742 - Alexander Hamilton - Part Three

Summary

The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds
Episode 742 – Alexander Hamilton: Part Three
Release Date: July 14, 2026

---

Overview

This third installment in The Dollop’s account of Alexander Hamilton’s life delves into the post-Constitution years, highlighting Hamilton’s maneuvering in early American government, his controversial economic agendas, scandals (notably the Maria Reynolds affair), and his deeply antagonistic relationships with Jefferson, Madison, and Burr. As usual, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds weave in constant wit and irreverent banter, approaching the Founding Fathers less as marble statues and more as messy, flawed, and deeply human historical figures—while also criticizing the Hamilton musical’s mythologizing revisionism.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Central Bank and Constitutional Interpretation

• Implied Powers Debate (04:49–05:18): Hamilton’s creation of the central bank and his broad “implied powers” reading of the Constitution set him at odds with Jefferson, Madison, and other strict constructionists.
  • Dave Anthony: "Which is an amazing starting point. To be like, now we can break... We can bend the laws" (05:18).
  • Social media reactions to modern depictions of Hamilton and the Hamilton musical.
• Jefferson and Madison's "Botanizing Tour" (07:59–09:08): The “botanizing tour” was, in reality, an opposition rally against Hamilton’s economic schemes, despite their cover story about studying native plants.
  • Gareth Reynolds: "They were actually in truth rallying opposition to Alexander Hamilton's government plans." (08:21)
• Fear of Monarchy: Jefferson’s suspicion that Hamilton was plotting to reintroduce monarchy, viewing the Constitution as disposable:
  • Jefferson on Hamilton: He’d heard Hamilton say the Constitution was “only a good step until something better” (09:26).

2. Early Political Partisanship and Factionalism

• Birth of Political Parties (21:00–22:23): Madison’s essays frame a case for “the anti-Hamiltonian party,” illustrating the early explosion of partisan politics.
  • Gareth Reynolds: "He proudly called the Democratic Republican Party the anti-Hamiltonian party." (21:56)
• Relentless Publishing: Alexander and Madison battled through dozens of essays and polemics; Hamilton’s mania for publishing is a recurring joke throughout.
  • Dave Anthony: “Dude, someone just cut this guy’s hands off.” (62:03)

3. Manufacturing, Labor & Social Order

• Report on Manufacturers (14:12–18:35):
  • Hamilton advocates government-directed subsidies, regulations, use of immigrant labor, and, astonishingly, child labor.
  • Gareth Reynolds: "He was especially into women and children working." (16:58)
  • Dave Anthony: “The idea that he’s like... And the way to do it is through little boys and women.” (17:13)
• Comparison to Modern Times: They note how eerily familiar Hamilton’s system is to today’s economic order.

4. Dangerous Foreign Entanglements

• Secret British Negotiations (Code Name “Seven”) (23:19–29:44): Hamilton (dubbed “Seven”) surreptitiously negotiated with Britain against Washington’s wishes and revealed confidential information, which skirted treason.
  • Dave Anthony: “He's fully like a traitor.” (23:54)

5. Sex Scandal: The Maria Reynolds Affair

• Affair and Blackmail (31:45–41:00): Hamilton’s affair with Maria Reynolds leads to blackmail by her husband and almost destroys his reputation.
  • Gareth Reynolds: "So he goes to the house, knocks on the door at night, quote, she met me and conducted me into a bedroom." (33:12)
  • Hamilton continues the affair even while paying hush money and getting tangled in congressional investigations trying to clear his name from financial impropriety.
• Grotesque Confession (99:03–104:00): Years later, rather than keep quiet, Hamilton torpedoes his own reputation by publishing a lengthy, graphic public confession of the affair, supposedly to prove he wasn’t corrupt—humiliating himself and Eliza.
  • Gareth Reynolds: "He divulged every dirty detail, which was read by Eliza and everyone they knew..." (102:56)
  • Friends found this tactic “humiliating in the extreme.” (102:54)

6. Manipulating and Bullying Leadership

• Controlling Washington (48:11–51:32): Hamilton manipulates Washington with dire warnings to keep him from retirement, ensuring his influence continues.
  • Alexander’s pitch: Not running would be “the greatest evil that could befall the country.” (49:09)
• French Revolution: Hamilton is horrified by the revolution in France; Jefferson cheers it on. Their positions harden partisan divides in the US.

7. Suppressing Dissent: The Whiskey Rebellion

• Escalating the Crisis (65:11–77:43): Hamilton engineers the infamous whiskey tax, sparking armed resistance among frontier farmers who used whiskey as currency. When they resist, Hamilton calls them traitors, demands military action, and rides out to personally oversee the crushing of the rebellion—only for the farmers to surrender without violence.
  • Dave Anthony: "He whipped up bloodlust amongst the troops. And he said those unwilling to pay the tax were, quote, wicked insurgents." (75:21)

8. Character Defects and Legacy

• Relentless Grudge-holder (91:21): Hamilton’s inability to forgive even minor slights or accept dissent is roasted repeatedly.
• Hypergraphia & Melodrama: The hosts mock his hundreds of essays, open letters, polemics, and self-indulgent reputation management.
  • Gareth Reynolds: "From all indications, he did love his wife and family a lot."
  • Dave Anthony: "No, he didn’t. He never saw her. He was the neighbors or writing..." (86:18)
• Parallels to Modern Politics: Hamilton’s behaviors are frequently compared to contemporary political figures who seek personal power, suppress dissent, or are enabled by older, deteriorating leaders.
  • Dave Anthony: "He’s so Stephen Millery. I don’t mean to overuse that, but it’s very much like a little twerp acting for selfish reasons..." (88:25)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Child Labor:
  • Dave Anthony: “This is a psychotic man. The idea that he’s like, And the way to do it is through little boys and women.” (17:13)
• On the Hamilton Musical’s Whitewashing:
  • Gareth Reynolds: “You cannot argue that this did not holistically change the opinion of a generation about a guy who actually is a huge problem.” (07:46)
• On Hamilton’s Patronizing to Lower Classes:
  • Gareth Reynolds: “Don’t go talk to the mud people.” (10:01)
• On Hamilton’s Reputation Obsession:
  • Gareth Reynolds: “He couldn’t help himself. ‘I am obliged to punish — to publish everything.’ Everything sure is a play-by-play of his affair with Maria Reynolds.” (100:17)
• On Political Gaslighting:
  • Dave Anthony: “There it is... You hate America, let us go into Iraq. You hate the troops. You hate everything... Never ends. We’ve always been meant to have Jesse Waters.” (62:50)
• On Essay Mania:
  • Dave Anthony: “Dude, someone just cut this guy’s hands off.” (62:03)

---

Timed Highlights

• 05:18 – Debate over implied powers and constitutional interpretation.
• 14:12–18:35 – Hamilton’s report on manufacturing, child labor, and labor policy.
• 23:19–29:44 – Hamilton’s secret British negotiations, code name “Seven.”
• 31:45–41:00 – The Maria Reynolds affair and blackmail.
• 48:11–51:32 – Hamilton manipulates Washington’s decision not to retire.
• 65:11–77:43 – The Whiskey Rebellion, Hamilton’s escalation and military response.
• 86:49–87:47 – Hamilton’s massive essay-writing efforts to sway public opinion on the Jay Treaty.
• 99:03–104:00 – Hamilton publishes his sexual confession in exhaustive, humiliating detail.
• 111:02–113:28 – Duel threats and comic escalation between Hamilton and Monroe, managed by Aaron Burr.

---

Tone & Language

• Tone: Irreverent, highly comedic, and profane. Dave and Gareth oscillate between historical analysis and absurd improvisational riffs (e.g., sex act names, mock dramatic readings, recurring jabs at the “Hamilton” musical).
• Language: Contemporary, sarcastic, and frequently explicit, staying true to The Dollop’s signature style of lampooning both historic figures and modern pop culture.

---

Conclusion

Part three of The Dollop’s takedown of Alexander Hamilton positions him not as a romanticized, misunderstood genius, but as a self-obsessed, power-striving reactionary whose policies and personal conduct haunt American politics to this day. The hosts draw sharp lines between the sanitized “Hamilton” musical narrative and the grim, sometimes farcical reality, lampooning both the Founding Father and his Broadway apologists while providing deep, satirical insight into the early republic’s chaos and vanity.

---

Sources Referenced

• Multiple biographies and historical works listed at episode end, including Ron Chernow’s Alexander Hamilton, Christian Parenti’s Radical Hamilton, Nancy Isenberg’s Fallen Founder, and others.

---

For Further Listening

• To continue the chronicle, listen for episode 743, likely covering “Part Four” as Hamilton’s political career and rivalry with Aaron Burr (and its fatal outcome) approach their climax.

Transcript

[Dave Anthony]

I'm Kiana. And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Start your free [e-mail].

[Dave Anthony]

dave before we get to this phenomenal part three, I would like to remind everyone, if you want to see a screening of my film, give it up. July 28, North Hollywood, 7pm I doubt that. The Lemley. You can go to giveitupfilm.com which is Squarespace. Join us. People are calling it the greatest movie since Jaws.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I'll be in Arizona at a baseball tournament.

[Dave Anthony]

You'll be there. Dave will be there. There'll be a Q and A after. Enjoy this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My father's dead. You killed him.

[Dave Anthony]

They think that I'm shiny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am a pie man.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm Pete Rose, and I only go to Gold's Gym. This one specifically.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rumor is that his penis is broken

[Dave Anthony]

and show up where the taco bar was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His brain just fucking exploded.

[Dave Anthony]

River of cheese. You been drinking any gnome juice? No, officer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My dad had a fart chair.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, cover me. You're listening, doll. Good cover.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're listening to the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast, Reach Week. I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to Dexter.

[Dave Anthony]

What? Gareth Reynolds. That's really tough to work with. Who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was serving with a common friend of ours yesterday.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And as we were getting in our cars, leaving, he goes, say hi to Dexter. And I go, who's Dexter? He goes, your podcasting partner, Dexter.

[Dave Anthony]

Who is this person?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Murray?

[Dave Anthony]

Valerie. Now, how's Murray gonna dog me like?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I just laughed. I go, I'll tell him that. And he goes, yeah, go ahead. Tell him exactly that.

[Dave Anthony]

Murray. We're enemies. And you know what Dexters do to enemies, don't you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're a Dexter.

[Dave Anthony]

What? I don't care. Like I said, I'm done caring. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out on caring.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He used to. He used to fight back so hard on your name, but now you're just rolling over.

[Dave Anthony]

It's over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the point, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Point, actually, at this point, the more confusing it is for the Gestapo, the better. So, yeah, I watched today. I watched 10 minutes of Ukrainian drones in Russia. Just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I tell you what, I'm going to say this to everybody. Don't look at what's going on with the drones, because you will. You will do what he's doing, which is. Yeah, it's over.

[Dave Anthony]

It's over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's.

[Dave Anthony]

It's over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. The drone thing is, if you look at what's happening with drones, bro, it.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, I don't like that they have cameras on them. No, I don't want my last moment to be. Oh, yeah, they've got your last moment. Like the drone. Remember?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We were worried about robot dogs with guns, though.

[Dave Anthony]

Still worried.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You shouldn't be. Because I was watching a couple robot dogs with guns yesterday, and two drones just came down and blew him up. And I'm like, oh. So we got that taken care of.

[Dave Anthony]

I. Honest to God, I. I was. When I was walking through Hollywood yesterday, I was like, those little robot delivery

[Gareth Reynolds]

things, you want to kick them over?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. But two years ago, I was like, that's a big problem. And now I'm like, who cares who? Fuck. Like, we've. We've seeded every bit of ground now where it's just like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody stops anything.

[Dave Anthony]

It's over. Yeah, it's over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you know about the ones in the cop. Ones in Burbank that ride around and they drive around. It's like a little cart like that. It drives around and. And like.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gives warning signal to people. And then everyone's. All the sides open up and drones come in.

[Dave Anthony]

Just like, what? Like, we really at.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I guess we're just doing this, huh?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. There was never there. It feels. It just feels like there never was a meeting where we were like, here's why we can't do it. Yeah, it was. All of a sudden, you're like that. The. Is that. Yeah, it was just like, ah, yeah, it's a drone hive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's LAPD getting rid of all their flock cameras. So we're making progress.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, we're gonna be fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're good. May 1791. Springtime.

