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The JOY Broadcast
Dressing for Joy (and Why Well-Dressed Is a State of Mind) with Dahlia Stroud
00:32:49
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- [00:02]
A
Welcome to the Joy Broadcast. I'm Ali Mortimer, joy coach, mentor, and life confidant, and I'm here to tell you something that might surprise you. Joy is not fluffy. Joy isn't frivolous. Joy is not the reward you get after you've ticked all the boxes. Joy is the only strategy you will ever need. It's your competitive edge, your antidote, and your super attractor. It's the power that creates miracles and makes life feel like magic. In my life, joy is the acronym for just on you. Because you matter. Your joy matters, your life matters, and it's time to act like it. Whether you're in the dark with nothing or at the top with everything, and it's feeling so overwhelming, joy is always the answer. Joy is a strategy for every era of your life. And this podcast is the space for women in the boardroom, in business, and those women who are running the show at home. This is your reminder to choose Joy not as a reward, but the strategy that gives you your competitive edge, the energy that will expand to give you the capacity to hold everyone and everything. Now, before we begin today's broadcast, I have an invitation for you. If you would like to go deeper to prioritize your joy, come and join me in the Joy Rebellion. It's my membership where I invite you to align to Joy every single week and where I support you in clearing the path when it's hard. Or work with me in Brilliance, my mentorship for women who want to bring brilliance to the boardroom because they feel fabulous in the bedroom and in their body. But right now and every week on this podcast, I going to be bringing you the ideas, the stories, and the strategies to make Joy your lifestyle, your strategy, your North Star. This is the Joy Broadcast. Let's go. Welcome back to the Joy Broadcast. Today, I have invited a wonderful guest onto the podcast. And I'll be really honest, it was really the title of her podcast that attracted me to her. And I know that what we're going to talk about is going to be really attractive for. For all of you. It's also going to be a really wonderful listen. What I also think was so interesting was when I looked at her profile on LinkedIn, I realized that we had actually worked together in the past, and I thought, well, that's interesting, because I was thinking that I did recognize her face. Everybody, I would love to welcome Dahlia Stroud from Stressed and Wet. Oh, no, I can't even say it. Stressed and well dressed. Greep and podcast. Dahlia, welcome. Welcome to the Joy broadcast.
- [02:19]
B
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. And. Yeah, I know, it's so strange, isn't it? These things, like, move in circles, don't they? But, you know, we work together best part of probably 15 years ago and now, like on a show together.
- [02:30]
A
I know, 10 years on and we've both had, I suppose, a bit of a roller coaster and lots of plot twists and ups and downs and redirections. In the last decade that we worked together in ASDA House, that big green building in Leeds, a lot has happened. So let's go all the way back. I think when I asked you just before we came on, you said you found joy after a really shit time. Would you like to go there? Because I think that was probably the birthplace of where you are now, isn't it?
- [02:55]
B
Yeah, yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Okay. So I. So obviously we worked together at asda and I always worked in retail and I was probably like a lot of the women listening kind of type A personality, super ambitious, super high achiever, perfectionist. Everything needed to be great. And for a long time I was really fortunate that everything was great. So. So had one great job that just kind of seemed moved into another great job and climbing. What I thought I wanted to do, which was a corporate ladder, had the big job that is like the one that you're proud of when you're in the playground and you can be super smug about what you do. I do this. This is my title. I loved my job as well. It wasn't like I loved a lot of my job, not all of it. I think no one ever loves 100% of your job. You're super, super fortunate if you do. But I'd got to a certain level in my career where I had a really great job, was doing really well, and then overnight I got made redundant and it was literally like a you're here one day, gone the next type thing. And I think when you get to a certain level of seniority and women who are listening to this who worked in big organisations, someone said to me, you know, the trigger or the gun is always loaded. It's just a case of when someone pulls the trigger on you. And I think that's true. And, you know, I'd seen so many people been made redundant over time, but I think when it happens to you, it just hits differently. So I left what was a big career overnight and I felt, I guess, like I'd really, really lost my purpose. So I didn't immediately go into another job and Part of it was that, to be honest, I didn't really know what I wanted to do next at that time because it was something that was so out of my control and it was something that I needed to get my head around as well. And what I always say is when you have a career, if you have a career where you have trained to be something like a doctor or a lawyer or. Or an accountant, whether you are practicing that or not, that is who you are. But when you have a career that is like head of commercial or something like that, which I was. When you're not it, you're literally not it, you know, you're not a non practicing head of commercial, you just don't. So I really. Well, actually, who am I and what do I do now? And I felt like I'd had a real profile in the industry I've worked in. Whether I had or not was another thing. But that was how I felt.
