Summary5 min read

Podcast Summary: Ready For Love with Hilary Silver – Episode #85

The Worst Dating Advice for Women...And Yes, I’m Mad About It!

Release Date: October 10, 2025
Host: Hilary Silver

Episode Overview

In this episode, Hilary Silver takes a passionate deep dive into the most common—and most damaging—dating advice for women circulating online, particularly advice that’s designed to “get a man.” With candor and frustration, Hilary picks apart why these popular tactics and mindsets are not only misleading but also harmful, disempowering, and rooted in patriarchal thinking. She explains why rejecting these strategies in favor of self-trust and authenticity is the only real path to love and fulfillment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Problem with Clickbaity Dating Advice

[00:00 – 01:00]

Hilary lists examples of viral dating advice headlines:
- “What men want more than sex”
- “Three confident female mindsets that drive guys wild”
- “Texts to make any man obsess over you”
She acknowledges that this content is highly engaging and why people are drawn in, but firmly calls it out as “bullshit.”
Quote:
- “It really is just such bullshit. And while all of that might be intriguing or fascinating to know, I’m going to share with you four reasons why all of that kind of dating advice leads down a rabbit hole of toxic, bullshitty advice for women.” (Hilary Silver, 01:00)

2. Four Reasons This Advice is Toxic

A. Marketing Tactics and Dark Psychology

[01:30 – 05:00]

These headlines are products of manipulative marketing, preying on women who are often hurting and seeking quick fixes for heartbreak or loneliness.
Describes “dark psychology” as tactics rooted in manipulation, gaslighting, and narcissistic behaviors.
Quote:
- “It’s taking advantage of women who are looking for help... These promise a quick easy fix to solve the pain and inconvenience of a problem rather than actually helping women for real.” (Hilary Silver, 02:00)

B. Encouraging Manipulation and Inauthenticity

[05:00 – 07:30]

These tactics teach women to manipulate men, something Hilary says high-quality men don’t fall for.
Stresses authenticity: attempting to act and text in prescribed ways causes women to abandon their own instincts.
Quote:
- “Never do anything with the goal of getting someone else to do something. That is manipulation… You’ll never really be loved for who you are, only for what you have shown them, which is a false version of you.” (Hilary Silver, 06:15)

C. Prescribed, Rule-Based Approaches Undermine Self-Trust

[07:45 – 10:00]

Relying on “do this, say that” advice keeps women looking externally for solutions, undermining their ability to trust themselves.
By outsourcing their decision-making and instincts, women become disconnected from their own needs and boundaries.
Quote:
- “If you’re always going to do what other people tell you to do, you can’t just relax. You’re always going to be looking outside of yourself for the answers rather than just trust your intuition, trust yourself and relax and just be you...” (Hilary Silver, 08:45)

D. Centering Men Instead of Women

[10:00 – 13:00]

Points out that most traditional dating advice is “man-centered”—focused on how to make a man happy, get his attention, or fit his desires.
Criticizes this as perpetuating patriarchal “pick me” culture, disempowering women in the process.
Quote:
- “All of this advice is about him. What he wants, how to please him, how to make him happy. It has you bending and twisting and abandoning yourself all to just get the guy.” (Hilary Silver, 10:30)
- “It’s straight up patriarchal conditioning...the same old message women have been fed for generations, that there’s a certain way to be in order to be loved.” (Hilary Silver, 11:15)

Straight-Up Truth: The Only Real Dating Advice

[13:30 – 16:00]

Hilary’s core message:
- Trust yourself—your thoughts, your feelings, your wants, your instincts.
- Turn inward, stop second guessing yourself, and show up authentically.
Asserts that building a strong relationship with yourself is the foundation for attracting healthy love, not strategies to “get” a man’s attention.
Quote:
- “The only dating advice you will ever need is this: trust yourself. It is all about you—what you want and what you think and what you feel and what feels right for you, and what doesn’t.” (Hilary Silver, 13:45)

A Paradigm Shift: Stop the Games, Start the Real Work

[16:00 – 19:00]

Doing the “deeper work” means:
- No more chasing or twisting yourself into pretzels.
- Becoming the woman who naturally attracts the love she wants, easily and enjoyably.
The rest of the work—and Hilary’s program—is about sustaining that self-trust and wholeness.
Quote:
- “When you do this deeper work on yourself, the whole game changes... You finally become the woman who naturally attracts the kind of love that you’ve wanted all along with ease and grace. And it’s just effortless.” (Hilary Silver, 17:30)

Memorable Moments & Quotes

On dark psychology in dating:
“It’s really about using covert influence to get someone to do what you want them to do… It sounds gross, right?” (02:15)
On inauthentic dating approaches:
“Being inauthentic pulls you away from your true authentic self and then you end up betraying yourself and abandoning yourself every step of the way.” (06:45)
On patriarchy and the pick-me mind trap:
“Ultimately it’s what the younger kids are calling now, Pick me, energy. ‘Pick me. Pick me. Please just pick me.’ It is so disempowering to women and it is so very damaging.” (11:30)
On breaking the “how to get the guy” cycle:
“The goal becomes to get the guy, instead of be the woman who naturally attracts the right man when you’re being your authentic self.” (12:30)

Key Segment Timestamps

Intro & Problematic Dating Advice Overview: 00:00 – 01:30
Dark Psychology & Marketing Tactics: 01:30 – 05:00
Manipulation and Inauthenticity: 05:00 – 07:30
Rule-Based Advice Undermining Self-Trust: 07:45 – 10:00
Man-Centered Advice and Patriarchy: 10:00 – 13:00
Hilary’s Core Dating Message—Self-Trust: 13:30 – 16:00
The Rewards of Deeper Self-Work: 16:00 – 19:00

Episode Takeaways

Most viral dating advice is rooted in manipulative, patriarchal, and disempowering tactics.
The only real, lasting dating strategy is deep self-trust, self-expression, and wholeness.
When women center their own desires and authenticity, they naturally attract the relationships they actually want—without games or manipulation.

