Episode 160: Work that gives back: Reciprocity is the missing ingredient to work that actually feels good with Dr. Lauren Silverstein

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There are some conversations that feel like they braid together multiple parts of my work at once.

This was one of those conversations. I legit listened to it three times already.

As a therapist, I care deeply about healing, autonomy, and helping people reconnect with what is already wise and alive inside of them. As a business owner and community builder, I also think a lot about impact, leadership, reciprocity, and what it actually looks like to build things that help without unintentionally causing harm.

In this episode of The Innovative Therapist Podcast, I sat down with my friend Dr. Lauren Silverstein, founder and CEO of Rising Kitchens, to talk about reciprocity, social impact, equity, and what it means to create work, programs, and communities that allow people to truly shine.

This conversation felt especially meaningful to me because it connects so deeply to what I care about inside The Innovative Therapist: helping therapists, helpers, and creative humans use their gifts in ways that are life-giving, responsible, and deeply aligned.

And frankly, it gave me some cool ideas about how I might build my business moving forward.

Listen to the Episode

In this episode, Lauren and I explore:

what reciprocity really means
why good intentions are not always enough
how impact should be defined before we jump into action
why it matters who gets to sit at the table when we define success
how therapists, leaders, educators, and founders can move away from one-directional helping models
what happens when people are supported to use their gifts in ways that benefit everyone

About Dr. Lauren Silverstein

Dr. Lauren Silverstein is the founder and CEO of Rising Kitchens, a platform connecting emerging food entrepreneurs—especially immigrant and women chefs—with real economic opportunity. With a background in social impact strategy and a deep belief in community, she’s building Rising Kitchens into a bridge between local talent and the institutions that need them.

A former Chief Impact Officer with a Ph.D. in Education Leadership, Lauren is wired to initiate big ideas, build what doesn’t exist, and push systems to do better. Her work—whether designing impact strategies or creating curriculum for future educators and entrepreneurs—centers on one powerful question:

How do we generate equity by unlocking the potential already around us?

A Quote That Anchored This Conversation

Early in the episode, I shared a quote that has been resonating deeply with me and with members of the Inspired Innovators community:

“If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” – Dr. Lilla Watson, Educator, Activist

Rethinking the “Helper” Role

One of the most powerful threads in this conversation was the idea that the traditional “helper” model can sometimes do more harm than good.

Lauren shared how early in her career she began questioning something many of us take for granted: the assumption that helping is always helpful.

As she worked with mentoring programs and education initiatives, she started noticing something important. When someone enters a relationship believing they are the one who has the knowledge, the answers, or the solutions, it can unintentionally create a power dynamic that disempowers the very people they’re trying to support.

That realization led her to study mentoring programs more deeply in her doctoral research. She wanted to understand whether good intentions alone were enough, or whether certain mindsets and structures were needed to ensure that programs actually helped people rather than unintentionally causing harm.

It’s a question that applies far beyond education.

It applies to therapy.
It applies to leadership.
It applies to entrepreneurship and social impact work.

As therapists, many of us were trained in models that positioned us as the expert in the room. But increasingly, many approaches to therapy (including Internal Family Systems, which I often use) are shifting toward co-creative models that honor the wisdom already inside the client.

Instead of “fixing” someone, the work becomes about creating the conditions where people can reconnect with their own inner leadership.

The Missing Step: Defining Impact First

Another insight Lauren shared that really stuck with me was this:

Many people jump straight to actions and strategies without first defining the impact they want to have.

For example, someone might start a program, a mentorship initiative, or even a business because they want to help. But if we don’t define the outcome we’re hoping for, it becomes difficult to know whether what we’re doing is actually working.

Lauren described three levels of thinking about impact:

1. How much
How many clients did you see?
How many programs did you run?

2. How well
Did the experience actually work?
Did people want to come back?

3. Who is better off
Did someone’s life actually change?
Did behavior, confidence, or opportunity shift?

That final question is where real impact lives.

And it’s one that can be harder to measure.

Reciprocity vs. One-Directional Helping

The heart of our conversation centered around the idea of reciprocity.

In many traditional helping roles, the relationship flows in one direction:

One person gives.
The other receives.

But reciprocal relationships look different.

They recognize that everyone at the table has something to offer and something to learn.

Lauren shared a story from a class she was teaching about entrepreneurship. A student asked a question about starting a business without prior experience. Lauren realized that another student in the room had actually built a successful company before.

Instead of immediately offering her own answer, she paused and invited that student to share.

The result?

A powerful exchange where:

one student received practical advice
another student felt valued and recognized
the entire group benefited from shared knowledge

That’s reciprocity.

And it requires humility.

It asks leaders, teachers, therapists, and founders to release the idea that they must be the only source of wisdom in the room.

The Power of Unlocking Talent

Lauren’s work with Rising Kitchens is built around this principle.

She connects talented chefs—many of whom are immigrant women or individuals who lack access to traditional networks—with real economic opportunity.

Her model recognizes two barriers many talented people face:

Insufficient financial capital
They don’t have the money to take risks or start a business.

Insufficient social capital
They don’t have the networks that open doors.

By connecting talent with opportunity, Lauren helps unlock potential that might otherwise remain unseen.

And when that happens, everyone benefits.

Customers get incredible food.
Chefs get economic opportunity.
Communities gain access to creativity and culture.

It’s a true win-win model.

Why This Matters for Therapists

As Lauren and I talked, I couldn’t help but see parallels with the therapy world.

I know so many therapists who are brilliant, creative, compassionate humans.

And yet many of them feel stifled inside rigid systems.

They have talents that aren’t being used.

Ideas that aren’t being shared.

Gifts that the world genuinely needs.

When that potential stays locked inside traditional structures, everyone loses.

But when therapists start exploring their Zone of Genius, new possibilities emerge.

New offerings.
New partnerships.
New forms of healing.

And often, those ideas come alive through community.

When Everyone Gets to Shine

One of the most beautiful parts of our conversation was the reminder that people naturally want to shine.

When we create environments where people feel safe sharing their gifts, something powerful happens.

Lauren described moments when students or young apprentices suddenly realize:

Wait… I have something to teach.

That shif...