Introducing: Next We Have with Gareth Reynolds

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds Episode: Introducing: Next We Have with Gareth Reynolds
Release Date: June 6, 2025

---

Introduction to "Next We Have"

In this special episode, Gareth Reynolds announces his new podcast titled "Next We Have", which is designed to cater to listeners with shorter attention spans through a series of quick, engaging segments. Unlike The Dollop, which delves deep into historical topics, "Next We Have" emphasizes brevity and variety to keep the audience entertained.

Gareth Reynolds [00:00]:
"Next we have because it's full of segments. It's quick segments. We're leaning into the short attention span, and that's what you're about to hear."

He outlines an array of diverse segments such as "Arnold Schwarzenegger Family Tree," "One Star Sex Toy Review," "Car Stuck in a Field," and many others, promising a dynamic and unpredictable listening experience.

Gareth Reynolds [00:54]:
"We have so many segments next week."

Helping a Caller: The Holiday Inn Express Review

The first segment features a guest appearance by Lisa Gilroy, who collaborates with Gareth to assist a listener named Hannah in drafting a scathing review against Holiday Inn Express for a troubling experience she endured.

Hannah's Experience

Hannah recounts her ordeal of getting stuck in a hotel elevator at a Holiday Inn Express during a trip from California to Washington. The incident escalates when hotel staff enter her room unannounced with a saxophone, leading to discomfort and a prolonged 25-minute confinement.

Hannah [05:07]:
"I was in the elevator for about 25 minutes."

Crafting the Review

Gareth and Lisa engage in a humorous and irreverent brainstorming session to pen a mock Yelp review, incorporating snarky remarks and playful jabs at the hotel's service.

Gareth Reynolds [11:12]:
"Sup Fuckos? The term Holiday Inn is very appropriate for this establishment because I went in their elevator and was never allowed to go out."

The review humorously highlights Hannah's dissatisfaction, emphasizing the lack of empathy from the hotel staff and the frustrating resolution.

Gareth Reynolds [15:55]:
"This did ruin my new job."

Resolution and Catharsis

Hannah expresses relief and gratitude for the opportunity to vent her frustrations, finding the experience cathartic despite the chaotic process.

Hannah [22:29]:
"I think it's perfect. I have no notes."

Interactive Segment: Guess That Sound

Transitioning to a more playful segment, Gareth introduces a game where listeners guess various sounds, ranging from animal noises to odd mechanical noises. Hosted by Alex Burns, the segment features humorous misinterpretations and lighthearted banter.

Gareth Reynolds [25:10]:
"So sounds where we'll play you the audio of a video and then you'll guess what the video is based on the sound that you hear."

Participants attempt to identify sounds like a cat eating Doritos and doves being released at a wedding, leading to amusing exchanges and creative guesses.

Gareth Reynolds [26:27]:
"This is another one of those ones where I would, I. My first instinct would not be to film, but that cat is awesome."

Personality Test Segment

In an effort to establish a strong brand persona for "Next We Have", Gareth participates in a personality test guided by producer Kevin Bartelt. The segment is filled with comedic self-assessments and candid reflections on Gareth's traits.

Kevin Bartelt [34:55]:
"So we found a few, like, personality tests that we thought would be really helpful for you to take."

Gareth's answers reveal his humorous take on his own personality traits, such as being a "somewhat agree" stickler for rules and a "strongly disagree" attitude towards drama.

Gareth Reynolds [37:05]:
"You have high standards. I just feel like you... I do have high standards, especially when it comes to this stupid thing."

Personal Confession: Childhood Incident

One of the most engaging moments of the episode is Gareth's heartfelt confession about a childhood incident where he unintentionally vomited on his friend Jim during a slumber party. This segment showcases vulnerability and the value of seeking forgiveness.

Gareth's Story

Gareth narrates how, at an 11-year-old slumber party, he felt nauseous and ended up vomiting on Jim's sleeping bag. Fearing backlash, he lied about the incident, causing Jim to receive the same treatment from their peers and parents.

Gareth Reynolds [56:14]:
"So, Jim, I'm about to confess something that happened when we were kids."

Jim's Response

Jim joins the conversation and reacts with understanding and forgiveness, highlighting the strength of their enduring friendship despite the embarrassing mishap.

Jim [63:34]:
"I'm glad you were able to unload that and fully process that issue that's been haunting you."

Closing Remarks and Production Credits

The episode concludes with Gareth promoting both "Next We Have" and The Dollop, mentioning upcoming tours and animated episodes in collaboration with Lakeside Animation. He encourages listeners to rate the podcast and stay connected through various platforms.

Gareth Reynolds [64:07]:
"If you like the show, please make sure to give it 5 stars on Apple Podcasts or Spotify."

Production Team:

• Host: Gareth Reynolds
• Producers: Kevin Bartelt, Alex Burns
• Associate Producer: AJ McKeon
• Video Editor: John De Bruin
• Social Media Editor: Caitlin Tanwakio
• Theme Song: Tom Carty

Conclusion

This episode of The Dollop serves as a comprehensive introduction to Gareth Reynolds' new venture, "Next We Have", blending humor, personal stories, and interactive segments to engage listeners. From assisting a distressed caller to sharing a personal childhood story, Gareth showcases his comedic prowess and ability to connect with both guests and the audience.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds [00:00]: "Next we have because it's full of segments."
• Hannah [05:07]: "I was in the elevator for about 25 minutes."
• Gareth Reynolds [11:12]: "Sup Fuckos? The term Holiday Inn is very appropriate..."
• Jim [63:34]: "I'm glad you were able to unload that and fully process..."
• Gareth Reynolds [56:14]: "So, Jim, I'm about to confess something that happened when we were kids."

Timestamps Reference:

• Introduction: [00:00] – [03:48]
• Holiday Inn Express Segment: [03:48] – [23:14]
• Guess That Sound: [25:10] – [33:55]
• Personality Test: [34:22] – [45:47]
• Personal Confession: [55:33] – [64:28]

This structured summary provides a comprehensive overview of the episode, ensuring that readers who haven't listened can grasp the key moments, humor, and emotional beats delivered by Gareth Reynolds and his team.

