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Podcast Host (0:00)
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Hillary (0:27)
You stop caring about something, it suddenly becomes available to you? Maybe you tried really hard to make something happen or to achieve a goal, even obsessed over it, but it wasn't until you gave up on it a little that it actually happened. Today I'm sharing what this is all about, how it works and why. It's a mindset technique I've been using with my clients for 25 years to help them get more of what they want without losing themselves or their well being and quality of life in the process. So that you too can get more of what you want this year while maintaining your health, vitality and your sanity. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Ready for Love podcast. We hear this happening a lot with people who are trying so hard to have a baby. We all have heard a story like this. They're doing all the interventions and life almost stands still in that frantic pursuit to get pregnant. They're obsessed, but only when they finally give up and stop trying or even adopt, they get pregnant. Maybe you've experienced this in dating. You were so focused on finding someone, going on all the dates and really putting yourself out there. But then the moment you decided to take a break and just focus on yourself for a while is when you met someone really great. So what is this technique that is so super powerful that you get more of what you want without trying so hard and pushing and chasing. It's what I call letting go of the outcome. You simply let go of the outcome that you so desperately seek so that you can actually get it. And I know it sounds totally backwards encounter to everything that we naturally tend to do. And it doesn't seem to make logical sense at all. Because when you want something so badly, you'd think it would make more sense to go after it with everything that you've got. But stay with me so so that I can explain what seems like a really big contradiction. And I promise if you have the good sense to listen to me on this, it will be as life changing for you as it has been for me. So rest assured, letting go is not about quitting or giving up on what you want. And it's not about pretending that you don't care about something either, because that doesn't work. You just can't fake it. Letting go of the outcome is mentally and emotionally detaching from and releasing your need to achieve or have this thing. It's wanting something, going after it, and taking all the necessary actions towards it. And at the very same time releasing your grip on the outcome you so deeply desire. You're holding these two opposing forces within you at the same time. But what makes the difference is how you are doing all of what you're doing. It's who you are being when you're doing it that makes the difference. Everything about you and how you approach working towards the goal matters more than all the things that you're doing to achieve it. I'll say that another way. It doesn't matter as much what you are doing as it does who you are being when you're doing it. Let that sink in for a second. What you are thinking about, how you are feeling, your mindset, your self talk, and your energy. There's a big difference between I need this and I want this. When you're in I need this energy. I must have it or else I will suffer, be in pain, will feel bad about myself. I won't be good enough, I can't breathe. That's desperation. And you're anxious, overly eager, frantic. And your actions are grasping, chasing, or forcing or pushing. When you're in I want this, you're in a place of desire. You're going after something because it would be great to have it, but you're not desperate to get it. So you're not strained or stressed out. You're not frantic and anxious. You're not emotionally dependent upon getting it. You trust yourself to handle whatever happens. If it doesn't work out, you'll be fine. You'll figure something else out. And so you shift into a state of being genuinely okay, whether you get it or not. And that deep trust and faith in yourself and in the universe allows you to relax and open yourself up to the endless infinite possibility of whatever happens then. Inside of you is this emotional state. And it's an energy that opens you up to receiving what it is that you want. Your entire being and energy is wide open and welcoming to this thing that that you want to just come into your life. And then when you shift into this state, all the actions that you are taking are coming from a version of you who is inspired and joyful and Grateful and just high vibe all around. I call this slowing down to get there faster. You're breathing and relaxing and trusting. It is all coming to you as you do all the things. Think about trying to pick up a wet bar of soap. And if you're just grasping at it frantically or recklessly, it just pops right out of your hands, continuing to escape and remaining just beyond your reach. But if you slow down and you carefully, gently, thoughtfully reach for it, you can just simply pick it up. Can you feel the difference? One is trust, detachment, releasing your grasp and letting go. The other is fear, anxiety, attachment and desperation. And that just repels everything you want and are working so hard to achieve. So. So if you're dating someone and you're desperate for them to like you and for them to commit and for them to choose you, you come across as needy. You overanalyze everything. You try to control his perception of you. You try to control the pace of things and you're seeking reassurance from him. You end up losing yourself, trying to be what you think he wants. And that low vibe, scarcity energy pushes him away. But when you're detached, you. You can genuinely like someone. But also you're totally fine if it doesn't work out because you know that your worth isn't tied to whether this one person chooses you. And that's when you're completely magnetic. That's when you're showing up as your best self and that's when they are drawn to you. So the same thing applies to your career, your business, your finances, your health. It really just applies to everything when you're gripping so tightly onto a specific outcome that you really can't control anyway. And when you need it to happen or else you'll fall apart, you are repelling it. You're operating from scarcity and fear, but when you want it and you're working toward it, but you're not attached to it, you trust that you're going to be okay regardless. That's abundance. That's confidence. That's the energy that attracts everything you want. So detachment isn't about not caring. It's about caring without needing. It's about wanting without desperation. About taking action from a place of trust instead of fear. And that subtle but powerful shift just changes everything. So you're probably wondering how. How do I actually do this? How do I detach when I care so much about something? How do I let go when everything in me wants to hold on tight? I'm going to walk you through the four step strategy that I use myself and that I teach my clients so so that you can get more of what you want without working so hard in your relationships, your career, your health, your finances, all of it. One of the simplest ways to take better care of yourself is sleep. Not just getting more hours, but creating a bed you genuinely want to get into. When your bed is beautiful and comfortable, better rest becomes an easy habit. Everyone in my family sleeps on Cozy Earth sheets now. They are incredibly soft, they feel luxurious and getting into bed at night genuinely feels like a small luxury you get to enjoy enjoy every single day. I love how Cozy Earth makes rest feel inviting. 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