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The JTrain Podcast
Applying To A Reality Show, Getting Out Of A Bad Date, And A Smelly Wife! Help!! - MONDAY MAILBAG
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It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is Jay Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Monday is a ma Bag Monday, where you, the listener, email me the comedian, questions, anything you'd like. If you have a question, we would love to answer it here. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com we're always looking for questions, and it can be really about anything. Dating, relationships, friend stuff. We love a screenshot. Weddings, bar mitzvahs. I don't know. Baritz always just seems come after weddings for me. Bachelor parties. Bachelor party. Whatever you're dealing with. If you want to hear someone who you know the easiest and I think best advice is to get is from someone who has no. I have no. You. I have no. There's nothing in it for me to answer you in a way that isn't helpful. Like there's, I don't know you. I don't need you to do. I don't need. I'd like for you to do. Be, you know, get better. I'd like for you to feel better, but, like, that's not like. And also, I don't have to make eye contact with you. That's a powerful thing. You know, I can tell you these things and be honest with you in the way a friend might soften my skirt. Soften and skirt. Your friend is softening and skirting when they give you advice. And listen, I'm not above your friend. If my friend asked me for advice, I'd soften and skirt too. Soften and skirt. Great merch line. Could be a fun T shirt. Listen, this is the J Train podcast. It's a daily show. Every day is a different theme. Today is mailbag. Monday, Tuesday, ticked off. Tuesday. Wednesday, chit chat. Wednesday. Thursday, pop culture. Thursday. Friday's coffee with J Train that you get with your Patreon subscription. Now, I am on the road, so I'm taping this from Delray Beach. I'm about to go on a. A worldwide adventure. I'm coming to Durham. Charlotte. Durham and Charlotte. I think Charlotte will be okay. Durham, we might have some Ish. So assemble the group chat. Durham, Fort Lauderdale, surprisingly not moving. So if you're in the Fort Lauderdale. I'm sitting in the Fort Lauderdale area now. And listen, I'm sitting in Del Rey, 40 minutes from Fort Lauderdale. I would have to like, really prepare my mind to get down there. I, I get it, I get it. You're sitting in Boca or you're sitting in Jupiter and you're like, that's a ride. Take a ride. Assemble the group chat. It's the day after Thanksgiving. You're going to want to get away from your family anyways. Miami, Royal Oak, Michigan. Detroit, Michigan, my mom's hometown. And Columbus, Ohio. I just got an email. Hey, man, Columbus. We gotta get some tickets moving. So Columbus. That one was one where we were taking a chance. So Columbus, Columbus, Columbus. Because last time I went there, it didn't really move either. I don't know. Jared free.com. i got a good show. I'm gonna have a great show. The show here. Let me tell you what the show is not. It's not me going in the audience. Hey, where you from? What do you do? How long have you two been together? This is a show. This is because. And also it's in a theater. All these are theaters. I take a lot. I take that seriously. You can go watch on YouTube my behind the scenes video from DC we're going to have more of that. I think by now we might have another behind the scenes video from Chicago, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, the Midwest run. I brought the on the Road. We're going to see how that goes. So get your tickets, assemble the group chat. I got three emails in front of me for Mailbag Monday. I have two advertisements. Let's do the first email. Jarrett saw your video Five Tips for a First Date. Now that's a video we're doing with batches with the you up. We call it you up for more. And we've done some like, more like quick hit. These are dating questions you might have. Let's hear two people talk it out thoughtfully. That's what we do on the podcast. That's what I try and do here. Five Tips for a First Date and how to. So I haven't gone back and watched this video. I do the video, I prepare for it, and then it's out. So I don't know. Let's, let's see if I can go down memory lane and let's see. Okay. I saw your video five Tips for a First Date and had a quick question. You mentioned that one hour, one drink rule is a solid boundary, but I always end up agreeing to a second drink, even when I know I'm not into the guy. Okay, I, I, I have to go back and watch. We're not really a rule. I'm not like a rule guy. When it comes to dating, I think a date is way more like a dance is way more art than it is science. I, I, I don't, I think it's way more. It's not baking, you know, I don't think you need. So, you know, it doesn't have to have the exact ingredients. I do think you're, I think you're. When you go on a date with someone, you're in for a drink. Now, whatever that drink is. I've been on dates and had Pellegrino. I get a bottle of Pellegrino. I get a glass of wine. I get a vodka soda. One, one thing, one, you know, I've even gotten fries on a