← The JTrain Podcast
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- [00:00]
A
Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a Ch Chat Wednesday too. Hello and welcome to the J Train podcast. Is J Train Jared free coming live from Delray Beach, Florida? That's right, every Wednesday is a Chit Chat Wednesday where I sit with a comedian, a friend, an expert. Today I have two of the three. Friend, long time friend. Now we, we've known each other years at this point. So long, so long in so long in maybe the weirdest way you could get to know someone. I started yelling about charcuterie plates and someone was like, you gotta meet Marissa Mullen who does that cheese plate. And we became fast friends based on meats and cheeses. And she has been on the podcast before. She has a new book that is out right now called I'll Bring the Apps. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it. I'll Bring the Apps. And it is a beautiful book. It looks great on a, on a shelf or a kitchen counter or a bookshelf. Look at the pictures. Everyone, welcome Marissa Mullen from At that Cheese Plate. Thank you for coming back on the J Train podcast. How are you?
- [01:48]
B
Oh my goodness, it's been so long. Also, I haven't seen the board lord in quite a while. Where has he been?
- [01:54]
A
I. I moved on. You know, sometimes the bit you gotta, you gotta move on the bit every now and again. Listen, you gotta grow. If you're not growing, you're dying. Which is something you can attest to because I know this is your third book.
- [02:10]
B
Yep, third book.
- [02:11]
A
Not one, not two, three books. And the fact that it's called I'll bring the Apps. That's an evolution.
- [02:19]
B
We're expanding.
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A
We're growing my apps. Right. You're not just doing cheese and meats anymore. You're in the app universe. We've. How do you, how does it feel to be doing apps? What do we think? What's the difference? Talk to us about. I'll bring the app switches. We'll have a link to the book in the bio of this episode. Wherever you're listening or watching. Go ahead. Marissa Mollard.
- [02:41]
B
Yeah, well, thank you. I mean, like you said, evolution is, is necessary, especially in this crazy, fast paced world of social media. And I feel like personally for me, I just hate cooking dinner like Hate cooking dinner for a crowd, hate doing dishes, hate being in the kitchen while, like, I'm roasting a chicken and all my friends are hanging out without me. So what I like to do is host these things that I call Snacky parties. And about a year ago, I moved from Snacky Parties. Snacky Party trademark. I didn't trademark it yet, but I should.
- [03:11]
A
Did you trademark it?
- [03:12]
B
No, but maybe I should after this.
- [03:14]
A
Okay, it's trademarked now. I mean, great merch. Snacky Party. Yeah, I would love that as a T shirt as I walked into the Snacky Party. Wouldn't that be fun that, you know,
- [03:23]
B
I just did launch some cheese tour merch, which is on sale now. But Snacky Party, that needs to. Needs to come up on a T shirt. But basically, I moved from Brooklyn to the Hudson Valley about a year ago, full time. I knew one person.
- [03:38]
A
I saw this. Sorry to interrupt. I saw this move a little bit on the socials. How does the Hudson Valley is like this. How would you describe the Hudson Valley to anyone that doesn't, you know, it is. It's kind of like this food destiny. It's kind of like a Napa Valley of New York. It's kind of treated that way as far as food and culinary stuff, right?
- [03:59]
B
For sure. Yeah. I would say it's like an extension of Brooklyn to the point where I will run into people out and about and ask like, oh, where did you move from? And they say Brooklyn. I'm like, oh, where? Greenpoint. Oh, what street? And they were like my next door neighbor. So it just kind of feels like this, this almost, you know, next trajectory of when you're kind of done burnt out in the city, where do you go next? And you know, I always say, like, people in Connecticut come from Manhattan and people from the Hudson Valley come from Brooklyn. So that's kind of like the trajectory. So it's a little bit more artsy. There's a lot of different, you know, restaurants, bars, vineyards, breweries. It's just like a really awesome community up there of like creative entrepreneurs and artists, et cetera. And the move happened for me mainly because, you know, I was a feeling burnt out living in the city for 10 years and a really loud wine bar moved in beneath me. And they didn't noise cancel, so. Or they didn't soundproof. So for about six months of my life, I was falling to sleep to. Through my floorboards and at a wine bar.
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A
What kind of.
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B
I can't just.
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A
I can't disclose living above.
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B
I can't disclose the name. It's a listening room. Okay. As they say, you know, hype beast.
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A
What's. What's a lit.
- [05:15]
B
It's like one of those places that has, like, a really, really loud, big sound system, and they play records and they serve wine.
- [05:23]
A
Hey, this is, like, infuriating.
- [05:26]
B
They're great people, okay? They're great people, but listen, not great.
- [05:30]
A
We can all be that little great people. Is not a shield for acting like an.
- [05:35]
B
It did force me to move out of.
- [05:36]
A
This is the thing with. What right wouldn't they, like, if. If you knew that if, If. If it was on someone's resume, if someone's like, oh, meet these. This nice couples coming to our party. We're having a snacky party. And. Oh, how do you know them? Well, they own the wine bar in Brooklyn. Oh, really?
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B
Yeah.
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A
They have a wine bar that's so disruptive that a young woman had to pick up her whole life and move miles away.
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B
Okay.
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A
Like, wouldn't you be like, oh, they're the most horrific, not thoughtful, horrible people you've ever encountered?
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B
Wouldn't you, I think that.
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A
Say that they're a net negative to society?
- [06:16]
B
No, no, it was. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, I would say, you know, this move took many different moments to get to this.
- [06:24]
A
I moved to Delray Beach, Florida. I don't know if you know this.
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B
Oh, nice. That's amazing.