[Dave Anthony]

So

[Gareth Reynolds]

what? So they've been working on the. You know, setting up the government and all that. He got. Hamilton got his central bank that. That obviously upset some, like the Jeffersons and people of that ilk. And basically the acceptance of what Alexander's interpretation of the Constitution was, which was like, well, if it's not in there, then we can do it, we're good. It's implied powers, which is amaz.

[Dave Anthony]

Which is an amazing starting point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

To be like, now we can break. We can bend the laws.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's not in there.

[Dave Anthony]

Didn't the whole thing just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's not in there.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. So by the way, some of the comments on the, the Alexander Hamilton clips that have been shared on our social media are absolutely. Please allow me. Don't go very quickly. Yeah, they are out of control.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's social media people. I usually just laugh at them because people are.

[Dave Anthony]

I do too. Well, I love when I see like Dave. I love when you go in there. I'm like, well, Dave's on one. Okay. So this one guy just Sergio Gonzalez, who's our buddy now, goes, Lin Manuel is so full of. And then this guy goes, it's a musical. And people know that it's not going to be one to one to one with history just based off the fact that it is a Broadway musical. Depiction does not equate an endorsement. And the vast majority of people just love the music. Sergio comes back, but isn't art supposed to speak truth to power instead of bootlicking it? This fucking loser. A Broadway musical, by definition of what it is, is not going to be literal because the entire premise as a whole is theatrical depiction also does not equate to endorsement. And I don't think anybody even know knows what Hamilton is trying to say outside of the fact that it features the founding Fathers, which in itself is just window dressing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's such like. I don't even know what to say.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you doing? What are you doing? You have to be posting those and going like, yeah, I hope this ends soon because this is real bad. There is no cope. Just a basic understanding of how Broadway works. I don't even know how your comment can be any more extreme. If you tried bad that Dave comes in, you're embarrassing yourself. Followed by Just accept your leader, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, there, there, there is a whole slew of people that are. That's just a musical. But it's like it is and isn't. There's a couple things going on. It's based on a churn out book which we've discussed. And so it gets people to read the Chernobyl book, actually. But also I don't, I really don't care what you say about like the musical. There's gonna be people that are gonna walk away thinking that's how it was. Listen, like, I don't know how you can ever.

[Dave Anthony]

I thought Benjamin Franklin was a president.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop. But come on. You cannot argue that this did not holistically change the opinion of a generation about a guy who actually is a huge problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Okay, so Thomas Jefferson and Madison who are opposed to what animals doing go on a month long botanizing tour. Botanizing where they're what they're saying something you would do. They're going, we're going to check out the plants in America.

[Dave Anthony]

Hell yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's something you would do you fuck yeah. To see America's native plants. They were actually in truth rallying opposition to Alexander Hamilton's government plans.

[Dave Anthony]

This is great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meeting with men they hoped would stand against him in Congress.

[Dave Anthony]

It's great. How are the plants boys? Oh, Hamilton. Really good. What'd you see?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Leaves of different shapes and colors.

[Dave Anthony]

Great. Anything that we could be moving to the great state over here and planting poison oak.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Poison ivy.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tomatoes.

[Dave Anthony]

What a weird list.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those are the main ones we saw.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And grass.

[Dave Anthony]

That was close.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I nailed it. That was close.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know. You started with the poison ones which seems sort of strange.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just.

[Dave Anthony]

You panic. Yeah, big time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I panic.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank God you said tomatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Poison roses.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Just general poison.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jefferson believed he was plotting to set up a monarchy. Having heard him dismiss the Constitution as quote, only a good step until something better.

[Dave Anthony]

That is so fucking crazy to have gone through all this and then be like, I think he's trying to set up a mod. Like what a crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was trying to. He did.

[Dave Anthony]

I know. What a wild thing to go through all that to leave a monarchy and then be like, you know what? That was pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But they just wanted to not pay taxes to that monarchy.

[Dave Anthony]

They wanted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They would like to start a new market.

[Dave Anthony]

It's the problem with all of this, which is once you're in charge then you're like, I mean corruption. I don't mind it that much now that I'm getting paid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the rules for the people keeps happening. It's uncom.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't like every time someone gets there, then someone's like how about a million dollars? That'd be pretty good. Honestly, I like a million dollars real good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they, they approached Aaron Burr. Now bur Burr has no problems with Alexander, but he had recently unseated Alexander's father in law Philip as a senator.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Jefferson knew Alexander resented that and that they would definitely become enemies. He knew Alexander, he knew. He's like, that guy's not going to take his foot off the pedal.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, so Alexander heard these two guys are going through the country speaking with members of the lower classes, which is what's really upsetting.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't go talk to the mud people.

[Dave Anthony]

You'll catch mud.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's the filth.

[Dave Anthony]

Disgusting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he is not that concerned until a journalist Jefferson had added to the State department payroll starts publishing satire poking at Alexander.

[Dave Anthony]

These people hate satire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then he gets angry.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm all for a good joke, just not about me in any way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I like it if it happens.

[Dave Anthony]

Not someone else. That's hilarious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That person.

[Dave Anthony]

That's so funny. Mind if I do shoes off? I don't care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think she's off here is totally reasonable.

[Dave Anthony]

Hell yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pants off.

[Dave Anthony]

You do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's do pants off. Kidding. This is. That's way. Okay, let's see the dawn really disturbing league. Big almost movie ish sound of a zipper.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it does sound like we brought it as like a. Like a Foley hit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The zipper boys.

[Dave Anthony]

Zipper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So he's not concerned until a journalist says that these guys doing publish. I mean he's being paid by the government to publish satire about Alexander. That is actually kind of weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In cabinet meetings, the two men were quote daily pitted in the cabinet. Like two. Not the one that you were about to take out, but like. Like the. The chicken.

[Dave Anthony]

One rooster and one human penis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Cock fight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's fair.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, my first fight, if I told you about that, it was just a rooster and some guy slapping his dick on it. Cockfight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know what you want me to do right now.

[Dave Anthony]

Throw to a squarespace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jefferson was told. Jefferson told Washington that Alexander's plan was to create a monarchical state.

[Dave Anthony]

It's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Washington was annoyed by the bickering.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that's what his problem was like. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And offered to moderate a discussion between the two guys. Okay, let's sit down. But aren't you.

[Dave Anthony]

If you're Washington. I mean, forgive me for knowing nothing, but if you're Washington, aren't you like, bro, stop talking about a monarchy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You would think so, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Even. Even if you were looking for power, you would be like, shut the up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am looking for power. But. But I. Yeah, I mean, I guess.

[Dave Anthony]

Or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or maybe he's just like, okay, I don't care.

[Dave Anthony]

Like it's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna do. I'm gonna slowly. Every 15 minutes I'm gonna take off an article.

[Dave Anthony]

I love that for us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So Jefferson is like, I'm not sitting down with that guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So Alexander presented his next plan in his 1791 report on the subject of manufacturers. Of course he writes another goddamn, enough. He's like the guy. He's like the guy that tweets like a book and you're like, hey, you know.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he's the guy. He's the guy when he does a Yelp review where you're like, bro, are you okay? He's like, my dad and I used to come to these Shakies. So needless to say, when I went parking lot and realized they drunk it, I was disappointed. Or recipe people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the.

[Dave Anthony]

The.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you know why that happens?

[Dave Anthony]

Because these people are lonely foodies who are dying for some sort of affection and validation. Because the first time I smelled mint, my dick got hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, because of Google. Much like comedians doing crowd work, Google would only boost people if they put a story in front of their recipe.

[Dave Anthony]

It's the word. It's not even worse. It's not. You know what? It's not even just the story that's a nightmare. It's that as you're scrolling down, you're going, where it. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where is it?

[Dave Anthony]

What are. What. Where is it? And it's just like, do you like sweeteners?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, there's literally a model that they have to follow to put it down at the bottom.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't relate it to crowd work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the same thing as people who do crowd work to get videos.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people are very good at crowd work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but nobody cares.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody cares about anything. It's over. What are you doing? Have you seen these people getting droned? They literally are like, oh, yeah, your last moment is your weakest. Yeah, no, no. Trying to outrun a drone as your last. But the cameras.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And then they're like, yeah, we'll throw that online. Yeah, cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gonna be a great.

[Dave Anthony]

Gonna be really good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gonna be a good end. So now this report. The report on the subject of manufacturers is pretty much ignored or downplayed by Alexander Hamilton's biographers. He very much wanted the hand of the government to control the market using a set of tools he called the means proper. So. So state subsidies, robust regulations, and tactical export bans. Government intervention is the key.

[Dave Anthony]

And when he says, I mean, essentially, this is as anti communist as it can, I mean, he basically capital.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, anti free market, essentially.

[Dave Anthony]

Right, right. So he's just fully into government control. Right? Yeah. There's no meritocracy so he wanted to

[Gareth Reynolds]

encourage manufacturing using federal subsidies given to private investors and through immigrant labor. And. Exactly what we have.

[Dave Anthony]

I was just gonna say it's exactly. I mean, boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

It's amazing that we got to him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Everything he wanted. He was especially into women.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just a Broadway musical. It's not supposed to be serious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was especially into women and children working.

[Dave Anthony]

That I get. That I agree with. I like that. I really do get him in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Women and quote. Women and children would be.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a psychotic man. The idea that he's like. And the way to do it is through little boys and women.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Women and children would be rendered more useful and the latter more early useful. Approving of all the British inclination to have children, quote. Of a very tender age put to work.

[Dave Anthony]

What? Children pop them out so they can go to the factory.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Super young kids working.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Once they could grasp.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, that's sick. Meaning none of this made the musical.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meaning under seven years old.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, what the. But even that is so stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'm doing a musical on Hitler now. It's not. You don't take it seriously because it's a musical. There's just music about it. Yeah. The ideas are in there.

[Dave Anthony]

It's really about a dog loving, funny mustache scamp who loved to live underground at the end. Well, as I hide, I'll take a cyanide. Ava.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, yeah. So under 7 years old was the idea. His plan was.

[Dave Anthony]

That is. That is just. Even from a. From a efficiency standpoint, very stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So not adopted. But Economics professor Chris.

[Dave Anthony]

Guys, these. These machines, they are not put together well at all. Do you understand what you're doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

It's terrible stuff. How many fucking times do I have to tell you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kind of. Candy.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you can't have candy. Look, look. All right, here's what we're doing. We're building carts. Lots of carts, okay? So you put the wheel on, remember? Hey, focus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was thinking about balloons.

[Dave Anthony]

What the fuck?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I saw balloons yesterday.

[Dave Anthony]

Shut up. Don't talk to each other about balloons. No, listen to me. Listen to me. We're building carts. You're here to build carts. Okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I go potty?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, go potty in your pants. How many times do I have to say, if you have to go potty, just let it rip?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I go home?

[Dave Anthony]

No. Stop asking questions. Jesus Christ. Fucking kids. Seven was the wrong cutoff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No kids.

[Dave Anthony]

No kids. Quiet. Stop doing that. No kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I would just like to say, particularly Australians, aside from all the. The crying about losing in the World cup, their chance are amazing.

[Dave Anthony]

Chants are amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you see the Walmart one?

[Dave Anthony]

Walmart was phenomenal. Yep. We're going to Walmart and then they all go into Walmart and we're getting deported. I wish I could remember the name of the guy, but the guy that co hosts Jim Jeffries podcast. Yeah. He was at a game and I mean, he was on fire. It was remarkable. He was just like. It was just like Epstein stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

How fat we are. School shootings. It was really awesome stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's good.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's just tearing into these things and then he quickly just flips it over to Jim Jeffries is just like. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So his plan was not adopted. But economics professor Christian Parenti says the principles of Alexander's plan were utilized by later generations of politicians worldwide. So, like exploit the new.

[Dave Anthony]

New.

[Gareth Reynolds]

New groups of people to exploit essentially Jefferson. Madison disapproved. Alexander wrote six essays calling Jess Jefferson dismissive of the Constitution and wanting to reduce the national government to a, quote, skeleton of power. Madison wrote 19 essays accusing Alexander of supporting an elitist system in which the few controlled the fates of the many.

