LOVE BITE: Sarah and Lane

Summary

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The Good Sex Project – Love Bite: Sarah and Lane

Host: Melody Thomas (PopSock Media)
Guests: Sarah & Lane
Release Date: May 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

This "Love Bite" mini-episode kicks off a new series of intimate, standalone stories from The Good Sex Project. Host Melody Thomas introduces us to Sarah and Lane, a couple in their early 40s from New Zealand’s Bay of Plenty, who share with remarkable candor how they navigated the challenge of keeping their connection—and sex life—alive after 20 years together and three children.
Their journey covers how they moved from sexual disconnect and frustration to experiencing the best intimacy of their lives, primarily by questioning expectations, embracing vulnerability, and learning new ways to connect emotionally and physically.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Meeting & Early Relationship Dynamics

• Meet Cute: Sarah and Lane reminisce about meeting in a club in their early 20s—a playful, spontaneous interaction set the tone for their chemistry and differing energies (04:40).
  • Sarah: “I was in the club and I looked across the room and I saw someone with a hoodie on ... I bounced up to this person and put his hood over his head and then bounced off.”
• First Spark & Early Challenges:
  • Sarah was energetic and intense, used to long-term relationships, while Lane valued personal space and took things slower (05:56).
  • Lane: “Look, I’m really into you, but I’m gonna run for the hills if this continues the intensity.”

2. Family Life and Falling Into a Rut

• After having three children and starting businesses together, their once-exuberant sex life faded into the background amid “the mother load,” breastfeeding, and exhaustion (07:21).

  • Sarah: “I just never thought about [sex], like ever. And so I was never instigating sex. I just didn’t have capacity for it.” ([07:21])

• Lane noticed the change, felt the loss, but instead of blaming, he started researching ways to foster desire in long-term relationships (08:05):

  • Lane: “I’m committed to this one. I want to feel alive in it.”

3. Research, Self-Discovery, and Responsive Desire

• Lane’s Exploration:

  • Delved into books like The Way of the Superior Man and The Multi-Orgasmic Man to learn about energy, libido, and non-ejaculatory orgasms (08:13).
  • Lane: “They taught me a lot about circulating energy … it was a good way to actually control a little bit of my libido ... and actually use it as an energy source.”

• Sarah’s Deep Dive:

  • Sought stories and resources, discovering how common these struggles are, and learned about the concept of “responsive desire” from Emily Nagoski’s Come as You Are (10:52).
  • Sarah: “I was expecting to just feel it, because that’s how it used to be, or that’s how it is on the movies ... but it doesn’t work like that anymore.”

• Responsive (vs. Spontaneous) Desire:

  • Many people (especially mothers) don’t naturally experience “rip your clothes off” desire but instead need to enter intimate situations for desire to develop (10:52).

4. Anxiety, Pressure, and Communication

• Sarah opens up about the anxiety of perceiving Lane’s sexual interest as pressure (11:54):
  • Sarah: “You can feel kind of a man’s horniness, and it can be almost like a pressure. ... If meant to get from where I am here as a tired mum to being super keen to have sex, that literally feels like the Grand Canyon.”

5. Bridge-Building: Naked Nights & Rituals for Connection

• Turning Point:
  • After some yoga together one night, Sarah felt in her body and open to connecting (13:44).
    • Sarah: “I just felt so in my body and I looked at Lane and I thought, huh, I could actually entertain the idea of connecting tonight.”
• Commitment to Regular, Intentional Connection:
  • Instituted “naked nights”—weekly, tech-and-kid-free evenings for connection, emphasizing presence over performance (14:16).
  • Sarah: “It can literally be just heart to heart hugs and that’s it. If that’s all you’ve got capacity for. ... the idea is to just be together. ... it could be actually really clunky and awkward at first.”
• Mother-to-Lover Transition:

  • Sarah highlights the importance of a transition period (e.g., a shower, stretching, yoga) to shift from busy carer to relaxed partner (14:23-15:15).

  • Lane admits that, for him, sex helps relieve stress, but he and Sarah must “meet in the middle.”

    • Lane: “If I’m stressed, I’m often quite keen to have sex because I know that it will take me out of my head.”