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A
I live in Del Rey. I live in Delray Beach. So I was in Manhattan and I made a move, you know, similarly, where I'm like, you know what? My time in New York is done.
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B
Yeah.
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A
I did my. I did my. My, My stay. I was there for 18 years. I think with New York, you know, you can own there, but you're always renting.
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B
Yeah.
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A
I think when it comes to Brooklyn or New York in general, any of the. Most of the boroughs, I would. I would say for like, you know, Queens, New York, if you're coming there from college to kind of do your hustle, you're renting, you're. You're there as a visitor. You're there to, like, you know, try and make it happen for yourself in whatever way you can. And then you're like, okay, I'm ready to go. I got my fix. I'm ready to feel a little bit more comfortable. That's okay.
- [07:11]
B
Yeah, I think, you know, so before I started that cheese plate, I was working at the Late Show. Stephen Colbert, and I was in production. And so that energy, you're just constantly on the go. You're you're in that hustle and bustle. And I think when I pivoted to do that cheese plate full time, the environment around me was not matching what I was doing, which was like, creating these beautiful, abundant spreads and wanting to go into nature, into farmers markets and things like that. And I found myself constantly just going upstate anyways, like, on weekend trips. And so this whole kind of idea was probably like two years in the making. Wine bar forced me out. But then when I moved up there, I found a house that I loved and put an offer in. Didn't think I would get it. Got it and was like, well, shit, here I go. And I knew one person, so kind of just like, picked up my life, moved there. But again, everyone you meet is from Brooklyn, so it was super easy to create a community. I also, like, made it my mission to be super extroverted because I did not want to be, like, alone in the woods. And by doing that, I started hosting these monthly snacky parties. So I would, like, meet you at a bar and be like, hey, come over to my house next weekend. I'm having a party with apps. And what it was is like, I just served a bunch of appetizers and. Which is categorized in the book as bites, bowls and boards. And the idea is that you can
- [08:28]
A
just say bites, bowls and boards.
- [08:31]
B
Bites.
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A
Set it out.
- [08:32]
B
Forget it, set it, forget it. Don't have to be stuck in the kitchen. And that kind of, like, real life application of these parties was the influence for this book. And I kind of was writing the book at the same time as hosting these parties. So it was really cool because I feel like, yes, it's an evolution of the brand, but it also very much mimics the evolution of my journey of just, like, leaving the city and expanding my world, too. So totally together.
- [08:59]
A
I would say, you know, if you feed them, they will come.
- [09:03]
B
Exactly.
- [09:04]
A
If you build it, they will come. If you feed them, they will come. Hey, I think when people, you know, we live in a world that's a little bit more divided. We live in a world that, like, you know, is. We've. We've opted for solitude over community.
- [09:18]
B
Right.
- [09:18]
A
You know, these phones that we have on our hip pocket, they allow for us to just zone in and scroll and melt and be alone.
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B
Yeah.
- [09:28]
A
You know, I. I have this. I'm doing. I'm on my stand up right now. I'm talking about going to Europe alone. And I wouldn't have been a. I don't think I have the personality, the ability to have Done that without a phone. Yeah, I, I kind of think of myself on the road.
- [09:44]
B
Right.
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A
Whenever I'm on the road, I'm in a new city. Scrolling.
- [09:47]
B
Yeah.
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A
You know that can sound sad to someone. But it's crazy though.
- [09:49]
B
It's like we are living in the matrix. Don't you realize everyone truly nuts. Right?
- [09:54]
A
Yeah. And we're living the life losers live.
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B
Like the, the ones who like comment, hate comments and they're in their basement on their computer. Like that's what we're all doing now. Not commenting, hate comments, but that vision of like that person in their parents basement just like hehe, that's us.
- [10:11]
A
That's what they wanted. You know, Mark Zuckerberg wasn't a social guy.
- [10:15]
B
Yeah.
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A
You know, he created social media to have the social, you know, that he wanted to have. Now we're all living in it because we're addicted to the drug. That's fine. But I, I think, you know, we have to admit that it's bigger than us.
- [10:29]
B
Yeah.
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A
And I think a book like this where you say these snacky parties, you move to a new town and you're like, you know, do you remember the first instance you went up to someone, you're like, hey, I'm cooking food on Friday and I got a eclectic group of people coming over. Do you remember the like, do you have a person that was like the most random person you've invited? Like who's. Who comes to mind probably.
- [10:53]
B
I have this group of four friends, two couples, two of them actually own an ice cream. It's the coolest thing ever. It's called the rolling Cones and it's a ice cream RV Airstream that's like parked outside this brewery. It's the most like quintessential Hudson Valley.
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A
That's the most.
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B
It's amazing.
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A
That's the most Hudson Valley sentence I've ever heard.
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B
Yeah, I. Organic ice cream.
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A
You know, I could see the duck boots. I can see the boots with the, you know, with the rubber at the bottom. Total bean.
- [11:23]
B
I'm obsessed. I eat it up. But basically. So I. Ennis is a hotel up there, really cute boutique hotel. They have a membership where you can join like the gym and the spa and like use the pools and it's cheaper than like a gym membership here in the city. So I decided to join that just to kind of like meet new people and was sitting in the pool, just started talking to this group of people and one of my friends at the time, like kind of knew them and we all just started talking And I literally, I think it was after like 10 minutes or something, I'm like, hey, you guys should come over next weekend. I'm throwing a party. So they all come over and now that was probably a year ago. They're like some of my best friends up there now. So.
- [12:06]
A
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- [13:52]
B
I think it's just you got to put yourself.