- [05:11]
A
You felt it? Yeah.
- [05:12]
B
And then suddenly I felt like I had no voice. And I'd been leading a buying team, remember? So when you are a buyer, people want to speak to you because you have the power to buy stuff from them. And suddenly the phone stopped ringing because I wasn't in that position of power. And it just felt, oh, so quiet. And it was really, really tough. And I'd never really struggled with confidence. It had always come quite naturally to me to feel confident, to be a leader, to lead teams, and my confidence was on the floor. So I just, just couldn't get it back up. And I just felt like there has to be a way for me to make my mark in the world. And I also felt like I needed to be really open and honest about how I felt about redundancy as well. Because so many people had said to me, a redundancy is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I'll be honest, for me, it wasn't. It was probably the worst thing that happened to me in my career at that point. So I kind of felt like I had. And I'd love clothes, I'd love fashion, actually just done a master's degree. So I had all this stuff and I felt like I was all dressed up with nowhere to go. That's how I would describe it. I felt this energy to extend and nowhere to kind of no outlet to use it. So I thought, well, I have to make my own thing. So I thought, oh, I know, I'll do a podcast. That'll be fun. So I had this idea of stressed but well dressed, which was how I felt. And I recorded a podcast, actually, with a school mum. So it was a friend who. She's another school mom. She's a photographer. She's been Miss Miss Great Britain. She's done pageants. She was Barbie. She had the most phenomenal story. And she was the first podcast guest I did. And she joined me on the podcast and I made this podcast. And she said, when are you going to post it? And I said, oh, my God, now I actually have to post it. Because the only thing more mortifying than asking her to record a podcast with me would be admitting that I was now too embarrassed to actually tell people publish it. So I published it. And then. And then I realized, got the bug from that, that actually this was something I really enjoyed. Did another one and did another one, and then stress. But well dressed has grown from that and a few things have happened. So the first one is from a personal perspective, putting it out there was really hard because I really felt like people might judge me on the fact that, you know, I had been as head of commercial. So who am I to to do a podcast? And I had to get over that pretty quickly. But two other things happened. It opened up a huge amount of conversations with people about the link between clothes, confidence, and mindset, and actually, can you be stressed but well dressed at the same time? And I never expected the amount of conversations to come in that have about how people feel about getting dressed in clothes and how they use them in different ways. And obviously we can talk about some of that in the show.
- [07:53]
A
Yeah.
- [07:54]
B
Other thing I realized was that once I'd got over the incredibly high barrier of cringe, which was putting myself out there, actually, the confidence doing the show gave me took me from feeling stressed to feeling well dressed. So it actually built back my confidence doing this. And it was a bit of a journey. And obviously other things happened. I built back my work. You know, I've had some really, really brilliant work experiences and situations in the last couple of years separate to the podcast in my commercial world. And. But definitely, like, the podcast has been a supporting act in some ways and really building my confidence and helping me realize that I've got value that I can share with the world. And adding value to other people is so rewarding and getting the feedback back. I'm sure you'll feel the same, Ali, when someone messages you love that episode or that spoke to me or changed something because I listened to your show. So that meaningful impact has been massive.
