silas was about to encounter, perhaps not for the first time, a private of the 2nd Colorado Calvary Division and a multiple time army dropout in ex con, Charles Squire.
Dave Anthony
This is, this is going to put Silas's ability to use accents and improv to the ultimate test. Because if it seems like a would be assassin, this is, this is a tiny stage, but still one you have to find your way on.
Gareth Reynolds
Squire was drunk hanging out with a dark haired farm boy from Kentucky named Morrow and they wanted to have some fun. So naturally they just started shooting their guns all over the place. Sure. Silas got word and hurried Hrsa home so he could deal with it in his capacity as a leader of the military police. As Silas turned the corner onto comes
Dave Anthony
back and puts on like, puts in like fake teeth and glasses. Honey, you stay here. I'll be right back. Don't worry and don't wait up for me.
Gareth Reynolds
Putting on those fake Chinese eyeglasses.
Dave Anthony
Honey, I don't know if that's right. Don't do the voice. I won't, baby.
Gareth Reynolds
As he turned the corner onto F Street and Arapaho, the three. I love that they've named a street after the Native Americans. Just there's already.
Dave Anthony
There's Already an Arapaho street, we really are the worst.
Gareth Reynolds
The three men came face to face about four feet apart. And they froze. Silas reached down into his pocket and grasped. Grasped his derringer. Seconds ticked by that felt like hours. And suddenly a flash of movement and two shots fired. One of the bullets ripped through Squire's right hand, obliterating tendons and bone, and he dropped to his gut. He. He dropped his gun. But he would not need it because Silas soul was dead on the ground. Quote, the Colt's bullet hammered into the face of Silas, penetrating under the right cheekbone and burrowing deep through his brain cells until it slammed into a halt of the back of his head. Thrown backward by the impact, Silas landed hard on the ground as his brain hemorrhaged. And he took his last breath. Death. His advisory left his gun behind and. Sorry. His adversary left his gun behind and joined his already fleeing comrade, his wounded hand leaving a trail of blood as they fled. Silas Soul, a Jayhawker soldier, newlywed and not yet 27.
Dave Anthony
Oh my God.
Gareth Reynolds
Lay lifeless on the street, a victim of moral courage that ruled his life. A crowd started to form and a doctor was quickly dispatched.
Dave Anthony
That's the saddest part.
Gareth Reynolds
Heart.
Dave Anthony
What do you need to do to save him, Doc?
Gareth Reynolds
We new head.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Okay.
Dave Anthony
How long will that take?
Gareth Reynolds
That's a while. We don't have the.
Dave Anthony
So he's in surgery right now. We're just trying to find a new head.
Gareth Reynolds
He had died instantly. Immediately, word spread, several soldiers arrived and lifted his dead body toward the sky. Carrying his lifeless corpse to district headquarters. The killers are treated they irony to their company camp where they admitted their crime. But possibly because of Silas's reputation as a native sympathizers, they were not detained.
Dave Anthony
Unbelievable, dude. A native sympathizer.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
I mean, to just simply be like. Yeah, that was like ungodly.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Devoid of morals. Just an absolute crime against existence. And people like this guy's got a soft spot for non white.
Gareth Reynolds
This guy, he deserved it.
Dave Anthony
You know, one time I offered him a toot from my native's dick and he turned it down.
Gareth Reynolds
No, I don't. That's. That's just a weird thing to say right now. It's all.
Dave Anthony
Well, it's just. Just it.
Gareth Reynolds
You're trying to get me to sympathize with the killer, but then you're bringing up the. The dick full of what's in it.
Dave Anthony
Well, which one?
Gareth Reynolds
Which dick?
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
I don't know.
Dave Anthony
This one. I got to back her in. This one's for snooting. This one's just got. Just salt.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
And then this is various spices here.
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
Dave Anthony
And this one I have actually. You. I put my dick in it.
Gareth Reynolds
Thank you. We actually didn't need to question you anymore.
Dave Anthony
Thanks.
Gareth Reynolds
You know, we've got all the information we need.
Dave Anthony
I haven't even shown you the one I put my gun in. Thank you. You what? Thank me what?
Gareth Reynolds
We're good.
Dave Anthony
Want to see my impression of Gonzo?
