Screen Guild Theater: My Favorite Brunette (EP4900s)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Great Detectives of Old Time Radio

Episode: Screen Guild Theater - My Favorite Brunette (EP4900s)

Air Date: February 1, 2026

Host: Adam Graham
Featured Drama: “Screen Guild Theater: My Favorite Brunette” (originally aired October 13, 1947)
Starring: Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour

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Overview

In this special 4,900th episode, host Adam Graham features a classic radio adaptation of the comedic mystery "My Favorite Brunette," performed by the Screen Guild Theater in 1947. The episode spotlights the unique blend of humor and suspense that defined Golden Age radio detective stories. Adam offers both historical context and personal insight, creating an inviting experience for nostalgia fans and newcomers alike.

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Key Discussion Points & Narrative Breakdown

1. Introduction and Episode Context ([01:24])

• Adam Graham welcomes listeners, marks the milestone 4,900th episode, and thanks long-term Patreon supporters.
• He mentions the audio quality is subpar due to the age of the recording but assures it's enjoyable.
• Sets up the main feature: a radio adaptation of the film “My Favorite Brunette,” starring Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour.

2. Opening Banter & Setup ([02:51]–[05:41])

• Bob Hope as Ronnie Jackson, a hapless baby photographer, dreams of detective glory—setting a comedic and self-deprecating tone.
• Ronnie idolizes his office neighbor, private eye Sam McLeod, and wants in on the action.
• Memorable wisecracks and running jokes establish Hope’s signature comedic voice.
  • "All I want is a simple yes or no."
    —Ronnie, pleading to be Sam's partner (05:17)

3. The “Mystery Woman” Appears ([06:48])

• Dorothy Lamour enters as Carlotta Montaigne (the “brunette”), seeking help for her missing husband (or is it her uncle?).
• The mix-ups over her familial relations and mounting paranoia fuel both humor and intrigue:
  • "I mean, I thought you said he was your husband. What is he, a convertible?"
    —Ronnie (09:24)
• Carlotta dramatically entrusts Ronnie with a mysterious map, insisting:
  • "Guard it with your life!" (10:48)

4. Into the Web of Deception ([11:12]–[15:34])

• Ronnie follows Carlotta’s lead to a lavish estate, meets Major Montague and a supposed invalid Baron—quickly entangled in a labyrinth of lies.
• He uncovers the Baron can actually walk, proving Carlotta isn’t delusional—snapping a crucial photo just before being attacked.
  • "So much ironness fell out of a tree. And then the guy who said he couldn't walk... walks to the bar!"
    —Ronnie, discovering the truth (15:34)

5. Framing the Detective ([16:02]–[22:53])

• After regaining consciousness, Ronnie is implicated in a murder he didn’t commit (Collins, a supposed ally seeking FBI help).
• Classic mistaken-identity gags and police misunderstandings ensue:
  • "You don't expect to get away with this, do you?"
    —Police officer (22:13)
• Ronnie’s own gun is used and the evidence is stacked against him.

6. Awaiting Execution & Last-Minute Rescue ([23:01]–[25:38])

• Ronnie, convicted and on death row, pleads innocence—still relying on the lost photo for exoneration.
• Carlotta returns at the eleventh hour with the recovered evidence, clears Ronnie, and reveals the real criminals have been apprehended.
  • "If you’re not, you’re gonna get the strongest hug you ever got from a ghost."
    —Ronnie, relieved to see Carlotta (25:27)
  • "Here, look at this... It's the picture I took of the phony Baron!"
    —Carlotta, presenting the proof (25:42)

7. Comedic Closure ([26:06]–[26:09])

• Carlotta, playfully dismissing Ronnie’s detective aspirations:
  • "No, darling, you’d better stick to baby pictures."
• Lighthearted banter on inadvertently becoming their own best customers rounds out the play.