6. Rewriting What Sex “Should” Look Like

• They replaced the “script” of penetrative, goal-oriented sex with a playful, open-ended approach (16:12):

  • Sarah: “Let’s just make each other feel good, can stop at any time, keep the comms going and no expectations that this even needs to end in sex.”
  • Lane: “The open communication allowed for a lot more freedom and play.”

• Non-ejaculatory orgasms—something Lane learned about and practiced—were a game changer (16:32-16:36):

  • Sarah: “I feel like if every man could do that work, their sex lives would just be dramatically improved.”

7. Benefits Flowing Into Life

• Open communication, slowing down, reflection, and experimentation led to the “revival” of their connection (18:00):

  • Sarah: “I remember actually feeling spontaneous desire ... I almost cried because it was like, oh, we’re back together, body.”
  • Lane: “Post kids can be a good time.”

• Now, after 20 years, they’re both “having the best sex of our lives” (18:36).

8. Spreading the Conversation—Challenging the Taboo

• Lane talks about openly discussing sex—particularly non-ejaculatory orgasms—among his mates, breaking the generational silence (19:09):

  • Lane: “I’m proud about the intergenerational shift that I’ve made ... because it’s quite a change.”

• Sarah, invigorated by their success, starts conversations with friends and even strangers, and creates an Instagram page for women to discuss and liberate their libidos (20:08).

  • Sarah: “We need to be having these honest conversations. That’s why I thought I’d just start an Instagram ... to try and help women get more excited about their sex lives.”

• Listener tip: Sarah’s Instagram is “Libido Liberation.”

9. Final Insights on Epic Sex

• Melody notes that great sex isn’t central for every couple, but for those who value it, open conversations and vulnerability can be transformative (21:21).
• Sarah: “As we’ve gotten more and more out of our comfort zone and tried new things in the bedroom ... the energy ... just filters out to the rest of your life, so that you’re the one doing those things that you didn’t used to do, which just adds to the invigoration.” ([21:59])
• Lane: “Life just feels more adventurous, I think.” ([22:21])
• Melody asks for their definition of “amazing” sex:
  • Sarah: “Epic sex is possible. It’s just about believing in yourself and each other and your pleasure.” ([22:48])
  • Lane: “Extraordinary sex is heartfelt. ... when you add that heartfelt element into it, it’s when it moves into a very special, sacred space.” ([23:00])

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Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Having three lovely children can change things in the sex department.” — Sarah ([04:12])
• “If Lane had come up to me and tried to sort of give me a big pass, my brain would just be like, he wants to have sex tonight ... I don’t know if I can meet your needs ... get away from me.” — Sarah ([11:54])
• “Let’s just make each other feel good, can stop at any time, keep the comms going ... no expectations that this even needs to end in sex.” — Sarah ([16:12])
• “I feel like if every man could do that work, their sex lives would just be dramatically improved.” — Sarah ([16:36])
• “Spontaneous desire ... I almost cried because it was like, oh, we’re back together, body.” — Sarah ([18:00])
• “We’re pretty blown away with where it’s gone. ... we’re now ... having the best sex of our lives.” — Sarah ([18:36])
• “Epic sex is possible. It’s just about believing in yourself and each other and your pleasure.” — Sarah ([22:48])
• “Extraordinary sex is heartfelt ... when you add that heartfelt element ... it moves into a very special sacred space.” — Lane ([23:00])

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Noteworthy Segments & Timestamps

• Introduction to Love Bites mini-episodes: [02:16]
• Sarah and Lane meet & early relationship: [04:04-07:01]
• Parental exhaustion and disconnect: [07:21]
• Lane’s research into desire & energy: [08:05]
• Sarah’s self-discovery and responsive desire: [09:39-10:52]
• Anxiety around sex, the Grand Canyon analogy: [11:54]
• Turning point—Yoga night & ‘Naked Nights’ ritual: [13:44-14:23]
• Letting go of the “sex script”: [16:12-16:36]
• Revival moment & best sex of their lives: [18:00-18:36]
• Spreading the word—Libido Liberation Instagram: [20:08]
• Definitions of epic sex: [22:48-23:00]

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Tone & Language

The episode exudes warmth, wit, and a disarmingly honest vulnerability. Sarah and Lane are frank, lighthearted, and practical, often poking fun at themselves and the conventions they’ve outgrown. Melody Thomas’s narration is empathetic, affirming, and inclusive, aiming to normalize these struggles and changes for listeners.

