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Episode 153. Dancing Myself Back to Life: What a Solo Taught Me About Healing and Aliveness

It’s not every day that you feel yourself come fully alive on stage.

This past Sunday at ArtPrize, I had the chance to perform a solo I choreographed — and it turned out to be one of the most healing, transformative experiences of my life.

For 3 minutes and 41 seconds, I told my story through movement. I wasn’t muted, apologetic, or self-conscious. I was calm, confident, strong, and excited. Most of all, I felt so incredibly alive.

Following the Breadcrumbs

This moment didn’t come out of nowhere.

Four years ago, I followed a tiny nudge and signed up for a beginner tap class. After nearly two decades away from dance, I quickly noticed how self-consciousness and perfectionism crept in on stage.

My body felt stiff, my anxiety was high, and though the stage was exciting, true playfulness felt distant.

But I kept following the breadcrumbs.

I said yes to more classes, even when they scared me.
I performed in shows even when I worried about looking awkward.
I danced with friends and noticed my confidence slowly growing.
I began experimenting with choreography, movement, and self-expression in ways that felt both terrifying and exhilarating.

And step by step, those breadcrumbs led me here: creating a solo to a song by my middle school friend, Courtney Gayle, the incredible voice of the band Gritty Sunset.

The Surprise of Calm Confidence

Here’s what I told myself while preparing for ArtPrize: Even if I get on stage and feel nervous and stiff, it’s okay. The healing has already come from creating the dance and sharing it with my friends.

But then something unexpected happened.

When it was time to perform, the nerves I’d been bracing for never came.

I didn’t need my grounding notes.
I didn’t need the paper I had tucked into my pocket.
Instead, I felt calm. Confident. Excited.

It was as if a fierce young part of me — a protector who had been muted early in life — finally had permission to come back out and shine.

The True Gift

The video of my actual performance wasn’t captured — but it doesn’t matter.

Because I know what happened.

I know how I felt.

And most importantly: I believe myself above all else.

That, my friends, is the true gift.

This experience reminded me that aliveness doesn’t come from waiting for external validation, or perfect conditions, or even a flawless recording. It comes from listening to our inner breadcrumbs, saying yes to what lights us up, and allowing ourselves to be seen.

Watch & Support

I was honored to be part of a lineup of nine incredible pieces my teacher Amber put together. You can watch them all here:
👉 Watch the performances

Follow Gritty Sunset

I can’t close without pointing you to the voice that carried me through this piece: my friend Courtney Gayle of @iamcourtneygayle and @grittysunset.

She is living proof of what it looks like to follow your dreams and share your unique gifts with the world.

Main Takeaways from this Convo with Randi Rubenstein

This conversation with Randi Rubenstein, parent coach and dear friend, was part reflection, part Internal Family Systems parts processing, and part celebration. Randi has been on the podcast several times before—talking about Pack Leadership and play—and in this episode, we explored what it looks like to bring that same grounded, confident leadership into creative expression and business.

Main Takeaways

🎭 Creativity and play are pathways to reclaiming confidence and self-trust.
🌿 Our protector parts can soften when they sense safety, allowing joy to surface.
💫 Embodiment—feeling fully alive in our bodies—is not frivolous; it’s sacred.
🧭 True leadership (in parenting, work, or art) begins with self-connection and curiosity.
🔥 Aliveness is contagious—when we allow ourselves to shine, we invite others to do the same.

Final Reflection

Whether through dance, writing, therapy, or entrepreneurship — we all have breadcrumbs to follow. They might feel small, awkward, or even scary. But when we keep saying yes, step by step, they can lead us back to aliveness.

And that’s the work I want for myself, for my clients, and for you.

Disclaimer:
This blog and podcast are for informational and educational purposes only. They do not constitute medical or mental health advice and are not a substitute for professional consultation or treatment.

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