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Host Commentary & Insights ([30:44])

• Adam Graham recaps the experience:
  • Notes the radio version compresses the original film, omitting supporting characters (notably Peter Lorre and Lon Chaney Jr.) and entire subplots for time.
  • "Bob Hope half-hour movie adaptation is always a bit of an experience... you really get mostly the bare bones of the film's plot."
    (30:44)
• Recommends listeners watch the film for a richer experience.
• Observes that the radio version retains Hope and Lamour’s comedic chemistry, highlighting their back-and-forth as the episode’s best feature.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |------------|-----------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:17 | Ronnie (Bob Hope) | "All I want is a simple yes or no." | | 09:24 | Ronnie | "I mean, I thought you said he was your husband. What is he, a convertible?" | | 10:48 | Carlotta | "Guard it with your life!" | | 15:34 | Ronnie | "So much ironness fell out of a tree. And then the guy who said he couldn't walk..." | | 22:13 | Police Officer | "You don't expect to get away with this, do you?" | | 25:27 | Ronnie | "If you’re not, you’re gonna get the strongest hug you ever got from a ghost." | | 26:06 | Carlotta | "No, darling, you’d better stick to baby pictures." | | 30:44 | Adam Graham | "Bob Hope half-hour movie adaptation is always a bit of an experience..." |

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Important Segments

• Opening/Ronnie’s Aspirations: 02:51–05:41
• Carlotta’s Dramatic Entrance: 06:48–10:53
• Encounter at the Estate/Baron’s Secret: 11:12–15:34
• Frame-up & Comedic Police Mishaps: 16:02–22:53
• Death Row & Climax: 23:01–26:09
• Host Commentary on Adaptation vs Film: 30:44

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Tone and Style

• Play: Witty, rapid-fire, full of genre lampooning and Bob Hope’s trademark quips.
• Host: Warm, informative, and gently humorous, offering both nostalgia and critical perspective.

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Summary

This episode delivers a classic blend of comedy and mystery, condensed for radio with standout performances by Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour. While the intricate plot is truncated, the charm and wit of the leads carry the adaptation. The host’s commentary contextualizes the production and invites listeners to explore both the radio and film versions for maximum enjoyment.

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For further exploration of old-time radio detective drama, subscribe to The Great Detectives of Old Time Radio. Visit greatdetectives.net for archives and more information.

Transcript

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[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Shop from rebel.com and save big Sam.

[Adam Graham (Podcast Host)]

Welcome to the Great Detectives of Old Time Radio from Boise, Idaho. This is your host, Adam Graham. In a moment, we're going to bring you our 4900th episode special. But first I want to encourage you. If you're enjoying the podcast, follow us using your favorite podcast software. This is also our first program official February and as such I want to go ahead and take a moment and recognize our latest Platinum Patreon supporters who have been supporting the podcast for 10 years this month. And I want to thank Mimi and Doc Patreon supporters since February of 2016, currently supporting the podcast at the Psalmist level of $4 or more per month. Really appreciate your decade of support. Now for our 4900th episode special, we are going to play a radio adaptation of a video theater program that we did last year. Now, I do want to warn you in advance that the sound quality has some issues, but nevertheless it was listenable enough for me. So I hope you enjoy it. Here from October 13, 1947 is the screen Guild Theater presentation of My Favorite Brunette.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Hollywood Candle Cigarettes presents the Screen Gill Player, Our stars Bob Hearst and Dorothy Lamour, our play My Favorite Brunette, our sponsor Camel Cigarette, and our host for the evening, the Vice president of the Motion Picture Relief Fund, Mr. Ralph Morgan. Well, here we are, our second week on the air for Camel. In the words of an old friend of mine, this is only the beginning. In weeks to come, we've been hearing Clark Gable, Bernard Turner, Jimmy Cagney, Greer Garson, Barry Cooper, Danny Kay and a host of others, the greatest stars in our greatest motion pictures. And sure you want me to scream to the players on Monday night Radio Mutt. And now, here are our two great stars tonight. Bob Holt and Dorothy Lemure in their hilarious screen success. My favorite brunette. Maybe some of you folks have heard about me. I've been in picture for quite some time. Yeah, Ronnie Jackson, Bernie. Pictures bring me back for a snack. They take the rap all he uses Pepsi and his map. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind taking baby pictures. Fooling around with kids is okay providing willing to make a change. And I've been wanting to make a change for months. You see the office next door belong to San McLeod. Yep. Cam the crowd. The coolest, toughest, private onion of business. This guy was so cool, he didn't even invest at night. He just defrosted. I guess that's where I got the idea I wanted to be a detective too. Anyway, late that afternoon, I'd just finished developing some negatives at Mrs. Farnese's ladder bomb when I heard Sam talking on his telephone. We made a simple deduction from that. Sam McCloud was back in his office, knocking. On a hunch, I opened the connection door and walked in. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, baby. I'm taking a rattler for shy right now. Hi, you Sam? Oh, hello, Rami. No, no, no, no, no. Go ahead, baby. Yeah, well, no hopped up Gunter with it. You think it's going to scare me up? Hey, Ronnie, hand me that bottle of bourbon, will you? Yeah, Sam, thanks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, honey, I'll be seeing you. Oh, now look, baby, let's discuss that some rainy night in front of a warm fire. Out. Bring the ratchet. Now, come on. Okay, Ron, let me tell you. Mine. Ranches. Oh, I mean, look, Sam, they all came today. Revolver, license, underarm holster, everything. How can I be your partner? I told you kids take to watch the birdie and you'll die of old age. Dang. It's a good bourbon. Smooth.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Try something.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Take the chill out of your burn. Okay. Somewhere in your head. But Sam, I got a feeling for this kind of life. All those beautiful dolls coming into the office. Those rainy nights in front of a warm fire. I'm sorry, Ronnie, but I can be a big help to you. Sam, look at this camera. My own invention. Pocket camera. I got news for you, kid. Somebody beat you to it. No, you don't get it. This camera has a keyhole lens. Takes pictures right through your door. Can I work for you, Sam? All I want is a simple yes OR no. No, Mr. Circle. Give it A thought. Sorry kid, I got to lam out to make that train. I Look, answer the phone. If it rings, answer the phone. Sure. Hello? I said if it rings. Oh, okay. No need on this apple. Well, well. Go on, kid. Keep your nose clean. With you that should be a full time job. You get to know about him in 19. Keep your nose clean. Answer the phone. I ought to be in this business for myself. I don't know. I can drink this stuff too. Smell now maybe I better start with.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Can you hold that next drink?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I don't know. I never had to in a rough. Hey, who you. Are?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Let me put on shade. That's better. Mary can see now I can.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