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Summary

Sarah and Lane’s story is a relatable, encouraging real-life example for couples navigating the turbulence of long-term relationships, particularly parents. Through curiosity, honest conversation, and open-minded experimentation, they revived their intimate connection. Their message: Epic, heartfelt sex is possible—even (or especially) after decades together, as long as both people are willing to learn, adapt, and embrace each other anew.

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Next Episode Teaser:
Stay tuned for the next Love Bite: Chris, a "sports boy with a heart of gold who’s gotten himself into a huge romantic mess."

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Transcript

[Jack Myers]

What makes a leader worth following?

[Tim Spengler]

What should you really care about in your job? As technology is changing so quickly, is

[Jack Myers]

it just gonna be about machines talking to other machines? I mean, should you quit your job and start something on your own, what would that take?

[Tim Spengler]

What does success and risk look like when we're all at the starting gate together?

[Jack Myers]

These are the questions we answer each week on Lead Human with Jack Myers and Tim Spengler.

[Tim Spengler]

Join us each week and subscribe at your favorite podcast platform and YouTube.

[Jack Myers]

We'll tell stories, we'll hear from some of the best, and we'll try to figure this out together.

[Tim Spengler]

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Melody Thomas]

I'm Lara Marie Shainhals.

[Tim Spengler]

And I'm Carrie o', Donnell, and together

[Melody Thomas]

we are the hosts of Sarah Sexy Unique Podcast, a podcast for geniuses about reality tv, pop culture, and every once in a while, a tangent about 9 11.

[Tim Spengler]

I mean, it really affected all of us.

[Melody Thomas]

On Sexy Unique Podcast, we insist on discussing the creme de la creme of reality television.

[Tim Spengler]

From the current season of Vanderpump Rules to tried and true classics like early seasons of Real Housewives of New Jersey to underrated gems like VH1's Rock of Love and even Gallery Girls, we're talking about all of it.

[Melody Thomas]

So what are you waiting for? Listen to Sexy Unique Podcast now on itunes, Spotify, and wherever podcasts matter.

[Tim Spengler]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Kyoto Koutou A short content warning before we get going. This series is about sex. You probably knew that, but just in case you got here by accident, this episode features our usual discussions of sexy stuff, pleasure, ejaculations, the lack thereof. If you are listening in public, maybe proceed with caution. This podcast was made with the support of New Zealand On Air

[Melody Thomas]

Kia Ora Koutou. Hello and welcome back to the Good Sex Project. I'm Melody Thomas, and while season three of the podcast officially launches very, very soon, we're going to kick things off a little differently this time with a few entrees to tide you over until the main course arrives. So without further ado, this drum roll courtesy of my butt. Welcome to Love Bites. Love Bites are standalone stories from the Good Sex Project, featuring one person or one couple sharing intimate experiences from their very real lives. They're short and sweet, but as always with the Good Sex Project, we still go deep. We're going to release one Love buy every week between now and the season three launch and the stories we've selected touch on everything from long term monogamy to non monogamy, queerness and kink, to illness and disability, late virginity to masculinity. If this is your first time here, welcome. There's still plenty of time after this episode to jump into seasons one and two before season three's upon us. And if you've been listening for quite a while, it's so nice to have you back. Today's episode is for the lovers. Those of you trying your best to keep your connection good even when life seems intent on eroding it.

[Sarah]

I was never instigating sex, I just didn't have capacity for it.

[Melody Thomas]

And who are open to trying something new.

[Tim Spengler]

Have you ever had an orgasm without

[Melody Thomas]

ejaculating in order to find your way back to each other?

[Sarah]

We're pretty blown away with where it's gone. Like we're having the best sex of our lives.

[Melody Thomas]

Welcome to Love Bites from the Good Sex Project. I'm Melody Thomas and it's time to get started.

[Tim Spengler]

I am Lane Bunker. I am a jack of all trades, I'd say married to this beautiful woman for 20 years.

[Sarah]

I'm Sarah. We have three lovely children. But what we found is that having three lovely children can change things in the sex department. And we've done a lot of work together and made quite the discoveries over the last five years.

[Melody Thomas]

Lane and Sarah are in their early 40s. They live in a lovely light filled house in the Bay of Plenty. And their love story starts more than two decades ago when the collagen was plumping and the dance floor was thumping.