Transcript

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello, doll heads and Dollop listeners. This is Gareth. Listen. I have a new podcast called Next we have that you can listen to or watch on YouTube. It's called Next we have because it's full of segments. It's quick segments. We're leaning into the short attention span, and that's what you're about to hear. You're going to hear a lot of people you've maybe heard about on our shows or other things, but if you could give it a listen, I would appreciate it. And. And, you know, like it. Subscribe it. All that. All that stuff. It's very different from the dollop, so keep listening to the dollop, obviously. But this is Next we have a short attention span romp with just myself, Gareth, not Gary. Enjoy. So many segments. Thank the Lord above.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Thank the Lord above.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bless the gna. The next one we have Arnold Schwarzenegger, Family tree, one star Sex toy reviewee. Feedback salesman. Subway letters. Gareth trains to fight a live gorilla. Yeah, don't drop the omelette. What's that smell? Car stuck in a field Or Andrew Garfield laughed up Confessions. Fight your own dad. There's so many segments next week. All right, and welcome to Next we have. This is the first episode. I have a couple podcasts. My first one was the Dollop. My OG I have. We're here to help a call and advice show. And then I think the thinking behind what this is is just purely a show that tries to make people laugh. And we have a lot of segments. We plan on really trying to keep your attention. I should point out. My name is Gareth Reynolds. Kevin Bartelt is the producer. Uh, Alex Burns is the other producer. So this is the first episode. This is the worst part of the show by far, because probably by now you're listening to this and you're like, why is this guy talking about how great the show will be? Just get to the show. But I've kind of doubled down now a little bit by making it longer, and I kind of want to earn back what I may have squandered, which is just kind of. I'm bragging about how great this show will be and how you're never going to get bored. And I'm the guy saying this, and I'm a little yawny. So ignore this part. That's all going to be better than this part. I'm telling you. If you've recorded a ton of stuff, why this is the first thing, I don't know. We need to have an intro to it, and it should be shortened, but here I am kind of making it longer by apologizing. And the smart thing to do would be to get to a segment which we're going to do right now. So we brought in a guest, Lisa Gilroy, who is awesome. I'm happy to have known her before she becomes super famous, because that's gonna happen. But basically, we had this idea to, like, you know, I've been wronged by so many companies, and I write reviews and I call them, and it never does anything. So the idea here was, if someone has been wronged by a company, we will help you write a scathing review, something that'll get on their radar, something that'll get you attention. So Lisa and I sit down to help a desperate caller in need of a revenge review. And I'll be honest. I don't know if it helped. It feels like it was a little chaotic, but it was a hell of a blast to go. So here you go.

[Hannah]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi there. I'm not going to lie. When you were muted, we heard you laughing, and then Lisa pointed out that you were coughing and that I just always think women are laughing at my jokes. So we've never done this segment before, to be totally honest with you. You're on with Lisa Gilroy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who's fantastic. And what we're going to do is we're going to help write a scathing review for a company or a business that has wronged you.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. What is your name? Can I ask you that?

[Hannah]

My name is Hannah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Hannah Montana.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where are you from, Hannah? Where are you living?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Montana.

[Hannah]

I'm from. But I'm calling you from Spain.

[Lisa Gilroy]

From space.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How does it sound out there? NASA has left me, and I want to write a review.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Calling from Spain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that's awesome. Okay, so you're in Spain and did the business. I don't know if we're allowed to comment on a Spanish business. Is this an American business that wronged you?

[Hannah]

Oh, yes, this is an American business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, well, why don't you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wait, why would you not be allowed to comment on a Spanish business?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maritime loss. If I can't get into it? It's international. We're not allowed to. Plus, my Spanish is no bueno. Okay, Hannah, so what. What. What happened? Who wronged you and what happened?

[Hannah]

Okay, so major hotel chain. I don't know if I can say their name. They wronged me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who are they Will bleep it out.

[Hannah]

Holiday Inn Express.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holiday.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Have to be able to talk about it, because the express of it. All right. You get to, like, Whiz in and whiz out as fast as you can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was at a Holiday Inn Express, and someone, when I was in my room about to take a shower, opened my door with a key that they were given.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, my God. That's happened to me before. But I was sleeping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just crazy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

But I always put that right on the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I didn't. I was very much. I was like, what's going on? And then a guy was like, sorry. And he had a saxophone.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, he. He had a saxophone. And I was just like, what the fuck is about to happen? All right, anyway, Hannah, you're in space. So. Okay, so what happened?

[Hannah]

Okay, so last summer, I was moving to Washington to work at a summer camp. My dad decided to. To come with me and drive from California up to Washington. We stopped to stay in Oregon to kind of break up the drive. The hotel we stayed at first night was fine. In the morning is where we ran into the issue. He woke up before me. He went down to the lobby to get that continental breakfast. I went down after him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As dad law is.

[Hannah]

I went after him. I got in the elevator. You know, I pushed the button for the first floor. I'm looking on my phone. A minute passes, and I'm like, oh, weird. The elevator hasn't gone anywhere, even though I pressed the button for the first floor and I'm on the third. And so I press.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Did you press it for the first, or did you press it for the lobby? Hannah, I just have to ask a clarifying question, because if your complaint about the Holiday Inn is that the first floor took you to. Okay, okay. You pressed for the lobby. Got it, got it, got it.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's an important distinction. Very lawyerly. Okay.

[Hannah]

Okay. So I push the button. Nothing happens. I push it again, nothing happens. And then I'm like, okay, I can walk down the stairs. I push the button to open the doors. The doors won't open either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that how you ended up in space?

[Hannah]

My major grievance is getting stuck in the Holiday Inn express elevator.

[Lisa Gilroy]

How long were you stuck in there for?

[Hannah]

I was in there for about 25 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hear me out.

[Hannah]

That doesn't sound like that long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it does. That's crazy.

[Hannah]

You'll be in there. It feels like so long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And so did you press the emergency alert button in there that I've always wanted to press?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, I actually.

[Hannah]

Because my dad was on the lobby, and I didn't want to call the fire department right away because I was a little embarrassed, like, what? Was this somehow my fault? I called my dad first, and he started, like, doing operations from the ground floor with the manager to try to get.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, operations with the manager.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you have a video?

[Kevin Bartelt]

She sent pics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, a picture.

[Kevin Bartelt]

We're looking at the pics.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hannah, you look upset.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Hannah, in the picture, you were upset, and then you're happy when I was very scared.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you got an out of. You got an out of. Wow, your dad. You guys handled this far more calmly than I would have. You're very polite to not want to call the fire department. I would lose my shit. I would piss in there very quickly. They'd be like, you're in your eight minutes. And I'd be like, I didn't know what to do. I drank urine.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So you're in that text. We were just shown a screen grab of a conversation with your dad. And in the text, he. He said you kept it together until the elevator doors opened. Does that mean that they open and you saw your dad and you. You dissolved into tears. How did it go?

[Hannah]

I don't even know how this resolved, but eventually, 25 minutes into the ordeal, some random person pressed the doors outside the third floor, and for some reason, even though that hadn't worked earlier, it suddenly opened and I ran out. And I wasn't crying until the doors opened, but I started sobbing when the doors opened, and this, like, strange man had to watch me come out and burst into tears. I feel so sorry for. Bear witness to that moment of freedom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You should not feel bad for the experience other people are having. You are the victim.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Well, did they just load right into the elevator after you came out crying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, I'm trapped. Oh, my God. This thing's not moving.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's why she was crying.

[Hannah]

I told him I would not get in there if I were you. I was just stuck in there for 25 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So did you tell the Holiday Inn what happened?

[Hannah]

Yeah, they were aware. My dad, very quick, quickly went and got somebody who was working downstairs, and they were trying to get me out, but everything they were trying was not working. And we were probably two minutes away from calling the fire department before it finally just. Just opened. But they. They knew that I got stuck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did they offer you? Like, because when the thing happened to me where someone entered my room. Yeah, I went down there, and I was pissed. And they literally were like, you can have a free fountain drink. And I was like. And then I called Holiday Inn, and I was like, what the fuck? And they. They stood their ground.