- [08:49]
A
Yeah, it was so interesting you say that yesterday I had a really dear old friend messaged me and she said, I've just listened to the Rock the Boat podcast and she said, it's time. She's been creating this incredible skincare and she just said, it's time for me to go for it. And you've made me realize that the time is now for me to rock the boat and start playing safe. And I was like, those are the conversations that I'm just like, oh, I'm so pleased. And I totally get what you say. That from cringe to confidence, it's this like, oh, everyone starts with this, oh my gosh, cringe worthy feeling. And I know that feeling so well, especially because my sons now are like 18 and 17 and they're like, oh, my God, mom, you're so embarrassing. You're cringing. Someone's just sent me a photograph of you dancing on the Internet. And I'm like, oh, do you know what? If they make me feel embarrassed, I feel like, well, if I can handle my sons ribbing and teasing me and then my husband joining me in kind of like the kitchen, when they all have a go at me, making me feel embarrassed, I'm like, if I can handle that, do you know what? I'll handle whatever anyone says to me on the Internet, if I can handle them or handle anything. That has really brought that confidence back in for me. And I love what you said there. My favorite word is and. And I love what you said again, just to replay back again that whole feeling of can I be stressed and well dressed at the same time? Yes, I can. And actually it's not either or. I think so many women can feel that. I know that I personally use fashion and my clothes to help create a sense of confidence within me. And I don't know whether you were there, Dalia, do you ever remember? It was. I was definitely at ASDA because it was Judith McKenna. Do you remember Judith McKenna? I think she was.
- [10:36]
B
She was the chief operating officer for ASDA and then went on to Walmart, didn't she? She really.
- [10:40]
A
That's right. And she was CEO at the time. And I remember being in a big audience. I don't know if you were there, but she was doing her keynote speech and she was wearing sparkly boots. Were you there? And she talked about her sparkly boots. And I remember thinking, I want to be just like her when I grow up and I want to be on stages. But the thing that I remember now, when I come on to do talks, like last week, I was doing a keynote speech. I've Always remembered, wear something fabulous because it's the conversation starter for many people to come up and speak to you. They might not necessarily come up and speak to you about what you were talking about, but they will always come over to you and say, I loved your boots, or I loved your shirt, or I love, love, love something. For women, it's a real conversation starter and a connection. And I think that then can also go back to some of the topics of conversation around confidence, connection, mindset, women, all of this collaboration.
- [11:38]
B
Yeah, I. I totally agree. And it's funny, you talk about these sparkly boots and then the reaction that you had, which is, I want to be on stages like her. I had someone brilliant on my podcast a few weeks ago called Richard Pasco, and he talks about what to wear to present.
- [11:52]
A
Is he the grandpa somebody? Grandpa. He called himself the something grandpa. Was that it?
- [11:56]
B
Yes. He's a grandfather.
- [11:58]
A
Yes.
- [11:58]
B
I listened to that episode, Grandfather presenting, and what he said was that if you want to get on stage and change people's opinion, you have to dress a bit maverick. So if you want to get on stage and bring people together alongside you and put your arms around them, dress like them, and generate belonging, and we've all been in those situations where someone's stealing a difficult message, maybe in a corporate world, you know, there's no bonus this year or whatever it is, so I'm going to look like you when I say it. Because if I'm wearing a flash suit and a Rolex, I'm telling you, there's no bonus that doesn't sit right. But if I want to change your thinking, if I want to get on stage and I want to be what he describes as maverick, I'm going wear something a little bit maverick. And I thought, wow, actually, that is such a simple thing. But it's. It's not even dressing for your own confidence. It's dressing to present a certain message to people.
- [12:43]
A
Oh, I love that. I didn't know that I was doing that, but last week, that's exactly what I was doing. My message of, you know, joy isn't fluff, it's fucking physics. It was like, that's quite maverick for many people to try and get their head round. And I wrote that because my husband didn't understand why I was talking about Joy. My sister didn't really understand why I was talking about Joy. They were just like, you know, they're all. But honestly, my biggest critics. But it was more. I'm grateful to them for being that. Because I'm like, You're giving me the reason of. How can I. If I can explain it to you, if I can help you understand, I can make people also understand this. So my white sparkly suit last week was really. I've got to be a bit flashy, I've got to be a bit bold. The white was because I want to be this kind of like lessons in chemistry type white suit, but let's make it a little bit radical. What an amazing message for people to hear.
- [13:32]
B
Yeah, agree, agree. Do you know what? And it's made me think a lot about when you are trying to inspire someone, how not just how do you kind of build your own confidence, but how do you want to be perceived in that space?