You know what? I like it.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I'm in hot water. I tell you, I'm in hot water.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Well, that's going to be when you in.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. I need a detective. Please say you'll help me. Mr. Mc.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I'm happy. Mr. Mc. I. Oh, I'm. I'm. But I'm not. I. I mean, I'm just. That is. Sure. Spill it, sister.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

My name is Carlotta Montaigne, Baroness Montaigne.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Baroness?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

That's right.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

What are you doing here? You should be helping Lizabeth. Without a trousseau.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I arrived here three days ago. And the Queen Peru with the Baron, My husband.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh, you've got a husband.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Here, this is a picture. I clipped it from the newspaper. The baby got here.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

He's the man with the board, huh?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

How did you know?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

No one else in the picture. Say, why is he sitting in that wheelchair?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

My husband is in England. He hasn't been out of that wheelchair in seven years.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

What's the matter? Is the friend more and more.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

At the dock I want to get.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

We got about all we can out of that. Go ahead. If you feel it, read it. That's all I say.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

At the dock, I went ahead to clear out luggage through customs. I was only gone five minutes, but when I returned he had disappeared.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

That snatch job, eh? Have you gone to the police?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

No, no, I can't go to the police. If I do, they'll kill you.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

They?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

That's what I want you to find out. Please, if you find my husband, I'll be so grateful.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I'll be watching. Don't worry. You're a pretty little head about it. Honey, I'll find your husband.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Oh, Mr. McLeod, I don't know how to find you.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I'll drink it soon. Any questions, baby?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Only one. Are you afraid of danger?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

No, you can get as close as you like, baby.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

We're in this together.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I'm with you till my dying breath.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Please, you. You mustn't put your idol on you.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Yeah, I better not leave him a fingerprint.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Listen closely. We haven't much time. Baron Montaigne, my uncle came to this.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Your uncle? Yes.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

No.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I mean, I thought you said he was your husband. What is he, a convertible? Well, I.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

You see, I. I thought.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh, he's your uncle now? You haven't even got a husband. No. Well, did I quote you any rates? I mean, we're cheaper. Look, honey, you and I could.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Excuse me. Lest you get so close.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

You're my client, aren't you? Yes, but I'm just sticking to business.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

You act like this with everyone you meet?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

No, just with dress. Now, what's our first move? Here's an address.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Meet me there tonight. It's the house where I'm staying.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Whose house is it?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I made you an interview. A former business associate of my uncle. When the band disappeared, Major Montague offered to help me.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh, moved right in, huh?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Yes. I didn't know where else to go. He's been very kind, but I don't know. I'm afraid. I have a feeling I'm being watched.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh, yeah? And now you can watch me, too.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

You could have a little watching.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

You don't have any sneaky stuff, huh?

