Podcast Summary: Ready For Love with Hilary Silver – Episode #85

The Worst Dating Advice for Women...And Yes, I’m Mad About It!

Release Date: October 10, 2025
Host: Hilary Silver

Episode Overview

In this episode, Hilary Silver takes a passionate deep dive into the most common—and most damaging—dating advice for women circulating online, particularly advice that’s designed to “get a man.” With candor and frustration, Hilary picks apart why these popular tactics and mindsets are not only misleading but also harmful, disempowering, and rooted in patriarchal thinking. She explains why rejecting these strategies in favor of self-trust and authenticity is the only real path to love and fulfillment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Problem with Clickbaity Dating Advice

[00:00 – 01:00]

• Hilary lists examples of viral dating advice headlines:
  • “What men want more than sex”
  • “Three confident female mindsets that drive guys wild”
  • “Texts to make any man obsess over you”
• She acknowledges that this content is highly engaging and why people are drawn in, but firmly calls it out as “bullshit.”
• Quote:
  • “It really is just such bullshit. And while all of that might be intriguing or fascinating to know, I’m going to share with you four reasons why all of that kind of dating advice leads down a rabbit hole of toxic, bullshitty advice for women.” (Hilary Silver, 01:00)

2. Four Reasons This Advice is Toxic

A. Marketing Tactics and Dark Psychology

[01:30 – 05:00]

• These headlines are products of manipulative marketing, preying on women who are often hurting and seeking quick fixes for heartbreak or loneliness.
• Describes “dark psychology” as tactics rooted in manipulation, gaslighting, and narcissistic behaviors.
• Quote:
  • “It’s taking advantage of women who are looking for help... These promise a quick easy fix to solve the pain and inconvenience of a problem rather than actually helping women for real.” (Hilary Silver, 02:00)

B. Encouraging Manipulation and Inauthenticity

[05:00 – 07:30]

• These tactics teach women to manipulate men, something Hilary says high-quality men don’t fall for.
• Stresses authenticity: attempting to act and text in prescribed ways causes women to abandon their own instincts.
• Quote:
  • “Never do anything with the goal of getting someone else to do something. That is manipulation… You’ll never really be loved for who you are, only for what you have shown them, which is a false version of you.” (Hilary Silver, 06:15)

C. Prescribed, Rule-Based Approaches Undermine Self-Trust

[07:45 – 10:00]

• Relying on “do this, say that” advice keeps women looking externally for solutions, undermining their ability to trust themselves.
• By outsourcing their decision-making and instincts, women become disconnected from their own needs and boundaries.
• Quote:
  • “If you’re always going to do what other people tell you to do, you can’t just relax. You’re always going to be looking outside of yourself for the answers rather than just trust your intuition, trust yourself and relax and just be you...” (Hilary Silver, 08:45)

D. Centering Men Instead of Women

[10:00 – 13:00]

• Points out that most traditional dating advice is “man-centered”—focused on how to make a man happy, get his attention, or fit his desires.
• Criticizes this as perpetuating patriarchal “pick me” culture, disempowering women in the process.
• Quote:
  • “All of this advice is about him. What he wants, how to please him, how to make him happy. It has you bending and twisting and abandoning yourself all to just get the guy.” (Hilary Silver, 10:30)
  • “It’s straight up patriarchal conditioning...the same old message women have been fed for generations, that there’s a certain way to be in order to be loved.” (Hilary Silver, 11:15)

Straight-Up Truth: The Only Real Dating Advice

[13:30 – 16:00]

• Hilary’s core message:
  • Trust yourself—your thoughts, your feelings, your wants, your instincts.
  • Turn inward, stop second guessing yourself, and show up authentically.
• Asserts that building a strong relationship with yourself is the foundation for attracting healthy love, not strategies to “get” a man’s attention.
• Quote:
  • “The only dating advice you will ever need is this: trust yourself. It is all about you—what you want and what you think and what you feel and what feels right for you, and what doesn’t.” (Hilary Silver, 13:45)

A Paradigm Shift: Stop the Games, Start the Real Work

[16:00 – 19:00]

• Doing the “deeper work” means:
  • No more chasing or twisting yourself into pretzels.
  • Becoming the woman who naturally attracts the love she wants, easily and enjoyably.
• The rest of the work—and Hilary’s program—is about sustaining that self-trust and wholeness.
• Quote:
  • “When you do this deeper work on yourself, the whole game changes... You finally become the woman who naturally attracts the kind of love that you’ve wanted all along with ease and grace. And it’s just effortless.” (Hilary Silver, 17:30)

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On dark psychology in dating:
  “It’s really about using covert influence to get someone to do what you want them to do… It sounds gross, right?” (02:15)

• On inauthentic dating approaches:
  “Being inauthentic pulls you away from your true authentic self and then you end up betraying yourself and abandoning yourself every step of the way.” (06:45)

• On patriarchy and the pick-me mind trap:
  “Ultimately it’s what the younger kids are calling now, Pick me, energy. ‘Pick me. Pick me. Please just pick me.’ It is so disempowering to women and it is so very damaging.” (11:30)

• On breaking the “how to get the guy” cycle:
  “The goal becomes to get the guy, instead of be the woman who naturally attracts the right man when you’re being your authentic self.” (12:30)

Key Segment Timestamps

• Intro & Problematic Dating Advice Overview: 00:00 – 01:30
• Dark Psychology & Marketing Tactics: 01:30 – 05:00
• Manipulation and Inauthenticity: 05:00 – 07:30
• Rule-Based Advice Undermining Self-Trust: 07:45 – 10:00
• Man-Centered Advice and Patriarchy: 10:00 – 13:00
• Hilary’s Core Dating Message—Self-Trust: 13:30 – 16:00
• The Rewards of Deeper Self-Work: 16:00 – 19:00

Episode Takeaways

• Most viral dating advice is rooted in manipulative, patriarchal, and disempowering tactics.
• The only real, lasting dating strategy is deep self-trust, self-expression, and wholeness.
• When women center their own desires and authenticity, they naturally attract the relationships they actually want—without games or manipulation.