[Dave Anthony]

Man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He also backed the existence of political parties which Americans looked down on, but Madison saw as a tool for the unrepresented to be heard. And he proudly called the Democratic Republican Party the anti Hamiltonian party.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, a whole party that just

[Dave Anthony]

like shuts the up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That's just like, stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We get that now. Kind of.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Washington was alarmed and wrote a worried letter to Alexander detailing Jefferson's and Madison's claims against him. Alexander wrote back a 10. A letter 10 times longer denying the monarchy claims and saying Jefferson should be removed from the cabinet.

[Dave Anthony]

But he. I mean, he. That's what he wanted and he. So he knew it was evil. So he's just evil to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, it's not evil to him. He truly believes that's the way it should be.

[Dave Anthony]

But only for selfish personal gain reasons. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, he genuinely thinks that the only way a country can be run is by the elites and no one else shouldn't have any say.

[Dave Anthony]

The idea that you go all this way to try a different system and then just throw it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he never wanted that system.

[Dave Anthony]

What? The. The. Yeah, the. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Then. Then maybe you don't bring him in the room for this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My wife. Yeah. I mean, Washington thinks he's a great Aiden.

[Dave Anthony]

So Washington's just a. Yeah, Washington sounds

[Gareth Reynolds]

like a bit of a. Yeah. I mean, we've done the old. What he did with his slave, escaped slaves. It's crazy that that is slaves that he owned. Like, it's really bad.

[Dave Anthony]

You're not going to paint me into that defending the slave owner corner again. I haven't lived that one down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander Jefferson also sparred over the nation's relationship with Great Britain. Britain. Alexander was so desperate to get in Great Britain's good behavior that he went behind Washington's back to meet with an official British. British official, George Beckwith. It was so secret that Beckwith gave Alexander the codename Seven.

[Dave Anthony]

He'll be Seven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Seven, which made something. Alexander something. Alexander was working for the British because if they gave him a codename, they're like, well, you can only get a code name when.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's fully like a traitor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's what people think.

[Dave Anthony]

Some people think the code name Seven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he is.

[Dave Anthony]

He is Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He is a traitor right now because he's going behind the President's back acting as the President's, like.

[Dave Anthony]

That's called negotiating. Seven. Welcome, seven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Dave Anthony]

You're here now. Welcome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, are you six?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm afraid I'm not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Five.

[Dave Anthony]

39.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My dad was 69.

[Dave Anthony]

Your dad was a hell of an agent. Invented some very strange procedures.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you know what that means?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what it is when yes. People do it?

[Dave Anthony]

Tits to tummy? Yes, tits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, there's more to it to me.

[Dave Anthony]

I've never looked at it as anything other than feeling a nice set of tits on the tummy and I get to put my belly on a chin. It's awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You ruined the number anyway. You've ruined the number, the meeting. So he's probably not obviously a British agent, but he didn't pursue Washington's wishes in the secret meeting he wanted. Washington wants the military posts, the British ones in the western US out. And he wants reimbursement for slaves that they'd taken during the war.

[Dave Anthony]

That's so cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we get our money for the people?

[Dave Anthony]

Can we be free people? Quiet. Doesn't evolve. You got any cash? Yeah. Hello. I'm 34.5. I'm just a blowjob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Giving, Giving people money for freeing slaves is so crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

For stealing slaves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, first for. Well, they, they, they would take slaves while they were fighting and then free them.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, they would. Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so, and so you're like.

[Dave Anthony]

But giving the nerve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People be like, that's my property. And you're like, yeah. Our whole point is you should have Never had it. So we're not going to give you. You shouldn't give anybody any money for fucking. Cuz you took a slave.

[Dave Anthony]

You owe us money. You got rid of the people we owe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's so crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, sh.

[Dave Anthony]

Shocking as usual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well then I'll go bankrupt. Okay, you shouldn't have a slave.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. No. Then you don't have a good business model.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like the people. AI, it's like the people. Like, I can't pay a minimum wage. Well then don't be a business.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, I'm sorry, you can't afford this. Well, the only way that I can win is exploitation. Yeah, I don't think it's working.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So Alexander doesn't come across great. Beckwith leaves the meeting with the impression that America was quote, desperate for Britain's friendship because it's just Alexander giving his own beliefs. Secret meeting.

[Dave Anthony]

So it's crazy what they're trying to do over there. Disgusting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

After Britain's relate, Britain's ambassador goes to meet with Jefferson and his shot, I

[Dave Anthony]

think Lin Manuel Miranda just. He couldn't he have just got like read like five books? And I mean like, okay, this guy's pretty cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know how you do research on a subject like this without looking at a bunch of a little more sources. Yeah. But again, the Chernobyl pug was very popular and people were passing it around. So everyone's like, this is what it is. I don't know why people don't understand that. Historians and in this case a. A guy from Wall street, when they write a book, they might have some.

[Dave Anthony]

Just a little bit more looking around, being like, nah, maybe I should do a different one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

My name is Ben Franklin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, if I wrote a book about Burr, it would just be, you know, people be like this kind of burr. Like it would be really not. It wouldn't be a great historical.

[Dave Anthony]

All right,

[Gareth Reynolds]

so after Britain's ambassador, Mason, Jefferson, and he's shocked that Jefferson isn't desperate for Britain's friendship. Jeffers didn't. Jefferson does not like the English and he called them pompous, quote, carnivorous animals. That I agree with.

[Dave Anthony]

True. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree with that.

[Dave Anthony]

But they were probably like, what? You guys suck. What do you mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We just had a secret meeting.

[Dave Anthony]

We just talked. Shut up. We just talked to a gent name seven who said, you're right up our asses. You love us, you want your own monarchy. No. Yes. That's what we were told. Yes. And you're way after It. It's what we want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your base is gone and we don't want to pay. We want money back for the slave thing.

[Dave Anthony]

There's nobody's good in this. Terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody's good as this is what the history. That should be the history book of the world.

[Dave Anthony]

That really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody is good in this.

[Dave Anthony]

Nobody's good in this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jefferson doesn't want to make deals that would alienate France. So the ambassador, British ambassador, goes to Alexander, who apologizes for Jefferson. He's like this guy 7 Get in here. And he agrees to meet secretly subverting the secretary of state whose job it is to meet with other governments and gives up confidential information about talks with Spain and France.

[Dave Anthony]

Fully. Fully. Treason.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's treason. In the summer of 1791. Amazing, isn't it?

[Dave Anthony]

It's just made like Google existed when this musical was being written.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You would think so.

[Dave Anthony]

Something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He probably halfway through someone was like, no, no. He's like a Nazi kind of. Well, I don't know. I've been rhyming his name a lot. I'm not going back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. You could read the quote from the last episode when we were talking about the veterans not getting paid. And he was like, well, the them. The people who took advantage of the guys getting paid are more patriotic. Like, I don't know. You can read that and not go, oh, turnout's awful.

[Dave Anthony]

He probably had written like three of the songs. He was like, it. It's got such a good beginning

[Gareth Reynolds]

in the summer of 1791.

[Dave Anthony]

It's such a perfect show for the liberals. Yes, it's perfect. It's like mid level rap about a piece of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

That they all told is awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There is a thread on the subreddit, just a lot of people talking about how great the songs are.

[Dave Anthony]

And hey, I've said it. I watched it drunk during the COVID The beginning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And is that what it was called? Co.

[Dave Anthony]

The beginning. And I don't even know why I Sometimes I do the thing where I go like during COVID Yeah. And I'm like, be careful. Because I'm like. Because people like right when that ended. But. And I was like. I definitely was like, all right. Hell yeah. And then I watched it with you and you were very negative. The music's bad. Lin Manuel is terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the key. He is so bad a performer.

[Dave Anthony]

He's terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's terrible. You know, the songs aren't great because mostly the guy singing him and being a part of his fucking awful.

[Dave Anthony]

Terrible. It's terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Terrible. He's really bad. Summer 1791. Knock on Alexander's door. He opens it up, and there's a young.

[Dave Anthony]

How about a musical about Lin Manuel writing it? And it's like a rap about people being like, yeah, but he was a huge piece of shit. I don't care. The musical's legit. It's just like that, where we're like, I'm not going to do more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he opens his door, and there's a young woman named Maria Reynolds. And she's like, I'm. I desperately need your help. My abusive husband has abandoned me. Alexander, he flirts with married women a lot. That's.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And unmarried women. He's a flirt. He's a big flirter. Sometimes you take it further if today's, you know, writings are to be believed. Attracted to Maria, but also aware that his family is in the house.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a tough one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He said, her problem.

[Dave Anthony]

Check me off. Then we can go outside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quick, quick. In the bush. Not that bush.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, on your bush.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he. He calls her situation quote, an interesting one and said, well, I'll bring money by your house that tonight.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how we're gonna do this. I'm gonna swing by with money.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, look, I'll come over later with money. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean? Here's the money. I'm gonna put it in your puss.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's the money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a creepy, creepy foundation.

[Dave Anthony]

I bet no one will ever write a musical about me. Not in a good life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a really bad person.

[Dave Anthony]

Pretty bad. Here's $30. Just fiddle with my balls. I'm married, but I kind of don't care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he.

[Dave Anthony]

My wife looks like if Abe Lincoln was a woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he goes to the house, knocks on the door at night, quote, she met me and conducted me into a bedroom.

[Dave Anthony]

I've been conducted into a bedroom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I took the bill out of my pocket and gave it to her. Some conversation ensued from which it was quickly apparent that other than pecuniary consolation would be acceptable.

[Dave Anthony]

Pecuniary?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I forgot what that word is. I looked it up.

[Dave Anthony]

But I think that she just wants money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that there's.

[Dave Anthony]

He was. He was thinking there might be a vibe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's sex.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, they did?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I think the. I think they're talking about pecuniary.

[Dave Anthony]

Would you like to come back to my place for some compunerary consolations?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's apparent that there's Something other than money. Yeah. There's more going on, right? Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Take the bill out of the other pocket.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She needs it, is what he's saying.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She wants the full Alex.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, Right. She wants the Bangleton.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He kept meeting her for sex after that.

[Dave Anthony]

We could have gotten there without the looking up of the word. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It helped that Eliza took the kids to visit her family in Albany. Or in Chernow's words, quote, abandoned Hamilton.

[Dave Anthony]

Me. Oh, my God. What's his deal?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's just trying to find. He's trying to excuse.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everything.

[Dave Anthony]

Infidelity, his stupid wife would leave anything

[Gareth Reynolds]

that is obviously bad. Chernow finds a way to write around it.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's banging the neighbor, and he's like, his wife left him alone again. Poor Alexander. What was he to do? He shot it on his neighbor's back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He wrote loving sentiments to his wife, like, quote, I cannot be happy without you. Meanwhile, he's banging the other.

[Dave Anthony]

This is what happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When he learned their toddler James was sick, Alexander begged her to, quote, take care of my lamb, but still urged her to not come home.

[Dave Anthony]

But don't come home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, don't.

[Dave Anthony]

No, don't take care of the lamb.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stay up there with the lamb.

[Dave Anthony]

The neighbors are going to take care of the skin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm all over the house.

[Dave Anthony]

It's awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As he'd have extreme anxiety over her health if she were to return too soon because he's like, no.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm so nervous about how you'll be. I'm thinking of you, darling. There we are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Whispering on it. Whispering.

[Dave Anthony]

Writing in the letter, what he's doing. My darling, your health is what I worry. Slip the sack. Slip the sack. My darling, I'm worried that your absence will create. Slurp the sack. Slurp the sack. That's good. Toss a finger in it. Come back when you feel healthy and tell my lamb I love him so. Yours lovingly. All over your face, I've glazed you, Alexander. Oh, sweet. Lick it a little bit. Now kiss me, Hamilton. Let me scrape the load off this bottom of this letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When she wrote the Sealed with semen. When she wrote that she wanted to come home earlier than planned.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you, he said. I mean nothing. I love you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She should let him know before she left home.

[Dave Anthony]

I need a week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't alarm yourself. Don't hurry as to injure either yourself or the children.

[Dave Anthony]

I need to get the smell out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Take it slow.

[Dave Anthony]

I need to get the smell out of our house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I know you're coming from upstate, but go Through Pennsylvania.

[Dave Anthony]

Take a long, long, long time. I need to light incense days before you come back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander Maria usually had sex at the Hamilton home.

[Dave Anthony]

Hell, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He kept seeing her after. She said her husband James had returned wealthy from gambling in government securities.