[Adam Graham (Podcast Host)]

Ted.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I have to go now.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

You're not too big, you know.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

What you say. I have to go now.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

They.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

They may have found me. Remember, they must know who you are.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Pardon?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

They mustn't know who you are.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Don't worry. I told them I'm Donna Meecci and come to fix the telephone.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

And just one other thing.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

This map here.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Guard it with your life.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

My life? Hey, wait a minute. I.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Thanks again.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Goodbye.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I'll expect you later.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

My life, she says. Guard it with my life. Looks like I have nothing to do, but. What's that? It's a new wall. They got me trapped. But I tell you, they're coming in. Oh, it's just you.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

The cleaning woman he was expecting, maybe Mrs. Nussbaum.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I knew I had to move fast, so I went back to my office and did my map. Then I checked my gun, hopped into my car and headed for the address my little dream board had given me. Turned out to be one of those big, ritzy estates, the kind that looked like you could hunt quail in the hallways. I didn't know it then, but I was going to be the quail Anyway, I rang the bell and this big, smoothly American operator opened the door. Sounded like Senator Craghorn talking through a Dixie cup. Oh, good evening. Good evening, son. You must be the young man Carlotta's expectant. Would you come in? Well, if you put it that way. It just went up to. Oh, excuse me. May I fix your coat? Your color. Hey, stay away from the vest pockets. That's where I keep my butter. My name is Montague. Major Montague. I'm glad to know you. My name is. My name is Craig. Craig. Quit playing possum, Mr. McLeod. Sam, is he worth it?

[Adam Graham (Podcast Host)]

Oh.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh. You know that I'm a private detective. And to show your money heart's in the right place, I'm going to help you do a little detective. Let's go in for this. It's Willie, son. Coming down I'd like you to meet. In a wheelchair. It's the guy in the picture. Baron Montague. Yes, the Baron Montague. The chief. Carlotta said you've been snatched. Oh, such a lovely girl. Tell him. Yes. Mr. McLeod, I believe you're entitled to an explanation of the strange behavior of my wife. Wife? She told me she was your niece. His niece? Of course. Last week she was his sister. She sure gets around. You see, for the past six months, the baroness has been suffering from an acute form of schizophrenia, accompanied by visual aberrations and increasingly severe paranoid delusions. And how does she need any? Oh, I see. You're a Harvard man. Look, I don't mean to be nosy, but very simple, Mr. McLeod. The Baroness has a persecution cover. She thinks her own life is in danger. And she believes that her husband, the baron here, has been kidnapped. Poor child. A helpless old man who can't move from his wheelchair. And she thinks I just skipped away. But, gee, why don't you just bring her in there and let her see you? That's what I do. No, no, no. The doctor thinks it'll be too severe a shock. It might make a violent. You mean she's dangerous? Only if emotionally aroused. Surely you come across similar cases in your business, Mr. McLeod? Oh, yeah. Yes, I can take those schizos and leave them alone. Weakly, I leave them alone. Well, come on, Fell. Sir. Better go out and keep her calm. Come along and do the same for me. She must have seen the bird. Go on.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

The crowd. It's in the cloud. It's really you.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Well, here we are at the last. Goodbye.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Wait, wait. I've got news. I couldn't come to the door because I was on the phone. Do you know who called me? Wait, I pull down the chair.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Paul is pulling down the shade. What's the matter, honey? Was your mother frightened by a Venetian?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

That telephone call I just said to my uncle.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

That's funny. It's not a who.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

My uncle, Darren Montes. He told me not to worry. He's perfectly safe.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

He's safe all right. I mean, he's safe all right.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Oh, but he's not. Someone forced him to make that call. Someone who wants me to believe that nothing is wrong. I'm Mr. McLeod. I'm terrified.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

That makes you save. Look, baby, I gotta go.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Go? You wouldn't desert me, would you? Not now.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Yeah, I just remembered I got high blood pressure.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

High blood pressure?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Very high. If it wasn't for my skin, I'd be a fountain. Besides, I just remembered I got a date with Sam Spade. We're going out and see what we can dig up for later.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

But, Sam, you said we were in this together. You said you were with me till your dying breath.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Yeah, but I'm getting too close to it.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

