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- [00:01]
A
Welcome to the Joy Broadcast with me, Ali Mortimer. I was once upon a time an IT consultant, recoding systems in the retail industry to function better. And now I'm turned a life consultant and joy coach where I'd like to think I reprogram and recode hearts, minds, souls and lives to feel better. This podcast, the Joy Broadcast, is a way to bring joy to your life, whatever the weather, whatever you're doing. So you feel a pocket or of positivity in every single day. If, like me, you've once upon a time found yourself wondering whether you will ever be happy again or if you're just staring at the kitchen sink wondering how you'll get through the next 10 minutes, this podcast is for you. Get you a glimmer of hope, a dose of happiness, or an infusion of joy right here, right now. Welcome to the Joy Broadcast. Welcome back to the Joy Broadcast. I am delighted to introduce my guest today. She is someone who I've known for a really, really long time. She has. You know, I don't even remember the first time I met her, but I do know that during lockdown and during some of my darkest times preceding lockdown, she was always there, cheerleading, championing with a kind word on any of my posts or any of my blog posts. When I was writing the ali sandwiches between 2015 and 2018, her kindness was consistent, her compassion and love, and I felt it. So when everything opened up after lockdown and we were able to start meeting up in person, I was always delighted to see the friendly face of Eleanor whenever I was speaking or whenever she was speaking, wherever we were. It was just wonderful. And we do have a fondness for cake and a moan. And I thought it would be just wonderful to invite her onto the Joy Broadcast so that you can join in our cake and conversations. And we will discuss everything from the teenagers that we have in our house that have meant that we've had to start recording this a couple of times. From being able to talk about the entrepreneurial spirit that we both have, the talent that she has for incredible interiors, the advocate that she is for other female founders through her work through LIFT Adventures, and all the while going through her own personal health issues and finding different remedies along the way, I'm so delighted to welcome to the Joy Broadcast, Eleanor Goddard.
- [02:33]
B
Oh, thanks, Sally.
- [02:35]
A
I wish we had cake. I don't have cake.
- [02:37]
B
Where's the cake? I didn't read that that was going to happen or I'd have been merrily sat stuffing my face.
- [02:42]
A
Well, that was the Last time we saw each other, wasn't it? We were sat in Reading park maybe about a month ago at an event. Which one was it? I can't remember. It was a financial one, run by a company in, wasn't it? And we saw the cake stand and we sat at the back and we just decided to have a cake in a moan. And it was just cathartic, wasn't it?
- [03:01]
B
It was just exactly what I needed at that moment in time. Both the cake and the moan.
- [03:07]
A
I know, exactly. And, you know, I think one of the reasons why I wanted you to come on the Joy Broadcast is because you always have such sage advice and just a calm manner about you. And I think when I asked you to come onto the Joy Broadcast in the Festive series, you were like, oh, no, I've got such a bar humbug mentality around. Around Christmas.
- [03:26]
B
I thought, perfect.
- [03:27]
A
Because I bet that there are going to be lots of my listeners who probably feel the same way.
- [03:31]
B
Oh, dear me. Yeah, I think. I don't know why. Well, I do know why and I did share this with you before that. It's. It's to do with the fact that it's always been quite a difficult time for me because my dad sadly passed away between Christmas and New Year. And I think as well, I'm one of those people that doesn't like it when it starts going dark. And I'm having to really sort of try to learn to love winter a bit more. And I just find the sort of pressure as you run up to Christmas, it's just so hard to manage. And my health always tends to really respond to the whole stress going on. And I'm sure, particularly for women, it is just such a stressful time and I've just never really enjoyed it. So, yeah, I am unapologetically bar humbug. And then I add into that having a business which is all focused around everything, everybody wanting to. To have their homes and their projects done by Christmas, it's just so stressful. And, yeah, I don't enjoy it. And every year I say it never again. It just makes me giggle because you know what?
- [04:32]
A
Sometimes everybody puts on such a front to enjoy it when really everybody just wants to say what you've just said.
- [04:37]
B
Yes, it's so hard. We've actually got to go away. Well, we aren't actually going away on Christmas Day. We're going away between Christmas on Boxing day and the 29th, just because I just want to get from it at all. We're going to Krakow. So I know it will be all very festive and very beautiful but it, the pressure isn't on me to provide the beautiful meals, the beautiful experiences. It means every, all of our family, my kids can't escape us. They're going to be locked in as well, a foreign country with us. So, yeah, I've got high expectations for this Christmas, but it's Christmas done different this year, so.
