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I've spent 25 years inside the minds of women. Women who climb the corporate ladder, raise families and break big time barriers. Yet they still feel unseen, unfulfilled and disconnected from themselves. But then something shifts. A moment or a realization, a new way of being in life that changes everything. It's when you step into something more astonishing and magnetic and something undeniable. Society just calls it aging, but I call it stepping into your wise woman era. When you finally stop looking outside yourself for validation and start becoming self centered. Today, I'm sharing the five signs that you're stepping into yours. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. For most of your life, you've been longing for confidence and chasing after it like it's something outside of yourself. Something that you have to earn and that has it feeling just out of reach. You've built a career, a life and a reputation, so you have all the evidence to prove that you can just finally be confident in yourself. But yet, deep down, there is still that nagging voice asking, am I doing this right? Did they approve? Did they clap? Did I do a good job? Am I good enough? That's because when confidence is contingent upon external outcomes like approval or achievement or accomplishment and external validation, it's always a fleeting and fragile experience. But then slowly, something starts to shift. The inner voice quiets and you stop asking, do they like me? And you just start asking, do I even like them? And you walk into a room and instead of scared, scanning for approval, you own the space. You radiate confidence. Not because someone else acknowledged you, but because you trust yourself completely. And that's when you know you've really begun to just step into your wise woman era. This shift happens when your opinion of yourself holds more weight than anyone else's. Not your families, not your friends, or even your spouse or your partner. Only you, yours. You might think that's being self absorbed and that it's a bad thing, but this is actually what I call being self centered. And it's one of the best things that can ever happen to you. Because when you're self centered, something else happens that you wouldn't expect, which is the second shift that you know that you're stepping into your wise woman era. And that is that you no longer negotiate your time, your peace, or your power. There's an unspoken rule that every woman learns early on. Don't be too opinionated, don't be too ambitious. Don't take up too much space. Because the moment that you step outside the lines, you become a problem. And maybe without realizing it, you actually listened. So you played along and you softened your voice and you held back in meetings. Maybe you bit your tongue when you had something to say, or you downplayed your successes so you wouldn't make others uncomfortable. You just made yourself a little bit smaller so that other people could feel bigger or more comfortable. It never made people actually like you more. And it never made you belong. It actually only just made you disappear. But the moment that you become self centered, you realize that shrinking yourself was never the answer. And suddenly your time, your peace, and your power are no longer up for negotiation. This shift isn't about being difficult. It's about owning yourself completely. I've coached thousands of women on how to do this, and it's as simple as asking yourself the right questions. If you're ready to take this step, I created a free video training that will guide you exactly on how to do it. So just tap the link in the show notes or in the description to get access to it if you want to check it out. And this brings us to the third sign. You stop. Oh, apologizing for taking up space. Little girls. We are trained to be nice, to be easy, to be flexible. You were told that being a good person means making sure that everyone else is comfortable, even if it costs you. So you did. You said yes when you wanted to say no. You explained yourself when no explanation was needed. You smiled through things that made you want to scream. And you apologized when you didn't even do anything wrong. And you thought this made you a better person, but it didn't. It just made you exhausted. Maybe it made you feel resentful or taken advantage of, or even taken for granted. And maybe it just made you feel angry so that one day you snap. Maybe it's something small, like a friend who always takes, or a boss who keeps piling on the work, or a family member who doesn't respect your time. And in that moment, it hits you. The reason that you're drained isn't because you're doing too much. It's because you're allowing too, too much. Allowing too much. There's a big distinction there between doing too much and allowing too much. So you just decide to stop. You stop justifying your nos. You stop explaining why you can't help and why you're not coming and why you're unavailable. And you stop justifying your boundaries. The reality is, no one else is thinking about your peace. You are the only one who will be doing that. So you must protect it. It is on you. And this is the power of being self cent centered. No, it is not selfish. It is completely necessary. And it means putting yourself at the center of your life. It means recognizing that your time, your energy and your peace are yours and you don't need permission to put yourself first. And it doesn't just change your life, it literally changes everything when you start doing this. Now let me ask you this. How many years have you spent at war with your own reflection? Think back as far as you can to being a teenager, or maybe even sooner. How many mornings have you picked apart your face, your skin, your hair, your body, wishing you looked different? How many times have you looked back at photos of your younger self and thought, oh my God, I wish I appreciated or enjoyed what I had back then. But instead you spent all that time being critical and unhappy with yourself. So much emphasis is on physical appearance for girls. It used to be magazines and now it is social media, but it is everywhere. And there is a certain unattainable and unrealistic way to look. And it is so very damaging. And so then as we age, it really only compounds itself because we're supposed to fight time. Reverse aging, erase wrinkles, shrink your body, cover the gray, stay small, stay, stay young. But that's not happening anymore to us. Because when you embrace being self centered, you stop measuring yourself by those established standards. You stop picking yourself apart and instead start accepting how you look and maybe even finally loving how you look. Oh my God, what a life changing experience. And when you stop being at war with your own appearance, people start seeing you differently. And it's not because your face or your body changed, but because you did, your energy did. And that is the fourth sign that you're stepping into your wise woman era. Women don't become invisible as they age. We become impossible to ignore. And this brings us into the fifth and final sign that you are stepping into your wise woman era. You finally have a loving relationship with yourself like you've never had before. You are kinder, gentler and more accepting of yourself. You forgive yourself your flaws, your faults and your fuck ups. Life is too short to be mean to yourself or to punish yourself. You can finally exhale and give yourself a damn break. From your appearance to your behavior, to your habits and your choices. You know that you're doing the best you can. So when you do fall short, oh well, no big deal. Live and learn, move on. And you can just get over things quickly instead of beating yourself up or worrying about it so much. And this grace that you can finally, give to yourself means that you can extend that to others more easily too. You know that you've got your own back, that you'll always take care of you no matter what and you'll do what is best for you even if it's not what others want you to do. Oh my God. That is just a life changing experience. When you can trust yourself like that, this makes you powerful and unstoppable and untouchable. You wear what makes you feel sexy and powerful. You speak how you want to speak. You live in a way that serves you and you don't care if it makes other people uncomfortable because their comfort is not your responsibility. You. You are not here to make other people happy, you are here to make you happy. And you realize you were never supposed to fit in and you've always belonged. You've actually already always belonged to you and that you are meant to lead. You are a leader in your life. You are self led and that's exactly what you are doing now. Women have more power than we realize and we are not wielding it. I want to say that again. Women have way more power than we realize and we are not wielding it. And being self centered is the answer. Living life on your own terms as defined by you making yourself and your thoughts and your feelings and your needs a priority. The time has come individually and collectively for us to do this. I know that if we can all start claiming our place at the front of the line and start leading from this self centered place and to stop the self loathing and to start the self loving and if we stop the self doubting and instead start the self trusting, this world would be a much better place. And now that you understand this what it takes to live in your wise woman era and to be self centered, I am curious. I want to know what might you do differently starting right now. Please share your thoughts in the comments below and I look forward to seeing you next time.