[Sarah]

Okay, this is my story to tell. I was in the club and I looked across the room and I saw someone with a hoodie on. And I used to enjoy at parties going up to people and doing silly things. So I bounced up to this person and put his hood over his head and then bounced off.

[Melody Thomas]

Classic early 20s flirting behavior. One level up from stealing boys hats in high school.

[Sarah]

And then later I went back up to him and I just said, I've just broken up with my boyfriend, I don't want to have sex with you and I don't want another boyfriend. I just want to be your friend. Put your number in my phone.

[Tim Spengler]

Yeah, that was a Saturday. We went for a walk around the Mount on the Wednesday. We've been going around with each other ever since.

[Melody Thomas]

Lane's making it all sound like it went a bit smoother than it did because when these two met they were actually in quite different places and the transition from meet cute to couple was a bit rocky.

[Tim Spengler]

Funnily enough, I married my first ever girlfriend.

[Melody Thomas]

He means Sarah. Before her, Lane hadn't really been in a serious relationship.

[Tim Spengler]

I at that point was into music and I was quite focused on that. So I needed certain amounts of my own space.

[Sarah]

Whereas I was back to back long term relationships. So I think I came into our relationship like full steam ahead, like most things I do. But the expectations were high.

[Melody Thomas]

The way Sarah describes it, she was acting like they'd been together for years, but it had actually been weeks.

[Sarah]

Laine said to me, look, I'm really into you, but I'm gonna run for the hills if this continues the intensity. And I was like, whoop, I'm so keen on this person. It's so easy. So I was like, okay, I'll just chill, I'll just chill.

[Melody Thomas]

But it was hard to be chill when Lane was so hot.

[Sarah]

I was keen as mustard to be like, let's get it on. And Layne was like, I'm really into you, but I want to make sure I am before we have sex. So you have to wait two weeks. And I was thinking two weeks felt like two years. And then the first night that we got it on, we did it like seven times. We were like magnets. Like, I remember one night we had to sleep in separate beds because we just couldn't sleep.

[Melody Thomas]

From first getting together, Sarah and Lane followed a fairly well worn path. They travelled together overseas, came home, got a puppy. They had a few kids and started a couple of businesses. But with the increase in adult responsibilities, other things began to fall off the radar, like date nights, dancing, travel and

[Sarah]

sex, I guess breastfeeding and low energy, just the mother load. I just never thought about it like ever. And so I was never instigating sex. And I just didn't have capacity for it.

[Melody Thomas]

It's super common for parents of young children to have less sex and for breastfeeding parents especially to feel touched out and not in the mood.

[Sarah]

Lane would bring it up and we'd talk about it. And I was looking at him thinking, I love you just as much as I always have, if not more. You're really hot. So what is happening here? And I'd go off and just wouldn't think about it again.

[Melody Thomas]

But Lane was thinking about it. In fact, he was doing even better than that. He was researching.

[Tim Spengler]

I was interested in learning about fostering desire in long term relationships. I'm committed to this one. I want to feel alive in it.

[Melody Thomas]

Lane and Sarah are the kind of couple you can imagine meeting at a yoga festival, hitting it off over a cup of ceremonial cacao. So it makes sense that Lane's research led him to books that explore sex and relationships through a philosophical and spiritual framework. He was specifically drawn to 90s new age sex positive self help books. One, the Way of the Superior man by David Deida and the other, the Multi Orgasmic man by Montok Chia and Douglas Abrams. If those titles make you raise your eyebrows, that's what happened to me too. Both books have been criticised for pseudo scientific claims, gender essentialism and heteronormativity. But nonetheless, lots of people have found them really helpful, including Lane.

[Tim Spengler]

They taught me a lot about circulating energy. It was a good way for me to actually control a little bit of my libido, which generally has always been quite high, and actually use it as an energy source rather than. Yeah, rather than getting frustrated.

[Melody Thomas]

Plus, these books taught him how to do this nifty trick.

[Tim Spengler]

Have you ever had an orgasm without ejaculating? Most men haven't. Both of those books pretty much teach you. And then I guess went and did some practice and then found my own way with that one. Yeah.

[Melody Thomas]

While Lane was practising, Sarah started her own research.