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A
Oh, I love that. I think sometimes that can be just so. Well, what do they say? A change is as good as a rest, isn't it? Absolutely. Go and do something differently, I think.
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B
Just break the mold and go on adventure. Yeah, absolutely.
- [05:24]
A
You touched on quite a few things then. Let's talk about darkness, death, pressure, health, all of these things. Where should we start? Should we go with the darkness? Let's start with darkness because I think I'm the same as you. I really struggle when it starts to get dark at 2:30 in the afternoon and you're just like, I'm ready for bed by seven.
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B
Yeah, I quite often just give up. I get in the bath quite a lot because I think that's nice, being in the warmth and yeah, I try and sort of embrace it, you know, light the candle, do something nice and do all of that. But then sort of come 8:30 I really am ready to get into bed. And you know what? Because when my arthritis is bad, that whole. If you get on the sofa and then you stiffen up, the pain of having to get up and walk upstairs and get undressed and get into bed is a pain. So I think it's a habit that I perhaps formed when my arthritis was really bad quite a while ago that I would just get into bed sort of early and then watch tv. But I do know it's not supposed to be very good for you going to bed very early, but yeah, I kind of almost give my, myself permission to do it when it's winter.
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A
Yeah, I don't blame you. And I always think I go back to like years gone by. They used to follow the sun. We're meant to be in hibernation now, aren't we?
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B
It's like, yeah, be good at that.
- [06:39]
A
Why don't we allow ourselves especially. Yeah, I would be very, very good at that as well. Do you know, interestingly, you talk about your warm baths but I also know that you're a huge fan of cold swimming. Talk to me a bit about that. What got you into the cold swimming?
- [06:51]
B
That's your fault too. So it was the wealth of Wellbeing day and I only Went. Because I'd seen that you were talking at it and I thought, oh, I've never actually been to Grantly as a guest. I mean, we go there quite a lot with work and I thought, I really want to experience it. So I turned up with absolutely no expectations other than sort of a nice jolly day and, you know, some nice lunch and it was all going to be lovely. And then I'd seen on the brochure that somebody was going to be talking about cold water and Wim Hof. And I was like, oh, for God's sake. You know, these people, crazy people that go jumping into cold water seem to be everywhere. And this idea sort of, like hounding me down. You know, you go on LinkedIn and everybody's doing it and it's all these sort of, like, really successful people. I was like, for heaven's sake, you know, I've got enough challenges in my life anyway. The idea of trying to get into some cold water would just be absolute hell. So I was fully, hell bent on ignoring that session.
- [07:46]
A
And it was.
- [07:47]
B
I think it was. I think it was afternoon and I was fully in, fully intending to sort of sleep my way through it and sort of ponder all these other things. But then I'd listen to your. Your bit in the beginning and, you know, sort of talking about the fact that, you know, sometimes when you're in the darkest places, nobody's coming to rescue you and you've got to do something yourself. So, yeah, I was really sort of wedded to this idea that actually I was going to have to get a bit of a grip on, you know, life generally, both my health and my business and other stuff going on in my life and that nobody was going to rescue me. And I was really sort of planning on using that session to start thinking about, you know, how I was going to do this. And then Denny started speaking. And I think my background in sort of medical sales, you know, I've always liked a bit of research and some clinical evidence and all of that. And I think she said something along that, like this, there's some really good clinical evidence in inflammatory conditions like rheumatoid arthritis. And, you know, actually I was swearing in my head going, you know, sake, if you think I'm getting in cold water, I really am not. I spent like the whole session fighting in my head with this concept of that I really wasn't up for it in any way, shape or form. And then she did this little experiment, like putting a hand in cold water, and that reminded me of my Sort of like hypnotherapy training. I was like, you know, this idea just wouldn't go away, that it was something that I was actually meant to be doing. So I did end up going on Denny's course. I. I really resisted it. I did speak to Denny on several occasions to try to get out of it, and rang a friend that said, rang a friend that's a GP to say, you know, I really don't think this is a very sensible idea because I've got high blood pressure. He laughed at me and said, you know, don't let me be the excuse that you're not doing it. Get yourself on the course. So I ended up going and I really fell in love with that feeling of both being able to do something really difficult because it isn't easy, you know, is it pleasant? You know what, it probably isn't. But I started off by doing the cold showers in preparation for going, and just that feeling at the beginning of my day that I'd done something really difficult before the day had even started just made me feel a little bit invincible. And there definitely is some sort of physical thing that gives you a huge rush. And I am a little bit addicted to that. To the point now that I've become one of these crazy people and I. I've actually been accused of being a Wim Hof born. I'm really proud of that because I would see cold water now and I'd be thinking, oh, can I get in it? Which is, I can't believe I've turned into that person. But I really have, and I love it.