[Lisa Gilroy]

They did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was It.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's kind of crazy, because their only job is to give one key to each person's room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They admitted that it was. They admitted that they had messed up, but that's why they were like, do you want a Dr. Pepper?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm such a pushover that when it happened to me and some. And a man tried to come into my room with a key that he was rightfully given at night when I was sleeping in the bed, I didn't even bring it up to the front desk. I was like, actually, probably my fucking badge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you both are like, we fucked up. Yeah. I was scared.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's girlhood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And that's girlhood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's why you are coughing so much at my jokes.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so what did they tell you? What did they, like, what was the resolution at the end of all of this, Hannah?

[Hannah]

My major complaint is that they said they would comp the room, and they never did.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So was it one of those annoying things where you're, like, checking your credit card statement for years to come, wondering one day, when is this going to show? And then it's like, more headache than it's worth, and then you're calling and you're waiting on hold, and you just never get refunded?

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how they play it. That's how the holiday enrolls.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. I think that's good enough. I mean, we can definitely write a review for this pretty easily. Do you want me to start, Lisa? Do you want to stay? I mean, sure.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Why don't you. Why don't you do it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's start. Okay. I think I'm gonna go snarky.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, loving that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think I'm gonna start snarky.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Sup Fuckos?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great start.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Well, is that gonna snarky? Well, you say what you were thinking, and then I'll say what I thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not gonna be able to edit Sup Fuckos? So let's keep Sup Fuckos.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about the term Holiday Inn? And let's put hollow. Let's put in in quotes is very appropriate for this establishment.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Oh, no. Spellcheck. This can be brutal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a great element to this because I went quotes in their elevator and was never allowed to go out.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Out in quotation marks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out of quotation marks. That's why it's not called the holiday. In and out. You jump in when you're ready.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, this is interesting, because now you're explaining to the general public about the Hotel, whereas I thought we were writing a letter to the hotel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, this is a. This is gonna be like on a Yelp.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So Fuckos is for the other users of Yelp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just think it's like, a cool way to just, like, talk to other people on Yelp.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I'm not gonna lie. It's not right. But I can't remove it. You know what I mean?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, totally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. O. Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's why it's not called the Holiday. In and Out. I love that. Okay, okay. Even in and Out Burger allows more access in and out of different venues and areas. That's just something I kind of wanted to shout out because I think it makes brands mad when you call out another brand. Yeah, I'm advertising now for In N Out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Even In N Out burger allows. Sorry.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Allows for different burgers and people to enter and exit different rooms and restaurants.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I just feel like I want to keep it concise. I want to keep it to the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Point I like it. Yeah. Well, listen, we've already hooked them because it starts with Sup, fuckos? So we could really do whatever we want and keep them in. I was trapped in the elevator in this shithole for 25 minutes. And to say that nobody who worked there cared is an understatement.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Love that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As a matter of fact, the only person who seemed like they wanted me out of this elevator hell. And then in parentheses, Hellevator.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, love.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was my father, who looks like one of the Pawn Star guys.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Hey, I wish the handlebar that was on my father's face could have been applied as an emergency handlebar to the elevator door.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then in quotes, alas, wizardry's fake. And Hannah, we're really. Again, we've started with Sup, fuckos? And I just want you to know that this is going to end with later fuckos.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Okay, great.

[Hannah]

Perfect. Perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, we've done pretty good. Kevin, Kevin, will you just let me. Let me. Let's go from the top and just read it real quick and we'll see what we got. Okay. Sup, fuckos? The term Holiday Inn is very appropriate for this establishment because I went in their elevator. Good. Theirs, by the way. Kevin.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And was never allowed to go out. That's why it's not called the Holiday in and Out. Even In N Out Burger allows for different burgers and people to enter and exit different rooms and restaurants. I was trapped in the elevator in this shithole for 25 minutes. As a matter of fact, the only person who seemed like, they wanted me out of this elevator. Hell. Hellevator was my father, who looked like one of the Pawn Star stars. Okay, sure.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Pawn Star stars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wish the handlebar was on my. I wish the handlebar that was on my father's face was the handlebar to the. To the dar. The handle part of the door. Alas, wizard wizardry is fake. Okay, let's bring her in for a landing. Okay, I have.

[Hannah]

I have one additional grievance if. If it works. It works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no problem.

[Hannah]

I. I don't think you've probably ever gone to a continental breakfast after being stuck in the elevator for 25 minutes and coming out sobbing. But, like, trying to get your Fruit loops after that public spectacle when everyone knows you were the girl that was just stuck in the elevator. That was horrible.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, so next paragraph. Which brings me to the continental breakfast from hell, in brackets. Continental breakfast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Perfect. Love it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Just like trying to, you know, create.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A pattern theme, and I love it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Continental spell checks are going to take its own life.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Wait, continental breakfast or just continental.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Continental breakfast.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And. And you know what? If you want Kev, you can change. Change. You can change fast into fire. So it's continental Breckfire.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Oh, great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just, like, I love it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We're kind of, like, having fun with the format.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What's up, fuckos?

[Alex Burns]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

After being trapped in the up down coffin, I was expected to eat my stale Froot Loops like some sort of. And let's just quote it, because I'm loving the quotes, Normie. At the end of the day, this hotel cared so little about getting me out that my escape was hatched by a fellow guest opening the elevator on my floor. And then parentheses, I'm one hundo that he thought I farted. Yo. That he thought I farted. You got to get the.

[Lisa Gilroy]

He just wrote, I'm 100 that I farted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. I mean, we're pretty much there. Lisa, do you want any capper.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Can you add before I'm one hundo. Say. Say when. I warned him not to enter just so that we have context for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's important. I would say that this is a crazy review, but then sometimes you read reviews and you're like, is this person okay?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's happening right now?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Exactly. So what time in the morning was this? And did you. Oh, Ian, you wanted to get on the road, right?

[Hannah]

Yeah, we were a little delayed. I met all of my new coworkers later that day. And having to meet all of my new coworkers with the knowledge that I had been like trapped in an elevator earlier. It was just really an odd feeling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you want to go real dramatic here and just be like, this almost ruined my new job.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And just leave it, like, just say.

[Lisa Gilroy]

This did ruin my new job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This did ruin my new job. And my co workers did not like me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Because my brains were scrambled. My central nervous system was, let's say firked. Like as like a fun way to say it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love it. Yeah. And why don't you say my brains were scrambled and then let's do a parenthesis. Ok. My brains are scrambled. Better than the continental breakfast eggs.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And then, Hannah, I'm gonna just take a liberty at the end of this review because they don't really know like who you are and you started a new job at that department. But at the end, can we just put like, by the way, I'm a surgeon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So that when people read it, they're like, oh, the central.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't we say by the way, I'm a high practicing surgeon for now.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We have to get like specific where they won't believe us. So I'm a high practicing surgeon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think anyone who got here is very skeptical of us already.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm a high practicing surgeon for what's like a specific.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The American doctor Hospital.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, like I'm seeing like a medulla oblongata or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's perfect.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Do you know that part of the brain?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's it called?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm by the way, I'm a high practicing surgeon for the medulla oblongata. Yep.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, my.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then put in parentheses, look it up, fucko.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's so misspelled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's insane.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oblongata is spelled O, B, L, O.