[Sarah]

I basically did a deep dive into desire pleasure to discover, like, is this normal? Because while I'm a massive oversharer, it was something that I didn't talk about with my girlfriends, like, hey, are you having sex in your marriage? I started to be more interested in other people's stories, listening to podcasts, reading books, realising I'm not the only one, that this is like an epidemic of, you know, people in long term relationships not having the sex lives that they want.

[Melody Thomas]

Epidemic's a strong word, but Sarah is right that this is a really common experience with people in long term relationships. And, you know, while on the one hand there's no shortage of Esther Pareau advice, content and courses and apps aimed at addressing this very thing, it's also not talked about very much by the people who are actually experiencing it, which can leave people feeling really alone in their struggles. It doesn't help that almost every depiction of desire and lust shown in books, movies and TV is the spontaneous I just want to rip your clothes off type.

[Sarah]

And I guess I was expecting to just feel it because that's how it used to be or that's how it is on the movies or that's how you want it to be.

[Melody Thomas]

One book that really helped Sarah to shift her thinking was Emily Nagoski's Come as yous Are this is a hugely influential book on women's sexuality that explains how desire works and why the context and circumstances around sex often matter as much as the sex itself. We've actually interviewed Emily Nagoski a couple of times in past seasons, so a few want to hear this amazing information straight from the source. Go and dig those out. But in the book Come as yous Are, Nagoski explains that there's another type of desire that's just as normal, just as valid, called responsive desire. Unlike spontaneous take me right now desire, responsive desire shows up later and more slowly. It often requires dipping your toes into a sensual or sexual situation first. And then comes the heat. Sarah figured that this was probably the type of desire that was more readily accessible to her at this time in her life. But the problem was, anytime Lane tried to initiate physical intimacy, her anxiety would spike.

[Sarah]

You know, you can feel kind of a man's horniness, and it can be almost like a pressure. If Lane had come up to me and tried to sort of give me a big pass, my brain would just be like, he wants to have sex tonight. And then you get a bit like, oh, I don't know if I want to have sex. I don't know if I can meet your needs. And ah, get away from me. And he was always like, oh, I was just trying to give you a kiss. But I just read so much more into it. If I meant to get from where I am here as a tired mum to being, like, super keen to have sex, that literally feels like the Grand Canyon.

[Hayden]

Howdy, howdy, ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fan. Fellas, I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fan Girls podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.

[Jack Myers]

And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball, but you can call me the Smash Daddy.

[Hayden]

And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn. But here's the catch. Steven here has not read Mistborn before.

[Jack Myers]

That's right. Hey, hey. So each week, you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter.

[Hayden]

And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven will even try to guess what's. Spoiler alert. He'll be wrong.

[Jack Myers]

Newsflash. I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday, and you can find Fantasy fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts.

[Melody Thomas]

There's so many couples who feel like they're stuck on either side of a canyon, like Sarah and Lane, opening up these conversations, taking to books and podcasts with curiosity and a Willingness to learn. These are incredible tools. They won't close the gap immediately, but they can start to build a bridge. Which is what happened for Lane and Sarah. One night out of the blue, after they'd put the kids to bed and done a little stretching, we did the

[Sarah]

yoga side by side. And then I just felt so in my body and I looked at Lane and I thought, huh, I could actually entertain the idea of connecting tonight.

[Melody Thomas]

So they did connect, and it was pretty good. As our gal Adrienne says, showing up on the mat is the most important thing. If you know, you know from there. Lane and Sarah made a commitment to show up at least once a week. Not for an extravagant date night. Just a night at home with just the two of them.

[Tim Spengler]

No kids, no shop talk, no phone, no tv.

[Sarah]

Like it's lock on the door. We call them naked nights.

[Melody Thomas]

Oh, and no clothing. But if you want to try this, that part's optional.

[Sarah]

It can literally be just heart to heart hugs and that's it. If that's all you've got capacity for. But the idea is to just be together. And that could be actually really clunky and awkward at first because you haven't even eyeballed each other in the last week. There could be resentment there, like with the mother load and not feeling supported. But I think even just coming together in that moment, even if it's a hand massage or a foot massage, one of the things that came up for us in terms of naked night was making sure that I had like a mother to lover transition time. Because you're hard pressed to go from the chaos of the day to like, I'm so relaxed and ready for pleasure. So for us it might have been the yoga together, or it's like, I'll go and have a hot shower and just come back to myself after the busy day so that I'm ready to connect.