[Dave Anthony]

She's gambling, too. So he. So. So he's. So he's a good guy, too. But her original thing was, like, she wasn't into the husband.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She was like, yeah, you abandoned her.

[Dave Anthony]

Right? So. But now he's back, and she's just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he's loaded.

[Dave Anthony]

He's loaded.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ale owner keeps screwing her as when her. His family returns.

[Dave Anthony]

Sorry, Dave. I believe the term is. He continued to be abandoned by his

[Gareth Reynolds]

wife, kept abandoning inside of his girlfriend.

[Dave Anthony]

He was abandoned by his wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now they started doing it at her house when her husband was out.

[Dave Anthony]

Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At.

[Dave Anthony]

That's the room where it happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess back then, there's not a lot of choices. Like, now you got hotels and whatever else in your car. But back then, there's not a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

People are still idiots, I guess you

[Gareth Reynolds]

could walk out of the forest.

[Dave Anthony]

People are still idiots. People like to. People. Just people. I mean, you've seen cheaters. I mean, they made a. They made a whole show off of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's kind of amazing.

[Dave Anthony]

Stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'll never get. I'll never get over the idea that people, when they're cheating, they. They create like a Tinder profile. And you're like, yeah, that's crazy. Everyone can see that.

[Dave Anthony]

Crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everyone can see that.

[Dave Anthony]

Crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you doing?

[Dave Anthony]

My algorithm, for a minute, became, like, fake. I caught my husband cheating because I was like, this is the best in the world.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was after that for a while.

[Dave Anthony]

Then it was just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then you're like, okay, I got it.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. Thank you. Thank you very much. We're good. Do you see this one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What about this guy?

[Dave Anthony]

The acting's not very good. Yeah, but it's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. At some point, her. Her man James found out, and he confronts Alexander and he demands a thousand dollars or he said he'd tell Eliza.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander pays and keeps banging Maria for another five months.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eliza gets pregnant again. For a year, he pays James hush money to bang his wife.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, to bang Eliza?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, to bang the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He. James's wife.

[Dave Anthony]

He's paying to bang the gambling guy's wife. He's paying for it now. He's paying a fee to the. The husband's the pimp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's it.

[Dave Anthony]

And he's paying to her now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's better. It's more Appropriate.

[Dave Anthony]

It's terrible. And the guy's like, all right, I'm not gonna. As long as I get to skim a little out of this situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think everyone. I think everyone is getting what they want.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who's not getting what they want?

[Dave Anthony]

Alexander Hamilton's wife. And I would imagine that the neighbor is banging, is also not aware that he's paying a fucker's fee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I think she is.

[Dave Anthony]

She is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I made a payment. Ready for a load?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

Come on. I just gave your husband 22 bucks. Let's go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But eventually, Alexander ends the relationship.

[Dave Anthony]

You know, it's just become a bit strange the way this all works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also amount of money.

[Dave Anthony]

I think we lost the thread here a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, a thousand is a lot of money back then.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So James and an accomplice, Jacob Clingman, are arrested and charged with defrauding the government. To get the charges dropped, Clingman told a congressman he had clerked for, whose name was Muhlenberg, that Alexander and James were speculating illegally in treasury secret securities. Congressman Merlinberg. Cryptic letters between James and Alexander and said James had juicier information that would, quote, hang the Secretary of the Treasury. Muhlenberg investigates and he brings in two others to help him. Rep. Abraham Venable and Senator James Monroe. Okay, I know I didn't have a woman come in for the. Oh, yeah. No. They interviewed Maria and James who didn't reveal the affair, but said they had shocking information on Alexander.

[Dave Anthony]

He's been banging me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's been really quiet.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really good at it.

[Dave Anthony]

He's really good. We invented a position.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So then they interview Alexander and desperate to prove he hadn't stolen government money, he revealed this affair with Maria and. And he was basically saying it because James and him are exchanging money.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's. And he doesn't want people to know they're exchanging.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because it's about an affair, but some other guy is like, that's about government security. So it's. It's a whole mess.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure. Sorry. It's like a Watergate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure. That we got

[Dave Anthony]

something. I'm starting to say more and more throughout the show. Kind of a. Sounds like a Watergate. Sounds like we've got a Watergate on our hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. In which. Which way do you mean, which?

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it's just like the COVID ups worse than the crime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Sounds like a water game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Crime's not great either. I mean.

[Dave Anthony]

No, crime's not great cover up though. That's what gets you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

We have a Watergate. You know why it's a Watergate? We got a tricky dick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tell me to cut that out.

[Dave Anthony]

No, cut it in again. Keep cutting it in. Cut it in a bunch. You know why it's a water gate. We got a tricky dick. You know why it's a Watergate. We got a tricky dick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he has it. James and an accomplice, Jacob Clingman, are arrested and charged with defrauding the government.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To get the charges dropped, Clingman told the congressman he clicked for that Alexander and James were illegal speculating industry. So he's paying him. Right? So. So now this other guy, Merlenberg, brings in two dudes, and they interview James and Marie, who don't reveal the affair, but are like, we have tons of information on Alexander. And then they interview Alexander. He admits, and desperate to prove he hadn't stolen government money, he's like, I was.

[Dave Anthony]

I've been.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been banging Maria, but I've never. That's what this is. This is a.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a fee.

[Dave Anthony]

It's kind of a Watergate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then he shows letters between himself, Maria and James. He's, look, I have proof that I'm having sex.

[Dave Anthony]

This is a super weird thing we got going on over here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm paying this guy.

[Dave Anthony]

I paid him a banger's fee, and then I kept banging his wife, and I just don't want Eliza to know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so these two congressmen are like, well, what he's telling us is so up that it's got to be true.

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

With the. Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

They're like, yeah, he's probably not doing the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The really bad thing, right?

[Dave Anthony]

Which is admitting this. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he shows him letters between them, and they believe him and doesn't look like he's stolen anything. And Alexander said, as he told them of the affair, they, quote, delicately urged me to discontinue, as it was unnecessary. So. So they're like, okay, we get it. And then I her on the table.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, we're good. We really think we should.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then I her in the bar.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then I her in the backyard.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop, stop, stop her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got up on the fridge, and she blew me.

[Dave Anthony]

Don't. Well, you mean the freezer box said, don't her. Don't her. And I don't have a freezer box.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We did on a horse.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, good Lord.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tried on a goat. The goat. I need a new goat, essentially. But you killed your goat. Did it in a creek.

[Dave Anthony]

All Right. Okay. So stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop paying to banger. Stop banging her. Stop doing all this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get on the roof. Did I swing on the tree?

[Dave Anthony]

Great. Okay, look, you're very. It's a real green eggs and ham. Let's just. Let's just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just stop on the mountain.

[Dave Anthony]

Good for you. Good for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out of the other tree.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, great. Good, good. Both trees, other lawn. All right, good, good. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop banging her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, just trying to think of other places.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't. We don't need that. We're telling you, we don't need that information.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the water closet.

[Dave Anthony]

What is that even. What is that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where we make water.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't think it's that. Another toilet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, just stairs. That was weird.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop. Stop telling us. Stop banging her. Stop telling us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And stop banging from the back there.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop telling us about bang. Stop telling. I'm asking you very clearly. Stop talking. Stop talking right now. Stop thinking of things to say. We don't care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not even a thing of things to say. I'm just saying her a bunch. We get it where we bang. We're good in the butt once we're good. Anyway. I didn't do anything illegal.

[Dave Anthony]

That sounds like a Watergate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Although the butting.

[Dave Anthony]

That's not illegal. If that's illegal, we're all going down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's illegal.

[Dave Anthony]

That's interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He insists on telling them all the details. He just. He just has to tell them after the investigation is dropped and they promise to keep the. The affair quiet. We're not going to blow this open on you. But they had a clerk make copies of all the letters.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that guy was like, Jesus Christ.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He seems to have blabbed. Jefferson. So this is when Monica Lewinsky takes the dress to that lady in the trip and let it trap. This is Linda trip, Right?

[Dave Anthony]

Kind of a Watergate. It's a bit of a water game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Kind of the deep throat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jefferson had rumors about his own sex life, so he never uses this information. Maria visited Alexander this time around this time to ask for help with James's case. And he asked her to burn all the letters.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, it's nice to see you.

[Dave Anthony]

Can you everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shortly after, Maria divorced James and hired a lawyer, Aaron Burr, who was known for being sympathetic to women who wanted to be free of their husbands.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In 1792, Washington had memory and hearing loss. He's old. He's just getting old.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, man. I hate when presidents start to get really old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great. He was sick of Jefferson and Hamilton.

[Dave Anthony]

Did he die? And then they pretended he was alive for a month?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wouldn't you.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, it's the smart thing to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was sick of.

[Dave Anthony]

We just talked to George. He's really got some great ideas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

20 minutes.

[Dave Anthony]

He's really doing great. I talked to him for 20 minutes this morning, and he's crazy. He's sharp as attack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love that we have a government in which there's no mechanism to remove a dead man from office. They.

[Dave Anthony]

They. They just keep reinventing the way that they will just do anything. And you're like, wait a minute. Now this. I thought. And then. But also our reaction is. So that's why the. It's like, purging ourselves on, like, the Internet is unhealthy for any sort of change. Because we're like. Like, can't believe he's dead. Then it's like, that's kind of all we're gonna do about it. Get a little, like, pissy online.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. By the way, it's great that he's dead. Yeah, it's great that he's dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. In 1792.

[Dave Anthony]

And this is a death with no dignity. No, they are just pretending he's alive. Instead, they're redoing the floors in his place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But wouldn't the greatest way to honor him be to delay and end up stealing a seat in Congress?

[Dave Anthony]

It'd be great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What an honor. What a way to.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, if Thomas Massie were to take that seat, that would just be the greatest thing ever. Not ever. It's a low bar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so Washington is getting old. He has memory and hearing loss. He's sick of Jefferson Hamilton always sniping in cabinet meetings and. And in articles. He didn't want to die in office, knowing Americans needed to see power peacefully change hands. But Alexander, he knows how to get to Washington. And so he starts working him to get his plans for America done. So he plays on the president's fears and warns him that the public would see his retirement as, quote, the greatest evil that could befall the country.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that not running for his second term would be critically hazardous to his legacy.

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, everyone's gonna hate you unless you run again. Everyone.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everyone's gonna hate your guys.

[Dave Anthony]

I want to die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they'll be happy with that.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't want to live. I don't want to do it anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't you care?

[Dave Anthony]

I Do. But I'm dying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

I have no teeth. I can't hear. My hair is super weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're running again. No, that's the thing.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I don't want to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Or you go back in the basement.

[Dave Anthony]

No, I don't want to go in the basement. That's where the rats bite.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where you're going.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no. I'll run again. Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're still going in the basement, though.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a bit of a event set up where you fight rats.

[Dave Anthony]

What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eventually it'll be a. I'm the first

[Dave Anthony]

president of the United.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Many years from now, it's going to be a play and then. And then a book and then a.

[Dave Anthony]

About me fighting wax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then a musical.

[Dave Anthony]

Rats fighting. What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rats fighting Washington.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, that would make no sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

General versus the Rats is what it's called. That's the song.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, no, you'll be good. And it was time for the General versus the Rats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How's that go?

[Dave Anthony]

Look, here I am in a basement. It's tough to understand where I'm at. Oh, no. Look out. A rat. I'm gonna fight him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Him.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna punch him. And I'm gonna win because my name is George Washington. I got weird teeth. They hurt my mouth. That's the way a rat's kind of a big mouth. You're done. Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Off the rap day.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm sweating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're having an off rap day. Or as we call it, a crap day. So he wants to retire Alexander. He manipulates him. That's what we're talking about. Manipulates Washington and said his retirement

[Dave Anthony]

would

[Gareth Reynolds]

be seen as, quote, the greatest evil that could befall the country and not running for secondary critically hazardous legacy. And it works. Washington begins his second term in 1793.

[Dave Anthony]

To Biden.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's Biden. The French Revolution led to another big break between Hamilton's Federalists and Jefferson's Republicans. Conservatives were dismayed by the bloodshed. And also that aristocrats in France had taken their. Had their power taken.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God, this must have been awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would not have been the thing.

[Dave Anthony]

Just awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander was very upset that King Louis xvi, who supported the American Americans during the Revolution, had his head chopped off.