[Gareth Reynolds]

N, G A oblongata. Like it's like yada yada. Oblongata. That's really funny.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Jersey spelling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. By the way, I'm a high practicing surgeon for the medulla oblongata. Look it up, fuckos. All right. And then just let's sign off with do not stay here.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Or if you do, you will stay forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. And then go.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, you'll stay forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, great.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Really tickling me. Okay, great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Okay, let's. Let's just do a final read through and then Hannah, we're going to send it to you and you will post and you have to post it legally.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Okay. So first of all, I think the opening is going to get us flagged. But it's, it's not where you have to, obviously.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Well, let's just take out. Take out the C and put in two case.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Yes. Sup fuckos? Way better. Okay. Sup fuckos with double K. All right. Sup fuckos? The term Holiday Inn is very appropriate for this establishment because I went in their elevator and was never allowed to go out. Also quoted, that's why it's not called the Holiday in and Out. Even in and out burger allows for different burgers and people to enter and exit different rooms and restaurants. That part has grown on me dramatically. I was trapped in the elevator in this shithole for 25 minutes. And to say that nobody who worked there cared is an understatement. As a matter of fact, the only person who seemed like they wanted me out of this elevator hell hel was my father, who looked like one of the Pawn Star stars. I wish the handlebar that was on my father's face was the handlebar to the door. Alas, wizardry is fake. Which brings me to the continental breakfast from hell. Continental breck. Continental breck Fire. After being trapped in the up and down coffin, I was expected to eat my stale Fruit Loops like some sort of normie at the end of the D day. Let's just go Day. At the end of the day, this hotel cared so little about getting me out that my escape was hatched by a fellow guest opening the elevator on the floor when I warned him to not enter parenthesis. I'm one hundo that he thought I farted. Yo. This did ruin my new job. And my co workers did not like me because my brains were scrambled better than the Continental breakfast eggs and my central nervous system was firked. By the way, I'm a high practicing surgeon for the medulla oblongata. Look it up, fuckos. Let's double K the fuckos. Do not stay here. Or if you do, you'll stay forever. Great. Great. Hannah, how do you feel about it?

[Hannah]

I think it's perfect. I have no notes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Was this a cathartic experience for you at all, Hannah? Like genuinely?

[Hannah]

Definitely. Definitely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, that's what we're here to do.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. That's if that's all we do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get revenge. Yeah, that's great.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I'll email this to you, Hannah, and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then, Hannah, will you take a screenshot of you posting this on the Holiday Inn review site that you go to?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And by the way, obviously one star.

[Hannah]

Oh, for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay, good. All right, Hannah. Well, thank you for taking the maiden voyage. We're sorry that happened to you and Remember, they did this to you. This is not your fault.

[Hannah]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry. You're coughing so much. That was a cough, right? Yeah. Okay. All right, Hannah, thank you.

[Hannah]

Okay, bye. Thank you.

[Kevin Bartelt]

The Dollop is going on tour in June 2025. We will be in Sacramento on June 3rd. We'll be in Boise, Idaho on June 4th, Spokane on June 5th, Seattle on June 6th, Portland on June 7th, Bend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oregon on June 8th, and San Francisco on June 10th.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Go to the dollop podcast.com to get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All our tour links for tickets. Okay, so now this next segment is we're basically playing a game and I think going forward we'll multiple choice this, but guess that sound. ASMR is huge. Everyone loves asmr. I had someone recently comment on something about like whatever something we did on the Dollop and they were like, please stop drinking during the episode. Like drinking water. And I'm like, what the f? Like, you get thirsty, you're talking so much. Like the Dollop is an hour and a half of straight up non stop talking. And they're like, stop drinking during. I'm like, I'll die. But there are other people who are like, oh, that's awesome. I mean, there's people who like hearing people eat, but. So sound effects. Burns, you came up with a list of options and I'm trying to guess the sound effects. It's very hard to guess the sound effects, which is why we'll probably multiple choices going forward. But there's some real fascinating stuff here, so please enjoy this part of guessing the sound effects. Here you go. Okay, so we're trying to do some games. Another thing we're thinking is maybe some games, some guessing games. This is one we talked about doing and then you actually facilitated Burns. This is going to be just guessing sounds or is it going to be like animal sound? What is it?

[Alex Burns]

It's going to be a variety of different sounds. Yes, animal sounds will be amongst them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So sounds where we'll play you the.

[Alex Burns]

Audio of a video and then you'll guess what the video is based on the sound that you hear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So guessing basically what I'm hearing. Yeah. What are you hearing? Show me. Okay. All right. All right, let's start because I think this is pretty self explanatory. Horse sounds like a horse. That's it.

[Alex Burns]

That's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I don't. It sounds like a horse eating Doritos.

[Alex Burns]

You might be a little closer than you think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, what do we have?

[Alex Burns]

All right, coming in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uh huh. Oh. Oh my God. It's a cat Eating Doritos. It's a cat on a fence. Oh, my God, it's a cat. This is awesome. It's a cat on a fence eating Cheez Its maybe. And he has a Cheez Its beard. It's shocking what animals are eating and where. And where. I mean, he's sitting. He's. He's sitting on top of a fence.

[Alex Burns]

Which can't be comfortable. It's a chain link fence that has like the little pokey things at the top.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is another one of those ones where I would, I. My first instinct would not be to film, but that cat is awesome. That's. That's awesome. That's nature. Like, that's really what we're. We've done is we've kind of created our own new nature where, you know, feral animals are going to eat Cheez Its with a bag on their head.

[Alex Burns]

Do you like nature?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love nature.

[Alex Burns]

I got one for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Holy Trinity. It's great. I have a very specific guess for this one. I think it's outside of a church. And I think that's a bird hitting a woman in the head. I think a bird flew into a woman's head. Hard earth.

[Alex Burns]

You're not far.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's a. Duh. Oh, they're letting the doves out at a funeral. Oh, shit. And one of the trucks took the dove out. They. Randy Johnson, the dove.

[Alex Burns]

It's a wedding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who has. Okay. That wedding is so close to a freeway. That would be crazy to be at a. Why is a cop there?

[Alex Burns]

I mean, none of it makes any sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

None of it makes. I mean, you're so close to a freeway. That had to be very cheap.

[Alex Burns]

Terrible location.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Terrible location. And then the dove gets straight truck.

[Alex Burns]

The guy let the. Opens the basket towards the highway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like he's never opened a dove basket before. Not that I'd know what I'd do. I definitely. If I had an option of green and freeway, I'd be like, I'm going to go green.

[Alex Burns]

Yeah. But yeah, he had two choices and he went the wrong way. Let's change it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I don't. I don't know if you follow through with that ceremony if that happens. Yeah, I definitely think I look at the woman and I'm like, I should probably be an annulment. It's 50% of our doves got killed by a semi.