They've been talking to you and I know who. I know who's at the bottom of all this. Major Simon Montague. Please don't listen to him. Oh, Hel baby. Of course, Mama. Northern. I'll see you tomorrow. Remember, I'm depending on you. A man's life is at stake.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Some luck, I find a dame who's nuts about me. And what do you know, she's nuts. Anyway, I got out of the house. But just as I was climbing into my car, I found my gun was missing. As I started back to the house for it, I happened to look casually into a window. What I saw started him. So much ironness fell out of a tree. And then the guy who said he couldn't walk in front of his wheelchair and walks to the bar. That's what it the girl wasn't nuts, but I had to have proof. So I pulled out my little pocket camera and took a shot of this phony bear and just somebody took a shot at me. Stop him.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Stop him.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

He's got a kill. I got it. I got it. A perfect picture. That two time baron. This is show up at gang. All right. Hey, I better call the police. I can use Sam's phone. Hello, up there. Come on, get me the police. Now, wait, hold on. Shaved my hand in some of his buildings. Well, here's the car right now. Smooth. Very smooth. He's out like the help on Thursday night. Nice going, Major. I don't usually miss. Hello, operator? Never mind that Call Major. In the nick of time. He just finished printing that picture. I'll take that. Now we're playing in luck. Here's the negative, too. Good. When I get through with that fool on the floor, he'll. Now, hold it, Major. You can't do that. Quiet. You're supposed to be unconscious. Yeah, but you shouldn't give away the plot. Why not? Gee, I'm the one that's telling the story.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

And I'm saving that for the second act.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

You big blabber mouth. In just a moment you'll hear act two of My Favorite Brunette starring Dorothy Lamour and Bob Hope. And now, Camel Cigarettes presents the Stream Gill players. In Act 2 of my favorite Brunette starring Bob Hul and Dorothy Lamore. I lay there on the floor in Sam's office all night. When I came through the next morning, I had a look on my head, the size of my head. And that bottle of Bourdon was still on the desk. Morning, my boy, I said. You ought to stay away from that kind of party. Then I snapped out of it. A thumping noise wasn't in my head. It was somebody being, unfortunately. So I staggered in and opened up and there stood.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Hello, Mr. Jackson. I'm Mrs. Fong.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Remember?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I had Sammy here yesterday and you said, sh.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

My head, my head.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I'm sorry. How did they come out?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

They were both recorded. I read the letters and they. Chris, that's all. You can go.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

You shouldn't drink so much.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

You win.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I want my baby's picture.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Picture, Picture. The rest of tanking is gone. Oh, dear.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Now I have to bring Sonny back.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

No, not Sonny's picture, Mrs. Fong. I haven't printed it yet.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

But you said.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Here. Here's Sonny's negative. Have it printed someplace else. I'm too busy now. Run along. But, Mr. Jackson, I'm out of business, see? Retired, see? Remember that? I didn't have any more babies, see? Now, where was I? What. What was I thinking of? Carlotta.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Mr. McL. Sam, are you with me for that service?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Over here. Carlotta. I'm in my office.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Your office? That sign on the door says Ronnie Jackson, Baby Picture.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

You want your picture? Baby. Baby.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

So that's it. You've just been playing detective.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Only I'm not playing anymore. I'm free like a. Too much for my blood. The little I got left. Only if I'm still alive, it's only because my insurance company won't give up.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Well, I am grateful for what you've done. Even if you wound Sam McLeod, you couldn't possibly have done more.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Well, never mind the soft show for now. And I'm gonna step to watch the Bernie and leave the chicks alone.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

But, Sam, I mean, Ronnie, I think you're very brave. Did you hear me, Ronnie? I think he's in his brain. Ronnie, why are you standing in the front of that mirror?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I know it's never empowered when I see him, honey. Sniff. No.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I have no one else to turn to. Don't you help me anyway, Ronnie.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Now, look, don't go feminine on me with a masculine either.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Ronnie, please.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh, no, you don't. What kind of a sucker do you take me for? But you can't carry your courage, sister. Even though you've got him to spare just because you're a girl. I am a man. You need me to put my arm around you. Let me come real close and even closer. You think you can get me to be anything you want?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

We've got to find a man named Collins.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Collins?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

James Collins, an engineer. He used to work for my uncle. I remember now. The baron told me if anything ever happened to him, I should go to this Mr. Collins at once.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