[Dave Anthony]

Was a tough one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Seemed like a nice guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Now is that this was the invention of the guillotine? No, I've been around for a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Been about.

[Dave Anthony]

They just really were like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That wasn't the first. Could you imagine being the first guy killed by a guillotine.

[Dave Anthony]

But I actually think this is where they stopped. After this, they're like, no more. They like, did they, like the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The next few years were crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, yeah. But then after that, they were like, this is over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. They were like, okay. That got weird.

[Dave Anthony]

It's been crazy. Yeah, we really. Well, we had a hell of a run. Run. That was awesome. That was awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We peaked.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that's the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he. He's horrified by the assaults on Christianity, but Jefferson is cheering it on. He saw in the French revolutionaries the spirit of the American revolutionaries and thought Lewis being killed by his people was a warning for the tyrants, which he is one of. Makes sense. During its revolution, France was pulled into the war with Prussia and Austria. And in 1793, Great Britain joined in the fight against France. This war was sto. This were stoked divisions in America. Federalists wanted a British victory and a return to the aristocracy and maybe the monarchy in France. Republicans backed. France wanted liberty and the people to vanquish every monster that would act like their dictator. Historians say the division was so bitter, it was almost like the civil war. Alexander wanted to break the treaty of alliance with France. Jefferson does. Not surprisingly, Washington sided with Jefferson and his cabinet unanimously said the U. S. Must not participate on either side. And the American people wanted to help France. A Frenchman named Ginny was traveling around working Americans into a frenzy. And it created a proliferation of republican societies who dressed in French fashion and called one another fellow citizen rather than sir.

[Dave Anthony]

What, so there's like French cosplay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, like French fetish.

[Dave Anthony]

Hello, fellow citizen. And they're probably. They're pro aristocracy. Yes. I feel like this guy is playing Hamilton's side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think he is.

[Dave Anthony]

He's like. Yeah, he's like, this is. I mean, like, we love France, so we're gonna dress up like them and greet each other as fellow citizens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Gareth, there are things in life that you don't want to be transparent, like. Well, especially your search history, swimsuits, the outside of cows, I think. But when it comes to your wireless bill, Gareth, transparency is everything. That's why mint mobile's wireless plans have no gimmicks, no gotchas, just high speed data, reliable coverage on the T Mobile 5G network. And right now, all plans are 15amonth, even unlimited. And you said they wouldn't be. And they are.

[Dave Anthony]

I never said that. I never said that. No way. Well, they're just trying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Limited.

[Dave Anthony]

No, you're just trying to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I said they're gonna be Unlimited for 15 bucks a month.

[Dave Anthony]

You're a sad man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm also a liar.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look. Mint Mobile took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with Premium Wireless for 15 bucks a month. Yes. And you can't stop them as much as you said.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm into it, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All plans come with high speed data and limited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can even bring your phone and your number and switch again. You said it.

[Dave Anthony]

All I said was that this. It doesn't make your phone taste like mint. That's all I said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we use it and we like it. At least I do anyway. This guy can't be trusted.

[Dave Anthony]

I like it too. I love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love mint.

[Dave Anthony]

I love mint too. But I don't. I'm not gonna sit here and do this stupid mint phone stuff anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're paying tons of money for a service you can get for much cheaper. Jump over. You get all the data you need. You get. The phone calls are crisp and clean. I even get texts. I don't get them from Gareth though. I'll tell you that right now. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to.

[Dave Anthony]

You're out of your mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mint mobile.com.

[Dave Anthony]

they should not want to work with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's.

[Dave Anthony]

They should kick you off a mint.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. Mint mobile.com cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month@mint mobile.com. that's it. There's no. There's no catch up. Front payment of 45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months or 180 for 12 months. Plan required. 15 per month. Equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Includes up to a 20 gigabyte hotspot cable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com Gareth the dollop is also brought to you by Neutrophil. Would you. Gorse is a neutral. That is full. Now hear me out. I use Nutrival, you use Neutrophil. I look great. You're a guy.

[Dave Anthony]

Excuse me. You should at least put our personal beef aside to say that we both take Neutrophil and are very happy with the results.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand used by over 1.5 million people.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey. Is anyone using it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm using it. Just me. What are you doing? Nutrival has formulas built for men at different life stages. Nutrival men for guys 18 to 49. And the new Nutriful for men 50 plus, which is the first product of its kind, specifically made for men over 50. It's going to address the key root causes of thinning. Wherever you're at in life, grow visibly thicker, fuller hair in three to six months, which I have been doing and have done. I've been also doing and I look great. Stop it. Gareth Reynolds is wearing pants

[Dave Anthony]

Sense and

[Gareth Reynolds]

Neutral is also the hair growth official partner of Major League Baseball. A lot of people don't know that, but that's true. Every baseball guy that you love and see is going to have hair growing on top of their hats. Okay, I'm pretty sure.

[Dave Anthony]

I just don't even know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wait, that's not true.

[Dave Anthony]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Start neutral today and make the hat optional. Visit nutrival.com and enter promo code the dollop for $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. Find out why Nutrival is the best selling hair growth supplement [e-mail] spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code the doll. That's Nutrival.com promo code the Dollop.

[Dave Anthony]

Get involved.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll try. I'll try one more with you.

[Dave Anthony]

Beautiful. So far, Neutrophil is fantastic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So far you have not been helpful.

[Dave Anthony]

I've done nothing. I've just been yelled at.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Dollop is also brought to you by Squarespace.

[Dave Anthony]

Now, Dave, we love Squarespace here. We use Squarespace. We appreciate Squarespace. Every website we're associated with a Squarespace. Why? Because Squarespace does all the heavy lifting for you. Squarespace makes you, Dave Anthony, an idiot. Look like you're a professional. Because the website templates are easy to use. They're user friendly. They help you come up with the right URL. Once you're there, they're going to make it look perfect. People are going to go on and they're going to be like, wow, Dave, Anthony's a genius. Nice. Just some dude who sits in his car a long time alone before he goes home because he's kind of like down on himself. He takes it out on those that he loves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What you don't realize is that I physically merged with with Squarespace and I am now square Day.

[Dave Anthony]

Square.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Square. Square, Anthony. Square.

[Dave Anthony]

Squarespace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Square Anthony.

[Dave Anthony]

Squarespace Anthony.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

But Dave, let's be honest. They help you with so much more. Let's say you want to sell merch. Most people can do that quite easily. Yeah, it's not gonna be Squarespace's fault if it doesn't happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now it is user. Like the user is using it. So if the user is a guy that we bring in our van with us who is hard to corral, he can do stuff like put the merch store up once every 4.5 days, 7.7 days, and then 13.2 days.

[Dave Anthony]

Squarespace is going to help you with merch. It's going to help you with your videos, it's going to help you with your SEO stuff. Oh yeah, search engine optimization. That's also. I love all of it because Squarespace is the best. Your website, my website, the Dollop website, also my film, Give it Up, which is going to do a screening July 28th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think Squarespace templates look great. Easy to use. No, all of it. No updates you have to do on your own.

[Dave Anthony]

And let's see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Updates, automatic.

[Dave Anthony]

Call them. They're there. They answer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Call them.

[Dave Anthony]

Here's my impression of what you call Squarespace. Hello, we love you. What can we do for you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you can also go with a more hostile hey punk, what are you doing?

[Dave Anthony]

Don't do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey punk, I need a website.

[Dave Anthony]

Nope.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use Overgoat dollop and save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Or domain. That's squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use Overcoat doll to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Look them in the eyes and say,

[Dave Anthony]

nope, don't do any of that. Don't do any of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey punk, I need a website.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I don't know why you're going to Clint Eastwood. Squarespace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They love it.

[Dave Anthony]

Just to show Americans were always the

[Gareth Reynolds]

dumbest idiots, they also called one another fellow citizen rather than sir and called on the US to help France. The societies scared Alexander. He saw them as similar to the Sons of Liberty. So he wrote essays seven in the summer of 1793.

[Dave Anthony]

Dude, someone just cut this guy's hands off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go to the beach. Jesus Christ.

[Dave Anthony]

Someone just. Someone cut his hands off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Seven Essays are just so annoying.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like Stephen King on a cocaine.

[Dave Anthony]

I was just gonna say it is. It's like a cokehead writing. Yeah, he's got coke hand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He defriended Washington's policy of neutrality and said France had started it. Sorry. He defended since they did, the US was not bound by the Treaty of Alliance. To help. As a historian put it quote a staple of right wing politicians for generations to Come anyway. Alexander insinuated that any American questioning Washington's foreign policy was being disloyal.

[Dave Anthony]

There it fucking is. There it is. You hate America. Let us go into Iraq. You hate the troops. You hate everything. You hate freedom. Get the fuck out. If you got a problem with. Never ends. We've always been meant to have Jesse Waters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, it's just always been. It's. It's in the DNA. We're supposed to just constantly. One group of people is supposed to tell us that if we don't support everything blindly, even if it's killing a bunch of innocent, that we hate this country and we need to get the out. And the other side is so afraid they're going to lose that argument, they don't say anything or counter it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That sounds good. At the end of 1793, Jackson quit and retired.

[Dave Anthony]

Jackson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry. Jefferson.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Calling his days spent in Washington's Cabinet a, quote, useless waste of time.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As a parting gift, Jefferson lackey and Congressman William Giles began an investigation into Alexander's conduct as Treasury Secretary.

[Dave Anthony]

He's gonna find some.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander was thinking about quitting, but now felt he had to stay. If he left, too. If he left too soon, he worried that it would look like he's running off. Right.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. Well, it also feels like he just. If Jefferson's leaving, he's like, all right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

He's best at a foe. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He even asked Congress who strengthened the investigation into his conduct, saying, quote, the more comprehensive, the more agreeable it will be. To me, that's a. That's a good.

[Dave Anthony]

Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a good. Like, it's crazy. Well, it's. It's a good, like, lying position where you're like, yeah, no, go ahead. Look at the House. There's nothing there, like, thinking that they'll be like, all right. He wants me to go in there too.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's that kind of right. Congress does. Asking him to submit expensive reports proving he is. He did not speculate.

[Dave Anthony]

I did not speculate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't.

[Dave Anthony]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was cleared by Congress.

[Dave Anthony]

Cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he's very angry that Washington did not go to bat firm during the investigation. Still not retiring because there were two new crises. One was the reaction to his whiskey tax for farmers.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. Which we talked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which we talked about in two. Two. Number two, west of the Appalachians, they did not like the government. Britain still had several outposts from which they armed Native Americans.

[Dave Anthony]

Making so funny to still be hanging in there like, excuse me, please go fight them a bit more. Would you, please?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This will Be fine.

[Dave Anthony]

Please go get them. Why don't you go fight them? Huge, huge babies. Please go. We're making pies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they weren't happy. America was strength. Strengthening the relationship with Great Britain. So.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Talking about, like, vets who fought in the war.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the are we doing?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, hello. There's somebody in here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Britain's had several outposts from which they named Native Americans. Making armed. Sorry. Not named. Making farmers Lives very difficult.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they're not. They weren't happy. Americans were. Or strengthening the relationship with Great Britain. They hated the whiskey tax to help pay for state debts. Distillers and farmers used whiskey as a currency. And the tax was wiping out their profits.

[Dave Anthony]

They used whiskey as a currency. That's great. How much. How much do you want for that? A four of the horses parts. Four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

You take four of the horses parts and then we figure out from there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Four?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. All right. And take a push fork and four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not fork. Okay.

[Dave Anthony]

All right. Hold on a second, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on.

[Dave Anthony]

What are we doing right now for. I'm gonna just get a bunch of your seeds and I'm gonna get the out of here because I am scared right now, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Should be. Have you seen Dexter?

[Dave Anthony]

Shut up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you Dexter?

[Dave Anthony]

No, I. Baby. I'm gonna call my dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. That's really Papa? Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, you were dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nope.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, man. What? I gotta go though. Wait.

[Dave Anthony]

What did we do last night?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The tax was wiping out their profits. Farmers they knew it benefited the wealthy, especially easterners. And some historians say this was Alexander's plan. Move the wealth from the poor to the wealthy and more economic power from the anti federalist west to the pro federalist East. Many in Congress had warned that it would lead to bloodshed.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it did.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Westerners beat tarred and feathered tax collectors. Especially in Pennsylvania. There was organized armed resistance.