- [13:55]
A
I'm sorry to interrupt you because I, I think that what you just explained and you know, listen, this podcast, we get into dating advice and lifestyle advice and we talk a lot about this. I find it funny that what you just described is like a scene in a movie where you're in a pool, you're talking to this group of people drinking a margarita. Your friend kind of knows having a marg and then, hey, I'm having a party next week. I'm cooking. Come over. Oh my God. Everyone's excited because f thankfully we have something to do. We don't have to make a plan. We're not boring. We're going out, and I just imagine your friend looking at you going, you're throwing a party. You're like, no. Well, now I am like, that's kind of like, right? Like, I'm sure you didn't have, like, invit right on the spot. Like, why not?
- [14:38]
B
Jared? I am pretty type A. I did have a particle made. I did have a theme made, which was taters and teenies. You're talking to the appetizer.
- [14:47]
A
Taters and teenies.
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B
Yes, of course. Taters and teenies.
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A
Explain taters and teenies so that people can copy it and do it next week.
- [14:54]
B
All right.
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A
It's in the book.
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B
Oh, well, if you go to page,
- [14:56]
A
the book is called. This is what they call a natural plug. The book is called I'll bring the apps. Taters and teenies. Okay, Explain taters and Teenies.
- [15:05]
B
Page 233. So in this book, I have this method I created called the apps method. So in my first two cookbooks, you have the cheese by numbers method, which tells you how to build a cheese plate step by step. Now we're expanding to the apps method, which tells you how to host a snacky party step by step. And through this, we have four ambiance, presentation, pairings, and space. So I have this sample menu to throw a taters and teenies party. And here's how we break it down. Ambiance. You want tea, light candles, taper candles, dim lighting. Like a New York City bar, music should transport you to an intimate setting with smooth soul, R and B and classic jazz Presentation.
- [15:45]
A
Do you have a playlist? Do you have some examples of that?
- [15:47]
B
If you go onto my Spotify that cheese plate, I have a bunch of different playlists from the second book. I actually had a playlist for each cheese plate in the book. I was going, I'm going to make menu playlists for these, but I'm busy right now. You know, I got a lot to do. Okay.
- [16:01]
A
Okay.
- [16:02]
B
Presentation. This is what we're building on the grazing table, right? A martini glass tower on display, colors to resemble.
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A
If I walked into a home and saw a martini glass tower, I'd be like, I didn't dress up enough.
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B
No, but they're like, I would immediately. They're not that nice.
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A
Well, even so, yeah.
- [16:20]
B
Okay. And for this actual party, I filled the martini glass with mini new potatoes, like red potatoes and purple potatoes and things like that. So then you want to match your tablescape to colors that resemble the shades of potatoes and olives. So red spige Green and then, you know, some greenery and things like that. Pairings we're going to highlight starchy, briny, cheesy, savory, tangy dishes, which I give you the bites, bowls and boards to pair. And then for the space that's kind of about like where are these apps being placed? Because if you're putting your apps out and they're in like the corner of the room, everyone's crowded over there. You want to think about ample flow and like kind of spread. So we're going to set up the table with all the snacks in the center of the room, like you know, in your living room or in your kitchen where people can go around it. And then we're also going to set up a separate bar area for DIY martini garnishes, which you can also find on page 205. We add cheese to our martinis now.
- [17:17]
A
How are you, how's the martinis getting made? Like how are you saying, are you batch making a martini or is it like the party? Are you making?
- [17:27]
B
Yeah, I usually will. Cuz I like to always have an action when I'm hosting. Like I hate just like you know, standing there, which is ironic because I'm like, I hate cooking dinner and I don't want to be in the kitchen, but I want to do something with my hands while I'm talking to my friends, you know. So I always prefer as the host to like make a cocktail for someone as they come in. So I will kind of like be on martini duty, make you your cocktail, et cetera. But in the past when I've had larger groups, I've batched martinis before. It's. You kind of want to go on like the less dirty side so that people can add more brine if they want. You can never remove the brine, so that's super easy to do. And then just have like a little spread of different types of garnishes, like stuffed olives and you could do pepperoncinis. You could do whole array of things in the book.
- [18:09]
A
I have one with like a nice toothpick. Is that.
- [18:11]
B
Yeah, with like a deal or a little like metal skewer, something like that. Find on Amazon. Super easy.
- [18:17]
A
So this is, this book is basically like. Because I do think there is. If I, if I'm to like be as a comedian, I have to notice I have to take the temperature, of course, of society.
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B
Roast me board.
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A
Lord, I'm ready a lot in life. No, well, you're not to be roasted. This is something I think people Are yearning for. Yes, I use the word yearning. I. I think people want to be more social, but I think we also want social on our own terms, right? Like, I got dinner. I got dinner like a month ago with my dad, my mom and dad's friend, and he's an older guy. He'd been asking her to go to dinner with me. And I was like, I gotta go to dinner with this older guy. You know, like, you have this moment. You're like, like, what do we talk about? Social. And I. What do I ask when we talk about? Right? This is the whole thing. We want to be social, but we also, like, I don't know, do I have the energy?
- [19:08]
B
Like, I'm sitting on my couch and I'm, jennifey, don't make me stand.
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A
Right? And here's the other thing. We are generally, if you. If you question someone after the social event that they went to and dreaded, I think I. It is my belief, 9.9 out of 10 times people go, I'm happy I went. I'm happy I did that.
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B
Exactly.
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A
And that's like the real. It's like, I don't want to go. I'm a 10 and I don't want to go. And I'm a 10. And I feel satiated from going. Isn't that crazy?
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B
It's, like, going on because I.