- [10:26]
A
And just think about how many times you ignored the signs, you know, looking back, how many times it was on LinkedIn, you know, the universe or whatever you believe in was going, this would be good for you. This would be good for you. Putting it in front of you. And yet, no, I don't want to. Amazing. What we resist is often the one thing.
- [10:41]
B
Absolutely. And I. I so didn't want to do it. You know, I'm one of those people that even when you go swimming and there's a beautiful, cool pool, I wouldn't want to get in it because it. That sort of getting into the cold water would be vaguely unpleasant. And now I get in a pool when we go on holiday and I'm like, heaven's sake, this water isn't cold enough. So.
- [11:03]
A
You know, what you said there is absolutely fascinating that I never really saw it that way. But doing something difficult before you've even started your day makes you feel Invincible. You know, the cold showers I've been doing for years, I've, you know, don't necessarily call it cold swimming or wild swimming. We've just always swum in cold water because it's the sea and it's cold or it's a lake and it's cold. But the, the cold showers for me started at school because by the time you got a shower there was no hot water. So cold showers were just kind of like the thing. And it made me feel really alive.
- [11:37]
B
Yeah, it does. It just makes you feel alive. It makes you feel buzzy. And there is definitely a correlation between my arthritis and how I am and my mental health without a shadow of a doubt. I feel so much more happy, so much more positive, so much more able just to cope with the general sort of shitstorm of life. And interestingly, when I've been on holiday last year we went to Kefalonia and when I came, by the time I came back, I was actually, you know, really struggling again with my arthritis and you know, my father in law died while we were over there. So obviously there was some sort of stress and emotional stuff going on as well. But I was in a real mess. And I do attribute part of it to being that, you know, I had this sort of huge longing to go and get in the sea and to get cold and you know, just to be able to. It stops that chatter in your head because, you know, you're actually just genuinely just focusing on how blooming freezing it is. And when that's going on, you haven't got space for all the other 101 thoughts that are rushing through your mind. And that calm is just. Yeah, it is amazing and I love it. So I really missed it. And it was the thing I wanted to do most when I got back was just to get in a cold shower and, you know, just get that feeling back again.
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A
I love that you talk about Denny and obviously Denny Devine. She has been on this podcast. So for the listeners who are listening, the Denny that we're talking about is the Denny who's been on earlier. If you're in one of the earlier podcasts this, this festive season and also just talking about the wealth and wellbeing day, the date has been set. Have you got your ticket?
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B
I had the first ticket, I think. Of course I did. You know that. Of course.
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A
So the wealth and wellbeing is in February of 2026. It is a wonderful full day organized by the fabulous Suze Ferrera and it is on again. So I'll pop a link in in the notes if you're. Well, wherever you are in the uk, it's, it's a wonderful gathering. A full day of inspirational speakers talking about well being and also wealth. Obviously the name, the title and the name of the event really gives it away, doesn't it?
- [13:48]
B
Yeah. And I'm bringing my friend and one of my old colleagues a taste work with who's our very good friend who lives in London. And she just gets the same stuff as me. We talk about, you know, the cold water swimming and we talk a lot about money and investing and our business and all this sort of stuff. So she, when I was talking about it, she's, am I allowed to come? And I'm like, yeah, of course you can come. So I'm really excited that she's going to be joining me for that as well.