[Dave Anthony]

Tarring and feathering is. We're ready for it to get back in the mix.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just so up.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a lot. Well, look, let's be honest. You don't need the feathers. We probably can't afford the feathers anymore. But the tarring was awesome. Just the. The feathers is fun. The feathers is why you do it. You do it for the fun part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Head.

[Dave Anthony]

It's the home alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I tar on my foot yesterday.

[Dave Anthony]

What? What's going on? Are you okay if you go. Where are you living right now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Southern California. If you go out on the beach, you're gonna step off on a glob of oil. At some point. And it's going to stick out of your foot. It's called nature.

[Dave Anthony]

And that's not. That's nature ruined at all. How have we not outdone tar? We've not beaten tar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love tar.

[Dave Anthony]

We're still like. Tar will do it. Throw a little tar on that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's as expected. It leads to bloodshed. People are beat. Tarred, feathered tax collectors are. Especially in Pennsylvania. A year and a half after the tax, not one cent had been collected.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because the tax collectors like we're probably not gonna pursue that any longer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got tired and feathered. So I'm not.

[Dave Anthony]

They turned Chad into a tarred rooster. I know. But yeah, it's tough language there. They're gonna clip that. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Super. There's that empathy. It's a. He's a tarred rooster. Tarred rooster. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's not.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So Alexander tells Washington it was time to protect the government and quote, look,

[Dave Anthony]

it's finally time to protect the government. We're under attack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And quote, vigorous and decisive measures were needed if they didn't want the disobedience to spread. Washington disagreed and tried lowering the tax and things calmed down a little bit.

[Dave Anthony]

What an idiot though. But that's the last time that worked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Higher taxes is how you do it. On the poor. Yep. On the regular people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander.

[Dave Anthony]

Also the farmers out of here. They're just so. The farmers are just so. What do we need them for? We don't need them anymore. This country does not need a farmer anymore. We have a bunch of stuff to eat. Stop with the farmers already. They're so annoying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do we have to eat?

[Dave Anthony]

They're a bunch of tart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do we have to eat? There's so much to eat. What are we eating?

[Dave Anthony]

Popeyes? We're good, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's fine. So he also wants to remain in the cabinet because Britain was seizing American ships. 250American vessels have been taken and crew were forced to join the Royal Navy. Alexander was frantic to not have this increase anti British sentiment. America.

[Dave Anthony]

Which is a big deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which they should be. For the love of God.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm starting to see a lot of negativity towards the Brits in America. Where's this coming from?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the thing is, is like he was worried that. That the anti British might lead to his British inspired financial system being dismantled.

[Dave Anthony]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is a real long time goal. And under Washington the army grew from 500 soldiers to 5,000.

[Dave Anthony]

Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Madison, now House leader, was disgusted by Alexander's ability to Turn every crisis, quote, into a resource for accumulating force and government.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Washington considered sending Alexander to negotiate peace with Great Britain, but Republicans thought his love of the British would be a problem.

[Dave Anthony]

They're right. He's seven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, they're like, yeah, of course. You'd be like, oh, that would be perfect. I mean, that'd be perfect. Sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he picks John Jay. And that pissed off farmers who waited. Jay as much as Alexander. And Washington called Pennsylvania. A Pennsylvania rep. To a meeting to find a way forward. But Alexander insisted that Washington needed, quote, an immediate resort to military force. Now, again, we're talking about, like, protesting farmers, right? Not like an enemy like in war, but.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, no, but. I mean, but. But. But a dastardly group of people who really just seem to be out for their own. And. And again, they. There's not like. Let me ask you this. Do we need food anymore?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

Do we? I feel like we're post farmer dude food. Not in the same way. It's fine. We have so much corn. We don't need any more lettuce. We're good. We did that. Elon's coming out with a paste. We're all gonna be pasty boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please stop talking.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey, you gonna be tasty, pasty? I think we're gonna be fine. I think the thing is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why is your voice going on?

[Dave Anthony]

Because I'm freaking out. We're gonna die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. So he writes, washington report calling the west. Western farmers refuses to pay.

[Dave Anthony]

Can you imagine the dread you get when an Alexander Hamilton report comes to you? I was gonna go out later. Yeah, it's the weekend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he called the western farmers refusal to pay the whiskey tax. Treason. The rebellion needed to be crushed by a force of no less than 12,000 soldiers. And he wrote.

[Dave Anthony]

Sucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He does suck. He wrote. And I mean, these guys are just protesting. He wrote anonymous letters for papers.

[Dave Anthony]

He's Stephen Miller.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. To convince the public that the tax protests were part of a dangerous conspiracy to drive the US to war. Public sentiment began to shift against the rebels. And in the end, Washington agreed with Alexander. 13, 000 militiamen were put on active duty. Wow.

[Dave Anthony]

He is Stephen Miller.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's so bad, isn't he?

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, he's. He's very like. He just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's bad.

[Dave Anthony]

He's just worried about his own.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's bad.

[Dave Anthony]

We've just been from the beginning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's time to lead the soldiers to Pennsylvania. And Alexander puts on his military uniform.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And left a pregnant Eliza. And rode out with this new army.

[Dave Anthony]

Army. I can't believe he's still loading like, you know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Washington, kids. Washington does not want to kill Americans. Hamilton does and he bails. So he's on it until they get to Philadelphia or you know, near his house about Vernon.

[Dave Anthony]

He's out, actually. I'll go. I'll probably go here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just saw my.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll go in here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just saw my pool.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna go in here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

General Henry Lee was put in charge. And Alexander whipped up bloodlust amongst. Amongst the troops. And he said those unwilling to pay the tax were, quote, wicked insurgents.

[Dave Anthony]

This is crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And those who resisted should be skewered, shot or crazy.

[Dave Anthony]

This is crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Foreigners were to be deported.

[Dave Anthony]

Fight a fucking. You're going after farmers? Yeah. And what are they? Did they have a militia? Are they ready? Is there a farming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I mean, not as well equipped, but they're going to have an army of some sort.

[Dave Anthony]

A farming. Please call it a farming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have an army of some sort.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a farming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sharp, swarming, worse. Romy for the race.

[Dave Anthony]

Stop doing it. Romy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No foreigners are going to be deported. He had federalists in Congress lobby to make it legal to confiscate farmers property. Hunt them and kill them as outlaws. They kill them. Hunt them and kill them on the way. He ordered supplies taken from civilians to feed soldiers, many of whom were nearly cotton naked and starving. Is that okay?

[Dave Anthony]

That's very okay. We want that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He did not get a bloody revenge. Hugely outnumbered, the rebellious farmers never attacked. Of course they didn't. Yeah, it's a giant army. Like men were rounded up and interrogated by Alexander for Hours, sometimes days. 20 or so men were marched to into Philadelphia.

[Dave Anthony]

20 or so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

20 or so, yeah. Not a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

Ah, we got them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not. That's hurting anybody.

[Dave Anthony]

Look at this. Yeah, there's like the enemy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I can count them.

[Dave Anthony]

Disgusting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know what we're doing.

[Dave Anthony]

We're trying to get. They're the worst. Look at them now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're just farmers.

[Dave Anthony]

Nah, they're so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, that was Oshkosh on the.

[Dave Anthony]

Rip the masks off. I'm gonna go bang their wives just to send a message.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So these 20 guys, what are you doing? Our march to Philadelphia. Even the old sick were, quote, forced to run through the snow in chains. In the end, two are convicted. One had cognitive issues. And Alex wants to make an example of them as traitors. But Washington then pardons them.

[Dave Anthony]

Them. Real weird stuff going on Here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then in his State of the Union, Washington blamed it all on Republicans agitating the western populace.

[Dave Anthony]

But it's Hamilton, but. Oh, the farmer rebellion or the move of bringing an army to the farmers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, the farm farmer rebellion.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, the farmer blaming it on, like, agitating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Versus just being like, just let them be fair. So Washington was really not very good either. No, it's crazy, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, they're rich bad.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, it does. I'm not trying again. I'm not. But it does sound like Stephen Miller Trump. You got an old guy, probably incontinent, who's just listening to a younger guy who's just a real little prick. And he's just going like, we must get the farmers. And he's like, go get them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Classic America.

[Dave Anthony]

It's called bookending.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So of all those guys, only two are convicted.

[Dave Anthony]

One's cognitively.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, one cognitive. The other. And he pardons both. And in his next State of the Union, Washington blames it all on Republicans agitating the western population.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander got word that Eliza had miscarried and she left the with guards to keep him safe from angry crowds. He left with. I mean, he left with guards with him who did Hamilton. Okay, so he has to travel with guards.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Because the crowds, people are like, you're the worst. It's not in the musical, by the way. But again, it's a musical. It's not supposed to be real. It's just fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you seen my new Pulp hot musical?

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I love that. Oh, my God. I'm making a musical. Oh, it's a Mussolini rendition. It's awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great.

[Dave Anthony]

It's really good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really great.

[Dave Anthony]

It's gonna be great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People are writing these down. I'm gonna do this musical. So shortly after he tells Washington he's he's going to be leaving the cabinet. And the main reason was I suck

[Dave Anthony]

and everyone hates me and I everything up and I'm purely evil and everything I've done is so bad and I'm an idiot. And honestly, the fact that I'm even just rooting for these things after we went through all this to get away from it. I'm a selfish piece of who only fights for me. I was my neighbor's wife on my kitchen island way too much. I jizzed in my pants. It's just a whole thing. I just have been really just difficult the whole time. I declared a war on farmers on farmers. The people who were in charge of Giving us the food because they were working with whiskey training. I mean, I have been a terrible, horrible p. You. You shouldn't even be here. I forced you to keep going. I mean, I suck. I'll tell you what's not gonna happen in the future. No guy's gonna write positive stuff about me. And even if he does, nobody's gonna put it to music because that would be an absolute dereliction of art. I don't even know if that's a term, cuz I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking moron. I have a black evil heart and I suck. So I gotta go. I gotta go back to my wife. I'm pretty sure she's a ghost at this point. Somehow I keep throttling babies in her and then they keep dying on the dumbass. So I gotta get out of here. I think this country would have had a shot if it wasn't for me. Anyway, I gotta.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. No, great speech.

[Dave Anthony]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So after the miscarry.

[Dave Anthony]

All right, I'll stay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He tells Washington he would be leaving the cabin cabinet. And the main reason was his huge amount of debt. He thought he could climb out in a few years and it just didn't work.

[Dave Anthony]

It's so funny to think of having debt. So you leave office.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Bizarre.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

Just hang in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A few months into retirement, John Jay came back with a treaty, the J Treaty. And Washington didn't like it. He wanted the Bush to relinquish their. Their. The British. Sorry. He wanted the British to relinquish their outpost in the west, which already said, right. Release captured soldiers and repay Americans for the slaves they took. I mean, I. I guess maybe some people hearing this are like, oh, that's weird. Washington was like the worst slave owner. He is really awful.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Love slaves loved owning and like losing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He had wanted the British to. Look, none of that was out there. None of that was there inside the John Jay treaty. So all the stuff that Washington wants is not in the J Treaty.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's other.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The treaty helped America avoid war, but heavily favored the Brits. So Washington sends a short note asking Alexander's opinion.

[Dave Anthony]

Good. Go to that guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he wrote back 6,000 words. What the. What the. It's a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

What a bored loser.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He. He is such an annoying guy.

[Dave Anthony]

He's just annoying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He would have loved Twitter, though.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he thinks it's pretty good. Washington knew the Republican press would. Would be vicious if it. If it knew the contents too early. Okay, so. So he keeps. He keeps at Keeps it secret. I mean, until it gets ratified. And the vote was right along party lines. Federalists win. To sell the treaty to America, Washington needed Alexander's help in. In the summer of 1795, he speaks in favor of the J Treaty in front of a large crowd on the steps of New York City Hall. Okay, I've done that.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They responded with, quote, hissings, coughings, and hootings.