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A
That's how I feel.
- [19:41]
B
It's like exercising. Like, you don't want. Like, don't you force me to put on shoes and go running. I will. No, I refuse. And then say, I run. Except for, like, a long walk, right? I come back and I'm like, sure. So happy I went outside. Wow. Like, you're never, like, leaving a workout and coming back being like, man, that was so stupid of me. I wish I just sat on the couch. It's the same thing with socializing. It's a different type of muscle totally. But it's like, especially since we're so isolated with the phones, it's like you forget that you actually need socialization in order to, like, be human and, like, remember why we're in this simulation.
- [20:16]
A
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- [22:13]
B
Yeah, like, don't even worry. Like, there's so many easy recipes in here. Like, my whole point with this book was like, I have seen so many tiktoks of these, like, elaborate, insane dinner parties that take people, like, days and days to do. And of course, like, all you do on social media is compare yourself to other people. So as someone who's a content creator in, like, the hosting space space, I'm sitting there in my pajamas being like, I. I should be doing. Why am I not roasting an entire chicken? And, you know, shopping for florals in the gar. The flower district and creating these massive arches. It's like, you actually don't need to do that because at the end of the day, people just want to get together. You can have a bowl of chips and it's. It's fine. And so I feel like with this
- [22:54]
A
and call it a. Call it a. A chippy party.
- [22:57]
B
A chippy party and tricky snacky party. Cool. Great. Right? If there's a particle with the people Love a brand. Yeah, people. People love a brand, right?
- [23:04]
A
Took you two minutes.
- [23:05]
B
Yeah, exactly. So I think with this book, the recipes, I just kind of sat down and was like, what do I like to eat? Slash, what do I like to cook? That doesn't make me feel stressed. So we have like, you know, the most complicated recipe in here is probably like a red wine poached pear because like very fancy and like elevated. But all you do is just soak a pear for a really long time. Like, it's actually not that hard.
- [23:27]
A
What would you do? What would a, what would a, what event would you bring a red wine poach pear to?
- [23:34]
B
What would that, like a Galentine's type thing where you like kind of lean into those like very deep maroon tones. You can also do. I didn't even eat it with a fork and knife. So it's actually. So it's in the bites chapter because
- [23:48]
A
it's so everyone's sitting there with a fork and knife and a pear on a plate.
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B
Well, you know, they're soft.
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A
It is beautiful. I'm not.
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B
It's soft enough.
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A
So it's more of a salad thing.
- [23:58]
B
Yeah, Well, I, I would say like you can stand and eat it with a fork. You don't need a knife. Because.
- [24:03]
A
Because, because it's the side of a fork.
- [24:05]
B
Yeah, because it's poached. It's very soft. But that's the one bite that I feel like is probably the most complicated, I would say, because you're also not like picking. That isn't like biting with your hands.
- [24:16]
A
Is that, is that something you're thinking of, like the one handed nature of these things? That's something that is important to me.
- [24:22]
B
That's like the bite chapter as a
- [24:24]
A
giant pig who wants to eat at other people's parties.
- [24:27]
B
Oh, for sure.
- [24:28]
A
I would say that my biggest concern is that I can drink with one hand and eat with the other. And I. And then right. If I had a third hand, it would be on the phone looking at that. Like I. How do you, do you think about that when you're putting these together?
- [24:43]
B
Yeah, 100%. So the whole first chapter is called Bites. So everything is literally bite sized. Like this one is a cheesy Pl.
- [24:50]
A
Marissa holds the picture up to the camera. Yeah. As you're watching on YouTube, in this
- [24:55]
B
whole chapter, everything you have is something that you can hold in your hand. And I would say like when I'm crafting my menu, I like to do an array of bites, bowls and boards just so there's kind of like differentiation happening. If you're serving something in a bowl, like chips and dip, that could be a one handed thing. If it's a salad, you obviously should serve little plates. But I think just like consider like how many people are coming, how many like plates do you really want to have? If it's like a ton of people and you just want people to, you know, take bites, you can do a dip with chips, you could do bites, you could do a cheese board where someone just makes a little bite on the board. But if you're wanting to do like something a little bit more elaborate, you can serve a salad or a pasta salad or the poach pears.
- [25:41]
A
I have a couple questions before we go.
- [25:43]
B
Yeah.
- [25:43]
A
Okay. One, what you. This is more of a personal question than it is for the listeners. It's your third book. I have a book coming out walking Red flag. You can pre order it now.
- [25:54]
B
Let's go.
- [25:55]
A
What is, what is your biggest advice for someone with a book coming out?
- [25:59]
B
Take control of your narrative, of the promotion of your book. So I used to work in the music business and I did a lot of music touring. I pretty much copied and pasted that touring mindset to my book tour where instead of going to local bookstores to just sign books, I'm hosting snacky parties at the 1 Hotel properties across the country. Which was basically me hitting them up, being like, hey, I have this idea. Will you guys talk to me about it? And basically pitched this whole concept because no one's really done this before for a cookbook. And my whole idea is like, if this is a book of food, we ought to be eating at these events. Like, there's no reason why.
- [26:37]
A
You got to see the product, you got to feel it.
- [26:39]
B
Yeah. And so, right, we put together this 10 city book tour across the country, teaming up with the one hotel, the Hoxton Hotel, a few like cute farms and things like that to throw these snacky parties through that I made tour merch. I did promotional wild postings around the city with like a tour ad mat. Like, I want to make it feel like you're living in the world of this book. And I think a lot of people are so focused on like preorder book sales that they forget to actually like build an environment that your audience can actually like exist in. And I think for you it's like great because you already have tor kind of like set up like you are a touring comedian. So I would say just like invite people into your world versus trying to sell them this book. Like, what can they get out of this book. And how can this book make you feel like you guys are all in this group chat together versus, like pre order now, Pre order now. You know, it's like no one wants to be sold to anymore. And it's like, you wrote this book and it means a lot to you. So, like, why does it mean a lot?