At once. Can't I even have one more kiss?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Not now, Ronnie. We haven't time.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Okay, baby, let's go. Mrs. Sa.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I'm very disappointed.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh, my. Oh, hello, Mrs. Song.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

You take a picture of Sonny smiling for the first time in his life. And then you give me the wrong. I'm sorry.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

I'll give you your money back.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

But I don't want my money back. I want a picture of. Of Sonny smiling for the first time.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Okay, okay. I'll send you a check. Come on, car. We got to hurry.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

But, Mr. Jackson, you gave me the wrong negative.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

He found this Collins in his office, all right. And told him everything that had happened. He listened, and he reached for his hat. Ms. Monte, you stay here. Jackson and I are going down to the FBI. Collins explained it all by driving down in his car. A gang of international crooks were after a big uranium deposit I found. I'd left my cigarettes at the office, so Collins parked while I went into Biopac. And when I got back. Where are you? Mr. Collins would like to see me. Mr. Collins? Oh, you fell asleep, eh? Come on. Wake up. Wake up. Come on. We gotta get down. Holy Toledo, he's dead. I keep cool, man. I keep cool. Here's the gun in the seat. It must be the middle weapon. Finding out this gun you've got the killer all new and shiny. Aha. My gun. My gun. I've got my fingerprints. I Better.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Hey, you.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Oh, gosh of crap. You don't expect to get away with this, do you? I didn't do it. I tell you. I didn't do it. No, of course not. This fire hydrant gets sneaked up on you. Oh, the fire hydrant. Yeah, I guess I did. Yeah. Let me see your driver's license. Yes, sir. It's right here in the glove box. Who's your friend? Oh, he's no friend. He's a friend of mine. I never even saw him before. And a drunk, huh? Yeah. He wanted to be a man of distinction and he overdid it. Are you trying to roll him? I don't know. He looks the same on the other side.

[Adam Graham (Podcast Host)]

I wouldn't think.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Square on both sides. Well, some of my. Besides, some of my best friends are drunk. Stop moving, boy. Well, I gotta go now.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

It's been fun.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Not too far. It's a bit suspicious. Not so long. It's been fun. Stop singing. Oh, goodbye. Officer, I got. Wait a minute. Something funny about this guy. Hey, he's dead. I'm sorry. I gotta go now. I gotta run along. They soon. You take one step and I'll shoot. Five minutes till midnight. Five minutes more. Doctor, didn't the governor call? I'm sorry. No word from the governor? No. Well, I don't know who to vote for next time, But next time. Is there any special message you want to send to anyone? Anything you want to say? It's what I kept saying all through the trial. I didn't kill Collins. We were working together. We were after Montague and his gang. I could prove if I had that picture, the one they swiped, the one that showed that bearings of phony. I could prove it if Carlotta ever showed up. You can't blame the jury, son. You could have invented that girl. They've never found the slightest trace of her. Yeah, I know. She just walked out of me. Maybe she was working with a game. The biggest train up since Whistler's Mother's. Objection. Anything you want. Got a can of some more? Why, yes, but why a Camel cigarette? I want my teeth on to be in good condition. When I make sense here, You know, you got to hear it in his heart. He's taking a funny rabbit. He so tough to kick the bucket. Ain't so tough to walk. That last mine, just twist away the cigarette, that's all. All right, let's go. Hey. Hey, Warden. Hey, there's a dame here. She says she's got a repeat for Jackson. Jackson? Well, what about me? Hey, that Is me, Ronnie.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Ronnie, darling, am I in time?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

If you're not, you're gonna get the strongest hug you ever got from a ghost. Where have you been, baby?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

I had to hide. I had to work things out in my own way. Ronnie, you're free.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

But how? Who did it?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Who's in it? With your own little pocket camera? Here, look at this.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

It's the picture I took in a stony van. Where'd you find it?

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Oh, I went to see Sam McCl. He figured it out who gave the wrong negative to Mrs. Fong. And he got it from her. He rounded up Montague and his gang. And my uncle is saying thanks to you.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Well, I get it. Huh? I sort of fell. I had it in. So maybe I was cut out to be a detective. Yeah, that's what I'll be. Ronnie Jackson, private eye.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

No, darling, you'd better stick to baby pictures.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Yeah. Who knows? You and I may be our own best customers. Thank you. Thank you, Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour for a wonderful half hour. And by the way, Dorothy, I just found your current Paramount picture, Wild Harvest. It was really grand. And, Bob, I'm looking forward to seeing yours. It's really.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Thanks, Mr. Morgan.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

And thank you, Ralph. No matter how busy we are, we'll always find time to come over here and do a Screen Guild show. Because we know how much this program means to the Motion Picture Relief Fund in its country house. Thanks to cameras for helping to make that great work possible.