[Alex Burns]

It's a bad sign. It's a bad. I would be curious to know how they're doing today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And how about this Forego the dove box fee and get married 80ft further away from a freeway.

[Alex Burns]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Take that 130 doll and put it towards distance.

[Alex Burns]

That would be money well spent. All right, here's something. This is not exactly nature. Although I guess you could say it might be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that one wasn't nature. There's a bird. Yeah, but you're considering a cat on a fence eating cheese. Its nature.

[Alex Burns]

You said it was nature.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You then told me that two doves coming out of a box and getting hit by a truck was nature.

[Alex Burns]

Kind of the same kind of nature.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't believe so. Okay. They all sound like horses. I mean, I got the. It's. There's not enough. There's not enough tells that something funny is happening with a horse. And that guy's laughing very hard. Oh, God. Oh, my God. What the fuck? And now, what did you expect me. Did you expect me to say, I bet you one guy's sitting on a motorcycle and eight guys have their pants down and are slapping their bare asses?

[Alex Burns]

I mean, you got closer on the bird one than I thought you would get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I sure did, but this one's great. The idea that I would be like, what is this, by the way? It's got to be in the Midwest or.

[Alex Burns]

Yeah, yeah, looks like it. Pennsylvania.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like how one of the guys decided to take his shirt off, too. They were like, we're just doing butts and Greg's getting naked. You've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Seven to eight guys just, pants down, Slapping. And I think what they're trying to do is mimic the sound of a engine. Like, not a great jungle, but I.

[Alex Burns]

Don'T think it sounds anything like an engine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, because they're starting off on the one guy making it look badass. I did not imagine that that reveal would be eight guys just slapping their asses.

[Alex Burns]

So you don't love that one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's hard to guess. I mean.

[Alex Burns]

Yeah. Were these supposed to be easy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it'd be nice if I would be like. In my head, I was going to go, like, cockatoo.

[Alex Burns]

All right, here's one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, come on, let's. Not that, Stu. Come on. That nature, uh. Oh, my God. Well, I don't want to. Let me play that again because I don't. You want me to go in the direction that I'm not gonna go in. It's definitely air escaping something or.

[Alex Burns]

You know, I gotta be honest, I don't know what this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? The reveal can't be you don't even know.

[Alex Burns]

It doesn't say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean it, does it? What is it? Oh, my God. It's just a valve of hot, clear petroleum jelly. Like, maybe that's how they make Vaseline jelly. Valve hot.

[Alex Burns]

Vaseline.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The way. There's got to be a better way to make this stuff.

[Alex Burns]

I mean, couldn't tell you, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My God.

[Alex Burns]

But good for you for not taking the bait.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not again. Please stop it.

[Alex Burns]

It stopped it. I stopped it. You want one more?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, let's go one more. Make it a banger. Is there anyone where you're like, I might be able to guess this? The answer is no. I can tell already.

[Alex Burns]

The answer is. Well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, give. Let's go with a. Let's go with a winner. Do whatever. This. Pink Floyd. What? What?

[Alex Burns]

Here you go. Take two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, sounds like a digital dove. Is this what happened when the dove got hit by the truck in its head? Is this the sound of a dove dying, leaving the Matrix? Do it again. I'm not gonna guess it's some sort of AV issue. I'm gonna guess it's a couple of old people trying. Like, there's a couple old people trying to do something, maybe on their computer or something. It's old people trying to do something technical and a crazy thing happening. And the footage will be pretty funny of what it's doing.

[Alex Burns]

You're way off the bark.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I thought I was getting close. Oh, my God. What the fuck? It's a sea lion.

[Alex Burns]

It is a orbital seal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Orbital sea. That's the sound.

[Alex Burns]

It's a seal noise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, that's awesome. See, that's what I. Oh, man, that is beautiful.

[Alex Burns]

Is that better? You like that one better?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. This is comforting to me, watching it. That seal is so happy. Do you know what it's doing?

[Alex Burns]

I think he's just having a nice time. I think he's really happy out there on the ice. I think that's a happy sound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is very. That. See, that's the night. That's a nice ending.

[Alex Burns]

Yeah, I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's that one? All right, we're good. We're all set. So that's. That's how his seal feels after that.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Burns and I were talking. We thought it would be smart to. As we kind of figure out the bones and the structure of this show and, you know, your impact on the globe. Figuring out, like, who you are, especially early on, will be huge for the show. You as well, too. But, like, more importantly for the show, we think it would be Nice to have, like, a strong brand. We're big brand guys here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Kevin Bartelt]

And so we found a few, like, personality tests that we thought would be really helpful for you to take, and then we could kind of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't think that by just doing the show and just sort of giving my take and my personality on that over a little bit of time, that my personality will actually become.

[Kevin Bartelt]

In the old podcast world. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But today, you know, podcast.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yeah. We have to. We have to establish, like, a strong Persona early, and then we can evolve or devolve more interestingly from there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I don't get it, but. Okay, so what is this? This is going to be.

[Kevin Bartelt]

So we're going to have you take this personality test.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the options are strongly agree, somewhat agree, neutral, somewhat disagree, or strongly agree.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there's five.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's the strong agree. There's the kind of agree. There's the neither way. There's the somewhat disagree, the strongly disagreeable.

[Kevin Bartelt]

So the first one is you are a stickler for the rules.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I would say somewhat agree to neutral, but I'll go somewhat agree because I think that it, you know.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sticking to what you say is important.

[Kevin Bartelt]

One down, 29 to go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You often think about what you should have said in a conversation long after it has taken place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Somewhat disagree. That happens every now and then. You know what I'll do is I'll. Years later, I'll still be like, why did I say that?

[Kevin Bartelt]

You'd rather read a book than watch a movie?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, this is. Fuck. This is like gaslighting.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yeah, that's a big lie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, the end. Yeah.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Strongly disagree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Obviously your room. I mean, that's been my. That's been my mo. My whole life. I was like. I remember so many times in grade school where the teacher would be like, no. And in my head, I'd be like, they changed that for the movie. Like, figuring that out in time. I remember when I watched a Lord of the Flies movie and the pilot lived for, like, the first quarter of it. And then in, like, the book, like, the pilot's dead immediately. And in the movie, the guy was like, the pilot should live for the first half.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You're talking about, like, the credits and the movie or music.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was like, look. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Your question. 4. Your room is typically messy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uh, I'm gonna go neutral because it. With the amount of travel I do it, it falls apart. But if I'm home, I'm pretty clean, so I'll throw neutral there.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Interesting. At this very moment, you feel a little lonely. I mean, you're with your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At this very moment. No, I'm in the middle of taking a personality test, so I. You're with your two best friends. You know my best friends? Yeah, but. Okay, number five, Are you clicking these? You are okay.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I hope so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hope so, too.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You identify as an introvert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I was called by.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I love this question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was called by my shaman an introverted extrovert, meaning that what I do is very extroverted, but in reality, I'm pretty introverted. So, again, I mean, it's hard because I almost think I have to do neutral because I am very extroverted as far as, like, performing. But then I agree with that. Like, I was. I'm, like, reclusive. If I can be like. If I could be like, people would be like, didn't he die? And I'd be like, no, he just got a cow. So why don't we just say neutral? Because it's a wash for me.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I'd say I'm a loud introvert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, Kevin, we did this whole thing.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number seven, you have high standards.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I just feel like you.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You'Re working with us. I strongly agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't just click it because I didn't say anything. I do have high standards, especially when it comes to this stupid thing.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number eight, you love drama.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Strongly disagree. Hate drama. Unless I'm watching it on.