day. I'm gonna get the fries and a Diet Coke while we sit and I'm gonna munch on fries. I think these are all fair game. I think it's okay. But I think you're, you're the one drink. You know, I think when you ask people about first dates, you land in the extremes a lot. I was on a horrible first date. How do I get out of it? You know, it's like, well, you're in for the drink. The one drink. You know, you might show up and see the person go, oh, this is not what I thought it would be. They're, they're just not for you. You still gotta be polite and have that one drink. Quote, unquote. That's what I would do should. I hate telling people what to do with this stuff. I'm, I'm saying what I would do. Let me go, let me go back. Let me take a step back. I go on a date, I meet the person for whatever reason, first hug, first handshake. I'm like, I know this isn't going to work out now. We're just two human beings. We're going to sit and we're going to interact and we're going to have a nice time and have a good conversation because we agreed to do that. I think that's the polite and nice thing to do. I think that's. The bar is low. I'm not saying I'm a good person as far as, hey, you get done with that first drink, whatever it is. I'll have a Pellegrino, they'll have a glass of wine. I'll have a Diet Coke, they'll have a water, whatever it might be. Again, let's not get into the details. Let's not. Because when I, I even noticed, as I said, I'll have a water. If someone that's not your problem. Let's not get caught up you I am here to have one drink and meet this person that I agreed to go out with. So. But I always end up agreeing to a second drink even when I know I'm not into the guy. I think that's fine. Again, I'm going to, I'm going to be, I'm going to go along with the current. I'm not going to ask you to swim against the current. As if I would do that. No. But this is, this is what drives me crazy about advice. If you don't like the person, get out of there as soon as possible. That's not how it works. I took the summer off the apps Shout out to the summer challenge. Thanks Jared. No problem. Yeah, we all took a summer off the apps for but I'm gearing up for a fall return and trying to avoid wasting time on dead end dates. In the past I've used my dog as an excuse, need to feed him, have to let him out, etc. But I'd love some advice on how to politely and honestly turn down that second drink. Signed a betch who just wants to go home. Here's my advice to you. And sometimes the emails start in a certain way and then they go another way from me. When I, when I read your email, I hear, you know, as a whole, I want to go on good dates and if they're not good, I don't want to lead someone on. That'd be like the polite version of reading your email. I want to be, I want to know a strategy for getting out of dates that just they're not the match for me. That is a totally reasonable thing. If I were you, if, you know, when I'm, you know, when I'm on a date with someone, we get the first drink, we start talking. I've kind of boxed off an hour and a half at a minimum for the other person. If you go beneath, you know, if, if I went shorter than the hour and a half, I would assume something has happened, something has gone horribly wrong. I, I think to me that's polite. I, I, I think to me I'm going to go back to your email because I think something you wrote is your problem. I'm gearing up for a fall return to dating and trying to avoid wasting time on dead end dates. This is your problem. That, that wording is your wording, your perspective. If you're going to what would I, I would kind of ask you a bunch of questions. What is a dead end date? What is a waste of your time? I used to work in selling annuities and life insurance and there were guys who would work in that office. Guys, it was always men who would say, a, you know, an hour of my time is worth $10,000. Don't waste my time. And I thought they sounded like such an. And I'm gonna kind of give that feedback to you. I think you don't mean to, but I think, and I think you're repeating something I hear a lot. Dead end dates, what would you consider? So I think your fears are outpacing the reality is my opinion on you. If someone let me, let me present a scenario. You meet someone on the apps, they seem great. This is why I think messaging on the apps is important. This is why it's okay to have fine conversations on the app that don't turn into a date. If you're not excited to go on the date, let's stop going on the date. Because I would say to you that dead end dates and wastes of time are something you're agreeing to at home. And you know that going in, it's okay to say I had a conversation with someone that was nice and fine, but I need more than nice and fine to go on a date and leave the house. And that's when it's okay to be like, my time is worth 10,000 an hour. That's the moment where it goes, your time, my time is valuable. This person's. And again, this is inside thoughts. These are alone in your shower at home. I got. You know what? I'm a great person. You wouldn't say if you said it outside, you'd sound like a piece of shit. But inside thoughts, you know what, they're a nice person. I'm a nice person. But