- [13:45]
A
Talk to me a little bit more about the fact that you felt like you lost your identity. I loved what you were talking about, and I think it will resonate with so many women who aren't doctors, who aren't lawyers, who don't have that kind of, like, qualification to go, oh, my God, who. Because I felt that as well. When I left corporate, it was the same as you and I left asda. It's like, who on earth am I now? I've been a professional my life, but now I'm not. Talk to me about what happened then.
- [14:12]
B
It was really strange. And I had busy days, but my days were definitely lacking purpose. So it wasn't that I couldn't fill my time. And I was kind of rolling around the house, I think I didn't work for maybe three, four months. And, you know, I never watch daytime TV once. If you do, that's totally fine. It was. It's just not something I was used to doing. So I was busy, but I was busy doing things that weren't necessarily fulfilling or rewarding me in the right way. And I think without that sense of purpose, it's really difficult to work out who you are. And I used to. Actually, this is. This is probably like, very personal to share and quite embarrassing. But I used to look at everyone I saw around me who was doing work and feeling like they had a purpose. I didn't. So the postman, like builders on a building site, like, you know, neither of those jobs do I particularly want to do, but I was like, they know what they're doing. They've got something to get up for today. And I'm just kind of rambling and, you know, busying myself, but not necessarily with any kind of sense of real accomplishment or achievement on the other side of it. And for me, that. That was really hard And I think, you know, when you're used to being non stop and then you are stop or you are kind of go at your own pace, it can be really hard to remain motivated. And to me, the biggest thing, if I'm honest, was I love human connection. So I love conversations. I love like, you know, bouncing ideas off of different people, that kind of intellectual simulation that you get from a challenge often in the workplace. And I missed people calling me and asking for my opinion on something. And remember before that I'd had a team of plus 30 people who would be calling me all the time. And sometimes, you know, having a team of people who work for you is like having 30 extra children.
- [16:06]
A
Yes. And worse.
- [16:07]
B
Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I think being needed and then suddenly not being needed was really hard to get on board with. And then even tougher than that is that you start to need them, but they've moved on, they're getting on with their life, they've got stuff to do and you don't. So you can't still be involved because you don't have a role, you don't have a new role or energy to put your purpose kind of into. And you, you don't really know who you are. And someone described it to me incredibly well. And I did a podcast episode about redundancy and we talked about this and they said, you know, when you're made redundant, you are on a boat with a paddle, and all you want to do is paddle back to shore, which was the place you were working at before, and scream and make a fuss and be back there and understand why and all those things. Because the scarier thing is picking up your paddle and understanding which direction you go in now. But that is where you need to put your focus. And for me, I really, really resonated with that. And I felt like I was on a boat, but I didn't know that was probably spinning around.
- [17:09]
A
I was going to say, you're going round and round in circles.
- [17:12]
B
Yeah, I was probably. Rudderless is the word, isn't it? And I think whatever you do, you know, whether you are in a big corporate job or, you know, building your own business or running a household, you know, as long as you know where you get your purpose from, you can start to build your identity. But until you've worked out that, it's really hard.
- [17:34]
A
Agreed. Something you said. The quietness is deafening, isn't it, like, and it's so sudden. I remember being walked out of Asda house. I'd. I'd found out how much My male counterparts were being paid at the same level as me, and it was a lot, lot less. And I was really unhappy. And I went and I spoke to them and I said, you know, I don't think this is right. And they said, oh, well, you've got two children, so you probably can't quite keep up with the men. And I was like, okay, I'm leaving. And they were like, what do you mean you're leaving? And I said, well, I've got lots of contacts from my old consulting days. I think I'll probably just go and work for them. You know, they're at ms, they're at Tesco, and that's what I'm going to do. Anyway, I started to walk out, and I remember walking down the corridor and I remember two men running after me saying, you need to leave and you need to leave now. I was like, why? And they were like, well, you've got all of our secrets in dot com and E commerce, and we don't want you to take anything with you. And I remember feeling that, just like you, the team that was always busy, the conversations, the camaraderie, the. The connection, the vision of what we were trying to create at the time, which was this huge system with ASDA and Walmart, and then to go suddenly and sit in my garden with the dog, I was like, I have no idea what I meant to do. And like you say, I was in. I wanted to go back to that island because I believed in what we were building at the time, and I wasn't going to be there to be part of it. And there's. There's an element of grieving. I think that happens when. That happens, when you're made redundant. And interestingly, I was talking. I was walking with a friend yesterday, and she's left her role. She was made redundant. And she said she still feels like she has PTSD from the way it was done and how it was handled. And I think there's so much shame and so much stigma around redundancy as well. And, you know, you want to hide away as well, don't you? You don't want people to know because it's almost like this, well, you weren't good enough to stay, and it's like, that's not true at all.