[Kevin Bartelt]

We might need to change that. Number nine, people can easily upset you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I've been called sensitive, but same brother. I think that again, it's not about you. I, I, I. Well, like I told you today, I saw a comment on the we're here to help Instagram. Yep. And it was just some guy who said, loving the show without the Gareth calls. And it just rocked me. It shouldn't have because I've been called so many horrible things, and in this business, you just have to get used to it. But it rocked me today.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I DM that guy. I said run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what?

[Kevin Bartelt]

I DM'd him. I said run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I did write to him. Like, I'm loving the post where you don't comment. I'll say somewhat of. Somewhat agree. I think I'm pretty good about it, but.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Me too. Relatable. Yeah, but you always text back immediately.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, the people who have read on their text. Burns has.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I dabbled with that for a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's psychotic. Jake has that. It's crazy to me. Huh? You have it. No, I don't.

[Alex Burns]

That's why I put it on. On mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It says red.

[Kevin Bartelt]

No, I don't have it. Can you read it for. Can you have read receipts for only certain people? Because I don't have that with you. That's very interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have it says red. Whoa. Says, I read it.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a big deal.

[Kevin Bartelt]

And for me, it doesn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A big. A big thing that I go for. To me, that's like.

[Kevin Bartelt]

That is so embarrassing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is mortifying, to be quite honest.

[Kevin Bartelt]

So many people on red and they're seeing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really bad news.

[Kevin Bartelt]

That's shocking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going to actually change that while we're in the middle of this.

[Kevin Bartelt]

So I want to say some. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but as a guy who texts you almost every day, I would say somewhat disagree. Maybe I don't want to say immediately. You do respond pretty quickly. But also sometimes you're busy, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, sometimes I'm driving and I got it. You need a minute. Other times it's like, you know, where the fuck.

[Kevin Bartelt]

What do you think? Neutral. Don't worry about that right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm very worried about this. I've been walking around like I have a cloak of invisibility and I'm just some guy in a sheet. It's terrible news. How do you change it? Oh, crikey. Okay. You almost always takes back. No, I'm somewhat or strongly disagree. I'll say somewhat disagree. I like to take my time.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I agree. If you're going somewhere you like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, everything. No, I want someone else to do that. And I honestly don't even want to go out.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Strongly or somewhat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Strongly disagree.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Ok.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unless it's like my girlfriend, then, like, I might be like, this is the thing. But even then she'll definitely be like. That didn't come to fruition, you know, to be like, the waiter screwed us.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Okay, this one's huge. Gareth, you prefer rom coms? Action.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not even an action movie guy, but anytime a rom coms put on I. It's. It's real bad. By the way, should porn be called rom comes. Ooh, just a thought. Okay. No, strongly disagree.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Okay, we're almost halfway there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, this is a.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You make your bed every morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, No. I look like I went through heroin withdrawal in the night.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Strongly disagree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Strongly disagree. Wow. If I'm let. Yeah, no, it's crazy.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number 14. It bothers you when things don't go as planned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, see, I've already acknowledged that I'm Not a big planner, but if someone's telling me that things are planned and they're not, yeah, that bothers me. So I'll go somewhat agree.

[Kevin Bartelt]

That's interesting, because I kind of view you as, like, a go with the flow guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am, but I, like, also, like, I'll. I'm big on, like. All right, well, I think we're good here.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Structure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think we're good here. Like, I'll do that a lot. All right, I think we're good here.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Okay. Number 15, you panic easily.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I think I'm pretty calm, so I'll say somewhat disagree. I've definitely panicked a lot in my time. I got high for the first time, like, three weeks ago, and. Jesus Christ, that was three weeks ago? Yeah.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Oh, I thought you meant for the first time in your life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You make friends very easily.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You're very social.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm pretty social. I would say somewhat or strongly.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I'm going to say somewhat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, that's number 17.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You think your life is pretty boring.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Strongly or somewhat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think strongly disagree. I mean, my life is really crazy. Too much for me.

[Kevin Bartelt]

That's good for the pot. That's really good for the pot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not even sure you prefer listening.

[Kevin Bartelt]

To facts rather than feelings. That's boring.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll go neutral. I'm good with either. I think I'm pretty empathetic, but I'm also, you know, I'm pretty.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I'm a vibes guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It doesn't matter.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number 19, you're quick to judge other people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, my head. Very same bolt in my head. I mean, you know, and on the outside, I'm going, oh, well, don't even worry about that. But then I'm like, what, this lunatic?

[Kevin Bartelt]

Strong or somewhat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll go somewhat.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number 20, you believe at love in first sight. Let me try that again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You just preposition drunk. Let me.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Let me believe you believe in love at first sight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. I don't. I think. I don't think you.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Sorry, sweeties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't think you can do that. I think you could have a massive attraction right away. But I don't think you can go, I'm in love. I think love at first sight ends in divorce. How about this?

[Kevin Bartelt]

You believe in love at first touch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Touch is important. Touch can escalate.

[Kevin Bartelt]

I'm gonna say somewhat disagree. Okay, 21. You're not scared to tell someone that you disagree with them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I don't love doing that. I don't love Confrontation again. In my head, I'm going like, this person's an idiot. But out loud, I might go like, I never thought about it like that. I think I'm. I would go somewhat disagree. I think I try to. To, you know, not do that. I think you need the people who are going to go like, okay, I guess you're having a moment.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number 22, your goals in life are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Clear to end this test. I just strongly agree.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I want to dominate the world of.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Entertainment, and that's a very good quality to have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Kevin Bartelt]

23, you're confident in almost everything you do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got to go. Strongly agree. I. I think it can be crazy, but I don't know.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number 24, you're very artistic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God. I don't want to answer that one. I don't like how your mouse is hovering above. Somewhat disagree. Do you like Ouija boarding? Somewhat disagree and strongly disagree. I'll say that I go neutral because I always find it strange when people talk about the things that. Entertainment as art.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've never been comfortable with that because it's like I'm up there talking about how I shit my pants on a flight.

[Alex Burns]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then I'm like, my art speaks for itself. It's like, now you're just kind of an idiot who was hungover on a plane and thought you were going to pass gas and it got liquidy.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You're number 25. You're a very independent person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You strongly agree.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You go on the road as a comedian, you realize very quickly that you can. I. It's. It's scary how independent I am.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number 26. Getting into the Steve Berg territory. You believe in ghosts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'll say somewhat agree. Just because I'm not going to close the door on anything and they'd walk.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you what I don't believe in is the show Ghost Hunters.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Okay. You're number 27. You're almost never late for things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. That's a strong agree. I. I really hate being late.