- [27:42]
A
It's a great advice for anyone that's like looking to promote anything. Like, you know, how do you make it your own? How do you make it natural to you? It's natural to you to have a snacky party. This is what you do.
- [27:52]
B
Yeah.
- [27:53]
A
So what's also, you know, with the
- [27:55]
B
current, it's hard to cut through the noise these days too, because there's so much happening on social media and it's so oversaturated. So that's why I feel like doing something in your own unique way and not following the crowd does cut through because, like, you know, I posted this video of me like, literally wheat posting wild. Posting whatever they're called in the city in like a head to toe leather outfit and like Prada sunglasses. And people are like, yeah, that's the cheese plate, girl. What's happening? And it's like, yeah, exactly. I want you to stop and be like, wait, what is this? You know, it's just like, you really got to think about creative ways to, to get the word out these days. It's. It's crazy. It's much different than how it used to be.
- [28:40]
A
Look at now. We're 100 years old.
- [28:42]
B
Yeah.
- [28:42]
A
Now we're back in my day promoting a book. Yeah. So here's my other question. Before I get to a game, I want to play with you.
- [28:51]
B
Amazing.
- [28:51]
A
The. The. Okay, go. You moved?
- [28:57]
B
Are you.
- [28:57]
A
Are you seeing anyone? Were you single when you moved? Were you in a relationship? You know, I asked this because I moved single to Delray beach. And a lot of people would ask me when I moved to Delray beach, women would ask me, do I have any friends here? That was like a big thing for women.
- [29:16]
B
Interesting.
- [29:17]
A
And I didn't even consider having friends here. I was like, my parents live 25 minutes away. That's good enough for me.
- [29:23]
B
Right.
- [29:24]
A
I don't know. I'm a man. I don't need friends. Yeah. That was kind of like my thought. Do you. Did you. What was your situation and how has that been? Being in a new town?
- [29:33]
B
Yeah. No, Great question. I moved single. I also was in the mindset before I moved. I was like, I'm never going to move until I can move with someone because, like, I don't know anyone. You know, it was always like a fear. And then once the wine bar happened, I was like, know it. Let's just move and see what happens. I'm so happy.
- [29:53]
A
Also known to me as the most horrific people on planet Earth.
- [29:56]
B
I really hope they don't listen. What if they're your top listener and
- [29:59]
A
they're like, they love this show.
- [30:02]
B
Yeah, they probably are.
- [30:04]
A
Cheese plate girl from upstairs, she moved cuz of us.
- [30:07]
B
She's talking.
- [30:08]
A
Oh, my God.
- [30:09]
B
She.
- [30:10]
A
We thought she loved us.
- [30:11]
B
Yeah. But, yeah, you ruined her life. So I moved alone. And it's also. You probably are running in this. Running into this too. When you leave New York City, there's less single people. Like, there's a lot of single people in the city, but, like, when you move to kind of more suburban places, there's a lot couples. And most of my friends upstate are in couples. So at first, like, I mean, it didn't bother me because I. I'm just, like, a very independent person. I. I travel for work so much. I'm always seeing friends, things like that. Um, I did meet a few people upstate, but none of them really were my vibe. It was like, a lot of people who, like, recently got out of relationships, like, they moved up there with a partner, and then it didn't work out, and now they're, like, roaming the streets searching for a new one, and I'm like, oh, not for me, you know? So what I ended up doing is recently. So last year, I was just so focused on, like, rooting into this new place, making friends, working on the book. Like, I actually, like, didn't prioritize dating at all. But this year, I've been sent to the city so much for work that I went back on Hinge. I set my location to Greenpoint, and I have a prompt that says I split time between upstate and the city. Is that a hundred percent true? Not really, but it did kind of, like, filter some people in who were like, oh, I love upstate. Like, I go up there all the time. Or, like, right.
- [31:33]
A
Oh, like, it was a conversation.
- [31:35]
B
Yeah. And it's like one of those things where I. I don't have to fully lie and say I live in Greenpoint, but I can kind of hint at the fact that it's like, yeah, I'm here for work a lot, but I do mainly live up there.
- [31:47]
A
You know, I think that works better for someone in their 30s than it does someone in their 20s, for sure, I think.
- [31:52]
B
Well, I don't think anyone in their 20s would, like, randomly move to the middle of the woods alone.
- [31:57]
A
Well, I think a lot of people in their 20s would be living at home in the woods with their family and. And they're. They're like, I'm in the city all the time. I think it's different when it's like I'm an independent person or who comes in the city because I like coming and I work here, and I have, you know, there's value to me, you know, financially, personally, that I can get from here. And it would be a nice addition to meet someone nice who understands that, you know, Like, I. Yeah, yeah. So I know. I. That's cool to hear because I. It's funny. It's like, why do people move to certain places? Hudson Valley. Okay. I'm in a couple. I'm moving to do the next phase of life. Oh, my God. It didn't work out.
- [32:36]
B
Yeah.
- [32:37]
A
You know, I have Delray Beach. My thing in Florida was everyone had kind of like a. Something had happened to make them move here.
- [32:46]
B
Yeah. Like some traumatic life, incidentally.