this match isn't getting me excited to go out with them. You can ghost, you can stop talking to them. Why not? You don't know them. You don't owe them a thing. Maybe you met someone else. There's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of blissful naivete. There's a lot of, there's a lot of like, excuses that could work and you're not going to get called out. Or you could say to them, hey, this was a really nice conversation. I wouldn't even say that. I would just move on from it. Because when you're writing, I'm gearing up for a fall return to dating and trying to avoid wasting time on dead end dates. What would be a waste of time? Going out with someone for an hour and a half and then realizing, you know what, that match doesn't get me excited for a second date. So I'm not going to go out again. Was that, is that a dead end date? I think your description of what you fear is way more extreme and not a reality compared to the reality. The reality is you're going to go out with someone, you're going to get home and go, you know, they were really nice and I'm not sure if I'm attracted, but maybe I would go out a second time if we had some nice texting banter in between. But if they don't really text and I'm okay with letting this fizzle out. Most of this lives in the normal. So I think my advice to you is when you're going out and you're meeting someone on the apps, let's only go out if we're excited. Now that's going to happen less. I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to get on a dating app. You're going to get more matches, more likes, more dopamine hits. That doesn't mean you're going to have more and better relationships. That means you're just going to have more and it's going to exhaust you more. So let's get in touch with our feelings. What makes us feel good to go on the date? And listen, I'm saying this from my end. I've been on these apps, I've had the okay conversations that turn into dates and then I'm on the way to the date going, what am I doing? Why am I going? I'm not even excited. I shouldn't have made the date in the first place. And that's what I'm saying to you. Let's go back a step. Let's stop saying that these are dead end dates. As if someone didn't amount to what you believe they should have been. I, I'm, I'm, I'm hitting back at you, Ms. Emailer, because I bet you just wants to go home. Like if you're not a, again, like, let's, let's get, let's, let's feel a little more because you're saying, I bet you just wants to go home. Like I think you would be. You know, the thing with dates we're excited about is that it's scary. You don't want to be. When you're excited about something and it doesn't work out, you're disappointed by it as well. When you're not excited for the date and it doesn't work out, you're just like, I just want to go home. So my advice to you, let's not go on dates that even that that are just I could go out, let's not go out just to go out. Because that's when you start talking about other people who are good people and will be great for someone as dead end dates and waste of your time. If two hours is a waste of your time to meet someone new, you maybe shouldn't you be, you shouldn't be dating. Maybe you're not, you know, free enough, you don't have enough free time. If two hours is a waste of your time, you don't have enough free time to date to meet someone new that you were excited about. I promise if you're excited to meet someone, you will never think of these dates as dead ends or waste of time. Jtrain podcast gmail.com Jtrain podcast gmail.com Fall always feels like a reset with back to school football season and the days getting shorter, finding time to cook can be tough. That's why I love Factor. Factor offers a wide selection of chef prepared dietitian approved meals including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost. I love Factor because it's quick and easy and it's portioned right and it's more creative than I would have been if I had cooked for myself. Factor is a great way to stay healthy. 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Eat smart@factor meals.com jtrain50off use code jtrain50off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code jtrain50off@factormeals.com for 50% off your first box plus FREE breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with Factor offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. So that's our first of two sponsors. We'll get to the second one after this email. All the sponsors are in the description of the episode. So you know I'm not going to beg you to use a promo code. I'm going to tell you if the sponsor feels like the right decision for you, use the code that helps the show. Jared, Big fan of your comedy and proud Patreon subscriber. Thank you. I've got a mailbag Monday for you. I really want to be on the show Survivor. I've been watching it for a few years. I love this email. I love this. I, I love, I think the show Survivor. I mean I think a lot of people think the show Survivor is awesome and I got, I was originally into it, loved it when it first came out. Richard Hatch, I mean watched it, loved it, enjoyed it, watched it for seasons and then during the Pandemic there were two seasons or three