Gareth Reynolds
Nope.
Dave Anthony
All right. Did you guys say something? I was leaving. I thought you all called me back.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Nope.
Gareth Reynolds
Gareth. The summer changes how I dress. I just. I start dressing differently. I want. I want lighter clothes. I want breathable, easy. Looks good, right? Look, you know I look good.
Dave Anthony
I know what you're talking about. I've never been someone who was like, hey, you need different clothes for this type of time. With Quince, it actually makes sense, the items they're offering. I don't know if it's that I'm getting older or quince is getting better. I got some shorts and a shirt from Quince for the spring summer season. And I was like, this is right.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, I got. I got linen pants and shirts.
Dave Anthony
I've kind of got a linen guy.
Gareth Reynolds
I have a lean in a linen now.
Dave Anthony
I'm a lean into linen.
Gareth Reynolds
I'm a leaning. I'm leaning linen. Summer linen quints, European linen pants and shirts are perfect for the. The hot summer weather. And they started just $34.
Dave Anthony
Can't say enough about how much I love qu. I pretty much only wear quints.
Gareth Reynolds
That's it. My wife went crazy when she saw that I was quincing because she's a big quincer. Te's very soft, lightweight cotton sweaters, perfect for cool summer nights. Everything. At Quints, it's going to be priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.
Dave Anthony
They're aware of the environment. They work with local people. It's all cheaper than it would be with other companies. The quality's high. They're having a moment, and I don't mind having them all over my body.
Gareth Reynolds
So we're quint. We're quincers. As we said. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com stop for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
Dave Anthony
Listen to the quince tuplets, now available.
Gareth Reynolds
Canada too. That's Q U-I-N C E.com dollar for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com dollop if you build things online,
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Gareth Reynolds
moral fled and disappeared. We never heard from him again. Squire ran to New Mexico the next morning. The entire city was buzzing about the tragedy. The rocky mountain news and Blackhawk journal both had pieces about the unfairness. It was an untimely end. Weincoop and other friends of Silas were certain that the fighting person had paid Squire to bait Silas with the gunshot so he could assassinate him. Tappan wrote in his diary that, quote, the barbarism of Sandy Creek has culminated in the assassination of captain Soul. This wasn't just grief fueled speculation. The fighting parson had actually offered today's equivalent of $10,000 to anyone who killed natives or their sympathizers.
Dave Anthony
I mean, yeah, just endless, endless nightmares.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
So the way that we can leverage money for morals, it's really crazy.
Gareth Reynolds
On April 26, most of Denver showed up to St. John's as the procession left the church, they were led by Silas's band playing his favorite Irish songs.
Dave Anthony
Sad without him being able to.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Really.
Gareth Reynolds
That's completely different parade.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
Despite the fact that Abe link his funeral train was also occurring at the same moment.
Dave Anthony
Ah.
Gareth Reynolds
The paper said Silas's funeral was, quote, the finest ever seen in the land.
Dave Anthony
The same day as Lincoln.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
That's a weird call.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Give me a day before or after, right? Yeah. I don't need the same day. You know what I mean? Like, I remember one time I was doing a show in Montana and, like, I was feeling good about everything. And then people like, Trevor Noah's here and he's doing the amphitheater.
Gareth Reynolds
I was like, what about when we're on tour in Australia and we're going up against the AFL game?
Dave Anthony
Yeah, that won't happen again.
Gareth Reynolds
The investigation into Sandy Creek Boron, the fighting person, brought in men who claimed Silas was drunk and cowardly and even stole a man's blanket. What? A blanket.
Dave Anthony
Then the people were like, blanket? That's a pretty good idea.
Gareth Reynolds
The accusations were all plainly false and subsequently thrown out. The hearings finally came to a close on May 30 when it halted with a whimper. The fighting person had already been honorably discharged, along with the major who led the massacre. The only man left to face any repercussions was governor Evans, who was forced to resign. Squire was found in New Mexico by a group of civilians who noticed him acting strange. He was captured with great fanfare and marched back to Denver, stopping along the way at Tappan's fort, what can only be assumed was a massive beating. Good Squire was thrown in jail where he waited for what felt like forever for his court martial. It turns out his brother was a big wig in international railroads. So he called it every favor he could to get Squire off. Soon after, the man who captured Squire and brought him to Denver was found dead of a morphine overdose in a brothel.