[Dave Anthony]

Some just had tb. Hey. Hissers just boo. It's so much better. I'm in a cough.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So there's a big crowd. He's given a speech in front of city Hall. They start hooing and hooting and hollering at him. He keeps talking. And so people pick up stones and start throwing out. Good one. Called him a coward who helped the Tories. He challenged that man to a duel.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, A man challenged him to a duel in half an hour. And Alexander said he'd already had a. A dual plan.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm unfortunately booked in a house. I have a duel, then I don't stop. I have a duel. I have a 230. I have a 3:30. I could do a 4 or a 4:30.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a 25 hour a day duel guy.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm ready to go. I'm just gonna stay on my mark.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander said he'd already had a dual plan for that time, but there that. That he'd gotten in touch, and then he got in touch about arrangements. But nothing. Nothing ever came of that.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. Just a fake duel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

After that, when he spoke about the J Treaty, Alexander made sure the crowd was full of merchants and federalists.

[Dave Anthony]

Hey. All right. A home game. This kicks ass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He wrote. He wrote essays. Get guess the. Guess how many.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, I mean, he's really going for it now, so. 10?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Higher.

[Dave Anthony]

20?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Higher.

[Dave Anthony]

No. 40.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, just a little bit lower.

[Dave Anthony]

35.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Dave Anthony]

More. 38.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

God damn it. I. I hate you know what this is? This is the story of a man who hates his wife. This is really what it is. He's just everyone else, and anytime he's at home, he's like, I gotta write. I gotta work. I can't. You doing. Jesus Christ, leave me alone. I hate you. So he's just sitting in a room, just banging, banging out these manuscripts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From all indications, he did love his wife and family a lot.

[Dave Anthony]

No, he didn't. No, he did not. No, he didn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They really say that?

[Dave Anthony]

No. Who said that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. That's really believed by most people.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I. But you know why he loved her? Because he never saw Her. He was the neighbors or writing. He was either traveling being. Being a. Or he was writing or he was banging. She was probably like, you want to come to bed? I can't. I have another five essays to write. Short ones. Short? You can't write a short essay. Eliza, get out of here. Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he writes 38 essays with the colleague. And this turns the tide enough that Washington finally feels comfortable signing the J Treaty, giving Alexander credit for his victory and privately saying that he wished he was still in his cabinet. Even Jefferson, who hated the outcome, was impressed with how Alexander had swayed public opinion, calling him a colossus. Yeah, but.

[Dave Anthony]

But he just like. He just like. Eventually you just go like, fine, fine, fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As far as fine. As far as.

[Dave Anthony]

You just like, shut up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Shut up. Yeah, fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're right. So Washington asked for Alexander's help again to help write the farewell address, published six months before he left office.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander peppered his bits in. He hoped that they might help the Federalists look good in the next election.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He called those who dissented from the administration unprincipled demand.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, this is so reminiscent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It urged friendliness to Great Britain and lightly praised Alexander's economic system. Republicans hated it and saw it as pure partisanship.

[Dave Anthony]

It's crazy. This is the first one

[Gareth Reynolds]

you would

[Dave Anthony]

think we would be like, okay for like 40 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I just.

[Dave Anthony]

Right away, though, it's just like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, this guy did so much.

[Dave Anthony]

He's so Stephen Millery. I don't mean to overuse that, but it's very much like a little twerp acting for selfish reasons because he's just kind of real into his own ideology that seems like it's overall a cancer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And he hates his wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the election of 1796, the Federalist running was Vice President John Adams. For Republicans, there were a few. Jefferson, Aaron Burr. And Burr got pushback from Republicans and Federalists. Powerful Southern Railroad, powerful Southern Republicans like Jefferson, Madison and Monroe Saw how much Burr was likened in the north and worried he would become president. So to keep a Southerner in the White House, they work to ruin his chances.

[Dave Anthony]

What the is with you guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean?

[Dave Anthony]

Let me run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, just because I'm popular.

[Dave Anthony]

Why are you pushing back so much?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would be better if you ran for less.

[Dave Anthony]

What? Why are you insist? Let me ask you a question. Okay. Why don't you just let me try in earnest instead of always fighting back and pushing back. Let Bird do his thing. Okay. I'm so fucking sick and Tired of you padded wig motherfuckers thinking that you could put your fingers on the goddamn scales. If Hamilton's fingers aren't inside one of his fucking neighbors. Twats. Okay? He's always putting his fingers on the scales.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Enough. Now, when did you become Bill Burr?

[Dave Anthony]

That. That was established at a pre. That's the. That's my Burr, okay? That's how my. I. My Aaron Burr is Bill Burr. All right? Leave me alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, all right, all right.

[Dave Anthony]

I cannot fucking believe people like this fucking piece of shit more than me. Fuck you, Dave. By the way, you suck too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay? So powerful Southern Republicans like Jefferson, Madison, Monroe saw how much Burr was like in the north and worried he'd become president, so they're ruining his chances. When Alexander Herbert Burr wants to run for president, he denigrated him to the electoral college, which should be very validating for Burr, calling him, quote, unprincipled both as a public servant and man. A public and private man. Sorry. Who stood for nothing but what suits his interests and ambition.

[Dave Anthony]

Thou doth protest too much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a politician.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, it's also. Hey, you mean he's. You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. He hated Burr since he defeated his father in law for Senate.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it attacked him relentlessly, publicly and privately. And friends found Alexander to be warm, funny and generous, but he would not tolerate disloyalty. And he held grudges.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, he sucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He believed Burr was devoid of principles, saying, quote, I felt it a religious duty to oppose his career.

[Dave Anthony]

This is so important from God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is so crazy. Burr, not a fan of mudsling. Just didn't respond.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like, I'll be over here.

[Dave Anthony]

I don't need to talk to this loser.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander wrote attacks on Jefferson and 25 essays.

[Dave Anthony]

You. You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You absolute.

[Dave Anthony]

Like, even if you like, whatever about him. This is the worst person. This is. This is an Angie's List, man. It's really bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He called him a dangerous man who wanted war with England, a plagiarist, and said he had sex.

[Dave Anthony]

Took a long time to drop my food off and that I didn't care for. And when it arrived, it was a

[Gareth Reynolds]

little cold, and said he had sex with black women.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoa. What the fuck?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And delighted in cruelties of the French religion. Sorry. Revolution. He appealed to Southern slave owners. Quote, were I a Southern planter?

[Dave Anthony]

This is what Hamilton says.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, this is what. Yes, sorry. It's what Hamilton says about Burr.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Were I a Southern planter owning Negroes, I should 10,000 times more be alarmed at Mr. Jefferson's ardent wish for emancipation. That at Mr. Adams system of checks and balances. It worked. Federalist John Adams was elected with Jefferson

[Dave Anthony]

as VP because the voting. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

By the way, I like that system

[Gareth Reynolds]

better that we can vote for vice president.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. I like that. Number two becomes the vice president.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I 100 agree.

[Dave Anthony]

It's just like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no more than that. If you're gonna have these four people run.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoever gets the highest votes is president.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. That's what I mean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

You have that. And then number two is the vice president. And these. Let these two fight it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

And then, you know, like, if you don't like it, then we got a solution.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But like. But like. Yeah, put it before.

[Dave Anthony]

The whole thing now is we're like, oh, what then, Vance?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, there's definitely been a few elections in my life where people are like, the vice president's the best one.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And in the last election.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was very clear.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. No, Vance was the reason. I agree. I mean, he's just like charismatic. He's got it. He's cool. He's so funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was thinking of waltz.

[Dave Anthony]

Whoa, oh, oh. I don't know. Kind of advance is the one who kind of. Nope. Made my nipples big. He dilated my titties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anyway, so Adams is President Jefferson's VP laughing over Burr's pathetic loan vote. Alexander wrote that the result would be. It would quote, not a little mortified Burr Adams kept Washington's cabinet, which Alexander loves. One was the best man at Alexander's wedding. Another work for. Worked with him at the treasury. And another he knew from his. His army days.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's got a real warm room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a good cabinet.

[Dave Anthony]

Right? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These are my boys.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Secretary of State John Marshall was a big fan of Alexander's once saying sitting next to Alexander made him feel like, quote, a mere candle besides the sun at midday. Now you said that about me.

[Dave Anthony]

What? Oh, isn't that another way to say someone's useless?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awesome. Do you want to read it again?

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A mere candle beside the sun at midday. They constantly. Is that it? They constantly wrote to Alexander.

[Dave Anthony]

Forgot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What am I doing?

[Dave Anthony]

So. So he is saying it's like having a candle lit at midday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which is.

[Dave Anthony]

Right. That sounds useful. Oh, he feels. Right, sorry. He feels like he's a candle in the shadow of the power of the sun. Hamilton's the sun. He's a mere candle. Right, Cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They constantly wrote to Alexander asking for guidance.

[Dave Anthony]

I would never write anything to Alexander. Gentlemen, where Do I start?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep it brief. I have 17 pages.

[Dave Anthony]

The year was 1731.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wrote a 19 page letter about your doorbell.

[Dave Anthony]

I wrote a book about your letter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They constantly wrote to Alexander for guidance. One sent Alexander the rough draft of Adams. First State of the Union for edits. So the entire cabinet are Hamilton guys.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Secretary of War told Alexander to think of himself as still a member of the cabinet. Yeah, one of us.

[Dave Anthony]

He won.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He did win. Another said he'd listened to whatever orders Alexander gave him. So these men have no loyalty to Adams, who actually, they actually hated him.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Basically, Adams tried to make things non partisan and invited Jefferson and Madison to go on a diplomatic trip to France.

[Dave Anthony]

Right, Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They both said no.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When Alexander heard, he told his cabinet boys to thwart any partisan efforts of Adams. So they all threatened to resign over the mission requests. And one day, a story about Alexander's affair with Maria Reynolds was printed with copies of the document he'd shown the three men who'd questioned him in 1792.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was written by notorious gossip editor James Calendar. Worst of all to Alexander was that Calendar insinuated the whole affair story was a ruse. That it's the payments. Right. To. To, to the wife.

[Dave Anthony]

They think that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, so they're, he's saying they know that I was paying off this woman.

[Dave Anthony]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're using it to make it seem like I'm doing speculation.

[Dave Anthony]

Huh? Yeah, Right. Which he was worried about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander was enraged. Hurting his wife and family was bad, but tarnishing his political reputation.

[Dave Anthony]

I also love the guys who do all the terrible and then are like telling my wife, telling my wife what I did. Do you have any idea how much pain you're causing my family by telling them what I did?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Clinton was really like, really just like next level with all that.

[Dave Anthony]

I've been through enough. I've been the victim of all my scandals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did not have sex with that woman.

[Dave Anthony]

That 22 year old's life that I ruined has been one of the hardest things I've had to go through.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And when, I mean when I say hard,

[Dave Anthony]

when I tasted the cigar that I put inside of her badge, that was one of the toughest moments of my life. When I got caught and it was the tasty. It ruined cigars for me because every time I put a regular cigar in my mouth, I think, man, that thing does not taste like intern poon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really desperately wish you had not said that.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying to relate to you, David.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I Just don't want.

[Dave Anthony]

Dave, you ever had to say, listen. It's like the old saying goes, cigars for poon. Cigarettes go them back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody says that.

[Dave Anthony]

Cigarettes go in the cigars go in the front.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why it's called the cigarette holder.

[Dave Anthony]

I'll tell. Well, listen. Did you know that if you find the right, it can trim the end off your cigar? It's a cut. No. That's why they call it the cooter cutter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Begging you to stop.

[Dave Anthony]

That's why they call it the cougar cutter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what?

[Dave Anthony]

We are going to impeach you, by the way. I'll tell you what. When I went down on her, it tasted like a peach. What? Yum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop talking.

[Dave Anthony]

Yummy. Yummy. All right. I shot it on her head. Like Lincoln.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hurting his wife and family is bad, but tarnishing his political reputation was worse. Congress found him innocent years ago. And he knew being accused of stealing government funds could end any future political moves he wanted to make. Friends and allies told him to stay silent, especially since he was cleared. Respond. He's just gonna get more attention.

[Dave Anthony]

So he's going to respond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But a biographer. But as a biographer called his quote, feverish, sometimes even grotesque. Concerned for his reputation, took over.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He couldn't help himself. Quote. I am obliged to punish, to punish, to publish everything. I am obliged. Everything sure is a play by play of his affair with Maria Reynolds.

[Dave Anthony]

Well. And he's doing it why? Because he thinks it gets him off the speculation accusation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It allow. He's like this will allow me to continue working in politics because I'm not a crook.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just cheating sex with a woman and bang for it. He tried to avoid blame for continuing the fair, saying he was reluctant to stop having sex because he was so distraught by the idea of ending it. Is it possible that that's why Cherno loves him? Because they have the same thought process of being gross?