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[00:00]
A
What men want more than sex 6 compliments men are dying to hear 3 confident female mindsets that drive guys wild 7 things men need more than sex to fall in love how to inspire a man to show up fully for you five Texts to make any man obsess over you what a man is thinking when he ignores you can you guess the topic of our conversation today? Yes, we are talking about the worst dating advice for women. And this just makes me so mad. I literally pulled these off of some of the biggest YouTube channels out there. And yeah, it's all really click baity. And maybe why some of those channels are so big in the first place. Because who doesn't want to know how to make a man feel intense love and desire for you? But I am going to show you why all of this is so very wrong and instead really the only dating advice you will ever need. Hi, it's Hilary. Welcome to the Ready for Love podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five star rating on your podcast app, leave a review and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, subscribe. Please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. Feminine energy moves that make him melt how to get a guy to like you again five texts to make a man fall in love with you how to make men worship you like the queen you are. Oh my God. I'm trying not to laugh and be mad at the same time. It really is just such bullshit. And while all of that might be intriguing or fascinating to know, I I'm going to share with you four reasons why all of that kind of dating advice leads down a rabbit hole of toxic, bullshitty advice for women. So first, it's a marketing tactic that relies on dark psychology. Dark psychology deals with the darker side of human behavior such as gaslighting, narcissism, manipulation, deception and persuasion tactics. So it's really about using covert influence to get someone to do what you want them to do, all to control, dominate, influence or take advantage of others. It sounds gross, right? So in this case it is being used on you and then it encourages you to engage in it. Here's how these kinds of clickbaity promises are exploiting and manipulating women. It's taking advantage of women who are looking for help. Maybe women are who are looking for help are feeling lonely or sad or hopeless or rejected because they just got broken up with. They're heartbroken. And these promise a quick easy fix to solve the pain and inconvenience of a problem rather than actually helping women for real. So just get the guy to like you again. Just get your ex back. Just get him to ask you out you so that you can feel better about yourself. So that you can just feel lovable or worthy. The goal here for them is to get you to click, get you to watch the video and then ultimately to buy something. But also which leads me to the second reason. It is teaching dark psychology tactics and is encouraging you to engage in these toxic, unhealthy, disempowering behaviors. Listen to me right now. Never do anything with the goal of getting someone else to do something. That is manipulation. It's totally gamey, high quality men don't fall for it anyway and you just can't control what other people are going to do. It's also just completely inauthentic. So that causes all kinds of problems. You end up overthinking your every move rather than just instinctively responding and being yourself. Being inauthentic pulls you away from your true authentic self and then you end up betraying yourself and abandoning your abandoning yourself every step of the way when you're not showing up as your real true authentic self. You'll never really be loved for who you are, only for what you have shown them, which is a false version of you. The third reason is this is prescriptive. It's prescribed. Do this thing, do that thing, text this, say this, act this way. Just follow the rules and do what some person tells you to do, which has you looking outside of yourself for the answers rather than turning inward. And if you're always going to do what other people tell you to do, you can't just relax. You're always going to be looking outside of yourself for the answers for someone else to help you. Rather than just trust your intuition, trust yourself and relax and just be you knowing that you have all the answers that you need inside of yourself when you show up that way you're relaxed and you're trusting yourself and you're just going with what feels right for you. You will always win and everything that you do has a different energy around it. And finally, reason number four that makes me the maddest of all. It's so man centered rather than woman centered, self centered centered. All of this advice is about him. What he wants, how to please him, how to make him happy. It has you bending and twisting and abandoning yourself all to Just get the guy. And you get the guy by being what he wants you to be. It is straight up patriarchal conditioning. It's the same old message women have been fed for generations, that there's a certain way to be in order to be loved. It reinforces the belief that you have to be someone that you're not in order to be chosen. And ultimately it's what the younger kids are calling now. Pick me, energy. Pick me. Pick me. Please just pick me. It is so disempowering to women and it is so very damaging because the goal becomes to get the guy instead of be the woman who naturally attracts the right man when you're being your authentic self. So here's the truth. The only dating advice that you will ever get need is this. Trust yourself. It is all about you. What you want and what you think and what you feel and what feels right for you and what doesn't. Learn to tune in. Instead of second guessing or doubting or tuning out. When you stop questioning your actions, your needs, your feelings and your worth, you will always know exactly what to do. And this is what makes Ready for Love so different. Because at the core, it is not about tricks or tactics or dark psychology or manipulation or getting him to do anything. It's about building the kind of relationship with yourself that allows you to show up this way. Most women already know what they need to do and what they don't know is how to get there. That is our job and we are the absolute best in the world at it. When you do this deeper work on yourself, the whole game changes. You stop chasing you stop twisting yourself into pretzels and you finally become the woman who naturally attracts the kind of love that you've wanted all along with ease and grace. And it's just effortless and it's actually fun and enjoyable. If you're ready to naturally just attract the kind of love that you've always wanted and stop all the game playing, all the manipulation, all the shallow surface level dating advice that has you spinning in circles and going nowhere. Just apply to speak with us. It's not scary. It's the most valuable 75 minutes that you will ever spend talking about your love life. We have, we are true experts. We've done 15,000 of these calls in the last eight years. We have seen it and we've heard it all. You are in amazing hands with with my team. So go to readyforloving.com apply and we cannot wait to talk to you.