Dave Anthony
Huh.
Gareth Reynolds
After months of wearing away though. After buds are wearing big iron shackles and being eaten by lice, a court martial dates bait was set. Two nights before the court martial, a few men broke into the back of the jail, pegging the lock. Once inside, they used a chisel to remove the shackles and spirited Squire out of the door. While two of the accomplices were captured. Squire made it out and remained free. Silas Souls remembered with a plaque at the site of his murder. It honors how he quote, disobeyed orders by refusing to fire on chief black kettles peaceful Cheyenne and Arapo village. It ends his murders were never brought to justice. Written by Josh Androwski Sources solace Silas Soul a short eventful life of moral courage by Tom Bensing, the Rocky Mountain News, the Commonwealth and the Black Hawk Daily Miner.
Dave Anthony
Man, it's just so. Yeah, I don't know. I. I don't. How do you maintain a sense of. And I'm not even asking you because I know that it's. You don't. You're. You're done. But every now and then I, I do kind of hover around some version of. Not optimism, but a little like hope of something. But when you realize how repetitive it
Gareth Reynolds
all is, there's no different. Well, okay, so a great sort of modern day version of this is Colin Powell, right? The massacre. Mei.
Dave Anthony
He.
Gareth Reynolds
He was the guy who hid it and made sure nothing came of it and made sure that no one was ever really punished. Like, he's. He's that guy. And there he is, right? Living large hero, but he's leading us into more war. But he's the guy who, who. Who made sure that Sandy Sand Creek wasn't like a terrible well.
Dave Anthony
And it's also like if you know, when there are things like in our recent history, when there are things like the Panama papers or you know, like water, any of those things, those. The moment of, hey, let's actually have this kind of come to Jesus as a country where, you know, wow, things are so up, it is immediately the forces of evil are pretending that they're taking note, but meanwhile they're just simply planning better for the future. And you know when you get to like, like I was talking about Abu Ghraib the other day with somebody and you're just like, man, that. That was such a moment to. To just say, hey, this is. This is not like, this is off. You're going to jail for the things that you've. Now you've put us in this position for these sort of things, and instead they're. The evil side is able to lie their way out of it.
Gareth Reynolds
It.
Dave Anthony
And then we never have any cleanup or any reflection, and it's just repeating to the point now where you just go, yeah, I mean, like, this guy is just going to be able to do whatever the he wants because we've never done the re. We've never done the correction version of this in my lifetime.
Gareth Reynolds
Well, there, you know, there's all this stuff about, like, you know, Trump profiting off of all this.
Dave Anthony
Right. He hasn't made a dime.
Gareth Reynolds
But. But, like, Democrats could admit a big debt in this stuff if, like, they punished Cheney for, you know, his Halliburton contracts and. And destroying a country to make money and rebuild it with, you know, the profits.
Dave Anthony
Yep.
Gareth Reynolds
Or even his buddies, like, whatever it was. But, like, you know, he. He was the CEO or vice president of Halliburton. It was. And then he, like, leaves. But, you know, then Halliburton gets all the contracts. Well, it's the same. It's the same.
Dave Anthony
It's the. The line.
Gareth Reynolds
It's.
Dave Anthony
The line is smaller in between now, but it also, it was so obvious then.
Gareth Reynolds
And. And a big. And another big problem is, is, like, I, like, Newsom tweeted something out yesterday, like, listing, like, all this corruption that Trump has done. And he goes, that's just the last week. And it's like, buddy, I watched your corruption on full display during COVID You delayed the shots for everybody so your Blue Cross could end up taking the contracts and making all the money. So you. Now you're in a quandary of you, like, that guy's crop and all the people that you need to commit to, like, yeah, so are you. Because he is. Sorry. You're on a different level of corruption. Your side of the street needs to be clean. Your side of the street needs to be clean. Yes. You need to point it out.
Dave Anthony
Yes.
Gareth Reynolds
That's it.
Dave Anthony
Yes.
Gareth Reynolds
And if your side of the street isn't clean, you don't get to point out.
Dave Anthony
So.