- [19:29]
B
Do you know what? I really tried once. I built my confidence and it took me. So I started the podcast in September, October time, and by March, I was ready to publish the episode which I really wanted to publish from the beginning, which was called All Dressed Up. And nowhere to go, which was about redundancy. And once I talked about it and kind of took away the stigma, literally, the floodgates opened. And so many people contacted me under the radar and said, I'm not ready to talk about mine, but thank you for talking about yours. Because I also think in a big corporate organization, if you haven't been made redundant at any point, have you tried at all, have you challenged, have you put your head above the parapet? Have you rocked the boat.
- [20:16]
A
Exactly.
- [20:17]
B
Have you rocked the boat? And that doesn't mean like, oh, you, you know, you have to be made redundant to be a change maker. But I think it often means that, you know, you get to a point in your. In an organization where I think, particularly as women, you are this, this kind of change maker or this catalyst or this energy, and people celebrate it and celebrate it and celebrate it until you get in one room with one person and they're like, that makes me uncomfortable. And that's not okay. And I think I've seen that happen to so many people.
- [20:44]
A
Yeah, very, very true. And I think many women can resonate, and I definitely feel, feel that as well. I also hugely believe in the same thing that you do. When I ask myself, you know, what does joy mean to me? What does happiness? Actually, it started with happiness. And happiness to me, when I had none, when I was, when I had my own clinical depression diagnosis, it was. Happiness to me is a sense of contentment, but it's also excited for something that's coming. And I didn't feel like I had that second piece because what I thought my future was going to be was no longer. And it was like, well, I don't know where I'm going. I was that in that boat, just like bobbing, like, having no direction, not really sure what was going to happen. So then when I kind of like amplified it and I started talking about joy, it was like, well, joy is different from happiness, so how is it different? And joy to me was just like thinking about, well, what is the recipe for joy? The recipe for joy is peace of mind, it's health of your body, it's love for your life. It's having a big dream that you're going after and it's allowing a little bit of magic in. It was kind of like all of those elements all in. So fundamentally what we're saying here is you can have all of those wonderful things going on in your life, but if you have nothing that you are building or trying to create, and happiness comes from progress. It's that sense of achievement. It's that dopamine hit of, oh, I did that today. I created that today. I've done this today. And it's taking me towards where I want to go. I think that is super important for anyone, whatever situation they're in, whether they've been made redundant or they've left a job or whether they're deciding to go, it's like, where am I headed?
- [22:18]
B
Yeah.
- [22:18]
A
Do you know what?
- [22:19]
B
I had someone who I interviewed for podcast called Sylvia Garcia. So she had a great job. She was the happiness director or the director of the Institute of Happiness for Coca Cola.
- [22:31]
A
Amazing.
- [22:31]
B
What a job. I know. What a job. And she said to me, and I hadn't really thought about this before, the opposite of happiness isn't sadness, it's hopelessness. So when you stop being hopeful, it's really difficult to feel happy about something. And that. That really spoke to me. And I often come back to that if I'm having a tough day or if there's something feels a bit hard. So actually, you are allowed. No one's saying, you know, you're not allowed to be sad. But I think there's a watch out. When you stop having something in your world to feel hopeful about, and it's reminding yourself that we don't know what's coming next, but if we can feel hopeful about it or if we can find ways to feel hopeful, then actually there's a huge amount of power in that. And it all comes back to clothes for me, all the time.
- [23:20]
A
So, yeah, bring it back to fashion. Let's go back to fashion.