[Dave Anthony]

Wait, what was the Cherno thing? I don't remember.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just. All of Chernow's conclusions he reaches are of this.

[Dave Anthony]

Right? Right. Yeah, right. Right. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, right strange, like gross. Yeah. I couldn't stop. Kill herself.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He cast himself as the victim, saying he'd been targeted by her husband James. He said if he wanted to steal from the treasury, he would have stolen much more and picked a much smarter co. Conspirator, Right?

[Dave Anthony]

Always.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He claimed James entrapped and extorted him and used Maria as bait.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, why'd you. The bait, dummy. That's your Issue. Are we still in part three?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, we are still in part three. We're getting close. We're getting close.

[Dave Anthony]

It's a long part three.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This was the worst tactic he could have taken.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some friends were absolutely disgusted. Henry Knox called the confession quote, humiliating in the extreme. This is like when Clinton did the. Yeah, it depends what is is. Yeah. And the sex. Like, yeah, did not.

[Dave Anthony]

It depends on what your definition of is is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Another friend asked why he would, quote, degrade himself in the.

[Dave Anthony]

Imagine Clinton's face when they were like, there's your. Comes on the dress. He was like, oh, she didn't wash the dress.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Another friend asked why he would, quote, degrade himself in the estimation of all good men and scandalize his family to clear himself of charges which no man believed.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm an idiot and I suck and I'm selfish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't stop writing. I'm the.

[Dave Anthony]

I can't put a pen down. I can't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It.

[Dave Anthony]

It's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Instead of quieting skepticism, it increased it.

[Dave Anthony]

James's wife raped me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

People said the only reason he would write such a confession was to hide something worse.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He divulged every dirty detail, which was read by Eliza and everyone they knew. I mean, could you imagine again, at the beginning, it was like, I can't believe you would do this to my wife. But like, he's making.

[Dave Anthony]

She's like, I read it. I'm so sorry they put you through this, baby. That to me, Baby, I'm so sorry they did this to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You never let me ride you.

[Dave Anthony]

This is so bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She was writing all the time.

[Dave Anthony]

I mean, just. I. Well, look it. I'm sorry. I'm just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys did role play. I've been like, you be Jefferson. I'll be. You know, but I.

[Dave Anthony]

Baby, baby, baby, there's something you're missing here. Here, give me your hand. Okay. I don't like you. I don't care about you, and I hate you. Okay? And if anyone ever writes anything about this that says that I love you, they're just stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay?

[Dave Anthony]

I don't care about your feelings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay?

[Dave Anthony]

I like me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What. What do you want for dinner?

[Dave Anthony]

I'm gonna really love to go down on the neighbor. I don't know, pot roast, whatever. Who cares? Hurry up. I'm gonna write a letter about myself to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet he did that.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, dear Ms. Alexander, you are tremendous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he wrote that one reason he was sleeping with Maria after husband confronted him was despair. Eliza hurt if the story came out. I can't.

[Dave Anthony]

Talking her so my wife wouldn't find me. Tell you. I had to. To save my wife. I had to the neighbor to. To for Eliza to be okay. And that was that. Talk about a high stakes doggy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. His excuses are so bad, it's crazy. I mean, they're so bad.

[Dave Anthony]

He's written too much stuff. He's starting to be like, I can write my way out of anything. If I didn't bang Maria Moore, Eliza would find out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quote, I dreaded extremely a disclosure and was willing to make large sacrifices to avoid it.

[Dave Anthony]

This. This guy is out of his mind. This guy is out of his mind. It's not writing it. It's thinking. It's going to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's the founding father of horrible adultery.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes. And being like, baby, I saved you

[Gareth Reynolds]

by making her come. I was making you.

[Dave Anthony]

I put it in her dirty starfish so that you'd feel good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But now he was disclosing crazy details publicly. And Eliza was recovering from giving birth to their sixth child.

[Dave Anthony]

Ah, man, I hope you're okay. There's something you should know. She snowballed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

While you're recovering, I wrote some stuff for you to read.

[Dave Anthony]

We invented a technique called the snowball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander was sheer colander got the story from one of three men he'd made his confession to.

[Dave Anthony]

All, by the way, the initial story is over. Who cares anymore? So he's now out there just being like, you don't understand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the represent. Right? The congress guys. Muhlenberg, Venable, and Monroe. He thought Monroe was the prime suspect who told. But a more have any idea what

[Dave Anthony]

you've put my wife through? My wife has been through so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But a more likely suspect is Beckley, the Virginia clerk who copied the documents.

[Dave Anthony]

Yeah, that guy was like, yeah, saw a bunch of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander's friends told him at the time that. But he ignored. Instead, he went to confront Moreau, who was visiting family nearby.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, well, well. A nice family. Why don't I ruin that for you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander was, quote, very much.

[Dave Anthony]

She ate my ass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was very much agitated when he arrived. Maria ate my ass and accused Monroe of giving the documents to Calendar.

[Dave Anthony]

Whatever you did did, I had to tell Eliza that I had my ass eaten by my neighbor today. You've put her through so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He raved until, daddy, are we gonna make s'?

[Dave Anthony]

Mores? Get out of here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander raved until Monroe told him to shut up so he could answer his accusations.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay, talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, go ahead. At one point, I read a lot of letters. They had to be pulled apart.

[Dave Anthony]

Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Finally Monroe told him that he'd only been back in the US for two weeks.

[Dave Anthony]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He said he'd given the documents to friend a copy in 1792, but he never sent them to Colander. And Alexander called Monroe a liar.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, I guess I'm going to leave and go somewhere else to say stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Monroe called Alexander a scoundrel. Quote, I will meet you like a gentleman.

[Dave Anthony]

What does that mean? Duel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Duel. Monroe, quote, I am ready. Get your pistols. Alexander was very upset, but Moreau was, quote, quite cool. Monroe's friends begged them to reconsider. Alexander demanded Monroe state he had not used the affair to hide theft. Monroe agreed to write a letter stating that, and Alexander left. So Monroe sends the letter to Alexander, who says, that's not good enough.

[Dave Anthony]

God damn this guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. This is. My wife knows now that I like to toss salads.

[Dave Anthony]

Why are you making my wife learn all this stuff about me? This is crazy, Alexander.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You wrote everything in detail.

[Dave Anthony]

Because I had to spare Eliza. Because someone started pretending I was doing this for nefarious reasons. I was entrapped into fucking Maria as often as I did. And yes, there were certain times where we invented certain sexual things, but that was the only way for me to keep it going so that people wouldn't find out what was happening and Eliza would be spared. She just had another one of my children. And she had to think about the time that I invented a sexual position called the One Wheeled Pharaoh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. You drew illustrations?

[Dave Anthony]

She's gonna find out I made a position called the clothesline where I put Maria's clothes on my penis, that it's hard. And then she. She has to take it off, and then I bang the out of her again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You drew detailed illustrations of every sex act?

[Dave Anthony]

Yes, to spare a lie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This one.

[Dave Anthony]

To spare a lie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Korean Spine Cruncher, which I want to know about.

[Dave Anthony]

To spare Eliza. To spare Eliza. It's where you can crack the woman's back through her asshole with your penis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, but what's the fruit basket?

[Dave Anthony]

The fruit basket is where you take your limp dick, hold it up, make your balls look like two apples, and then you say, wanna nana? And you drop your cock down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What about the monkey jump?

[Dave Anthony]

The monkey jump is quite simple. It's where your penis is a branch, and you keep rotating the woman's hand on it like she's jumping from branch to branch. And while she does it, you go,

[Gareth Reynolds]

what's lost in the. Mariana, I'm not gonna keep doing this.

[Dave Anthony]

It's where you put your penis inside of the woman. And you have her spin like a spitfire hog and you never exit. Therefore it looks like you're just a set of testicles. And the whole time you say, where's my penis? Does anyone have radar? Okay, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Dave Anthony]

And my wife is sitting at home in a rocking chair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Dave Anthony]

After just giving birth to my 18th child.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I gotta say again, it seems like this might be on you.

[Dave Anthony]

This is. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what's not on me, Eliza.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he sends a letter to Alexander who says, it's not good enough. And over the next six months, he kept writing Monroe, demanding a stronger vindication. So he's like, another letter. And Monroe just writes back, no, no, I'm done.

[Dave Anthony]

You are the worst.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alexander again accuses Monroe of being the architect behind the calendar piece, calling him, quote, malignant and dishonorable.

[Dave Anthony]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Monroe asked Aaron Burr to deliver letters between himself and Alexander, wrongly assuming that they're still friends.

[Dave Anthony]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Burr thinks the whole thing is childish. He's like, well, this is stupid. What are you guys doing?

[Dave Anthony]

You guys are too. You're toddlers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What are you guys doing?

[Dave Anthony]

You guys are absolute losers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Monroe told Burr, you are grown ass men.

[Dave Anthony]

This is like watching fucking Muppet Babies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Monroe told Burr he thought Beckley had done it.

[Dave Anthony]

Who the fuck is Beckley?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beckley is the guy who copied the letters.

[Dave Anthony]

Oh, right, yeah. Well, it was him. We already established. He wrote everything down. He read every fucking word and then he had to transcribe it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bird told Monroe to just write the letter Alexander wanted. He also started throwing away angry letters that they gave him to give back and forth instead of delivering them.

[Dave Anthony]

Wow. Did you read it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did.

[Dave Anthony]

Haha.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. This will be a really good one.

[Dave Anthony]

Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This will be the pictures.

[Dave Anthony]

I'm awaiting a reply.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The pictures are weird. What is the potato exploder?

[Dave Anthony]

The potato exploder is pretty obvious. It's where the second you're about to bust a nut, you hold on to the end of your penis as hard as possible so your balls get really big and swell up. But I'm not going to keep doing this. Okay. I'm being very clear. Okay. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he's throwing him out and he's worried it's going to escalate into a duel. That's why he's throwing him out. So this causes the fight to kind of die out.

[Dave Anthony]

Out. That's great. I haven't heard from him in a

[Gareth Reynolds]

while and it's very possible that Aaron Burr averted a duel and saved Alexander or Monroe's life.

[Dave Anthony]

Well, that's a shame for him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

End of part three.

[Dave Anthony]

What an exhausting piece of he is. I'm not even trying to be a homer saying that like because we're doing this. He sucks. I mean he sucks. He's the evidence is endlessly that he sucks. The letters alone, he sucks. His cover alone for fucking Maria. He sucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let alone that's outside of his his, his ideological beliefs. Yes, he fucking sucks.

[Dave Anthony]

His ideology is absolutely selfishly disgraceful. If you look at him, you go, this is the seed that gives you the nightmare we are living in today. And then they write a fucking musical about him. And some dipshit on our clip goes is dude, what do you want? It's Broadway. This whole thing's like up for interpretation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sources are and written by Whitney I'm sorry, Whitney Britney Cohen Brown Sources Jefferson and Hamilton the Rivalry that Forged a Nation by John Furling Radical Hamilton Economic Lessons from a Misunderstood Founder by Christian Parenti the Price of Greatness Alexander Hamilton James Madison and the Creation of American Oligarchy by Jeff Cost the Whiskey Rebellion George Washington Alexander Hamilton and the Frontier Rebels who Challenged America's Newfound Sovereignty by William Hogland Not a Nation of Immigrants Settler Colonial Colonialism White Supremacy and A History of Erasure and Exclusion by Roxanne Dunbar Ortiz Hamilton's Curse How Jefferson's Arch Enemy Betrayed the American Revolution by Thomas J. D. Lorenzo Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow the Douchebag the Hamilton Scheme An Epic Tale of Money and Power in the American Founding by William Hogland Fallen Founder the Life of Aaron Burr by Nancy Eisenberg One Nation Under Debt Hamilton, Jefferson and the History of what We Owe by Robert Wright Duel Alexander Hamilton Aaron Burr and the Future of America by Thomas Fleming An Odious and Immoral Thing by Jesse Sir Philippe the that Time When Alexander Hamilton almost Dueled James Monroe Smithsonian Magazine Online Alexander Hamilton and Slaver question Mark A new research says yes the New York Times Online the Pistol that Killed the Founding father Published on April 4, 2012 by New York Historical Society and then various primary sources on Founders Archives Gov.