Gareth Reynolds
So all. But all this stuff with, like, it's very easy with these war crimes. We're now talking about the. The side. We need to do something. Their side of the street's not clean either.
Dave Anthony
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
So. So you have these massacres Happening all the time now.
Dave Anthony
Yeah. Well, you can't. I mean, it's difficult. Like the you. We would. If your side profits off of insider trading and your side is also getting mad at the other side for. Yeah. Unfettered corruption. You still are unable. You're not going to be on. You can't have that argument if someone makes $200 million when they're in office.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
That's also not okay.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
But the. The Cheney point is true because there is. Every time a war criminal dies of natural causes.
Gareth Reynolds
It's a lot.
Dave Anthony
The ability to get society or anything back on track moves further and further away from our grasp.
Gareth Reynolds
Absolutely.
Dave Anthony
And like the fact that Henry Kissinger was able to just die. The number one, Dick Cheney was just able to die. That George W. Bush is just going to die painting dogs. Yeah. That. All these things. It's just.
Gareth Reynolds
And when Bush dies, he'll be.
Dave Anthony
It'll be. It is going to be an intolerable experience.
Gareth Reynolds
Totally.
Dave Anthony
It's going to be impossible for people like us to be involved in media because the news will eulogize him. Elevate. I mean it truly. If Hitler ran America and he died in the year 2026, we would simply call him like a man. A controversial figure who reinvented the mustache and had a passion for dogs. No.
Gareth Reynolds
Pretty much
Dave Anthony
patreon.com the dollop. You have any dates you want to promote or.
Gareth Reynolds
No, I don't. I'm not going on any dates. I'm married.
Dave Anthony
Some of us aren't too happy about it either.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
What?
Dave Anthony
Become a bit of a problem?
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Problem.
Dave Anthony
All right, well, there you go. That's. Yeah. So we'll just move on with our lives and.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
Just.
Gareth Reynolds
It all goes on.
Dave Anthony
It's fine. And, you know, gas. That's been a real.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Fun.
Dave Anthony
What do you think is the deal with French dressing? They don't have that dressing over there. We call it French with Russian dressing. Yeah. No, I agree. Agree completely.
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
Dave Anthony
That is so funny you said that.
Guest/Additional Voice
Yeah.
Gareth Reynolds
And are there really a thousand islands? I don't think there are.
Dave Anthony
Or. Hey, where's that Hidden Valley? There's an address on the bottle.
Gareth Reynolds
What are you putting. What are you putting Greeks in the actual, like actual Greek people?
Dave Anthony
You lost me, sister.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
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Podcast: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Date: June 16, 2026
Host: All Things Comedy
Episode Theme:
Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds take a dark and unflinching look at the later life, moral courage, and tragic fate of Civil War-era abolitionist Silas Soule, focusing on his role at the Sand Creek massacre, the aftermath, and his assassination. True to Dollop form, they juxtapose a harrowing story with irreverent humor, voices, and personal asides.
The episode picks up with part three of Silas Soule’s story — a Union soldier and fervent abolitionist who became a key whistleblower for one of the most notorious massacres of Native Americans: Sand Creek. Dave recounts the increasing moral horror Soule faced, his resistance to the slaughter, the hellish aftermath for him and the community, the farcical and tragic nature of military "justice," and Soule’s eventual assassination, all underscored by the hosts' trademark blend of biting commentary and absurdist riffing.
On Moral Courage
On the Absurdity of Justifications
On Systemic Corruption
On Failure of Justice
On Historical Patterns
Dave and Gareth mix gallows humor and roleplay with serious moral analysis, reflecting on the recurring blindness of American power structures to their own violence. The discussion is blunt, unsparing, and darkly funny, using contemporary analogies to drive home the continuing relevance of these historical injustices.
In a quintessential Dollop episode, Dave and Gareth dissect the life and legacy of Silas Soule—a man whose moral courage led him to resist and ultimately bear witness to one of America’s greatest crimes, at the cost of his own life. The hosts eviscerate the machinery of denial and violence that destroyed him and explore, with biting sarcasm, how the cycle of atrocity and impunity continues to reverberate today. The story is as tragic and enraging as it is urgent—a stark look at the price of conscience in a corrupt system.