- [23:23]
B
Let's bring it back to fashion. I think what it says to me from a fashion perspective is dressing with opportunity in mind. So dressing for optimism. And I don't think that means dopamine dressing. I think it means dressing with the belief that something good can happen that day. And I always laugh because it's like, you know, you should always have nice underwear on in case you're in an accident and you get stripped down by the paramedics. But that's. That's not something good that would happen that day. But I. I was talking to someone, my most recent episode of the podcast, who, unfortunately, her child was very unwell for a period of time, and she was in Great Ormond Street Hospital for some six months, and she wore the same thing every day. And when you're in hospital, time stands still and you are trapped in the confines of kind of the situation you're in, but actually wearing the same thing every day Compounded the fact that there was no progress for her, you know, it made it even more like Groundhog Day. And the minute that she started to change up what she wore, like, thank God her son was getting better. So there was hope at that time. And she almost symbolized in her head that things were moving as well. So she wasn't just the same leggings and the same top every day and I'm in the same situation. She was like, I guess putting a light switch on the head that things will change. And I think if you can allow yourself to dress believing there's an opportunity in your day, then actually it can be part of what I describe as a well dressed mindset, which is so much more about fashion or so much less about fashion and so much more about well dressed as a state of mind rather than a fashion statement. And I think I've really pushed myself to say actually every single day, how can I dress for opportunity? Or how can I dress for optimism? And how does that habit that I'm creating for myself then flow into my behavior and my actions?
- [25:10]
A
Oh my goodness, what a powerful statement. A well dressed mindset. Dress for opportunity. I always remember my mum saying, always be the best dressed person in the room, always. And my boys laugh because I always, whenever we go, go to school, I always wear a hat because my mum always used to wear a hat when she used to come to school for school events for us. My mum was only 5 foot so you couldn't see her. So she wore a hat so that we could see her coming in. And I kind of like continued that, that tradition. But to me wearing a hat is almost like this status symbol of they're going to see me, I'm visible, I'm here. I, I also love her. Like what you also said around, you know, dressing for opportunity, dress for the, the best case opportunity. That could absolutely happen because you've already then put yourself into that positive state of mind. Because I say so many times, your mind is your greatest asset. It's either going to you up or it can fire you the up. And if you're dressing, it's firing you up to see, say, do you know what? I am focusing on the best case outcome rather than where often as Brits and we're underdogs, we, we have this tendency to slip into, oh, but what if, what if something bad happens? It's like, no, I'm choosing to focus on what the best is. And your clothes can make you, you feel that from the outside in.
- [26:33]
B
Yeah. And I just want to give another example of that, that I think a lot when you having a night. So you say you're going out and it's someone's birthday and you aren't that bothered to go because it's January and it's freezing, or someone's party that you're not that close to, and you're like, oh, I'm only going to go three hours, or I'm not going to make that much of an effort, or whatever it is. And then you get there and you're like, should have worn the dress or should have made more of an effort, or, actually, I wish I'd have done this. And I think when you. When you dress with that mindset, you're in the mindset of, I'm not really going to enjoy this. I don't want to be here, and I'm two hours, and then I'm done. But when you dress for the party, you bring the party as well, and a lot of people will resonate with that.
- [27:12]
A
Yeah. I dressed as a pineapple because I was like, oh, I hate New Year. I'm just like, oh, God, I'm so ready to go to bed. But it was like, okay, well, we're gonna go. And it was Caribbean, so I was like, right, let me get dressed as a pineapple so I can just, like, bring the fun to the party. Yeah, I love. I love everything you say. Dalia, what's your vision next? Then let's go to what are you building? What is your purpose? What is your vision? Where are you finding your hope, fulfillment, and purpose today?
- [27:38]
B
Oh, my gosh. That's. It's a really good question because, you know, it's something that I've been pondering on a little bit, even just kind of over the last 12 hours. And. And I had. I will admit, I was like, oh, my gosh. I'm going on a podcast about joy this morning, and I don't feel both joyous. So I went for a walk this morning. I got a coffee I stuck on. I think I had Rhythm of the Dancer. I had Fat boy slaying.
- [27:59]
A
A true 80s girl.