- [32:50]
A
Traumatic. Right. Like, they were grifted out of all their savings, and they're like, I had to run away. You know, like, it was like a. There's, like, a lot of that. Because New York, I think we're used to people pursuing some sort of dream, some sort of passion, and. Or else why would they be there?
- [33:09]
B
Yeah.
- [33:10]
A
So it's.
- [33:11]
B
It's.
- [33:11]
A
Why would you deal with it?
- [33:12]
B
Yeah, it's a lot like. And now that I don't live here, I come back and I'm like, whoa, how the hell did I do this for so long?
- [33:19]
A
I. I go for two days, and by the end of the two days, I'm like, it's time to go.
- [33:23]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [33:24]
A
I. And I love the two days.
- [33:25]
B
Like, well, now you're like a tourist, and you're like, I'm staying up till 4am I'm like, being a crazy person. And then I retreat back.
- [33:33]
A
You're in the wine bar.
- [33:35]
B
Yeah. They're my best friends now.
- [33:40]
A
That person upstairs.
- [33:41]
B
Yeah.
- [33:42]
A
You don't give a.
- [33:43]
B
No, totally.
- [33:43]
A
All right. I have one last question, and it's something that I've had a theory on. You know, listen, I'm. I'm food adjacent, so I have these wacky ideas, and then I want to check it through the professionals. You're an expert.
- [33:56]
B
Yeah.
- [33:56]
A
Hit me the the Appetizer World, and the book is called I'll Bring the Apps. It's out. You can buy it Anywhere books are sold. The link is in the bio. This episode. I have an idea for a wedding. I want to have a wedding where it's pass around a d'.
- [34:16]
B
Oeuvres.
- [34:17]
A
The whole wedding.
- [34:19]
B
Snacky wedding goes from obsessed.
- [34:21]
A
A snacky wedding. And it starts with the regular pass around horse. That be a cocktail hour.
- [34:27]
B
Yep.
- [34:27]
A
And then it keeps evolving throughout the night. And over the course of the night, you don't even notice that we've moved from cocktail hour.
- [34:38]
B
Now there's a slider happening.
- [34:40]
A
Some sort of a slider. And then we're moving towards dinner items. And there's sides coming around.
- [34:46]
B
There's like, mashed potatoes in little mini martini cups.
- [34:51]
A
Wait, what? What is that?
- [34:52]
B
Mashed potatoes and little mini martini cups to do taters and teenies.
- [34:56]
A
You get it.
- [34:56]
B
Yeah.
- [34:57]
A
You get it. So my. The thing that I'm stuck on. Why don't we do it this way? I think this is the best idea to do at a wedding. I think a wedding where it's constant pass around a d'.
- [35:09]
B
Oeuvres. Yeah.
- [35:10]
A
And then it ends with, like, all of a sudden, you see cupcakes coming around. You know, the night is over.
- [35:15]
B
What time is it? Been dancing for so long. Wow.
- [35:18]
A
Right? What? Oh, my God, the wedding's over. Then suddenly the late night snack comes around. It's a little mini pizzas coming around. So you get it. Why wouldn't we do it this way? The. The response I get a lot is that older people like to sit down. And to me, I. They can. I kind of Ivan Drago that. I'm like, if they die, they die. You know, Like, I. I don't really
- [35:40]
B
also, like, you could. They could sit on a couch. Like, it doesn't. It doesn't mean you're not gonna have any seats. Right. Or are you.
- [35:46]
A
Right. There'll be tables.
- [35:47]
B
Like. Yeah, there'll be places to sit. Like, it's not like the whole. It's not a dance marathon. Like, you're not gonna like, I really
- [35:53]
A
want a dim sum wedding is really what I'm looking for.
- [35:56]
B
No, I love that idea. I actually. So one of the, you know. You know how people do, like, the ins and outs of 2026? I made an ins list and something I put on it was what I call it, like, staggered apps. So, like, for example, I had a better term for it. But when you're throwing a snacky party, for example, this could be a wedding. You have your apps set out. So, like, room temp. But then surprise, halfway through, I bring out Tater tots or like, oh, I bring out something hot. So it's like you kind of have apps and waves, which is very much exactly what you're talking about. And I think that's a great idea. I also think, again, people are just in group think, follow the crowd. What everyone else does, everyone's going to do. Everyone's done weddings the same way for so many years. So if I'm getting married, I have to do that. And people are afraid to break the mold because what if it doesn't work? But what if it's actually the best idea ever? You just have to be that person
- [36:50]
A
if it's a reason. Right. What if I'm a revolutionary?
- [36:53]
B
I think that you need to, like, trademark this and, you know, disrupt some wedding.
- [36:59]
A
Do you think there would be any issues with me with cultural appropriation maybe? Like, yeah, this guy, Jared Freed came up with dim sum wedding.
- [37:06]
B
Maybe like, appetizer past that wedding or something a little bit more vague?
- [37:13]
A
I got a game for you. You ready?
- [37:14]
B
Yes.
- [37:14]
A
It's called what app would you bring?
- [37:17]
B
Whoa.
- [37:18]
A
Okay, I'm so you are our app expert. I want you to give us an app you would bring to this party. I'm going to describe from the book.
- [37:28]
B
From the book. Okay.
- [37:29]
A
Okay. It's from the book.
- [37:31]
B
I'm opening up my.
- [37:32]
A
Tell us what app you would bring. Go to the table of contents. This is called what app would you bring? You ready?
- [37:39]
B
Love this.
- [37:42]
A
It's a Super bowl party. The couple, they're huge fans of the team that's in the Super Bowl. Everyone needs to stay quiet during the game, but they insist on having everyone over because the marriage isn't doing well.