seasons on Netflix and it got me back into it. Wonderful watch. Just a, just a great. The game, the game is so good. And, and the, the interesting part about getting back into Survivor at that time was finding out how many people were like proud fans and, and at home kind of game players like this was like a total type of person who felt that they had a skill in this. And let me read this. I've been watching it for a few years and just love the gameplay. You're right, there's a, there was a lot of people on the show that were like gameplay people. I've applied multiple times but have heard I've applied multiple times but have heard zero. The application consists of a three minute video of just of just talking about yourself and why you want to play. I've submitted eight different videos. Some more focused on my job, some just me telling a story with a lot of energy, some ranting about the show, etc. I've even did, I even did a quick day trip to NYC, rented a billboard for 15 seconds with my picture and they linked to my video and filmed the video there. I'm getting creative. I don't have a crazy backstory or wild job. I'm a pretty normal person so I feel like it's harder to get noticed. Not impossible, just harder. I thought maybe you can relate because your comedy is always just focused on everyday life and not some crazy past you have what do you recommend? Do you have any crazy ideas? Also, would you ever want to go on a competition show? Thanks. Trying to survive. I love this email. It does relate to me. I can make anything relate to me because, you know, this is the J Train podcast, and that's kind of my job. No, but you're right. Like, I. And this is the hard part is, like, crazy backstory. I. I mean, I deal with this in comedy. I remember when I first started doing it, my dad, you know, like, there. There's a saying. It's like, you can't be. Like, you have to be so overweight that you're, like, funny, or you have to be so in shape that you're a leading person. Like, that's kind of the rub. Like, you know, like, and you can't be in between, because then you're nothing. And this might sound mean to you, but this is how people talk to me and say, well, you're just this or you're just that, or, you know, and I get that vibe a lot when I. When I go on stage, I can feel from the audience, like, who's, you know, who's this guy? What is it? My cousin on stage? You know, so that means you're, like. For me, I believe my jokes have to be very tight. My perspective has to be zoned in. I have to be good. I have to perform. I have to bring it. Now, someone with interesting background and with different, you know, whatever their thing is, would say, well, for these reasons, I have, you know, my issues getting on stage, and I'm not here to compare stripes. I think that's a. That's really not a great way to go. It's a waste of time. But what you're saying is acknowledging the reality. You're like, I'm just a nice person who likes gameplay and really wants to go on the show, and you would think that's all that matters. But from a production standpoint, they're like, well, we got a cast. We got to have someone who jumps off the screen who relates to someone in this same position. You know, right now with the Golden Bachelor, there's Debbie. 65 years old, never married, no kids. She has a story that it's not everybody, but there's people out there that are going to latch on and go, I gotta watch. That's me on screen. So I understand that as well. So I guess, like, you know, I love that you're trying. I don't really have anything specific other than the getting creative. I love that. I think you got to the way you jump out is to keep getting creative. I think when you're purchasing a billboard that is, I don't know if that's, that's a good idea. You tried it, but I think it doesn't stand out because it's not so personal. I think you gotta go really personal. And listen, this is what's helped me with comedy is like, I try my best to make every joke I, I, I speak in personal terms. I think it's more powerful that way. That means it's my story. I, you know, early on and when I first started, you go down this road of men do this, women do this, couples are like this, married people are like this. The more vague you get, the less vulnerable you are, and the more it can be anybody and it's not your story. So, like with the special that I taped almost a year ago now, the family business tour that's going to be called the Family Plan that we're currently trying to sell, like, that was as personal as it got, that I got so many people that really connected with it. And that's why it's like, it's some of the best work I've ever done. And it's why it's like, really, you know, personally, like, makes me upset that it's not sold yet, that it's not out. Like, I want it to be out there because I feel I'm being judged by something that isn't as good. Like, you know, 37 and single. I'm happy it got out there, but, like, I, I want this real personal thing out there that makes people really feel connected to my comedy. And, you know, you're a Patreon subscriber, so you found your way to that for me. So to me, I think if I'm to give advice to, like, how do you pop? I think you go, you, you say, I