[Kevin Bartelt]

28. You cry at least once a week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is not true. That is a strongly disagree. I. I don't. I don't want to be. I know a lot of people struggle, so I don't want to be bragging about how I don't cry weekly, but I don't.

[Kevin Bartelt]

We might need to change that later.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Sure.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number 29. Knowing that you wouldn't get caught. You'd rob a bank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even understand how there's any other option than Strongly agree.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Well, nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are we talking about? You're telling me I should feel some sort of moral. Like there should be morality involved in me going into a Chase bank and taking millions of dollars right out of Jamie Dimon's ass? If you're not going to get caught. I don't understand a follow up. What would you say you would you. If you weren't.

[Kevin Bartelt]

If I. I never rob. I would never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you're not going to get caught and you're going into bank of America, I'll go as far as to say it's an injustice to not go in there and do it.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Number three, follow up. The final question is a follow up to the robbing the bank question. Finally, if you did rob that bank, you would donate most of the money to charity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, first of all, I'm going in there with that in my head. I'm going in there going, most of this goes to the kids who need it. Yep. But then I'm starting on as the drive home, I'm starting to go, yeah, I mean, you know, like boats are boat. A boat could be nice.

[Kevin Bartelt]

We're stretching most.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm like, oh, tile. A new tile job would be. Not like I'm doing that. I would. I'm going to go with a. Somewhat agree because I definitely. That would be my way to find the moral forgiveness around that. Wow.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Congratulations. You are Mulan and Ursula.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is this?

[Kevin Bartelt]

You're an equal combination of Mulan from Mulan and Ursula from the Little Mermaid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What quiz is this?

[Kevin Bartelt]

You're underestimated, a little misunderstood and incredibly determined. You may be a little clumsy and awkward, but that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm Ursulan.

[Kevin Bartelt]

You're Ursulan. So that's actually great for the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't understand.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Look at the two face. They got split right down the middle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is happening? I feel so misled.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Oh, wait, sorry, I should have clarified this was a quiz for what Disney villain or princess you are. But I think that's actually better than a personality.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the dumbest ending to anything that's ever happened and I'm remembering everything. You're hey, Dollop fans. I know you love the Dollop. You love listening to the Dollop. Do you want to watch the Dollop youp're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five parter animation, which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode, I can't remember, of the rube. You can go to LakeSide Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the rube. It, it really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the rube. Well, Kevin, you know, one of the things that we've talked about doing on here and that I think could be good is, you know, having people lay bare confessions to things that have maybe been eating away at them for a while. You know, I think that a lot of times if you want to tell someone something and it will, it'll just eat you alive and then you tell the person and the person is like, I don't to want, I don't care, I don't remember, whatever. So I have one of those that I wanted to, to do today and it's something that, I don't know why I remember it just because I think it's kind of funny, but I also think it's crazy and I also think, I look back and I go, how did I have that instinct to kind of lie at like 11 years old? Like so, so, so this is the story and then we're gonna, then we're actually, I'm gonna reveal this to the, the other person implicated in this story, whose name is Jim. So I, I went to school with the person we're gonna bring on from like kindergarten to. I don't remember what age but you know, you know how it was when you were like a kid and the sleepover was it if you, it was like the, you know, the core friends, the sleepover, the peak, the P is the top 15 before the MySpace 8 before you felt the love online. It was old fashioned. Were you in or were you. It really was the groomsman and bridal party of childhood. You know, were you a cusper and sometimes. Did you ever have this where they would do the big party and then you'd cull the herd down to the elite eight and you'd either get in or you'd be cut and you'd be like, I can't believe I didn't make it. So okay, so this, this, you know, it was very normal for the sleep, the slumber party, the birthday slumber party and I got invited to a kid's slumber party and I'LL never forget it. I'm aging myself. But the guy. The guy whose birthday party it was, his name was. His name was Alex. And that night we went and saw Back to the Future 3. It had just come out. So this is. This is the 40s. Back to the Future 3 had just come out, and we just went and saw it. You saw Michael J. Fox's ass. Michael J. Fox was my hero as a kid. I wanted to be Michael J. Fox. Things were good. And Alex, for his birthday, he had the idea that we would. We would do like a tent slumber party. So it'd be three kids to a tent in a yard. In his yard. So probably. Probably seven tenths, you know, six, seven, ten, two to three kids in a tent. And so. So I'm in a tent with. I don't remember the third person, but I'm next to a guy named Jim. And I'm in the tent, and we go to bed in the tent in the yard. And if I say tent, I think the word tent has lost all meaning at this point. I can't believe I'm gonna have to say it again. But. But I'm sitting there sleeping. I was laying down. I'll be honest, I wasn't sitting there. And I wake up three in the morning, and you know when you just know you're gonna barf. And I woke up at three in the morning, and I was like, I am gonna heave. And I had no time to figure out what to do. I mean, again, I'm 11 years old or something, and Jim is fast asleep next to me, and I'm in a tent. So I make a quick decision to avoid my sleeping bag and. And, you know, yarf all over my stuff. And I just spout all of it on Jim, the kid who's my age, next to me, all over his sleep. I mean. And one of the ones where I. I don't know why kid puke was always pink. Pink shot it projectiled. It all fucking pinked Jim's sleeping bag. Just. And. And you know, there was residual. There was shrapnel. Some hit the side of the tent. Whoever the third kid was, he got tagged a little bit too. Some was on mine, but I just emptied myself. And. And then there's a beat where I'm like, oh, my guys. It's just like, you know, just like dripping in the cave. And I start to see Jim Rouse wake up, and I just. It's. It really is not good that my instinct was this at this young. But I just go Lay down and pretend you're sleeping. And so I lay down and pretend that I'm sleeping. And then listen to Jim wake up. And Jim go. I just hear Jim like, oh, oh, no. You know, oh, no. And then, like, the third kid is like, what? Oh, Jim? And I kind of. I'm like, oh, oh, what is that? Puke. Like, I kind of, like, sell. You know, I do the cell. I'm like, oh, man. It's mostly on Jim's. He must have puked. And he's like, yeah, I threw up everywhere. He's just such a nice guy, right? I threw up everywhere. And I let him believe it. And then word spreads. The parents come out like, they're the medics. They. They exhume us out of the tent. They see what's happened. Jim, considered terribly ill, is taken to the house for a showering, you know, and. And I do think he was kind of like, I feel okay. You know, Meanwhile, I'm dying. Like, I'm pale as I'm like. And. And so they take him into the house. And then I. I don't know what we did. We probably went into the house, too, but I felt horrible. And then. But Jim's getting the VIP treatment, you know, showered, all that stuff. So. So my confession is I want to tell this guy Jim, I. We. We. Burns found him. And I've just have thought about this for a long time, and I thought if we could find him, I may as well tell him what happened. I doubt he even remembers it. So I think it's just worth me revealing to Jim what I did and see what he thinks. And I'm hoping he's going to just be like, I don't care. But who knows? So we should probably. We have him. So why don't we bring him in?