- [28:00]
B
Yeah. All of it this morning, like, blasting in my headphones. I even had a bit of Garage Artful Dodger, because I was like, I need. I need. I need to put myself up before this podcast. And it did work. But I think for me, there's a lot of things that I'm working on at the moment. So obviously, my kind of bread and butter is consultancy work and commercial consultancy. But I also have this podcast dressed, but well dressed. And for me, the opportunity is to build a community of people who are aligned to the view that well dressed is, as I said, a state of mind rather than a fashion statement. And through the work that I've done, through the conversations that I have, I'm unlocking the opportunity for them to give themselves permission to feel well dressed every morning, to tell themselves that today I'm going to allow myself to feel well dressed, even if I'm at home, even if I'm walking the dog all day, I'm going to do it in something that makes me feel good. I'm going to give myself that permission because that becomes a habit. And as I said, then that translates into actions. It changes the way we feel. And we talk a lot as women about needing to be more confident. But how do you do it? How do you build that inner confidence? Well, it comes from, for me, giving yourself that permission to feel well dressed and then letting that translate into your behavior. If it makes you stand a bit taller, if it makes you feel a bit bolder, if it puts a smile on your face, all of those things are ways that you can, in tiny increments, build your confidence so that when you walk into whatever room you're walking into, whether it's a coffee shop, whether it's a boardroom, whether it's the school playground, that's the most toxic by the way you feel good about yourself because you've allowed yourself to have that well dressed mindset. So if I can build that and if I can encourage, encourage more people to feel like that, then in some ways my work is done.
- [29:38]
A
Yeah. What a beautiful purpose. I think you're onto something. I, I do believe that the way that we adorn ourselves in what we were is the first act of self love, self care and self worth that we can give ourselves in the morning. If you're literally just getting up and putting on a pair of slippers and the leggings with holes in, you're just kind of saying, I don't matter. Whereas if you actually put on your, I mean, I always wear matching underwear precisely for the reason that you explained. If I'm in an accident, I don't want to. For someone to think, oh, she's got terrible knickers on. So it is that. It is that, first of, I respect myself enough to, to wear some beautiful underwear and you know, I don't always get dressed up super smart, but it's just like I'm wearing nice leggings that if it's got holes in, it's going in the bin. If it's got holy sock, it's going in the bin. Because I love and respect myself enough to actually look after myself. And it's, it's the same with, like, my boys and the way we look after our children. You know, we make sure that they're going to eat the best foods. I mean, how many of us pureed organic vegetables when they were babies? And then that yet that we would eat crap? It's just like, it's the same with the dressing. It's like, I'm going to make them look good. Why don't we do that for ourselves? And it's that first act of I matter, which ultimately comes back to my message, which is all about joy, which, yes, is the feeling, but it's also an acronym for just on you. Which is what I, I said to you this morning was like, okay, you might not necessarily be feeling particularly joyous, but you did acts for yourself just on you. You put the music on, you danced, you put your lovely sweater on, and it was just an act of right. I'm bringing myself back to me because I matter in this life, and this is what I'm doing. This is my purpose. This is what I'm going to create. So thank you. Thank you for sharing your vision. I love it. And if there's any way that we can help do that, then how can people come in and find you? Dalia, what else would you like my audience to know about you?
- [31:34]
B
Okay, so obviously you can follow the podcast wherever you get your podcast. It's out every Friday. You just search Stressed but well dressed on any platform. You get your podcasts. And I always go behind the scenes on Instagram. Do lots of polls, share people's feedback on how they felt well dressed or how they felt stressed but well dressed in the day. We get some good ones. And that's at Stressed but well Dressed Underscore podcast. Or you can find me on LinkedIn. As Dahlia Stroud, I always love to meet new people.
- [31:59]
A
I will put everything in the show notes. Dahlia, it's been so lovely to reconnect. Been really, really lovely.
- [32:06]
B
Thank you for having me.
- [32:08]
A
My mission is to spread love, joy, peace and abundance to as much of the world as I possibly can so that every person knows that they don't have to walk alone in their darkness. So if you've enjoyed today's podcast and this episode, I'll be so honored and happy if you would support my mission and share this with your network, your friends and your family. Please feel free to leave me an honest review on Apple or Spotify. And until next time, remember, the ripple of joy starts with you.