have a very normal. You said, I. The application, three minutes. I've submitted some more focus on my job. I even did a quick. I don't have a crazy backstory, a wild job. I'm pretty normal person. I think dig into your normalcy. That will make people connect. And I think, like, speak in the key of me and I, I, I and get personal and don't. That doesn't mean get sad. That doesn't mean tell a tragic tale that doesn't exist. That doesn't mean take your normal life and turn it into a tragic life. You don't have to do that. Like, I think the creative version is going to all your friends and family and like and interviewing them about you or maybe some version of friends and family that shows how full your life is. And again, that feels normal but that is what people will connect to. That's my other than that, wear bright colors, I don't know how else and keep going, keep trying. This is a fun passion. This is a fun side project. I think you know, and you love it be and I think these are the type of things that make you not so normal, not so run of the mill. You have this very fun passion for this show that turns into kind of like your little side project. So I, I not to minimize but like your, your side project and it makes you you Ivan. Keep going. I'm, I'm, it's going to happen. I, I, I, I have a feeling, I think but I, I, I and personalize everything. And I in because the billboard is like and again that's a version of like anyone can go rent the billboard. You know, you didn't get the billboard because no one could do that. I think going personal and going to some of your family and friends, interviewing them, maybe finding a creative angle to do that with would be good. Jtrain podcastmail.com J train podcastmail.com you've heard of a money pit, but how about a cash eruption? Cash eruption slots at DraftKings Casino is the eruption we're here for. You don't even have to give it a second thought. 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Thank you for listening on Mondays or whenever you listen. Wherever you are. I hope you're well. J Train it says. Dearest J Train, longtime listener, two time emailer, lifetime nut Featherer. Thank you. My wife and I recently moved back to our college town, which is about an hour away from the major metropolitan city we were living in. Overall, it's been a fantastic move. We love the smaller town vibe, slower pace of life that it has to offer, not to mention a huge reduction in traffic we've been able to reconnect with with some couple friends that we knew from college who made similar moves over the past few years. And this is where my issue comes in. I love this. Good for you. Congrats on the move. You know, I've made a move myself to a smaller town to and I do like the vibe here in Delray Beach. I'm enjoying it. I'm in the process of getting a purchasing a place. I'm going to throw down some roots. So I get it. So here's his problem. My buddy's wife stinks. Hey, it's not bo. It's not too much perfume. It's not really something I can particularly pinpoint. It may be some kind of natural deodorant or hippie dippy dye free something or other, but it's a completely unique brand of stink and overwhelming when we're around her. That sentence is crazy. It may be some kind of natural deodorant or hippie dippy dye free something or other, but it's a completely unique brand of stink and Overwhelming when we're around her. Obviously my wife and I can talk about this behind her back, but we can't bring it up directly to her or even my buddy for that matter. No, you can't bring this up to your friend. This is. I. Let's. Let's take a moment to reflect on the blessing of having a friend with a smelly wife. Reflect on how, how nice that is for you and your wife to have something to talk about, to discuss the smell, to try and describe the smell in different ways, to try and figure out what it smells like or what it reminds you of. This is a conversation piece that you and your wife have and can really go over forever. Tell other people you'll find others that know them, that it'll come up naturally. You can't bring it up right away but oh, the smell. Oh, you know, the smell. And then now you have a gift to talk about with other people. I, I think we too too many with scenarios like this. It's too much. It's always negative. Let's think of the positive. You have a friend whose wife smells like garbage and now you and your wife can talk about it together forever and love each other even more for having connected over this person's stinky wife. That's a good thing. You should be happy you have this together. You should. You know, I think this will make your kisses more passionate, your hugs more huggy, your lovemaking more love filled. Let us look at each other. I think checking in with this couple once a to remind yourselves of the smell they have as well as bring back the fun of a discussion that has nothing to do with your marriage, your problems, your insecurities and it's about other people. You can really gnaw on the bone of this subject with your wife for a good month. Let us all thank the good Lord above for the smelly people in our lives who give us something to talk about with the people we love the most. I think this is