[Carlotta Montaigne (Baroness Montaigne)]

Yes, Bob. And thanks to Camels for another swell job. Every week, they're sending free cigarettes to servicemen's hospitals all over the country. This week, the camels are going to Veterans hospital, Indianapolis, Indiana. U.S. army, Oliver General Hospital, Augusta, Georgia. U.S. naval Hospital, Santa Margarita Ranch, Oceanside, California. U.S. marine Hospital, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Veterans Hospital, Columbia, South Carolina. So look sharp, you guys. You'll soon be lighting up. Your three camels are on their way to your mom.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Don't forget, in the weeks ahead, the Screen Guild Players will bring you a great galaxy of stars and stories. Among them, Fred McMurray, Betty Grobel, Cary Grant, Joan Fontaine, Van Johnson and many others. Next Monday night, a great screenplay, Elizabeth the Queen, and two great stars, Bette Davis and Brian Ahern. Be sure to listen. My Favorite Brunette was directed by Bill Lawrence, adapted for radio by Harry Crom and with music by Wilbur Hatch, and was presented through the courtesy of Paramount Pictures, whose current release is Unconquered. Ingrid Bergman, who appeared on on last week's show, will soon be seen in the Enterprise production Arcs of Crime. Bing Crosby is currently starring in the Paramore 60. Welcome, stranger. This is Michael Roy of Hollywood wishing you good night. Cigarettes. Savior. The Columbia Broadcasting System.

[Adam Graham (Podcast Host)]

Welcome back. A Bob Hope half hour movie adaptation is always a bit of an experience. It's always filled with ad libs and jokes that aren't in the script and the way that whole scene between him and Dorothy Lamour's character was the highlight of the episode. From this episode, you really kind of get mostly the bare bones of the film's plot. And there are films that do adapt to pretty well down to this half hour format. This isn't one of them. The film has a lot more going for it. In particular, some really fun performances from Peter Lorre and Lon Chaney Jr. As major villains, a segment where Ronnie gets locked up in a sanitarium and has to escape, and this really hilarious bit in a hotel room where he is trying to record the bad revealing their nefarious plan. And I do have to admit, one of the really odd compression choices is having the scene where Ronnie tells the mom that he's not going to take baby pictures anymore, right before the scene where he tells Dorothy Lamour he's not going to be a private detective anymore. But at any rate, it's a fun little play, despite the audio issues. But if you are interested, I would encourage you to go and watch the movie. Well, now it's time to thank our Patreon supporter of the day and I want to go ahead and thank Jasmine. Patreon supporter since February of 2025, currently supporting the podcast at the rookie level of $2 or more per month. Thanks so much for your support, Jasmine. Thank you. And that will do it for today. If you're enjoying the podcast, please follow us using your favorite podcast software and be sure to rate and review the podcast wherever you download it from. We'll be back tomorrow with Danger with Grainger. Where?

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Come in. Hiya, Granger. Hello, Skip. Come over and sit down. Why'd you want to see me about, Skip? I just got out of the pen. Three years on a phony rap. Go on. I want you to get the people who framed me details, Skip. A lot of them. Yeah. Wait till I finish this. What are you doing? Playing a solitaire game called Patience. If you got me up here just to watch you play card games, I'll scram. Skip. You know why I got you up here? I want to be cleared. If I remember, you were convicted of robbery, open and shut case. Yeah, they opened the cell door and shut me in for three years. You understand, Granger? I'm not quarreling with the court. The evidence was presented. The court had no other choice. That was three years ago. Won't be easy. How can you give me along the way of a lead? Nothing. I had no alibi. What'll you do now that you're out? Lay low until you find out things. I've got money in the bank.

[Adam Graham (Podcast Host)]

I hope you'll be with us then. In the meantime, send your comments to Box 13 8. Follow us on Twitter at radiodetectives and check us out on Instagram. Instagram.

[Sam McLeod / Narrator (Bob Hope's character)]

Com.

[Adam Graham (Podcast Host)]

Great. Detectives from Boise, Idaho, this is your host, Adam Graham, signing off.