- [37:57]
B
What do you bring? So we're going to do three different things that are quiet to eat. Right? Because, like, do you want, like, a chip crunch? No. Has to be silent.
- [38:09]
A
These people are such big fans. They're crazy that a chip crunch too much might end the marriage.
- [38:14]
B
Okay.
- [38:14]
A
And the marriage isn't doing well.
- [38:15]
B
Okay.
- [38:16]
A
So you can't get them in a fight.
- [38:18]
B
No. Okay, so we're going to serve the buffalo chicken meatballs because game day snacks.
- [38:23]
A
Oh, my God.
- [38:23]
B
And they're also.
- [38:24]
A
I want that yesterday you could hold
- [38:25]
B
one with a toothpick. Easy. We're gonna serve chicken, sausage, pepper, and onion bites. This is like a little mini pepper, which might be kind of crunchy, but if someone's cheering, bite when they cheer. There you go.
- [38:40]
A
I like this. I I listen, is, Is the chicken sausage spicy or is it just this one?
- [38:45]
B
It's like A. It's like an Italian chicken sausage. We're gonna saute it, and then we're also going to caramelize onions. And you put the onions and chicken sausage in the pepper cup and top it with a little bit of grainy mustard.
- [38:57]
A
Oh, my God. These are all flavors. I love that. Is that.
- [38:59]
B
And then the last one we serve, because this is just a classic game day snack is my favorite in the book. The cause we're gonna double down on onions because if people are distracted by everyone else's bad breath, maybe the couple will be like, oh, your breath isn't that bad. Like, we can actually work this out. So we're gonna serve the caramelized onion dip. So everyone's gonna have something, but people
- [39:22]
A
talk less when they think they have bad breath.
- [39:24]
B
There you go. That too. That too. So that solves the marriage snacky. Yum. Delicious. And also like game day adjacent. I would serve that.
- [39:34]
A
Okay. It's a barbecue where the husband takes grilling very seriously and the wife put on the invitation that this event is bunless because they're gluten free. They call the party no buns in the sun. What do you bring?
- [39:50]
B
All right, well, I'm going to go to my snacky party menu in the back and hit up the poolside day party menu. Okay. We're gonna do a something that I call handheld pasta salad. And this is a skewer that has pasta salad elements on it. So we got tortellini, we got cucumber, we got olives, we got basil, and you could just hold it, eat it. Little salami on there. Handheld pasta salad. We're going to do.
- [40:17]
A
Do we go with a gluten free pasta? Can we sub in? Is that what we would do?
- [40:21]
B
Oh, I forgot. She. Well, yeah, Gluten.
- [40:24]
A
They're very gluten free. Not just gluten free.
- [40:27]
B
Forget about that. Do you know what we're doing instead? Since he loves to grill, we're doing the tajin watermelon and halloumi skewers. So grilled halloumi is one of my all time favorite cheeses. When you grill it, it becomes kind of squeaky and it's really salty. So you pair that with watermelon and a little bit of tajin for some spice. It's like the perfect sweet, salty, fresh. Great for an outside barbecue. We're also going to serve the pineapple cowboy caviar. Everyone loves a nice little dip with corn and beans and tons of veggies. Super bright flavors. And then I'd lovely serve Burrata. I have a burrata. And this one, you know, you don't think about burrata.
- [41:10]
A
How do you do burrata as an app? Burrada is an app. I don't know about that one.
- [41:14]
B
I'm sorry.
- [41:14]
A
Marissa, push back on you. You are the expert.
- [41:16]
B
You know, I think because we're outside, you can get dirty. You can get a little messy with it. It's okay. And burrata is a fresh cheese, so fresh cheese in the summer is, like, what you want. And on this, we're going to do pesto. We're going to do prosciutto and roasted red peppers to kind of like, you know, give us that herbaceous pop. Tons of fresh. Go to the garden, pick the basil, put it on top.
- [41:38]
A
Listen, I'll allow it. Since you use the word herbaceous. I've never heard that word. And I'll allow it. Okay, ready? Two more.
- [41:47]
B
Okay.
- [41:49]
A
It's a girls night after your friend from high school who kind of drifted away when she got into a relationship, was recently dumped by that boyfriend.
- [41:59]
B
Oh.
- [41:59]
A
It's deemed a men suck soiree.
- [42:03]
B
Okay. Okay. I like this one. So.
- [42:08]
A
Okay, what do you bring?
- [42:09]
B
We're gonna do kind of like all the. The reds, the pinks, the girly, like, leaning into, like, the galentine color palette, because we're just, like, channeling girl power. So I would definitely serve the red wine poached pears here because we're feeling kind of like, you know, elevated blood. Like, that feels like a man cut into it and you're like, him did you wrong. Exactly. I like that. Another really beautiful dip I have that's, like a very nice pink color, is a swirled roasted beet whipped feta with maple carrots. So again, we have kind of like the sweetness from the beets, but then, like, the savory from the feta. Really nice combination.
- [42:49]
A
And then I also like the idea of women sitting around that dip, like, slowly digging into it, but being wary of other people not having too much. It's a good talky.
- [43:04]
B
It is, you know, like, snack. Yeah, it's. And you. When you look at it, it's conversational. It's on the COVID if anyone's looking on the screen. It's very unique. Looking beautiful, you know, so you're probably like, what's in that? Yeah. You know, brings up a comp. Oh, here it is.
- [43:17]
A
And that's. Yeah. What's in that is a good in
- [43:20]
B
between to distract from heartbreak from the hor.
- [43:24]
A
Right. The heartbreak story. And you know what Robert said to me? He said he wasn't as attracted to me as before. And then someone goes, what's in the dip?