[Kevin Bartelt]

All right. He's in the waiting room now. Gonna have him join.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jim.

[Jim]

Hey, how's it going?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you there?

[Jim]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you?

[Jim]

Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You look the same.

[Jim]

I haven't aged.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You look the exact same. What a great head of hair. Good for you. Well, Jim, we're already kind of into this because I've already told them this story. I know you have. You have nerves about this because you do know it's a confession. I'm about to assuage all your fears because you'll see that this is not the biggest deal. But it is. It is interesting. First of all, thank you for doing this.

[Hannah]

Of course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm glad we can finally reconnect. Yeah. And I'm assuming our friendship will hold through what I'm about to tell you. Are you ready? How are you feeling?

[Jim]

Good, good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nervous.

[Jim]

Not too nervous, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. All right. Well, let's get into it. So, Jim, this takes place at a slumber party. I'm gonna estimate that we're probably about 11 years old now. I'll say whose party it was, but maybe we'll bleep that out. This is. This is slumber party.

[Jim]

Okay. Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now let me just start there. Do you have any recollection of this event? And, and if memory serves, you were popular. You probably did a lot of slumber parties.

[Jim]

Did he pee in his bed?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe. Well, that could be a side story.

[Jim]

Okay. No, no, I. I don't. I. Okay, I don't remember really. The slumber party or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's. Here's the event. The slumber party. We all go to see Back to the Future three. That's the start. So we all go see Back to the future 3. Obviously, we didn't really have good discernment as far as what was the best and worst Back to the Future in retrospect. Now, we know the weakest of the three, without a question. But we loved it. Now, we must have eaten something at the movie theater or at Alex's house, but that's going to come back into a play in a second. Now what happened was they had the idea, Alex's family had the idea that we were going to do the slumber party in the yard. And even thinking about this now, this is pretty genius from parents. It was going to be tents in the yard, so we were going to do like a faux camping out in. In Alex's yard. And you and I ended up in a. In a three person tent. I don't know who the third person is, but they're pretty irrelevant. But you're key to this. Okay, now, so we're in sleeping bags, three to attend. Okay. And you're in the middle. It's me. You. Our forgettable third friend in this scenario. Yeah, everything's fine. It's a fine event. Everybody's happy. We go to bed, Everything's normal. But Jim. And around 3am, I wake up and my stomach is off. Something's rotten. Now again, I'm 11. You're a. You're a parent, correct? Yeah. So, you know, the fuse is different when you get older. You have a little better. Better lead time. You're more familiar with your puke body. I'm. I just. I'm trapped in a tent and there's very little time. And my little 11 year old brain decides, I'm not going to throw up all over my sleeping bag. I'm going to do it all over you. Who's next to me. And so I just. Fucking fire hydrant all over your sleeping bag. Now, this is what I was just saying to them before this. Some of it, you know, probably hit the third kid, and I probably had some too, But I mean, 90% was rocketed at you on your sleeping bag. And then it's out. I mean, it's out very quickly. And then you, who just got, you know, eight pounds of childhood, partially digested pink slime on you. Yeah, you start to wake up. Now this is where you learn that I have the mind of a psychopath because I, in a quick decision, go, pretend you're asleep. And so I lay down and I, you know, I mean, I just threw up. So. And I just close my little eyes. And then you, as you wake up, you just go, oh, no. And then the third kid wakes up and he goes, oh, my God, Jim, you threw up all over the place. And you go, oh, I think I did. And I go, oh, Jim, that's. That's horrible. That's disgusting. And then, and then whatever we do, we, we, we get the parents out there, they take us all out, like we're the infirm tent. Yeah, they probably hose the tent down. You get taken to the main room, you're bathed, you're cared for, you're comforted. But myself, who's still very sick from some sort of bug or something, I'm like downstairs sleeping on a couch with this third kid. You're. You're cleaned up, you're all that, everything. Then we go to bed. And that is my confession. Now I will say a quick addendum, just for comedy's sake, is the next morning, they were making waffles for everybody, and we're all in the kitchen area and you're housing waffles, and everyone's going, boy, Jim is back. Like, look at Jim, he's like the comeback kid. Meanwhile, I am, like, sneaking off like a bulimic to go barf in the bathroom and I'm not eating any waffles. And they're starting to go, maybe Gareth caught what Jim had. Meanwhile, I'm patient zero, just going like, yeah, maybe I did. And then, and then I, I just thought about. I've thought about it forever, the crazy decision making. And now do you remember this at all?

[Jim]

Not really. I kind of, I kind of remember sleeping outside, but I don't remember the puking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, You. To be fair, you really shouldn't.

[Jim]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because it was. You were framed.

[Jim]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You were yard framed.

[Jim]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that is my confession. I. Now, you probably, in your head, thought this was going to be a lot bigger than it was, but I did throw up all over you, and I'm. I had you on today because I wanted to ask for your forgiveness. Oh, yeah. If you will bestow it upon me, I. And I'll make you a goddamn promise. If you and I are ever in the same space sleeping and I throw up on you, I'm gonna tell you what I've done. And I expect the same courtesy from you. But if I didn't get it, it would be karmically fair.

[Jim]

Absolutely. I. I think that I probably was so happy to be with a good group of guys that, like. So you thought stuff was probably just like, oh, gross. All right, well, what are we doing next? I hope this doesn't impact anything in my life other than I hope I still get those waffles or I hope I like. It was probably like, you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You were housing waffles. I do remember. Everyone was like, wow, Jim's back.

[Jim]

I have a low tolerance for. For like getting grossed out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You do? Well, that's. Then I saved you. So, I mean, it's a much different experience if you were to see that I was the one who puked. I mean, it is. It is a terrible thing that I did, but my only defense is that I was 11, and I guess I am a little bit of like, you know, I'm a scoundrel, but. But that's it. That's it. I just wanted to. I unburdened myself once again upon you.

[Jim]

I'm glad you were able to unload that and fully process that issue that's been haunting you. I certainly never thought anything but good things about Gareth and his shining personality all the time. Never would have. Would have associated you with any deceit or whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, look, I mean, you know, we saw Back to the Future 3 that night, and this is kind of a letdown time travel adventure of our own, so that seems fairly fitting. Well, that's it, Jim. Well, let's text. Keep in touch. And thank you again for being on the show and allowing me to confess this to you.

[Jim]

It's my pleasure. Thanks so much. I hope you can use this and enjoy it, and I'm available anytime. Thank you so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'll think if there's anything else I've done to you wrong, but hopefully that's it. All right, Jim. Thank you, bud.

[Jim]

All right, Appreciate it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, thanks again. Bye. Bye. Next we have is hosted by Gareth Reynolds. The show's producer are Kevin Bartelt and Alex Burns. And the podcast is engineered and edited by Kevin Bartelt. The Associate producer is AJ McKeon and our video editor is John De Bruin. Our social media editor is Caitlin Tanwakio. And the theme song was made by Tom Carty. If you like the show, please make sure to Give it a 5 stars on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And you can see when I'm performing my standup in your area by going to garethreynolds.com.