great. Any advice on how we can unstink this woman? No, I think you got to keep her stinky as they are a great couple, friends and people we want to continue to have in our lives. Sincerely, small Town Stinker. There's only a couple ways to go about this. To me, I think this smelly woman is a blessing. I think this smelly woman is something for you and your wife to connect on and really like. It's. It's a place of happiness for you to, to know you're on the same page about something is really nice I think this could be the, you know, the, the, the, this could be something that keeps you guys communicating. And I'm joking a little, but I'm not, I'm really not joking. I really think this smelly woman is like a better thing. Her not being smelly is boring. You're in this small town, you got to hang out with these couples that are just pretty normal that you've known for 20 years since college. And you're sitting there talking about the same things you were before. I don't know how much fun that is. Now you got this new smelly person who's in the group that you and your wife can kind of chit, chat about and you know, and, and use as something to get your mind off of your own problems. I, I, here's a solution. There's a couple things you could do. I think the, the, the, the first thing that comes to mind is you gifting her them some sort of perfume or cologne. Hey, we thought, you know, but that's a little on the nose. That's a little bit too specific. Here's the plan. I don't know what you guys do for work. This is a move that I do. I get sent lots of stuff for this podcast. Whenever there's a sponsor, they want personal endorsements, so they send me stuff. I don't know what you guys do, but whatever you do, it takes a little creativity to connect it to something having being sent to you. I don't know what it is. If you're a lawyer. Hey, my company, for whatever reason, there's this new soap company that just opened in the area, and they just dropped this off at our office and they brought us so much we could never use all this soap. We thought, we'll bring it over to you guys. That's about as good an idea as I can come up with off the top of my head. Because I think you going, hey, Merry Christmas, we bought you perfume. It would be too random. It would be too. Why would anyone buy someone else perfume? And if they're smelly, maybe someone else has tried and then you really got a problem because they're like, do you think I smell? People have sold me this before. I like my deodorant. I don't know what you're smelling. You don't want that. I think you gotta go deodorant. Like, I do this with the podcast stuff, so I get sent a lot of stuff and sometimes it's too much for one person. They send me a ton. So I have gone to like, Events at like my friend's houses. And they're like, they're like. And, and with a big box and they're like, what is this? I'm like, had this extra mouthwash. Do you want some mouthwash? And they're like, sure, now they're using the mouthwash. So for you. And you say it's not bo but it's not too much perfume and it's not really something you can pinpoint, but it's some kind of natural deodorant or hippie dippy dye free something I think you and your wife. But you got to get a lot of it. You got to have like. So whatever job can be most connected to. Somehow a massive amount of deodorant, women's deodorant was delivered to your office. Somehow, some way, I don't know what it is. You know, the office next door is this new deodorant company. And then you gotta go find new deodorant and you have to bring a lot. It can't be one. It's gotta come in a box that looks like you got it at Costco because it has to look like they gave you a bunch as a sample to try. And it was so much that you're like, we gotta get rid of this. Hey guys, let's do dinner tonight. Also, we got sent a bunch of stuff from this company that works, you know, alongside my wife. We're gonna bring it over. You guys have any interest, don't even ask. Just show up. Hey, yeah, this deodorant company just opened up in our office and they just dropped off a bunch and we can't use all this. So here you go. That's the move. That's the only thing I can think of. You can't say anything. But I also. To go back to what I said before, I do think this is nice. What I would do if I was in a couple. You want other couples with weird things going on in their relationship so that me and my wife have something to talk about that isn't our own problems. That is the dream of any couple is to have another couple that you are close with but not too close with that has one peculiar thing going on in their relationship that you and your wife or husband can dig into and chew on for months and hours and years at a time. That is the dream scenario for anyone in a long term relationship. Another couple who has such a weird relationship thing going on that you two can talk about it. To take up the space of the boring life that is couple life. That's the dream. You have the dream. So you can go option A, keep the dream of another couple having a smelly wife, or option B, oh, my God, we got all this deodorant delivered. We're going to leave it with you. Jtrain podcastmail.com Jtrain podcastmail.com Back next week. Boom.