- [43:34]
B
Yeah. They're like, anyways, oh, we should make some savory s', mores, which is number three. Savory s'. Mores. Think s'. Mores. But we're melting cheese.
- [43:42]
A
What's a savory s'? More?
- [43:43]
B
So.
- [43:44]
A
Oh my God.
- [43:45]
B
Exactly that. So you know, during this party, like, it could be between the temperatures of 40 degrees and, you know, 70 degrees. Sure. Everyone's like, you know what? Get your mind off this guy. We're going out back, I'm lighting a fire, and we're gonna roast some cheese over the fire. And what you do is, you have cheese, you got salami, you got hot honey, you, you got a bunch of different combinations, and you make savory s'. Mores. So that's your third option.
- [44:10]
A
What cheese would you use for this?
- [44:12]
B
So in this one on page 178, if you're referring to the book, let me just do a little flip through. We got brie. So the first pairing is brie, apple and fig jam on a graham cracker. So you got like the creamy, crunchy, sweet slice.
- [44:31]
A
Yeah, I didn't see it coming.
- [44:34]
B
Next one, smoked mozzarella, salami and spicy honey on a baguette. So that's like smoky, savory, spicy sweet. And then the last one is gouda apple spicy honey graham cracker, which is like, rich.
- [44:47]
A
That sounds Gouda to me.
- [44:48]
B
Yeah. And then when you're roasting your cheese, does he stand up like a flame? This is his head. Hahaha. You know.
- [44:55]
A
Right. It does give you a little bit of, you know, a little, a physical element to it that I, I agree with.
- [45:01]
B
Okay. Just stand up to the flame. You gotta, you gotta keep an eye on the cheese so it doesn't like, melt and fall into the fire. Of course.
- [45:07]
A
So you, you gotta. Which is good. You want to be able to, like, take a break from the conversation of the person getting dumped. Also, because you haven't really caught up with them in a while because they kind of drifted being in that relationship. It's a good, you know, an actual. Hey, let's go to lighter topics. Which is. Yeah, something to do. Okay. You're going to a monthly book club where the book is a sexy thriller that everyone can't stop talking about. Your one friend said it makes her rethink her sexuality and she'd like to talk about it at the party. What do you bring?
- [45:43]
B
Okay. Okay, let's See, what do we got here?
- [45:47]
A
I would start out with, remember, she's very confused. The book made her rethink everything. She's married 10 years, two kids. She's debating whether she should open up the marriage or end it completely and go another way. But this book really affected her, man. And she wants. She really can't wait to talk to you about that.
- [46:17]
B
Okay, so. So I would first again, distract her a little bit through food because I don't want to go there. I don't want you to ruin your
- [46:26]
A
marriage for this book.
- [46:27]
B
But since the book is a sexy murder thriller, whatever, we're going to go with some, like, sexy flavors, like the maple candied bacon, deviled egg. So you got maple candied bacon, and then you got a deviled egg that has some maple syrup in it, but some mustard. It's tangy, it's sweet. You know, the texture is, like, soft and nice in your mouth. It's like a very luxurious bite.
- [46:55]
A
What I like about this, it's a good idea because it is a luxurious bite, but it is also not one that makes you feel yourself, like, Right.
- [47:04]
B
It's not like you're eating a deviled egg or like, ooh, you know.
- [47:08]
A
Right.
- [47:08]
B
That's.
- [47:09]
A
This isn't sexy. If you. Nobody would eat a deviled egg. A deviled egg is kind of the opposite of, like, I'd like to go hook up afterwards. Like, you have a double day.
- [47:21]
B
Stinky breath. You have.
- [47:23]
A
Right. You've checked out of the hookup game. So maybe that brings her back to reality to see how she feels at, like, dormant hours.
- [47:33]
B
Right.
- [47:34]
A
And then she can have a more thoughtful conversation about her sexuality where she's not rushing to change her life based on a book.
- [47:43]
B
Exactly. And I think to go off of that same idea, we can serve the snacks for dinner. Cheese plate. To remind her that this is just a book and we're just having book club with snacks. And remember what your reality is. And it's kind of like a little quirky plate. You got chips on it. You got some turkey, you got some pickles. Like, just take her out of the moment, right?
- [48:08]
A
Let's. Let's have some normaly. I. I like that. The deviled eggs. A little bit of. It's a little fancy, but also, like, you just ate deviled eggs. You're not meeting up with the woman who works at the flower shop. You're not meeting up with her. You had a devil egg.
- [48:23]
B
You had a devil.
- [48:24]
A
And then the snack plate to be like, hey, this is what you serve your kids in.
- [48:29]
B
Remember you have children.
- [48:31]
A
Right?
- [48:32]
B
Let's remember them. And then so just because if you
- [48:36]
A
make a decision, just remember who you're changing the life of. The. The same kids who eat these same chips that are on the plate.
- [48:43]
B
Exactly.
- [48:44]
A
Will be affected. Yeah. Okay. I like this.
- [48:46]
B
And then, you know, I'd probably give her a dark chocolate tequila espresso martini just to wash down her sorrow.
- [48:53]
A
Just to loosen up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
- [48:55]
B
You know, Marissa Mullen. Yeah.
- [48:58]
A
Thank you so much. Everyone. Go follow at that cheese plate. Obviously follow the Instagram account, but obviously buy the book. I'll bring the apps. It is wonderful. Fantastic. It's our third book, you know, it's going to be great. She's holding up on YouTube. Marissa, we love you. Thank you for coming back on the J Train podcast. We will be back next week. Boom.