- [14:13]
A
Oh, I love that. I want to go back to the second D. We've talked about the darkness and some of the wonderful things that you're doing to help yourself through that. I want to talk a little bit about death because I do think that obviously with our bar Humbug hats on, you know, death at Christmas is often quite a taboo subject. And last week I had quite an emotional time. I went to a funeral of a parent to a good friend of mine. And you know what, I don't want to say I love funerals, but there is something about a funeral that reminds us that life is short, that it is finite. And it brought up a lot of emotion and it made me realize that there was so much more that I wanted to do in my life. And at the weekend there was an event that made me think that James was dead. And for those 30 seconds where I thought that he wasn't breathing, it was quite an emotionally shocking period of time. And I just, it felt like half an hour when really probably was only 30 seconds. And it made me call into question once again, what do we want to do? What do we want to do with this one life? And I don't know about you, Elena, but when my mum died, it was almost like she gave me the gift of life. It was like this real wake up call to say, you are only going to be here for a certain period of time. What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to experience with this life? And it really does call into question that what are your thoughts over Christmas time? Thinking about that?
- [15:41]
B
Yeah, it's a really hard one because when my dad died, he was 56.
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A
Which, you know, Too young. That's our age almost and my mum.
- [15:50]
B
Was my age when she became a widow and that's something that's really hitting me hard at the moment, just that recognition that you know, here she was when my brother and I both left home we were sort of late 20s and she was having to effectively, you know, she'd been with her dad since she was 16 so she was having to start her life again so it is really, it's really scared me. I think I've actually got it a lot stronger now than I did when my dad died because I think I just stuck my head in the sand and didn't deal with it in any way, shape or form. I was, I was waiting for this great wake up call but instead I, I was sort of head down and just in survival mode. But I think particularly this year a lot of my parents friends have sadly passed away. I'm at a very special friend's mother's funeral tomorrow. She's been in my life and our next door neighbour for 14 years but I met her when I was a teenager so that's going to be really hard you know and so many of these people you just. But equally I think when you look at some of the funerals I feel like some people have had these lives that have been well lived and they've had lived to long age, you know, a good age. It feels like natural order to die, you know, sort of like in your 80s. But also it makes me realise that unless I sort of pull my finger out and sort my health out I might not be in a position to be able to enjoy that sort of long life and to be able to achieve the things I want to do and it has really sort of sharpened that focus that I don't want my funeral to be in a few years time when you know, my kids are still quite young and still do need you in their life to. Although they don't think they do. I mean they probably do need some help and guidance but they really don't think they need me for that. I think they think they'd rather have my money but I know not having had that in my life from my dad, I mean I'm very lucky that my mum's still fit and active and still around so. But it just, it does make me realize that there's so much more at 52 that I want to squeeze out of this very precious life and this time that I've got left and, and if that means I've got to do some more hard Stuff like going to the gym, which I'm still waiting for that sort of, like, love of exercise to kick in, because it really isn't happening for me. But, no, I really want. I really do want to make sure I can make the most of this sort of, like, next chapter of my life.
- [18:25]
A
So, unfortunately, we lost the final 10 minutes of my conversation with Eleanor, and I didn't not want to share the conversation that we'd already had because I think it's going to be so relevant for everybody over Christmas who is finding that they're going through a difficult time. And I just recall the whole conversation I had with Eleanor as being one of joy and. And light, despite some of the saddest and most uncomfortable times for some people of the year. So we're just going to leave it where it ended and we're going to invite Elena back because in the final 10 minutes, we talked a lot more about Elena's plans for the future, how she's going to continue to squeeze more out of life. We talked more about teenagers, and the discussion talked about how actually her, well, practically adult children and my teenage sons are perhaps more work than they were when they were younger, and how the pressure that we have in our lives because we have chosen to create lives that are wildly different to what we thought, how that that pressure is actually a privilege. So it was my privilege to have Eleanor on the podcast and I thank her so much for coming on and we're going to have her back in the new year. So in the meantime, please do go and find Elena and her wonderful commentary on social media. You can find her on LinkedIn. Elena Goddard. I'll put everything in the show notes. She just has such a wonderful way with words and seeing life. Find her on Instagram at Furnish and Fettle, and I will drop all of her links in the show notes because she is just a joy to have in your life. And we'll definitely be getting her back on the JOY broadcast in the new year. Thank you. My mission is to spread love, joy, peace and abundance to as much of the world as I possibly can so that every person knows that they don't have to walk alone in their darkness. So if you've enjoyed today's podcast and this episode, I would be so honored and happy if you would support my mission and share this with your network, your friends and your family. Please feel free to leave me an honest review on Apple or Spotify. And until next time, remember, the ripple of joy starts with you.