[Melody Thomas]

Do you need that transition period as well, or are you pretty okay to just go straight from the chaos to.

[Tim Spengler]

That's an interesting question, actually, because if I'm stressed, I'm often quite keen to have sex because I know that it will take me out of my head. Like it's something that I'll be able to drop into quite easily and then whatever I'm thinking about will actually just be gone. And so we definitely have to meet on the middle in that regard.

[Melody Thomas]

And what is sex if not meeting in the middle, literally? Here's the other major change that Sarah and Lane made that completely transformed their post kids sex life. They threw out that Old straight person sex recipe. You know, the one that dictates what sex is supposed to look like and the order that you're supposed to do things, as well as the expectation that it's all leading up to penetration.

[Sarah]

Almost like retraining the programming. Lane would say, like, there's no end goal here. Let's just make each other feel good, can stop at any time, keep the comms going and no expectations that this even needs to end in sex.

[Tim Spengler]

So the open communication allowed for a lot more freedom and play, just to know that that's all it might be.

[Melody Thomas]

Remember, Lane had also mastered the non ejaculatory orgasm by this point.

[Sarah]

So that was actually huge, you doing that work. I feel like if every man could do that work, their sex lives would just be dramatically improved. What that brings me is the reassurance that we can just let go and explore and play for as long as we like without being like, oh, oh, I'm gonna ejaculate. And then that might signal the end or the end of what we're doing. In that moment, I was like, this is amazing because then it made me feel like I've got all the time in the world, you know, we've got all the time in the world. We just flow with each other and find as much pleasure as we can.

[Tim Spengler]

We've gotten to a place where I feel totally comfortable to express my wants, needs, desires in the bedroom. And I think for men, there's actually quite a lot of shame around that because I'm quite a giver sometimes. I could ought actually even find it hard to just completely receive. I learned that it could be about me as well. And that took some practice, but practice they did.

[Melody Thomas]

And over time, as they practised and talked and took their time with each other, reflecting afterwards on what went well and what didn't, things started to move from good to really, really good.

[Sarah]

I do actually remember, I think it was about maybe a year after we started all the learning around sex and desire. And Lane was mowing the lawns with his shirt off. And I remember standing there and actually feeling like spontaneous desire, you know, between my legs. And I was like, oh, my God, it's back. And I realized, like, I hadn't had that in so long, I almost cried because it was like, oh, we're back together, body. And that's the thing. I think people think my libido's gone, you know, and they give up. If you take the baby steps and you work together, slowly but surely the revival happens.

[Tim Spengler]

Post kids can be a good Time.

[Sarah]

Yeah, well, this is it. We're pretty blown away with where it's gone. Like we're now, like we're having the best sex of our lives. You know, when we met, we would have said that. But yeah, which is pretty cool.

[Melody Thomas]

20 years together and having the best sex of your lives is pretty cool. Sarah and Lane reached out to share their story because it serves as proof that provided you're both willing to give it a go, you can find a way from disconnected to connect it, just like they have. And they're not just talking to us about that. They're spreading the message within their own circles as well.

[Tim Spengler]

I think a lot of my mates have appreciated the conversations that I've instigated in the last five years because they're not used to having them. I run a landscape construction company and within reason, I only employ my mates. And some of the conversations that have been bandied about on site, talking about non ejaculatory orgasms on the work site, Lunch break, just. Yeah, it took me a long time to get to that stage. I'm proud about the intergenerational shift that I've made from where my father and his friends would have been at my age, because it's quite a change for Sarah.

[Melody Thomas]

The conversations also began with friends, but they quickly spread beyond that as I

[Sarah]

was experiencing more pleasure. It was so liberating. I was like, ah, I've got this newfound joy within my whole body. And so I started talking to people, you know, strangers on dance floors about where they were at and people would open up to me. And I thought, this needs to be talked about more. We need to be having these honest conversations. That's why I thought I'd just start an Instagram to do exactly that, to get the conversations going, to try and help women get more excited about their sex lives.

[Melody Thomas]

If you're curious, Sarah's Instagram page is called Libido Liberation.

[Sarah]

Because I have a lot of people come up to me randomly and be like, oh, I follow you. What you've put out there has really helped us. You know, we've started the naked nights, or we have a new rule where there's no admin in bed. Keep the bed for the good stuff. So it's been fun, it's been a cool journey for me and a way to connect in with other mums on that topic.

[Tim Spengler]

And at some point when it was all up and running and she was talking to everyone, she asked me if I was okay with it.

[Sarah]

I was like, oops, hold on, this is not just my journey. I was like, oh, you married me. You know what you're in for.

[Melody Thomas]

Sexual connection isn't an important part of every relationship. For some people, the perfect amount of sex is none or just a little every now and then. But for those who do see sex as an important part of both connection to others and expression of self, it's well worth facing up to some brave conversations, letting yourself be vulnerable and doing your research and seeing if you can't just find a way to come together. Meet in the middle, as it were. If you do, you might just find that, like Sarah and Lane, the joy and pleasure you find together in that space overflows into your wider life as well.

[Sarah]

That's the thing that I've found, is that as we've gotten more and more out of our comfort zone and tried new things in the bedroom and learned about things and then given it a go, and I feel like the energy of a better sex life just filters out to the rest of your life so that you're the one, you know, doing those things that you didn't used to do, which just adds to the invigoration.

[Tim Spengler]

Life just feels more adventurous, I think. Yeah.

[Melody Thomas]

Nearly every conversation that we have for the Good Sex Project finishes with the same question. Well, it's kind of more of a prompt. Good sex is this season because we've been doing this for a little while. I feel like we're ready to graduate from good sex to amazing sex or incredible sex or whatever adjective you want. Sex. This is what Sarah and Lane had

[Sarah]

to say about that epic sex is possible. It's just about believing in yourself and each other and your pleasure.

[Tim Spengler]

Extraordinary sex is heartfelt. I'm not denying that pleasure can be had from sexual organs banging together. And I'm sure people have experienced that. But when you add that heartfelt element into it, it's when it moves into a very special sacred space.

[Melody Thomas]

Thank you so much to Layne and Sarah for sharing with us so openly. That's it for the first ever episode of Love Bites from the Good Sex Project. I'm Melody Thomas. I'm so happy to be back with you in the next episode of Love Bites. We're going to meet a sports boy with a heart of gold who's gotten himself into a huge romantic mess.

[Tim Spengler]

Oh, my God. I think I was in love with her first. What have I just done?

[Melody Thomas]

That's Love Bites episode 2 with Chris out next week. Thank you so much for listening to the Good Sex Project made with the support of New Zealand on Air if you love the show, please subscribe, rate and review us on your favourite podcast platform and tell your friends and people you're messaging on the dating apps and strangers on the dance floor and in club bathrooms. If you want to get in touch with me or the team, you can send us a message on Instagram or oodsexproject or you can email goodsexprojectmail.com we love to hear from you. The Good Sex Project was made by PopSoc Media. It was written and developed by me, Melody Thomas. Our producer and audio editor is Kirsten Johnstone. Co producers are Kay Heke and Elena Bates. Phil Brownlee recorded and mixed these episodes and Paddy Fred did the music. Thanks Team Foreign,

[Hayden]

Howdy ho and welcome to Fantasy Fan Fellas. I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fan Girls podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.

[Jack Myers]

And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball. But you can call me the Smash Daddy.

[Hayden]

And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn. But here's the catch. Stephen here has not read Mistborn before.

[Jack Myers]

That's right. Hey hey. So each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions every single chapter.

[Hayden]

And along the way we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven will even try to guess what's next. Spoiler alert. He'll be wrong.

[Jack Myers]

News flash, I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday and you can find Fantasy Fan fellows wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tim Spengler]

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[James Richardson]

Hello there. I'm James Richardson and I host the Tony Football Show. Now this summer, the biggest sporting event in the world, the Football Men's World cup, is heading to Canada, Mexico and especially the United States. We're going to be there too. We are packing up and heading to Los Angeles for the duration. Which means that every day straight after the last match has concluded, you can catch some hot takes, instant reaction and insightful analysis from ourselves sat around the pool in la. Sounds like we're going to have a lot of fun doing it. I hope you're going to be joining us too. It's from June 10th all the way up to July 19th, the day of the final. Just search for the Totally football show wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tim Spengler]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.